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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I just had a haircut
I've now got lots bits of hair all over my neck and no tissues left in the office to wipe them up.

When did you last get a hair cut?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:21, 235 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Week and a half ago
Weak attempt at making myself like more professional
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:22, Reply)
You've changed, man.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:28, Reply)
I'll be reverting to type after tomorrow, don't worry

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:30, Reply)
just sayin, there's a new thread up

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:36, Reply)
IS IT REALLY YOU

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:28, Reply)
Yes

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:36, Reply)
YES!

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:43, Reply)
Steady

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:43, Reply)


(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:29, Reply)
Ha
I'd forgotten about that
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:30, Reply)
I get mine cut once a year ! It's like a birthday, but for my hair !!

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:23, Reply)
September
I'll be honest, it doesn't look tidy.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:23, Reply)
2 weeks ago. I get it done every three weeks. £8. Grade 3 on top, 2 on the sides.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:23, Reply)
It's been at least 18 months
having it all chopped off in 10 days time for charidee though. Ask again then.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:24, Reply)
do us a favour, don't grow it back
time for a middle aged haircut by now eh
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:28, Reply)
Sponsor me and I'll consider it

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:31, Reply)
gaz me your personal details

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:33, Reply)

i won't post them up or anything
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:35, Reply)
Nothing could possibly go wrong here.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:35, Reply)
I cut my own hair, because I don't believe in spending money.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:24, Reply)

don't believe in spending money.

want people to think I was home schooled.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:25, Reply)
I went to private school like everyone else.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:26, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:27, Reply)
I don't see why I have to spend £8 like you did for pretty much exactly the same thing.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:28, Reply)
do you save even more money by smearing it in old bacon fat and letting a dog chew it off?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:37, Reply)
SUpermarkets are restrictiung the amount of baby milk powder you can buy because people are stocking up on it and flogging it to the chinks

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:25, Reply)
Dunno. I didn't like it, though.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:25, Reply)
I cut my hair on Saturday
I had a long, orange mohawk, now I have a short brown mohawk with a few orangy bits.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:27, Reply)
Have you used all of your tissues wiping up something else?
Speculation as to what that might be, on a postcard to the usual address.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:27, Reply)
Orange juice
mayonnaise
breadcrumbs
apple juice
spunk

The usual
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:31, Reply)
Yesterday
I am a povvo so my wife does it for me. I personally feel that letting my wife come near me with scissors proves what a brave hard nut type I am.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:27, Reply)
She also shaves my nuts with her tongue.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:29, Reply)
is she feline?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:30, Reply)
Warm pussy.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:32, Reply)
This is a vast improvement on the last thread.
At least Darth Thatch is dead.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:28, Reply)
You too?
You're practically a yuppie, I thought you'd be mourning.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:29, Reply)
Nah, mate.
Horrible divisive bitch. It was difficult to watch at the time. People with nothing, whole towns being put out of work, no planning on how to mobilise people or create work. She's the reason we have such a limited manufacturing sector.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:31, Reply)
Typical leftie hand wringing.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:32, Reply)
Rather leftie than liberal.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:36, Reply)
What?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:38, Reply)
Rather a leftie than listening to YOUR liberal hand wringing.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:40, Reply)
so you consider yourself a leftie, but not a liberal?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:45, Reply)
No. You do. Do keep up.
I consider myself somewhere near a social democrat.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:51, Reply)
Pity the voting public put her in power three times then, I guess.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:33, Reply)
I know you have a great deal of respect for the populace at large and its ability to make sound judgements.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:35, Reply)
Harsh man, harsh.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:36, Reply)
Well, yeah, that's a fair observation.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:40, Reply)
It means nothing.
The same lazy cunts that are complaining now about immigrants taking their jobs. And the dregs who got to buy their council houses.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:35, Reply)
You keep saying this like you think it's a good point.
I don't get it.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:36, Reply)
I hate agreeing with you.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:37, Reply)
I think he is going for
'They've only got themselves to blame'
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:38, Reply)
No, he's going for the "Monty said it so it must be clever and insightful so I'm going to keep repeating it"

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:38, Reply)
An equally valid gambit

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:39, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1926870
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:40, Reply)
Really? It's the first time I've said it.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:39, Reply)
Still a stupid point.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:44, Reply)
I get cut every 8-10 weeks, it really needs cutting more often but it gets a bit expensive

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:29, Reply)
How much do you pay for a hair cut?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:31, Reply)
hang on, does this mean you're not really balder than a baby twat?
has the internet lied to us AGAIN?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:32, Reply)
I dunno, what do you think?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:33, Reply)
i dunno
i'm not gonna lie, i haven't really given it any thought
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:41, Reply)
Too much, but the cheap places are shit I find.
I have special hair you see
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:35, Reply)
what kind of cut do you have?
I always picture you lookign a bit like Davey Cameron.

ETA: in his Bullingdon days I mean, not now.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:39, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:41, Reply)
short round the sides, longer on top sort of sideways, it's a bit hipster at the moment

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:41, Reply)
I have trouble picturing this, do you have a pic of someone with something similar?
ETA: I'm picturing this: www.denimology.com/2012/04/Joefresh-08-thumb-466x587-90120.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:42, Reply)
errr, lemme see
source-hardware.info/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/hipster-hair.jpg

kinda like this I guess
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:44, Reply)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAA

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:45, Reply)
yeah well, your face is shit anf stupid

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:46, Reply)
shut up mr achingly 2 kl 4 skl

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:48, Reply)
you fucking twat

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:47, Reply)
If I could grow a jew fro like I would

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:49, Reply)
Not too bad TBH.
looks like a short back and sides to me, a perfectly grown up haircut.

well done.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:48, Reply)
Mine's not as "extreme" as that, it blends in more

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:49, Reply)
perfectly good haircut and prolly what I'd have if I was being sensible.
just because hipsters have taken it up is no reason to avoid it. I didn't give up cycling and monty certainly hasn't given up his jeggings.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:51, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1926792
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:51, Reply)
can't see that soz

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:55, Reply)
back when Thatcher was still alive

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:30, Reply)
she's dead now btw

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:30, Reply)
lol

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:30, Reply)
woah check 'em

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:30, Reply)
you could write a story about it

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:31, Reply)
put it on the telly and everything

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:32, Reply)
knock knock

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:44, Reply)
who's there?

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:44, Reply)
not Margaret Thatcher, she's dead

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:44, Reply)
about 3 years I reckon.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:31, Reply)
i have to trim my pubes like once a week

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:31, Reply)
What does once a week look like?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:33, Reply)
Fursday

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:35, Reply)
about a month ago
had it cut from shoulder blade level to kind of collar bone level
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:32, Reply)
near the chins
*chinesephonebooklols*
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:34, Reply)
oh man
the zing, the zing
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:38, Reply)
It's still ginger. No matter what you do with it.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:34, Reply)
is it a natural perm too?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:37, Reply)
like a rusty brillo pad
now you two go bum each other to death, you sickening bullies
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:39, Reply)
You got so many lovely comments from TRL

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:37, Reply)
only when it was longer
he clearly doesn't go for the shorter look
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:38, Reply)
You must be so sad.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:39, Reply)
just now, i got my healthcheck results back from the blood and other tests i had on fri
and i'm in great shape. so nah, i'm surviving
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:40, Reply)
Were you worried someone had pumped your anus full of AIDSpunk?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:47, Reply)
who isn't?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:50, Reply)

i ha
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:06, Reply)
are you really that desperate for attention that you've got his for a 'friend'? Oh internet

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:39, Reply)
his what??

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:40, Reply)
call the typo police, I'm done for

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:41, Reply)
I baldified myself only yesterday
It's been at least 15 years since I've been to a barber.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:33, Reply)
My hair is fucking brilliant cheers

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:34, Reply)
i would say your hair is extravagant

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:38, Reply)
Not so much any more
Middle age found me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:43, Reply)
I cut it myself about once every 10 days
when you shave it there really is no point paying someone to do it.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:34, Reply)
last tuesday
apparently I asked for the lesbian hitler
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:35, Reply)
COR!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:36, Reply)
Who wouldn't want a lesbian nazi in their life if they could?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:37, Reply)
That must be close to my favoured
"Justin bieber before he lost his mind" look
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:42, Reply)
I’m sorry for laughing.
But I read this as an admission of having a neck beard.

I have my hair cut every other week, but will never use just for men or simular products
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:37, Reply)
Just how quickly does your hair grow?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:38, Reply)
It's not about the speed it's about keeping it maintained

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:44, Reply)
Nothing wrong with going grey.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:40, Reply)
Colouring ones hair is one thing
But I will not stand idly by and let a man wear a wig. They look ridiculous and they point out one of the more terrible personality traits; vanity.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:42, Reply)
I worked with a guy that had three wigs.
One "frsh cut", one "bit growth" and one "need a hair cut". It wasn't a good look.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:45, Reply)
There's an old paddy who drinks in my local everyday. Only wears his wig on Sundays.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:48, Reply)
Ah, that's terrible

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:48, Reply)
but what if you have syphilis?
and therefore require a merkin to get anyone to shag you (in poland)?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:49, Reply)
I find it all rather insulting.
I want to go up to them and ask them "Do you think I'm fucking stupid or something? Just who do you think you are fooling with that ridiculous thing?"
My wife won't let me though :(
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:54, Reply)
They can put a remote controlled car on Mars
but they can't make a decent looking hairpiece.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:57, Reply)
And yes, I'm aware that NASA don't normally concern themselves with wigs
BUT MAYBE THEY SHOULD!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:57, Reply)
Vidal Sassoon is already working on his own version of the Mars Rover
They really don't want to get left behind here.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:59, Reply)
I don't blame them
Their space program has made some real leaps and bounds over the last 10 years. It'd be a shame to let it all go to waste.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:05, Reply)
they probably can
but you just don't notice them.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:59, Reply)
Hey, good point

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:00, Reply)
50 shades of lol

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:45, Reply)
It looks distinguished on the right gentleman
But being half grey as a woman looks a bit grim
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:55, Reply)
Friday!
I keep getting progressively shorter, soon enough I'll look like the fucking moon.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:43, Reply)
Hello Battered

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:44, Reply)
He's taller than me, just, though

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:50, Reply)
I always pictured the moon being quite tall

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:44, Reply)
ANDREW MIDGETS!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:45, Reply)
The moon is spherical
I'm almost as wide as I am tall
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:49, Reply)
Hello stranger
how are you?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:46, Reply)
Not too bad!
I'm trying to motivate myself to go to the supermarket. Crow is currently in Reading setting things on fire. How's the bab?
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:50, Reply)
It's doing alright.
Managed to shit right up it's own back yesterday and then it puked as I was changin it and the puke ran rounds it neck, into it's ear and down it's back and made a nice puddle of puking shit on the changing mat.

Kids are fucking great.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:54, Reply)
It's things like this that make me glad my biological clock only ticks for cats.
I'll be a proud catmother one day.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:58, Reply)
catshit is a lot worse smelling than babyshit, though.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:59, Reply)
yeah, but you can't train babys to shit in other people's gardens.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:01, Reply)
Who can't?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:02, Reply)
wanna bet?

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:02, Reply)
And cats won't eventually learn to use a toilet.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:02, Reply)
And cats won't pay for your care home in later life.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:03, Reply)
And cats don't smile when you see them first thing in the morning and reach out for a cuddle

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:05, Reply)
That's actually quite heartwarming.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:06, Reply)
It totally makes up for the vomity feaces incidents

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:09, Reply)
My son is going to be either a stand up comedian or a scientist
I'm expecting to have to pay for my own dotage.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:07, Reply)
Cats can and have been taught to do this.
Babies have yet to be taught to bury their shit in the garden.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:06, Reply)
I don't really want my kids burying their shit in the garden.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:09, Reply)
What kind of hippy are you man?

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:10, Reply)
As of Saturday night
I am now safely within the age/2+7 range.

Just to update you as you seemed so interested last time we spoke.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:52, Reply)
Congratulations on leaving the Paedozone.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:53, Reply)
fanks

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:54, Reply)
So wait, is this a new one, or is she aging faster than you?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:57, Reply)
nono, same one.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:57, Reply)
as you both get older
you're more likely to not be caught out by the /2 +7 shit.

what with 7 being an ever-decreasing fraction of your age.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:01, Reply)
Ah, I see how that makes sense.
After all, by the time we met Crow and I were ok'd by the rule, but I still occasionally make him feel a bit sick by reminding him I was in Primary school during his A Levels.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:08, Reply)
HAHA!
Brilliant.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:10, Reply)
I get a lot of that.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:11, Reply)
Alright Lamps

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:52, Reply)
Aight bbz
hope all's well!
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:53, Reply)
Not too bad ta.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:56, Reply)
Every few weeks.
I have clippers at home and shave it off like a thug.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:46, Reply)
I still tip my barbar a quid, does anyone else do that?

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:47, Reply)
Naa, the fuckers charge enough as it is

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:48, Reply)
i do like having you back

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:49, Reply)
This is a special offer.
Must end soon.

Not joking though, my haircuts are expensive.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:50, Reply)
Why do you do that?
Because a tenner for running a pair of clippers around your ears isn't enough?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:51, Reply)
Just 'cus i've always done it, he normally spends a good 30 minutes on it or soo.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:53, Reply)
I tip mine although it's expensive
Because I like my hairdresser, he does a good job, and I want to keep going back so I don't want to seem stingy and get a subpar haircut. Not that that would definitely happen. But just in case.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:52, Reply)
What's an elephant going to do with a quid though?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:56, Reply)
I still tip my barbar a quid, does anyone else do that?

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:47, Reply)
Yeah, otherwise I don't get great seats

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:48, Reply)
But seriously yes I do
I think it's the done thing if you go a proper barber that charges £9 for a haircut.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:49, Reply)
I'm reading this as "I'm too embarrassed to wait for my £1 change"

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:51, Reply)
I'm jsut worried that if I stop now
they'll cut me the next time.

Plus, it's a quid, I'm fucking loaded, I don't care about a quid.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:52, Reply)
To ensure he never forgets you?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:50, Reply)
subtle...

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:32, Reply)
Someone on the street outside keeps whistling in that quick rising "look over here" tone.
It's getting irritating now.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:48, Reply)
Kick his wing mirrors off.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:49, Reply)

wing mirrors lips
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:50, Reply)

wing mirrors back
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:52, Reply)
Fucks sakes
A colleague just IM'd me to ask if I suffer from hayfever. Quick as a flash I replied "No - only GAYfever!"

I'm even trolling myself now
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:50, Reply)

trolling myself telling the truth
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:52, Reply)
hahahahathatcher'sdead

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:52, Reply)
I'm looking forward to the victory parade for whoever found all the Horcruxes

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:59, Reply)
Nothing will ever beat Amberl's "positive" comment
if anyone remembers that
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:52, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1187842#post1187852
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:56, Reply)
Hahahahaha
Quality
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:58, Reply)
Also

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:03, Reply)


(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:04, Reply)
Aw, the good old days when you guys were still facebook friends...

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:14, Reply)
Nobody's facebook friends with Al any more.
Mostly because he's a cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:17, Reply)
I wouldn't trust him as fr as I could throw him, which lets be honest ent gonna be far

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:18, Reply)
Yeah, don't forget that nobody's facebook friends with you either.
probably for much the same reason.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:20, Reply)
I'm invisible on facebook
Can't be having internet wierdos clicking through every aspect of my life
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:21, Reply)
You should DYAAKY

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:21, Reply)
To what do i owe this vitriol, when I am NOTHING but lovely to you?!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:24, Reply)
I'm only saying
it's the only way to make sure no internet spastics find you.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:27, Reply)
I'm still best budz 4 lyfe with Al.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:24, Reply)
darw cocks all over his profile pic and post it here

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:25, Reply)
Me too.
It helps that my face is already covered in purple cocks though.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:25, Reply)
Oh wow I'd forgotten about that

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:59, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:55, Reply)
Gonz at work.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:06, Reply)
It looks like Lembit Opek's love child.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:16, Reply)
Two weeks back

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:52, Reply)
How often do you shave?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 15:56, Reply)
At least once a week

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:14, Reply)
These golden wonder rough cuts are ready salted not cheese and onion
:(
(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:00, Reply)
It's Thatchers fault.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:00, Reply)
a single hair?

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:05, Reply)
NO! DEAD THATCHAIR!!!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:07, Reply)
You stupid fucking cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:08, Reply)
Did you use all your tissues up on a sly officewank?
my last haircut was about five or six months ago. I need another one, really. I'm starting to look a bit like Monty.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:13, Reply)
Gorgeous George has angered the mail with his tweet about Thatcher.
"tramp the dirt down"
(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:15, Reply)
That's hardly as offensive as this:
Thinking of our 1st Lady of girl power ,Margaret Thatcher ,a green grocer's daughter who taught me any thing is possible...x
— Geri Halliwell (@GeriHalliwell) April 8, 2013
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:17, Reply)
There's apparently a campaign to get Ding Dong the Witch is dead to number one.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:18, Reply)
This is quite an extrodinary article.
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2305760/Margaret-Thatcher-dead-George-Galloway-leads-chorus-celebration-left.html
(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:21, Reply)
It's quite amusing

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:30, Reply)
All I know is this
I'd rather fuck Geri Halliwell than George Galloway.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:21, Reply)
two hats the voice of reason in these bewildering times

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:24, Reply)
Hey
It's what I do.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:26, Reply)
I think even I would.
And that's something, coming from a confirmed hetero gerontophile.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:28, Reply)
And a scot

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:29, Reply)
This amused me
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2305358/Vodafone-Kevin-Waldrum-runs-91-184-phone-calling-daytime-chat-line-alleviate-loneliness.html?ICO=most_read_module
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:28, Reply)
yeah welcome to this morning

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:31, Reply)
Fuck off, you didn't link that this morning.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:32, Reply)
someone did
this is a classic example of poor people "being shit", it proves my point rather well i think.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 16:34, Reply)

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