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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
So, as a result of changing to a Christmas username, I am now thinking about Christmas.
So what sort of Christmas decorations will you bother with at home?
Alt:Worst gift you’ve ever received?
AltAlt: Suggest a TV programme for a B3tan to appear on.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:26, 206 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
So what sort of Christmas decorations will you bother with at home?
Alt:Worst gift you’ve ever received?
AltAlt: Suggest a TV programme for a B3tan to appear on.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:26, 206 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I did an IT fail last night.
My mobiles power button was playing up, I assumed it was just getting dust in it, so I took off the back, brushed it clean and then screwed it all back in. I forgot one cube of rubber about 5mm wide that was meant to go back in. I ignored it, turned it back on and it is now fucked and won't do anything except charge.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:30, Reply)
My mobiles power button was playing up, I assumed it was just getting dust in it, so I took off the back, brushed it clean and then screwed it all back in. I forgot one cube of rubber about 5mm wide that was meant to go back in. I ignored it, turned it back on and it is now fucked and won't do anything except charge.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:30, Reply)
Unlucky
The reply I got from my IT fail 'mates' re yesterday was:
'This is not possible no, FTP is not available on the shared server environment your site is hosted on.
A report is the only way to do this'
Grrr.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:40, Reply)
The reply I got from my IT fail 'mates' re yesterday was:
'This is not possible no, FTP is not available on the shared server environment your site is hosted on.
A report is the only way to do this'
Grrr.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:40, Reply)
Do you know what the "server enviroment" is?
Because that's basically bollocks unless their using either Urchin7 or google analytics, and even then you can design a report which just exports everything then put it on a FTP.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:51, Reply)
Because that's basically bollocks unless their using either Urchin7 or google analytics, and even then you can design a report which just exports everything then put it on a FTP.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:51, Reply)
He may be able to argue that a exporting every field is a report
So you might have to pay for that report but not anything else.
Just say make an export for every field in the database unfiltered, once a day at midnight or something. Then they can drop those files on a FTP. Or they could send it how you usually get your data probably.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:01, Reply)
So you might have to pay for that report but not anything else.
Just say make an export for every field in the database unfiltered, once a day at midnight or something. Then they can drop those files on a FTP. Or they could send it how you usually get your data probably.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:01, Reply)
Yeah fuckem if they won't add a field and filter to a report without charging
then they should be inscribed on platinum.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:05, Reply)
then they should be inscribed on platinum.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:05, Reply)
Normally i wouldn't bother, but we are having muled cider drinks party so we had better show some willing
alt: sleeveless denim jacket, would probably be fashionable in that there east london now.
altalt: Localboy on "Pointless"
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:28, Reply)
alt: sleeveless denim jacket, would probably be fashionable in that there east london now.
altalt: Localboy on "Pointless"
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:28, Reply)
None at all.
Alt: My brother bought me a 'Make Your Own Lie Detector Kit', that was remarkably shit.
AltAlt: Chompy on Embarrassing Bodies
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:29, Reply)
Alt: My brother bought me a 'Make Your Own Lie Detector Kit', that was remarkably shit.
AltAlt: Chompy on Embarrassing Bodies
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:29, Reply)
Because of something he'd caught from a 'willing partner, honest'
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:32, Reply)
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:32, Reply)
AAs brother has rapey eyes?
The lie detector sounds like a cry for help, then.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:11, Reply)
The lie detector sounds like a cry for help, then.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:11, Reply)
I don't really have anything embarrassing on my body, unless you're counting a foreskin.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:31, Reply)
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:31, Reply)
Just the usual
tree, lights in the window, etc
alt: shirts in completely the wrong size
altalt: Monty in The Secret Millionaire
or Nakers on Jim'll Fix It.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:30, Reply)
tree, lights in the window, etc
alt: shirts in completely the wrong size
altalt: Monty in The Secret Millionaire
or Nakers on Jim'll Fix It.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:30, Reply)
Alt: that book you got me for my birthday.
Or the t shirt Stunned got me.
Altalt: You, in 'Smallville' LOL
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:32, Reply)
Or the t shirt Stunned got me.
Altalt: You, in 'Smallville' LOL
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:32, Reply)
Can we put one of you horrible shut ins on how clean is your house,
so we can watch that horrid woman wade through your spent tissues?
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:38, Reply)
so we can watch that horrid woman wade through your spent tissues?
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:38, Reply)
My place is immaculate
Coz I've got a little Phillipino woman that does the cleaning.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:42, Reply)
Coz I've got a little Phillipino woman that does the cleaning.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:42, Reply)
just because you've flogged all your worldly posessions to fund your habit.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:43, Reply)
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:43, Reply)
He's moaning on FB that he's hurt his back.
He probably tried Scarpe's sexual game.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:48, Reply)
He probably tried Scarpe's sexual game.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:48, Reply)
Be nice to catch up with Janet Ellis, Simon Groom and the rest of the guys after all these years, I expect.
You might even get your shoe back.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:59, Reply)
You might even get your shoe back.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 10:59, Reply)
i have, not sure I'm reallly not old enough to remember him though, so this is a little unfair
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:00, Reply)
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:00, Reply)
I need to come up with an Xmas username. Any ideas?
How about Reverend's Christmas Fisting?
The usual stuff - tree, wreath on the front door. Nothing too extreme.
Alt: A pink jumper from my auntie.
AltAlt: Bobby on Crimewatch?
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:02, Reply)
How about Reverend's Christmas Fisting?
The usual stuff - tree, wreath on the front door. Nothing too extreme.
Alt: A pink jumper from my auntie.
AltAlt: Bobby on Crimewatch?
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:02, Reply)
Winner, I think .
I thought of "Once in Reverend Fisters City" but it's not as good.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:05, Reply)
I thought of "Once in Reverend Fisters City" but it's not as good.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:05, Reply)
I'm really sorry too Nakkers
get confused sometimes, soz am a bent spastic
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:10, Reply)
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:10, Reply)
I am well excited about getting out the amazing decorations I got last year.
I wish we had space for a tree in this flat. I bet Gonz has space for a tree in his flat.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:03, Reply)
I wish we had space for a tree in this flat. I bet Gonz has space for a tree in his flat.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:03, Reply)
I was thinking that,
I'm off today too so could have it done by the time monty's home from work.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:08, Reply)
I'm off today too so could have it done by the time monty's home from work.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:08, Reply)
'Happy birthday Jesus!!!
Bad news mate - in about 4 months we kill you'
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:09, Reply)
Bad news mate - in about 4 months we kill you'
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:09, Reply)
Get one of them upside down trees that hang from the ceiling, then you save floor space,
and get to laugh as people walk in to it in the night.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:07, Reply)
and get to laugh as people walk in to it in the night.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:07, Reply)
Tree, artifial, one.
Lights, string, two.
Cards, xmas, maybe a dozen : (
Presents, xmas, under tree, two : (
Alt: any tat with Dr Who on it because people think if I like the show, I'll like a 'build your own TARDIS'
AltAlt: Dozer on Britain's Next Top Model.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:08, Reply)
Lights, string, two.
Cards, xmas, maybe a dozen : (
Presents, xmas, under tree, two : (
Alt: any tat with Dr Who on it because people think if I like the show, I'll like a 'build your own TARDIS'
AltAlt: Dozer on Britain's Next Top Model.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:08, Reply)
I got some Dalek cufflinks a few Xmasses ago.
I am ashamed to say that I wear them.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:11, Reply)
I am ashamed to say that I wear them.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:11, Reply)
Do you remember that episode
where the Daleks took over the world and Martha Jones, right, had to go to Germany with the oscar hagen key, yeah, and the Daleks were all ELEVATE! and flying around and shit and they were screaming, right, EXTERMINIREN! which is, like, German for EXTERMINATE and the Germans were like Oh ScheiBe.
D'you 'member that one?
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:24, Reply)
where the Daleks took over the world and Martha Jones, right, had to go to Germany with the oscar hagen key, yeah, and the Daleks were all ELEVATE! and flying around and shit and they were screaming, right, EXTERMINIREN! which is, like, German for EXTERMINATE and the Germans were like Oh ScheiBe.
D'you 'member that one?
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:24, Reply)
"They did this so that she cannot get an honest income from selling her own bone herself"
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:27, Reply)
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:27, Reply)
I don't bother with Xmas decorations tbh
Seems like a lot of faff, I'm only going to take them back down again in a month. This is also why I don't bother adjusting the clock on the microwave for BST.
Alt: My dad once asked my brother what I wanted for Christmas, and got pointed to my Amazon Wishlist. "But then it won't be a surprise!" he cried, revealing that surprise was more important in a present than it being something I wanted. This attitude perhaps explains the personalised towels and the end-table he has bought me in the past.
AltAlt: Barryfromeastenders on Crimewatch
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Seems like a lot of faff, I'm only going to take them back down again in a month. This is also why I don't bother adjusting the clock on the microwave for BST.
Alt: My dad once asked my brother what I wanted for Christmas, and got pointed to my Amazon Wishlist. "But then it won't be a surprise!" he cried, revealing that surprise was more important in a present than it being something I wanted. This attitude perhaps explains the personalised towels and the end-table he has bought me in the past.
AltAlt: Barryfromeastenders on Crimewatch
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Not much point if you'll just be sitting there alone in the dark watching the lights blink on and off as you drinka cold bottle of tesco's value "mulled wine"
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:12, Reply)
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:12, Reply)
As far as I'm concerned christmas is about the food and booze
Presents are a shitty distraction.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:17, Reply)
Presents are a shitty distraction.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:17, Reply)
You're probably related to this woman
www.facebook.com/#!/davina.a.stuart?fref=pymk
best profile ever, this woman is a psychopath.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:22, Reply)
www.facebook.com/#!/davina.a.stuart?fref=pymk
best profile ever, this woman is a psychopath.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:22, Reply)
Some highlights:
DAVINA ASSAN STUART WANTS PROMOTION TO QUEEN OF SCOTLAND AND QUEEN OF IRELAND. SHE ALSO WANTS POLITICAL ASYLUM ABROAD. I have unofficialy heard that I am Queen of Scotland.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:25, Reply)
DAVINA ASSAN STUART WANTS PROMOTION TO QUEEN OF SCOTLAND AND QUEEN OF IRELAND. SHE ALSO WANTS POLITICAL ASYLUM ABROAD. I have unofficialy heard that I am Queen of Scotland.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:25, Reply)
It does sound like she believes everything anyone tells her
and people tell her crazy stuff for shits and giggles.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:30, Reply)
and people tell her crazy stuff for shits and giggles.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:30, Reply)
SURROGATES NEEDED TO HAVE CHILDREN FOR ME (WHEN I INHERIT MY ANCESTRAL FORTUNE) £500,000 EACH.
I need ten surrogate women over the age of fourty to have my children for me. It's a large amount of money for a surrogate because I am a rare endangered human with unusual anthropological characteristics (which affect the pregnancy and also physiological health of the woman after the birth).
I am hoping that my inheritances will be sorted out soon so that I can organise my family home and budget, so that I can proceed with my plans to start my family. I will announce on Facebook when the British Government decide to give me my assets, but the public can follow my Probate detection/inheritance investigations on the internet.
Get in touch through Facebook.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:32, Reply)
I need ten surrogate women over the age of fourty to have my children for me. It's a large amount of money for a surrogate because I am a rare endangered human with unusual anthropological characteristics (which affect the pregnancy and also physiological health of the woman after the birth).
I am hoping that my inheritances will be sorted out soon so that I can organise my family home and budget, so that I can proceed with my plans to start my family. I will announce on Facebook when the British Government decide to give me my assets, but the public can follow my Probate detection/inheritance investigations on the internet.
Get in touch through Facebook.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:32, Reply)
I think it needs to be read in full
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx DAVINA ASSAN STUART WANTS PROMOTION TO QUEEN OF SCOTLAND AND QUEEN OF IRELAND. SHE ALSO WANTS POLITICAL ASYLUM ABROAD. I have unofficialy heard that I am Queen of Scotland. If it is true I want formal notification, because I do not want to be kept as a drugged puppet Queen forever!. I have also heard that my father is head of the secret Scottish Royal Court! The European Court of Human Rights say that all secret courts are illegal, so how are they getting away with this?? David Betts is my stepfather and I have recently discovered my natural father working for British rail at a local station. My illigitimate siblings have prevented me from getting my inheritance, while they expect huge fortunes from their natural fathers in the future. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- KURT SCHWITTERS AND THE 'PURPLE LINE'. The purple line is a secret underground train liine similar to the London underground circle line that carries only the German elite around London. It is a purple circle line, reserved for Londons first class underground travellers. Built after the second world war by Germans that came to live here! It is so secret that even the nobility do not know that it exists! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ THE CREATIVITY OF DAVINA ASSAN STUART : A PUBLIC RELATIONS INSTALLATION. INFORMATION ABOUT THE GALLERIES: I. Davina Assan Stuart in photobooths, (The Photobooth Gallery)., A changing exhibition of photobooth pictures of myself (Davina). News has reached me that clever criminals and psychiatrists can use old photos to cause behavioural regression, so that they can study and extract information from people about the past without them knowing it. The clever truth drugs! My great uncle told me all about these, a famous war hero he was. Having nothing to hide, and being a firm believer in information sharing it does not worry me. I am happy to talk about the British Government to anyone. If it can help me to get political asylum abroad I welcome the foreign press and governments to contact me about this also. England and English men are a big dissapointment! II. Paintings. III. Etchings and other works. IV. Davina Assan Stuart photo album. V. Photos from the early years. VI. Human Rights and Davina Assan Stuart (An exploration of the Scottish Monarchy and Princess Davina The First Of Scotland). VII. Photos of my ancestors. This is my most interesting gallery. VIII. Unnoficial and forced signature photos. New Gallery for newspaper/magazine cuttings and films. This is for the unofficial forced signature stuff. I have made all of the galleries accesible to everyone in my settings. There are approximately 110 images. I have a long profile on Linked In business network site, where you can learn more about me and my current business plans. Look under Princess Davina / Davina Assan Stuart / Davina Betts. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- RINGS, DEEDS AND OTHER GIFTS If you have ever given Davina a ring or other gift it was immediately stolen. As a child and also in her early twenties and thirties a lot of men gave Davina engagement rings. Some men thought that she was selling them for cash! Not true. GIFTS LEFT FOR ME OUTSIDE OF MY HOME STOLEN............Dogs, babies, 3 cars, a Harrods Duvet, Land Deeds, money.............. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ THE RAREST ETHNIC IDENTITY IN THE WORLD Now to stop Davina from proving that she has the most unique ethnic identity in the world, she has been told that the government has 'shortened' or 'reduced' her womb so that she cannot conceive, and also so that her skull does not change. This is to stop her from proving that she is one of the rarest human types in the world. Now Davina's skull will not produce a lot of bone because it will stay small. The British Government did this to her so that she cannot prove herself to be a rare human and also to stop her from marrying and leaving England. They also did this so that she cannot get an honest income from selling her own bone herself. Davina is rarer than all of the animals in London Zoo. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- I would like to make it quite clear to everyone that I disconnected from my family years ago. If you wish to make business deals that involve me, please contact me about it, and not my relatives. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- BOURNEMOUTH I have heard that Bournemouth is full of titled men (illigitimate from stolen eggs) that got their peerages through blackmail, the police have never investigated them. You are not supposed to have a hereditary peerage/title if you are illigitimate. Bournemouth police are letting anyone use a title. It's the same in London. They want to keep titles that they do not qualify for so that they can evade millions of pounds in taxes! They all need to be DNA tested. Bournemouth criminals falsely impersonating aristocracy owe millions of pounds in taxes! Why haven't they been bancrupted? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ANCESTRAL PHOTOS If you have any photos of my ancestors, please send me copies, so that I can add them to my gallery of Ancestor worship. I am hoping that my ancestors will help to influence my future to improve my life. I have heard that there is a collection of them in Monaco and there may be some in India, Norway,USA, Enfield and Worthing. My grandmother hid a collection of Scottish Royal Family photos under the floorboards for me at her house in Bournemouth. I have heard that they have all been stolen with the house. Does anyone know where my grandmothers Scottish Royal Family photo collection is now? Does Prince Rainier still have any? Does Anne Whiticombe (MP) still have any? Does Janet Mercer (formerly Princess Victoria Lafayette/Stuart) have any? Does Jeremy Clarkson have any? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DESCRIBE YOURSELF DAVINA I AM SIX FOOT TALL, have size ten feet, approximately 16.5 stone in weight, 42 years old, descended from Plato's Gold people, never married in England or anywhere else in the world, no children of my own but looking forward to it lots. The worlds finest genetics. I hate liars and cheats. My friend is my next of kin. Gunther Von Hagens is getting my complete cadover/body donation for plastination at the end. Still looking for a husband to marry and have my first child with, then hopefully ten more. I had a lot of men offer to marry me in 2002, life was hectic and criminals were loose in the area it was difficult to talk. I want to marry a foreigner and leave England. Catholic. Pescatarian for nearly all of my life, am not, and have never been dyslexic! Religious. Monogamous. British but want a new nationality, been trying to find a way to emmigrate for about eight years. I do not drink, smoke, gamble or take drugs. Love art and architecture, poetry and food. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- MY FAMILY SPEAK ANCIENT SECRET LANGUAGES ----------------------------------------------------------- My roots are from the race of people known as Plato's Philosopher Rulers, (or Gold people) my genetics are from an unusual race. Our family had bestowed upon us many years ago the responsibility of passing on ancient skills of communication taught only to the elite. ----- Secrets of Ancient Greek Mathematical Systems. -----An Ancient Greek language written in simple shape combinations (triangles, squares and circles). -----An old, highly secret language from Ancient India, known as 'delangari', a language so strange that it bewitches the naive listener. These languages and more were all ours exclusively until the last few decades when word spread of our mysterious communicative skills. ------News has just arrived that another communicative skill, the language of Runes or Ancient Scottish (was also our families exclusively, now it is amongst many more). Then there's ancient Irish, Celtic, German, French, Spanish, Lithuanian....... the list just goes on. In the past those that new the ancient languages without official tutorage were put to death! Before anyone asks, I was not taught any of the ancient communicative skills, there's English and thats it. A man from outside my family taught me reading, writing and mathematics. I learnt almost nothing at school at all. In fact when I left at sixteen I only had O'Level Art. Then at sixteen I left the family home and started to live independantly. Within six years of extrememly hard work I had qualified with a Degree with Honours as a Bachelor of Arts. I paid for it all myself with minimum wage employment. I was raped continuously, the police did nothing to investigate or stop it. They made no offer to help me to move away fom my abusive family who terrorized me continuously. I am the first Princess in living history to get a Degree level qualification. My parents thought that the fact that I was the only of their children born with the rarest of genetic characteristics of the race, equalled exclusion from education so my Degree owes no thanks to them. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I WANT FREEDOM OF MOVEMENT! I want to assert my right to Freedom of Movement. I have lived in an area that I hate for over twenty years. Can someone, a landlord/lady offer me a flat with reasonably priced rent in London or anywhere else? I am an excellent tenant. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MY CHILD MUST BE WITH ME FROM DAY ONE OF ITS BIRTH If you choose to philanthropise me to help me to become a parent you should be aware that following with the ancestral tradition of our accelerated academic race we do not consider a child ours unless it is with us from the first day of its birth! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I still have not had my original birth certificate returned to me. I would like my academic certificates returned also. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My advice to any young person growing up in England would be, leave England as soon as you can! Especialy if you are a woman. If you have the rare physical characteristics from the unusual ethnic race from Scotland do not stay in England. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Camden Council is employing a lot of men with my DNA! This page will be continuously updated. Davina Assan Stuart (Princess Davina Stuart first of Scotland). Formerly Davina Betts.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:40, Reply)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx DAVINA ASSAN STUART WANTS PROMOTION TO QUEEN OF SCOTLAND AND QUEEN OF IRELAND. SHE ALSO WANTS POLITICAL ASYLUM ABROAD. I have unofficialy heard that I am Queen of Scotland. If it is true I want formal notification, because I do not want to be kept as a drugged puppet Queen forever!. I have also heard that my father is head of the secret Scottish Royal Court! The European Court of Human Rights say that all secret courts are illegal, so how are they getting away with this?? David Betts is my stepfather and I have recently discovered my natural father working for British rail at a local station. My illigitimate siblings have prevented me from getting my inheritance, while they expect huge fortunes from their natural fathers in the future. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- KURT SCHWITTERS AND THE 'PURPLE LINE'. The purple line is a secret underground train liine similar to the London underground circle line that carries only the German elite around London. It is a purple circle line, reserved for Londons first class underground travellers. Built after the second world war by Germans that came to live here! It is so secret that even the nobility do not know that it exists! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ THE CREATIVITY OF DAVINA ASSAN STUART : A PUBLIC RELATIONS INSTALLATION. INFORMATION ABOUT THE GALLERIES: I. Davina Assan Stuart in photobooths, (The Photobooth Gallery)., A changing exhibition of photobooth pictures of myself (Davina). News has reached me that clever criminals and psychiatrists can use old photos to cause behavioural regression, so that they can study and extract information from people about the past without them knowing it. The clever truth drugs! My great uncle told me all about these, a famous war hero he was. Having nothing to hide, and being a firm believer in information sharing it does not worry me. I am happy to talk about the British Government to anyone. If it can help me to get political asylum abroad I welcome the foreign press and governments to contact me about this also. England and English men are a big dissapointment! II. Paintings. III. Etchings and other works. IV. Davina Assan Stuart photo album. V. Photos from the early years. VI. Human Rights and Davina Assan Stuart (An exploration of the Scottish Monarchy and Princess Davina The First Of Scotland). VII. Photos of my ancestors. This is my most interesting gallery. VIII. Unnoficial and forced signature photos. New Gallery for newspaper/magazine cuttings and films. This is for the unofficial forced signature stuff. I have made all of the galleries accesible to everyone in my settings. There are approximately 110 images. I have a long profile on Linked In business network site, where you can learn more about me and my current business plans. Look under Princess Davina / Davina Assan Stuart / Davina Betts. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- RINGS, DEEDS AND OTHER GIFTS If you have ever given Davina a ring or other gift it was immediately stolen. As a child and also in her early twenties and thirties a lot of men gave Davina engagement rings. Some men thought that she was selling them for cash! Not true. GIFTS LEFT FOR ME OUTSIDE OF MY HOME STOLEN............Dogs, babies, 3 cars, a Harrods Duvet, Land Deeds, money.............. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ THE RAREST ETHNIC IDENTITY IN THE WORLD Now to stop Davina from proving that she has the most unique ethnic identity in the world, she has been told that the government has 'shortened' or 'reduced' her womb so that she cannot conceive, and also so that her skull does not change. This is to stop her from proving that she is one of the rarest human types in the world. Now Davina's skull will not produce a lot of bone because it will stay small. The British Government did this to her so that she cannot prove herself to be a rare human and also to stop her from marrying and leaving England. They also did this so that she cannot get an honest income from selling her own bone herself. Davina is rarer than all of the animals in London Zoo. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- I would like to make it quite clear to everyone that I disconnected from my family years ago. If you wish to make business deals that involve me, please contact me about it, and not my relatives. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- BOURNEMOUTH I have heard that Bournemouth is full of titled men (illigitimate from stolen eggs) that got their peerages through blackmail, the police have never investigated them. You are not supposed to have a hereditary peerage/title if you are illigitimate. Bournemouth police are letting anyone use a title. It's the same in London. They want to keep titles that they do not qualify for so that they can evade millions of pounds in taxes! They all need to be DNA tested. Bournemouth criminals falsely impersonating aristocracy owe millions of pounds in taxes! Why haven't they been bancrupted? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ANCESTRAL PHOTOS If you have any photos of my ancestors, please send me copies, so that I can add them to my gallery of Ancestor worship. I am hoping that my ancestors will help to influence my future to improve my life. I have heard that there is a collection of them in Monaco and there may be some in India, Norway,USA, Enfield and Worthing. My grandmother hid a collection of Scottish Royal Family photos under the floorboards for me at her house in Bournemouth. I have heard that they have all been stolen with the house. Does anyone know where my grandmothers Scottish Royal Family photo collection is now? Does Prince Rainier still have any? Does Anne Whiticombe (MP) still have any? Does Janet Mercer (formerly Princess Victoria Lafayette/Stuart) have any? Does Jeremy Clarkson have any? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DESCRIBE YOURSELF DAVINA I AM SIX FOOT TALL, have size ten feet, approximately 16.5 stone in weight, 42 years old, descended from Plato's Gold people, never married in England or anywhere else in the world, no children of my own but looking forward to it lots. The worlds finest genetics. I hate liars and cheats. My friend is my next of kin. Gunther Von Hagens is getting my complete cadover/body donation for plastination at the end. Still looking for a husband to marry and have my first child with, then hopefully ten more. I had a lot of men offer to marry me in 2002, life was hectic and criminals were loose in the area it was difficult to talk. I want to marry a foreigner and leave England. Catholic. Pescatarian for nearly all of my life, am not, and have never been dyslexic! Religious. Monogamous. British but want a new nationality, been trying to find a way to emmigrate for about eight years. I do not drink, smoke, gamble or take drugs. Love art and architecture, poetry and food. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- MY FAMILY SPEAK ANCIENT SECRET LANGUAGES ----------------------------------------------------------- My roots are from the race of people known as Plato's Philosopher Rulers, (or Gold people) my genetics are from an unusual race. Our family had bestowed upon us many years ago the responsibility of passing on ancient skills of communication taught only to the elite. ----- Secrets of Ancient Greek Mathematical Systems. -----An Ancient Greek language written in simple shape combinations (triangles, squares and circles). -----An old, highly secret language from Ancient India, known as 'delangari', a language so strange that it bewitches the naive listener. These languages and more were all ours exclusively until the last few decades when word spread of our mysterious communicative skills. ------News has just arrived that another communicative skill, the language of Runes or Ancient Scottish (was also our families exclusively, now it is amongst many more). Then there's ancient Irish, Celtic, German, French, Spanish, Lithuanian....... the list just goes on. In the past those that new the ancient languages without official tutorage were put to death! Before anyone asks, I was not taught any of the ancient communicative skills, there's English and thats it. A man from outside my family taught me reading, writing and mathematics. I learnt almost nothing at school at all. In fact when I left at sixteen I only had O'Level Art. Then at sixteen I left the family home and started to live independantly. Within six years of extrememly hard work I had qualified with a Degree with Honours as a Bachelor of Arts. I paid for it all myself with minimum wage employment. I was raped continuously, the police did nothing to investigate or stop it. They made no offer to help me to move away fom my abusive family who terrorized me continuously. I am the first Princess in living history to get a Degree level qualification. My parents thought that the fact that I was the only of their children born with the rarest of genetic characteristics of the race, equalled exclusion from education so my Degree owes no thanks to them. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I WANT FREEDOM OF MOVEMENT! I want to assert my right to Freedom of Movement. I have lived in an area that I hate for over twenty years. Can someone, a landlord/lady offer me a flat with reasonably priced rent in London or anywhere else? I am an excellent tenant. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MY CHILD MUST BE WITH ME FROM DAY ONE OF ITS BIRTH If you choose to philanthropise me to help me to become a parent you should be aware that following with the ancestral tradition of our accelerated academic race we do not consider a child ours unless it is with us from the first day of its birth! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I still have not had my original birth certificate returned to me. I would like my academic certificates returned also. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My advice to any young person growing up in England would be, leave England as soon as you can! Especialy if you are a woman. If you have the rare physical characteristics from the unusual ethnic race from Scotland do not stay in England. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Camden Council is employing a lot of men with my DNA! This page will be continuously updated. Davina Assan Stuart (Princess Davina Stuart first of Scotland). Formerly Davina Betts.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:40, Reply)
I might message her and tell her I'm the Duke of Northern Ireland.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:43, Reply)
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:43, Reply)
Declare war on her and tell her you intend to invade her lands and claim her throne.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:44, Reply)
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:44, Reply)
" I had a lot of men offer to marry me in 2002, life was hectic and criminals were loose in the area it was difficult to talk. "
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:47, Reply)
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:47, Reply)
I suspect that in a minute some knight on a high horse is going to tell us off for making fun of the mentally ill.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:50, Reply)
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:50, Reply)
Oh, Fuck.
" If you have the rare physical characteristics from the unusual ethnic race from Scotland do not stay in England."
Better pack my bags, then...
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:40, Reply)
" If you have the rare physical characteristics from the unusual ethnic race from Scotland do not stay in England."
Better pack my bags, then...
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:40, Reply)
Dunno.
My hair is all grey these days anyway. I thought she meant 'pasty, overweight and foul-mouthed'.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:51, Reply)
My hair is all grey these days anyway. I thought she meant 'pasty, overweight and foul-mouthed'.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:51, Reply)
Tree, lights, cards
Alt:
Pyjamas
AltAlt:
Monty on The "One-E-Dun Line"
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:16, Reply)
Alt:
Pyjamas
AltAlt:
Monty on The "One-E-Dun Line"
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:16, Reply)
my mum used to have the whole house togged up, but we're always away now, so i don't bother
apart from buying my boss one of those ghastly sparkly camels from paperchase for the LOLS.
alt: a ghastly sparkly camel from paperchase (secondhand)
altalt: monty on one of those documentaries about implementing sharia law into britain
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:00, Reply)
apart from buying my boss one of those ghastly sparkly camels from paperchase for the LOLS.
alt: a ghastly sparkly camel from paperchase (secondhand)
altalt: monty on one of those documentaries about implementing sharia law into britain
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:00, Reply)
You mean spittle-flecked documentaries.
How was your night out? Did you see a Greggs Hat by the side of the road that said 15 miles etc.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:02, Reply)
How was your night out? Did you see a Greggs Hat by the side of the road that said 15 miles etc.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:02, Reply)
i'd put you on america's next top muppet
in speedos
my night out was great until my friend's husband said something mean and i slunk away drunkenly. he's a twat.
but finding a greggs hat right on my own street (technically a greggs cap, but meh) did make me laugh.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:03, Reply)
in speedos
my night out was great until my friend's husband said something mean and i slunk away drunkenly. he's a twat.
but finding a greggs hat right on my own street (technically a greggs cap, but meh) did make me laugh.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:03, Reply)
Yeah, I look great in speedos. I've got the abs and glutes, know what I mean.
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:08, Reply)
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:08, Reply)
come and answer my new thread
i want to know what you call monty when you're alone together
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:08, Reply)
i want to know what you call monty when you're alone together
( , Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:08, Reply)
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