Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Best thing you ate or drank this weekend?Alt: ever sharted in public? I bet you have. I bet you enjoyed it as well. Filthy cunt.
AltAlt: I don't care about your lunch. Twat.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:34,
166 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
I sharted in your wife's cuntwanker
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:38,
Reply)
She told me how small your genitals were and how you smelled of Domino's pizza and stale sweat.cock
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:39,
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she told me you just have a small clit and smell of campbell's vegetable soup.prick.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:41,
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She also mentioned to you that you were wearing 5 crucifixes and muttering about needing more Jesus in your pitiful Scottish existence.twat
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:53,
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I put some of the fucking holy spirit into her and no mistake.I sure nailed her to a cross.
wanker.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:56,
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I hope you enjoyed your cake on Saturday(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:41,
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Steak. Medium rare with garlic butter. Alt: once, when ill and not within running distance of a bog.
altalt: cock
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:38, Reply)
Steak and Ale pie with mushroom and smoked bacon inServed with Dauphnoise potato
Alt:
I just managed to make one of our Customer Services girls almost shart in Sainsburys by creeping up on her and annoucing she was under arrest
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:41,
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I had a car full of guys do that thingwhere they drive past you whilst you're walking and scream out the window out you.
Usually I jump a mile at sudden noises but this time I didn't and I stared at the guy and he was all like ":("
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Kroney, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:43,
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you should have gesticulated wildly while smoking a gitane(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:44,
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ah told im iz wine was like ze pizz of an old geriatric nun with a bladder infection.zat told im!
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:46,
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I fucking love the Pink Panther films(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:53,
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not the remake though, that was a right abortion.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:55,
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I do not accept Steve Martin(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:57,
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Why does kato look like cat from red dwarf?(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:38,
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Was it due to your beheading on Saturday?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:44,
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One of your really hard stares?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:44,
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christ almighty julian clary, give it a rest!(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:42,
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spellingz peduntryz is well LOZ.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:48,
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so stop playing up to it then.bender.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:53,
Reply)
yes but it don't bover me ut al aboot the spllingzyou seem to join in with the gay jokes one minute then get all flounce the next.
make up your mind woman!
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:08,
Reply)
The gay jibes don't bother meI'm just pointing out that they're so yesterday you might as well be rocking a mullet and playing Final Fantasy VIII*
*Cos VII was good enough to warrant playing again, you see
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:13, Reply)
A good lasagna is a true joy/Garfield
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:46,
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There appears to be a contradiction between your main question and your AltAltThe best thing I ate this weekend was today's lunch.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:47,
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Made myself a veggie dansak on Saturday night, that was fucking lovelyMs Foxtrot never gets to try my curries as they usually have fish in them, and I bet she never will again. She looked like a dragon had taken up residence in her head.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:48, Reply)
Make one generic curry sauce then split itPimp one half with meat and chillis
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:50,
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fuck that, the miserbale bitch can learn to like fish.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:52,
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does this also answer the shart question?(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:51,
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One of your number two a day(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:55,
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In other newsI noticed that rail tickets for travel to London in September are dirt cheap at the moment.
If only there was something to do when there.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:52,
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If there were some details available about this bashI could make some plans about getting there.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:04,
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What do you think you need to know?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:22,
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I don't knowI just wanted some attention.
Looking again at the calendar I see that there is a time on it (which I hadn't noticed before) and Monty has already given a rough location for the venue, so I think I probably know all I need to know.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:29,
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Just had a guy perch on my desk without askingIs it unreasonable of me to find this rude?
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Kroney, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:52,
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Go all Tour De France on him and scatter your desk with tacks(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:53,
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Yes, considering how rude you French types normally are.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:54,
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just ignore him unless he pronounces every word correctly.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:54,
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Was he talking to you or someone else?if it was someone else, you would have been wewll within your rights to stab him witha pencil
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:10,
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Zut alors!make a complaint to HR and then go on strike until he is fired
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:12,
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It's difficult because he wasoccupying my desk. I had a powerful urge to collaborate with him.
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Kroney, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:13,
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Some nice single malts.I tend to keep off the spirits, but these were too nice.
Ardgeg, an Islay one, a 15 year old Speyside, and Dalwhinnie, for you connoisseurs.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:53, Reply)
I quite like Dalwhinnie.I was drinking Auchentoshan this weekend.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:55, Reply)
Every time you mention that it sounds like a German porn move(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:56,
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a pasta and beans thingI made it myself as well.
How are you cunts, today? Why is it STILL FUCKING RAINING?
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:55,
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I wore my new sunglassesSORRY
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:55,
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fuck you, buddyput on your new cagoule tomorrow kthnx
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:58,
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because mother earth is on her periods.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:59,
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More "rubbish is worth loadsa money" newswww.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-18831180
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:56, Reply)
turned all japanese on sat, it was fucking lushif anyone is around the chelsea/kensington area at any point and wants japanese, you have to go.
alt: of course not. i'm not YOU.
altalt: tough shit. i have spicy moroccan vegetable soup from eat. about time too, as i did 90 mins in the gym before work, and i could eat a monkey's miscarriage.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:56,
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japanese is well nice.didn't someone shart on you?
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 12:58,
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it really waswe had sushi and tempura and noodles and lots of sake
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:05,
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I like beef cha-han, it's damn tasty.small japanese restaurant in the town is well rockin, mini-mmps loves it too.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:06,
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no, that's desert you fucking cretin.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:18,
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the dinner date had something along those linesloved it. and crabs. something with crabs in.
vegetarian shudders.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:19,
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Too obvious not to post, sorryAll your up-close cloppergazzes show no crabs
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:26,
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I thought I'd let you post that(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:38,
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i don't think there is anyone here who regrets this conversation(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:42,
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This is good as swipe was a beard for a while(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:28,
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like they'd let you into londondon't be silly
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:18,
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not after last time anyway.But they haven't kicked you out yet. Only a matter of time.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:26, Reply)
avacado, mango and prawn starter at the wedding i went to was lovelyalt: yes, I had to walk my bike a mile home
altalt: i had a philidelphia marmite and cucumber sandwich, and a ham, salami and salad sandwich and your mum.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:10,
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Ham hock and mature cheddar todayIn your fucking face, cucumber boy
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:28,
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I choose to read this as you insulting yourself(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:30,
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I read it like you want to insert vegetables into mebender
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:31,
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JMG!Ape wants you inside him
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:31,
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It's a bit depressing that the nicest thing I ate this weekend was a sandwich.Edit: It was a mature cheddar, salami, jalapeño hummus and salad sandwich, though.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:16,
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sandwiches are often underrated(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:20,
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This^I had a fucking lovely steak sarnie last week
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:24,
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more apeloverage lols - well, ok, lol is a bit strongwww.b3ta.com/questions/burninhell/post1674279
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:20,
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I don't know, "Prince Charles"(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:27,
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put them in your ears, not up your arse.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:28,
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I'm off to the gym, I shall report back how the headphones perfrom(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:32,
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make sure and txt me too. chrs m8(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:33,
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I find in-ear ones get uncomfortable quite quickly, it's why I shifted to over ear ones.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:49,
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Which is your preferred brand of waterproof trousers?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:55,
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hi guysjust wanted to ask if you could turn the lols up a bit today, it's been a bit lol-lite on the board this morning and i'd like you to buck your ideas up
(, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:41, Reply)
I was just about to ask where you was(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:42,
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b3ta is rationed to one LOL a day.those pricks on /board use it up by posting gifs of jedi's knocking shit over.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:45,
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A gigantic pile of elephant dung, falling through the enclosure bars and burying a toddler on his first zoo visit.AND, get this, right, IT'S ALL OBI-WAN'S FAULT!!! WHAT A CUNT!!!
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:56,
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Had a lovely piece of salmon yesterday.Not had it in ages, so it made a nice change.
Alt: Does in a pub bathroom count as public? If so, yes.
AltAlt: Picked up a cooked chicken from Tesco, had a couple of sandwiches, going to take the carcass home tonight, make soup. Any suggestions people can give me will be appreciated.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:46,
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onions celery and carrots OBVS.(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:47,
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Is celery a must?I can't stand the stuff.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:48,
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Only for the stock then you can drain or blend.(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:49,
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Stock is better with it in.Adds a peppery note to it. Bay leaves. Fry the halved onions until very brown first. I normally chuck in a few mixed herbs too - anything from the cupboard.
Start with cold water and heat up gently until just boiling. Skim off any shite that floats up as this will make your stock clearer. You can use a paper towel to remove the fat from the surface once you are finished too
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:55,
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This ^+ this
allrecipes.co.uk/recipe/1182/basic-chicken-stock.aspx
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 13:58,
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HmmNot thought of putting ginger in. I have added soy and chilli when making a stock for chicken noodle soup before though
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 14:03,
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First stock recipe I saw they can get to fuck if thay think I'm adding ginger.On a new note The air conditioning unit in my office is awesome, I was bored so picked up the remote and have been messing with it.
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 14:07,
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Ginger would be good for anything oriental or indian though(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 14:08,
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Try adding a chilli-pepper unopened (scotch bonnet peppers are well wicked) (
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 14:09,
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