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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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It's a new thread. Wow!!!!
I read this morning that the best animated character of all time is Paddington Bear. Not a bad call, I thought. I mean, he's no Mr Peevly, but then who is?

Alt: Dig if you will, the picture, of you and I engaged in a kiss. Now dig the picture of me, doing your mum, up the shitter. In the frozen aisle of Wigan Morrison's. You're secretly turned on, aren't you? You fucking disgusting cunt.

Alt alt: As you can tell, I have no real question. Nor have I any interest in anything you have to say about anything. Please delete your account, and them kill yourself. Thanks awfully.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:38, 246 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
You strange old bastard.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:42, Reply)
I am so very bored.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:43, Reply)
I've just got uP, need a shit.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:48, Reply)
I thought you saw that weeks back
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1535949

Alt: Could be worse, could be Wigan Asda.

Alt Alt: If I must.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:43, Reply)
JMG is repeating himself.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:46, Reply)
They've only just announced the 'winner'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:49, Reply)
Ahh, fair enough

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:59, Reply)
I need a haircut

(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:44, Reply)
what kind?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:49, Reply)
short back and sides,
I'm not one of these wakki cunts who show their personality through their original hair styling.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:51, Reply)
HOLY HELL WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
i was ina strange place and someone was posting as me? i'm so lost
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:53, Reply)
oh i think i clicked someone's link and posted in a really old thread :(

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:55, Reply)
You're a very special boy.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:57, Reply)
thx x

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:58, Reply)
thats good, my gf's friend does a great job of my hair
all other hairdresseres are shit
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:53, Reply)
You are Biz Markie AICMFP
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Need_a_Haircut
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:52, Reply)
Paddingbear is a Marmalade eating cunt bear with a shit hat

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:46, Reply)
What's the difference between jam and marmalade?






you can't 'marmalade' your cock up a bird's arse
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:46, Reply)
You can't anything up a birds arse,
you're married.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:48, Reply)
I also don't have a Holiday Inn loaylty card
sad times
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:49, Reply)
Guuttt-ttteeeed

(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:53, Reply)
I hope Lenny Henry joins in next time

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:55, Reply)
That's PREMIER INN
god, do you know nothing of the chain hotels in the UK?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)
no
thank god
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:57, Reply)
Premier inn is actually alright, they do all you can eat breakfasts with nice sausages.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:58, Reply)
*Something about Chompy's visits to Premier Inns being a sausagefest*

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:15, Reply)
Generally, but that's because it's for work.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:16, Reply)
Is this the best thread idea you could come up with?
Pathetic. Even by your extremely low standards.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:47, Reply)
are his standards lower than the top of your head?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:47, Reply)
Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:49, Reply)
Considerably.
Now fuck off.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:49, Reply)
*fucks off to corner shop where I'm able to buy pornography*

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:53, Reply)
Do corner shops still sell grot mags these days? Thought redtube would have killed them off.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:55, Reply)
'So that's one copy of Grannies Gone Wild,
one of Enemas Ever After, and one of Fistees Monthly.' That all Naked Ape?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:55, Reply)
you forgot "Massive Horse Cocks for the discerning gentleman"

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:57, Reply)
"No I'll have copy of pre-schooler prolapses as well please"

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:57, Reply)
Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:00, Reply)
Didn't you start this exact same thread before you went on holiday?
Your memory is failing, old man.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:47, Reply)
he really is such an alzheimers riddled old AIDs cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:48, Reply)
I stand corrected, he did our Mums to a different song last time:
"Alt: Picture yourself in a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies. Got that? Good. Now picture me, doing your mum, up the arse. In front of the rest of your family. On Christmas Day. You want to join in, don’t you? You disgusting cunt."
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:49, Reply)
All I'm hearing is the Old Spice Man

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:51, Reply)
the man your man could be bummed by.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:55, Reply)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)
Well done.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:51, Reply)
No, I didn't.
I said that there was a poll running. Now they have closed it and announced the result. Do keep up.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:50, Reply)
Well I was thinking of the Mum/Arse thing.*
But we've dealt with that now.


*Edit: Um...that's not quite what I meant to imply.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:52, Reply)
wtf?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:48, Reply)
Even Mr Peevly was no Mr Peevly
I don't think Rupert Bear was animated but if he was he should have won.

Alt Alt: No.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:50, Reply)
There was a cartoon Rupert, but without those peculiar rhyming couplets it wasn't the same.
Noggin the Nog was pretty good, I thought.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:51, Reply)
Rupert bear was fucking shit bent and indeed a tartan trouser wearing quender

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:52, Reply)
Fuck you, you terrible cunt
not appreciating Rupert Bear is a crime
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:53, Reply)
he was a fucking fag

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:54, Reply)
i thought he ws a mouse

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:55, Reply)
No, he really was as gay as a box of scouts.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)
queer as a cunt he was

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:58, Reply)
Why does Rupert the Bear wear checked trousers?
'Cos he's a cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:04, Reply)
The Noddy cartoons were better as they contained this

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:54, Reply)
BAN HAMMER

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)
I've had all I can takes, I can takes no more.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UmOY6ek_Y4
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:58, Reply)
not allowed to watch that on my phone

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:02, Reply)
It's just "Crockett's Theme", nothing interesting.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:11, Reply)
davey crockett?

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:15, Reply)
this is what it sounds like
when doves teabag.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:54, Reply)
Who the fuck's Mr Peevly?
You know what? I don't care. He's no Mr Benn and that's all that matters.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)
Mr Benn was also an utter quender.
He even dressed like half the village people.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:57, Reply)
His full name was Mr Benn-Derr

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:00, Reply)
Ha.
He lived in Gaylord Road, didn't he?

Well, Festive Avenue, but it's close enough.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:03, Reply)
You'd know.
You live there yourself.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:29, Reply)
Bollocks
The animation on Paddington Bear was rudimentary at best.

Alt: Let's go back to that kiss
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)
I'll go the The Flumps please Bob
Paddington was a bit shit, Rupert more so.

Alt:
"DefCon Bongle, aisle 2"

Alt Alt:
No. Are you still in Katona-ville or back now?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 11:57, Reply)
I'm back yo.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:01, Reply)
Good?
Did you punch Bjork in her swan neck?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:01, Reply)
Yes. With my penis.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:04, Reply)
i remember watching him but I dont recall details
Alt I reckon itd be like kissing a backstreet boy
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:00, Reply)

street door
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:00, Reply)
whatever gets you going

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:03, Reply)
Burn

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:07, Reply)
I don't think the homosexuality of the backstreet boys needs further emphasis.
"backstreet's back" you say? backs to the wall more like.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:04, Reply)
At 4pm hopefully I'll be £1600 better off.
If it happens I'll buy all of you a drink. I won't.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:05, Reply)
by 4pm I'll be £2600 worse off
I hope this helps balance the universe.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:10, Reply)
Out of court settlements didn't help MJ's reputation
and it won't help yours
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:12, Reply)
yeah .. "paying off the plumber"
we all know what it means.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:22, Reply)
I have to admit I'm intrigued;
where's that £2,600 going, if you don't mind me asking? I mean, we know where it's going, but is it 260 shit blowjobs or 26 top-notch escorts?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:24, Reply)
Christ, "top-notch" for Norwich must be god-awful

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:29, Reply)
i don't get paid until tue
so i won't be better off until then. i have a hair/manicure appointment plus social stuff this weekend though, so i guess i'll be worse off. sigh.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:13, Reply)
Good theme music
Although I tend to prefer the more psych-folk children's TV themes (Fingerbobs, Rainbow, etc.)

Alt: George Orwell's rather different first draft for The Road to Wigan Pier

Alt alt: I still love (and overuse) this meme. Particularly when AA advised Noel to do this when that was precisely what he had been considering.
/schadenfreudelols
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:15, Reply)
He bullied Smeagol off the board and all
Behind those dopey eyes, layer of blubber and bumfluff tash lies a streak of ruthlessness
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:23, Reply)
I bet you look like James van der Beek off Dawson's Creek
Fresh-faced, clean-cut, flattering to deceive with your cold dead shark's eyes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:26, Reply)
I could never understand that programme, I only seen it once and it were some forty year old bloke pretending to be sixteen

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:28, Reply)
Like scarpe did when he murdered those fat girls?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:30, Reply)
Our very own chubby chaser from the bush

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:31, Reply)
Sounds like you understood it perfectly
Don't think we were really the target demographic
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:30, Reply)
It was awful

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:32, Reply)
American teen TV in "awful" shock
Standards be slippin' all over the house, next thing you know every band ever to come out of Manchester will be fucking shit
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:35, Reply)
He's such a horrible bully

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:26, Reply)
He's impervious to insults and his mums dead
HE@S A MACHINE
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:29, Reply)
If Paddington Bear was made today
the Daily Fail would campaign against it on the grounds that it depicted an illegal immigrant coming over here and cheating a decent British family of their hard-earned cash, probably driving down the value of their property due to the overwhelming stench of bear.

Probably. I don't know. Can I have food yet?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:18, Reply)
Ha ha ha

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:19, Reply)
someone should post this on their website

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:28, Reply)
No-one ever laughs at the Daily Fail

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:31, Reply)
the only question in that is the one i can't answer
as i have no idea who mr peevish is.

what's for lunch everyone?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:18, Reply)
STOP TALKING ABOUT FOOD

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:20, Reply)
sorry DF
i have a litre of evian and a 150 calorie peanut bar for my lunch, if that helps?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:26, Reply)
You know what, it actually does
That's quite literally the worst lunch I've ever heard of
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:26, Reply)
this detox is fucking brutal
but soooooo effective.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:27, Reply)
Not as bad as the guy who will be eating the peanuts out of her shit

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:28, Reply)
I don't know why I just posted something so disgusting there

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:28, Reply)
that is a leap i think we ALL wish you hadn't made, bluey

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:29, Reply)
Soup.
Glorious Lemongrass and Carrot Thai Soup. Glorious being the name, not the descriptor, it looks pretty foul
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:23, Reply)
oh, i've seen those in sainsburys
i thought they looked ok? hope it tastes better than you think.

of course soup is always better when it is stuffed full of melty grated cheese and sprinkled with spicy seeds and served with hot, crusty, golden garlic bread. then it doesn't really matter what's in it!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:25, Reply)
ham and cheese toasties
since the kitchen isn't finished and I'm in no state to go outside
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:24, Reply)
oh yes, plating yesterday, wasn't it?
how did it go? are you ok? i am sending you some virtual flowers.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:26, Reply)
I appear to have survived
and have all the limbs I went in with. always a bonus. fucking hurts, mind you.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:28, Reply)
i am very glad to hear it
there's enough head dobbers on here as it is!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:30, Reply)
Have some branston pickle in that.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:29, Reply)
can't
it'll fall out when I toast them
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:36, Reply)
someone gave my dad a lakeland bag for making toasties
so that he can put shit like pickle in them. he fucking loves a bit of it. it goes in teh dishwasher and everything.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:40, Reply)
Home made lasagne and steamed veg

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:29, Reply)
Change the record kiddo

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:33, Reply)
It's cheap, easy to make, lasts, and is fucking delicious.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:49, Reply)
i love lasagne. we have a senior solicitors dinner in a few weeks (our in-house catering fucking rocks)
which coincides with the end of my 100 days. as the token veggie, i got to choose the menu. so the rest of them are having smoked salmon and rib eye steaks with chunky chips, onion rings and bernaise sauce. i am having spring onion and feta cheese tartlets and roasted garlic mushroom open lasagne. why isn't there a job where you get to choose people's food all day? i would LIKE that job.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:34, Reply)
at least you've let the real humans have good food.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:35, Reply)
i know
and i picked a pudding that i hate (plum crumble with amaretto biscuit topping) so that i won't have any.

the cheeseboards we do here should be illegal though. i could easily undo the last 100 days in 100 seconds there.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:37, Reply)
Amaretto biscuits are sick and wrong
Why would you ruin a good fruit crumble like that?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:42, Reply)
cooked fruit is just WRONG in any form
crumbles and pies can all go and fuck themselves
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:44, Reply)
Apple and/or rhubard crumble is magnificent
Clearly, you're just a headwrong.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:53, Reply)
turd turd turd
stewed to taste and look like a turd.

covered in crumble.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:59, Reply)
Still better than feta

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:00, Reply)
are they fuck.
I make a vanilla and lemon baked cheesecake on a ginger and amaretti base that can drop knickers at 500 yards.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:44, Reply)
the frilly campness of the beginning of this
does not match the slutty crudeness of the end of it.

you're an enigmatic mix, badger. enigmatic.

but for the record, english un-baked cheesecakes are much much more knicker-dropping than their stodgier baked american cousins.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:45, Reply)
american cheesecakes are a different thing
baked cheesecakes should contain beaten egg white and rise like a souffle.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:48, Reply)
hmmmmmm
i am not convinced. but i remain open to convincing
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:50, Reply)
there's no stodge in it at all. you'd love it.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:51, Reply)
one day you may come to a london bash
and bring some with you. i would allow that!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:58, Reply)
I couldn't possibly allow myself
to be responsible for that level of aquaplaning, sweetie.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:02, Reply)
ha, the proof of the pudding is in the eating-out?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:12, Reply)
Sorry badge, my knickers are staying on if you include amaretti.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:47, Reply)
you fucking pricktease.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:48, Reply)
The course for people there sounds magnificent.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:52, Reply)
Spicy tomato pasta. Out of a fucking tin.
59 of the most dpressing pence I have ever spent. More depressing, even, than the 58p I spent on getting a nosh off Nakers' mum.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:34, Reply)
The Foie Gras I am having is delicious.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:36, Reply)
Did you have to get an adult to help you reach it down off the shelf?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:38, Reply)
I heard you'd been down in the dumps.
Scrabbling for leftovers.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:40, Reply)
Hahaha vg

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:44, Reply)
The animation and books of Paddington added an extra word to my extensive lexicon.
A paddington job (sometimes shortened to p job) is any piece of DIY that has gone tits up.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:21, Reply)
cf 'a bit Heath Robinson'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:27, Reply)
cf "a touch Apey"

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:34, Reply)
Fuck off Boyce.
Speaking of animations I might be buying some comic books later, as this seems to my my current mental level.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:31, Reply)
STOP BEING SO RACIST!!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:32, Reply)
STOP BEING SO JEALOUS OF CQ

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:33, Reply)
fuck you hippy.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:34, Reply)
Comics eh?
Details please
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:33, Reply)
He means grot mags

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:34, Reply)
'there's somebody at the door, there's somebody at the door'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:46, Reply)
Haha

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:51, Reply)
Don't know yet.
Only really read Sandman and some Alan More so far, looking for new stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:35, Reply)
WATCHMEN
Watchmen, Watchmen, Watchmen. It will never be bettered. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen series is pretty good too.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:36, Reply)
Alan Moore stuff included both of those
although I only have 2 books of LOEG
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:40, Reply)
Don't suppose I can tempt you into the Marvel universe?
The Dark Avengers stuff was brilliant.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:43, Reply)
Not sure I do superhero stuff as a rule.
Quite liked some grendel stuff if that helps.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:45, Reply)
It does not
You are dead to me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:47, Reply)
Hey, not a fan for men in spandex, sorry.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:49, Reply)
i thought all comics were super heros of some sort

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:48, Reply)
some are less gay than others.
I'm reading one about the 1st World War ATM with no heros
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:50, Reply)
Not necessarily
Depends whether it's strictly a comic or a graphic novel. Not that there isn't a crossover - Preacher, for example, has super-powered beings in a graphic novel, although you wouldn't call any of them heroes.

I've said too much
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:54, Reply)
you haven't said enough

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:57, Reply)
I will not debase myself by singing REM lyrics
I have standards
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:04, Reply)
I read Watchmen last weekend, I thought is was rather good.
I saw the film the week before, which was also rather good.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:37, Reply)
I bet you like to 'watch men' you filthy poove.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:38, Reply)
I'm watching you now.
And touching myself.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:42, Reply)
Read it, seen it.
agree.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:41, Reply)
'Tom of Finland'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:35, Reply)
Well that looks good in my internet search history
Thanks for that.
How do you know about these things, eh?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:41, Reply)
One of my old DJ partners was an advanced-level woofter.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:42, Reply)
STRIKETHROUGH DJ END STRIKETHROUGH SEXUAL!!!!!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:43, Reply)
SPOILER ALERT:
Wally is on the left next to the ferris wheel.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:35, Reply)
Fuck off Boyce.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:42, Reply)
Alright Colin?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:37, Reply)
Hullo John

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:42, Reply)
Got a new motor?

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:43, Reply)
Piss

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:43, Reply)
Hee hee.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:45, Reply)
I am Alexi Sayle

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:46, Reply)
How unfortunate. He is one of the least funny 'comedians' ever to have lived.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:48, Reply)
As on so much else boyce, we disagree
and I pity you.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:50, Reply)
You only like him because he is a card carrying communist
he has never and will never be funny
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:54, Reply)
You know me so well.
Actually, pretty accurate, lovely chap, quite interesting and intelligent and even funny in conversation, the less said about his 'comedy' the better.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:56, Reply)
He was the worst person on The Young Ones.
That in itself is a severely damning indictment.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:04, Reply)
I'm with you CQ, Monty knows nothing.
Edit: And neither does Nakers
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:55, Reply)
Good Lad, we need more like you.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:56, Reply)
Got a new motor?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:43, Reply)
I used to like Paddington
He wasn't as cool as Snagglepuss, but he wasn't as smug as Bagpuss.

Alt: earworming cunt.

Alt Alt: Why do stupid companies ask you to fill in stupid job application forms? Why can't they just take your CV and read it? Why do they insist on asking you to explain (with examples) why you give good customer service and what makes you a good team player?
I haven't eaten yet today, and I can't concentrate. I'm going to have some lunch and come back to it later.
Stupid job applications.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:35, Reply)
alt alt: because you touch yourself at night.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:38, Reply)
Shit.
Does that mean I should stop?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:39, Reply)
fuck no

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:40, Reply)
at least not until he's done

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:42, Reply)
I'll only be a few more minutes

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:44, Reply)
damn this plate...

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:48, Reply)
It's almost like they are looking for specific qualities
And are hoping that applicants are paying attention because they actually want this particular job, rather than firing their CV off to every single post they see advertised.
I suggest you delete your application and kill yourself.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:39, Reply)
All work-related things are tawdry and depressing.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:40, Reply)
Like your face.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:41, Reply)
I'll bet you do.
Most people do. Because I am extremely handsome.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:44, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQZmCJUSC6g
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:47, Reply)
That song is actually about me.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:48, Reply)
'You're so vain, i bet you think this song is about you'

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:51, Reply)
You fucking helmet.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:00, Reply)
I think there may have been one too many steps in irony
for Nakers to follow.

i.e. one
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:02, Reply)
Quite.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:06, Reply)
bollocks, i hadn't clicked the link...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:15, Reply)
get a room, you two

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:44, Reply)
A luggage locker would do for Battered

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:47, Reply)
Whereas the sauna at Chariots would be your choice.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:51, Reply)
I don't know what this means
You'll have to shout for me to hear you all the way up here
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:52, Reply)
I just want a job.
I don't want to have to do all the bits that prove I'm capable of doing that job.

/lazy cow
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:48, Reply)
what kind of job are you looking for?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:51, Reply)
If it's a blowjob, etc

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:51, Reply)
Serious question?
Basically, one that isn't stultifyingly boring. I know this dramatically narrows down my field.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:52, Reply)
I hear the England manager's job is available and reasonably exciting
I hope you get it, if only to see Andy Gray's head explode
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:53, Reply)
this is not much infomation: burger flipper, office worker, mechanic, optomertrist etc etc

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:53, Reply)
Something creative
Marketing, advertising, project management....

Trouble is, because I've been self-employed for ten years, I'm not very good at job applications. They terrify me.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:55, Reply)
weston might not be the best place for this...
There are some agencies in Brizzle though
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:55, Reply)
Yeah, I know.
I'd rather not have to work in Bristol though. It would add an extra three hours' commute to my day.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:57, Reply)
I suspect this is your problem.
You want a job, rather than needing one, this leaves you being pick=y in an over saturated marketplace where most everyone else is willing to debase themselves as much as necessary to get whatever's going.

Sorry to be harsh, but it sounds like it's time to either lower your standards and try harder of stick to being self-employed as that is likely more comfortable than what you will find available ATM.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:03, Reply)
She is always available for A2M.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:08, Reply)
She fucking isn't.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:10, Reply)
it's like being in church

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:11, Reply)
Should I change my name to Father Quixote?

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:12, Reply)
i'm too old and too female for you to molest
so sure
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:13, Reply)
Among other things.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:14, Reply)
pfffft
you'd cream your pants within 200000 yards and we all know it
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:16, Reply)
I have been in the same room as you and somehow managed to resist.
I am clearly gay.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:17, Reply)
I thought you were only gay for me?
HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON?!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:19, Reply)
I am sweety, stop worrying.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:22, Reply)
Darling, you turn everybody gay.
Especially the girls.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:23, Reply)
i was fatter and drunker then
you will not resist the 2012 swipe
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:23, Reply)
I'm not particularly interested in skinny women.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:25, Reply)
yeah..... you and i might have 98 problems, but that ain't ever gonna be one of them old buddy old pal

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:31, Reply)
Father Christmas more like
That way you can get little boys to sit on your lap... hang on, was this a Catholic church?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:14, Reply)
In unrelated news
Sachin Tendulkar made his hundreth international century today and fucking everyone in our offshore team is IMing me banging on about it. I'm running out of ways to be polite. I haven't seen such wide-eyed idolatry since the days of SpankyHanky
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:46, Reply)
it's taken him long enough
stupid midget
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:49, Reply)
Yes well his gap between the 99th and 100th did coincide rather with India becoming shit at cricket
Notably it was scored against Bangla-fucking-desh
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 12:52, Reply)
But enough about Battered.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:07, Reply)
Just point out the fact that next time it rains, half their families will lost everything, and hopefully die.
That should shut them up.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:09, Reply)
RACIST BULLYING

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:10, Reply)
Bumder

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:15, Reply)
HOMOPHOBIA AND USE OF SLANG

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 13:15, Reply)

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