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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Has everyone been shot?
FFS its Friday, people. Get posting now. Tell me about your weekend plans
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:28, 152 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Stag do, i'm going coasterring.
Which seems to involve getting wet.
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:28, Reply)
It's going to be in Sandbanks.
I'm kinda a big deal.
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:36, Reply)
Why are you a big deal?
Do you mean just in Sandbanks or in the whole coasteering community?
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:43, Reply)
I dunno, apparently sandbanks is well posh
I'd never heard of it until this got arranged.
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:48, Reply)
WTF is coasterring?

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:43, Reply)
jumping off cliffs into the sea.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:46, Reply)
Like rock climbing on cliffs then jumping into the sea or some shit.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:46, Reply)
I did it on a school trip once.
It's quite good fun, but doesn't strike me as a stag do activity.
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:48, Reply)
We're also doing a brewery tour.
I'm going to bore the shit out of everyone with HOMEBREW CHAT
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:54, Reply)
I'd like to tour more* breweries.
Which one is it down there? Ringwood?

*More than the 'none' that I currently visit.
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:56, Reply)
Yeah, it's the ringwood one.
www.ringwoodbrewery.co.uk/tours/
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:00, Reply)
overtime, playing records in public, studying
Then next week off.

You?
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:30, Reply)
Out in the garden tomorrow I think then fuck knows on Sunday

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:42, Reply)
I really doubt these suspects are Al Qaeda
"One Watertown resident, Kristian Tunzig, tells BBC News he heard successive gunshots close to his house earlier and then saw a black Mercedes sedan crash in front of the house. There was a 10 to 15 minute gunbattle and several explosion - before a huge explosion"

AQ don't go in for this kind of thing. They're more the martyrdom sort. My money's on homegrown terrorism.
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:31, Reply)
Going to a musical tomorrow, shopping this evening

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:31, Reply)
haha, "musical"
why don't you just wear a dress while you're at it
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:33, Reply)
The girl I'm going with will be doing that.
Seemed excessive to chuck one on myself. Don't want to steal her thunder.
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:34, Reply)
haha, defensive, that's ok, no one thinks you're gay, just relax ok

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:36, Reply)
+your sphincter

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 12:19, Reply)
If watching 24 taught me anything. It's that any black mercedes sedan is involved in terror.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:32, Reply)
I am, of course, assuming the two things are connected
since that's what the police are saying.
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:33, Reply)
they're saying its a SUV not a sedan
GOD GET IT RIGHT
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:36, Reply)
I just pulled it off the BBC live feed
Soz, I didn't mean to let you down :(
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:37, Reply)
also it appears they wer lobbing explosive materials out at the rozzers and one blew himself up. ITS MORE LIKE FOUR LIONS EVERY MINUTE

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:39, Reply)
Any minute, Val Kilmer wearing the world's most ill-advised ponytail
is going to be fire-teaming it up the road with another unknown actor and a pair of M15s, you mark my words.
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:41, Reply)
*crosses fingers*

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:43, Reply)
dodgy ponytail or layers of blubber or not, he'll always be the iceman to me

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:45, Reply)
My mate looks like Val Kilmer

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:46, Reply)
fat val?

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:48, Reply)
Yes

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:01, Reply)
Really?
Ooops
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:44, Reply)
Some thing about three lions on your street

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:45, Reply)
I agree.
I don't know that much about AQ, but I didn't think that the marathon bomb seemed like their style. I thought it might be right wing white nutters, but yeah, homegrown terrorists seems much more likely.
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:35, Reply)
Reminded me of the old IRA bombings.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:39, Reply)
yeah, like I said, didn't seem to be AQ's style.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:45, Reply)
they do look very foreign though

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:39, Reply)
Not according to Wilf
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1938506
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:43, Reply)
Roger Moore was the best Bond, Moonraker is the best Bond film, Clooney was the best Batman
/ac
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:45, Reply)
Like I give a flying fuck

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:49, Reply)
I might wank into a crisp packet

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:31, Reply)
What flavour?

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:32, Reply)
well I've been eating a lot of pineapple lately

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:33, Reply)
SEXY flavour

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:43, Reply)
I have no major weekend palns :(
Got the lads round tonight for poker for a few hours. Tonights food theme is mexican
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:33, Reply)
shit in a taco

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:00, Reply)
Excellent idea

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:03, Reply)
we had chili tacos on monday
to be honest I ain't sold on them hard shell ones, seem a bit of a faff
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:05, Reply)
Bit to messy for my liking

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:06, Reply)
yeh you're right, fuck the mexicans, they're a nation that can be wiped off the face of the planet with nothing lost
good point man
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:09, Reply)
But the Americans need them for gardening and casual racism

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:30, Reply)
Hard shell tacos are a messy lap in waiting

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:09, Reply)
Out for birthday drinks with a mate tonight.
Mrs tangle is down in that London tomorrow, visiting a friend, so I shall probably do stuff that she wouldn't approve of.
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:36, Reply)
just say the kids were climbing over some railings if you get carried away and leave em in a bit of a mess

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:38, Reply)
Thanks for the tip m8

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:39, Reply)
if there's one thing I've learnt from offtopic it's that your wifes dopey

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:43, Reply)
She'll believe any old shit.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:44, Reply)
Just remember the story
You were only having a bite to eat in a café down the road and thought the kids would be safe asleep. I mean who would break into their room and take one
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:48, Reply)
You doing anything for record store day?
And did you like that Dilated Peoples stuff? You might also like Black Star.
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:38, Reply)
haha, christ

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:40, Reply)
oh wait, you weren't being serious, that's ok then

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:40, Reply)
Probably not, on account of there not being any record stores round here.
I buy records from independent shops all year round anyway, so I don't really see the point in going out of my way to buy some overpriced single released just for RSD.
Dilated Peoples were alright.
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:42, Reply)
yer

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:46, Reply)
The Joy of In Laws visiting
the new house...
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:47, Reply)
IT'S A BUSY DAY well not really, it's been a bit busy and will be in a few hours, but now I can chill
How do?

This weekend I ain't got much planned. Erm. Yeah actually I don't have anything planned.
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:47, Reply)
typical lazy bogtrotter

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:48, Reply)
I've only been in a bog once and I almost lost a boot
IMAGINE THAT
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:48, Reply)
Like you can talk surrender monkey

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:49, Reply)
I will be doing Tangers wife.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:49, Reply)
Textbook.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:50, Reply)
Make sure your spunk is vegan by drinking a quorn shake several hours before engaging in intercourse

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:50, Reply)
She comes to London to get some proper meat.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:52, Reply)
Do you pob a chipolata out of your fly just in case she gets carried away and starts munching down in the heat of things?

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:53, Reply)
I smack her about if she gets out of hand.
She loves that.
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:54, Reply)
Filthy cow
Sorry, filthy non-fat skinny quorn based beef imitation product
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:56, Reply)
She did say she was staying with a gay friend.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:53, Reply)
Hahaha.
Non-threatening gay friend.
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:55, Reply)
Ohh and look what's openend near me.
www.percys-delivered.co.uk/menu.php
Pulled pork delivered!
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:51, Reply)
'Percys Slaw' sounds like it'll be startlingly glutinous and brimming with HIV positive manmuck

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:52, Reply)
You jelly bro?

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:56, Reply)
No it's mainly fat

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:57, Reply)
Lots of Xbox and beer time tonight and tomorrow
This is because I'm my own man and can do what I want and the missus is away
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:51, Reply)
*missus away fives*

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:52, Reply)
Pint?
Dev?
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:54, Reply)
Do they allow kids in?

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:57, Reply)
Slap enough eyeliner on them and they'll be welcome with open, flabby, heavily tattooed arms

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:59, Reply)
Night out for friend's birthdays, that's about it, really.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:53, Reply)
On the upside
Undersecretary for Homeland Security Kurt Schwartz asks people in Watertown and surrounding suburbs not go to work today.
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:53, Reply)
Several hundred miles away people are wondering if they can risk it.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:57, Reply)
That man's name sounds like it was assigned to him
by a Generic Tough-Sounding American Names Generator. Or Hollywood in the 80s.
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:58, Reply)
"Meet the newest member of our security team, Blast ThickNeck"

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:06, Reply)
lols all round

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:09, Reply)
Apparently they've shut down the public transport network.
A joke's a joke, lads. Be sensible, there's only one of them left and he's not actually Val Kilmer with a pony tail. He's just some guy and the entire police force will have had a go at shooting him by now.
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:14, Reply)
They only think it's one bloke.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:25, Reply)
Fuck, Harvard has decided to close for the day as well

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:31, Reply)
This made me sad
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2311248/Sala-Barhoum-track-star-teenager-denies-involvement-Boston-Marathon-bombing-picture-widely-circulated.html#ixzz2QtykVSr5%20
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:31, Reply)
He has a weird face.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:34, Reply)
Should have stayed in El Jadida.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:35, Reply)
I lost my wallet there once

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:36, Reply)
Worst Tony Bennett song ever

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:38, Reply)
*looks at the end of a pool stick*

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:52, Reply)
That was 4chan's fault.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:51, Reply)
i'll be at work sporto,
worky worky worky work.

I don't want to go in to work. Please burn down my pub. Thanks.
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:44, Reply)
Poor Windy

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:46, Reply)
i might go an get a pizza.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:47, Reply)
:(
I hope you're not leading up to my make my own pizza thing again?
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:51, Reply)
I also like the Asda make your own pizzas
If you chat to them whilst they are making them you always get more toppings
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:52, Reply)
If you fellate supermarket employees you get free shit.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:53, Reply)
Fuck, I just did that for fun I didn't realise I could get free stuff

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:54, Reply)
If you get free shit while fellating someone, then...ermm..... well, if you're up for that, txt me bbz.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:58, Reply)
What have you got to give?

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:59, Reply)
I can't do that coke-under-the-foreskin thing, but you can get two very short lines if I'm standing upright.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 12:03, Reply)
\o/
JUST IN
1148: News agency Associated Press is reporting that the Boston bomb suspects are from a Russian region near Chechnya
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:53, Reply)
thanks mr. half an hour ago

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:56, Reply)
:(
You horrid bully
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:57, Reply)
The floors are always filthy in ASDA and there's kids shrieking everywhere, rolling on the floor, rotating as they shout
God I hate ASDA
I hate it so much
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:53, Reply)
oh man
i ended up at the ex's last night, 1am it seemed like a good idea to get a lovely pizza with fresh chilli and garlic/herb mayo dip.

it arrived.

i am being good. couldn't eat any. fucking torture, watching him scarf the lot. meh!

and the new bloke wants to go for pizza at the weekend. fucking pizza-related torture.
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:52, Reply)
This weekend you'll have special sauce all over your face.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:54, Reply)
that is for amateurs

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:54, Reply)
And you are an old pro.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:55, Reply)
What's his username?

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:55, Reply)
who, stunned?

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:57, Reply)
no, i'm implying that you've been preying on qotwers again
hahah i an very funny haha
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:59, Reply)
ah, the "i will explain my joke and tell you that it's very funny and i'm very funny" gambit?

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 12:02, Reply)
yeah yeah YEAH, you've been there and done that SPARE ME YOUR LIFE STORY

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 12:03, Reply)
The Psychochomp Method.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 12:09, Reply)
bore everyone into submission and delude yourself that you're better at stand-up than piston, you mean?

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 12:10, Reply)
Well, I've heard that his other methods are amateurish, verging on the virginal.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 12:12, Reply)
Poor Swipey
good news is Vodka is not fattening
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:55, Reply)
are you telling me your ex boyfriend ordered a pizza and you didn't eat it?

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:57, Reply)
yep, pretty much
he ate the entire extra large thing by himself, it was pretty impressive for a guy with a fucking 28 inch waist
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:59, Reply)
i still don't understand why you didn't have any.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 12:00, Reply)
because i'm only allowed water and cup-a-soups until 30 april
my collar bones are looking good, but i want to see hipbones
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 12:03, Reply)
have you been on the battered workshop on shoehorning in information?

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 12:01, Reply)
28 inch WAIST
not cock
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 12:02, Reply)
No problem

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:47, Reply)
I'll be at work too WP
IN FACT this afternoon I have to have a stupid social media conference video call with the US office and it'll mean I get out of here late and I don't wanna WP I don't wanna
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:52, Reply)
you know,
i need to write my covering letter for a couple of jobs, but i can't find the motivation today.
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:58, Reply)
I think you should do the wrestling thing you linked to earlier.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 12:04, Reply)
where is frisbee? do we think he wrote this?
ncwtv.com/nn/law-student-tells-burger-king-exactly-how-much-he-hated-working-there-2026/
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:46, Reply)
Bit OTT for burger king

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:57, Reply)
If he writes a letter like that he has a limited chance of success at law school.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 11:58, Reply)
I was going to go to law school, until I found out my parents were married

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 12:00, Reply)
Blimey, is this thread still limping along?

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 12:04, Reply)
It's looking a bit Battered, yes.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 12:05, Reply)
BETHANYS ONLY JUST GOT HERE

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 12:06, Reply)
no real names please

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 12:07, Reply)
everybody knows everybody elses name
it's a secret
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 12:08, Reply)
Cheers







Cheers
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 12:09, Reply)
*lolarious picture of Ray Mears*

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 12:14, Reply)
I get the feeling she's been avoiding us lately.

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 12:09, Reply)
she must have gone back to knocking out afternoon tricks to oaps down by the pier

(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 12:13, Reply)
Going to a tournament, playing about 8 hours of ultimate.
May have some lols for the duration. Start of the summer innit
(, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 12:27, Reply)

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