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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Fuck that.
My father is currently in Belize building a school or some shit. He's 70 in a couple of months. Plumdozer is in his 30s and yet still walks around with Metal Mickey shit stuck in his face, and dresses like some bent sk8 kid.

Do you do things you really should have packed in years ago had you any dignity? I know I certainly do. Perhaps someone you know embarrasses you with their refusal to age gracefully.

Tell us your tales of embarrassing parents etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:01, 183 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Terrible bullying of AA here

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:02, Reply)
It's so embarrsing that his mum never turns up to anything these days
the empty seat at his GNVQ graduation at "Congleton Community College" still haunts him to this day
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:04, Reply)
D'you think Congleton Community College is like Hollyoaks for ugly people?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:18, Reply)
yes, except shitter

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:19, Reply)
Fuck the lot of you.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:40, Reply)
they kind of have a point though, man
if i had my father's house valued, they'd chop off a bit because wilmslow is within 20 miles of mongleton..........
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:41, Reply)
I went to Congleton once, on a football away trip.
It was closed.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:47, Reply)
on the plus side if you get divorced there
you'd still be brother and sister

although i think that's equally true of where you live, to be fair.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:57, Reply)
It turns into an absolute ghost town on Sundays, I hated living there.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:06, Reply)
I don't disagree on the Congleton bit, it's more the fact that I was referred to as being shitter than Hollyoaks.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:59, Reply)
oh yeah
yeah that's a fucking zing and a half :(
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:59, Reply)
my father in law has no shame, when in a traffic jam in the South of France on the way to the alps he decided he needed a pee
as we were in the outside lane he hopped out and peed on the central reservation, unfortunately the queue started moving and he ended up running after the car peeing and flapping about.

I should mention he's from "the country"
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:03, Reply)
This is perfectly acceptable behaviour in France.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:13, Reply)
Should be grateful he got out of the car
Most frenchies would have just knealt up at the window.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:51, Reply)
My mum is the boss of an online gaming guild
that spans over multiple games. Her guild started when she played Star Wars Galaxies.

It's my fault, too. I introduced her to the original Diablo game in about 1996.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:04, Reply)
LEEROOOOOOYYYYYYYYYY JENKIIIIINNNNNNSSSSS

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:04, Reply)
In english?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:05, Reply)
low end gaming.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:07, Reply)
Kroneys mother is cooler than you.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:11, Reply)
is she dead as well?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:19, Reply)
I wish my 'rents were gammers, I'd score all kinds of cool shit.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:51, Reply)
I expect I will embarrass my daughter when she's older. Not sure how yet.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:07, Reply)
Turning up pissed to parent's evening?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:16, Reply)
and hitting on the TA, who has to politely point out that his flies are undone and he has piss on his trousers

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:23, Reply)
The amount of money her education is going to cost means I will be too poor to get pissed.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:30, Reply)
good job you've got a free house really

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:31, Reply)
As a teenager I used to hate that all my friends you to say things like your mums really hot :(
That used to embarrass me
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:07, Reply)
It was probably the menopause.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:08, Reply)
Ha ha ha

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:09, Reply)

hot fat
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:10, Reply)

f ph
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:11, Reply)
Hi double HH
I would suspect that the reason they mentioned your mum was hot is that she used to give free blow jobs behind the bike sheds at lunchtime... A (kind of) precursor to the fat northern women feeding their fat chidlren chips through a fence.

HTH
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:47, Reply)
I'm bringing back 1998, one Mo Wax record at a time.
Later on I'll be mixing Brown Paper Bag into Circles.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:08, Reply)
Terrible bullying of Gonz here

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:14, Reply)
hell, I might even drop Bambataa before I hand over to the prick in a Carhartt bodywarmer and Acupuncture trainers.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:28, Reply)
Are you kidding me?
I'm still chasing unrealistic dreams of making a living as musician.
And, as you know, I am still fond of a smoke.

It is the natural order of things that parents should be a massive embarrassment to their kids and I intend to be no different from this.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:15, Reply)
This is almost as good as 'fruit woes'
FFS
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:26, Reply)
So is your bollocking due today?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:27, Reply)
Nope, still not enough staff

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:43, Reply)
Almost

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:27, Reply)
where abouts are you based harters?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:28, Reply)
by the bins.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:29, Reply)
ABOUT

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:30, Reply)

5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post1884927
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:28, Reply)
My parents were embarrassing mainly because they were much older than my mates' parents.
My dad turning up to parents evening dressed in his de-mob suit is a typical example. I was asked if he was a gangster by my french master.
You lot don't know when you're lucky.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:28, Reply)
Do you think that's why you grew up to be a pedo?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:29, Reply)
This is one of those "When did you stop beating your wife questions".

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:31, Reply)
I am now home from Poland. I've had the turtle's head for the last ten minutes, so I'm brownloading

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:29, Reply)

5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post1884889
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:30, Reply)
Nope. Tired though. Been up since 3am UK time.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:31, Reply)
THERES BEEN A DELETION

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:37, Reply)
Are you sure someone hasn't put you on 2.0?

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:38, Reply)
Who did what, where and why?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:39, Reply)
i dunno i replied to harters post about wher he lives and by the time I'd finished typing it had been deleted

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:40, Reply)
Ohhhhhh that

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:40, Reply)
Oh yeah, he posted something about having answered your question already.
Nothing exciting then :(
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:41, Reply)
Yep

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:41, Reply)
I think he's one of Darth's lot.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:42, Reply)
he's a friend of dorothy?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:43, Reply)
thanks sherlock

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:47, Reply)
Rewatched a couple of episodes of that last night
It really is fucking excellent.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:07, Reply)
I actually don't have parents
I was sort of hatched from a pod that fell from a very rare plant that grows only on the east side of...

Oh, I can't be bothered. Alright Monts.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:37, Reply)

5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post1884945
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:40, Reply)
Just can't be arsed today Badmons
I've come into the office, but I cannot be arsed.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:44, Reply)
everyday twosie, everday
what do you do anyway?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:45, Reply)
Telecoms engineer
But a 'sit behind a desk telling what other people to do' type engineer, as opposed to the 'climbing up poles fixing wires' type.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:02, Reply)
Alright.
I was born from an egg on a mountain top, personally. It's true - ask any of my mates, Pigsy, Sandy...anyone.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:42, Reply)
"'Kill the pig! Cut his throat! Kill the pig! Bash him in!'"

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:44, Reply)
^culture

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:47, Reply)
Tripitaka?
I hardly know her!
her him
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:44, Reply)
I reckon I was born in a kinda egg when it fell off the convayor belt and ended up in the factory's "mistakes" bin.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:48, Reply)
your ma probably spent about 24 hours in screaming agony
to shove you out through her twat rather like you having an orange pulled out of your nostril or a melon out of your arse.

i don't think she would appreciate you dismissing her suffering quite so lightly. i am surprised at you.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:50, Reply)
Childbirth doesn't hurt. It's a conspiracy to make men sympathetic.
A conspiracy that doesn't work.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:52, Reply)

sym
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:53, Reply)
Fruit Woes :(

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:52, Reply)
I don't think it would be like that at all.
For one thing neither the nostril nor the arse have evolved to accomodate the expulsion of large objects such as oranges or melons.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:53, Reply)
yes, because the minge has evolved in a perfect way
that involves no screaming, no blood, no sweat, no tears, no agony, no drugs, and no women dying in childbirth.

pfffft!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:54, Reply)
You forgot the tearing and shitting

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:01, Reply)
Not in Swipe's case. I bet if someone knocked her up she'd have to walk on her hands for 9 months to stop the poor little fucker falling out.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:04, Reply)
i'd have flogged its spare parts for vodka long before then anyway

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:07, Reply)
I fail to see how this, slightly hysterical, point proves how childbirth is "rather like you having an orange pulled out of your nostril or a melon out of your arse."

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:02, Reply)
ask your wife as neither of us have done it
then come back to me
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:03, Reply)
I've witnessed it twice.
I'm sure I remember it better than she does.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:06, Reply)
Did they have a good vending machine?

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:12, Reply)
This is in direct confliction to a number of documentary films I have seen on the internet

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:55, Reply)
Well... You could be right, it normally takes me a good 20 minutes to leave the house, by the time I've found my wallet and keys'n'stuff.
And anyone who knows me knows that I'm always 30 minutes behind from wherever I'm supposed to be.... And I get dates mixed up all the time,

So yup, you're probably right about that.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:11, Reply)
my cousin's first holy communion
dad is bored and dad is loud. he is flicking through the programme.

"ETHAN," he "whispers" to my mum, oblivious of the church factor. "ETHAN. what sort of a fucking name is ETHAN?"

at which the annoyed man in front turns around and hisses, "actually that's my son." dad is unphased and he does not get embarrassment. or apologies.

"well i've never heard of it." and they eyeball one another, each clearly thinking the other stupid and ignorant.

both were correct.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:46, Reply)
What a hunt

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:47, Reply)
Was this not long after Mission Impossible came out by any chance?
That seemed to be when the name suddenly became popular.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:49, Reply)
i have no idea when MI came out
but my cousin is now 15 and they would have been 7 at the time. so he would have been named in about 1997?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:51, Reply)
Film was 1996, which fits. ..

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:54, Reply)
.... i knew he was a twat

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:54, Reply)
My brother in law wanted to call his son Ethan for that reason.
sis in law put her foot down, fortunately.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:02, Reply)
he had a lucky escape

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:06, Reply)
Names being inspired by films/songs/etc make me sad
I recently saw an 13/14 year old child called 'Tequila'.

That song was fucking awful anyway, but to name a child after it? Sad.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:09, Reply)
The correct answer was it is a name of Hebrew origin that means firm, strong and long-lived.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:50, Reply)
it's still a shit name

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:51, Reply)
Just call him Methane

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:53, Reply)
you're a total Ethan Hunt.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:54, Reply)
has the pineapple killed it yet?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:55, Reply)
Haha

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:56, Reply)
no
She came out for a cuddle earlier on.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:56, Reply)
Indubitably.
Sounds like Yank bollocks.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:55, Reply)
Like my erections

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:37, Reply)
My Dad only does comedy through the medium of deadpan and sarcasm
I hope I also get this trait. He spent 40 years as a work study engineer (time and motion stuff), and managed to be late for work just about every single day. He takes about 2 hours to do any 20 min job and is not aware of the kilospoons of irony in this.
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:47, Reply)
I am stupidly childish
And still act like I am in my late teens/ early twenties. I did however throw out a pair of baggy snowboarder type trews the other day as even by my childish standards they went a step too far
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:51, Reply)
When farts aren't funny any more you are classed as "old"

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:52, Reply)
I was holding baby Badmons the other day with my hand on her arse (I know pedo nonce etc)
And she farted so I cupped it and put it on my wife's face, me and baby Badmons then giggled and did a high fived.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:55, Reply)
holing her arse?
dear god man, someone call the NSPCC
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:55, Reply)
We also did a "fist bump" but I thought I'd leave that out due to the lolarious strikethrough potential

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:58, Reply)
so fisting and holing?
bloody west london perverts
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:59, Reply)
What's your postcode?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:00, Reply)
a kensington one...

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:02, Reply)
south WEST 7 then?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:04, Reply)
ssssssh
i'm a northerner, remember?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:11, Reply)
You really need to add that missing d asap...

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:57, Reply)
Done and done

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:57, Reply)
could you go and shut that stable door?
i think the horse is 100 miles away by now
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:58, Reply)
One of my kids can fart (and burp) on demand.
This causes much hilarity at inappropriate times.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:55, Reply)
Woah hang on there Sporters old chap
You are giving away secret facts online.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:58, Reply)
Baggy is not a good look for an adult

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:53, Reply)
it fucking is

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:54, Reply)
I sorry doze, it's just not. It makes you look sloppy and lazy
Anyway the young sk8trs are all about the skinny these days anyway
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:56, Reply)
I have massive feet.
So I have to wear baggy jeans in a vain attempt to try to disguise the huge feet.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:58, Reply)
I have size 11 and can wear slim trousers, you need to pick your shoes better
No puffy skate shoes allowed
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:59, Reply)
what size?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:59, Reply)
12

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:00, Reply)
how tall are you?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:01, Reply)
5 foot 8

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:02, Reply)
er what? How does that work?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:04, Reply)
how does what work?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:05, Reply)
how can you be so short and have such big feet?
Normally these things are proportional
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:07, Reply)

This is why I try to disguise them.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:07, Reply)
Isn't this a hobbit thing?
I've not read the geeky bollocks, but aren't they tiny with big feet?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:08, Reply)
I read The Hobbit when I was a kid.
Maybe some magic was worked or sutin.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:09, Reply)
nah
i watched the national lottery programme, but i didn't win no fucking million quid.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:10, Reply)
no, your dad bought you a flat instead.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:11, Reply)
how is that the same thing?
man works hard for 50 years to provide for his children.

girl watches programme which magically comes true.

you're shit at understanding things.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:13, Reply)
I understand perfectly well.
I was saying that you had the extreme good fortune to be given a Kensington flat. It's analogous in some ways to a lottery win.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:17, Reply)
hahahaha
you go and tell my father that. you explain to him that leaving school at 16 and working his nuts off - including nightschool 5 nights a week when his mates were all down the pub - and then working for 40 years in a bank and then continuing to work 5 days a week as a financial advisor even though he's over 70 is "analogous to a lottery win".

i'll bring the popcorn. and the bandages.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:19, Reply)
not for him, for you.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:20, Reply)
if you want to see it that way
but it's massively flawed. for a start, if i were a lazyass, he'd never have given me a penny. anyone can buy a lottery ticket, tramp or millionaire.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:24, Reply)
like this:
L
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:06, Reply)
like what?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:06, Reply)
when he stands up, he looks like this:
|______
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:10, Reply)
Keep trying!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:07, Reply)
it was fairly apparent
and not a joke that stands up to much analysis anyway
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:10, Reply)
Ahahahahaha, you're a clown

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:14, Reply)
he means a kids' size 12, i think?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:02, Reply)
3ft 9
He is essentially a weeble
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:03, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:20, Reply)
Needs more turquoise.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:24, Reply)
and pink
but heaven forbid, not SOLID pink.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:24, Reply)
He really is a twat.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:26, Reply)
well of course not solid pink.
Except for ties.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:30, Reply)
what about cufflinks?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:32, Reply)
depends on the shirt.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:33, Reply)
There is a certain level that is acceptable
these however were fucking rediculas, not helped by me being slightly bigger boned when they were bought.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:56, Reply)
are you sure it was your bones?
and not your arse and gut?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:57, Reply)
there may have been a certain level of padding around the big bones

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:58, Reply)
correct
the last people to pull that off were girls aloud in their boiler suits. 10 years ago.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:55, Reply)

What rot.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:56, Reply)
i have an idea
you post a lot about your clothes and impeccable sense of style, amirite?

so........

PICS! let the internet be your judge!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:58, Reply)
Have you not seen the Pic. Rory linked?

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:59, Reply)
I think not.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:01, Reply)
well then
expect your credibility to remain where it is.

somewhere between a hamster and a pineapple chunk.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:01, Reply)
my mother had a laugh.
The sort of laugh that in a room with 100 people in you could pin point exactly where she was. Somewhere between a cackle and a guffaw.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:59, Reply)

aw
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:00, Reply)
LOL!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:03, Reply)
and I don't use that expression lightly, as you know

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:06, Reply)
First of all I'd like to thank God, my family and the fantastic team I have around me.
Without you guys, this joke would never have been possible. I'd like to dedicate this award to you for all the hard work you put in behind the scenes.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:13, Reply)
Textbook.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:03, Reply)
textbook
*cock it*
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:03, Reply)
Toooooooo sloooooooow

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:17, Reply)
just seconds
but as your missues explained to me last night those extra few seconds really make a difference...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:23, Reply)
Well done

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:25, Reply)
thx bbz

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:25, Reply)

few sloppy
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:26, Reply)
haha!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:04, Reply)
Win !

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:06, Reply)
my mum's best friends were (and are) identical twins
they have a similar laugh (to that. identical to one another, obviously). when we were teenagers and the families were spending the day together, one of them would go off, and one of their kids would freeze and say, "urgh that one's ours..."

at least it's infectious though!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:01, Reply)
I have created a new thread.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:23, Reply)
Damn you
and i have just pulled off one of my finest "i am fucking your wife" jokes
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:24, Reply)

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