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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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i can't keep up with the excitement today
i have got the WORST cold, i feel like SHIT. which sucks in june. what are the best cold remedies? i am looking for ones along the lines of "feed a cold", provided it's "with diamonds" as my throat is too sore to swallow.

alt: which old-wives tales are bollocks, and which are true?

alt alt: LUNCH?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:12, 234 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Am I the only one here
that really doesn't care what other people are shovelling into their faces? Every single day there's a food thread.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:15, Reply)
it's an effort to be polite
i actually have cracked black pepper ryvitas and jalapeno houmous today, but my throat is saying, waaah waaaaah, too scratchy.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:16, Reply)
When you have a "replicator" and all possible foods availible to you
I guess the excitement wanes after a bit
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:16, Reply)
The weather ones tend to be correct, butnot strictly old wives tales
ie: rain before 7, clear by 11
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:17, Reply)
Stop moaning about your cold. You've already complained about it on Facebook. Enough.
AltAlt: I don't care what any of you are eating.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:20, Reply)
I'm eating an apple

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:23, Reply)
i am eating satsumas

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:23, Reply)
I'm now eating some unripe pear

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:24, Reply)
I'm still eating the satsuma

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:25, Reply)
I have now finished eating my apple and pear pieces
No east end steps were involved
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:30, Reply)
I have finished my satsuma
and now moving onto the second. I have a cup of tea, too
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:31, Reply)
I can only get "machine tea" :(

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:33, Reply)
almost, but not entirely
completely unlike tea
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:34, Reply)
We have a kettle in the office.
We couldn't have one in my old place, apparently due to health and safety.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:36, Reply)
nowhere in the whole college is allowed a microwave in our place
because someone in my office (not me, for once) burnt a baked potato and set off the fire alarms (incurring £3000 bill from the fire brigade)
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:39, Reply)
We also have a microwave and toaster.
It sounds like people in your college are a few pages short of the full book.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:41, Reply)
The fact that they're Welsh is entirely coincidental

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:44, Reply)
I'm sure.
Although I'm convinced the entire country are thick the way they wents nuts for watching a few boats in the rain.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:45, Reply)
All the ones about how to make a baby come early....
eat curry, have sex, drive down rough roads etc. All cobblers.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:23, Reply)
lying shoe fixing bastards

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:24, Reply)
In my case...
Three measures of Bells, juice of a lemon, three tablespoons of honey, and add boiling water.

For lunch, I had a ham salad sandwich.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:25, Reply)
I'm going to Majorca tomorrow, the weather will be around 28 degrees for the week
I doubt I'll get a cold
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:26, Reply)
I got the flu during the last heat wave.
Now that sucked.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:27, Reply)
you are clearly an inferior human being
I suggest you DYAAKY to prevent your weak genes from spreading
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:29, Reply)
Alas, the meaning of DYAAKY eludes me.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:30, Reply)
delete your account and kill yourself

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:32, Reply)
Ah.
I don't have the access to do the former, nor the desire to do the latter.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:34, Reply)
try really hard

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:36, Reply)
That's the same attitude he has to having sex
and he hasn't managed that yet either.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:38, Reply)
Oh hello Al.
You couldn't strike further from the mark if you were blindfolded old chap.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:39, Reply)
THE LUGGAGE IS A SEX GOD !!!!
FEAR MY SPUNK OF WRATH
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:41, Reply)
He's had so much sex I heard even that old guy with the helicopter and the readers wives model for a wife was jealous.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:42, Reply)
Who what?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:45, Reply)
if only more pricks on here would do exactly that

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:31, Reply)
Do exactly what?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:32, Reply)
Lose their virginities.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:38, Reply)
i did
but it grew back
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:40, Reply)
Yeah like this unaccessorised blanket of yours is really going to help in this regard

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:43, Reply)
i fully intend to cover it in braiding and
off cuts of furs very soon. This should assure me getting some
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:45, Reply)
That shit is picked up during psychiatric reviews

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:50, Reply)
You should be more like BGB and just let anyone have a go.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:43, Reply)
Sleep is the best thing for a cold.
Lots of fluids, lots of paracetamol, and a nice warm bed or sofa.

If you're being a martyr and struggling through, then substitute the bed for caffeine tablets.

Actually, Day Nurse and Night Nurse are excellent. One keeps you awake, the other helps you sleep.

Alt: i love that one about burying half a potato in the garden to cure warts.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:26, Reply)
There is no struggling through a cold, it is hardly even an illness
MTFU
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:27, Reply)
It is, though.
If it impairs your health and your normal function, then it is.
And if you drag your cold into work and infect everyone else, you're doing your employers no favours in terms of productivity.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:31, Reply)
THIS is exactly what my boss says
however as we are v short staffed this week and i have my office to myself, i am shutting the door and getting on with it :(
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:39, Reply)
FIx
Neocitran (not sure you can buy it in the UK) in hot water, caffeine based drink, lots of really good fresh (non concentrate) orange juice and comfort food (Pie, pasty, sausage roll/kebab etc) oh and 9 hrs sleep.
(I helped save b3ta! b3tz, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:27, Reply)
Ooh.
have I got a sockpuppet now?

That's so cool.

*yawns*
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:32, Reply)
Alt alt: barbecue belly pork, lemon thyme rice and salad feat leaves and herbs grown by me*
*by Lusty

Jolly nom it was too. In other news, I'm giving my kid a pirate costume inc hook hand, eye patch and cutlass, a Capt Pugwash DVD and a box set of Paddington Bear books for her birthday. That's enough, isn't it? It's going to fucking well have to be.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:27, Reply)
+ her mothers corpse
then you'll be on track
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:28, Reply)
*daydreams, and not for the first time*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:30, Reply)
I suggest starting her early in life and getting her a gram of cocaine. If she doesn't want it then that's a result for you.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:29, Reply)
Great idea
*cancels Amazon orders*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:34, Reply)
You fucking cheapskate bastard.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:30, Reply)
Eff off.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:30, Reply)
of course it is

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:32, Reply)
+ [!]

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:33, Reply)
kids have no concept of "how much" anyway
as i discovered to my cost, having spent a small fortune on the nieces/nephew, to realise in hindsight that the £1 whoopee cushion was the most popular present by a LONG way.

however, now the nephew is 7, my god he is conscious about things being "cool". he asked for a bloody ted baker suit for his 7th!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:37, Reply)
What an insufferable little cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:40, Reply)
ha!
it sounds it. he's actually the sweetest, most easy-going kid ever, but all his mates have them.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:41, Reply)
That reminds me
I had an idea that may help you with psycho bitch and the CSA. Or probably won't. But might.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:34, Reply)
Oh aye?
I'm still waiting for my meeting re overnight stays. Now three weeks since she agreed to discuss it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:34, Reply)
Alt: I used to employ a fantastic lad named Omar whose family hailed from Pakistan.
One day he came in, having spent the previous evening with family, and announced 'it really is true that Asians smell'.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:29, Reply)
I don't know about some Asians
But my old Japanese teacher used to reek of vinegar and soy sauce. Never could understand why.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:31, Reply)
I am told that to the Chinese we all stink of off milk/cheese.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:33, Reply)
because we eat dairy, while their is mostly fish
or at least in japan it is, china's all rice and noodles innit
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:33, Reply)
Quite so.
No such thing as Japanese cheese, that I'm aware of. Nor Chinese, but this might just be ignorance on my part.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:35, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sakura_cheese
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:44, Reply)

www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-18102880
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:45, Reply)
shut your filthy whore mouth

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:48, Reply)
daddy? is that you?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:57, Reply)
yep

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:58, Reply)
excellent
gimme cash
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:01, Reply)
Well I never.
The Jap one sounds rather nice, too.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:54, Reply)
i thought that too
as did the meal served up in the chinese house (apart from the stinking pork). but i could totally get on board with potatoes with slivers of chilli and stir fried cubes of goats cheese and rice.

of course, whatever i got on board would sink, after i ate all that.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:57, Reply)
Given the amount of dairy we have in our diet.
I'm not surprised.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:35, Reply)
like i said
diet, you fat prick
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:37, Reply)
h'll need to excercise as well

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:38, Reply)
funny!
NAKED APE CLICK FOR NAKED APE
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:40, Reply)
\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:46, Reply)
I fail to see
how the exercise requirements of ex-members of Steps are relevant here.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:41, Reply)
HAHA!

(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:46, Reply)
i can assure you now
that i smell only of jo malone
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:37, Reply)
I didn't know Jo Malone did off milk/cheese.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:39, Reply)
THATS THE ILLITERATE JOKE

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:40, Reply)
he was in that film with the gangster kids

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:41, Reply)
So does Kroney.

(berk, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:46, Reply)
That's not Jo Malone, I fear.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:48, Reply)
I don't think Jo Malone
does an Eau de camembert and garlic.
(berk, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:50, Reply)
Or an 'Eau de partly-defrosted stool'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:53, Reply)
hahaha
that was bloody funny
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:48, Reply)
or Joey Ramone

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:48, Reply)
diet
you fat prick
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:33, Reply)
not to mention lazy and inefficient, except the women

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:33, Reply)
You got it.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:33, Reply)
Lemon, Ginger, Whisky and hot water.
And I've had some pasta cake for lunch, I have an amazing stir fry I made last night but I'm gonna have that for dinner tonight instead.

I bought Gok Wan and Heston at Home books a few days ago, I forgot about ordering the heston one. And some posh earphones that cost like 80 quid. And yesterday I bought my mum a set of 3 wireless house phones because she's said for a few weeks that shes wanted to get some and I thought I could use the brownie points.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:37, Reply)
what were you saying about being stuck in your overdraft?
edited for Monty
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:39, Reply)
That's not English.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:40, Reply)
it's what he was said about his overdraft stuck in with it though.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:41, Reply)
OH, NOW I GET IT!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:43, Reply)
I believe it was "sorry I can't come for pizza with you all"

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:42, Reply)
YES! THIS!!!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:46, Reply)
It's almost as if its possible to have flucuations in finances that comes about with getting a new job

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:48, Reply)
yeah i remember you saying you got paid
its like these pricks don't pay attention
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:48, Reply)
what?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:55, Reply)
Typical, the one mondain detail in my life I don't tweet/FB about, and it's the only thing that gets picked up on.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:07, Reply)
what were you saying about being A SNEAKY NINJA CUNT?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:43, Reply)
Surely a ninja is sneaky by definition?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:44, Reply)
Normal ninjas are.
But when you try and be a ninja you actually look like this:

(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:46, Reply)
I bet you think he's dead
well he's not, he's waiting. Waiting for you too get to close, then...BOOM, you're dead.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:47, Reply)











(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:49, Reply)
POTD

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:51, Reply)
Shake shake, shake shake the room

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:54, Reply)
i prefer the trombone one
www.pearldrummersforum.com/attachment.php?s=094027b649d91fd1ad692cf72bb22bb1&attachmentid=131879&stc=1&d=1116146632
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:49, Reply)
I think you should make that bigger

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:54, Reply)
yes
this is extremely helpful for people with a REAL JOB

oh ffs quentin, now i look like a whiney old cunt
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:55, Reply)
he is worse than teh children of Hitler and Jedward

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:56, Reply)
haha-eeeow

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:58, Reply)
Jedler!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:58, Reply)
Yeah could you make that a little larger please?
It's not *quite* VISIBLE FROM THE FUCKING MOON.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:55, Reply)
i'm not one of these nerdy types who can do code to make things smaller
stop bulliying me :'(
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:58, Reply)
I can't help it. You're just such a natural victim type.
Soz.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:59, Reply)
i'm like if AA and bob had a baby

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:00, Reply)
That is one of the worst mental images this site has ever thrown up.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:06, Reply)
i think they'd be a lovely couple

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:17, Reply)
If you mean about the pizza, that was the day before I got paid I was so far into my overdraft that I was beyond it.
then two days later I got paid again, OH BOY.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:47, Reply)
I just got up so I had porridge.
Now we're watching Alfred Hitchcock films. Currently on Rear Window.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:43, Reply)
That is my favourite film of all time.
TRUFAX
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:59, Reply)
Mine is 'Performance', since you asked.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:59, Reply)
I didn't, but thanks.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:01, Reply)
No one asked you either, love.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:01, Reply)
*cries*
Internet bullying RIGHT HERE
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:04, Reply)
A good hot, spicy curry or chili.
And hot water/scotch/lemon juice/honey. I find these 2 make you feel a bit better, even if you're not actually "curing" it. Lol, swallow.
Alt, "take care of the pennies, and the pounds will take care of themselves". What bollocks.
Alt alt, chicken and chickpea curry, new pots and basmati, green beans. Rock 'n' roll or what.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:48, Reply)
hot tottie
By usher
Phwooooaaaarrrrr
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:50, Reply)
Usher's hairline upsets me really quite a lot.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:51, Reply)
i dont care about it
I want to rub my face on his stomach
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:54, Reply)
I'm amazed you even know what he looksm like

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:55, Reply)
who wouldnt
He's a sex God riding a unicorn on the beach at sunset
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:57, Reply)
He's gay?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:58, Reply)
^ jealous ^

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:59, Reply)
not really, the police don't pull me over for stop and search

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:01, Reply)
Well, not since they legalised homosexuality and spasticity.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:04, Reply)
i like this

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:05, Reply)
just when I thought we were friends :(

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:06, Reply)
How can you be friends, she didn't almost drive five hours to meet you in new york city and then drop out at the last minute.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:10, Reply)
im never almost meeting anyone from here again >:(

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:12, Reply)
I hope you tell Labs where you'll be and then don't turn up but leave a note saying "Soz, too busy to meet you"

(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:14, Reply)
bahaha
Jokes on you, I can't meet him, he's too pretty, I wouldn't be able to look him in the face
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:18, Reply)
I'm in Virginia next year and I am fucking well meeting you whether you like it or not.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:23, Reply)
if only to rub it in al's face

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:26, Reply)
Oh I do that all the time.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:27, Reply)
Lusty likes it when he does it front of her.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:33, Reply)
A sex god with a geometrically precise and rather too low than is normal hairline.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:00, Reply)
He's Wayne Rooney?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:01, Reply)
I'm afraid so, yes.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:02, Reply)
just because you've got hair like polamalu doesn't mean everyone enjoys it

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:04, Reply)
I just looked that up
and it's true.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:06, Reply)
I wish it were.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:09, Reply)
My cousen is in LA at the moment on the E3 convetion - it's a huge video game convention where they show off what the next year will bring in.
He was on a huge hangover and jetlag at the Microsoft presentation where Usha came along and done one of his songs, he said it was the worst 5 minutes of his life.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:30, Reply)
I've finished my second satsuma

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:01, Reply)
They have fruit in Wales? Wow.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:04, Reply)
H from Steps is one.
Today's /OT has apparently been brought to you by the letters 'H' and 'from Steps'.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:08, Reply)
I wonder how much juice I can get from orange-related puns?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:05, Reply)
more than the juice you get from the ladies

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:08, Reply)
Probabaly more than the success you've had with ladies.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:09, Reply)
wait did someone delete something?
i replied here and its gone :(

it was a really good pun about a man, darlin'
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:10, Reply)
I was going to mention the ladies
but I appear to have been 'pipped' at the post here!!!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:10, Reply)
I'm a bit 'pithed' off about it, too!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:11, Reply)
I might 'a-peel' to the mods!!!111!!!!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:11, Reply)
You'd be better off killing yourself.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:12, Reply)
he could commit satsumicide!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:12, Reply)
I don't think this is what he had in mind when he started his pun thread

(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:12, Reply)
it's alright, i'm sure he's sorry-ento!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:13, Reply)
you couldn't be further from the truth

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:14, Reply)
he's had sex loads of times

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:14, Reply)
WITH HIS HAND !!!

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:14, Reply)
and a pint glass filled with mince and and an egg

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:16, Reply)
^ worryingly specific

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:17, Reply)
WHy does he need the egg?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:18, Reply)
eggy lube

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:18, Reply)
No fucking idea.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:21, Reply)
I posted this before, but it bares repeating.
He's had so much sex I heard even that old guy with the helicopter and the readers wives model for a wife was jealous.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:17, Reply)
He's probably swimming the channel as we speak, the old cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:17, Reply)
I wish I knew who you were on about.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:28, Reply)
We are talking about you.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:32, Reply)
I think you have me mistaken for someone else.
No idea who, like.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:33, Reply)
His name is/was Captain Hood-Butter
and he was the worst poster in B3ta history
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:33, Reply)
How so?
Freefayre was pretty bad.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:36, Reply)
But Freefair was only 14 and thus had an excuse as to not having got his knob wet.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:40, Reply)
this sounds personal :(

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:17, Reply)
The Luggages virginity is one of the most personal things about him.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:18, Reply)
wtf is the luggage? i thought we were on about quinten

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:20, Reply)
Who else has started ignoring you?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:20, Reply)
Or is it someone has stopped ignoring you?
I can't remember what your magic number was.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:21, Reply)
it's fluctuating

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:22, Reply)
i dunno some pricks on links
but someone on talk just took me off ignore, with sexy results
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:21, Reply)
Did you immediatly post a nude photo of you and your mrs?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:22, Reply)
i have no nude photos of her
but loads of me if you like, they're about as tasteful as a teaspoon of harry monk
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:22, Reply)
you mean you had a wank when you found out?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:23, Reply)
i tried to rub out a second but my heart wasn't in it

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:25, Reply)
I have a whole o-range of different puns!!!!!!!!!111!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:14, Reply)
you did delete didn't you?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:15, Reply)
you've got a real zest for this

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:11, Reply)
I'm tired from all these puns,
I think I'd better sit-rus down!!!!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:13, Reply)
Chill out, it's no skin off your nose

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:12, Reply)
I am a bit chilly actually,
due to the inclement-ine weather!!!!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:15, Reply)
This Seville-ere weather is awful

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:17, Reply)
I can't marmalade my cock up your mum's arse.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:12, Reply)
Paddington gave the man one of his hard stares, and put down his toast

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:12, Reply)
That's why she was called Mrs Brown?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:22, Reply)
I love this joke so much.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:13, Reply)
Max Strength Lemsip always helps me when I've got a cold
It's compulsory when I've got work to do, as I can't focus otherwise.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:18, Reply)
In completely unrelated news
I was watching someone from the BBC interviewing a blind guy about carrying the olympic torch, and he said "You've been watching the torch's progress, haven't you?"

*belms*
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:21, Reply)
you don't have to be blind to be registered blind

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:22, Reply)
there's also the 'minds eye'

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:22, Reply)
it's also just a figure of speech really

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:23, Reply)
b3ths been trapped in her house too long

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:23, Reply)
Well, that's true.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:24, Reply)
63st and it's all mum's fault

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:25, Reply)
Don't worry b3th I'll send you a Domino's 16 inch with pepsi
you don't even have to say thanks
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:28, Reply)
there's even those blinds like they have in venice
roman blinds i think they're called
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:23, Reply)
and blondes, blondes can be blind and blinds can be blonde
crazy world
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:24, Reply)
he could also make high pitched squeaks and 'see' sonar or some shit
i saw that on scarpes favourite film Daredevil
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:25, Reply)
oh man i love colin farrell in that film

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:28, Reply)
and the japanese one

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:23, Reply)
the one eyed trouser snake lol

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:24, Reply)
thats a bit racist, calm yourself there noel2

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:24, Reply)
noels infected this board with his horrific racism

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:26, Reply)
its very catching
like all that AIDs the africans have got
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:27, Reply)
And teh gays.
Don't forget the gays.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:30, Reply)
sorry but i think its a bit racist of you to assume that all africans are gay
shame on you b3th
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:32, Reply)
and tyhe brown one

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:25, Reply)
of 'Van Morrison' fame

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 14:26, Reply)

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