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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Describe yourself
How would others describe you?

Alt:
Best and worst qualities
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:35, 210 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Charming and witty
Charming and witty

Alt: Charming/witty
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:36, Reply)
You see wit as a bad quality?

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:40, Reply)
It's why he fits in so well here

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:48, Reply)
My wit's more cutting than George Osbourns hairdresser.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:49, Reply)
Bent and spastic
Alt: bent and spastic

Altalt: bent and spastic
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:37, Reply)
Your best quality is being bent?

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:39, Reply)
It really is.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:40, Reply)
Compared with his being a spastic, it is, yes.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:49, Reply)
You've gone up in the world.
You used to get described as a witless bent spastic.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:39, Reply)
I feel sorry for all the bent spastics out there, being associated with nakers.
poor fuckers have enough to deal with.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:44, Reply)
Yeah, your son has enough to deal with as it is

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:49, Reply)
IT@S OK!
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-business-20322017
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:50, Reply)
still, at least he's not worse than nakers.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:51, Reply)
There's a theme developing in these replies.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:39, Reply)
I see this too
I see this too

Alt:
I see this too
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:39, Reply)
Richer than Monty
Richer than Monty

Alt:Being Richer than Monty, telling people that I'm richer than Monty
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:41, Reply)
Who is this one about?

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:48, Reply)
Prince regent and heir to the throne of Moldova
your grace

regal/empowered by god.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:43, Reply)
Best one yet

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:47, Reply)
Chubby lesbian.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:49, Reply)
Blimey
New person ALERT!
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:49, Reply)
'a member for 10 years, 3 months and 2 days'
You bent spastic.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:50, Reply)
pfft.
what a noob.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:51, Reply)
I NO RITE!
Hang on a minute....
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:52, Reply)
it's ten years old

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:50, Reply)
nonce

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:51, Reply)
Thanks for dropping in!

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:57, Reply)
The world has just fallen out of my arse
That was unpleasant
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:49, Reply)
should have had steak and eggs for breakfast

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:51, Reply)
This is true

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:51, Reply)
you are Vishnu's upside down cousin

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:52, Reply)
Vesuviarse

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:52, Reply)
Vegetarian music-lover with GSOH WLTM like-minded friends for LOLs on the internet and poss LTR

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:50, Reply)

R I
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:51, Reply)
Lentils, tofu and ricecakes?

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:51, Reply)
Now you're talking!

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:53, Reply)

LOLs on the internet and poss LTR being tired and falling asleep by 9.30 at the latest. No physical contact, bruises easily.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:54, Reply)
Have you been spying on me?

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:55, Reply)
Up to 9:29, yes

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:55, Reply)
I like to eat a roast while doing it, and walk up stairs without feeling faint.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:56, Reply)
The world's highest authority on cult US dramas inc 'Breaking Bad' and all the cool zombie ones.
The go-to guy for Star Trek related trivia and facts about 'computers' and 'metal'.

Alt: see above/I once failed to correctly name all 14 moons of Vulcan
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:53, Reply)
lols

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:54, Reply)
Boy was my face red*!


*yes it was, mainly because it's covered in boils from my appalling diet and the fact that I haven't seen sunlight since 1986
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:55, Reply)
hahahahaha!

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:56, Reply)
probably cause there's only 13 YOU FOOL!
*puffs inhaler, pushes glasses up nose*
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:55, Reply)
I *THINK* you'll find, ACTUALLY,
that 'Th'g'n'paa'th' was officially declared NOT a moon at Trek-con 2011 ACTUALLY, but a cybernetic entity. GOD you're stupid.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:58, Reply)
It has no moons. DICK

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:01, Reply)
It has one moon.
fuck, I actually do know this :(
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:08, Reply)
You are AA AICMFP

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:01, Reply)
Sounds more like you, I'd say
Also, I've never seen Breaking Bad.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:06, Reply)
Breaking Bad isn't even in your top ten cult US dramas

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:09, Reply)
I've never seen Breaking Bad
And find Star Trek risible in the extreme. Also find most metal risible in the extreme.

Don't you work with computers?
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:11, Reply)
You should watch it, it's excellent.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:20, Reply)
If I was a shirter, I'd suck my own.
However, I'm not, so I won't.
Worst quality, is impatience, I do get annoyed if others won't pick up or understand on what I'm saying.
Best, I'm lovely.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:56, Reply)
No, I don't follow you...

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:58, Reply)
Don't blame you. Worst Twitter account ever.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:59, Reply)
I do have a Twitter a/c, but have never twittered.
I may do now, what does a twatter virgin say?
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:02, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1781938
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:04, Reply)
Damn you and your mindpiss!

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:04, Reply)
Eat more meat for quicker responses

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:04, Reply)
I will twatter now.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:10, Reply)
Just repost this.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:04, Reply)
Short fat angry bloke with grey hair who drinks slightly more than he should.
Alt: You tell me.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:57, Reply)
*opens floodgates*
Edit: I'll be honest, I was expecting more people to take this opportunity to say mean things about Batso.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:58, Reply)
So was I.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:17, Reply)
serial embezzler who has been jailed at least three times.
alias:
Frank Tone
James McGubbin
Mercedes Verona
Timothy Gifflond
Herve Vroom
Jesus Smith
Perriera Perriera dos santos Perriera
Jim Jam
Florence Machine
Winston Porkins
Clare Rubble
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:02, Reply)
Ssh. You'll ruin my 'cover'.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:04, Reply)
Gentlemanly hero of the people.
I have no doubt everybody else agrees.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:01, Reply)
*googles French heroes*
*returns 0 results*
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:03, Reply)
You missed both Asterix and Obelix

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:05, Reply)
They were Gauls, not French.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:06, Reply)
Gauls, Franks, they're all limp-wristed Europeans to me.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:07, Reply)

limp-wristed Europeans brothers
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:08, Reply)

brothers lovers
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:09, Reply)
Poor Frank

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:10, Reply)
+ Anne

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:13, Reply)
yeah, they're not French.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:06, Reply)
Now steady on!
You're forgetting all 7 members of the French Resistance!!!
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:07, Reply)
Shame the French did too

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:14, Reply)

h que
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:07, Reply)
well played

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:08, Reply)
Tall, grey haired idiot. Likes steak and beer
Tall, grey haired idiot. Likes steak and beer

Alt:
Helpful/Tourettes
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:01, Reply)
Disappointingly average
alt: as above
Good at explaining things.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:02, Reply)
Apart from describing yourself

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:03, Reply)
Sorry spelt it wrong
It should say "Opinionated insufferable know-it-all"
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:06, Reply)
you rang?

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:08, Reply)
I'm now imagining Lurch from the Addams Family
in a turquoise bri-nylon Polo shirt, white Levi's and peacock blue culottes.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:12, Reply)
you are a very strange man

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:16, Reply)
+ carrying a pair of discarded skiddy Speedos out of the showers
at a jaunty angle.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:16, Reply)
whilst wearing a flat cap

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:17, Reply)
"Skid mark on slide three Dozer, get the mop"

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:18, Reply)
Loud lol and slight tears in eyes here.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:19, Reply)
mouthy good looking shirter
Mouthy good looking shorter.

Best- my modesty, worst, my vanity.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:03, Reply)
Have you really worked for 10 years in an admin job without getting anywhere?

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:11, Reply)
what?
I don't work in admin and want to get further than I am.

I think you got the wrong end of the stick.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:13, Reply)
What is it you actually do?

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:14, Reply)
Admin

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:15, Reply)
he's in charge of urinal cakes

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:16, Reply)
Leisure centre management

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:16, Reply)
I work in Compliance

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:17, Reply)
+ urinal cake

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:18, Reply)
Strange word to describe admin

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:18, Reply)
What does that involve?

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:18, Reply)
filing, stapling, photocopying. Occasionally, if he's been good he's allowed to answer the phone.
Only for internal calls, they won't let him talk to customers.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:19, Reply)
Not after 'jauntygate' they don't, and rightly so.
They wanted to know their opening hours, but instead got subjected to a locquacious four-hour monologue on the merits of Brett Easton Ellis's 'oeuvre' - and he actually used the word 'oeuvre' as well.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:23, Reply)
The next time he mentions my oeuvre I'm going to punch him in the face.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:31, Reply)
*eggs on Brett*

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:31, Reply)
LTI

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:34, Reply)
He did it just two minutes ago.
The leisure centre closes at six - I suggest you hide in the car park and shank him as he gets into his cornflower blue Datsun Cherry 'Turbo'.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:33, Reply)
Gritting his teeth while having to tell people there is no alternative

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:27, Reply)
+ RED BANDS MUST LEAVE THE POOL AREA

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:32, Reply)
how do you mean?
It's ensuring that our IFAs operate in accordance with FSA regulations.

That's what it means, but it involves lots of skills and specific areas of technical knowledge
A large part of my specific role is working with the advisers on their marketing. Interdisciplinary, hence the two sets of professional qualifications I hold.

The Masters is for two reasons: one is because I'll enjoy it, and the other is to help in getting on fast-track schemes. I'll see which ones are available at the time. I'd certainly look at further marketing roles and the Civil Service.

Alright?
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:27, Reply)

how do you mean?
It's ensuring that our IFAs operate in accordance with FSA regulations.

That's what it means, but it involves lots of skills and specific areas of technical knowledge
A large part of my specific role is working with the advisers on their marketing. Interdisciplinary, hence the two sets of professional qualifications I hold.

The Masters is for two reasons: one is because I'll enjoy it, and the other is to help in getting on fast-track schemes. I'll see which ones are available at the time. I'd certainly look at further marketing roles and the Civil Service.

Alright?


Ticking boxes.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:32, Reply)
I bet he doesn't even get to have four different sizes of paper clip

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:34, Reply)
Boxes worth ££££s ACKSHERLY

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:35, Reply)
no
The FSA take a very dim view of compliance by box ticking.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:37, Reply)
yup, it's all macros and drop down boxes these days.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:39, Reply)
Yeah all your compliance is done by interpretive "alternative" dance I'm sure.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:44, Reply)
ahahahaha!! your job is fucking wank!
you don't need a degree to do compliance. yeah, you keep telling yourself that snowflake.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:33, Reply)

skills and specific areas of technical knowledge changing toner cartridges
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:33, Reply)
Compliance:
No bombing
No petting
No running
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:19, Reply)
You are ED209 AICMFP

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:22, Reply)
THIS IS A FRANKLY BRILLIANT 'FILM' JOKE

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:24, Reply)
It is actually quite good.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:25, Reply)
Nice to see SOMEONE is awake in here

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:26, Reply)
not everyone has seen the lastest starwars

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:26, Reply)
lol, you dull shit.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:25, Reply)
Is that the powder for diet milkshakes?

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:48, Reply)
A very varied job ACTUALLY covering a whole host of 'skill sets'
from locker allocation, stool retrieval, float management and ducking/bombing policing.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:18, Reply)
he's a level 37 warmage with special healing abilities.
mum says he can do anything he wants! he can't even hold down a job in kfc :(
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:24, Reply)
It's amazing to think that isn't it!

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:16, Reply)
I'm sure a masters in photocopying will sort his career right out!

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:18, Reply)
he could get some tips from Adam

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:18, Reply)
Not as fat as before.
Still fat.

Alt: Friendly and helpful
Utter bastard.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:06, Reply)
I think you shoud post a before and after shot
maybe you could hold up your old jeans and make a facial expression that says, "fuck me I was fat you could fit an entire family of Romanian asylum seekers in there!"
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:15, Reply)
AA isn't fat

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:20, Reply)
he just said he was and I've seen pictures

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:21, Reply)
totally wouldn't stab you more than once

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:11, Reply)
I believe this

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:14, Reply)
Perfect in every way
Grave-robbing housewhale
Alt: very witty but generally boring

Oh, and late to most threads.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:34, Reply)
And what time do you call this?

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:35, Reply)
Lunchtime.

So, when you say you're 'stuck in 1973', do you mean you're unable to sit up or communicate by yourself, and you're essentially incontinent and reliant on the bottle?
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:37, Reply)
No I don't.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:38, Reply)
Oh.
Well, as long as you're back there, tell someone about Savile, will you?
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:39, Reply)
Crack of dawn

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:39, Reply)
are you one of these typical b3tan females
that has a great personality but an arse like an oil rig?
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:37, Reply)
No.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:38, Reply)
fair enough, just a fat arse then.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:39, Reply)

No. Yes and tits that have sagged so much they can sweep the floor.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:41, Reply)
Well, the top of your head, anyway

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:42, Reply)
it's the sea birds I feel sorry for

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:39, Reply)
they're attracted by the smell of fish but they stay for the banter.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:40, Reply)

n t
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:41, Reply)
like glue it is

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:43, Reply)
Tasty sexy glue

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:53, Reply)
Nice one Yoda

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:55, Reply)
make it so! lol I love battlestar 5

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 14:03, Reply)
biddibiddibiddibiddibiddi

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 14:05, Reply)
bored of this now.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:52, Reply)
fuck off frank

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:52, Reply)
outgoing, friendly, generous, cannot stand pikeyness or twofacedness, spoiled, prone to passive-aggressive sulkery
alt: this isn't a real alt, it's almost the same thing. damn you and your crazy mind games.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:57, Reply)

outgoing, friendly, generous, cannot stand pikeyness or twofacedness, spoiled, prone to passive-aggressive sulkery fat northern tart
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:58, Reply)
xxxx

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 14:00, Reply)
Ah go on...
You could make a good guess as to how others would describe you.
Clue: it isn't the same as your answer.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:59, Reply)
now now
cunts who fuck off back to their hand-knitted from their wife's pubic hair yurt before i get to the pub and therefore did not meet me... do not get to have an opinion
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 14:00, Reply)
Pretty sure we were in the pub at the same time.

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 14:02, Reply)
i was told you had gone home when i arrived
also that the two things were UNconnected
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 14:03, Reply)
submissive female WLTM dom male for scat play and lols

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 14:03, Reply)
i like this

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 14:05, Reply)
I fucking bet you do.
swipey, figging for england!
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 14:05, Reply)
i saw auntie swipe at the weekend
i wish i could say i didn't think of your sweaty 70 year old filth. i wish i could say that.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 14:09, Reply)
did you imagine her burning her clit off with a hitachi?

(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 14:12, Reply)
Bit narcissistic...
Count me in!

Friends describe me as being quite loyal, caring, good listener and quite witty... Blah Blah

Those are good traits.

My bad trait is that I assume others will be the same in terms of morals etc, so i am let down a lot
(, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 14:39, Reply)

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