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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I made an eyewateringly hot curry last night, even when i had added an extra pot of sourcream it had the capacity to burn at a thousand yards
however, my morning constitutional did not involve the dreaded "ring of fire". this is good news, but what's your good news /OT? however trivial.

alt: weekend plans?

altalt: why is your momma so fat?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:35, 205 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Your lunchtime dunk will ache

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:36, Reply)
my weekend plans are making me cross with myself
altalt: she was exceptionally slim before she died. i doubt 5 years underground has added to her bulk :(
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:38, Reply)
If you see that gaylord this weekend I will have fucking words with you, love.
I suggest you have one with yourself whilst you're about it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:39, Reply)
If we want to go for a drink we will!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:41, Reply)
Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:43, Reply)
i am breaking the detox on sat night
i am excited about this, it'll only be the third alcoholic drink this year.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:50, Reply)
because i am an idiot
i am helping him move all his stuff in this weekend, for a month (NOT himself). then the remainder of it next weekend. and in a month's time, i get to help him move it all back.

in an effort to be helpful, given where he lives, i used my lawyer charms on the council and got a parking dispensation for the evil double yellows outside his current place. and the response was "thanks but i wish you hadn't agreed to pay them £25, but i will refund you". i didn't ASK for a fucking refund! then he didn't speak to me for 48 hours and has just now emailed to ask if 7am tomorrow morning is still ok.

even i am reaching tipping point now...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:48, Reply)
Dear christ, that's ridiculous
Tell him to shove his furniture up his arse, the fuckwit.

Delete his number, and don't contact him again. He's clearly a prick.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:50, Reply)
i don't know how i get myself into these things
it's the same way i have ended up with all these flatmates not paying me rent for years - my stupid mouth just opens and says "you can stay with me for a bit" - and then they're there for about 2 years!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:51, Reply)
There's doing favours for friends, and letting them walk all over you
You need to decide whether you are their friend, or their doormat, because this situation is ridiculous.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:52, Reply)
Innit.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:58, Reply)
most people are appreciative in which case they are welcome - apart from this ridiculous thing about the parking (maybe he thought i'd overstepped the mark by applying), he is super-grateful
but sometimes you get the odd prick who just assumes you will pay for something and doesn't say thank you; that kind of goat in a barn manners really irritates me.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:00, Reply)

rateful ay
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:03, Reply)
Delete his account and kill him.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:58, Reply)
Oh you fucking imbecile.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:55, Reply)
i know
i am useless
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:00, Reply)
Get a grip on yourself. Please.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:02, Reply)
it takes a lot to piss me off but i think this has managed it!
er, i mean him, not you, obviously darling x
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:11, Reply)
delete his account and kill him
edit: oh this quality advice has already been given
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:07, Reply)
ha, you and monty get ever more similar

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:10, Reply)
as long as our bank balances stay poles apart

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:13, Reply)
1. Help with moving stuff
2. Smother him in his sleep
3. Spatchcock him and sell his skeleton to a doctor who needs one of those plastic skeleton models in his office
4. ??????
5. WEAR HIS SKIN. For shits and giggles.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:13, Reply)
This answer is the best yet.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:14, Reply)
what's a spatchcock??

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:15, Reply)
Actually, spatchcock is probably the wrong word
It's something you do to a chicken or similarly edible bird so you can cook it without the bones in, but I can't remember whether it refers to the technique of removing the bones, or the actual cooking process.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:16, Reply)
but it's got cock in it
so you thought you'd use it anyway?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:18, Reply)
Yeah, basically.
But you won't be mocking me once you've sold his skeleton!
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:20, Reply)
i'm not sure i'd get that much for it

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:23, Reply)
There'd be one less bone in it than he was used to, after all.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:33, Reply)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:36, Reply)
split and flattened poultry
2.bp.blogspot.com/_yPn45KkKQ-k/SfZwWqX39gI/AAAAAAAACLw/fntfO8ToC0s/s400/DSC_0392+resized.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:17, Reply)
what a slag

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:18, Reply)
I'm off on holiday on Monday, that's my good news.
As per last thread, I’ve having a party tonight and am off in a minute to brave the dreaded Argos where Quinten’s mahogany missus will sell me some cheap headphones.

Tomorrow I’m seeing my beautiful daughter and will spend ten minutes of Sunday afternoon packing for my trip away. My boss is away. All in all I am full of the joys of spring.

Alt alt: because every time I and my rugby club run a train on her, we give her a diet yoghurt.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:38, Reply)
I got home last night to find that a friend of mine had dropped off a belated birthday present
She had bought me some very nice JVC noise cancelling headphones, i honestly couldn't believe how generous she was.

Where are you off on hols to?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:40, Reply)
Noise cancelling headphones are lovely, I had some on for my walk in this morning, meant I was able to ignore the conversation of the chavvy schoolkids.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:41, Reply)
I've never used them and I forgot my fucking ipod this morning so I am without music all day

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:41, Reply)
Ahh, not good.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:42, Reply)
Nice one.
Iceland is my answer.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:42, Reply)
Ah yes i forgot; I am green with envy

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:45, Reply)
Hope you have a great time fella

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:46, Reply)
Thank you.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:47, Reply)
Hmm
The best news I have currently is that there's been a rather large cockup at my work, and it's not my fault. That's always good to hear.

Alt: Gig tonight, nothing beyond that.

Alt Alt: She's not, she's skin and bones. Ok, maybe just bones, but you get my point.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:39, Reply)
What gig?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:40, Reply)
Ridiculous name, I know. Meant to be an anti-thesis to 'Defenders Of The Faith' (another tour)
www.metalhammer.co.uk/top-posts/metal-hammer-presents-destroyers-of-the-faith/

Should be rather good.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:41, Reply)

up

You fucking wolly woofter.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:44, Reply)
Benny.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:45, Reply)
Grans 90th birthday on Sat.
That'll only be 11 until 6ish then engagment party, drinks and sex with supermodels probs.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:44, Reply)
You're getting engaged to your Gran?!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:45, Reply)
Officelol

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:45, Reply)
No I have more than one event to go to this weekend.
I'm THAT popular.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:48, Reply)
They can't make it, soz.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:45, Reply)
I have a boxful of new beers I have never tried waiting at home and there will be curry tonight.
Alt: Ideally drinking the aforementioned boxful of beer. I have just had a text from my wife warning me that she has loads of stuff planned for the kids this weekend, so more likely driving us all around.

Altalt: Actually my mother is terrifyingly fit and is likely to outlive us all.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:44, Reply)
She sure is.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:45, Reply)
I agree, most definitely would.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:50, Reply)
+ again

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:55, Reply)
+ and again

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:57, Reply)
She'd snap you in two, boy.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:57, Reply)
Worth it.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:59, Reply)
I'm going to Blackpool.
Wish me luck.

Alt: Because everytime she fucks me I give her a biscuit. No, that can't be right.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:51, Reply)
I've made myself feel sick now.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:51, Reply)
The thought of going to Blackpool would make me feel sick too.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:56, Reply)
Innit

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:58, Reply)
"How's your wife and my kids?"
"Wife's fine, kids are retarded."

I take it you have more class than to go near Pleasure Beach?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:52, Reply)
I am making the trek all that way so I can go and see The Comedy Carpet, because I am that much of a sad comdey nerd.
May go up the Tower too while we are there, just to make it worthwhile.

But, no, I'm afraid I don't have too much class for that, I went to the pleasure beach about three years ago. I do kinda wish the comedy carpet had been there then so I had no cause to go back though.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:55, Reply)
Pleasure Beach is horrific, I find
Then again, that can describe all of Blackpool.

If you do go up the Tower, think you'll be able to do the walk of faith?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:59, Reply)
If it's what i think it is, yes.
I walked over the glass floor of the CN Tower in Toronto, so...


(and I actually thought the Pleasure Beach was cute, it's got some proper ancient rides, like the plane thing...)
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:03, Reply)
Yep, it's the glass floor

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:05, Reply)
Cool.
Won't be the first time I've looked down on Blackpool.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:16, Reply)
Say hello to Quinten's missus for me.
She works in a kareoke bar/spray-tan salon there.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:48, Reply)

floor coffee table
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:40, Reply)
Will you be taking your wife up "the blackpool tower"?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:09, Reply)
Good news = just had my 4 week in job review, which went very well. I will be CEO by Easter at this rate.
Weekend = taking wife & daughter to the airport as they're off to Boston for two weeks, decorating, beer.

Alt: Because everytime Stunned fucks her up the arse he gives her a biscuit.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:04, Reply)
Can you get us all free meals at your chain restraunts yet?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:11, Reply)
Having eaten at a couple recently I am not sure you'd want to.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:15, Reply)
True, after coming back from Malaysia
I'm not ready for the shit we call high street restraunt chains yet.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:17, Reply)
What was the best meal you had whilst you were there?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:18, Reply)
I went on a couple of "Food crawls" around street vendors that were amazing.
But in terms of sit down, roasted sea bass with ginger, and belly pork curry with singapore noodles and fish fried rice.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:20, Reply)
Street food can be brilliant, some of the best food I had in Nepal was from street vendors.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:21, Reply)
it's all monty can get his hands on these days

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:29, Reply)
I don't want to hear about how you got some nipple from street bendors.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:37, Reply)
Being married means I don't get any nipple at all and at home all the nipple action is reserved for the baby.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:40, Reply)
Hence your resorting to street bendors.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:41, Reply)
As opposed to you scrabbling in the gutter for the free rotten food left after a farmers market.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:48, Reply)
Alt, off to Ireland for the weekend.
Guinness, and big breakfasts.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:11, Reply)
Chris Evans is such a cunt though

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:12, Reply)
I want an Irish breakfast, just so that I can have black & white pudding on the same plate again, along with some quality sausages

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:13, Reply)
An Irish breakfast is exactly the same as an English breakfast,
but you can only eat it off 3/4 of the plate.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:15, Reply)
Less potatoes, surely?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:18, Reply)
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:18, Reply)
None

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:22, Reply)
My favourite joke.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:29, Reply)
It's in my top five.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:37, Reply)
FEWER potatoes
You illiterate oaf.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:22, Reply)
FFS, every time!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:23, Reply)
Are you coming round this evening?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:38, Reply)
Yeah, 'fraid so.
What time d'you want us?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:16, Reply)
potatoes and Jesus.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:49, Reply)
unless they were mashed.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:52, Reply)
are you catching up with all your opportunities to correct people?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:54, Reply)
I haven't corrected people in ages.
but nice to see you noticed I wasn't here, Apers.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:55, Reply)
Are you correcting him about how frequently you have corrected people?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:23, Reply)
*finger guns*
Nicely done.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:26, Reply)
I did a brisket joint in the slow cooker yesterday
And then had a lot of brisket for dinner. I have brisket and onion sandwiches for lunch too.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:22, Reply)
It looked rather good on FB
I had bangers, mash and gravy for tea, I think you win.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:23, Reply)
Brisket seems to come up a lot on man V Food
Not something i ever really eat though
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:24, Reply)
It's a slow cooker and usually pre-diced for retards in the form of
casserole steak. It's got a lovely stripe of fat in it that lends itself really well to smoking/slow grilling on a BBQ.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:29, Reply)
fuck me I'm hungry
is it too early for lunch...
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:31, Reply)
When you were at work I did a shit in your slow cooker yesterday.
Some of your 'brisket' was a bit nutty, right?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:40, Reply)
Like you can afford to buy and eat nuts.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:41, Reply)
Like you can reach the nuts on the shelf in Sainsbury's.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:41, Reply)
He clambers up the trolly like a toddler after sweets.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:43, Reply)
"clean up in aisle 4, a toddler has had a tantrum and wet himself"

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:43, Reply)
THIS IS A COLLEAGUE ANNOUNCEMENT
There's a midget taking the internet too seriously in aisle four.

BING BONG
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:45, Reply)
Much as I hate to say it... POTD.
You utter cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:46, Reply)
lols all round for this

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:47, Reply)
I am rather pleased with it. I cannot lie.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:50, Reply)
No
You like big butts and you cannot lie.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:55, Reply)
Am I only allowed to like one thing?
In which case, OK, I'm going to plump for big butts.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:57, Reply)
I don't make the rules.
I just enjoy them.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:57, Reply)
This is not a surprise to anyone.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:00, Reply)
Lusty does read this site you know.
You = thin fucking ice right about now
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:08, Reply)
I mean blokes butts, because you are a MASSIVE HOMO.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:10, Reply)
What's that noise I can hear?
It sounds like pedalling, only reversed.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:12, Reply)
Not at all. If I wanted to insult Lusty I would think of something far more creative.
If anything she deserves respect for putting up with you rather than being insulted.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:15, Reply)
I am the biggest insult to Lusty that anyone could conceive of.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:18, Reply)
well you know what to do

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:19, Reply)
Laugh and point?

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:20, Reply)
I'll be home from 7, any time after then sir

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:25, Reply)
I have none. Good news is supiciously absent from badger towers
I suppose the new kitchen is being delivered today, that's something.

alt alt: because being paralysed leaves her unable to use any energy really but she hasn't adjusted her food intake accordingly.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:48, Reply)

oh, your here...
(clicks ignore)
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:55, Reply)
lol jk

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:55, Reply)
roffle

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)
put her food on a high shelf

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)
I'll suggest that.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)
Office move today and I will be starting my weekend in 30 mins!
Alt: Fucking your fat Momma.

Alt alt: She has a glandular condition.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:55, Reply)
yeah. overdeveloped cake gland, amirite?

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:57, Reply)
She's developed my glans a few times.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:58, Reply)
She is quite partial to a gland.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:58, Reply)
SHE PUT MY WILLY IN HER MOUTH

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:59, Reply)
No she didn't. Whilst she would suck the chrome of a bumper
there is NO WAY ON GOD'S EARTH she would have sexual relations with a Scottish person.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:01, Reply)
Shit, when did I become Scottish? and why wasn't i informed?!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:02, Reply)
You've been promoted.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:04, Reply)
from what? a tape worm?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:07, Reply)
A paddy.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:08, Reply)
Which in turn is a promotion from thieving gypsy scum.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:09, Reply)

SHE PUT MY HER WILLY IN HER MY MOUTH
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:01, Reply)
It might look like a willy
but I can assure it is just a huge clitoris.

I actually feel sick now.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:05, Reply)
like a moldy old aubergine

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:07, Reply)
Best she ever had (c) Bert Oftiweak.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:08, Reply)
IIRC Bert referred to Becky's as a floppy aubergine.
Nice imagery.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:08, Reply)
Hey Badge, how's the arm?
I'm getting a plate in ma shoulder inna week.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:00, Reply)
I wonder if it will match Nakers' bowls.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:04, Reply)
hahaha
crockerylols
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:07, Reply)
snap
they are plating me back together on thursday

more fucking surgery. great. I'll have more metal in me than a scrapyard...
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:26, Reply)
This'll be my first
oh what joy.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:31, Reply)
my good news is that tracey who works here sometimes is a friend of a friend of mine and we only just realised
its pretty cool, means we can hang out now and that.

alt I'm going somewhere tomorrow night and sunday, can't remember where, i may need to text someone. I seem to remember it revolving exercise or something

altalt italian spunk is highly calorific
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:01, Reply)

text invent
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:04, Reply)
I'm on a diet for that now :'(

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:07, Reply)
its all the pizza and pasta wot does it, ask your spicks to lay off the carbonara and you should slim down

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:10, Reply)
and my spunk will be lovely! thanks Q.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:11, Reply)
time has not dulled the piquant edge of last night's uber curry

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:04, Reply)
I have no good news, life is pointless :'(

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:08, Reply)
Although you are Scottish you have not yet perished from a lard induced coronary
this is good news MMPS!
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:09, Reply)
woop

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:10, Reply)
Then there is only one answer.
Delete your account and kill yourself.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:09, Reply)
I'm sorry dave, I can't do that.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:10, Reply)
on the brightside if life is pointless you can relax
no worries
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:11, Reply)
no pressure.
cheers Q, you're the best!
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:12, Reply)
i'm only here to help

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:14, Reply)
and you most certainly do.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:20, Reply)
bored with this shit thread,
someone post something good.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:11, Reply)
go shove a thread up your cockhole and shit out something good.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:12, Reply)
Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:14, Reply)
sound advice

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:16, Reply)
From what Swipe said it is more of a micro cockhole.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:16, Reply)
I heard it looked like a closed sea anemone

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:18, Reply)
Alright Battered, can I have more details on your massive crimez plz

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:23, Reply)
Were you up Pentonville or the scrubs?

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:24, Reply)
Cell Block H

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:25, Reply)
You seem to be implying he's a bitch

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:26, Reply)
and a lesbian.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:31, Reply)
And then went on to appear in a string of Australian soap operas

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:33, Reply)
all his cool points have evaporated

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:33, Reply)
poor battered :'(
perhaps that's where his user name comes from.
his ringpeice was battered to fuck in jail.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:36, Reply)
he were currency on b wing
had a reputation for enjoying it and all
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:38, Reply)

I wish I could tell you that battered fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that - but prison is no fairy-tale world. He never said who did it, but we all knew.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:41, Reply)
Hi, I'm morethan Freeman

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:43, Reply)
Did you just quote an advert at me?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:44, Reply)
Yes.
Did you just quote Shawshank redemption to me?
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:45, Reply)
yes

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:46, Reply)
Well, what you gonna do about it?

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:47, Reply)
*drops soap*

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:49, Reply)
*drops guts*
*escapes in the ensuing chaos*
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:51, Reply)
Here's a photo at the time
Battered doing "porridge"
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:26, Reply)
lolzors

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:26, Reply)
what are the current details?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:26, Reply)
I've gone for embezzlement / fraud

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:27, Reply)
IIRC, didn't he try to burn down his school?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:32, Reply)
he washed a man in Persil
just to watch him dry.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:29, Reply)
You're not taking this very seriously, he's been banged up for unspecified crimes
He could be after some kids for all we know
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:31, Reply)
I propose a motion to introduce a Rory's Law, where all internet users have to declare any previous convictions.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:34, Reply)
I'm clean man, ent got no beef wif the fedz

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:37, Reply)
it's not got quite the same media appeal as sarah's law, has it?
unless rory is really a big eyed blonde 6 year old girl.

not much would surprise me. but that would.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:01, Reply)
Perhaps a new thread will help us to find out...

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:08, Reply)
he put the lime in the coconut and encouraged her to drink them both up.
pretending to be a doctor is not cool.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:30, Reply)

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