Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Stupid AchievementsWhat daft things have you done that you are stupidly proud of for no sensible reason? Last night I was playing on a football management game on my phone and won 10-0 in the semi-final of the FA cup. This pleases me far more than it should
Alt:
STRESS! What do you do to cope?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:43,
176 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
Reproduceting, really it was only two minutes of workAlt: Punch horses in their stupid long fuck faces!
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:43,
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...and that included undressing!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:46,
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+ up the shit pipein the library, with a lead pipe
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:47,
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Her trepanning does work after all then?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:50,
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Unfortunately, the hole had to be so big that she's not much of a conversationalist any more.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:51, Reply)
You say this like it is a bad thing(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:51,
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Trepanning is believed to provide a permanent feeling of bliss.Not sure if this is still true if Stunned is skull-fucking you.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:25,
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hahahaha!Until you get earwax on your bell-end
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:31,
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Whenever I get something I throwon target. You know, like a cigarette packet in the bin.
I think it's the greatest thing ever.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:48, Reply)
I bet you can throw a peanut in the air and catch it in your mouth too.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:50,
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Yes. Tbh, I can throw a potato in the air and catch it in my mouth.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:52, Reply)
People have had long careers on the stage for achieving less.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:53,
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*strikethrough changing peanut to penis*(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:53,
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You can be allergic to peanuts, but not penis./Darth.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:55,
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He does get frequent friction burns though(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:57,
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Hence the lip biting.It all makes sense now.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:59,
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Prophylactic shock, more like"I'm not putting THAT up THERE without THAT"
*points*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:46,
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With you on this one Mr CowBeating Chelsea 5-0 with Aldershot Town on FIFA11 was the highlight of my October.
Alt: stupidly, I bite the skin off my lips. I say "my", they really belong to whichever hooker I'm renting at the time. Not enough fish in my diet living with a veggie.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:54, Reply)
No fish either? That's a bit grim. Next time you come to the smoke without the Mrs, we will go to Roast.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:56, Reply)
Well, meat's expensive these days, and saliva and phlegm are rich in proteins and enzymes...(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:37, Reply)
Well, given the current fad for restaurants that make their name by selling weird shit- the place that flogs breast-milk ice-cream, for example - I think it's only a matter of time before somewhere starts serving bodily fluids at a stupidly extortionate price. Sod it, let's open one ourselves - we can call it Spit & Spunk.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:43, Reply)
Spitz and SwallowsYou could get legendary swimmer Mark to open it via the medium of a public dangerwank onto the ribbon
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:45,
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I like this idea.We could impregnate the middle of the ribbon with a suitable agar jelly and several human ova, so that his cock custard would, if aimed correctly, fertilise some of the ova, which would hopefully begin to grow into sufficiently large foetuses that they would burst the seams of the ribbon and thus cause it to part, in possibly the longest and most pointless opening ceremony in memorable history.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:56, Reply)
You have thought about this FAR too much"We open in 9 months"
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:57,
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Actually, when you posted the above, the idea just came to me...(No pun intended.)
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Nah I actually eat loads of fish, that was for the purposes of a jokeI appreciate the offer though!
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I shall post the screenshot onto facebook for all the world to seehow sad and pathetic I am
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:57,
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Were you playingForest in the semi final?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:57,
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CourseIt would have only been 4-0 if you were playing Forest.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:00,
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Doesn't EVERYONE beat them?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:01,
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Get bent DogFucker, if that is indeed your real nameYour lot couldn't even beat Forest at home, you must be shit
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:02, Reply)
I mooned some friends, and a couple of strangers, for the first time ever at new year.I'm chuffed to bits.
Alt: I drink.
Edit: actually I shout at everyone when I'm stressed and drink when I'm lonely.
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girlinthehole, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:02,
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I really need to calm the fuck down at the minuteBut ideally not via the medium of booze
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:07,
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Meditation is quite good.Sit quietly in a room and clear your mind. Simple but effective.
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girlinthehole, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:08,
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A quiet room?I have two kids!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:09,
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They say that getting kids to meditate is good for them.Or was it medicate?
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:12,
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They dont like the taste of vodka(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:21,
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Excercise is also a good way of relieving stress.Sex too.
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girlinthehole, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:12,
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To repeat:I have two kids
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:14,
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I have actually applied for the North Tyneside 10K(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:18,
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You greedy bugger.That's their entire social services budget.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:21,
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with kids?with your own kids?
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:17,
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I have one step-daughter and two kids of my ownI have not fucked any of them
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:20,
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You don't want to fuck your own kids, that's all kinds of wrong.But is the step daughter fit?
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:21, Reply)
Ask DarthHe perved on her photos on facebook
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:22,
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link pleaseYou don't have to worry about posting pictures against sportscows wishes, he's not a nice chap so fuck him.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:29, Reply)
I actually feel bad enough about my very brief post above, so noSporters is a top chap, as well you know
Check your FB inbox
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:32, Reply)
Oh yeah, sporto is easily the nastiest person on here.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:32,
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There's a guy on qotw who went boasting about getting the full family set that way, a bit predatory really, still if Cow spreads his muck that way without being caught who am I to judge(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:21,
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Why the fuck would you boast about that?Is Woody Allen a b3tan?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:22,
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He still posts on occasion, the general consensus was well done you mate phoowaarrr Qotw really doesn't help itself with it's reputation
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:25,
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A lad in my school was forced to fuck his sister by a load of older pupilsWe didn't at all take the piss out of him for it
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:33,
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It might have been a lie but it was urban legend in our schooland he never denied it
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:36,
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Hahahahaha. I'm with you, Al.
"Go on, fuck your sister or you'll get a kicking! And you better fuck her GOOD!"
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:37, Reply)
As I understand it, basically yesI'd honestly forgotten about it until now. I appreciate it sounds like complete bullshit
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:43,
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That may be the ideal, but the reality is that a drunk daddy is the best they can hope for.(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:16, Reply)
Ah fucken love you mann*pukes*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:17,
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Alt: In the good old days* I would have a joint.Not only would this have a chemical calming effect, it would also give me sufficient time** to ruminate on whatever might be stressing me, decide it wasn't that bad after all and get over it.
*Last year.
**About 10 minutes.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:20,
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depends what i am stressed aboutif it's work, generally do everything at 100mph, make lists and frantically cross things out, skip food all day, mainline diet coke, kick the trainee around the office a LOT.
if it's outside work, skip food, mainline diet coke, give up sleeping, call my friends.
so basically, rather manically.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:24,
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Relax, bird. Have a can of Lilt.
No need to get stressed about WORK. Get stressed about somebody standing too close on the tube, about not indicating when they are driving in front of you. Stuff that matters.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:28, Reply)
wowwww.willpearson.co.uk/virtual-tour/shard-360-dusk/
LOVING this, what amazing photography!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:36,
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the flat or the photography?!i know, i am loving it. and the zoom feature... phenomenal.
i have found my office.
then i realised i was sitting in it. which made me do a :(
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:23,
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I play a basic online wargameat www.conquerorgame.com - last week I played against 6 AI opponents and took all their capitals within 75 minutes.
I was both proud and then depressed at how pointless it was. I'd play against humans but they're not stupid and they hold a grudge, unlike the computer players.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:28,
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An hour in an evening? Your schedule must be PACKED.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:33,
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That booze isn't going to go out and drink itself(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:34,
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An hour? What between cleaning, washing and cooking the dinner, I haven't got 5 minutes.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:35, Reply)
Sounds like the perfect arrangement.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:40,
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I'm marriedand I can categorically state that it is not. But I think you knew that, Trotter.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:39,
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You know how at the momentMrs Foxtrot makes you basically do what she says and in return she occasionally lets you have sex with her?
Well it's a bit like that, only without the sex.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:47,
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*makes joke about wife dying and washing up piling up*But the sex is the same.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:55, Reply)
Good job she's not fussed about marriage thenYou forget that her main purpose is to make me look straight. Well, straighter.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:54, Reply)
I have a cleanercooking dinner takes 30 minutes at best, assuming it's not takeaway or something prepared earlier and frozen.
Laundry twice a week.
*shrug* Plenty of free time.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:46,
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Linky time:www.wired.com/wiredscience/2012/01/evolution-of-multicellularity/
I for one welcome our beer-based overlords. The comments are a hilarious mix of trolls, douchebags, idiots and fanatics. Like /talk but with more Christianity.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:31,
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I particularly enjoy the religious types that believe quoting a section of a novelin which somebody *says* God did it, forms a cogent argument against actual proof.
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Kroney, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:56,
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Their entire belief is based on a fucking novelAlbeit a very old one. Just because ideas are tenacious doesn't make them worthy.
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This is what they conveniently forget. The Bible is not God's word.It's a collection of parables written by a bunch of men who claim God told them to do it, interspersed with stories about their cult leader.
It is, in the parlance of the board, fucking bent. No car chases. NOTHING.
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Kroney, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:03,
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Remix it with Bullitt and I'm in(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:05,
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More interestingly it's a translation of a translationwith all the errors that implies. There are also huge hinking great things, like the devil, which barely exist in the book but form a huge part of Christian dogma. And don't get me started on all the stuff that is in the book that no Christian bothers to follow....
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:06,
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Love thy neighbour, thou shalt not kill, it is easier for a camel to pas through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven...(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:43,
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I have on display at home 3 hockey related trophies that I got for turning up at some ice hockey maches/tourniments.... yes, for just turning up. on the sub's bench.But they're the only ones I've ever got, god damn it.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:00,
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You should take your hockey stickto the oiks playing their "tunes" outside your flat.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:10, Reply)
Gonz has reminded me.I'm still quite proud of coming 2nd in an egg and spoon race when I was about 6 or 7. It's the best I've ever done at anything sporting. it's a shame I don't still have the ribbon, I wonder if my mum has it.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:08,
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Good pointI came 3rd in a go-karting competition that my brother's work organised, about 18 people. In the final I made my position by brutally crashing into the manager nobody liked. I got a trophy and everything.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:22,
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Actually passing my driving test first go in my late thirties was quite a biggie.(
girlinthehole, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:10,
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Everyone knows that the best drivers pass 2nd time round BlousieSorry to be the bearer, etc.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:18, Reply)
"Can I park this please, madam?""You've .........ARGHHHHH!!!! .... passed"
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:32,
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Recently it was doing the wonder tower final section on batman undetected. Alt: silence, just try and have a few minutes in silence to chill out.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:10,
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i'm really proud of everything i do, i'm just one of those lucky people who is successful at almost everything i trySTRESS? I like to drink tea and talk about my feelings until it gets better
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:12, Reply)
Some people are rolling out actual achievements that they have every right to be proud ofFor this perfect excuse to bring up TWL, I thank them
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:14, Reply)
this isn't the first time you've been sandwiched between two Quentins I'll betlol
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:14, Reply)
TWL, in this context, stands for The Weakest Linkwhich I cannot usually be bothered to type in full. I was on the show just under a year ago.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:39, Reply)
you won the weakest link?how much did you get? it annoys me that they hardly ever got much more than a grand
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:41, Reply)
£2,610I spunked it all on fast cars and faster women*
*two manky hookers (and a racist dwarf) in a second-hand Lancia
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:43, Reply)
Alright Darth, what's wrong with the new haircut and colouring man?(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:47,
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I was referring to 'picturegate' earlier, that got deleted, but you've got like fifty profile pictures, what gives man?I know that shirt was like a pajama top but jeez
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:52,
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His face is his fortuneYou may not infringe his copyright.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:58,
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He's obviously a member of the Norwich Glitterati, more accustomed to being photographed outside 'Rawkus' for the central socialite spread in the 'Norwich Advertiser'(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 15:01,
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Simple reallyI posted that on my FB profile and not b3ta on the basis of not wanting to feed the trolls. When Al posted it on here you both did an excellent job of vindicating my original decision.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 15:00, Reply)
but you look just as queer in all your profile pictures too?it make-a no sense-a to me-a
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 15:01, Reply)
I am team captain of the winners of our local pub quiz annual cup night - for the 3rd year runningPlus I am our cricket club's Batsman of the Year, and Players' Player of the Year.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:16, Reply)
Who got Robin of the year?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:32,
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