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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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New thread.I'm in hospital getting some stuff pumped into me, got any hospital tales?
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 14:52,
199 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
Only if you say 'wavy lines'(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 14:54,
Reply)
I had salomella as a child and was bedridden in hospitaland it got struck by lightning and so the firealarm went off for about an hour from 11pm until midnight. It wasn't great.
(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 14:54, Reply)
I genuinely couldn't read that theresalomella sounds horrible
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 14:56,
Reply)
Most the time I was delirious so it wasn't that bad.For about 18months afterwards I was allergic to a whole bunch of stuff.
(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 14:58, Reply)
No, but it turns out my brain is fine, after I got my results yesterday(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 14:54,
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To be sureWait no... didn't work this time.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 14:57,
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I would but her gangster boyfriend might get meAnd she doesn't post anymore.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:02,
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It's suprising how many false negatives neurological tests give out.(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 14:56, Reply)
IndeedThe Kilospoon was strong in my previous attempt
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:07,
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I am surprised the machine was able to penetrate matter of that density.(
Kroney, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:01,
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Sperm?I was complimented on my elbow wounds when getting them stitched as they were caused by deflecting a vodka and coke thrown at me by my ex-mental-girlfriend
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 14:55,
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I just watched Interior SemioticsWhat the fuck is wrong with Hipsters. Not one of them laughed and then they all clapped and cheered! Fucking idiots
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Peej, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 14:56,
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It really makes you think though, eh?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:15,
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Every time I've been to hospital it's been because of somebody elseFirst time was when somebody did a cry-for-help suicide attempt. That was fun.
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Kroney, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:00,
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Did you hurt your back lifting them out of the noose?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:02,
Reply)
They necked a bottle of pills.Women always go for the poison.
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Kroney, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:03,
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Yeah that Holsten is fucking DISGUSTING(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:38,
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Spent the first year of my life in hospital, then a year in foster care before being ripped from my country and brought to England... Oh God where's the shotgun?
(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:01, Reply)
A Romanian orphanageBlue Peter took pity on him, when he out grew his cage
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:12,
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Did you check all this?.......(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:14,
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TO BE SURE!!!!11!!!eleventy!!!1!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:18,
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I have been tempted to try and find out a bit more but don't have a great deal of information to go and apart from my original name and date of birth. I don't have access to anything else and not sure if I want to know.
(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:23, Reply)
I wouldn'tThe people who raised you are your parents
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:26,
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Yeah definitely, but it's one of those things that sits at the back of your mind then sporadically reminds you that there might be people out there who are direct relations.
(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:29, Reply)
I dont think I'd want to know(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:32,
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you were chosenSo you're better than other people...
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:45,
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They probably shipped you out before you could wail on the priests for buggering you(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:14,
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It was frozen by Kroney(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:17,
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Get off on his sick little hobby.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:19,
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Until spunk flew out of his knobby(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:19,
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When I was having my toenail removed, they stuck me on a ward with old peopleThat was hideous, they all looked moments from death.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:07,
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Sup DDSorry I have none at all, I’ve never had a broken bone or been operated on. It’s just not fair I so wanted to contribute to this post. OOOoooooohhhhh…………..
*Am I allowed to make up stuff?
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:09,
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No way I'm saving that one just for me*privateryanlolz*
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:12,
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I got the shit kicked out of me when I was 19I had to go to the eye infirmary where they managed to prise open my eye to get my contact lens out and also confirm it hadn't popped or blinded me. FUN!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:11,
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Battered strikes again(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:14,
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Cuban heeled stilts(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:22,
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Yeah sorry about thatWe'd had a few drinks. High jinks and all that...
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:14,
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A friend of mine got a serious battering and was in hospital for almost a month. They broke his leg so we used to wheel him out to the forest area for a dooby every evening. He was pissing and shitting through a tube for a while.
(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:16, Reply)
Fractured cheekbone and eight stitches in my eye(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:17,
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I viciously walked down my own street(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:19,
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The fat cunt next to me is eating microwaved mashwith salad cream, it fucking stinks.
(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:19, Reply)
WTF?Salad cream on mashed potato. Smash their fucking face into it
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:20,
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Peel him with your metal knives(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:22,
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mustard and cheese for mashed potato, hes a wrong un spill his pint(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:24,
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surprisingly, as I'm such a mouthy and irritating prickI have never been physically attacked. Last time I came close was in a Morrison's supermarket, some cunt walked in to my trolley and had a go at me. I told him to fuck off and if he didn't want to look like a prick in public he should have stayed at home and looked like a prick there instead. He looked like he was going to punch me so I just walked away.
True story.
(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:24, Reply)
Needs more roundhouse kicks(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:26,
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there was no violence involved.Just a mouthy wanker and the other guy.
(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:28, Reply)
I'd have put you down. Then made you eat microwave mash and salad cream out of my arse crack.
(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:26, Reply)
I've only ever been properly attacked onceWhich was fun.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:26,
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I would have reacted badly to that. One Barry leaves, another rises in his place.
(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:27, Reply)
srsly, the best bit was walking awayHe must have been frustrated as fuck.
(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:29, Reply)
I would have at least lobbed the heaviest thing in my trolley at you, can of beans to the back of the head.
(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:30, Reply)
They probably think 'I couldn't hit a child'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:40,
Reply)
Someone put something in their bag,the bag started smoking, they rang the rozzas.
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The rozzers called out the armyM6 closed for five hours, everybody on the bus searched.
Fake cigarette.
lol
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Kroney, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:34,
Reply)
last time i had sex i ended up in hospital, twice in 3 days and twice to the doctor the next week They didn't do much other than give me pain meds and charge me.a grand per visit
Never having sex again
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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:32,
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Back door hinge failures are expensive(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:33,
Reply)
maximum roffle.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:20,
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Who were you fucking?Shergar?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:33,
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Last time I was in hospital Gabby Logan came round doing some charity thing for sport reliefand she gave me a soapy handjob under the covers.
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Peej, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:33,
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Her nose looks like a witches(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:34,
Reply)
Gaby sucked me off in the Mathew Street Subway in Liverpool. True Story.
(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:40, Reply)
you're supposed to end that sentence with another lie about biscuits(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:45, Reply)
That story is the true story that no-one believesSo I roll it out every so often. I'm not sure how I can prove it without getting them to do it again on camera.
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Peej, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:47,
Reply)
DAMMIT I WANT BISCUIT LIESI COULDN'T GIVE A MONKEYS ABOUT YOU GETTING YOUR DICK WET
(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:47, Reply)
I designed the Garibaldi biscuit(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:49,
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I can eat 8 jaffa cakes in one go!jaffacakesarentbiscuitslols!
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Peej, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:49,
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Had my L4, L5 & S1 vertebrae fused together ten years ago. Was off work for 3 months and had to be taught to walk again.As a result my spine has a load of titanium in it & looks like this:
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:42,
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It doesn't have enough bone in it(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:43,
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I hope "taught to work again" was on purpose(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:48,
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Oops. Meant to type walk. Will edit.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:53,
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No, leave itIt's better that way
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:54,
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To cure thisen.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spondylolysis
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:57,
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The real tragedy is that he was 6'3 before the operation.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:59,
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Battereds a TerminatorNow it all makes sense
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:01,
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Flounces saying I'll be back(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:03,
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COMBATHyper alloy COMBAT chassis. God, you're such an IDIOT. Super chassis doesn't even make any SENSE. You're worse then HITLER.
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Kroney, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:08,
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THIS^ is why he flouncedI'LL BE BACK
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:02,
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Stop trying to steal my thunder cow(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:03,
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Give me udders beyond udders(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:10,
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I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle!"Have you got anything with a heel?" oh and a cushion for the seat so I can see over the handlebars
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Peej, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:06,
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You've written heal instead of heel.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:14,
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He'll feel a fool nowLOL!!!!
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:15,
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Because of the wonderful things he does?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:59,
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True story this timeWhen I was in hospital there was an old guy across from me clearly moments from death. 3 days later he went home as all that was wrong with him was a urinary tract infection. I however had to stay for 12 days. Even the guy who had a double knee replacement walked out after two days. Old cunts can fuck off.
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Peej, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 15:46,
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She went to the school down the road from mine, fact fans.They were our sworn enemies, so no handjob for me :(
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:03,
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+ because my penis is too small for anyone to grasp.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:06,
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It's all he ever thinks about.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:10,
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I think the diminutive size of my penis was pretty irrelevant.It was enough of a challenge to get a girl of my own age who attended the same school as me.
She was three years older and went to a different school.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:10,
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Once when he was very littlemy brother had a stone stuck in his ear and had to go to hospital to have it taken out. Next morning, after he finally gets his way in the 'Going Live is better than whatever ITV shit you're watching' argument with some other kids, he turns over to BBC1 where at that very moment Philip Schofield reads out my name as a winner in a competition.
Strange weekend
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:16,
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none of itit was the 2nd greatest weekend of my childhood, after the time we opened the frosties and found not one, not two but NINE Tony the Tiger reflectors!
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:19,
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the lies which lace the internetmean that people are blind and death to the light of truth and rightness
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:58,
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Not well. That's why he's in hospital.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 16:25,
Reply)
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