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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Good morning
This is the time of year I start watching all the films I didn't get around to watching in 2011. Last night I watched Drive and loved it, I might try out The Tree Of Life tonight if I feel I'm in the right mood for it.

Have you got anything you need to catch up on from 2011 or is it full steam ahead for 2012?

Alt: What's shaping up to be the best music festival this year? I've never been to one and I hope to get around to it this year.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 8:42, 215 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
I'd love to go to a festival this year, but money just won't allow it
i have a stag do coming up in Feb that i need £400 for, which wouldn't normally be an issue but I'm now the sole provider in the Ape household.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 8:48, Reply)
I watched Cowboys and Aliens last yesterday, it was quite good for a sci-fi action flick.
You should go to Download, Sabbath are reforming for it and BGB is going too.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 8:50, Reply)
I sometimes feel bands should leave their legacies intact rather than keep on and on

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 8:51, Reply)
I quite enjoyed it despite not liking cowboys.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 8:52, Reply)
I've heard nothing but bad things about it...maybe I'll have a look

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 8:53, Reply)
Anyone that wanted to start bad mouthing films could find much worse to go to town on.
It's a film about cowboys and aliens, exactly how much high art are people expecting. It has cowboys fighting aliens and the aliens look good and the cowboys are gruff and mean. You can't really fault it for what it is.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:27, Reply)
i'm not a cowboy anymore
:'(
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:08, Reply)
Are you wearing a wig of pubic hair
and have two large lips glued to your back?

Cause you're a dead ringer for a cunt.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:25, Reply)
no, and also that is hurtful

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:31, Reply)
Oh come on
that was quite a good one. Don't get your frilly knickers in a twist Quentin, you're better than that.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:32, Reply)
look i didn't start anything, i was just here minding my non-cowboy business and you come around here with your accusations of being a cunt and its not like i ever asked for it or anything
i'm gazzing the mods, i shouldn't have to put up with this
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:37, Reply)
What would you have done if you were a cowboy?

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:38, Reply)
i'd have spat in the spitoon, pulled up my gunbelt and taken you outside for a showdown

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:39, Reply)

show hoe
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:41, Reply)
nah wai dood, i had it all planned out in my head yesterday for how to do a showdown online
we get a third person to post "DRAW!", and the first person to reply to them with 'pachow!' wins the showdown
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:42, Reply)
DRAW!

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:44, Reply)
pachow!

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:45, Reply)
WINNER!

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:45, Reply)
YEAH-HAW!
superfly is dead! I'm the new mayor or Offtopic Town
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:46, Reply)
pachow!
I was wearing a boiler plate round my neck like Clint Eastwood in For a Few Dollers More* and also Marty McFly in Back to the Future 3.


* may have been another film
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:48, Reply)
ah fuck, soo cold, bring me mary from the whorehouse
i need so say goodbye
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:50, Reply)
*brings martha*

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:53, Reply)
fuck off, martha's got a face like a builder's arsehole

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:55, Reply)
If you are catching up on films, make sure you see Bridesmaids.
I haven't been to a music festival since 2002, so no help from me I'm afraid.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 8:55, Reply)
Oh man, there are loads....
Green Lantern, Thor, Capt. America, Hugo, the last Harry Potter (both parts), Tranformers 3, Fast Five, Hangover 2, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Real Steal, Tintin, Super 8.

I also gotta get Xman First Lesson to complete the DVD. Apparently next up is an Origans for Cyclops.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 8:56, Reply)
Hangover 2 = utter crap.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 8:57, Reply)
When the first one was out on DVD, there was a bloke in the cab office I was working in at the time who insisted we watched it twice a night twice a weekend every week for 3 months straight.
I really learnt to fucking hate that film, but I still want to see #2, just once, only once, and then never again.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 8:59, Reply)
It is 100 times worse than the first one.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:01, Reply)
Is the whole thing one big contrived meeting of 10 different directors/producers yelling at each other "WHAT COOL THING CAN WE DO NEXT? HOW CAN WE GET TEENAGE GIRLS TO USE THE WORD 'RANDOM' ?".

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:14, Reply)
Transformers 3 is gash.
The others from there I've seen are excellent.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:00, Reply)
I didn't like the first two, wanna give the third one a chance.
Michael Bay is a cunt who stole my childhood, in that respect.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:05, Reply)
I liked the first two, but the third one is diabolically bad.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:06, Reply)
I wanna see if I can get something that'll convert a 3D avi file (or whatever the 3d format is)...
... and convert it on the fly to blue/red alternative. That would be so fucking cool.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:15, Reply)
That's the most schizophrenic list of 'good' movies I've ever read.
Thor, Captain America and Planet Of The Apes were great and Hugo looks great.

But Green Lantern? Hangover 2? Real Steel? (I actually can't believe I even went to see Real Steel. It looked like it would be dreadful and it was dreadful).
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:01, Reply)
I'll be honest with you, I just googled "top 10 films...." and choose some films I want to see...
... none of these films I wanted to see enough to be bothered to leave the house for.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:03, Reply)
Planet Of The Apes is excellent

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:04, Reply)
I'll get my hands on a copy when I get back into the land of real internets and then possibly purchase.
I fucking love using a computer to run my telly, the freeview is better than any box-set, and I can see all my downloaded content really well too.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:07, Reply)
Unless it's top quality, don't bother I'd say
Excellent film, but the effects really help to make it.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:10, Reply)
I can more than likely get a bluray rip.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:11, Reply)
Sweet

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:11, Reply)
Ah, I see.
I wouldn't want to leave the house either if I was excited to live somewhere as you so obviously are with your new place.

But Planet Of The Apes, as AA says, is surprisingly great.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:05, Reply)
I like going out now, it means I get to come home to a lovely flat/home.
Yesterday I hoovered up even though it didn't need it, I just did it cus I dropped a single piece of popcorn and realised it's been 3 days since I last hoovered. I also wash my plates every time I finish eating, like, within an hour. And I put all my stuff away all nice and neetly where that piece of stuff belongs. And within an hour of waking up I put my bed back (think about this one, you get to go back to sleep to a really lovely coozy home made bed... if you do it every day it only takes a minute, and then every week from scratch so you can wash the sheets).

I love having a really nice place to live.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:10, Reply)
easier to keep a tidy flat tidy, than to tidy a messy falt
or something
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:12, Reply)
Yeah man.
I filled up about 10 skips worth of stuff, true story.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:16, Reply)
I actually quite enjoyed Green Lantern
It wasn't great, but could have been far worse.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:03, Reply)
I didn't hate it,, but it couldn't be in any list of 'good' films.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:04, Reply)
Definitely

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:07, Reply)
It's fine if you don't know anything about the character. My girlfriend liked it, but it got on my nerves too much.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:41, Reply)
Full steam ahead for me, really
Alt: I'm not planning on festivaling this year, but this was the first to tempt me, despite it being in The Netherlands. Download would be excellent too, but I just don't fancy it this year, it costs far too much, and I would dislike 90% of the people there.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 8:58, Reply)
Those band names sound like they're made up by happy well-rounded indeviduals.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:00, Reply)
My thoughts exactly

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:01, Reply)
I like bands you can decide you hate just by there names.
It saves so much effort.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:06, Reply)
'their'

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:09, Reply)
ha. Yes. Indeed.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:10, Reply)
this is the ultimate spelling grammar put down, you realise that don't you?

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:11, Reply)
You should of told me.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:37, Reply)
I like bands whose names describe what it feels like to listen to them
Like "Hour of Penance", "Abysmal Torment", "Suffering Quota" and "Misery Index" to name but 4 just on that bill.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:39, Reply)
I'm listening to that Adel lass, I like listening to her in the morning, good wake up music.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:12, Reply)
Oh man i love "Cattle Decapitation"

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:07, Reply)
I was looking forward more to Cannibal Corpse, with their lovely song titles, such as 'Entrails Ripped From A Virgins Cunt', 'I Cum Blood', and the classic singalong 'Fucked With A Knife'

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:09, Reply)
I like metal and fgairly heavy stuff like "Lamb of God" and "Slayer"
but i cannot in any way get my head around bands like cannibal corpse
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:10, Reply)
I can understand that completely
But for whatever reason, I like them
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:13, Reply)
Try The Human Centipede, 1 and 2.
The 2nd one needed 32 cuts, to get it through the censore, apparently one of them said it was the sickest thing he'd ever seen, and contravened the Obscenre Publications Act.

Edit, I've just realised you're talking bands, and not horror films. It's still early.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:15, Reply)
I've actually read the censors summary report.
He sounds pretty logical, first one was obviously mad scientist and could be considered funny, the second one seemed to be just torture rape and mutilation porn.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:21, Reply)
From what I've read, I agree. I have no desire to see either.
The reviews I've read of both seem to come to the same conclusion anyway: they're shit. The second one particularly.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:23, Reply)
Pretty much, yes.
The first one was tongue in cheek, the second one not.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:24, Reply)
Surely you mean the first one was tongue in arse?

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:24, Reply)
I was waiting for that comment.
Claim your £5.00 please.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:27, Reply)
*Claims*

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:29, Reply)
You bloody dole scroungers will take anything won't you.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:31, Reply)
Ha.
I think my claim has finally been processed, fucking useless bastards.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:33, Reply)
So you will be the only one on here with cash in January?

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:37, Reply)
Possibly, yeah.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:41, Reply)
The last time I signed on it took about 4 months, and intervention by the CAB, to get any cash. Was all backdated though.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:45, Reply)
I'll bet it was because the guy processing your claim was a bit dusky.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:46, Reply)
This will be backdated, thankfully.
I've got another interview tomorrow, so hopefully I won't have to cross their bloody doorstep again for a while.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:47, Reply)

I have never been to a festival and I am too old now (and like my home comforts too much). However I like the sound of this one: www.beautifuldays.org/
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:00, Reply)
You should try, latitude, Lama Tree or Secret garden party

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:08, Reply)
You're never too old for festivals.
I'm an old git in my 40s, and still enjoy them.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:25, Reply)
Yeah, but you've also demonstrated that you're a racist moron, so I don't think we should use you as a yardstick for acceptable behaviour.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:30, Reply)
Bear Suarez?

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:35, Reply)
Bear "Terry" Suarez. And his real name is Norris Dobson.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:36, Reply)
haha!

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:37, Reply)
FFS, what's your problem?

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:36, Reply)
The fact that you start mouthing off in a way that was demonstrably racist, and then you sought to defend your views by saying "But my best friend/wife is black"

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:42, Reply)
I have equal disregard for Islam, Christianity Judaism, all of them.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:47, Reply)
I'm not going back over it again so you can try and justify your irrational predjudices

This is my line being drawn on this discussion, but please note I will continue to mock you for being a racist tool.

_______________________________________________________________
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:49, Reply)
Bestival looks good to me.
I'm a Glastonbury snob though so I'll wait until next year!
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:16, Reply)
full steam ahead for me!

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:26, Reply)
*mimes horn tooting gesture*

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:36, Reply)
I do that all the time.
but not just a gesture, I actually toot my horn.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:49, Reply)
Happy New Year all!
I'm currently watching Licence To Kill as it is the only Bond film I've not seen. I have about 1,000,000 tasks to catch up on with work and home stuff but meh, I'll do them when I can

Alt:
Pearl Jam gig at Manchester = win!
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:27, Reply)
Licence to Kill is generally derided, but I like it.
It's not really a Bond film in the sense of the rest of the movie franchise, but then you could say that the last two haven't really been either.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:28, Reply)
I also like the connections to Live and Let Die, both the book and the film.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:30, Reply)
I've only read one Bond book - Casino Royale
I just noticed it on ITV a few days ago and thought I'd take the opportunity
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:31, Reply)
The books are a very different beast to the films.
Moonraker, The Spy Who Loved Me and You Only Live Twice are nothing like their film counterparts.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:44, Reply)
Are you sure you're talking about Licence to Kill and not Never say Never Again?

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:31, Reply)
Yes.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:32, Reply)
Good good, just checking.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:33, Reply)
I'm referring to the fact
that the same actor plays Felix Leiter in both films, and the fate suffered by Leiter in Licence to kill is also meted out to him in the book of Live and Let Die. It's also the only time Leiter was played by the same actor in the original run of films.

I must get out more.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:35, Reply)
Excellent Bond knowledge

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:35, Reply)
I didn't know that either.
Davros can have a gold star
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:37, Reply)
Woo!.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:42, Reply)
dude, i know you ent got a job but for serious
get out once in a while, yeah?
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:37, Reply)
Get back to work you fucking slacker.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:44, Reply)
nah your alright mate

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:45, Reply)
Out of film canon, the two Dalton films work
very well. They're not particularly good when viewed with the others in the series though. I really love the Aston in The Living Daylights.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:45, Reply)
I really love the accidental nipple shot in The Living Daylights.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:52, Reply)
I want to like James Bond, I really do, but I find it so dull and tedious, the only one I've ever liked was Goldeneye, and that was only 'cus of the video game.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:40, Reply)
One shot one kill

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:41, Reply)
Got some odds and sods at work I need to do before Monday
so naturally I am on here doing none of them...
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:41, Reply)
Are you off work until Monday?

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:46, Reply)
No, I'm at work now
it's just vewy vewy quiet.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:46, Reply)
Are you hurting rabbits?
/biolab joke
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:48, Reply)
She's just making them look pretty with cosmetics.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:50, Reply)
Injecting them with proteins so that they make antibodies to them, actually
although that was in my last job, not this one.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:52, Reply)
I got rats stoned for my dissertation.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:54, Reply)
damn that rodent sharia law

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:54, Reply)
That's almost funny, well done!

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:55, Reply)
This is must surely be better than your dinosaur flid arms comment.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:55, Reply)
can i have a gold star as well plz?

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:58, Reply)
Okay, but only one.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:02, Reply)
I had to grow bacteria for mine
lots and lots of bacteria.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:55, Reply)
Did you use a petri dish or your vagina?

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:56, Reply)
She could have used some of your leftover food
... oh wait
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:57, Reply)
Yesterday I left a small bone from my lamb chop.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:02, Reply)
I used big flasks actually, as it happens.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:59, Reply)
There's your flatmate answer then.
She's obviously a science student and all the manky plates are coursework and not down to the fact that she's a hacky lazy skank.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:56, Reply)
...or she's just an abysmal cretin.
I prefer my answer.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:58, Reply)
What you said about that in your status
is pretty much every shared house I've ever stayed in unless there's some sort of washing up organisation.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:59, Reply)
There is a washing up organisation
me. I'm fucking sick of tidying up after people but I can't use the kitchen if it's already a horrendous mess.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:02, Reply)
My old trick is usually, "I'll cook a meal for us all if you wash up"
That sometimes works.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:06, Reply)
I bet you followed up with "hahaloljk" after they'd done the dishes though.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:08, Reply)
Yes, then I would explain to them at length how witty the whole event was.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:11, Reply)
I'd have paid money to watch that.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:13, Reply)
There's no shared area
we don't really socialise. And I'm fucked if I'm cooking a nice meal for those bloody wastrels just to get them to clean up after themselves.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:09, Reply)
It's all about the give and take,
cook them a nice meal get the bongos out and sit around a bonfire and talk about how you want to change the world with love.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:14, Reply)
Then one of them can show you how they can do that fire staff twirling thing

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:18, Reply)
I was taught to juggle right by this really spiritual guy, I think he was a Guru or Yogi,
I met him on this beach in Mali, he was from Surrey and we really connected, like on a spiritual level.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:21, Reply)
People you meet on beaches who can do circus skills are the deepest people there are.
Seriously, they just have a whole different outlook on life.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:22, Reply)
ha ha,
Totally, they're just on another level. They really SEE the world don't just watch it they SEEEEEE it!
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:28, Reply)
I do have bongos and poi, as it happens
still not cooking them dinner though.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:23, Reply)
Maybe you could just have a bongo session in your room?

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:26, Reply)
Food is a great social tool,
it's hard to say "fuck off I'm not doing a washing up rota" if someone gives you a nice bowl of something before.
Think about it as manipulating their primative instincts to get what you want rather than doing them a favour if that helps.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:27, Reply)
where the fuck is my new fancy iphone 4s please? courier swears blind it was delivered.
i like the big chill, it's got proper adult things like real toilets and showers, and really good food stalls. but don't buy the magic brownies. unless you want to sleep through everything for the next 12 hours.

also the iphone thing? it's urgent because somehow the mute button has stopped working on the old one. and i'm not sure my office wants to know every time i get a text. is there a way to fix it, short of turning it off, which is simply not an option??
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:47, Reply)
How about you immerse it in water?

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:50, Reply)
that's your solution to everything

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:51, Reply)
I think mine is "hit it with a shoe till it works"
Works for wine bottles and women.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:52, Reply)
and bikes?

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:59, Reply)
Yep!
And children. I've got new pieces for my bike :P
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:01, Reply)
you say this like it's a Good Thing
it's not
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:06, Reply)
marry me and i will solve all fo your problems

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:50, Reply)
you might want to lose the holiday weight before the big day tho, i don't want you spilling out of the wedding dress like a tube of toothpaste

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:52, Reply)
She'll be like one of those gypsy wedding dresses
only it won't be dress, it'll be rolls of lard.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:54, Reply)
i dun a sick in my mouth

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:55, Reply)
like your wife's shoulders and arms on your wedding day, you mean?
yeah, that IS a look to avoid.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:56, Reply)
You're a horrible person Swipe
Why would you attack someone you've never even communicated with in any way shape or form, just because you think it will get a rise out of me?
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:58, Reply)
Erm...
surely you could ask the same question of yourself whenever you've taken a pop at Swipe for her lovelife?
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:59, Reply)
yeah but she dates gays, berk
the GAYS
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:00, Reply)
Yeah, and this.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:01, Reply)
leave them alone you fucken HOMOPHOBE

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:02, Reply)
No, I'm a homophone, I just sound like a homophobe.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:03, Reply)
i thought the iphone 4s was a homo-phone

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:04, Reply)
Not really berk, you see I have been in fairly regular communication with Swipe for a number of years now.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:01, Reply)
Yeah, but you've never met any of her boyfriends
so why attack them when you've never communicated with them in any shape or form, just because you think it'll get a rise out of Swipe?
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:04, Reply)
haha
(real laughter, not an overly loud fake nervous boom)
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:06, Reply)
dood you were totally pwnd by rachelswipe, i'd pack my things and go home if i were you
don't bother coming into work tomorrow
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:59, Reply)
so are you saying
that you have never commented negatively about anyone that you have never communicated with - no politicians, no celebs, nobody's fb friends, nobody on here that you don't liaise with directly... gimme an "H", gimme a "Y", gimme a "P"...
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:03, Reply)
i'll give you a P

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:05, Reply)
since you keep taking it anyway

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:11, Reply)
Get a better phone?

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:51, Reply)
i have
the courier has clearly stolen it :(
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Turn it down?

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Can't you just turn the volume all the way down? Does that not have the same effect?

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:52, Reply)
Wait, no it doesn't, there's still one bar left if you try to turn it down.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:53, Reply)
i tried turning it down once
and it damn near bit my cock off
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:54, Reply)
I dunno what putting it on airline mode does, that might work.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:54, Reply)
I think that just turns off the phone signal

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:55, Reply)
Moving the phone even slightly seems to turn off the fucking signal.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:57, Reply)
What I'm trying to say here is that I already have a 4s so fuck your problems.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:56, Reply)
haha!

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:57, Reply)
thieving fucker
gimme my 4s
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:04, Reply)
it has helped a lot though
more of this kind of thing. practical, sensible, not fucking-your-sister-related solutions.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:54, Reply)
Turning the volume down in settings does the same thing, but will play your ringtone even if you have it on silent. Which is fun when you're at work and shouldn't be pissing around with your phone.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:58, Reply)
holding down the hash key usually activates silent mode

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:01, Reply)
*Holds down Quentin's hash key*

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:03, Reply)
I hereby award my first click of 2012 to DG

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:03, Reply)
i'm not a mobile phone
silly DG been so unemployed long he forgot people not electric
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:05, Reply)
That's a question Gary Numan has been asking since 1979.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:05, Reply)
thats not a question either
serious, press stop on the bond DVDs and go out for a stroll, you might enjoy it
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:07, Reply)
I'll be going for a walk later, to scrounge your not so hard earned taxes.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:10, Reply)
GLADE PLUG IN, SEXUALLY ACTIVE FRESH

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:11, Reply)
Stop opressing her with your logic and sensible answers.
Quick, pander to her about her breasts or she'll get upset.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:54, Reply)
I see your bile duct is working fine today Al

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:55, Reply)
his new years resolution is probably to impregnate the missus
shudder
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:56, Reply)
No, my new years resolution is to be nicer to people on the internet.
May I say that you're looking rather tidy today Sportscow.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:57, Reply)
haha!
Now I KNOW you are lying!

I have had a successful Christmas in that I have managed to put on over a stone
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:58, Reply)
I can help
Go to settings, sounds, text tone and set to none.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:03, Reply)
this is even better
i bet you don't even own a sister
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:04, Reply)
I do, she is currently residing in Brighton

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:07, Reply)
seriously, hash key, hold it down and it'll activate silent mode
i'm being helpful
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:08, Reply)
See now, I was going to test that out but I didn't want my fat thumbs to slip up and blast out Arrested Development soundclips to the rest of the shop.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:09, Reply)
Mr Wendel lolz

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:43, Reply)
My 4s will be arriving today :p

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:10, Reply)
Alt: I am hoping there will be a Hawkfest this year.
I'd like to take my kid. This will not happen

PS Morning, all.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:29, Reply)
Morning

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:30, Reply)
Lusty and I were talking about you.
Come to London for a curry you ghastly man.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:40, Reply)
DON'T DO IT SPORTERS, IT'S A TRAP!!!

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:43, Reply)
How's your arse you silly twat?

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:44, Reply)
Still bruised.
I certainly came a cropper several times over the new year.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:45, Reply)
I shall endeavour to get down there over the next few months

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:51, Reply)
Morning Monty
How are you? Are you better now after your terrible rep christmas illness?
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:32, Reply)
My what?

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:39, Reply)
Sorry, that should have been "pre christmas"

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:40, Reply)
Ah I see.
I am fine and dandy, thank you. I had the whole of Xmas off and I never get that, so I am rested and well for a fucking change.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:42, Reply)

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