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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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NEWSLINK!www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/northkorea/9630509/North-Korean-army-minister-executed-with-mortar-round.html
How would you want to execute someone?
alt: I prefer peaty whiskey's compared to the light fruity ones, how about you?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:27,
259 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
I prefer sherry or bourbon casked ones.I love the complexity they get and the toffee sweetness. Also quite partial to the clear, floral sweetness of Japanese whiskies.
(, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:31, Reply)
I read this as 'I am well bent innit'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:36,
Reply)
Auchentoshan is not bent.Ben Riach is though, it's fucking grim.
I have Bruichladdich 10 at the moment.
(, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:38, Reply)
I heard Bruichladdich 10 alien toys are going to be super hot this christmas(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:42,
Reply)
the real lol is that that whisky is affectionately referred to as 'laddie'I have asked for a ten year old laddie in bars several times.
(, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:45, Reply)
That must have taken a few rounds, a mortar isn't that accurate.Sounds fun though.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:31,
Reply)
I think over the kind of distance they'd have fired it, it would be perfectly accurate enough...(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:35,
Reply)
I like to think a freakishly big super soldier shot it from the hip into that guys face(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:36,
Reply)
actually that's probably bollocks, come to think of it. It'd be more affected by wind over short distances.Perhaps they're just complete cunts?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:36,
Reply)
They'd already marked the landing zone.So they would have locked the mortar in place. Shot one round, then dragged him to where it landed then shot another round.
(, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:37, Reply)
You would have to be a complete cunt to execute some one with a mortar,So the idea that it takes a couple of attempts probably doesn't bother them.
Perhaps they just strapped the round to his back and threw rocks at him.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:43,
Reply)
I imagine mortars in north korea are just tubes that fire clothes irons, nails, old plates and a raggedy leather boot(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:45,
Reply)
Hush your mouth. Tha'ts their top secret nuclear deterant.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:49,
Reply)
I don't think Reuters have a North korean office(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:32,
Reply)
I like whiskey mixed with with coke and squirty cream on top(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:32,
Reply)
that's a pretty spectacular way to gohow did they manage to make the mortar fire so accurately?
(, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:32, Reply)
I think there's mortar this story.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:33,
Reply)
i've just made up a game using a semi-inverted rubber thimble, a pen and my mugi'm trying to mortar-fire the pen into the mug using the thimble
i haven't hit the target once
(, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:37, Reply)
dullest jaws sequel ever(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:40,
Reply)
They pre-aimed."Kim Chol was forced to stand on a spot that had been zeroed in for a mortar round "
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Kroney, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:39,
Reply)
even so i doubt they'd get within a good distance of that unless conditions were absolutely perfectdid the article mention firing more than one round? i'd have thought it would take 3 at least
(, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:42, Reply)
Mortar rounds are heavy.Conditions don't have to be perfect. If they were so inaccurate they'd have no military application.
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Kroney, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:44,
Reply)
I'd force them to read your posts all day until they kill themselves.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:32,
Reply)
Alt: I don't like drinking spirits.The last time I drank whiskey was with Jeff & DG. I was quite ill after that.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:33,
Reply)
they were only supposed to rub it on your gums to help with teething pains!(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:33,
Reply)
Even that wouldn't have been a good idea considering how much beer had already be consumed by then.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:36,
Reply)
last time i drank whisky i got really angry and started shouting at everyoneand i'm normally so nice and placid :(
(, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:38, Reply)
Whiskey hangovers are awful too. Almost as bad as champagne ones.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:40,
Reply)
My favourite is Lagmagullin 10,000,000 old single malt, which I drink with Happy Shopper colawith a poo floating in it.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:38,
Reply)
it's a classic malt, and it goes very well with a Lambert & Butler(, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:40, Reply)
I like to drink it out of an old sneaker - I favour the '85 edition Adidas 'Top Ten'.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:41,
Reply)
you fucking plebThe approved vintage sneaker for that malt is Dunlop Green Flash.
(, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:42, Reply)
I'm like James Bond - I don't play by the rules brah(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:43,
Reply)
I want some acid or mushrooms for this evening.Anyone sort me out plz cheers x
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:39,
Reply)
I'm so edgy, Bono keeps calling me up offering me guitar jobs(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:41,
Reply)
I'll throw some hydrochloric acid in your face if you like?and fry up some deadly nightshade to have on toast
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:41,
Reply)
I knew a bloke who lived in a caravan just outside Winchester.He was an expert on getting high off dangerous plants and I'm fucking certain he claimed to have successfully done this with deadly nightshade.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:43,
Reply)
Well there you go.Good old mum.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:44,
Reply)
according to wikipedia it's a plant and not a fungus...(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:44,
Reply)
A plant with berries, also a fungus but only in the UKwhere do magic mushrooms usualy grow?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:47,
Reply)
Wales, Scotland, the North West...all over.There are some decent spots in the New Forest and near Southampton.
MmmmMMMMmmMMMMM
I fucking love British mushrooms.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:49,
Reply)
I meant more specifically; do they like damp forests or dry heathland etcjust curious really
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:51,
Reply)
Golf courses can be good.Also wet hillsides. When the frosts kick in the game is up for another year.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:53,
Reply)
you're thinking of berries(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:48,
Reply)
stop thinking of nick berry(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:50,
Reply)
It's not that easy - I can't just switch my feelings off, you know.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:52,
Reply)
You had to look that up?God, what a thicky.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:47,
Reply)
This joker's thick as shit, Bart.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:48,
Reply)
Of course it's a plant! It's called Deadly Nightshade because of the....oh God, never mind.
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Kroney, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 12:49,
Reply)
I have somebody coming over for wine and a Chinese tonight.Suggest something nice for me to order.
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Kroney, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:04,
Reply)
Christ.I'm constantly amazed that Lusty hasn't put you in a home yet. CHINESE FOOD.
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Kroney, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:08,
Reply)
My point, YOU FUCKING FRENCH DICK, was that delivery Chinese food is invariably shit and should therefore be avoided.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:09,
Reply)
Have you tried one that's owned by actual Chinese people?They get the sauce to glisten just right.
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Kroney, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:11,
Reply)
I have, on several occasions.In fact I don't think I've ever encountered a Chinese takeaway which was not staffed entirely by 'actual Chinese people'.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:14,
Reply)
Could've been Koreans.You'd never be able to tell, you fucking racist.
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Kroney, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:15,
Reply)
Singapore noodlesCrispy chilli beef, Kung po chicken, and ditch the wine, drink beer.
(, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:06, Reply)
This is pretty basic stuff, Chompy.Really, you might want to do some research.
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Kroney, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:09,
Reply)
I don't. Can't stand the stuff.Have you got your rohypnol in?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:10,
Reply)
Can somebody suggest "duck with pineapple" please?I like that, I have it all the time. Probably a red wine meal, though.
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Kroney, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:10,
Reply)
Have a curry. That'll disguise your disgusting french breath.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:11,
Reply)
Fuck me you people are completely illiterate.CHI-NESE FOOD.
CHINESE
CHINESE FOOD
I WILL BE ORDERING CHINESE FOOD.
You should like Chinese, anyway. Due to their national, er, limitations, they often build the counters quite low.
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Kroney, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:12,
Reply)
I am making a recommendation that your horrible french breath would be hidden by a curry, but chinese food would not disguise the smell of cheese and garlic.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:14,
Reply)
This is so right it actually hurts.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:38,
Reply)
Wow, Even for you, this thread is epically shit.I think you know what you have to do now...
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:11,
Reply)
I am single-handedly trying to rescue this abortion of a thread.It's not going well though. Apparently I've over-estimated the average poster's reading comprehension level.
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Kroney, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:14,
Reply)
That'll be a yes then.I thought you'd have hit the menopause by now.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:19,
Reply)
yes, but only a demonstration of the science of exactly why you're not up to the welly tops in grade A1 clunge, I fear.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:21,
Reply)
I can't, manI lie awake at nights worrying about you lot and whether or not you've managed to pull. It's a terrible affliction.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:24,
Reply)
AHAHAHA!I love the way you actually think you're on a promise tonight. I can't wait for it all to go horribly wrong.
(, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:24, Reply)
We've been seeing each other for a while.But thanks for the vote of confidence :(
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Kroney, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:25,
Reply)
I bet you'd even given yourself a pits and a pot wash in anticipation(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:27,
Reply)
"a Slough shower"(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:28,
Reply)
I like thisI mean I don't LIKE this, but, well you know
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:29,
Reply)
So now you smell of a heady blend of cowardice, garlic and Hai Karate...(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:41,
Reply)
Internet bullying, right here.I shall banhammer the fucking lot of you. Cunts.
A student on my fb feed has just posted this, from one of her uni friends. Reminds of certain b3tans.
Dear Iceland,
I am writing to you to express my gratitude, today was a great day in my life, in fact it was a day I will not be forgetting in the near future. Why you ask, oh tell you I will.
I am one of those dirty, stinking, poor students who get by on the little things in life. Firstly I would like to thank the local Iceland store in Luton for being right next to the University-of Bedfordshir
e
, this makes my life one hell of a lot easier.
Anyway, lets get to the point, today feeling a little worse for wear after having a raging mental one last night, me and Nick headed to the store in question to take advantage of your 2 for £7 offer on Frosty Jack's Cider (cheers for that) whilst we were there, still hanging from last night we decided to get some of your lovely chicken dippers.
Now this, this is where the magic happened, the packaging advertised that we would be receiving 25 chicken dippers, now this sounds fair for £1.50 but this obviously posed the question of who would get the extra dipper. Well upon opening the pack still squabbling over who would have the extra dipper we thought it would be best to count them, to our delight/ecstasy/surprise we found that there was not only 1, nor 2, but 3 more dippers than the advertised amount.
Now that is 28 dippers for £1.50, oh my heavens.
We worked out that in a pack of 25 (as advertised) each dipper is worth 6 pence, that means we technically owe you 18 pence, we're more than happy about this because they were 3 of the most delectable chicken dippers we have ever come across, you know what they say, all the best things in life are free.
Once again thanks a lot, we love you lots and lots like cheap shots
Two very happy customers
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:23,
Reply)
Oh, now I'm a fucking bear, am I?You just wait, baldy.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:26,
Reply)
Only in the sense that you're a big, hairy gay man.I don't think he meant you're an animal. That'd be well rude.
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Kroney, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:27,
Reply)
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:27,
Reply)
He's lolariously implying that I'm fucking a bear.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:30,
Reply)
10 points to b3thershonestly, I thought it would be fairly obvious. Once again it appears I've overestimated this place.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:32,
Reply)
I didn't know if there was some secret code for swapping words over that the non-cool kids like me don't knowso I just swapped them over by strikethrough. I know it's friday afternoon but it's not that difficult.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:31,
Reply)
how would you do it simply?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:33,
Reply)
You've still had to type the same number of words, though.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:35,
Reply)
Just to be clear, this is a new low for both of us in terms of online debate.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:36,
Reply)
I'm not strictly sure that's really any simpler than wot I did.but, fair enough
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:34,
Reply)
It's obviously simpler.Honestly, if you can't understand why that is the case I suggest you go away and find your tailor and discuss your latest suit alterations.
(, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:37, Reply)
it's obviously simpler to a retard or a toddler.yes.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:40,
Reply)
now that I can get.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:35,
Reply)
typical fucking scientistneeds everything fucking explained for him.
GOD INVENTED IT THAT WAY, YOU DICK
(, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:37, Reply)
?and also
?
I said I got it, Q. as in "that makes sense and is simpler"
Fucking hell.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:39,
Reply)
HARSH BURN.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:45,
Reply)
I'm glad I was able to liven up your shit threadby turning it onto a 'pick on b3th' session.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:29,
Reply)
This is all well and goodbut who's going to pick up the pieces when my meds fail to kick in and I head to KFC?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:32,
Reply)
Is that 'aw' as in 'sympathetic noise'or 'anotherwanker'? Because honestly, I think I'd rather be committed.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:34,
Reply)
I will, b3th.Don't you listen to these awful people. If you need a cuddle - any time - I'll be on the next train down. We can pop on a bit of Wogan and get mad busy.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:43,
Reply)
YOU REALLY MEAN 'ARSE'!!!!!!!!!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:44,
Reply)
I wouldn't if I were youI heard she couldn't reach properly so it never really gets wiped.
(, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:45, Reply)
I have some vomit in my mouth after reading that. Thanks a bunch.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:47,
Reply)
he hider inside a bigger rapist?what does psychochomp have to say about this?
(, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:46, Reply)
is the bigger rapist inside a van?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:47,
Reply)
Oh a height 'joke'.How original.
You fucking cretin.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:41,
Reply)
you should write a story about him having a wank, that'll learn him(, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:43, Reply)
"...and Naked Ape contorted about the bed as his semi squirted fathoms of white juice all over his He-Man bedsheets, spattering the walls and his signed Jimmy Osmond photo with his fresh, hot semen"(, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:46, Reply)
I'd click "I like this" but I don't want to give the wrong impression(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 14:21,
Reply)
I'd rather not if you don't mind.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:44,
Reply)
Nakers' heavy Neanderthal brow furrowed with concentration, his tongue hanging out like that of a cross-eyed bulldog locked in a Range Rover on a hot day, whilst his simian digits flailed helplessly around his nipple-sized acorn-cock. He wailed like a Downser with a dropped ice cream as he fumbled gradually towards the balsamics. Grunting with ever-increasing urgency, his over-long hairy arm became a blur, and his bleating hit the upper registers.
Then it all seemed to happen at once, as first a tortured, whining fart and then an oily, otter-like stool flew from his distended anus, splattering every seat within a six foot radius of where he sat on the bus.
'Don't do that, dear', said his mum slash wife, dabbing a foetid mixture of ordure and semen from the back of the man in front's coat. 'It's not your birthday 'til tomorrow'.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:48,
Reply)
well I don't know about you but I could cut glass right now.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:49,
Reply)
Like Bravo Two Zero it get's better with every read(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:53,
Reply)
actually i think it was better without the last paragraph(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:54,
Reply)
actually fuck off you bent spastic(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:57,
Reply)
I will do just that, as i'm off home and to the pub, bye bye(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:59,
Reply)
the less succesful follow-up to "pop-up pirate"(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:46,
Reply)
I'm bloody starvingstill only 22mins until the end of the day, then off to teh docs to get some new skin
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:38,
Reply)
There's a convenient hole to fill below your nose(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:47,
Reply)
Sandwich overdoseAlt:
It all tastes like alcoholic dirt to me. SHITE
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:46,
Reply)
My money is on it involving a few pints of Peroni.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:55,
Reply)
How much is a pint of Peroni in Sunderland?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:55,
Reply)
£1.20But that includes a free pickled egg.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:56,
Reply)
hahahai could drive up get smashed, feast on pickled eggs and drive home and it would b cheaper than drinking Peroni around here
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 13:57,
Reply)
+ 20 Woodbines and a barrel of 'mild'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 14:01,
Reply)
I've had this morning off as my son's nursery was closed todayI have been haircutted and made pumpkins
No Peroni was involved
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 14:01,
Reply)
What did you make the pumpkins out of?Old Space Hoppers?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 14:03,
Reply)
Yeah, slightly deflated ones(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 14:06,
Reply)
Like a pair of 'National Geographic tits'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 14:07,
Reply)
Best idea I've ever heard - a simply unmissable idea.******** Spooky Patel, Southall Advertiser
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 14:11,
Reply)
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