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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Morning.
Alright? Good weekend?

What did you get up to?

Alt: What of note is happening this week?
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 8:45, 150 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
Fucking great weekend sir
Mexican food, sunshine and happy kids. I managed to teach my daughter to ride her bike without stabilisers too
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 8:49, Reply)
Excellent.
I remember the day I learnt that - my old man effectively pushed me down a fucking hill to get me started, I almost shat myself.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 8:51, Reply)
Our street is flat
Otherwise this could have been a "how to get started" option
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 8:54, Reply)
Alright
Aye, was good thanks, went out for an awesome meal last night, felt rather fat afterwards though.

Also went for a nice walk on Saturday, round Haworth (where the BrontΓ« sisters lived).

Alt: Nothing interesting for me, might be going home early today, as I feel like shit.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 8:50, Reply)
I would love to still be in bed.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Same, although as I barely slept last night, I'm not sure how much it will help

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 8:53, Reply)
It's always easier to sleep during the day when you're ill. I never know why, but curling up on the sofa with a cup of tea and the telly on always works.
Of course, you then spend the entire night spark wide awake. : (
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 8:58, Reply)
Alright Boyce.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 8:50, Reply)
*shrugs*
You?
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 8:51, Reply)
I went to the gym, finished an assignment, went to the gym again.
I went to the gym this morning too, and I"m going again in half an hour. I'm currently writing a job application for next year - position of academic mentor on campus.

On Thursday one of my best friends and I are going out. Going to go clubbing, and get very, very trashed, party hard, stagger home, and then muster up our will power to go to a friday morning lecture.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 8:53, Reply)
I am so pleased you're having fun at the moment. Good on you.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 8:54, Reply)
I've always found 'fun' to be very overrated.
But then, I never get any, so maybe I'm just jealous.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 8:56, Reply)
You fucking weirdo.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 8:58, Reply)
The Charlatan's less child friendly followup single?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 8:58, Reply)
hells yeah.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:00, Reply)
Ah, we've obviously met.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 8:59, Reply)
maybe. But I don't usually go out much.
But me and my friend have been planning a night out for ages, something always came up, so we set the night aside! 3dollar pots ftw!
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 8:58, Reply)
aha are you being sarcastic?
It's weird though, I've always hated exercise, but I'm *loving* the gym. Working up a good sweat feels good!
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 8:57, Reply)
I'm not being sarcastic.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 8:58, Reply)
oh. cool. Thanks!
Seriously though, muscles that I didn't know existed are hurting. But in a good way.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:01, Reply)
Morning. Yes thanks.
Did more of my exciting new design project, won the pub quiz for the first time in about ten weeks.

Alt: nothing.
HTH
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 8:55, Reply)
listened to Gang Starr on the way to work.
Apart from that, DIY renovation all weekend. Cleaning ancient adhesive off a Victorian mosaic tile floor, uncovering a boarded over balustrade and pulling nails out of it for two days. Next up, sanding, staining and varnishing the lounge floor.

I am knackered.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 8:56, Reply)
Gang Starr were superb.
Showing you that you can have a monotone delivery but not be shit.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 8:59, Reply)
Guru was a tremendous MC.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:00, Reply)
Conversely, you are a tremendous woofter.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:04, Reply)
Morning
Yeah, it was pretty good.
Done some history stuff on Saturday - bit of wandering round Stratford in the morning then visited a C15th cottage in Coventry (which in true Cov style is in a shitty area, surrounded by blocks of flats). Then on Sunday had some family lols round at my parents' house with my uncle who is over visiting from France.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 8:58, Reply)
Whereabouts is this cottage?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:29, Reply)
Spon End.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:32, Reply)
where the fuck is my birthday card monty you fucking wanker?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:07, Reply)
I'm afraid I burnt it to keep warm, whilst huddled in a shop doorway last night. Soz.
PS HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU SCOTCH FLID.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:11, Reply)
I understand, too selfish to risk freezing to death. what a cunt.
CHEERS YOU FUCKING LOVELY SMELLY TRAMP.
BUY ME THINGS!!!!
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:12, Reply)
It's Wicca'd Witch's birthday today too.
Happy birthday MMPS.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:14, Reply)
cheers, you kangaroo shagging sexpot.
is my present MARRYING ME and a blowie?
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:15, Reply)
You have to pick one or the other.
There is no 'both'.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:18, Reply)
this^
:o(
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:19, Reply)
Hahahaha!

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:21, Reply)
blowie then marriage, then doing it while she's asleep.
and spluffing on her hair. or back. or feet.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:19, Reply)
I've got some batteries on my desk.
You can have them. AAAs, they are - three of them.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:17, Reply)
jesus christ, stop trying to buy my friendship you creep.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:17, Reply)
Yeah you wish.
They're flat, for one thing.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:19, Reply)
GOT YOU ON IGNORE NOW.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:20, Reply)
Well I've got you on ignore as well and I did it first.
I hope someone bakes you a birthday cake with a poo in it and you get dysentery and die.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:28, Reply)
I hope big glenda bites your cock off in a meth induced rage haze
shoves it up your arse then makes a filthy lurcher eat it out.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:34, Reply)
COR! This is some sexy subthread you got going on here.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:38, Reply)
I also hope this.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:50, Reply)
You cunt
I needed them yesterday
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:18, Reply)
Good morning hippy.
Yeah, was ok, Watched loads of dvds, and didn't really move out the house. I managed to avoid the Olympic thing, it was billed as an "extended Coldplay concert", which I think is as good as a reason as any for ignoring it. How was your weekend? Drunken drugged up debauchery? Tea and biscuits?
Alt,becoming a fulltime stoodent again this week, so I have to buy a pencil case, amongst other things. Is it worth joining the SU? Apart from getting in the bar, it looks a bit wanky.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:13, Reply)
Mixture of debauchery, culture and childcare.
Pretty much the perfect weekend.

The SU are without exception cunts. Avoid like the plague.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:14, Reply)
Worth it to get the card for discounts

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:17, Reply)
Yeah, thought for that and the bar. Otherwise, not arsed.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:18, Reply)
Excellent weekend thank you.
Poland was excellent. 80 of us there for my mate's birthday.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:14, Reply)
I hope that on at least one occasion you said 'I love you Po-land'

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:16, Reply)
Auschwitz is beautiful this time of the year,
so they tell me.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:17, Reply)
Fucking right.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:19, Reply)
We were in Poznan. Nice place.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:22, Reply)
Did you Poznan in Poznan?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:27, Reply)
Only 80 people in the whole of Poland?
That's better than Hitler managed.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:19, Reply)
I didn't do anything this weekend.
It was great.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:18, Reply)
Me either
caught up on some telly, read a book, sat around in my pants. Top stuff.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:20, Reply)
Me and kiddo did gardening.
Her obessession with mint plants continues apace. She threw an eppy in the shop because she couldn't have a Kinder Surprise though. Proper strop.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:21, Reply)
Takes after her mother then?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:22, Reply)
On the whole no, thank God.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:22, Reply)
I can't imagine where she's learning that kind of behaviour...

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:23, Reply)
Big Bud and Super Skunk about right for harvesting then?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:23, Reply)
"mint"
yeah, mate. Course.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:03, Reply)
TH!

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:19, Reply)
Living in just one mind...
I'm sorry, I refuse to be stuck with that earworm every time you post, you're going to have to change your username.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:21, Reply)
I'm afraid I can't let that happen

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:22, Reply)
HELLO 'TWO HATS' OFF THE INTERNET.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:23, Reply)
Ahoy hoy 'Monty from the Web Tubes'!

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:24, Reply)
It's me!!!

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:29, Reply)

BIG SEXY!
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:32, Reply)
Oh yeah

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:34, Reply)
How about "Stu Studio"
Can't see that being a problem.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:53, Reply)
Weekend was ace, thanks.
Dogsitting on Saturday was mahoosive fun, as was the evening BBQ. Yeserday I had yet another BBQ at a mate's house, excellent food, great company and dodgy music (Pooflake, me and a couple of others with acoustic gutars).
All in all, a fulfilling weekend spoiled only by the fact of my G/F being away.
Alt: This week I will be attacking the back garden with flamethrowers and agent orange.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:27, Reply)
Read that as 'dogshitting'

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:28, Reply)
Sounds like an extreme sport

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:31, Reply)
You say spoiled.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:39, Reply)

away a munter
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:42, Reply)
Ha

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:48, Reply)
oh, textbook.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:02, Reply)
Park and paddling pool with mini ape on Saturday, out to a comedy night in the evening
Battersea park zoo with mini ape yesterday follwed by beers and mates in the park.

Morning all, I have some bad news I'm afraid
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:41, Reply)
You're not dying?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:43, Reply)
That would be terrible news.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:45, Reply)
That's teh bad news? You're NOT dying?
Surely that's good news?
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:46, Reply)
I not dying no; I'm also not coming to megabash due to a prior commitment
Soz to everyone that wanted to touch me
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:55, Reply)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*





*YES!
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:56, Reply)

touch punch
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:57, Reply)
You fucking cunt.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:58, Reply)
Not content with ruining the internet
Now he is trying to ruin real life too.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:00, Reply)
Simple Minds beat him to that one.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:01, Reply)
You're a bent spastic?
Oh, sorry, you said 'news'.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:52, Reply)
I read that as "pork and paddling pool"
Which was ...... disturbing.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:00, Reply)
Come on 'the internet', you're not fucking trying.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Answer my email!!!!!

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:52, Reply)
Oops, haven't even got Outlook open

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:53, Reply)
Stupid internet.
Be more funny.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:53, Reply)
I'm very fucking trying, I'll have you know

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:54, Reply)

RELEASE THE BEES!
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:56, Reply)
I like this.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 9:57, Reply)

this bumming children because I a fucking gert big scotch nonce wanker
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:00, Reply)
you can't even read a story to your daughter properly you fucking prick.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:04, Reply)
Yes I can I just choose not to you birthday spastic.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:13, Reply)
no wonder she hates you and likes "other mum" better.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:15, Reply)
No wonder you only have three months to live.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:19, Reply)
Alright!
I went for a carvery yesterday. The roast potatoes never taste right at those things, they taste like they've been reheated from the previous day. I did a BBQ on Saturday and put some tinfoiled sweet potatoes on the coals and had them with soured cream, lemon juice and chives. They were very nice. I also made a marinade for some pork chops but it was too watery and didn't make much of a difference.

Alt: Erm, England are playing foot the ball on Wednesday, corgi funerals,kicking ass and chewing bubblegum.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:07, Reply)
You're going to be a little late if you want to watch the football on wednesday.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:08, Reply)
I don't understand
EDIT: Ah, it's on Tuesday, gotcha. You could've just said y'know.

EDIT 2: England Women's U17 are playing Israel on Wednesday so I could've totes been talking about that and made you look like a FOOL. A FOOL! but I didn't, cos I'm nice like that
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:09, Reply)
I could
but this place is so fucking slow today I just pushed for the extra reply, just for the human contact.

I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:12, Reply)

you, myself
FOOL. A FOOL! NONCE. A NONCE!
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:16, Reply)
myself could've just said?
Not sure where you're going with this one
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:17, Reply)
Roasted sweet potato is excellent

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:11, Reply)

excell b
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:14, Reply)
this^^
along with butternut squash, peppers and red onion if you like, to accompany a perfectly done steak.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:14, Reply)
Boil, mash with cooked red onion, cheese, butter and an egg
Fluff up the top then roast in oven until crispy. Fucking marvellous with steak
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:20, Reply)
Not much
although I did get to an air show on Sunday, which was pretty good, although the traffic was abysmal.
alt: more not much except work, I suspect.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:09, Reply)
Should have had more control

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:17, Reply)
In other news, looks like we might finally be getting rid of this cunt
b3ta.com/questions/worstpersonforthejob/post1723251
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:16, Reply)
I spent it in the company of
18 worthy hand-wringing trustafarian Guardian reading 30-somethings, who drank a single bottle of wine between them while discussing how awful child poverty in Africa is, and pushing a 20 quid meal aroud their plates but not eating it because they didn't want to get fat.

The lifelong vegetarian and his partner Mrs V and I were sat next to didn't agree that it's OK to eat animals because they're all cunts, and thought that such a viewpoint was rather narrow-minded, actually.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:18, Reply)
One bottle of wine between 18 people?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:20, Reply)
Sneezy, Bashful, Doc, etc..

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:21, Reply)
Yup.
I'm not bullshitting.

Apart from Mrs V and I, one other person had a single whiskey and coke. The rest was either tap water or softies. It was like a fucking AA meeting.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:22, Reply)
They all had shit 'taches too?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:22, Reply)
+ and comedy T-shirts

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:23, Reply)
Christ.
Your friends sound like even bigger cunts than you.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:23, Reply)
That was the good thing to come out of it.
We left there feeling cooler than Bob Holness' corpse.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Of note this week is (finally) a clear calendar, work wise
This will no doubt change today but I might actually get the chance to catch up
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:19, Reply)
I insist that you use this as an opportunity to go to the pub at lunchtime.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:24, Reply)
*trigger fingers*
What a fucking great idea
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:29, Reply)
Well, if no one else is going to say it...
I can no longer avoid the elephant in the room here. Someone needs to say it:
This thread is shit.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:32, Reply)
Start another one then.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:33, Reply)
I have.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:37, Reply)
It's shit.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:42, Reply)
Maintaining standards.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:43, Reply)
You fucking WOMAD prick.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:35, Reply)
Come and discuss the music of the indigenous tribes of Papua New Guinea in my new thread.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:38, Reply)
*noseflutes*

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:40, Reply)
You're supposed to blow not suck
now you've inhaled all that white powder, I bet you feel silly.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:50, Reply)
Morning Monters
Good weekend ta. Mainly spent taxiing/entertaining/feeding the kids and working like a trojan in the garden.

So you managed to see your daughter then? So what's the mental one up to now? Does she know about your legal proceedings yet?
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:35, Reply)
I did, and it was wonderful.
I left her mother with a copy of my proposed new arrangement. She doesn't like it but this was expected. I think she'll agree to some of it - in fact she will have no choice.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:38, Reply)
Does she have any latitude to disagree with any of it, or do you have her over the proverbial barrel?
Good news anyway.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:38, Reply)
Her principal objection is 'you can't afford to feed her properly'.
It's pretty pathetic, rather desperate and I suspect she knows it.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:40, Reply)
What proposed new arrangement is it?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:42, Reply)
Proposed:
1. overnight stays with me every other weekend
2. my visits not to be at her house (already happening)
3. a week's hol in the summer, a few days at Xmas and a bank hol
4. time with visits to be increased from 3 to 8 hours weekly

Nothing outrageous I think
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:47, Reply)
\o/
Made up for you mate, cracking news.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:51, Reply)
Let's see what happens eh...

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:55, Reply)
Definitely not in any way unreasonable, hope it works out
People that use their kids to get at ex-partners are the lowest of the low IMO, sadly there seems to be a lot of it.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:55, Reply)


(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:42, Reply)
Absolutely

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:43, Reply)
Fucksake. She really is desperate.
All moving in the right direction by the sounds of it. Excellent news.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 10:49, Reply)

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