 Off Topic
 Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
 Much as I ADORE 'tax chat'.....
	Much as I ADORE 'tax chat'.....Fucking hell. I'm tempted to start a 'revenge music thread'.
But I won't.
London Mayoral Elections: give a fuck? Have a preference? As you might imagine I favour Boris over that horrible Livingstone fellow. I've never voted in my life but the promise of getting rid of tube drivers is such an attractive one to me I am sorely tempted to give a shit for once.
Alt: Your best crab recipes please. I have a fucking massive crab at home and wondered what you'd suggest. My 'signature dish' is crab/chilli linguine but the only other thing I can think of is crab cakes.
Alt alt: Slip inside the eye of your mind, don't you know you might find, a better place to stay? You might also find me, savagely doing your mum, right up the 'Paul Gadd'. You secretly like the idea, don't you? You fucking sick cunt. I can't believe we're friends sometimes. You disgust me.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 13:46, 177 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
 You can make a crab pate.
	You can make a crab pate.Well I can, you couldn't even make a crap pate
hahahhahahahaha, cooking skillz burn
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 13:48, Reply)
 Really? Ones with personal recommendations by people I know?
	Really? Ones with personal recommendations by people I know?No there aren't, you massive spaniel.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 13:53, Reply)
 I said there were loads of crab recipes. I did not say they were recommended by people here you insufferable joey.
	I said there were loads of crab recipes. I did not say they were recommended by people here you insufferable joey.(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 13:57, Reply)
 Boris amuses me, that's why I'd keep him in there.
	Boris amuses me, that's why I'd keep him in there.Alt: None at all.
Alt Alt: You might be fucking my Mum, but you're also quoting Oasis. Either way, I get the moral high ground.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 13:50, Reply)
 Don't live in London so don't give a fuck.
	Don't live in London so don't give a fuck.And the rest of it was fuckering gibberish.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 13:50, Reply)
 The last time I had some crab meat
	The last time I had some crab meatI mixed it with some cream, garlic and white wine and made rather nommy ravioli. Rolling out your own pasta that thin is a total cunt though.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 13:51, Reply)
 I made gyoza the other day from scratch
	I made gyoza the other day from scratchThey were excellent but making dumpling wrappers is nerve wracking at best.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 13:53, Reply)
 Pork and cabbage. I fucking love the things and routinely crave them.
	Pork and cabbage. I fucking love the things and routinely crave them.No idea why. They're like little savoury parcels of crack.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 13:57, Reply)
 Their first album was great
	Their first album was greatbut then they went downhill after that.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:01, Reply)
 'Plumgyoza' is alright but it's a bit too 'sadcore' for my tastes.
	'Plumgyoza' is alright but it's a bit too 'sadcore' for my tastes.(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:07, Reply)
 I did the same thing, only with a bit of chili too, and instead of stuffing the pasta, I used it as a sauce, and I added some chopped chives.
	I did the same thing, only with a bit of chili too, and instead of stuffing the pasta, I used it as a sauce, and I added some chopped chives.(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:38, Reply)
 I really enjoyed the photo Lusty put up.
	I really enjoyed the photo Lusty put up.The poor creature looked pretty put out.
(and the crab hahahahhahahahahah no.)
However I have never eaten crab and I'm a bit wary of it. I am also pissed off that it is actually cheaper for me to catch an off peak train than it is to get a bus. I remember the days of £1 buses blah blah blah. £1.35? That's a fucking irritating number.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 13:53, Reply)
 Do you mean that you have never voted at all or just in Mayoral Elections?
	Do you mean that you have never voted at all or just in Mayoral Elections?As a non-Londoner I have no interest in who your mayor is.
Altalt: I find your quoting of Oas*s lyrics far more offensive than any violation of my mother. Please do not post such things again.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 13:53, Reply)
 I've never voted for anything at all, ever.
	I've never voted for anything at all, ever.I'm a staunch 'none of the above' man when it comes to politics.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 13:54, Reply)
 I'm always a little bit shocked when people say that they don't vote.
	I'm always a little bit shocked when people say that they don't vote.I do think that there should be a None of the Above option on the ballot paper though. And also that it should be binding - if none of the above gets the vote then none of them should take office.
This could go some way towards reducing voter apathy.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:01, Reply)
 I'd genuinely vote if there was a 'I think they're all cunts' box.
	I'd genuinely vote if there was a 'I think they're all cunts' box.I live opposite the polling station, it's not laziness or apathy. It's a genuine lack of agreement with the whole tawdry lot of 'em.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:06, Reply)
 I know of someone who votes for Arthur Scargill as a protest vote.
	I know of someone who votes for Arthur Scargill as a protest vote.(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:10, Reply)
 Alt Alt: Who are you talking to? As if you have friends
	Alt Alt: Who are you talking to? As if you have friendsAlso Alt Alt: All your opinions on music are now null and void
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 13:55, Reply)
 That is very hard to contest
	That is very hard to contestNot only a terrible lyric but a memorable and prominent one, and the opener to one of the worst songs ever written.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:03, Reply)
 Stick a pin in Oasis' discography and you will find many equally bad opening lines
	Stick a pin in Oasis' discography and you will find many equally bad opening linesAnd that particular one is from their supposed "peak" and all.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:06, Reply)
 I am genuinely befuddled by this notion that Oasis had a peak or indeed a trough
	I am genuinely befuddled by this notion that Oasis had a peak or indeed a troughThey basically repeatedly reworked two Beatles songs - a fast one and a slow one - and somehow eked out 6 or 7 albums from this, all utterly awful, totally unstinting in their shitness. So how did they have a peak?
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:08, Reply)
 I'm with you all the way on this, Trotter.
	I'm with you all the way on this, Trotter.It is why there are few music journalists I will trust.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:17, Reply)
 That, and the fact that they all talk utter hogwash in return for money.
	That, and the fact that they all talk utter hogwash in return for money.Kris Needs is an exception. Nice fellow too. Nick Kent has written some interesting stuff but is an utter, utter tosser.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:19, Reply)
 His brother Clark is an excellent writer
	His brother Clark is an excellent writerbut hardly ever seems to be at his desk
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:28, Reply)
 I do favour Boris, yes. Livingstone's a creepy git.
	I do favour Boris, yes. Livingstone's a creepy git.I generally have crab with a rice salad, plenty of garlic, black pepper and soy sauce.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 13:56, Reply)
 I want to see what the simplified tax is for buisnesses with a turnover under £77k
	I want to see what the simplified tax is for buisnesses with a turnover under £77k(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 13:56, Reply)
 If you don't cease this relentless bullying immediately I am going straight to the UBER-MODS.
	If you don't cease this relentless bullying immediately I am going straight to the UBER-MODS.(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:01, Reply)
 I'm going to be running my own super buisness soon, I need to know these things!
	I'm going to be running my own super buisness soon, I need to know these things!(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:00, Reply)
 You're going to give me a job, so I'd better pretend to give a toss too, right?
	You're going to give me a job, so I'd better pretend to give a toss too, right?(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:02, Reply)
 Yeah, I plan to use you like a canary
	Yeah, I plan to use you like a canaryand get you to pick up all the bits that look a bit asbestosy
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:04, Reply)
 That's what I was thinking.
	That's what I was thinking.I can handle a bit of the old toxicity, it seems.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:08, Reply)
 I don't give a fuck as I live in Cornwall
	I don't give a fuck as I live in CornwallI have never cooked with crab but its delicious so I am sure you will make a fine dish.
Alt. Alt. My first ever band covered that song but were were 13 or something so we were shit even without doing shit covers. Funnily enough when I slip inside I regularly see you doing my mum up the council but I can't say I like it. I am a sick cunt though, are we friends? I dunno Internet friends are all secretly old perverted men, but then you don't make a secret of it so does it count, I'm very confused, maybe I'm just very happy because my tax has been cut loads because I am a multi millionaire. Who want to come for a ride on my new horse rebekkkkka brookkes
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 13:59, Reply)
 I've been married for 5 years this month
	I've been married for 5 years this monthCan you imagine it, 5 years with no sex life.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:19, Reply)
 Is that some kind of sick joke
	Is that some kind of sick jokeI can't afford a divorce + Rent on a flat + Child support payments + loans taken out in my name.
So I am stuck.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:31, Reply)
 Yeh I'm incredibly emo about it
	Yeh I'm incredibly emo about itPah I tell you what, I couldn't give a crap, I promised Akira She-ra ManatArms that I wouldn't leave
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:49, Reply)
 Does the oven glove put out voluntarily?
	Does the oven glove put out voluntarily?Technically this is gloverape
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:49, Reply)
 Mind you that Boris plays up this harmless bumbling fool persona
	Mind you that Boris plays up this harmless bumbling fool persona but I don't believe it, he's evil I tells ya
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:01, Reply)
 i can handle bullying, but threads this dull are too much (no offence)
	i can handle bullying, but threads this dull are too much (no offence)i'm off out of here pal, there's no game for me anymore
laters, taters
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:01, Reply)
 Wooo Milton Keynes Wooo
	Wooo Milton Keynes Wooowww.mk-news.co.uk/News/Bid-to-rename-us-Milton-Keynes-Garden-City-21032012.htm
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:10, Reply)
 I'd start celebrating now.
	I'd start celebrating now.Petitions usually have the desired effect, don't they? It's in the bag!
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:14, Reply)
 I'm going to make a petition to call it
	I'm going to make a petition to call it "Milton Keynes Garden City Awesome Times Yeah"
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:15, Reply)
 Eff that!
	Eff that!This is right next to my house!!!!
www.london24.com/news/crime/gemma_mccluskie_more_body_parts_believed_to_belong_to_killed_eastenders_actress_found_in_regent_s_canal_1_1325465
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:15, Reply)
 But *what* a flavour!
	But *what* a flavour!How goes it, old bean? Saw you pop up the other day before the deleting zapped your post.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:23, Reply)
 Feeear tae hellish, pal.
	Feeear tae hellish, pal.Am ... er ... "resting" at the mo, times being hard and all - so am now off out to work on the tan, otherwise summer'll be all over and I'll still look like I'm made of the plaster of gay Paree.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:27, Reply)
 Unlucky mon.
	Unlucky mon.Well come round my house for some cheap beers one night if you fancy it.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:32, Reply)
 Cheap beers and mystery meat eh?  Goodness gracious me, what an offer.
	Cheap beers and mystery meat eh?  Goodness gracious me, what an offer.Just because one's crackpipe may have narrowed considerably doesn't (sadly) diminish one's tastes. It's all wrong, I tells ya.
What sort of beer, by the way? Just out of interest?
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:38, Reply)
 I was just proposing off license booze rather than pub.
	I was just proposing off license booze rather than pub.For the leaner times, a leaner solution.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:39, Reply)
 *moves diversion signs round*
	*moves diversion signs round*^^Don't get caught doing this kids, police don't find it half as funny as drunken you does.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:55, Reply)
 Absolutely understand.  I've been known to prop up a 'spoons bar when there's a beer festival on.
	Absolutely understand.  I've been known to prop up a 'spoons bar when there's a beer festival on.I'll consult my crowded calendar of social engagements and drop you a line. It's been far too long ...
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:44, Reply)
 Would have been better if they found three legs
	Would have been better if they found three legsthat would have confused them
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:21, Reply)
 Butter, garlic a hammer, to be eaten naked to save the washing up
	Butter, garlic a hammer, to be eaten naked to save the washing upA hammer is the only tool you should use, except maybe a chopstick. Just think how sexy and raw that would be.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:39, Reply)
 I don't live in London, so I'm not allowed to care.
	I don't live in London, so I'm not allowed to care.I'm interested in this shiny new idea about having regional mayors though. Bristol is on the potential list.
Alt: ew. You have crabs.
Alt Alt: will you leave my mum alone, you sex pest? She's had enough now.
And she's sick of you crying afterwards.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:46, Reply)
 No.
	No.My mum's skinny. I take after my dad's side of the family. Woman on that side are right heiffers.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:53, Reply)
 boris ftw
	boris ftwken is an odious little shit.
i've never cooked or eaten crab in my life. but my friend was raving about a crab risotto. although it might be you that hates risotto?
worst opening lyric ever: "now that we've caressed, a kiss so warm and tender, i can't wait til we reach, that sweet moment of surrender". pervert.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:51, Reply)
 The story of Boris chasing after the kids with a metal bar makes me laugh, every time
	The story of Boris chasing after the kids with a metal bar makes me laugh, every time(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:52, Reply)
 He's excellent.
	He's excellent.Also his 'Dream of Rome' is a well-written history book.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:58, Reply)
 I don't hate it, but as with Thai sticky rice,
	I don't hate it, but as with Thai sticky rice,I can't get over the feeling that you're deliberately fucking up the cooking of rice in a risotto.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 14:56, Reply)
 no no no
	no no noquiche is LUSH. goats cheese and roasted garlic mushroom quiche ftw.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 15:06, Reply)
 i don't like quiche either
	i don't like quiche eitheri'm not fussy or anything, sometimes its nice but it isn't my favourite
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 15:06, Reply)
 I'd rather drink a milkshake made from raw sewage and Arab's pubes
	I'd rather drink a milkshake made from raw sewage and Arab's pubesthat eat quiche.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 15:11, Reply)
 Homemade quiche is much nicer than that shit you get in the supermarket
	Homemade quiche is much nicer than that shit you get in the supermarketmind you, this can be said of many, many things.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 15:12, Reply)
 Very true
	Very trueI make a bloody lovely pasta salad, but I find supermarket ones mostly vile.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 15:14, Reply)
 I was going to send you a copy of that CD
	I was going to send you a copy of that CDI must get round to that...
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 15:15, Reply)
 Not to worry, take as long as you want, haha!
	Not to worry, take as long as you want, haha!I'm still yet to send out my Randomburns for this year, found them again recently.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 15:17, Reply)
 At primary school
	At primary schoolmy mother used to put home-made individual quiches into my packed lunches. Bin, every time.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 15:16, Reply)
 You ungrateful little shit.
	You ungrateful little shit.After starting school my son started asking why he couldn't have jam sandwiches on white bread like some of the other kids. I didn't know how to explain to a five year old that they are the pikey kids whose parents care little for nutrition.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 15:27, Reply)
 I had a similar issue with my mother.
	I had a similar issue with my mother.I wanted shitty crisps and Club biscuits, not some alfafa sprout salad bully-magnet shit. Lucky I was FUCKING NAILS and thus was never bullied.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 15:34, Reply)
 i don't like risottoe
	i don't like risottoeor jumbalyer, wtf is jumbalyer? shit is what it is
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 15:04, Reply)
 I have no idea what jumbalyer is
	I have no idea what jumbalyer isBut I can tell you that Jambalaya is a Louisiana Creole dish of Spanish and French influence.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 15:05, Reply)
 now most of the time when i tell you that you are a wrong cunt, it's forum banter
	now most of the time when i tell you that you are a wrong cunt, it's forum banterbut here? you've gone too far.
ANYTHING with rice ftw. risotto, stroganoff, jambalaya, curry, cold rice salad...
except rice pudding; that can go fuck itself right in its sloppy hole.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 15:05, Reply)
 Can we have a new thread yet
	Can we have a new thread yetAbout ladies bums or something good like that?
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 15:15, Reply)
 lies on the internet
	lies on the internetNo-one would have missed me. I am about as dull as they come
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 15:21, Reply)
 I broke a rib
	I broke a ribthat was interesting. I don't react well to Tramadol you see.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 15:27, Reply)
 You'd better start that thread about ladies bums
	You'd better start that thread about ladies bumsThis one seems to be dying.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 15:32, Reply)
 Bless you.
	Bless you.This one is no.3 in a series of 15, signed by the author.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 15:38, Reply)
 I just hope you had to google those lyrics
	I just hope you had to google those lyricsor else everything you've ever meant to me is a sham...
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 15:40, Reply)
 You can write?
	You can write?You were so born into the wrong century. You should have been a duke, like that bloke Johnny Depp played in The Libertine, you know the chap.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 15:51, Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »





