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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I'm having a dinner party on Monday.
What should I cook. For 4 people. Non fussy eaters.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:36, 205 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
Steak

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:36, Reply)
Mehhh, that's not really showing off my culinary super skillz

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:37, Reply)
do some chips too

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:38, Reply)
Doing steak well is a good way to show this off
Make good chips and a bearnaise/peppercorn sauce
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:39, Reply)
No mushy peas, Sporters?
I thought you lot had them with every meal?
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:41, Reply)
I had some last night ACKSHULLY

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:42, Reply)
Good point.
But cooking 4 and having them ready all at once is a bit of a pain.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:46, Reply)
Buy thicker fillet steaks
4 should fit in a big frying pan
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:48, Reply)
Lasagne

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:37, Reply)

Seared scallops
Rack of lamb
Cheese.

Nice & easy to cook after work.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:37, Reply)
I've never cooked scallops, I have a fear of overdoing them.
That was before I had a gas hob though...
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:41, Reply)
Hot butter, turn them every 30 seconds. Cut in to one to check how cooked it is.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:42, Reply)
+kill yourself
this final step is vital
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:44, Reply)
Needs a crusty edge for maximum taste

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:45, Reply)
Like your wife's zzzzzzzzzzzzz

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:47, Reply)
Roe need for that

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:48, Reply)
Hahahahaha.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:53, Reply)
go all come dine with me and do something with a jus

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:38, Reply)
Typical jus

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:38, Reply)
This is good.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:39, Reply)
Everyone here who will be the Daddy on Sunday
put their hands up.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:39, Reply)
*puts*
I broke down in tears in fucking Sainsbo's. So undignified.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:41, Reply)
Onion aisle?

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:42, Reply)
Very good

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:42, Reply)
Think that's a place only Kroney goes up.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:44, Reply)
yes

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:46, Reply)
Good lad.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:42, Reply)
Poof.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:44, Reply)
is there any more news from the mediators or solicitors?
Have you considered writing an empassioned article for the guardians "comment is free" section?
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:47, Reply)
if he wants people to read it he should jan moir it up with something about the gays

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:30, Reply)
Queerbo

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:49, Reply)
Calves liver w/sage and butter. Dauphinoise potatos and broccolli or french beans.
Can all be done before except pan frying 4 bits of liver which takes 5 minutes.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:38, Reply)
I prefer mine spoon fried

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:40, Reply)
You'll get a fucking pan face in a minute.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:41, Reply)
I prefer mine spoon spanged

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:43, Reply)
never heard of deep fat fryers no?

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:43, Reply)
Like Bobby?

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:43, Reply)
yeah he's ok

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:46, Reply)
and _that_ is one of the reasons you're one of my faves, true story.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:50, Reply)
Something vegetarian!

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:39, Reply)
Frosties

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:39, Reply)
guess what I'm cooking on Sunday?
Xmas dinner for my kid.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:39, Reply)
No way!

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:40, Reply)
\o/
Access restored then
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:40, Reply)
til the next mental breakdown

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:41, Reply)
Better cook it on Saturday then

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:43, Reply)
Don't back down, man.
Keep the solicitor's threat letters coming.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:54, Reply)
Especially now they are free.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:55, Reply)
^this, very much so.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:56, Reply)
fucking right

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:13, Reply)
I really hope this happens.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:40, Reply)
it will.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:41, Reply)
What's caused the sudden change of tack?

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:42, Reply)
fear of court I expect

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:43, Reply)
AND you can have a chat with her tonight.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:45, Reply)
can't wait man

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:47, Reply)
EXCELLENT.
Great news.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:41, Reply)
Whoop, don't give her the off bread

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:42, Reply)
whoop, has she backed down or did your solicitor beat her up?

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:43, Reply)
both

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:44, Reply)
top stuff, lets hope it sticks

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:46, Reply)
\o/

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:48, Reply)
This is awesome news,
ignore my up there question, i didn't scroll down.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:48, Reply)
way to ruin some poor turkey's post-christmas buzz
it was probably planning a cruise
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:52, Reply)
Oh. Emm. Gee.
I'm really happy for you, you smelly tramp.

Are you going to put the tree back up and everything?
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:53, Reply)
After the pain he went through pulling it out?

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:54, Reply)
*something about pricks up his arse*

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:55, Reply)
i sure am

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:12, Reply)
Congratulations!

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:57, Reply)
Excellent news Monty
I hope you keep up the pressure on her though. She can't be allowed to carry on with the unreasonable / mental behaviour.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:09, Reply)
Horse

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:39, Reply)
:-(

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:40, Reply)
One of them breeds horses for a living.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:43, Reply)
They can bring the MANE course then!

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:43, Reply)
Just ask them why the long face

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:45, Reply)
They'll get the trots.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:45, Reply)

i.qkme.me/3t5s9m.jpg
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:45, Reply)
These are pleasingly simple but effective.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:47, Reply)
I can't see this

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:50, Reply)
That's why MANE was in capitals, it was an ironic joke on the nature of topical puns
this clearly went right over your jew fro topped bonce.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:54, Reply)
Best ask them for advice on the best seasoning then

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:46, Reply)
Not Fall

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:47, Reply)
steak.
poo.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:42, Reply)
I properly do not fucking care

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:44, Reply)
aren't you invited?

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:45, Reply)
Who wouldn't invite a KING?

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:45, Reply)
An EMPEROR.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:46, Reply)
THAT@S NO MOON

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:46, Reply)
A republican?

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:46, Reply)
What's windy got against royalty

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:01, Reply)
FOOD FRANK! TALK ABOUT FOOD!

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:47, Reply)
no thanks, imma go clean out the parrot's plop tray

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:49, Reply)
BOLLOCKS PARROT

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:50, Reply)
*SQUAWK*

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:51, Reply)
are they wet or do they go like concrete?

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:15, Reply)
he does a MASSIVE one first thing in the morning, it's quite impressive

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:24, Reply)
I bet you have a glass bottomed birdcage swinging above your pillow

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:31, Reply)
I mean you wouldn't think a parrot could hold that much plop inside without exploding
and he saves them up overnight then flies to his plop tray first thing in the morning and just lets rip

I should video it really, you'd find it fascinating
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:31, Reply)
There'll always be a place on the internet
for videos of birds pooping.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:54, Reply)
A thin veg soup
with some hot spices in to start

Something freezer based for dessert
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:46, Reply)
turds?

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:47, Reply)
and whey

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:49, Reply)
Something chutney based.
With a side order of ferret.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:52, Reply)
officelol

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:54, Reply)
& something from the uphill garden
with fudge for dessert, well packed, obv.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:56, Reply)
Cook your own face

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:53, Reply)
There isn't a pan big enough.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:54, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1877530
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:54, Reply)
in better news you wouldn't need to add oil as the meat would be greasy enough already

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:55, Reply)
Monty's face doesn't have to be greasy
just add a liddle rice wine.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:07, Reply)
Slow cooker boeuf bourguignon
with horseradish mash.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:55, Reply)
Can you get that mash ready made at Tesco!

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:57, Reply)
They do frozen mash
I've tried it, it's alright as long as you put stuff in it.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 13:59, Reply)
Frozen fucking mash?
Behave!
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:08, Reply)
And I get called a cunt for being a vegetarian.
At least I can cook a potato.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:10, Reply)
For when you feeling too lazy even to mash some fucking potatoes

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:13, Reply)
Tsk, tsk.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:23, Reply)
I GET THIS JOKE!!!!

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:00, Reply)
It's not in capitals so it's unironic.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:00, Reply)
Oh man, that makes nakers a massive bent spastic.
:(
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:01, Reply)
that's what the exclamation mark is for, do keep up

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:01, Reply)
No, the vagina mark (!)
is what you meant to do you bent spastic.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:02, Reply)
that wouldn't make sense though?

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:04, Reply)
Your face wouldn't make sense.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:10, Reply)
I'm just throwing some ideas out there...
Or how about....How about Perfect burger'n'chips? With the double-fried chips, and the burger having a nice salsa, gwakamoli and melt-in-the-middle blue cheese.

Or how about.... Home made roast butternut-squash ravioli in a burnwazette with toasted pine nuts and some reserved roasted BS cubes*.

Or how about.... A really nice malasian/thai curry with coconut rice?
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:03, Reply)
I know a great red curry recipe and it's easy peasy

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:04, Reply)
Burger could be good.
Make the buns myself and get some top quality beef. Annd that's the sort of thing that's fairly impressive if done right.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:04, Reply)
make teh burgers with secret melting cheese in the middle as a scolding hot surprise for your guest
is supermatt going?
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:05, Reply)
Home made burgers are seriously NOM.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:06, Reply)
Remember the guy who won Master Chef a few years ago doing three posh burgers?
I can't remember the details, but I'm sure they're online.

I think one of them had fois gras, I'm not saying go that far, but a bit of liver in a burger would be amazing.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:08, Reply)
Mmmmm, you could do a striaght up offal burger.
Get some oxtail, slow cook it for about 6/7 hours, de bone it, then mix it in with some flash fried liver and kidneys and some ground fillet steak, then lightly cook the lot.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:10, Reply)
I saw someone make a duck breast burger the otehr day, looked great

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:11, Reply)
Food & Drink?

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:12, Reply)
Yeah that was it, i would have destroyed that
EDIT: www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0157hy4

Your welcome chompy you picture making prick
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:13, Reply)
You fancy that frizzy haired wine drinking bird.
Oz Clark.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:15, Reply)
New one is alright, but she has a beastly northern accent
which makes me think she knows nothing about wine, but just reads a script
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:17, Reply)
I'd beast the fuck out of her.
She could have a go on my pinot etc.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:22, Reply)
I'd give her a mouth full of Semenllion

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:23, Reply)
I don't know about you but I've got a semi on

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:24, Reply)
I assume this is the case for the business news woman on BBC breakfast.
I cannot take her seriously as knowing about anything she is talking about.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:23, Reply)
The bird wot does channel five smiles during all stories
regardless of how horrific they might be
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:23, Reply)
She looks like an Amazon or something

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:24, Reply)
*Orders Paul Ross Canvas*

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:25, Reply)
She is very tall
but something about her makes her very unnattractive to me, and I can't work out what it is. I think it's mainly her accent actually. If she never spoke I'd probably think she was alright, but now I know what her voice sounds like I could never imagine fingering her up against a wall or seomthing.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:28, Reply)
What's her name?

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:29, Reply)
Stephanie McGovern

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:38, Reply)
Looks shit.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:20, Reply)
I'd rince that so hard

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:23, Reply)
Damn straight
I might make them next time I have people over
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:24, Reply)
I reckon though, maybe some kind of condiment.
Maybe ho-soin mayo?
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:25, Reply)
I'm not sure hoi sin mayo would work...
Also the cheese and hoi sin?
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:28, Reply)
I like the duck kebabs they do in Sainsburys.
I mean, they're shit and greasy and rank, but in that nice way.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:13, Reply)
I hate that duck.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:23, Reply)
*puts fist up stunned's anus*
*in a left handwringing manner*
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:23, Reply)
Ray A Kroc

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:11, Reply)
Burgers it is.
I'll make most the stuff on Sunday, SORTED
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:19, Reply)
duck burgers?

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:20, Reply)
OK then, he won't make the burgers

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:22, Reply)
It's you or the duck my bovine buddy

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:22, Reply)
Nah, I don't have a mincer.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:23, Reply)
Darth will be so dicapointed =(

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:24, Reply)
Butcher would do it for you

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:24, Reply)
I don't think the local halal butcher would have any duck breasts.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:26, Reply)
why do you buy halal, do you like torturing animals?
I bet you pulled the wings off insects when you were a child and wet the bed and played with fire.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:27, Reply)
closest butcher innit.

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:29, Reply)
Would you finger your mum rather than a fit bird, because she was geographically closer to you?

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:32, Reply)
HAHA!
Best reasoning ever.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:40, Reply)
Win !

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:24, Reply)
YOUR BALLS ON A HOTPLATE

(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:33, Reply)
did you ever play that game, where 2 people sit on one of those induction hobs,
both turned to full at the same time, and the first person to get off loses?
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:41, Reply)
No I didn't
But now I will
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:43, Reply)
i burnt a really nice pair of jeans playing that game,
there is also a variant when you have a really iced up freezer, you can chip out a nice big block, and both sit on one of those.
(, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 14:46, Reply)

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