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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Come on then what are your weekend plans?
and I don't want to hear about Skyrim marathons, online shooting games or other house whale activity.

Alt: portmanteaus or words that you use, I sometimes describe the weather as 'griserable' ie grey and miserable
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:30, 243 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Pub Christmas dinner Sunday!
Also studying/drinking/getting hair cut
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:33, Reply)
what are you studying Roots?
i have the same problem as you with regards to need ing a new house, but that means maybe a new job as well
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:35, Reply)
Oh just crappy Access for my ECDL exam. Never used it or looked at it.
Oh man, jobhunting is so poo.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:43, Reply)
Let me know if you need any help

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:50, Reply)
I wish you could sit the fucking exam for me.
Everything other module has either been piss-easy or I've learnt actual useful things. I cannot see the point of Access at the moment. I just keep answering the test questions with "Use Excel because it's easier?"
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:53, Reply)
Excel is only good until you get about 10,000 cells
then it becomes shit.

It's generally a better way to sort things, but it's very different. I think the problem is that the ECDL stuff isn't deep enough to understand the point of access.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:58, Reply)
yeah, fucking, fucking, 'Parrots sold' bullshit

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:02, Reply)
Reminds me of the hotel I was living at in Sheffield ages ago.
About this time of January, they had their Christmas Dinner too. They shut down the hotel for everyone except me and a colleague who were living there. We got invited to the party, and were allowed to serve behind the bar. Fab do it was too.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:36, Reply)
We've had it in March before now.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:44, Reply)
Sounds like an early Easter party.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:48, Reply)
I'm going out.
There's drizzle.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:33, Reply)
Sympathy reply

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:33, Reply)
no need smartarse

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:36, Reply)
Never mind, I didn't want you to feel rejected or nowt.
I'm going to a quiz at the village hall on Saturday. I expect to come second again. We never get a team that knows anything about popular culture.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:37, Reply)
Village hall FTW, will there be tea and scones?

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:38, Reply)
No, Buffet, lots of wine and questions.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:40, Reply)
"why are you under the tabel with all the wine?"
"who ARE you?"
"What are you doing with my daughter?"

about right?
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:41, Reply)
I wish the questions were like this, as I would be enjoying myself more than I expected.
I want to be drunk enough to walk into a tree.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:44, Reply)
Alt: gunt
Grumble and grunt. Mockney innit.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:33, Reply)
Gunt is in the Macc Lads songs for cunt

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:35, Reply)
It's a filthy word.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:43, Reply)
It certainly is lad
How is the boozing going? I've just had two pints of Peroni and fuck did I need it
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:47, Reply)
gunt is the bit of flab that pokes out between the gut and the cunt

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:42, Reply)
lolzers

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:42, Reply)
I shall be working and on standby
Hurrah............

Alt:
Spong is an acceptable non-sweary insult in the Sportshousehold
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:34, Reply)
*turns sportscow off at the plug*

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:35, Reply)
I think this might help
Cheers
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:36, Reply)
Oh I thought it was a life support machine...

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:36, Reply)
*now gets it*
I've work too much this week
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:39, Reply)
I know, i feel for you sporters, although i could really do with some extra cash at the moment so the ability to work overtime would be useful

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:40, Reply)
I have done 4 14 hours days so far this week, am working tonight and the weekend
I had to ask Finance what to do when you fill up all the slots in the overtime claim form
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:41, Reply)
Jeez, mate.
What about the family?
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:44, Reply)
They cost too much fucking money, hence the overtime
We spent too much over Christmas, have booked a holiday and it was my daughter's fifth birthday. The bank account needs to catch up
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:46, Reply)
Fair play!
*non-child bloke*
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:55, Reply)
In an hour and a half I'm getting my hair dyed, it will almost certainly end in tears.
Then I'm locking myself away in the library because the 3000 word essay I thought was due in for next Friday is actually in for Monday. I should have probably started by now.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:37, Reply)
Your hair will look shit, just sayin like

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:37, Reply)
Leave it until Sunday night, or even first thing Monday.
You'll be fresh then.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:39, Reply)
I had hair about 2' long, dark brown and curly
and went to about a number 6 cut and blonde one Saturday afternoon
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:40, Reply)
At least I know I'm following in the path of someone older and wiser.
So I'm sure it'll look amazing now. Plus now I have someone to blame when my mum disowns me. "Sportscow did it mum, that's the only reason why I did".
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:43, Reply)
Blame me
Good plan. I did it whilst working overtime on a Saturday. Spoke to one of the lads beforehand

"What are you doing at lunchtime"
"Cutting all my hair off and dyeing it blond"
"Oh"
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:44, Reply)
Hahaha.
I'm getting it done cos I got all my loans and grants through yesterday, rich people get wacky haircuts so I've got to join the club. I'm also on the hunt for the biggest, blackest brass in Newcastle to come round and play Fifa with us for an hour. £120 is the going rate which I think is a bargain.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:49, Reply)
hahahaha!
Do it!
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:50, Reply)
Me and my housemates have been looking online for ages.
We haven't found anyone nearly big or black enough yet.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:52, Reply)
What's a brass?

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:51, Reply)
Lady of the night.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:52, Reply)
Although in my school it meant a 'brassy' hard common girl who would beat you up and get fingered and that

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:54, Reply)
50% of the way there then

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:55, Reply)
Also, this is the nicest thing anyone has said to me on here
*sobs*
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:45, Reply)
I consider you my fun loving wacky North East uncle.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:51, Reply)
I shall change my sig in honour

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:53, Reply)
Done

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:55, Reply)
You're getting it professionally dyed?
you're such a Darth
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:43, Reply)
haha!
Nicely done
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:43, Reply)
I don't get people who say 3000 words as a rediculously large amount for an essay.
Isn't that like 4-5 pages of A4, on a subject you know and love?
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:44, Reply)
Also dude, you know when you were talking about Newcastle the other day, I didn't get it.
So you live in london and go Newcastle uni?
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:44, Reply)
That's the sort of essay the police make you write, and then sign.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:46, Reply)
Your hair's dead dark. Hope it don't go orange like one of those dusters,

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:51, Reply)
I'm going to go to the pub tonight for a friends DJ night
leave as soon as is polite go home and arse around on the internet play Kerbal Space Programe and drink lemsip.

Saturday and sunday will be spent moaning about having a cold to anyone that will listen.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:40, Reply)
*stops listening*
what music does he play?
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:42, Reply)
They play... you know stuff.
I pop rock sort of thing, fairly non offensive.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:43, Reply)
Will be spent with wife and baby, hopefully with some "me time"*
*pub, beer, kindle, peace and quiet.

I dislike portmanteaus and try to avoid them.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:40, Reply)
metoo

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:41, Reply)
ha ha
or haha
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:42, Reply)
leave battered's wife and kids alone

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:43, Reply)
Pub, beer, peace and quite sounds fucking amazing

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:42, Reply)
My washing machine comes tomo, I want to catch up on a bunch of work that I've kindda left to the side too.
I might take a wonder around the town, see if a friend wants to hook up, you know, generally take it easy.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:46, Reply)
I shall be dog walking, gym nonsence and filling the rest of my weekend with faffing about.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:49, Reply)
Travel.
I'm headed to Seattle on work, and will likely be spending the weekend driving about. Then I spend the next week or so driving down the Pacific Coast.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:52, Reply)
Oh fuck...
Here we go
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:53, Reply)
: )
*keeps schtum*
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:54, Reply)
safe

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:02, Reply)
haha

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:54, Reply)
I'm finding it difficult to resist...

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:58, Reply)
Not getting any easier

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:00, Reply)
Lol

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:00, Reply)
*counts to ten*

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:01, Reply)
hahaha

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:02, Reply)
Not sure how much longer I can last

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:02, Reply)
like those kids with tourettes who got taken on a trip to America and every time some people went past one shouted "TWIN TOWERS" then clamped his mouth shut

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:04, Reply)
I saw one that couldn't help shouting "nigger" everytime they saw a black person...
These people need to be snuck into Question Time
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:05, Reply)
Aw there was a kid with the same thing when we went to see Michael Jackson when i was a kid
As soon as Junior Giscombe came on to do his duet with Kim Wilde...
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:08, Reply)
*sits on hands*

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:03, Reply)
*sits on face*

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:08, Reply)
ha ha ha

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:11, Reply)
*mmmMMMMMPPPfFFffffFFFPPPPMMMMMMMMMM*

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:11, Reply)
*spluffs*

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:11, Reply)
Putting it there briefly was enough to sate me.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:12, Reply)

Glad you got it out of your system.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:14, Reply)
Is that a tactic your wife suggests? You know the one with the qualifications?

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:23, Reply)
Ha ha

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:25, Reply)
Does his wife have qualifications?
I've never seen him mention it. He must be terribly proud.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:30, Reply)
I'm just waiting for my gaz now. The Internet never forgets!
She must be a qualified carer to put up with that douche.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:32, Reply)
No.
But I am curious as to why you lot are annoyed with me, when I didn't post anything in here inflammatory. I had an exchange elsewhere with BGB and Fluffer. So what's your problem?
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:33, Reply)
*FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT*

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:34, Reply)
Put down your wife's textbook and stop using rationale and logic on the Internet.
Don't you know where you are?
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:36, Reply)
Not you nakkers I spacked up the reply innit

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:37, Reply)
mnnnnnnnng

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:38, Reply)
Is that an open question? Or only aimed The Bobster?

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:36, Reply)
iT'S AN OPEN QUESTION, ANSWER AT WILL

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:37, Reply)
Who the fuck is Will?

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:37, Reply)
In which case:
My problem is Dyslexia, depression and possibly borderline personality disorder. *looks proud*
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:40, Reply)
You forgot your un-natural obsession with biscuits.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:46, Reply)
Pretty much an open question.
I haven't said anything nasty to anyone in here, or posted anything offensive. I had an exchange with Shambo which he chose to post publicly in here, and had words with BGB when she was unpleasant to me.

So why so pissy?
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:39, Reply)
If it's any help, I don't give a shit about any of this rubbish.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:39, Reply)
me neither, I'm just hoping for a meltdown soomewhere

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:42, Reply)
Meh, seen it all before,
it'll be shit.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:46, Reply)
but without hope, what do we have left?

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:46, Reply)
Pun threads

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:47, Reply)
Pear would we be without them?

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:55, Reply)
that was apple-ing

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 15:15, Reply)
Chompy you are my second favourite b3tan

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:47, Reply)
Cheers toots
Seen The Artist yet?
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:50, Reply)
Fucking right I have
It's more boss than I thought it would be.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:50, Reply)
I'm tempted to see it actually
even though I said it would be shit.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:52, Reply)
What have you got to lose? £7.50 that's what.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:53, Reply)
Or less on Orange wednesdays!
I might go next week. I'll let you know my opinion!
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:54, Reply)
That's when i went.
And then Uncle Nicky didn't give me my [half of £7.50]
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:57, Reply)
Theiving scum!

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 15:02, Reply)
he now says he'll pay for War Horse because he wants to have a cry
and nobody else will go and cry with him
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 15:06, Reply)
He's shit.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:51, Reply)
But he's OUR shit, ok!

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:53, Reply)
He was my shit first.
I made him the shit he is today.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:54, Reply)
I thank you, humbly I do.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:56, Reply)
Can you validate me with a number please?

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:56, Reply)
I haven't thought about it
I'll base it on our interaction from here onwards
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 15:05, Reply)
You are lookin' dead hot today

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 15:06, Reply)
I know!
it's these jeans.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 15:07, Reply)
Unfurl your eyebrows a bit. OK?
Now raise your heavy eyes.
Bit more. Tiny bit more. Sweet.
See that thing there? It's the address bar. See what it says? www.b3ta.com
It's an irreverent website predominately peopled by sarcastic English nerds.

Hope this helps. xxx
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:41, Reply)
I'm not pissy.
:P
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:42, Reply)
You smell pissy though.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:45, Reply)
that's because he is a filty socialist

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:46, Reply)
Fuck off marketing-wanker.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:47, Reply)
I was just about to say that we could be friends again

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:55, Reply)
"again"?
Oh how we flatter our selves Mr Capitalist Pig.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 15:02, Reply)
You have a cold ,cold heart for a socialist
and sometimes your words, they hurt
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 15:04, Reply)
You sound like Quentin.
One must be ruthless with the Enemies of The Revolution
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 15:05, Reply)
*facepalms*

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:36, Reply)

I thought you had me on Ignore.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:40, Reply)
I thought she had you on the kitchen table?

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:41, Reply)
I said I was ignoring you, not have you on ignore.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:42, Reply)
Ah.
That's all I ask, really. As I've been not engaging with you in anything. I see no reason for hostility between us.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:46, Reply)
ENGAGINGLOLZ

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:49, Reply)
Oh no. Absolutetly no reason for hostility between us at all.
Idiot.

Soz Roota but he's on my turf.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:51, Reply)
You are a pair of fuckwits.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:53, Reply)
also 'turf'!

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:54, Reply)
I need details!

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:54, Reply)
They went out. He dumped her.
A while after, he met someone he didn't want to dump.
She has a very good job.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:55, Reply)
Lol!
I'm off home in a bit. I'll leave shambles to him.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:57, Reply)
Hasta luego chica

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:59, Reply)
He has mushrooms growing on his cock

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:56, Reply)
And he left skiddy boxies on her kitchen table

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:58, Reply)
and they weren't even *his* skiddy boxers.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 15:00, Reply)
Turf? Really?

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:55, Reply)
Yeah and my dads bigger than your dad.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 15:00, Reply)
Hi dad's dead you rotten bully!

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 15:01, Reply)
Do you have aspergers?

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:52, Reply)
full spectrum autistic-AIDS

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:54, Reply)
I've rarely seen such a dazzling lack of self awareness.
I feel like a terrible bully everytime I say anything to him knowing it's just going to float right over his head.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:55, Reply)
Awwww. Bubba. Don't take it personally.
It's not your fault that you're a pompous dick who has to rely on his wife's degree to compensate for his own failings. On the internet.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:37, Reply)
My wife has a better degree than me, can you all respect me more now please?

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:41, Reply)
Well I can't speak for everybody.
But I certainly couldn't respect you any less.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:42, Reply)
this is good to know

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:43, Reply)
Whatever, Fluffer.
I'm not the douche who posts private exchanges. I'd say that was more desperation on your part than anything else.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:42, Reply)
Yeah. You've got me there.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:44, Reply)
Why'd you call him fluffer?

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:44, Reply)
To make me cry. The horrid bully.
*sob sob sob*

(I'm not even sure what it means ... isn't that what they call the people who suck dick out of shot on porno sets?)
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:46, Reply)
Yes, or pet rabbits.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:46, Reply)
Why would you suck the dick of a pet rabbit?
Are you some sort of sick pervert?
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:47, Reply)
It has been claimed.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:51, Reply)
yes...they get the actors "ready"

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:47, Reply)
I'm not quite sure why uncle pomposity thinks that would be an insult or a nickname.
Is it an American thing?
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:51, Reply)

Because that's his nickname at work, or so I'm told.

www.b3ta.com/questions/messingwithheads/post1502472
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:47, Reply)
You're almost as proud of that as you are of your wife's qualification, aren't you?
Bless your socks.

Assuming you can afford socks on the pocket money she gives you.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:49, Reply)
No, but I do find it amusing.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:51, Reply)
You appear to be the only one.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:52, Reply)
May I just say,
At the start of this little exchange I liked Dr. Sham less than you, as it goes on I'm reversing my opinions.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:53, Reply)
Gay.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:54, Reply)
I didn't say I liked you any better cock-end
but you are succeeding in making him look bad.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:57, Reply)
Bully.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 15:02, Reply)
Aye, that'll be me.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 15:03, Reply)
what did you put up, cannae see pictures at work

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:22, Reply)
More than likely completing an on line assessment as part of a job application.
I could start it now, but it's 75 minutes and I've had a quick look at the example paper and really haven't the appetite for it at the moment. Plus the boy will be in from school shortly and really I need peace and quiet to do it.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:58, Reply)
It's not all fun and games on the dole is it petal.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:00, Reply)
Certainly isn't.
I spent all afternoon yesterday on the actual application, then had to redo it as the fecking site logged me out. Nowhere did it mention anything about automatic timeouts.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:02, Reply)
What you need is a trip away to West Yorkshire : )

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:09, Reply)
I know.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:15, Reply)
I'm going to London to see Billy Elliot with my Mum and sister
Has that been mentioned already?
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 13:58, Reply)
You gay bastard.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:00, Reply)
Is he a relative?

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:01, Reply)
I am the only dancer in my family
The pink sheep, if you will
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:02, Reply)
I love you Darth.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:03, Reply)
Yay!
+2 neediness fulfilment XP
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:04, Reply)
He's Mine bitch!
Unless he's ditched me for my love of ICP.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:07, Reply)
My homosexual cliché alarm just went bing.
Actually ... it went bing BING bing bing BING! to the tune of I am what I am
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:19, Reply)
I was thinking
Charliebeercunt. The names of my first 3 children.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:00, Reply)
I thought Monty was your first'child'?

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:04, Reply)
I think we may have been separated at birth.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:09, Reply)
Certainly narrows the field of blame down

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:13, Reply)
Bitch mother.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:16, Reply)
I'm going to see a French, black and white, silent film on Saturday.
No explosions of nuffink, look how kultered I am.

On Sunday I shall be going on one of the London Walks, this one's about Subterainian London, except it all seems to be above ground, so that should be cool, if a little odd.

ALt: I dunno, does Cock-monkey count?
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:03, Reply)
It only counts as being cultured if it's a scarcely-known film only playing on three tiny screens in the whole country
When it's being tipped as the frontrunner for the Best Picture Oscar and has a huge publicity machine behind it, that's just going to the cinema.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:08, Reply)
I'm going to a nice 'independent' cinema where you can drink beer while watching the film, does this help?

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:13, Reply)
Massively yes, actually
Don'y overdo the beer or you'll break the seal too early and keep having to pop to the pisser during the film
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:16, Reply)
good plan, he should drink shots of Tequila instead

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:18, Reply)
I may not partake.
2PM on a Saturday seems a little early, but we shall see how the mood takes me.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:26, Reply)
Anytime before 11am would be a little early, 2pm is positively tardy

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:28, Reply)
Fair point.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:30, Reply)
Are you going to sit there silently and knock one out?

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:11, Reply)
I doubt it, I prefer my popcorn sweet, rather than salty.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:14, Reply)
And how do you know it's French if no one is speaking?

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:15, Reply)
GOOD QUESTION!

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:17, Reply)
THE SMELL

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:17, Reply)
I had wondered about that I shall report back to you on this.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:24, Reply)
So that is why the floor is sticky

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:14, Reply)
It's not a Foxtrot original
But I do love the word used to describe the area of stomach sitting prominently in high waisted trousers on a middle-aged woman - the "gunt"
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:05, Reply)
Alt
Intercunts... People who use the internet.

But the missus uses Mizzle (mist and drizzle) She is the nice one I am just a flunky, with my hunched back and warts
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:06, Reply)
And clap.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:11, Reply)
Ok I have clapped
And now people are looking at me funny...
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:15, Reply)

Ok I have clapped
And now

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:17, Reply)
I should really move away
from the school gates
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:24, Reply)
"Dankers"
Abridgement of "dance wankers". Used to describe anyone who claims to be a dancer because they do Salsa, which is not a dance. It's a condiment.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:11, Reply)
Alt: spasticaped
To describe an internet user who is a spastic.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:13, Reply)
A disproportionate amount of reading for a shitty little uni assignment.
Playing badminton on Sunday. Can't be that hard can it?
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:26, Reply)
Depends how fit you are.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:29, Reply)
Not very! Hence starting badminton. Lost loads of weight but still wheezy like Sunday morning.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:33, Reply)
Go for squash instead.
You can play mediocre badminton without working up a proper sweat.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:39, Reply)
I'll work up to squash

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 15:04, Reply)
Its just tennis
for the weak of wrist
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:29, Reply)
Is that a eupahism?

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:30, Reply)
Is that a neologism?

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:31, Reply)
Ha Ha!
You said Jizm!

Well almost.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:32, Reply)
*snigger*

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:33, Reply)
Racist.

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:36, Reply)
snurk

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:38, Reply)
feeding my brother's cats
While he's enjoying himself in Amschterdam, the bastard.

Possibly meeting up with some mates for drinks but not too many as I have to be up Sunday morning to feed them also. Woe is me.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 14:41, Reply)
they're cats.
they couldn't give two short fucks when you feed them. Get twatted and feed them later.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 15:08, Reply)
simply find some road kill and push it through the cat flap for them

(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 15:09, Reply)
good plan
Or I can simply kill the weakest and fattest tonight and the other two will be fine until Monday.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 15:19, Reply)
if you don't want to hear about my Skyrim marathon
Or, my plan to turn my house into a whale, then I guess, its a bit of work and some study. Probably a bottle of sparkles at some point.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:45, Reply)

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