Oooh it's back.
Thank fuck for that, now I'm off out to get injected.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:01, 126 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

With drugs?

( Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:02, Reply)

with a poison

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:02, Reply)

I hope he's paying for it privately
I fucking hate the couple down my road who get all their poison injections done on the NHS.
( Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:04, Reply)

It's 'cos they earn under 26K a year

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:05, Reply)

All my injections are free.
Suck on that, tax payers.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:06, Reply)

Twenty years old that track.
Now how old do you feel?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:04, Reply)

Appetite for Destruction is 25 years old
Screw him, how fucking old do I feel?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:06, Reply)

Alrighters, Mighters?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:07, Reply)

Up and down, old boy, up and down.
and yourself?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:10, Reply)

T. M. I.

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:19, Reply)

Down and down. You know my steez.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:20, Reply)

About 40?

( Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:07, Reply)

close enough.
Within an engineering level of acceptable inaccuracy.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:12, Reply)

Welcome to the Jungle was on the jukebox in the first pub I was a regular.
And not as an old timey classic. As a brand new piece of cutting edge vinyl.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:08, Reply)

It was the first album I bought.
On dolby cassette, I'll have you know.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:11, Reply)

Swanky.
I've got that battered-to-fuck juke box single somewhere. I promised it to a mate. I should probably dig it out of my folk's house before they flog it.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:15, Reply)

I should, if I were you.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:16, Reply)

If it's battered it'll be worth pence.
You can get a mint one for a fiver.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:19, Reply)

It's for purely sentimental reasons. It's the one from the pub.
I'd be amazed if it played and who the fuck would want to listen to it.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:29, Reply)

Not me. It's shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:36, Reply)

Someone nicked my fairly mint 3-sleeve original 12" of Blue Monday.
Whilst your opinion of That New Order is a matter of public record, that particluar piece of vinyl is, I believe, worth a fair fucking bit. If only for its relationship to the eventual bankrupting of Factory.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:46, Reply)

It is indeed v collectable.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:52, Reply)

Hay look, it's my two favorite doctors replying to eachother on the same board.
I just thought I would point that out as I have nothing to add to the conversation.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:26, Reply)

I went to waitrose before, where I scored the big one on the Reduction Isle.
I got myself a "Chestnut and Mushroom Risstto", always in all my days of living near a waitrose I did want to try, and now I have done, for £1.99, instead of £4-5 whatever. I also got myself a fish pie for the same money. I also got myself a pizza with truffle for the same price.

Sometimes if life takes a big shit on me, at least I know Waitrose will be there to pick up the peaces.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:30, Reply)

38

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:06, Reply)

Humph.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:07, Reply)

37
Actually, in my mind I'm about 12 and in my body about 78
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:07, Reply)

No I'm not.
He died in 2008.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:09, Reply)

Sad times.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:10, Reply)

RIP Humphers

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:11, Reply)

Humph's dead, Shambles.
It's all about Jack Dee these days.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:10, Reply)

He's not nearly as terrible as I was expecting.
Can't blow a horn for fuck though.

edit: I saw Humph in Ronnie Scotts about fifteen years ago. One of the best stand ups I've ever seen. And he was sat down.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:11, Reply)

He came across as a fucking great chap I thought.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:15, Reply)

can't get Bad Penny Blues out my head now

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:17, Reply)

You're only as old as the doves and rolexs in your stash man

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:07, Reply)

They only sell it in tablet form in old folks homes.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:09, Reply)

Washed down with senacot.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:09, Reply)

fuck that they all mainline all sorts of weird and wonderfull anti-psychotics and anti--depressants in those places
they never lost their hardcore
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:12, Reply)

I worked in a looney tunes care home as a student.
Half of them were there because they'd drunk their brains mushy. Constant drooling and pissing. Grim stuff.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:14, Reply)

GP's can't be fucked dealing with them so mong em out on carbamazepine, Lorazepam and risperidone until they drop dead from a stroke

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:18, Reply)

Oh man, I can't wait until I'm old

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:19, Reply)

Yeah cos being a dribbling mess with the cognition of a cabbage is really cool

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:20, Reply)

it's still cooler than some people
the star wars kid, for example.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:23, Reply)

whatever happened to that fat German kid who kept shouting cos his game wouldn't load load

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:25, Reply)

MASSIVE coronary. MASSIVE. You could actually hear things bursting from the next room.
Like somebody dropped a firework into a sack of offal.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:31, Reply)

Fantastic imagery

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:37, Reply)

Are you saying that Nakers is really cool?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:23, Reply)

He's the /offtopic poster boy now, always on the popular page him
most b3ta birds would deffo let him chuck his muck all over their fat faces
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:27, Reply)

you should be writing valentine's cards as a career

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:28, Reply)

Hot beef.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:20, Reply)

:(

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:02, Reply)

You are Alice Cooper etc

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:06, Reply)

Nah, he got elected

( Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:07, Reply)

Yes but he WANTED to be injected*

*except he didn't because he was just an alkie gaylord who only made one good tune: 'I'm 18' - which he made when he was about 25 the nonce.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:10, Reply)

I saw him at Reading and enjoyed it,
but listening to him on disc is a bit crap.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:18, Reply)

My brother saw him last year
simply because the infinitely superior Zodiac Mindwarp was the support. I think he left about three songs in.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:25, Reply)

Afternoon you full spectrum fuckwits, was B3ta broken earlier?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:18, Reply)

It's broken, just like the world

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:21, Reply)

THIS IS NOT A QUESTION?
WHERE'S THE FUCKING QUESTION?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:20, Reply)

Oh dear, diet coke come down rage

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:20, Reply)

hey
i'm now... 17 days clean!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:23, Reply)

You've got to love the 12 point program

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:25, Reply)

There are only 7 steps in the program.

( Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:26, Reply)

*looks*
Nope 12.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:27, Reply)

WRONG!
No. 1: Get a Wife
No. 2: Get a Child
No. 3: Have an inability to pass an open (or indeed closed) recepticle containing an alcoholic beverage.
No. 4: Become highly qualified in looking at things and then get even more qualified in hitting things with spanners and overcharging old ladies
No. 5: Build your own house becuase you're so amazing.
No. 6: Be right on the internet all the time. Even when you're not on the internet.
No. 7: Have a drink.
( Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:29, Reply)

*stands corrected*

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:30, Reply)

he forgot
"FUCK YOUR SISTER"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:33, Reply)

Blaireau didn't fuck his sister
he just exchanged mortgage payments for bumhole pictures.
( Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:33, Reply)

yeah but
nobody has mentioned bert for about 24 hours, so.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:36, Reply)

No. 8 Have another drink
No. 9: Have another drink.
No. 10: And another
No. 11: Crack open the Vodka
No. 12: Repeat steps 7 to 12 as required.


So ner.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:30, Reply)

So THATS the 12 point programme

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:38, Reply)

Nope.
I know this for a reason. That reason being I really like that Spiritualised song.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:28, Reply)

my secretary told me "not to get too thin"
it's amazing how smug this made me. between this and the fancy harley street dentist telling me what "lovely teeth" i have, i am feeling GOOD.

could still rim a tramp for a diet coke though :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:27, Reply)

Are they the nicest teeth he's ever come across?
BukkakeLOLZ
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:37, Reply)

i wish
he was smoking hot.

i thought he was gay, so didn't mind him probing around my mouth on a first date, even if i was paying him to do it. but then i found out he was married.

i liked that he didn't try to flog me any procedures other than the teeth whitening i went in there for, and then he recommended the cheapest of the 3. i feel this means he is not trying to rip me off!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:41, Reply)

I have finally got myself a fit dentist and I'm moving away.
Not 'appy. Might stay with that dentist and only have appointments when I visit my folks.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:47, Reply)

My new dentist is a flame haired irish lady.
She is even sexier than my last one who was a gorgeous indian lady.
( Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:49, Reply)

It's good,
but I prefer the 12 pint program.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:29, Reply)

you prefer the 6p program.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:30, Reply)

Fuck you man.
I found some Haribo's in my drawer so I've had pudding and everything now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:32, Reply)

"I found some salt and pepper in my drawer so lunch is sorted"

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:33, Reply)

You lucky bastard.
I might go out and throw some money into the street.

Just for the hell of it.
( Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:34, Reply)

Out of purely idle academic interest, which street?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:34, Reply)

I done a lol

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:35, Reply)

*unlurks*
Me too!

*relurks*
( girlinthehole, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:35, Reply)

hangover bgb

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:36, Reply)

Nope! just not feeling chatty.

( girlinthehole, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:37, Reply)

BGB
I heard you were having a birthday party, but you told me you weren't. I did a sad when I found this out.
( Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:44, Reply)

You heard wrong.

( girlinthehole, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:44, Reply)

I'm confused you said in your gaz that it was all going ahead

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:46, Reply)

No, I said I would give you head.
You got confused.
( girlinthehole, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:46, Reply)

Another failed b4sh attempt :(

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:47, Reply)

Al, stop this

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:45, Reply)

What's up with you today?
You're being a right mardy cow.
( Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:48, Reply)

i'm helping you out

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:49, Reply)

How?

( Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:50, Reply)

Cos you look dead weird when you do that

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:53, Reply)

When I try and garner attention of girls on the internet by pretending to be really upset that they haven't invited me to their birthday parties when they invited me to the last one and even gave me a kiss
and then told me that there wasn't a party which makes it look like they just didn't have the courage to tell me to my face that they don't like me even though they're coming to meet me at a festival in June?
( Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:55, Reply)

tldr
Anyway it's creepy.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:58, Reply)

You're creepy.

( Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:59, Reply)

What grand social ocassional have we both been excluded from due to our creeds is it this time?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:49, Reply)

It's a conspiracy against us Gonz.
It's all because of what our Barry did to her plant pots that time at christmas a couple of years ago.
( Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:51, Reply)

Oh man that was such a funny story
Proper made me lol
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:53, Reply)

Did you forget this (!) ?

( Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:55, Reply)

No I proper loved it
Little developments all day
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:58, Reply)

no meeee!
I hungover
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:45, Reply)

Soz!
Poor Roota : (
( girlinthehole, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:45, Reply)

Had Red Bull
Sackable conduct in 5...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:47, Reply)

Off to the gym to man the fuck up.
Tara!
( girlinthehole, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:49, Reply)

Newley!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:52, Reply)

I fell through a stair in the basement of my new place.
Right fucked up my knee too. That was fun.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:28, Reply)

Installing your dungeon?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:29, Reply)

It has plenty if bare brick potential but needs more loops for chains.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:31, Reply)

Nancy.
Masonry nails straight through the wrists and ankles.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:32, Reply)

Then they smell of blood.
I prefer to smell the fear. And piss. And shit.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:35, Reply)

ONE HUNDRED REPLIES, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.
*bored and in pain*
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:48, Reply)

lifes hard man
like just now i went for a pee, and the urinal started flushing when i was peeing, and the whole thing started filling up and i was worried it was gonna spill out on my moccasins. Lucky it stopped just beffore it overflowed.

only just tho
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:52, Reply)

i had to use an overflowy bog last night
I hate walking out and worrying that the next person will think it was me
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:54, Reply)

that doesn't count cos your talking about floaters blocking a u-bend, this was just an excess of waterflow

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:55, Reply)

There were no shits, it was just filling up too much and had toilet paper in it

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:59, Reply)

if thats your story and your sticking to it who am i to disagree?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 16:06, Reply)

I had to use a toilet in a 24 hour ASDA and there was only one cubicle open
and some scrote had stuffed the toilet with bog paper so I couldn't do a poo because if I had it wouldn't have flushed and my poo might have escaped over the sides.
( Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 15:56, Reply)

You should have done it
And watched your effort float into the fresh food section,
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 16:03, Reply)

wait til you get home you dirty dog

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 16:06, Reply)

It was really early in the morning and I was about to spend all day on site.

( Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 16:11, Reply)

I started a new thread

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 16:08, Reply)