University (of life)
Did you go to Uni? Were you the typical stoner with a Bob Marley poster and shite dreads? Did you decide to get a job instead?

www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-24032600

It turns out the North is actually good for something, whippet fucking apart
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:44, 138 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

?
whippet good
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:45, Reply)

WHIPPET HARDER

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:57, Reply)

I went to Leeds
Had my first mary-joanna cigarette there. That was probably where it all started to go wrong.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:46, Reply)

I'm guessing this is the link saying it had better nightlife?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:46, Reply)

It was indeed

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:49, Reply)

I didnt go to university and ive never been a stoner and all i know about bob marley is how he likes his donuts

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:46, Reply)

And how does he like his doughnuts, Reg?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:47, Reply)

Frosted with sugar.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:48, Reply)

I dunno, in a fucken 'spliff' for all i know
why?
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:49, Reply)

You brought it up don't get funny about it

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:50, Reply)

Soz m8, the stoner years haven't been kind to me

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:51, Reply)

I went to the university of life, mate.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:46, Reply)

And then dropped out

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:47, Reply)

Did your parents have any children that lived?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:47, Reply)

No they all died

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:49, Reply)

If I had children born in Coventry I would ....

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:49, Reply)

GO COVENTRY!!!
www.theguardian.com/education/2013/sep/10/harvard-cambridge-world-university-rankings
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:46, Reply)

Fucking hell. Iffy pint of real ale last night.
My arse is quacking like a duck on the game.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:47, Reply)

Is it echoing?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:51, Reply)

I didn't go to Uni. I went to college and wasted a couple of years doing an HND which has never had anything to do with my actual career.
Then I got a job.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:51, Reply)

Which stations does the Javelin go between?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:53, Reply)

It goes from my station at home to London.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:54, Reply)

Do you go to Stratford?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:01, Reply)

It stops there, but I get off at St Pancras.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:02, Reply)

Chz.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:03, Reply)

Why? Is this grooming? Should I tell a parent?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:04, Reply)

nah
he's your daddy now
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:11, Reply)

Good, I needed a new one.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:12, Reply)

Out of interest I looked at some houses and I like what I see.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:21, Reply)

Where abouts?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:25, Reply)

Sandgate.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:32, Reply)

Road.
On the sea basically.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:33, Reply)

so a pier then?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:38, Reply)

Sandgate is really nice.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 12:09, Reply)

ooh are you going to buy him a flat like a good daddy?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:33, Reply)

Shut it hopalong.
Or I'll come over there and make you my "injured special project".
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:34, Reply)

i can't hop
because i've fucked both knees. i'm like some kind of special goat.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:38, Reply)

Or cow.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:41, Reply)

Cockfosters and Kuntish Town

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:56, Reply)

If you get on at Biffin Bridge it just goes into a tunnel, then think it comes out near the Billy Mill roundabout.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:58, Reply)

haha

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:59, Reply)

Scottish universities FTW!
I was a sad internet shut in, back in the days before we had internet.

Shocker, huh?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:53, Reply)

Nope.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:54, Reply)

I wonder if this was CHOMPYS big news story?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-24035559
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:53, Reply)

I would guess: no

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:55, Reply)

No, because DoH releases stuff like this at lunchtime to miss the papers and slow the demand on NHS services.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:57, Reply)

That sounds like the sort of shit a feckless cunt would say

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:04, Reply)

Sadly I can't claim credit for this.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:08, Reply)

Yeah I went to 'university'. It was an ex poly and all I deserved.
I was well turned out to look at, because I'd spent the previous year dealing and developed an expensive clothing habit, but I spent my entire degree completely out of my mind on drugs. My 2:2 is a shining testament to my prodigious intellect, lesser mortals would have gone mad/been thrown out/dropped out/failed to gain a qualification. It's a better mark than I deserved and I'm more than happy with it.

That said had I not bothered and gone to work instead I might have been more successful in life - but at that age there was no fucking way I was going to do anything other than get high all day.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:57, Reply)

tggi ^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:59, Reply)

That is really pathetic eh

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 10:59, Reply)

I did similar
except I spent a good deal of the time at least semi-pissed.

Great times though. Shame these days you have to debt yourself up to the eyeballs to go.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:03, Reply)

You're happy with your lot Mince, that's good to see

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:01, Reply)

Yeah I had such a good time, I wouldn't change it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:03, Reply)

i fucked up my oxford interview and went to london instead
wish very very much that i'd taken a year out to work and had another crack at oxford, or gone to bristol/nottingham/anywhere that wasn't london. it's an amazing city, but as a student you can't afford to do anything, and all your friends live miles away, or are foreign exchange students who are only here for a term.

english degree was a means to an end, law conversion much more useful.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:01, Reply)

Yes I did
and I am lucky enough to be in a job that uses my degree.
( Peej, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:01, Reply)

You have a degree in Cornish standup?
YOU FUCKING JETHRO.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:03, Reply)

Pastie making 101
first lesson: the importance of carrot
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:05, Reply)

I went to University in London
and did a Bachelor of Science in Technology. Why I returned to Cornwall I will never know. Probably sick of all the carrots.
( Peej, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:05, Reply)

*university time not pissed away fives*

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:04, Reply)

^ renter

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:05, Reply)

I did very little drinking at University
I spent my student loan on a Fender Stratocaster in my first year.
( Peej, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:06, Reply)

^ benter

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:07, Reply)

Alright Del?

( Peej, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:08, Reply)

I may have to beat you to death with your own shoes in a minute.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:09, Reply)

I contracted glandular fever which gave my liver an alarming amount of fucking, resulting in me not being able to drink for 18 months of my course.
The second 18 months I was effectively working shifts full time whilst doing a full time degree level course. Fuck only knows how I managed that.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:08, Reply)

Yeah that's what you told everyone.
'Yah actually guys I can usually drink like twenny pints yah? But the reason I've pooed myself and started crying after two halves of Fosters is actually because like I've got like a rahlly major medical complaint OK?'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:11, Reply)

I don't know why I've decided you speak like Nakers.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:11, Reply)

needs moar dribble and spaz
for both of them
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:14, Reply)

That's the most offensive part of it.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:33, Reply)

you have some nice colleagues working in london
they were very good to me last night. the first person to arrive was a paramedic on a bike - never seen that before. she had blood pressure monitors and everything.

it won't make me rethink my stance on bikes though. cyclist cunts.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:09, Reply)

Everybody on the count of three.... one, two three... "What happened?".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:15, Reply)

The server spazzed out for a couple of minutes I think, twice.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:19, Reply)

i had a nasty fall and knocked myself out, then kept passing out
rory then stole my thunder, like a copper pipe on a building site
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:32, Reply)

We have quite a few of them in the city centre on a weekend easier and faster for them to get around

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:17, Reply)

Nah, I got booted out of school age 17
I went and got drunk for 2 years in the Alps then got a major lucky break from a temping job. The rest is history.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:02, Reply)

You discovered your love for dildos and took it from there?

( wanderlust, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:07, Reply)

My lucky break from a temping job was some time on a lathe
I made some...things...
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:11, Reply)

dildos?

( wanderlust, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:12, Reply)

Sure did!
They don't compare to anything we have now though. How can I compete with a Butt Bong?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:16, Reply)

I don't know what that is and I'm not going to google it.

( wanderlust, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:20, Reply)

That's just plain odd
trying to drink beer through your arse?

Americans *shakes head*
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:25, Reply)

My uncle invented two-tone skate wheels.
I feel if I hook him up with your dildo experiance.... there's a profit to be had somewhere.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:31, Reply)

Woah, I had two tone Mini Krips on my Bauers

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:36, Reply)

Not done you any harm has it?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:08, Reply)

Fuck no!
I wish I could of told myself at 20 though.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:11, Reply)

So this is what Chompy was on about.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-24016988
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:12, Reply)

Fucking hell, Battered's must make him look like some kind of hideous Siamese triplet.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:34, Reply)

I was shit at school, always was going to be, so was encouridge to get on with work.
Even at school I worked in my Dad's shop. Best education that.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:13, Reply)

I'm guessing your father wasn't in the catering business.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:15, Reply)

Nah', retail, had a bunch of skating/hockey related shops.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:21, Reply)

skating/hockey related shops Pawn brokers
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:21, Reply)

Oi Vey
Picks pocket or two
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:23, Reply)

I'm a yid, we've _all_ got some kind of money lending in our blood if you go back far enough.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:23, Reply)

TITJ

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:30, Reply)

TWTJ.... mong.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:32, Reply)

YATJ

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:34, Reply)

Did you have the Steak Rossini?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:43, Reply)

If you mean from last night?
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2081592
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:50, Reply)

Nah', my health ain't been good and I ended up deciding that i'd rather save going there until I can really enjoy it.
The thought of going was great, get to see some family, but in the end if i'm gonna spend that dosh on a meal, i'd rather wait until I can enjoy it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 12:05, Reply)

Fair enough.
£50 for stomach ache does seem a bit silly.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 12:13, Reply)

I Like TIT

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:36, Reply)

was was constantly doing a
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:16, Reply)

I went to University in Aberdeen.
Spent most of it pissed but knuckled down for the last month or so and undeservedly got a 2:1.

Didn't try smack either.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:27, Reply)

Are you that bloke I meet up in aberdeen? There was a guy who I recall having a similar name to you but I was rather drunk.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:30, Reply)

What about deep fried smack?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:37, Reply)

I had some of that once, it was legendarny

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:58, Reply)

6th form for me
This was also the time when I came out so also discovered clubbing and hard drugs.
Managed to keep this up for a year and a half before dropping out.
Got myself a job in a Solicitors, they were going to put me on a para legal course, dropped out of that to pursue DJ work.

Seems I made a few silly life choices, but fuck it. I had fun doing them and haven't turned out too bad

NO REGRETS :)
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:37, Reply)

Good stuff

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:40, Reply)

Is a paralegal a lawyer with special needs?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 12:02, Reply)

It's one of them soldiers that sues first and asks questions later

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 12:04, Reply)

I went to Watford once.
It was bloody awful.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:39, Reply)

I've been to Watford Gap services
it was pretty standard services. it was prolly before the dyson airblade was invented so it couldn't have been too great
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:42, Reply)

I've been to paradise but I've never been to me

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:42, Reply)

No, and I could've done
It was free back then. Oh well.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 11:40, Reply)