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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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News thread time.
Well, not 'new's so much as 'filler':
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-24124794?ocid=socialflow_facebook_newsmagazineSo, I think we're relatively evenly split between parents and not. Have you ever given / taken advice on parenting? Was it shit?
Alt: Fuck off back to mumsnet with your vacuum fanny
AltAlt: Exactly how bent
is Nakers?
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:13,
118 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
Jesus, these are both horrendous.
Have you seen that patchwork one in the new DFS advert? It looks like Tangles' favourite festival waistcoat.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:25,
Reply)
Oh MAN
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:35,
Reply)
The picture looks more like Stunned.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:42,
Reply)
I imagine chompy has a sofa like this with pleather panels
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:22,
Reply)
+ jacket made out of a
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:22,
Reply)
I bet your socks are like the second one.
(
Kroney, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:23,
Reply)
Nah they are orange with thin grey hoops
I clicked I like this on your post by accident, to clarify, I do not like your post
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:24,
Reply)
I do like it, but won't click to make it fair.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:25,
Reply)
You used to be cool man
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:26,
Reply)
I still am.
I don't really like it.
PS Your socks sound super cool, like you.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:28,
Reply)
Before he got dumped?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:29,
Reply)
NONE OF YOU KNEW ME THEN
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:30,
Reply)
That's pretty close to what my set is, and I love my sofas.
I picked them without looking at the price, and they happened to be a non-expensive model, and I based the rest of my room around them.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:53,
Reply)
Altalt: nearly as bent as this thread.
(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:18,
Reply)
I am not a parent.
I have found that parents don't like it when I suggest they should tell their brats to shut the fuck up. And they don't like it when I tell them they shouldn't take their ADHD kids to adult places.
I don't know if me not having my own children is relevant to the reception my 'advice' though.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:19,
Reply)
Speaking as "Not a Parent"
I endorse this post
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Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:30,
Reply)
I also find it relevant to my interests.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:31,
Reply)
Speaking as a parent I agree completely.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:04,
Reply)
bribery
works like a charm, and you hand them back when they are thoroughly spoiled/overexcited/full of sugar
alt: stop turning battered on. you know that place is porn for him.
altalt: as bent as a pink sock.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:21,
Reply)
You shouldn't have to bribe them.
They're children, not Russian mafia bosses. They should do what they're fucking told.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:23,
Reply)
it's so much easier if you bribe them
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:25,
Reply)
Rod - back
Your nieces/nephews will always expect this from you.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:30,
Reply)
Well I never!
Bullyin by a mod, you should be stripped of your powers immediately
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:21,
Reply)
thanks to a comedy misunderstanding of seinfeld proportions my mum gave me fresh cod for dinner every day
(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:21,
Reply)
I'd suggest a course of chelation therapy immediately.
There might still be time to save you.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:22,
Reply)
You want to feed him turtles?
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:25,
Reply)
i dont wanna eat turtles
why would bayth say that?
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:28,
Reply)
I didn't, man, swear down.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:30,
Reply)
Loving your consistent pronunciation work here, Reggers.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:32,
Reply)
Nakers is so bent he's used as a scale of reference for bentness.
(
Kroney, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:23,
Reply)
It's logarithmic : (
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:25,
Reply)
Don't talk to Kroney about logs.
You'll get him all excited.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:26,
Reply)
Might explain your frequency of toilet visits
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:28,
Reply)
I'm getting chips actually.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:24,
Reply)
I recommend fish and ketchup (no sachets) to go with that
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:25,
Reply)
Good tip.
I don't want to ruin my appetite for Enchiladas tonight though.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:27,
Reply)
mmmm, *seksay*
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:29,
Reply)
Tres you, Gaston.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:45,
Reply)
I've had two kids now, so I'm pretty much an expert
I can be called upon to point out where people are doing things wrong on a number of issues.
It's very easy to upset people by offering parenting advice.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:28,
Reply)
much an expert loose, like a wizard's sleeve
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:31,
Reply)
You still find me attractive though, don't you babe?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:32,
Reply)
*flutters eyelashes*
Fresh!
(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:34,
Reply)
*bokes*
(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:34,
Reply)
It seems to be one of two areas in life that people hate any suggestion of criticism of technique,
the other being sex.
See also 'driving' where men are concerned.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:32,
Reply)
Nothing wrong with my technique - I always come.
Not so good at sex though.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:35,
Reply)
Oh I disagree
As a younger man I went out with a lady who was 6 years older than me who gave me plenty of criticism regarding the sexhay stuff. As I wanted to improve (last longer than 33 seconds) I learned now I am still a shit shag but can manage a full 52 seconds.
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:38,
Reply)
I thought your username meant you had gotten worse over the years.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:40,
Reply)
Yeah but now I do it nearly twice
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Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:50,
Reply)
+ at ejecting my yurtcream into the right hole on occasion before stepping back whilst the real work is done
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:33,
Reply)
Parenting advice tends to relate either to "the perfect child"
or "the person giving the advice's child who of course is/was perfect", as such, YMMV.
Most of it is wrong when applied to a different child, but eagerly seized upon by those without the wit to think for themselves.
The hard bit is spotting the few gems in a massive field of shit.
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:33,
Reply)
A bit like on here then?
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:39,
Reply)
Are we supposed to be impressed on here then?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:40,
Reply)
We can't be surely?
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:41,
Reply)
I wouldn't hold your breath if you are waiting to be.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:42,
Reply)
Are we supposed to be impressed by the fact you can push out genetically damaged progeny?
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:34,
Reply)
Let's leave YM out of this.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:40,
Reply)
Are we supposed to be impressed by a YM joke delivered 6 MINUTES after the insult?
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:43,
Reply)
WTCF is that?
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:49,
Reply)
Very useful if you have a knocking shop with no furniture.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:52,
Reply)
and a truckload of Scotchgard.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:56,
Reply)
I assume that one has raised arms?
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:53,
Reply)
very good.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:56,
Reply)
"Oh Kroney, paint me like one of your French whores".
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:57,
Reply)
I like that. Very stylish.
I think it's the reclining ends that make it.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:51,
Reply)
Not clicking that soz, might be a classic car
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:53,
Reply)
You'll be beating the vadge off.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:56,
Reply)
strikethrough the vadge
add yourself
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:57,
Reply)
Can you imagine trying to get out of that thing, it'll take a minuite to shimmy over every time you want a sip of tea.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:58,
Reply)
Yeah, but since nobody'll ever get in that thing in the first place, it seems moot.
(
Kroney, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:59,
Reply)
I like the way they've dishevelled the sheets just so you _know_ something went on in there.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:00,
Reply)
why do the sheets look wipe clean
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Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:59,
Reply)
I'm bored, this thread is shit
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 13:58,
Reply)
I've got loads more links to post?
I'm posting maybe ten percent of the really fucking hideous stuff. Plenty more where that came from!
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Kroney, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:00,
Reply)
Yeah?
Well, so's your FACE.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:00,
Reply)
Sofa-king what?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:01,
Reply)
Please, save us from the mundanity with more of your fascinating games of guessing the apparel.
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:02,
Reply)
Do you think his sock garters are orange or grey?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:02,
Reply)
Depends if that's a euphemism
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:03,
Reply)
I reckon he's just narked
because I've accidentally been posting the contents of his house.
(
Kroney, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:03,
Reply)
My old gran used to say
'Money can't buy you sense or taste'
Apparently she was right.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:06,
Reply)
Sounds like exactly the sort of thing a miserable Scottish povvo would say, I'll grant you that.
(
Kroney, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:08,
Reply)
or chips...
no not chips, I meant clothes
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Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:10,
Reply)
I stand by this statement
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:28,
Reply)
I was very tempted to post on the BBC link
But decided not to, I think young Battered should use his mumsnet login to throw my favourite parent anger baiting line...
"by the very definition of the word most parents are Paedophiles"
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Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:07,
Reply)
I've got a couple of Kroneys in fiddling with my PC
They're swapping IT anecdotes, it's WELL LOL
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:15,
Reply)
Ask them what cleaning fluid they'd suggest for use with your PC internals.
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Kroney, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:16,
Reply)
They've gone now
I can still smell them though :(
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:22,
Reply)
Mildew and Wotsits.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:23,
Reply)
Good ol' fashioned B.O.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:24,
Reply)
There is nothing better as a childless man than telling other people how to raise their kids.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:17,
Reply)
Sorry, "sharing childrearing advice"
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:18,
Reply)
NONCE ALERT
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:19,
Reply)
I don't tell them how to raise them
just to either keep them quiet or at home. How they do it isn't my problem.
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Kroney, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:19,
Reply)
Hear hear!
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:22,
Reply)
Queer queer MORE LIKE
(you gay prick)
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:23,
Reply)
Bit rich coming from Mr 'ooh I do hope he's alright'
Emotional bender.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:25,
Reply)
Yeah Nullo's of the world unite...
I don't like children just keep them the fuck away from me.
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Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:23,
Reply)
This thread is even worse than 'salted peanuts'.
Anyone heard from knobcheese? I do hope he's alright.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:19,
Reply)
I can link you to an ugly wardrobe, if that'll help?
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Kroney, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:20,
Reply)
I don't think he has posted since he was ignoring everyone.
Either he got the new job and can't get on here, or that was classic breakdown behaviour and he checked in to KFC on the way home.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:24,
Reply)
Poor sod, that must have shat him right up.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:25,
Reply)
altalt: So bent that time itself is disrupted in his vicinity.
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:24,
Reply)
welcome to yesterday lokkers you loaf headed ogre
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:26,
Reply)
*kicks groundhog*
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:28,
Reply)
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