What were some of your favourite books when you were a child?
AND WHAT WAS IT YOU LIKED ABOUT THEM - just listing names of books IZ STRICTLY VERBOTEN as it's fucking dull.

A couple of favourite books were these:

www.abebooks.co.uk/Shetland-Peg-Stubbs-Joanne-Faber-London/651410032/bd
Fuck knows why I liked it as I've never given a shit about horses but when I was about 4 I read it all the fucking time. I think it was the pictures wot dun it for me. Read it with my kid last weekend, she seemed to like it.

www.amazon.com/Twin-otters-Indians-Inez-Hogan/dp/B0007E1JSQ
This one was sent over from Canada by relatives and again I reread it fucking endlessly.

When I was a little older I was obsessed with The Coral Island by RM Ballantyne and Lost in the Barrens by Farley Mowatt: both Robinson Crusoe-esque survival yarns. Always wishing I was somewhere else. Reminds me of bashes.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:09, 224 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I'm leaving this here whether any cunt replies or not.
If you think of something at a later date please pop it in here. I am llooking for recommendations for kids' books basically.

Thnx bbz x x x x
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:18, Reply)

I remember reading the Rats of Nimh as a kid
Stuff like the Faraway Tree. I also read a load of books called DragonFall 5 which were like kid's space books.

Mainly I read fact books, the sad cunt I am.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:19, Reply)

I loved all the Faraway Tree books
I think they may be partly responsible for my love of hallucinogens later in life.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:22, Reply)

I don't think I read those.
Surprising as I read pretty much all the time I was awake. And am a massive trip-head.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:25, Reply)

Is your daughter still into pirates?
There is a series of books about Captain Flinn and the Pirate Dinosaurs which little tangle always enjoyed.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:21, Reply)

She is. Good one, ta

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:25, Reply)

The Pirates Next Door is another she may enjoy, as that has a little girl who goes off with the pirates at the end.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:29, Reply)

We had these amazing books in my primary school reading list
about a boy who had a picture of a sailing ship on his wall, and at night he would go into the picture and have adventures.

I always thought it was called The Silver Ship, but vast internet searching proves me wrong.

For older kids, you can't beat Gumble's Yard - the story of a bunch of kids surviving on their wits by squatting in derelict buildings.

I still think your munchkin would like the Katie Morag books, though.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:22, Reply)

Stig of the dump was something I re-read loads of times as a kid. I also remember reading Gentle Ben and really enjoying it. Then things like 'Swallows and Amazons' as I got older.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:23, Reply)

Swallows and Amazons is great.
One of the girls is called Titty LOL
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:26, Reply)

Hang on,
I like tits!
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:47, Reply)

My mate Dave has the unfortunate DNA to look like the kid from Gentle Ben

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:29, Reply)

Books are for nerds.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:25, Reply)

OK so which ones did you like, Trek-boy?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:27, Reply)

www.amazon.com/World-Warcraft-Official-Strategy-Guides/dp/0744004055
(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:29, Reply)

Has anyone got the link to the offtopic post about Mazbasarichi or whatever that racist cunt was called?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:18, Reply)

I thought he was called Noel?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:22, Reply)

Tintin

(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:18, Reply)

Pssst, update from my helpful friends:
'It is hosted on a windows based server, windows do allow FTP, but FTP is not available on the shared server environment you are on, this is not possible'

Such a joy to deal with.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:46, Reply)

Tell the nerd cunt to speak english

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:48, Reply)

"Dump all data onto a csv file and send it over to us in whatever secure way you can think of"

(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:11, Reply)

I'll let you know what his next lie is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:20, Reply)

Roald Dahl - Boy was always my favourite
I was also very much a fan of the Redwall series.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:18, Reply)

Philosophy in the boudoir by the Marquis de Sade.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:21, Reply)

Narnia
I was also a space geek as a kid.

I bypassed that whole teen fiction shit, I just went straight on to proper novels. Was Trainspotting published in 93 or 94? I read that when I was doing my Standard Grades.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:23, Reply)

Irvine Welsh is a shit author x

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:27, Reply)

he is now, but his first three are great.
Everything that followed Marabou Stork Nightmares has been drivel. Porno was excruciatingly bad.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:30, Reply)

David Walliiams' kids books are popular at the mo
Mine loved "Gangster Granny " and is getting the new one for Xmas.
Flynn and the Pirate Dinosaur ones are good for younger ones, also Giraffes Can't Dance (and others in the series)

I had all the Biggles books as a kid (via my dad), probably accounts for my war history fascination.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:28, Reply)

I'm not giving a penny of my money to that ghastly poove Walliams.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:47, Reply)

also
Tintin, Asterix, Stephen King and Dr Seuss.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:28, Reply)

Oh, Asterix, definitely.
No childhood bookshelf should contain fewer than ten or twelve Asterix books.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:30, Reply)

I never got in to it.
Tin tin was good mind.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:41, Reply)

Plus, it encourages drug use, so Monty should appreciate that.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:43, Reply)

being beaten around the head with god annoys me now
but as a kid i loved the narnia books, the famous five and roald dahl above anything else. being a typical bird, i was also obsessed with horses and loved the jill books and the jinny books. i wanted to live on the moors and have a chestnut arab mare more than i wanted anything.

nowadays i think i'd be harry smitten and be secretly hoping that this time "expelliarmus" would actually work.

i have deleted my amazing thread, you horrible bully.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:34, Reply)

I used to read my mum's old Enid Blytons.
I'm pretty sure the term 'working like a nigger' was commonly used in them. Maybe it explains my race traitor, wiggaboy love of hip hop.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:41, Reply)

Didn't the Noddy books have a Gollywog in?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:44, Reply)

yeah
Noddy is also Enid Blyton.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:45, Reply)

That's why I mentioned it.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:46, Reply)

Sharp as a spoon, this one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:48, Reply)

that explains your nigger obsession then.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:49, Reply)

One of the Agatha Christie's (I forget which one)
has the phrase 'working like the worst kind of nigger'.

Or at least, it did in the original print version.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:47, Reply)

Errr,
one of her books was called 'Ten Little Niggers' which was later (brilliantly) re-named 'Ten Little Indians'. Keep trying love, nearly there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:50, Reply)

This is a completely unrelated book, LOVE.
I think it may have been Witness for the Prosecution.

In a completely unamusing side not, I was once reading an original Penguin version of Ten Little Niggers (these days known as 'And Then There Were None')at work, and left it sitting on my desk while my boss was interviewing for an IT monkey. Obviously the first person who walked past my desk was as black as your heart.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:55, Reply)

I meant, LOVE.
'Keep trying Agatha, only one more name change to go and your book won't have a racist title any more'....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:01, Reply)

your heart de hat
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:11, Reply)

Douglas Bader had a chocolate labrador called Nigger.
True story.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:50, Reply)

No it's not.
That was Guy 'Dam Busters' Gibson.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:54, Reply)

And Douglas Bader.
True Story.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:55, Reply)

I heard he had it put down because it kept fetching his legs.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:58, Reply)

Guy Gibson did not have a dog called Douglas Bader.
He just had the one dog, and its name as Nigger. You are wrong.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:59, Reply)

Guy Gibson's dog had a dog called Douglas Bader.
True story.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:00, Reply)

He owned a pub after the war.
My old nan used to drink in there but she used to get a bit feisty when she'd had a few, so eventually Douglas barred 'er.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:07, Reply)

I remember him from the 1970's
when he was in charge of the militant terrorist organisation concerned about losing control of German districts, Bader Meinhof.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:14, Reply)

Peter Jackson is doing a remake of The Dambusters
The dog will be called Niggsy.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:55, Reply)

I got really in to my dads old collection of Sci-fi as a youngun,
There was a book that really stood out called The moon is a Harsh mistress, by Robert Heinlein. About moon revolution. I remember it being the first sort of fantasy/scifi that I'd read that was deeper than just lasers and fight scenes. That and a book about an alternate history of the world of ww2 had gone the other way that I can't remember the title of.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:35, Reply)

this is because sci fi is for kids, the morbidly obese, autists and IT workers.
I realise there is a large overlap in the latter three groupings.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:43, Reply)

i'd like a diagram.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:44, Reply)

Condoms are better.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:51, Reply)

Not your best work,
But I haven't clicked anything else yet.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:53, Reply)

The second thing might be the man in the high castle

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:45, Reply)

I read and had all the Asterix books. I think that, strictly, they are comics.
Every kid needs to know about the joys of roast boar. By Toutatis!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:43, Reply)

Unhygienix was my favourite character.
And not comics, graph novs, yeah?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:44, Reply)

Getafix for me.
Obvious really.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:46, Reply)

My father's second wife had an arse like Obelix

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:52, Reply)

It has an insatiable appertite for wild boar?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:53, Reply)

it has pigtails?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:56, Reply)

Is she the delightfully charming harridan who thought she could bake?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:56, Reply)

Yup.
Burgled my dad.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:57, Reply)

I have made it my business to collect as many as I can in foreign languages, too.
I have a load of French, almost all the German, a couple of Italian, and one 'regional German' from a great series they do over there with phonetically written regional dialects. (Think Oor Wullie type stuff).

It's actually quite interesting to see how they translate some of the jokes, bearing in mind a lot of them are linguistic.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:50, Reply)

tl;dr
Happy Thanksgiving twatbags
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:47, Reply)

I'll thank you to fuck off with your americanisms

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:49, Reply)

is this another troll?
Sigh
Why do I even bother coming here
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:53, Reply)

It's Naked Ape

(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:55, Reply)

I'm not a troll :o(
this is my christmas name
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:56, Reply)

it doesn't relate at all to your old one so how am i supposed to know

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:58, Reply)

the power of christ compels you

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:59, Reply)

to do what

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:02, Reply)

recognise me

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:04, Reply)

as what

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:05, Reply)

as the cretin he is

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:05, Reply)

Call him a bent spastic.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:04, Reply)

oh man, call baby Jesus that?
Ion know b3th
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:06, Reply)

Go on try it, see what happens?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:13, Reply)

*gives smallpox-impregnated blanket*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:53, Reply)

but what will you sleep under?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:53, Reply)

If last night is anything to go by
'your wife's veiny mams'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:56, Reply)

Happy Thanksgiving, Nutmunch.
Now where's my pie?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:57, Reply)

we aren't quite as focused on pie as you lot are

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:00, Reply)

I read a lot of Usborne non-fiction books as a child, as I loved learning...
As AA mentioned above I remember loving the Redwall series, or at least the firts three then it got shit
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:50, Reply)

You want to learn to spell "first" then.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:54, Reply)

You want to learn to show Jesus some respect

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:55, Reply)

Black Jesus?
"I rode into town on an ass".

"Yo' Momma's ass!"
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:57, Reply)

I loved TinTin Au Congo

Love Noel
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:52, Reply)

I read "His Dark Materials" as an adult and they were really very good

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:55, Reply)

If we're talking 'slightly older children's books'
then Diana Wynne Jones is a good bet. A nice mix of fantasy and real world, just enough for a kid to think 'ooh, maybe...'
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:00, Reply)

The hunger Games and sequels were shit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:02, Reply)

I don't recall mentioning them, but okay, I believe you.
Granddaughter No 2 loves them, though.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:03, Reply)

I watched that on Monday night.
I can't decide if I liked it.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:03, Reply)

I though it was good, I think it was because I had such low expectations.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:04, Reply)

I'd never heard of the books as I am not a big fan of fantasy stuff.
There were a few big names in it.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:06, Reply)

You should watch that 'Performance' film.
Have you seen it yet?


What about now?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:09, Reply)

I watched it when I got home.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:10, Reply)

Chinny reck-on did you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:12, Reply)

No, I didn't.
Although I have just watched it.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:15, Reply)

I'm watching it now on my 'WAP-phone'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:16, Reply)

I watched it on the laser disc player I have in my Casio wristwatch.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:17, Reply)

W F

Vibrate, does it?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:17, Reply)

Alright 'The Resident Loon' just because yours doesn't.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:21, Reply)

the film was even worse, that bird can't act for shit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:10, Reply)

Yeah but her tits wobble nice.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:18, Reply)

i must have missed this, I was pissed

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:26, Reply)

And she is supposed to be 16.
Which is nice.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:27, Reply)

I go away for a morning due to being a cripple
And everyone's flinging the word "nigger" around like a chimp flings faeces. What a world.

I grew up on the Famous Five. Also, The Railway Children, The Prisoner of Zenda, The Children of the New Forest, Swallows and Amazons, The Secret Garden, The Wind in the Willows at various ages. I'm not giving reasons of why I liked them, I'll be here all day, you cunt.
( Kroney, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 12:59, Reply)

You grew up on the Famous Five?
I bet you were 'Aunt Fanny'.

I started with The Five Find-Outers series. I read the first one when I was four or five, then just never stopped reading.
It may be one of the reasons why I never had any friends.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:02, Reply)

One of them.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:08, Reply)

"just listing names of books IZ STRICTLY VERBOTEN as it's fucking dull."
That's a lot of books for someone who clearly can't read.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:02, Reply)

I don't care about your so-called "Monty" and his so-called "rules"

( Kroney, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:12, Reply)

You sound just like Erwin Rommel

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:12, Reply)

That fucker rued the day he spoke those badly chosen words.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:16, Reply)

Z B *

MORE LIKE!!!!!!


*by Audun Carlsen (this is very funny btw in case you didn't realise)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:08, Reply)

Swallows and Amabons?
I don't get it
( Kroney, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:12, Reply)

he's being racist, AGAIN

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:14, Reply)

Well wash your garlicky pits a bit more often, discover the joys of toothpaste and maybe -
just maybe - you might have more luck in that department you Gallic ponce.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:15, Reply)

Alan Garner's The Weirdstone of Brisingamen I recall being cracking
A bit Tolkein-y but set in Yorkshire with a couple of kids thrown in.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:16, Reply)

My Mum bought me that randomly one day, i remember it being "fucking shit"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:17, Reply)

A more convincing recommendation than "Nakers thinks it's shit" is hard to imagine

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:21, Reply)

This book is fucking shit and needs the steady measured hand of Michael Bay to add some excitement
no stars Paul Ross
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:24, Reply)

Could be the next Harry Potter if you got Peter Jackson to direct the movie

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:27, Reply)

Good call

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:20, Reply)

I might have a copy on my bookshelf with "Property of XXXXX Middle School" stamped in it

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:22, Reply)

Was it an Australian school?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:23, Reply)

*click*

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:25, Reply)

roffle.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:46, Reply)

yorkshire?
now i like you, but you rare twat, it's all set in WILMSLOW AND ALDERLEY EDGE! in CHESHIRE!

it's also excellent. that bit where they are trying to escape and they are crawling through a mine where the crack is so small they can only inch along... man i had claustrophobic shivers for weeks.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:37, Reply)

Very much this
with also, added "that"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:44, Reply)

Mein Kampf is always a cracking read.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:18, Reply)

My dad wrote that, true story

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:21, Reply)

Shame he wasn't around long enough to write a sequel.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:23, Reply)

You don't know that.
Argentina is lovely this time of year. Just saying, like.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:24, Reply)

Did you know Hitler had a dog called Schwarze?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:24, Reply)

and he started a very succesful spice and herb company

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:25, Reply)

That explains the dog hair in my garam masala.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:26, Reply)

Thought it was called Blondi?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:28, Reply)

Call me

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:30, Reply)

"If you are going to buy one book for your four year old this year, Make it this. A Cracking read. Five swastikas out of five. " - Merry Fitmas and an Eppy New Year. from Battered.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:21, Reply)

Holy shit
Someone I work with has that bloody 'If I just lay here, will you lay with me' song as their ringtone and they've left their phone while they've gone for lunch.

I hate them. Whoever they may be.

Also, books, I'm no help. I devoured a series of books about the children of a big game hunter when I was young. I think one of them may have been called Hal.

That's literally all I remember though. But I suspect they were incredibly racist now that I think about it, so you may like them.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:26, Reply)

Did you ever read that book about the man who tried to stick his cock up his own arse in front of his mum?
It's brilliant.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:28, Reply)

Ah Monty,
As The Divinyls said, 'when I think about you, I bum myself'
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:29, Reply)

Willard Price's 'Adventure' series.
Google is my friend.

Also he was a zoologist, not a hunter, which is most disappointing to find out.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:28, Reply)

I think I read those as well

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:30, Reply)

Our classroom libraries at junior school were full of them.
There were hundreds of them, all with roughly the same plot I think.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:30, Reply)

Terrible what drink does to the memory.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:29, Reply)

I dind't get to make a witty comment on your QOTW entry about smoking and how it has stunted your growth, so please assume that i did

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:30, Reply)

You never make witty comments.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:34, Reply)

That rings a fucking bell
"something something African Adventure", "something something Amazon Adventure" or something? something.

Edit: ah he's found them. And no somethings.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:29, Reply)

i loved those when i could steal them off my half brother
found the whole lot in a second hand bookshop on charing cross road recently, paid about £10 for them. wonder where i put them, as i haven't seen them since...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:33, Reply)

Scarpe put them up his arse
by mistake.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:34, Reply)

the first bit rings true
the second does not
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:35, Reply)

A bit racist, especially Cannibal Adventure
"The brothers coolly tackle their task - despite doom-laden prophecies from Mumbo, a Watussi chieftain - and as the temperature rises, the danger intensifies."
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:44, Reply)

hahaha really??
christ
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:49, Reply)

www.cracked.com/article_19610_the-6-most-secretly-racist-classic-childrens-books_p2.html
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:52, Reply)

roffle
i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/4/6/3/106463_v1.jpg
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 14:06, Reply)

No time for reading. That penis isn't going to stick itself up my arse.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:29, Reply)

Monty'll help you.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:31, Reply)

Is that you, Mum? I'm blind drunk.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:32, Reply)

You'll all get bored of this before I do.
(This is so patently untrue, isn't it? This is going to haunt me forever)
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:35, Reply)

It's done out of love.
And because it is fucking hilarious.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:35, Reply)

Only until someone else owns up to something worse
Which, looking at the shower round here, shouldn't take long.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:36, Reply)

Don't drop the soap

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:39, Reply)

you're posting from the shower?
kinky
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:40, Reply)

only for you, petal.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:41, Reply)

gosh i'm all steamed up

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:47, Reply)

do manage to stick my cock up my arse
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:36, Reply)

you can talk to me
i'm not one to go on and on about old things until everyone is bored of them and then go on about them some more, oh no.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:36, Reply)

Have you got your listening Greggs Hat on?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:38, Reply)

i listened to it last night after you alerted me to its presence
and yea verily i did LOL
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:40, Reply)

Nice bit of drunken catterwalling.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:41, Reply)

still better than the original

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:45, Reply)

I would like to own up to my ignorance of this Greggs Hat debacle.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:43, Reply)

me too.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:43, Reply)

re-cap:
monty and stunned met my ex
thought he looked like he was wearing a greggs hat
much has been made on here of said greggs hat

i was walking home last night
lying on the pavement was...
.... a greggs hat

many LOLS were had
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:44, Reply)

whats a greggs hat.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:44, Reply)

a hat that the staff wear in greggs

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:45, Reply)

oh, see, now that makes sense,
I thought it was some hitherto undiscovered style of headwear.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:47, Reply)

All sang to the tune of the B-52's "Love shack"
substituting the real lyrics with Greggs Hat wherever possible.

So, If you see a Greggs Hat at the side of the road etc.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:53, Reply)

A hat worn by employees of popular high-street bakery chain Greggs

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:45, Reply)

I read that without the 's' and thought you were using it as rhyming slang.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:47, Reply)

bum penis lol.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:52, Reply)

My favourite rhyming slang is
'tried to stick my cock up my own glass' which is cockney for 'tried to stick my cock up my own arse'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:54, Reply)

like the susan boyle twitter fiasco
where susan album party has predictably rocked the interweb as

sus anal bum party

now come and play in my shiny new thread without stomping it this time
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:56, Reply)

It's a good one.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:56, Reply)

Good one.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:57, Reply)

hang on, your ex wears a hat in public, regardless of what it looks like?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:45, Reply)

he did that day
something to do with a bad hair day...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:46, Reply)

I'd call him a screaming bertie
but that'd be like pissing into niagra falls.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:47, Reply)

viagra falls

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:48, Reply)

'Drink your tea before it gets cold'

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:35, Reply)

Hal and Roger Hunt.
Really disappointing that no member of their family was called "Mike"

Still, cracking kid's books "back in the day"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:34, Reply)

the underwater one
where the dude tried to saw his own foot off, and they got chased by an octopus on a speed raft.... brilliant.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:35, Reply)

A speed raft? Wow!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:36, Reply)

it's almost like you're being sarcastic, bebbeh

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:36, Reply)

NEVER!!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:38, Reply)

it's almost like you're being sarcastic, bebbeh

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:39, Reply)

That might very well be "underwater adventure"
nothing if not imaginative with titles, our Willard
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:38, Reply)

it is indeed

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:39, Reply)

That can't be right, can it?
I might have to read these again.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:39, Reply)

If even half of what I seem to remember about them is true,
Mr Price must have ingested approximately 3.4 metric fucktons of "substances" during the authoring process.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:41, Reply)

the best one was 'Auto-sodomy Adventure'
in which Willard trys to make the female obsolete in the human mating process.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:42, Reply)

It started promisingly but didn't reach a satisfying conclusion.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:46, Reply)

The last chapter is sphincter-tightening, apparently .

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:55, Reply)

I need help.
i want to identify what song another song is sampled from.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:54, Reply)

It's Dayream Believer by The Monkees

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:56, Reply)

we'll take this to the new thread.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 13:57, Reply)

It's California Reaming, by the Mamas and Papas

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 14:00, Reply)