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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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David "Kid" Jensen. Now it all makes sense.
Nonce sense.

Yeah, whatever. Its the weekend, I'm off to cut down Rhododendron over the weekend. Every cut of the axe, I'll be thinking it was the head of my employer being cleaved in twain.

What are you twats up to? I only want lies, I can't handle the truth.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:08, 273 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
Sympathy reply

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:19, Reply)
alright Bart Master B?
I will be continuing to strip wallpaper from my hall, commencing beat research for my next gig and going to see Luke Solomon and Chris Duckenfield play house music.

Then on Sunday I will have a lie in and read JG Ballard.

Alright?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:19, Reply)
Alright Plum?
I'm mentally knackered through having to work hard all week.
I think all the woodchip in my flat was stuck down using superglue. It is impossible to get off without bringing the plaster down with it.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:24, Reply)
Woodchip, like cockroaches and Lemmy, is one of the only things that would survive a nuclear holocaust.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:27, Reply)
my hall's getting replastered anyway
And I've uncovered the original mosaic tile floor. Next up us sanding, staining and varnishing the floorboards in the lounge. There are brads in every joist though, so the nailpunching will take ages.

Victorian houses FTW!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:30, Reply)
I bet you have high ceilings too.
Carefull you dont knock a floorboard nail though a leccy cable. I did once, it hurt a lot when I trod on it.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:36, Reply)
won't
It needed rewiring when I bought it so I know where the cables are.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:42, Reply)
Yo Bart-dizzle.
SAUSAGEFEST this evening. Tonight's style is 'fire sausages' - hope I don't BURN them, eh?!!!! Aahahahaha!! I wonder if they're SMOKED!!!! Etc. etc. Bottle of wine, bit of relaxation. Kid on Sunday so doing v little tomoz either.

Not sure how long I'll have with the nipper on Sun so that rather dictates what goes on there. I might take her into tine to see SWORDS AND FIREARMS at the Wallace Collection.

How're you?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:26, Reply)
* something about sausages and you being a big homo*
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:37, Reply)
I appreciate the hard work that went into composing this post.
Means a lot x
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:38, Reply)
Too much pinotage last night = I cannot be bothered to do anything other than sleep.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:39, Reply)
I had an old mate stay over last night.
The bugger owes me £660 which (as you know) I could really use. However he's gone from a 75k job at Sky staying with his mum in Dorset so I got nuffink.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:45, Reply)
Now you know how all those banks you owe feel.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:48, Reply)
All those poor bankers, living on Batchelor's Super Noodles :(

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:51, Reply)
Well fed, self-important and rich but ultimately extremely dull?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:52, Reply)
That's enough about Swipe. She's not here to defend herself.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:56, Reply)
Having met her ex I feel so sorry for her that I will never tease her again.
At one point I distinctly recall singing 'Gregg's hat' to the tune of 'Love Shack' by the B52's.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:57, Reply)
A very peculiar individual. Can't work out why she brought him along tbh.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:01, Reply)
Mmmmmmmm. Sausagefest.
IS this an organised or a home grown event. I've never been to the Wallace Collection, I'll have to check that out. Seems right up my alley though.

I'm fine except for amount of work on at the moment.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:41, Reply)
I bet you love sausages right up your alley. Deviant.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:41, Reply)
Did you enjoy Red Dwarf X last night?

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:43, Reply)
I would rather kill myself than watch that rubbish.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:45, Reply)
It was SMEGGING AWESOME.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:46, Reply)
Sorry, I meant 'what Battered said'.
Having to see the fucking posters at Angel every morning is irritating enough.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:47, Reply)
This weekend I'll be cruising around Monte Carlo in my convertible Honda Accord
surrounded by supermodels, with as many massive drugs as I can fit up my nose.
Should be a right giggle.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:31, Reply)
Is this the only applicant who has read the question?

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:44, Reply)
We're trying to upset you with truths.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:49, Reply)
My truth would probably cheer him up.
Assuming that, like the rest of us, he gets pleasure from the misery of others.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Tell me you're going to the dentist for some root canal work.
I promise not to laugh.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:57, Reply)
Worse than that
I'm driving up to Whitley Bay* for the weekend, this evening.

*Not, as my wife has been telling me all week, Whitby.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:59, Reply)
YM.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:36, Reply)
It really would be a wasted effort,
After six kids, I expect a basketball wouldn't touch the sides.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:43, Reply)
Hello
Nowt. Might entertain some company but other than that it's a quiet weekend for me.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:40, Reply)
dunno, not made any plans yet and I couldn't give a fuck about yours.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:02, Reply)
Well said
Alright love
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:06, Reply)
aye, no bad hats.
watched that "the dark knight" last night. it was better than I expected.

how's tricks?
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:07, Reply)
The one with the Joker?
You know, I loved it when I saw it at the cinema, but less so when I saw it on DVD. Don't know why. Looking forward to seeing the new one though.
Tricks are ok. Mrs Hats is poorly sick, so it's nice and quiet here.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:09, Reply)
I like the joker in it, he looked proper unhinged.
good, thank fuck it's not the moaning in pain type of ill.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:13, Reply)
Nah, she doesn't really do that, thankfully
That's more my style.

Yeah, Heath Ledger was great. Like the perfect middle ground between Caesar Romero's wacky comical Joker and Jack Nicholson's psychopath.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:15, Reply)
this^
Fucking excellent performance
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:18, Reply)
I done a proper lol when he skipped out of the hospital in the nurses uniform
and comically pressed the detonator a few times.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:18, Reply)
I'd liked to have seen Nolan have a crack at The Riddler
Not sure who would play him though. To fit in with the vibe of the other movies it couldn't be too camp.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:22, Reply)
couldn't be worse than jim carey.
I dunno, reckon steve buscemi could give it a go.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:24, Reply)
Yeah, he could be good

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:29, Reply)
Face cancer is better than Jim Carrey

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:29, Reply)
he's properly worse than nakers.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:31, Reply)
That's a bit harsh. Poor Jim.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:35, Reply)
Whatever happened to our Jim Carrey (formerly name stealer)?
Was he just Rory in disguise?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:38, Reply)
nolan said he'd never do the riddler or the penguin as they both seemed really gay
tru fact
(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:27, Reply)
He's an idiot

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:28, Reply)
danny devito should do the penguin.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:29, Reply)
I watched that one quite recently
and never realised that PeeWee Herman plays The Penguin's dad at the beginning.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:32, Reply)
!
today is a learning day.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:33, Reply)
Tim Burton must have had him on speed dial
until his....difficulties
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:34, Reply)
i thought it was the dad from back to the future?

(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:35, Reply)
Nope
www.imdb.com/name/nm0000607/
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:38, Reply)
I watched that the other day.
At the start, his dad still has black hair but in the revised 1985 at the end, he's gone grey, despite a less stressful life as a successful novelist. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:39, Reply)
And at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance
how come Marty is playing a guitar that hasn't been invented yet? HUH???
/nerd
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:41, Reply)
ALSO
The car gets covered in ice on only two out of the three time-travelling journeys. EXPLAIN THAT.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:47, Reply)
YEAH
Explain THAT with your science, Mr...science...man.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:48, Reply)
YEAH.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:49, Reply)
Tachyons and dilithium crystals.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:57, Reply)
we've got to get the anderson tubes back up tot he warp drive!

(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:58, Reply)
I canne tak this any mure, Cap'n !!!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:01, Reply)
Shut up please.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:06, Reply)
yeah, shut up those leaking PLASMA VENTS
if they react with the argonite the whole system's gonna blow!
(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:08, Reply)
I hope you don't have a red t-shirt on
if so you probably have 5 minutes to live
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:13, Reply)
you total fucking cunt
i actually, genuinely am wearing a red t shirt today
(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:25, Reply)
hahahaha
proper officelolz

If your boss asks you to go with him to a strange planet, refuse.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:06, Reply)
maybe, i'm no fanboi and i've never read a comic book
but the riddler and penguin in the tv series, cartoons and films have been camp as fuck
(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:32, Reply)
And the Joker wasn't?
The characters are whatever the film wants them to be. I think they could do something with both of those characters and make them believable.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:33, Reply)
joker wasn't camp in the first batman film
and in some of the saturday morning cartoons he was downright sinister

i don't think you can really have a serious film about a guy in a batsuit fighting a man in a bowler hat who's basically just a times crossword puzzle
(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:35, Reply)
I respectfully disagree
Think of all the riddles and traps...it could be like Batman meets Saw.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:37, Reply)
could be interesting i suppose
but the Saw films got dull pretty quick too
(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:38, Reply)
Oh, of course
But then they wouldn't make six of them. One would be enough.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:38, Reply)
i'd prefer if batman went up against these guys
www.classickidstv.co.uk/wiki/The_Riddlers
(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:40, Reply)
Fucken creepy Gelfling cunts

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:41, Reply)
Didn't Leslie Ash become one of those?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:43, Reply)
he reminds me of a baddie from children's tv show "numberjacks"

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:37, Reply)
the guy with the hoover thing?
I can't remember his name!
(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:38, Reply)
Numbertaker?
My eldest used to be terrified of Spooky Spoon.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:39, Reply)
I found the Numbertaker to be fucking creepy and all.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:40, Reply)
we should have numberjacks chat more often.
the number taker looked like a nonce.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:41, Reply)
One time I waved a teaspoon in Junior's face and went 'OOOHH...SPOOKY SPOOOOOON!'
he screamed, snatched it from me and lobbed it across the room. I wasn't popular that day.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:42, Reply)
I AM THE PROBLEM BLOB

(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:39, Reply)
that's the one, well played q.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:42, Reply)
That number one was a bit of a flid
and number four is a secret Nazi sympathiser, I'm sure of it.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:47, Reply)
or 'Vier'
as his freunden call him...
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:49, Reply)
One of them was a queer as well.
Nearly as bad as those Tweenie cunts. Even when she was two my kid thought they were spastics.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:50, Reply)
I've been told I do an excellent 'Milo'

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:51, Reply)
i saw the batman tv series the other night and after beating up mr freeze's goons
bruce wayne and dick grayson had to go to a fancy party, and the waitress handed them their desserts and robin goes 'Baked Alaska!'

he made a face and the soundman did a 'wah-wah-wah-wahhhhhh'
(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:16, Reply)
better than any shitty christian bale shit any day

(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:17, Reply)
I WILL DESTROY YOU
or something
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:18, Reply)
I'M BAT-MAN
what sort of shitty catchphrase is that? and his suit doesn't even look like it's made from real lycra
(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:19, Reply)
holy on set rage batman!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:19, Reply)
i get the impression adam west is a top bloke and there's no way in the world he'd bully a poor sound engineer
and i doubt he'd have made terminator salvation neither
(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:20, Reply)
I like his voice acting in "the family guy" and he seems proper odd.
he also wouldn't hit his mother.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:21, Reply)
i would
bitch has it comin'
(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:22, Reply)
You are so right it HURTS

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:23, Reply)
Best....thing...
EVER
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:18, Reply)
Today I will be drinking copious amounts of beer at lunchtime
then eating either curry or pizza.

Saturday will be sorting out that "cold fusion" issue and Sunday will be heading back in time to 1843
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:14, Reply)
What's special about quarter to seven?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:22, Reply)
If you have to ask
*tsk*
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:27, Reply)
Morning
I went out for dinner with my dad last night, opened a bottle of Cael Ila Moch in his honour for pre-drinks, managed to get through 2 bottles of wine with dinner and then some liquorice sambucca for afters. I am a wee bit hungover this morning.

Tomorrow I am going to watch 22 ludicrously overpaid nancy boys kick a pigs bladder about. Hopefully QPR will get a proper tonking from WBA.

After that there will be MOAR DRINKING.

Sunday I will be continuing my research into who does the best full English breakfast within walking distance of my flat.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:20, Reply)
dude, stop dating your dad

(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:22, Reply)
10/10

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:25, Reply)
He's so dreamy

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:32, Reply)
dewd

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:32, Reply)
Hackney City Farm does the best one I know of.
Bit of a hike for you but you might want to try it sometime. It's all rather 'rustic' and middle class and lots of irritating children are running around 'expressing themselves' but even still their 'big farm breakfast' is excellent.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:25, Reply)
Walking distance of MY flat, not yours you narcissist
Looks like I can get a bus for half of it, though.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:30, Reply)
'bit of a hike for you' you witless nonce.
It's the best one I know of pretty much anywhere which I why I mentioned it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:32, Reply)
Found the menu
Scrambled eggs with a full English is an instant dismissal, and possibly a criminal offence. You've not just let me down, and England down, you've let yourself down Monty.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:37, Reply)
This is more like it
www.albioncaff.co.uk/caff/#breakfast
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:42, Reply)
That's the road my kid lives on.
It's not great in there to be honest. Well over-priced and EXTREMELY wanky.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:43, Reply)
:( Might try E Pellicelli or the breakfast club in shoreditch
Or perhaps I'll just have a Rustlers.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:53, Reply)
Avoid the breakfast club too mate.
My Albion review serves that place equally. Pellicci's is better in that it's a PWOPPAH CAFF but it gets mentally busy.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:57, Reply)
Loads of cooking to stock up the freezer tonight
Refretting/neck reset on a guitar tomorrow and precisely feck all on Sunday.
A quiet life is all I crave.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:23, Reply)
Seeing my friend tonight, bash tomorrow, recover Sunday.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:27, Reply)
I'm totally going to that bash.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:49, Reply)
Working barts,
working, but it can't be any worse than last night, shit got crazy.
is it a good time to be pruning? I thought it was best to do it early spring.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:41, Reply)
Not pruning WP, destroying.
In the New Forest where it runs rampant. Without chemicals, it is necessary to cut it all down and burn it to fuck. Even individual leaves can sprout and send up another weed, so it spreads if you're not careful.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:50, Reply)
well,
sounds like fun. isn't that badger cull up in the new forest? are you secretly burning badger loving hippies?
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:53, Reply)
louise is talking to me about red dwarf
send help
(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:52, Reply)
It was shit, as expected.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:53, Reply)
she said series 1-5 were the best and anything with kachinsky in it was bad and without rimmer it was bad
she didn't mention last night, apparently the 'backwards' episode won awards

i'd have thought all the episodes were backwards
(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:55, Reply)
Tell her about Lister
being a rapist and how he probably raped Kochanski and the actress that played her in a rapey foursome with himself and Craig Charles.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:53, Reply)
have you tried spitting in her face?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:07, Reply)
i'd rather not
she offered to make me tea, i said i'd rather do it myself as her tea is awful
(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:09, Reply)
Clearly she wants you in the worst possible way

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:15, Reply)
like all women, she's only got eyes for malc
i did look proper double O seven in my suit the other day though, even tracey wanted me
(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:17, Reply)
Malc didn't look all that on
the news article you linked to. You must be a proper munter.

No offence.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:18, Reply)
the prison diet made him lose the chubby cheeks and he's bulked up with muscle since then
he looks like a member of one direction on steroids these days
(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:19, Reply)
All that smashing rocks with the other "lags" in the "yard", is it?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:20, Reply)
no i think it's just that the prison diet is very poor
he lived on mackerel for 18 months before they started letting him out on day release
(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:20, Reply)
Nice. On the plus side though, Q
At least when you sweat you won't smell like a hot day in Billingsgate.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:21, Reply)
oh but muscle wise that's because joe's been slipping him cash for doing odd jobs
so he hit the gym, got protein powders and all that

and somebody grassed him up the other week, so he's stopped doing all that now
(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:21, Reply)
I love a good episode of Quintenders

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:31, Reply)
i hope they're all good episodes
i'd hate if any of this was boring
(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:33, Reply)
Gig tonight,
meant to be going to london on saturday for a house party, I might "forget" to go, not sure yet.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:18, Reply)
I did that at the weekend
they'll just get stroppy at you. You might as well go.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:19, Reply)
I've got to go to centerparcs and a muse gig and an Adam buxton show this month
I cant' really justifiy going to a houseparty for 3-5 hours if it'll cost me £40
(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:21, Reply)
God what a shit-sounding month. Unlucky.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:22, Reply)
Not a fan of Muse or Cent"er"par"c"s
What's an Adam Buxton?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:26, Reply)
You know, the spring water guy?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:27, Reply)
We went to all the bother of secretly changing the venue and not telling you
and you didn't even turn up.

You are a grade A Mk II cunt Kroney.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:22, Reply)
Haha soz to put you through all that work for no benefit.
I am a little disappointed that I didn't get to hear your Gregg's Hat song, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:23, Reply)
Who are you seeing tonight?
Anyone good?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:23, Reply)
Nothing interesting.
I have my kid this weekend, I have to deliver him to a birthday party in Wandsworth tomorrow and then, as I have no wish to sit around at said party find a way to entertain myself for 3 hours.

Anyone know anything worth doing in Wandsworth for 3 hours on a Saturday afternoon. if not I shall just find the nearest coffee place and spend 3 hours reading a book.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:20, Reply)
look up rachel birkbeck
she's from that area and she's proper filthy, mark my words
(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:22, Reply)
Google image search suggests: "wouldn't"
but thanks for the suggestion. I think I'll just walk across to Northcote lane and browse a few charity shops and drink some coffe while being annoyed by the middle classes.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:33, Reply)
Is this her?
www.eatonsmith.co.uk/profiles.php?team=2&sg=business&profile=9
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:34, Reply)
oh dear sweet good god, no

(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:34, Reply)
more or less my raction

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:37, Reply)
I am currently sipping on a martini, in a gold slinky dress, and catching the eye of a very attractive guy across the bar.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:25, Reply)
He probably thinking
"What's that gold, sequinned nightmare over there staring at me with her lazy eye for? Ugh, I can smell the alcohol over here. I hope she doesn't talk to me".
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:28, Reply)
do the single ladies dance.
guys love that.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:29, Reply)
Is that the one where they use you as a stripper pole
and do that bendy-over-backwards thing while grinding her foof into your leg? I don't like that.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:30, Reply)
and that's why you will forever be, Kronely

(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:31, Reply)
This is funny.
well done lad.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:34, Reply)
No one comes away from that with any dignity.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:31, Reply)
Some girl did that to me in a busy pub.
Nobody else was dancing. Everybody was staring. I was embarrassed.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:36, Reply)
snail trails

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:08, Reply)
haha, which bond film is this from?

(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:30, Reply)
ALL OF THEM.
He said he didn't want the truth, so I gave him the most bullshit lie I could think of.
In actuality it's 7:30, I'm in my pj's and dressing gown.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:31, Reply)
You're doing being a student wrong.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:33, Reply)
and there is a man staring at you through the window, desperately tugging his flaccid little baldmonkey cock

(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:33, Reply)
I think you're developing a baldmonkey obsession, Quince

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:39, Reply)
i just miss him SO MUCH

(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:44, Reply)
if i keep talking about him maybe it'll provoke him to come back

(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:44, Reply)
I doubt it. And even if he can see through my thick window curtains, there's nothing to see. I'm not in my room.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:58, Reply)
STOP GETTING BOND WRONG!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:27, Reply)
Surely Bond is far too mainstream for you?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:37, Reply)
He prefers The Man From U.N.C.L.E
Retro, kitsch and these days hardly anybody remembers it. Perfect for the metrosexual hipster-about-town.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:38, Reply)
I thought he was on about the 'classical crossover' band, Bond.
Making string quartets sexy!
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:40, Reply)
Our Man Flint 'ftw'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:41, Reply)
I used to watch that as a kid
Napoleon Solo FTW
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:01, Reply)
It's OK, I'm sure he reads the books
and then spends the films pointing out how they got it wrong.

but he quite likes the recent Casino Royale because it was more 'authentic'
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:39, Reply)
I had him down more as a Jason King man.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:44, Reply)
sorry I'm not cool or knowledgeable enough to know about this
I quite like Roger Moore myself.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:45, Reply)
I know I am.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:48, Reply)
Just heard See Emily Play by Pink Floyd on t'wireless.
I think either them or Eric Clapton can lay claim to the most extreme swings of quality in a musical career.

Can any of you readers think of another artist or act with such dizzying highs and diarrhoea-inducing lows?

(apart from Fleetwood Mac)
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:39, Reply)
Jefferson Airplane

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:40, Reply)
J. Starship and Starship don't count as they have different names.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:44, Reply)
THEYDOSHUTUP

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:44, Reply)
Daphne and Celeste

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:40, Reply)
Chaka Demus and Pliers

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:41, Reply)
You're just teasing him now.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:42, Reply)
Chaka Demus maybe
But Pliers was a genius
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:42, Reply)
Pato Banton

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:42, Reply)
BULLSHIT!!!!!
Never put a foot wrong, has our Patsy.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:43, Reply)
Charles and Eddie

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:42, Reply)
You are lying to me

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:07, Reply)
Dr Hook
have ranged from some quite fun tunes (Cover Of The Rolling Stone) to some utter drivel (When You're In Love with a Beautiful Woman). not quite the same but the difference is annoying.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:42, Reply)
Elvis.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:43, Reply)
Good call WP

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:44, Reply)
The Beatles.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:43, Reply)
Nah, theirs range from 'OK I suppose' to utter gay shite. Nothing more dramatic than that.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:45, Reply)
Shut up, that one that goes "coo coo ca choo"
is genius, legendary songwriting, you know-nothing cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:48, Reply)
That was Alvin Stardust.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:49, Reply)
click

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:50, Reply)
I like that 'ob la di ob la da' one.
Anyone who doesn't is some kind of a fucking idiot.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:51, Reply)
Most of the Beatles didn't even like that one.
Ringo walked out rather than play on it.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:53, Reply)
Tomorrow Never Knows and Helter Skelter are good,
Other than that I only like their early pop songs. If you ask me, Sgt Pepper is one of the worst 'psychedelic' albums of the time - 'Their Satanic Majesties' is much better if critically panned.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:55, Reply)
I don't mind Their Satanic Majesties
It may have been critically panned, but I find the Stones albums that the critics love to be mostly dull.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:06, Reply)
The Citadel is one of their best tunes ever.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:07, Reply)
Whereas most of something like Exile On Main St is tedious wank.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:12, Reply)
I was going to say John Lennon
His solo stuff was SO wank. He had like two decent songs.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:46, Reply)
If he did, he should have recorded them.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:49, Reply)
Wahey!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:52, Reply)
Tatu

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:45, Reply)
Fuck you man, they're genius.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:46, Reply)
The Jim Jones Revue
i mean, come on
(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:45, Reply)
Hawkwind is a pretty gay name for a band
the should change to 'bird flatulence'
(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:46, Reply)
The name comes from Nik Turner's persistent phlegm hawking and farting.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:14, Reply)
quentin crisp

(quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:47, Reply)
Bit gay for my tastes

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:49, Reply)
You prefer your homosexuals to be a bit more butch?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:50, Reply)
A LOT more, ideally.
*Fairbrasses*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:57, Reply)
Prince

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:47, Reply)
Blondie

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:52, Reply)
Jimi Hendrix

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:53, Reply)
2.0

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:02, Reply)
I've got a hankering for fish
Wonder if we have any fish
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:05, Reply)
I'm afraid you don't. Sorry to be the bearer.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:06, Reply)
You're kidding??
Bugger...I really didn't want to have to go out this morning. FUCKSAKE.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:07, Reply)
Plastic Bertrand

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:56, Reply)
Deathtöngue

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:57, Reply)
Parliament/funkadelic

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:58, Reply)
Another good call.
Disagree on Prince though, I've never heard anything of his that wasn't utter shite.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:01, Reply)
Meatloaf

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:58, Reply)
Personality Horse

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:58, Reply)
Lawnmower Dëth

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:02, Reply)
John Carpenter

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:03, Reply)
Go on then
Good and Bad please?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:08, Reply)
The first one's Chuck Berry and the second is Michael Jackson I think.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:09, Reply)
*golf clap*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:09, Reply)
Stevie Wonder with Paul McCartney, surely?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Very nice

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:10, Reply)

Good = Escape From New York Theme
Bad = Escape From LA Theme
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:29, Reply)
This listing band names is all very lol and all that.
But it is rather pointing to the need for a new thread.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:08, Reply)
I find most of the Rolling Stones singles to be a bit meh
but Gimmie Shelter is one of my favourite songs ever, yet they NEVER RELEASED IT AS A SINGLE.

What's that all about, Tangles?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:10, Reply)
The film of the same name is also utter genius.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:12, Reply)
I prefer them as an r&b covers band really.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:16, Reply)
I have to say I'm rather regretting the question now.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:11, Reply)

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