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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Good morning, class.
What's going on of note for you this week?

Alt: Good weekend? Mine was OK, but my spastic ex cancelled her inspection visit to my flat so I still have that hanging over me. I wemt to a pub in the middle of fucking nowhere (West London) on Saturday night, only to find a bunch of chaps I know from Winchester celebrating one of them's 40th. Bit odd. Sorry, 'random'.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 8:48, 229 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
I have AIDS

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 8:49, Reply)
They're not multiplyin' are they?
I do hope not.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 8:51, Reply)
Is he losing control?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Luckily he has a sub-contract with EDF
and is supplying electrical energy to the York area.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 8:54, Reply)
Oh no! Who will fill up the photocopier now?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 8:53, Reply)
Chompy.
He's getting my admin role after his redundancy kicks in.

He's an expert in that, along with everything else.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 8:56, Reply)
I gave Dozer AIDS

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 8:51, Reply)
Morning Monty
Quiet one for me this week, gym, watch a few films, things like that. Then, I'm off to my brother's at the weekend for my nephew's birthday.

Alt: Not bad at all thanks, spent the evening talking to the other half on Friday, gym Saturday morning, followed by watching the football, then heading to a friend's house for a booze and film session, which was nice. Yesterday, met the missus in Manchester, did a bit of shopping, got a new coat. Which was nice.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 8:51, Reply)
Hello Monty boyce.
Weekend was ok, worked most of it. Saturday night was a fucking proper Dick head parade. Last night was so quiet, I felt like killing myself.

This week looks to be fairly quiet, as I'm pretty skint after the holiday, might go see my dad at some point, who knows. More news as it happens.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Got back from Poland on Saturday lunchtime. Chilled out with my family, bit of shed time, pub, roast beef etc.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Funny, I went to the middle of nowhere too, but I call it East London.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 8:54, Reply)
East London is shit.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 8:55, Reply)
We don't get on when one of us just says somewhere is 'shit', do we?

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 8:59, Reply)
East London is shit because:
It's full of dog rough council house types whose families have lived there for generations who have no greater aspiration in life to get their own piece of social housing

It's full of trendy wankers. The sort that wear sunglasses on the tube and think they have an amazing career in 'media' because they're working as slave labour for a soho based production company.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:09, Reply)
Hahaha.
I walked past a place that had a sign on their window that said 'Please don't piss here. This is a family home. We are sick of the smell and of clearing up your piss in the mornings'.

So, yeah, on the whole I agree with you. Apart from the food stalls. They make it all worth visiting.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:11, Reply)
On the plus side, though, there are very few angry midgets.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:16, Reply)
I was in Kensal Rise.
Fucking wasteland - and a fiver to get into the pub. Yes - FIVE EARTH POUNDS for the privilege of entering a pub. Preposterous.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:06, Reply)
it's all shit round there

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:08, Reply)
You are so right.
The walk to the pub from the station was utterly depressing.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:09, Reply)
It's too keep the riff-raff out.
It didn't work it seems.


(Actually, I agree with you, that's just fucking rude really. I used to begrudge it even at New Year, let alone a normal Saturday night)
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:08, Reply)
It really didn't.
Rammed full of utter tossers, it was.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:09, Reply)
It appears I have upset QOTW. The spastics
b3ta.com/questions/ignoredadvice/post1785097#answers-post-1785596
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 8:58, Reply)
hardly difficult

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:08, Reply)
Good mo-orning Mi-ster Boy-ce*
In keeping with my online reputation I am going to see an Ethiopian Jazz musician this week.

Alt: Some good, some bad - little tangle had some friends stay over on Saturday night, which was shit; took the kids to Symphony Hall on Sunday, which was good.


*This is supposed to be in the drawn out drone of a class full of children responding, but it turns out that this is difficult to convey in text.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:00, Reply)
I guess with a belly full of air they can really hit those difficult long notes

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:02, Reply)
Hahah

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:04, Reply)
I can't see how this would help him with playing the vibraphone.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:04, Reply)
Is that some kind of hippy dildo?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:05, Reply)
HE SURE IS!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:15, Reply)
Got smashed on Friday and even had a "chicken" kebab on the way home
then felt ill for the rest of the weekend, woke in the middle on the night on Saturday and ralphed all over the bathroom. Good times.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:03, Reply)
My old oven was due to be collected by the council last night so we left it out.
It was nicked. This is an oven that came as part of a package, from (I suspect) MFI or somewhere equally shit, at least 15 years ago. It was also absolutely filthy. LOL.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:08, Reply)
Scrap metal innit.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:10, Reply)
I assume so, but the effort involved,
plus the time and fuel required to weigh it in must render the exercise almost wholly futile.

Irritatingly we paid the council £15 to pick it up and they want 48hrs to cancel so that money was wasted.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:13, Reply)
That's how my Dad gets rid of everything.
He'll stick things on the path at the front of the house before he goes to bed and wait for the Dale Farm Evictees to come past in the middle of the night. Works every time.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:14, Reply)
We do the same. Never fails. Even a sofa once. Gone in about 20 minutes.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:16, Reply)
white leatheret sofas are much prized by the travelling community for their "classiness" and wipe clean credentials

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:20, Reply)
Really? I wouldn't know.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:25, Reply)
uhhh I start my research project properly, then on thursday/friday/saturday/sunday I'm going to be up in melbourne for a dance event.
it is going to be FUN.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:14, Reply)
Also, I'm no longer a chubster.
Am now healthy and fit and awesome.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:15, Reply)
I don't believe you have ever been a chubster.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:15, Reply)
Pandertron required^^^

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:17, Reply)
wankfantasyertron required ^^

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:17, Reply)
Spastictron required^^^

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:18, Reply)
Ape?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:19, Reply)
platformshoesatron required ^^

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:19, Reply)
Bentatron required^^^

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:21, Reply)
well I was a bit.
I stacked on a bit last year, and I was underweight to begin, but I was sick of having a podge and flabby bits. And then I was dumped, so I figured a healthy way to move forward and do something for myself was to join a gym.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:23, Reply)
Good luck with that 'Scott Hastings'

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:17, Reply)
I'm assuming you mean Scott Hastings from Strictly Ballroom.
I had to google him, and I figure I'm not similar at all to the scottish rugby player or the american NBA player...
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:20, Reply)
"What's so wrong with the way I daaance?"

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:21, Reply)
It is both bent and spastic like

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:24, Reply)
+ me

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:25, Reply)
He shouldn't have added the Like.
Rookie Mistake.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:30, Reply)
*facepalms*
WTN
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:31, Reply)
Fairly lazy weekend was had
Chinese takeaway on Friday - was a bit meh.

Viewed a house on Saturday. Too small and too near the Metro lines so noisy. Had two viewings on our house.

Went to St Mary's Lighthouse in Whitley Bay on Sunday and went up to the light with the kids. Lighthouses are tall....

Ate "donuts".

This week I have absolutely nothing planned in as yet though I have a pending pub request to fulfill
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:23, Reply)
i hope your donuts were jam filled and sugar coated
not, some hideous American monstrosity "ring" docut with icing and other bollocks
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:24, Reply)
I hope your doughnuts were not spelled in an incorrect American monstrosity of a way.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:26, Reply)
Hence the "

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:26, Reply)
whoops, soz

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:27, Reply)
Ring donuts with sugar - eaten hot at the seafront

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:26, Reply)
ugh

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:35, Reply)
Fucking £3 for 6
Robbing cunts
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:35, Reply)
My dog has no nose!
How does he walk?

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-20365355
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:30, Reply)
thats pretty fucking awesome.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:34, Reply)
I thought so, yes

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:36, Reply)
were you paralysed in a cow racing accident and see this as a hope for return to your glory days?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:42, Reply)
I hope one day to mooooove

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:50, Reply)
I was confused when I logged on.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:32, Reply)
At first you were afraid, you were petrified?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:33, Reply)
Someone lollercoaster stole my username :(

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:37, Reply)
hahahaha
This is why I never change my name anymore!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:38, Reply)
I'm not that bothered to be honest.
Lets face it they'll never be as funny as me, people will see right through it.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:39, Reply)
that's true, they could well be funnier.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:40, Reply)
I did find it odd that you engaged AA in football chat.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:41, Reply)
hahahaha, idiot

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:38, Reply)
early on set dementia?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:33, Reply)
early on set dementia?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:34, Reply)
At least he doesn't have AIDS

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:34, Reply)
He might have forgotten

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:35, Reply)
This week has the potential to be a bit meh, just waiting on 2nd interview confirmations.
Alt: Excellent weekend! Friday night at my girlfriend's eating home-made burgers and watching films. Saturday - youngest daughter and her B/F came over, then a birthday party at a mate's house with much music and booze. Sunday - home cooked chinese meal and films on the big screen at my place.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:38, Reply)
Brian Ferry came over?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:40, Reply)
I've had to crack this seeing as the Captain here has selfishly denied me my George Formby gag.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:41, Reply)
Fuck all really, Boyce.
Got to let a bunch of companies know that I'm moving soon and so won't be giving them any more money. Aside from that, meh. Might go to the pub with doris but aside from that I'm being boring until payday.

One of my favourite songs is by The Smiths. I really love it. Why does Morrisey have to be such a massive douche? Or at least keep it to himself. Prick.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:42, Reply)

being
until payday
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:43, Reply)
One of my favourite songs is by The Smiths too.
You have good taste. Mostly.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:44, Reply)
he has a taste for poosicles

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:45, Reply)
that's why I said "mostly".

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:47, Reply)
'plopsicles' surely?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:52, Reply)
poopsicles

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:54, Reply)
I completed XCom last night.
I took the cowards way out on the final room and ran out of it and threw all my grenades and missiles in until only one person was left.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:45, Reply)
Tut. The way to play is you go charging heedlessly in with your balls out.
Play the manly way.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:47, Reply)
Explosionssssssss!

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:47, Reply)
LEEEROYYYYYYYYYY A-JENKINS!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:48, Reply)
There's a man to respect.
The planning guy on that video made my fists itch. Planning is for girls.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:50, Reply)
So i got my hardrive to USB wire and plugged into my new laptop...
and it all worked perfectly, so am VERY proud of myself.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:53, Reply)
Naked Ape
Proud of plugging cables into sockets.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:53, Reply)
all I strive for is your approval : (

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:55, Reply)
It is impossible to play computer games in a manly way.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:49, Reply)
I've got chicken.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:49, Reply)
Pardon?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:50, Reply)
Classic World of Warcraft video featuring a raid wipe in Lower Blackrock Spire.
Leeroy Jenkins is AFK whilst is teammates plan a room assault. In the latter stages of said planning, Leeroy returns, charges into the room yelling, as Naked Ape referenced, "Leeroooooooy JENKIIIIINS". He aggros the entire room, wipes the squad. His teammates verbally castigate him and he responds with "At least I've got chicken".

A textbook retort.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:53, Reply)
I see.
(is AFK 'a fackin' kant'?)
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:54, Reply)
Away From Keyboard.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:57, Reply)
i still don't understand teh chicken reference?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:55, Reply)
He went to get fried chicken, hence being afk.
The insinuation being, as it's widely believed to be a faked video, that he's stupid. Fried chicken being a food of the lower orders*

*I mean pikeys, not Battered.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:57, Reply)
People sit around debating the veracity of WoW videos?
Jesus fucking Christ humanity truly is doomed.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:00, Reply)
It's alright, it's not likely that they'll breed.
Leave it to evolution, she knows what she's about.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:01, Reply)
Quite apart from the fact that people actually make WoW videos.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:01, Reply)
I don't understand a word of that.
Apart from perhaps the implication that Nakers knows more about this shadowy nerd world than he likes to let on.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:55, Reply)
saw a the video on /links once
I know, i still feel dirty
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:57, Reply)
You know that none of them ever wash over there.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:59, Reply)
PS Think about what you have just typed.
A 'classic World of Warcraft video' eh? I know what I'll be asking for this Xmas.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:56, Reply)
a life?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:56, Reply)
A suicide belt?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:57, Reply)
It's getting harder and harder
to maintain my sexy socialite image.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:58, Reply)
Perhaps you should up the 'ex's tits photo' references.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:01, Reply)
I, for one, was massively impressed with Kroney when he did this.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:03, Reply)
I just thought it was amusing
I wasn't trying to impress anybody =/
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:09, Reply)
I bet your tale gave Swipe a massive wide-on.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:11, Reply)
Tonight?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Surely your Christmas name should be
Ding Dong MONTILY on High.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:44, Reply)
You are absolutely right.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:47, Reply)
That's not how you spell 'Mong' either.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:01, Reply)
someone was going to do this
T +G

but you ruined it
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:04, Reply)
They still can, I was t hinking more
of a D M

And, actually, another D M
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:08, Reply)
Ming Mong Mongily on High (what's he been smoking now?)

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:18, Reply)

soundcloud.com/dj-ming-mong
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:29, Reply)
I have just had an excellent bacon sandwich.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:55, Reply)

acon lowjob from a 6ft transexual sandwich
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:56, Reply)
Monty is 6'3

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:00, Reply)
Quick! Tell the internet!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:56, Reply)
Ok then!

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 9:57, Reply)
you came to kensington AND YOU DIDN'T ASK TO SEE ME
ok i was out all weekend, but still...

your ex is a twat.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:03, Reply)
Pot - Kettle - Greggs Hat?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:04, Reply)
there's worse than him

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:05, Reply)
Hiya!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:09, Reply)
i was thinking more like hitler and- oh
as you were
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:17, Reply)
I was well fucked off

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:04, Reply)
she thinks she's some kind of fucking puppet master

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:06, Reply)
He loves it when she goes in up to the elbow, that's for sure

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:07, Reply)
She's doing all of this to make Monty's life difficult.
Obviously she's going to use whatever she has at her disposal. Since she's not getting legal aid anymore all she can do are petty little things like this. It is a good sign as it means she knows she can't outright refuse access anymore as Monty will have her in court.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:12, Reply)
I'd not thought of it like that.
That's rather cheering.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:14, Reply)
Independant observer, chief.
Not an imperceptive one, either.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:18, Reply)
independEnt
turn some of that perception on your dictionary
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:19, Reply)
I get that wrong sometimes.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:20, Reply)
well ninja it baby

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:21, Reply)
I'd make sure you keep an accurate diary of all this, too.
So that the next time you go to court or meetings you can present evidence of her pettiness despite your willingness to co-operate.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:19, Reply)
I have summarised the events (or lack of them) for my lawyer already today.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:22, Reply)
you're so busy being clever that you forgot the obvious
she's a cunt
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:17, Reply)
Sun Tzu once said
"You can call any old cunt a cunt, but know why they're being a cunt and you can bury your boot in theirs".
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:19, Reply)
A wise man also said
"Give a woman a penis for one night and she can feed herself, but rape is the gift that keeps on giving. Like an abusive relationship."

Wise words that we can all agree on. N'est ce pas?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:25, Reply)
Remember, it's not technically rape if you shout surprise first.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Was it Oscar Wilde who once said
'We are going on a summerholiday, if you want to go yo Sven, We're going to London and New York City, And we take a little piece of Amsterdam, RIGHT?'

?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Wise words that we can all agree on. N'est ce pas?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:30, Reply)
I thought that was Mark Twain?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:30, Reply)
Mark Twain said
"Get my dinner, Nigger Jim!"

Wise words that we can all agree on. N'est ce pas?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:31, Reply)
Something for everyone there I'd say.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:32, Reply)

I'm fairly sure he was 'We're called Whistle and this is true, we love to do the things that we're not supposed to do. We don't mean robbing, stealing or mugging, in fact don't take this seriously, we're just bugg(er)ing'.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:33, Reply)
Wise words that we can all agree on. N'est ce pas?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:35, Reply)
I don't know.
I can't fucking think straight I've ear wormed myself so badly with that song.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:37, Reply)

Well this is my partner with the number one jam
Famous in the boogie in Amsterdam
He's the fastest rapper yo his name is Miker G
His rap is longer than a sucker MC
Well let me show you what my man can do
Rapping talking and the Boogaloo too
Well anyways, no more delays
Just listen to the beat box he will play

Dutch gobbledygook that we can all agree on.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:39, Reply)
N'est ce pas?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:42, Reply)
was that wise man you?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:30, Reply)
charlie brookers 3 rules for the internet
www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/nov/18/online-highway-code-solve-internet
I think they're pretty good.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:25, Reply)
Can be condensed into just rule 3, surely?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:29, Reply)
And there, finally, B3ta will become a wasteland.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:33, Reply)
If I can't use the internet as an outlet for me being a dick, then it could easily spill out into my real life.*

*More than it currently does, I mean.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:51, Reply)
I might go and visit that London on friday

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:26, Reply)
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO THERE?!?!?!

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:27, Reply)
You are in the diary, my man.
My Mrs is coming along to say "Hiya".

A wise man once said "Get your ass to Mars", when what he really meant was "London".

Wise words that we can all agree on. N'est ce pas?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:29, Reply)
Was it Heinrich Himmler who once said
'oh nice one, that should be good'?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:34, Reply)
I think the late, great Charles de Gaul said
" A thing of beauty is a joy forever. So why am I with this miserable bitch".

Wise words that we can all agree on. N'est ce pas?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:37, Reply)
I can't believe it was 75 years ago to the very day,
that Mao Tse Tung first posited his theory that 'he who smelt it, dealt it'.

Wise words that we can all agree on. N'est ce pas?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:41, Reply)
Well it was 1,000 years ago that Confucius say
Man who walk through airport scanner sideways must be going to Bangkok
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:43, Reply)
Ho, ho.
Nice one.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:44, Reply)
Not quite all can agree on this.
Let us not forget that The Second Sino-Japanese War was sparked after Emperor Hirohito countered this with the claim that "He who made the rhyme, committed the crime".
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:48, Reply)
Yes, that's true.
But wasn't it also laid down by Chang Kai-Shek whilst fleeing to Taiwan that "He who denied it. Supplied it. " ?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:52, Reply)
In 1940, wasn't it?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:38, Reply)
Is Doris attending?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:36, Reply)
I really hate that phrase.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:37, Reply)
Doris? Or attending?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:38, Reply)
Referring to a woman as a Doris

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:39, Reply)
I stand corrected.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:40, Reply)
Sometimes I call her the Judy.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:42, Reply)
Only when she deserved a punch eh? Eh? !!!!1111!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:46, Reply)
I assume combined.
As neither 'Doris' not 'attending' is a phrase in it's own right.

You're welcome.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:39, Reply)
Oh man, if he's one of these people that doesn't like the objectification of women...

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:40, Reply)
slags, the objectification of SLAGS.
How many times....?

Wise words that we can all agree on. N'est ce pas?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:42, Reply)
Yeah soz, I can't keep track of what's acceptable usage and what isn't anymore.
PC gone mad.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:43, Reply)
All you need to remember really is that birds love being objectified.
It gives their lives meaning, beyond the kitchen and that.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:50, Reply)
She is off to some fancy shindig
So I'm waiting on details of what she is doing. My plan is to sit in a pub and get faced.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:40, Reply)
I will see you there. I have a pass for the evening.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:42, Reply)
The finest 7 words in the English language.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:43, Reply)
Indeed.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:44, Reply)
Bettered only by
"Nah, stick those lap dances on my card. My wife doesn't look at my bank statements."
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:48, Reply)
Or 'I can stick this on expenses'

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:50, Reply)
Or "My name is Set your faces to stunned. I'm really good at counting up to 7 words and then stopping, look I'm doing it now"

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:52, Reply)
That's why my bank statements get checked.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:53, Reply)
...with the depressing inevitability of your own death?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:43, Reply)
New thread please

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:56, Reply)
I'll do a fucking music one in a minute so ON YOUR OWN HEAD BE IT

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:57, Reply)
done!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:58, Reply)

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