B3th!!!!!!
www.thisisbristol.co.uk/Stick-rock-man-banned-Weston-super-Mare/story-15324927-detail/story.html

Evening all.

How was your day? I can't believe it's only Tuesday. I'm shattered.

What ya doin' this evening?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 18:42, 273 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Jeff I'm shattered too. I think I might have a lie down.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 18:49, Reply)

Is that Bob or someone pretending to be Bob?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 18:51, Reply)

The one and only Monsieur Robert Pires.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 18:51, Reply)

Good.
I can call you a bender then.

BENDER!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 18:52, Reply)

Hey Bob.
Did you get the memo that the cider boat is going to be fancy dress now?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 18:54, Reply)

Fuck off...

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 18:56, Reply)

Seriously.
It was decided that making the cider bash fancy dress would be more of a laugh. So fancy dress it is.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 18:57, Reply)

Great...

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 18:59, Reply)

I don't know what's wrong with you.
You kepts saying 'Bollocks' when I told you about Monty and Stunned going to the football, and now you seem to be doubting the fancy dress aspect of the cider bash.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:00, Reply)

It's all very unlikely jeff.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:00, Reply)

What's unlikely?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:01, Reply)

All of the lies.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:02, Reply)

There are no lies.
What do you think I'm fibbing about?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:03, Reply)

Fancy dress, Monty going to a footie game, who shot JFK, and the moon landing.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:04, Reply)

Fancy dress. TRUE.
Monty and Stunned going to Arsenal games, also true. (Granted, that wouldn't have happened if the tickets hadn't come with a free bar, but it has happened all the same).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:05, Reply)

Ok I'll believe you.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:08, Reply)

yeah well I've been uninvited, so I'm glad I don't have to turn up dressed like an arsehole

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:00, Reply)

You said you couldn't make it.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:02, Reply)

I'll be there, just a week later FFS, it's not asking too much for it to be put back to convenience me...
it's not like anyone there has anything better to do
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:03, Reply)

What brings you to Bristol the following week?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:04, Reply)

A pricking stag do
Shotguns during the day, that'll be alright
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:07, Reply)

Where are you going in the evening?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:09, Reply)

As a result of this decision I am no longer attending. Soz.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:02, Reply)

I'm being brought down by negative board politics and crippling self esteem issues
I'll have to have a bit of a cry Jeffers
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 18:56, Reply)

You're my favourite.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 18:57, Reply)

God I'm crying with an erection now

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 18:59, Reply)

You Are mick Hutchins
And you're band was shit
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:00, Reply)

Suicidal Blonde was an anthem for a generation

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:02, Reply)

A generation of pricks. My generation!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:02, Reply)

"Local Newspaper Has Nothing Better to Report On Shocker!"
Alright, Jeff?
( Kroney, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:04, Reply)

I'm good thanks Grand Master Krone.
How the devil are you?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:04, Reply)

At work with an unpleasant cough
but otherwise not absolutely awful. Cider-bash is the next on the calendar, I believe? I hope you're prepping Bristol for the descending carnage?
( Kroney, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:12, Reply)

I think there are a couple of other things on before cider bash.
Although I did call in at the Apple last week and asked them what is likely to be on when we're due to arrive.

It'll be their annual St Georges' Day party. So expect apple bobbing, a hog roast and all english music - amongst other things.

So it'll be an outstanding hangover inducing event.

What time are you planning on arriving?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:15, Reply)

Sometime in the earlyish afternoon, probably.
I owe dinner to someone for putting up with a fuckton of beakering recently, so there're tentative plans to do that ahead of cider.
( Kroney, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:24, Reply)

Well if you want any suggestions for resonable places to grab a bite, let me know!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:25, Reply)

Is anyone organising a lunch in town before we meet up?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:31, Reply)

You are.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:35, Reply)

I can't organise everything.
It's going to be hard enough getting myself there.

are you still planning on going to the match before the 'stock?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:38, Reply)

Dunno
The way it's going, I won't be.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:41, Reply)

Do you think it would be worth eating somewhere central, like Cabot Circus,
or somewhere down on teh waterfront, closer to teh Apple?

I seem to remember a place next to a bike shop, and teh pub had bikes all suspended from the ceiling.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:43, Reply)

You're thinking of the MudDock Cafe
www.mud-dock.co.uk/

Closer to the cider boat are...

aqua-restaurant.com/

www.spyglassbristol.co.uk/

Suppose it depends on time and people and all that stuff.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:47, Reply)

Hey, thanks Jeff. That's really useful.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:58, Reply)

No problem at all, if there are any other types of food you'd like me to link to, just say.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:59, Reply)

Alright, keep your hair on, Dorothy!
I'm a slow typerist. And I was perusing menus.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:00, Reply)

Want any other types of menu?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:10, Reply)

Fish and chips for example.
www.yelp.co.uk/biz/pellegrinos-fish-and-chip-shop-bristol
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:11, Reply)

No, those first two looked really nice.
I like Italian and I like flame grilled stuff.

What did you fancy?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:12, Reply)

Holly Willoughby.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:14, Reply)

Is there anywhere nearby that serves that?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:15, Reply)

I don't think so.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:21, Reply)

Have you not picked up any hot blondes at the gym?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:23, Reply)

No.
I'm banned from using their sauna. It was a misunderstanding as I tried to explain.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:25, Reply)

www.sancarlo.co.uk/bristol
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:15, Reply)

That looks awfully posh.
Would they let us in?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:18, Reply)

Well, they let me in.
I don't know about you.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:21, Reply)

that's the one!
The other two look nice though. I'd be happy to meet up at either of them and pig out. We need to line our stomachs if we're going to drink all night.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:59, Reply)

+ afternoon.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:02, Reply)

this too.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:03, Reply)

Alright quendlords?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:16, Reply)

P to the Dre you is all fuckin' GAY!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:17, Reply)

P to the...Dre?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:19, Reply)

I'm spittin' lyrics at ya!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:22, Reply)

You're certainly spitting something out.
Still, that's one question answered.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:24, Reply)

Have you pulled your MILFy boss yet?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:26, Reply)

Nope.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:26, Reply)

Why not?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:27, Reply)

She's off all week.
One interview I had, the HR lady interviewing me looked just like Deauxma. I didn't know where to look.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:28, Reply)

Jeff!!!!
It took a while to see what the fuck they were complaining about there - it's fucking tiny (as I said to mr b3th last night etc etc...)

They must be serious about Weston's upmarket new image, as we used to have a bunch of those huge inflatable tube-people things dotted about the town, and they've all gone too.

We're ever so posh here now.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:18, Reply)

But until they de-dust the pier, they won't be taken seriously.
Are you calling another pier bash this year?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:23, Reply)

I would
but most of you lot are too garish to be allowed on the pier.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:29, Reply)

Good point.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:35, Reply)

sat waiting for an x ray
Spacked up my wanking arm by falling of my bike. Nothing too major, most likely a cracked collar bone. The pain killers seem to have kicked in so main worry is I'm starving
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:37, Reply)

Ouch.
How did you manage to fall off your bike?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:38, Reply)

He was probably wanking at the time.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:40, Reply)

fucked if i know
Spacker I guess
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:41, Reply)

Is it your right arm?
Because if so I blame the whole 'your username is similar to mine' thing for causing my arm to hurt in sympathy
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:17, Reply)

im knackered
All this drinking all the time, smoking, staying up all night shagging is starting to take its toll
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:40, Reply)

Party.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:42, Reply)

im only joking, the shagging lasts about 5 minutes

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:45, Reply)

At least you're shagging.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:46, Reply)

I'm only kidding, I don't care about that nonsense really.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:47, Reply)

shagging is the best dance ever
Have you seen the movie? Totally rad
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:48, Reply)

Oh em gee¬! A film I've seen!
Didn't it have some classy deep south accents in it?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:49, Reply)

yes ! I fucking love that film

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:50, Reply)

I was quite impressed at the girl dancing with the bedpost.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:01, Reply)

i think youre thinking of that film with vin diesel

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:10, Reply)

I'm thinking about one where the girls go off to party
when they told their parents they were going to some Confederate type place, and one of them enters a beauty pageant and sings Dixie in a spangly bikini.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:26, Reply)

Only if it's with someone you properly like.
I couldn't think of anything worse otherwise.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:51, Reply)

yeah its totally awkward trying to dance with someone you dont like

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:54, Reply)

Good day today.
Went to another art gallery with my mum and her mate, then had a couple drinks in a beer garden in the sun before seeing them off at the train station. Went to End Hunting, grabbed a couple of amazing shirts and t-shirts then went to the pub.
Still texting the ace girl I met on Saturday, she actually likes me and wants to meet up with me as often as possible which makes a nice change.
Out later for a birthday which again will be dandy. I'm in a great mood, I think the Metronomy song "Everything Goes My Way" was written about me.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:42, Reply)

"it would be detrimental to the appearance of the existing building and the visual amenity of the surrounding area". FUCK OFF IT'S WESTON-SHITHOLE-MARE ffs.

Spending the evening reviewing CV's, copiously breaking wind and eating chinese food.

How was the teaching Jeff? Did you show them how to breach the company firewall to access spacker porn?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:50, Reply)

Sadly not.
On the basis that I've not yet managed to get round the firewall, I've been taking my own spackers into work just to watch them fuck.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:51, Reply)

Try dwarf spackers - easier to hide in the filing cabinet.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:53, Reply)

*makes note*
Having a good week?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:53, Reply)

V good thanks. Got to fire some people who I haven't even met which will be "interesting".

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:57, Reply)

How does that work, or are they all contractors?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:58, Reply)

They are permanent & I am getting rid based on their performance ratings over the last 24 months; failure to improve in role.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 19:59, Reply)

That'll be fun.
Are the expectations too high, have they been mismanaged, or are they just fucking shit?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:04, Reply)

The latter, measured on multiple criteria; LFL sales performance, # of customer complaints, net recommendation scores, mystery shopping results etc.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:11, Reply)

Rory made a good point on the calendar page.
Are you aware that Bradford's first and hopefully last plum-mouthed blog-writing pseudo-feminist is based in Bristol these days?
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:01, Reply)

Suddenly it all makes sense.
'Stag do' my arse. Rory's heading to Bristol to get some munchy boxing in.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:07, Reply)

*boaks*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:08, Reply)

They don't do a nice munchy box in Bristol.
It's all gristle.
( Kroney, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:18, Reply)

I reckon she and Piston would make a lovely* couple.
* terminally annoying
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:20, Reply)

I have had the 'pleasure' of meeting Piston
but not Bella.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:59, Reply)

It's not an experience I'd care to repeat.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:03, Reply)

The pub in Heaton that her dad ran is up for let
Maybe he's gone to Bristol too.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:19, Reply)

Maybe it was shit and people stopped going.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:20, Reply)

That's certainly what happened to Weston.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:22, Reply)

It's about 75% Islamic in that area
So I expect they weren't getting much local trade any more.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:25, Reply)

Bloody publicans.
Send 'em home.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:32, Reply)

If so, she won't have a problem finding a job then.
Ho ho!
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:22, Reply)

Anybody watching Supersize vs Superskinny?
Man, I thought I had problems with food...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:14, Reply)

so...very...tired
think I fucked up my arm a bit at archery.

I might have some hot chocolate and an early night
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:16, Reply)

Evening you!
Happy candle day an' that.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:19, Reply)

why thank you
and good evening to you. Exciting things happening?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:20, Reply)

Hardly.
Although, the diet seems to be working already, which is good. Yay.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:22, Reply)

woohoo!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:23, Reply)

Is that why you wanted restaurant links?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:24, Reply)

No
I wanted restaurant links because you said the Apple doesn't serve real food, and we're planning on spend a whole afternoon/evening drinking.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:30, Reply)

Depends what sort of food you want, and what sort of money you want to drop on a meal.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:31, Reply)

I'll be coming in by train, so it's just as easy for me to eat in Broadmead
and I can't afford too much on dinner, as I'm still not employed.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:33, Reply)

lets have a Greggs banquet!
it'll be like £3.50 and greasy as a spoon
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:35, Reply)

: (
I'll still be on the diet.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:39, Reply)

You might be better off eating both breakfast and lunch before you set off.
And then maybe getting involved with the hog roast.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:40, Reply)

mmmm hog roast

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:42, Reply)

They expect to have one on the 21st April, but it isn't confirmed yet.
I put the extra details in the calendar.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:42, Reply)

I was going to suggest that if there wasn't one we just
roast Rory over an open fire, but (surprisingly and sadly) he isn't coming
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:44, Reply)

We should sacrifice the weakest b3tan and roast them over a firepit.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:45, Reply)

I like how we've all
delicately stepped around the word spitroast.

Which b3tan should we spitroast?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:47, Reply)

Swipe.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:55, Reply)

So who would be
Starter, main and desert?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:52, Reply)

I refuse to be dragged into this discussion.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:53, Reply)

Until you meet them
all of them could be hot.

Savour this moment
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:55, Reply)

Yeah, right.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:59, Reply)

Go on.
Make some choices.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:59, Reply)

What is this?
Some sort of b3ta Donner Pass tragedy that you're proposing here?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:02, Reply)

Yeah, I pitta the fools.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:13, Reply)

But you'll have to bring your own spoon.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:39, Reply)

I'm only allowed plaastic cutlery.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:40, Reply)

That's okay.
Safety firt.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:41, Reply)

Blimey Cavy
That's 9 years of your life wasted.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:22, Reply)

I know
in that time I have done other things, mind - got a masters had about 15 jobs, run a business, done a PGCE, got married, got divorced, bought a house - things change, but b3ta is a constant.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:25, Reply)

I've just had to check mine
I'm an inmate of over 7 years myself. Blimey.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:34, Reply)

Yeah, me too.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:35, Reply)

think what we could have achieved...

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:37, Reply)

I reckon if I'd not wasted time on here
I could have built a right good rocket to go to the moon. A yellow one.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:40, Reply)

me too
although I probably wouldn't have got round to painting it. Perhaps just the undercoat
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:43, Reply)

Yours would probably have been orange

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:44, Reply)

I reckon that was always the problem with the US space programme
Everyone knows that red or yellow cars go faster and the yanks painted their rockets white or silver.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:07, Reply)

FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:25, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOErZuzZpS8
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:28, Reply)

Happy candle day

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:56, Reply)

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:28, Reply)

AHO AHOOOOAAAAAA!
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:31, Reply)

Q U E N D E R S

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:18, Reply)

What's quending on /OT tonight?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:38, Reply)

Dozer.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:41, Reply)

No changes there

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:43, Reply)

You bent spastic.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:45, Reply)

Et tu dozus

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:51, Reply)

Et the whole packet.
I'm a right internet whale.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:51, Reply)

Wud you like sum chups?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:55, Reply)

No thenks.
Why have we gone kiwi?

Not often we see you in the evening here.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:56, Reply)

Well I normally use b3ta to kill the crushing boredom of work
But tonight the wife is out and there is nuthin on telly.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdVHZwI8pcA&feature=youtube_gdata_player
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:02, Reply)

I'm not really an interwhale.
It's really embarrassing, but I found out the other week that I have the same face as the guy out of Maroon 5. A shit claim to fame, but I have been told that he knows his way around Anna Kournikova. There is hope for Sian Williams, Fiona Bruce and me yet.

This cunt: www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEPTlhBmwRg&ob=av3n
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:13, Reply)

It can't be that embarrassing.
You've mentioned it every fucking day since you found out.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:28, Reply)

It's been the only good thing to have happened to me in a long, long while.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:31, Reply)

And it's not really very good is it?
Patrick Dewitt - "The Sisters Brothers." Very easy reading, an evening's entertainment, but it's a good book.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:36, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEhDlWEZbZ8
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:38, Reply)

Better Maroon 5 than Midge Ure.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:42, Reply)

I'd say in terms of musical significance
Midge Ure was of more importance than complacent, derivative, radio 2 friendly Maroon 5.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:46, Reply)

I'd say Midge Ure is 'up there' with Jim Kerr.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:47, Reply)

I bring you:-
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnUDzzIDHok

Simple Minds were a very very good band initially.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:50, Reply)

You terrible pederast.
A/C
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:04, Reply)

Paved the way for a lot of other stuff
I Travel was 1980.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:06, Reply)

At first I thought you were referring to your pederasty

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:08, Reply)

I was pederast fodder in 1980
But I knew good tunes to run through my head whilst old men were fiddling with my parts.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:10, Reply)

I'm crying, I'm crying into my object orientaged programing pre-hypertext proccessor.
I've spent 4 days trying to fix a wordpress site with 7k articles, it's one of the biggest road cycling sites in the Europe. Four solid days, with 2 days for the weekend in the middle when I was thinking about it.

I just got a very very angry email because some articles didn't make the transfer, it's OK because I can restore them, but I told them all to write all their articles on their computers and not directly into the news system (wordpress) on friday. They don't deserve me to restore their artcles that went missing since then, on account of them being so mean about me and implying I'm incompeitant... while not taking note of my instructions.

And get this right, I got a cod'n'chips for dinner as I got paid today, but they only had a tiny cod, so I said "What are those things over there?" I could see them in the background and they said they were Fish Coujons, so I got a couple of them to top up the fish to potato ratio... and they're only 75p each, BUT, but, listen, they're about 1/4 of the side of a cod. I'm not buying cod again, 4 or 5 of those is like £3-£3.75 instead of £6. And there is more batter !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:11, Reply)

Evening Gonz.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:13, Reply)

'ning Jeff, what's the 411?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:33, Reply)

I don't know what a 411 is Gonz ;-(

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:37, Reply)

Hello Gonz.
How are you, apart from big boys being mean to you?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:23, Reply)

I'm doing great thanks, lovely.
I've got a swanky new central london nightclub wanting me to build them a website and run their social networks. The whole thing I can do in my own part-time, and has the potential to be some real cash.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:35, Reply)

I've had an omelette.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:12, Reply)

I've just polished off a lamb moussaka.
Now I'm enjoying expensive port. Trying to work out where everything went right for me.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:14, Reply)

You terrible pederast.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:14, Reply)

I've just had some chicken soup.
I feel better now.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:22, Reply)

Opening a can is quite difficult.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:23, Reply)

Not this kind.
They have ringpulls. Even my fliddy fingers can manage that.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:25, Reply)

Have you ever had Oasis soup?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:26, Reply)

It's got a roll with it.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:26, Reply)

You are both shit.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:27, Reply)

Not as shit as your face.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:28, Reply)

*cries*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:28, Reply)

Don't.
The shit will start to run.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:29, Reply)

You're mean.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:30, Reply)

Sorry b3th.
I'll buy you a cider.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:31, Reply)

not as shit as Oasis.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:30, Reply)

Or Maroon 5.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:30, Reply)

True.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:30, Reply)

I just remembered they made that borderline rapey song a few years back that went "she wiiiiiiiiiiiiillll be loooooooooooved".
If memory serves, it was popular round about the same time as "I Like The Way You Move", which had an introduction so pervy and heavy-breathing it made you uncomfortable just being in the same room as the radio.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:43, Reply)

So your story is that I'm vicariously rapey?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:53, Reply)

That's the best compliment you are going to get on the Internet today
I'd throw in the towel now, if I were you.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:57, Reply)

There does come a point
When obsessive fixation on assumed lookalikes tips over the edge of normality.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:02, Reply)

I am ill and exhausted
and I still haven't done any packing despite moving on Friday. Urgh.
(berk, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:40, Reply)

*there there*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:41, Reply)

Where where?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:42, Reply)

A little mouse with clogs on.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:44, Reply)

Well I declare...

(berk, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:45, Reply)

*goes clip-clippety-clop*

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:46, Reply)

So have you decided to abandon the Royal Spa town of Leamington?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:47, Reply)

The commute is killing me
It's almost three hours a day on top of nine hours of brutually hard work, generally. There are/were other reasons too. It's a shame, I really like Leam, but I found a place I liked in Oxford and thought I'd go for it.
(berk, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:50, Reply)

Just be careful in Oxford.
Like I've said before, but the murder rate is high there. I learnt that on a program called Morse.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:52, Reply)

I don't watch it myself
but I am looking forward to taking Mum for a wander round when she visits and hear her squeak 'Oooh ooh I know this bit, I've seen it on the telly!'.
(berk, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:54, Reply)

You should watch it.
You'll be able to learn what busses go where.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:56, Reply)

Six months of narrowly avoiding being run over by the buggers
has done that :)
(berk, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:01, Reply)

Will you be using your bike?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:11, Reply)

Yerp
it's about 4.5 miles to work from my new place.
(berk, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:12, Reply)

That isn't too bad.
And Oxford is quite a cycling city as well, isn't it?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:16, Reply)

It did seem a little optimistic to commute to Oxford each day from there
optimistic crazy
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:54, Reply)

It's doable
and I'm sure I could have continued to do it. But since I am just getting progressively more knackered instead of progressively more accustomed to it, it made more sense to move. I suspect it will probably mean I end up single, but hey ho.
(berk, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:01, Reply)

Forgive me, but I was reading between the lines
and assuming that was part of your reason for leaving the town in the middle.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:05, Reply)

Evening all
Old, but relevant: www.theonion.com/articles/it-only-tuesday,2304/
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:42, Reply)

Tits

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:45, Reply)

SO TIRED

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:46, Reply)

I can recommend
Going to bed.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:49, Reply)

I am in ten mins

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:50, Reply)

I make that 9 minutes!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 21:51, Reply)

I'm happy this evening
I've found a very attractive someone who seems prepared to put up with my drinking, poker playing and general laziness, and an hour ago I was asked to go down to Castleford tomorrow to compete in the BUISC national finals.

/croissant
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:15, Reply)

What are the BUISC national finals?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:16, Reply)

British universities indoor snowsports championships
Edit:

http://www.buscevents.com/events/index.php/?content=973&menu=2499
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:22, Reply)

Without that link
I assumed that snowsport was like water-sports. But for cold people.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:28, Reply)

You poor bastard.
/former resident of Cas Vegas
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:22, Reply)

Laterz potaterz.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:16, Reply)

Evening
I fear I've left it a bit late now as everyone's pissed off. Have some music.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNdnOTvGbJQ

I am having a busy time not helped by corporate reminders about misuse of company resources indicating I have to be most circumspect in my b3ting during the day, which mostly means I skim threads at lunchtime and after my boss leaves.

"it's not that your not meeting your targets, but there's a *PERCEPTION* if you're seen surfing that you're not giving 100%"

Well of course I'm not, if I was giving 100% the disparity between myself and Idiot Coworker would be so great you'd be forced to sack her and she's a single mum. WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU?

etc.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:42, Reply)

Evening Lighty,

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:43, Reply)

Hey Jeff
how's tricks?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:50, Reply)

Good mate.
In the previous thread there were some links to various Bristol restaurants if you fancy a pre-cider-bite.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:51, Reply)

I saw you put San Carlo down
they're a family run chain, I've been to the one in Birmingham and the food was absolutely excellent.
(berk, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:57, Reply)

I've never had a bad meal in the Bristol one.
But different folk are working with different budgets, so finding someone that suits all might be an idea.

Have you seen this please before?

www.zazabazaar.com/

I've not eaten there as I've had really mixed reports, but it might be good for a lunch.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:00, Reply)

Magic roll!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:04, Reply)

I love the Magic Roll!
Have you eaten at Za Za Bazzar yet Bob?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:04, Reply)

Nope, is it that fuck off massive new place.?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:06, Reply)

Yeah, it's the biggest restaurant in the UK.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:08, Reply)

Fuck that shit

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:17, Reply)

Evening Kroney.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:20, Reply)

Wotcha

( Kroney, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:26, Reply)

hahahaha
Brilliant.

Had a nice evening?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:28, Reply)

Boaby
I'll need to meet up pre-bash and transfer that "large box of heavy things" to you. Want to grab dinner too?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:06, Reply)

Sounds grand. I'll rendezvous with you closer to date to confirm details.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:07, Reply)

You've not turned this into a bring-and-buy-dildo-session (again) have you?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:09, Reply)

Yes, ass plugging.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:18, Reply)

I'm amazed you've not been to Za Za Bazza Bob.
It's ALL YOU CAN EAT.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:19, Reply)

Friends help you move
B3tans help you move boxes of dismembered hookers.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:21, Reply)

*Adds to list of handy hints*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:22, Reply)

Never heard of it
looks...interesting.
(berk, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:06, Reply)

All you can eat, a tenner
And - apparently - most of the stuff is cooked to order. I've been in there for a drink and a nosey about, but I've not eaten there.

What I saw of the place, it looked impressive.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:07, Reply)

All you can eat
is a bit wasted on me, for obvious reasons. I shall probably get there about lunchtime and wander round St Nicholas' Market and have a pie or something.
(berk, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:13, Reply)

It's looking increasingly likely I won't bother with football that day
(Everytime I have a drink with Stunned, City lose (granted, they lose when I don't drink with Stunned as well)).

So I'll likely be around for most of the day.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:17, Reply)

Well, I need to sort out trains and somewhere to stay
I'll have a better idea of plans and times and things after that.
(berk, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:19, Reply)

I thought you were staying at Lanes?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:20, Reply)

I might
but I also might bother Amberl and see if I can stay on her floor for free..
(berk, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:22, Reply)

Another fine option.
And if there is any aggro, she'll be able to sort it out.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:24, Reply)

Looks like a cheap Jimmy Spices knock-off

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:08, Reply)

Who is Jimmy Spice?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:09, Reply)

Jack of all foods, master of none
www.jimmyspices.co.uk
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:22, Reply)

www.dailymail.co.uk/home/moslive/article-2082217/Za-Za-Bazaar-restaurant-review-TOM-PARKER-BOWLES.html
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:27, Reply)

well maybe
I'm driving down so I can get there whenever. Morning drive + Lunch + whatever afternoon cultural experiences Bristol can offer + an early tea + drinking heavily seems to be on the cards.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:43, Reply)

It's a tenner for lunch on a Saturday.
They have a resonable drink selection (unless, like you, you're an ale drinker).

www.zazabazaar.com/the-bar
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:45, Reply)

Ooh, they have Sagres

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:51, Reply)

They have lots of beer.
This 'all you can eat' lunch thing might be something to consider.

BEFORE GOING ON A CIDER MISSION!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 23:55, Reply)

IF ONLY WE HAD MORE TIME TO ORGANISE SONMDTHING
Oh wait, we do.

In that case I'm going to bed.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 0:15, Reply)