Other than when we used to have a right laugh on here,
tell the class the last time you were truly happy and realised that you were? Balls deep in YM, there, I said it.

Alt: Rebecca Adlington - lovely lady or dolphin on toast?

Altalt: Chrimblymass dinners on LiC, he said so in the last thread. Turkey or Goose?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 10:38, 140 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

disneyland, may 1989
it's been downhill ever since.

alt: not a single fuck given.

altalt: NUT ROAST!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 10:43, Reply)

I love Disneyland. You mean "land", right?
Not 'world in Florida?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 10:53, Reply)

of course i mean "land"
I've done both.

California pisses on florida.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:10, Reply)

Bollocks.
There are like 3 rides at 'land. The best one is the water logs.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:17, Reply)

i was expanding it wider than just disney
because I am not a paedo. in general, California pisses on florida.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:18, Reply)

Six Flags LA pisses on the rest of the world.
It's the king daddy.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:19, Reply)

never been to a six flags
I fucking love rollercoasters. I could live at alton towers.

wasn't it six flags where that poor girl got her feet cut off on a ride? Kentucky, I think.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:26, Reply)

there are 18 rollercoasters at six flags

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:32, Reply)

BUT TWO SPARE FEET!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:38, Reply)

Dolphin
Sutin veggie.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 10:44, Reply)

Veggie is wrong.
Are you an ehical veggie or just dunt like eating animals?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 10:52, Reply)

It ent a Christmas dinner if there's no meat, it's just a crap meal.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 10:53, Reply)

Needs at least 3 meats incl stuffing.
And a non-meat stuffing.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 10:56, Reply)

Never.
Alt: Dolphin
Altalt: Turkey

Cheers
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 10:47, Reply)

Alt: I would.
Alt: Goose. Every time. Or duck.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 10:51, Reply)

I ordered my goose and ham from the butchers at the weekend.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 10:54, Reply)

You have a very good local butcher IIRC.
I will probably cook duck for me & micro.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 10:57, Reply)

Coca Cola ham for me again
Got a nice silverside for the weekend though - NOM
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 10:59, Reply)

I do that. Nigella innit.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:05, Reply)

yer I may put her special white powser coating on it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:07, Reply)

And a pleather jacket?
She's on the Fail website today going to court.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:10, Reply)

I have never had goose.
Turkey is shit really, but it's traditional and things must remain the same forever.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 10:59, Reply)

No, turkey is excellent if cooked well
Bad turkey is shit
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:01, Reply)

It's okay, I can't get excited about it.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:07, Reply)

Goose is lovely. It was the traditional Christmas meat until the septics infected us with turkey.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:01, Reply)

I'm gonna have goose next time I see it on a menu somewhere, I won't cook it myself as I will royally fuck it up.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:08, Reply)

quite fatty isn't it?
like duck?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:10, Reply)

Very fatty.
Last one I cooked I got over a litre of fat out of it.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:11, Reply)

but enough about your mum

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:12, Reply)

I don't know I HAVE NEVER HAD IT
READ WOMAN, READ!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:11, Reply)

well nor have i
but I still know this much.

they LOOK like ducks, ffs.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:12, Reply)

Your face looks like a ducks

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:13, Reply)

rory's not here for you to impress

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:13, Reply)

I know, but I thought you'd still like to know that you have the face of a duck.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:14, Reply)

balls

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:17, Reply)

No, they are normal. It's just the face.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:19, Reply)

Anyone who says anything to impress Rory fails at life.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:32, Reply)

Cook it upside down on a trivet & most of the fat will come out.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:13, Reply)

Turkey is easy to fuck up. Done well it's great.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:06, Reply)

Bland.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:07, Reply)

^^

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:07, Reply)

If Turkey was really great
we would eat it more often
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:09, Reply)

Good point.
As a one off, it's average if done well.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:11, Reply)

ALT NERD REFERENCE ALERT
She reminds me of Odo from Star Trek, no real features just a vague human shaped face.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 10:51, Reply)

Haha.
I would but I'd hate myself.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 10:52, Reply)

this^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 10:52, Reply)

I bet she gives a cracking hand job.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 10:54, Reply)

There's a danger of pull off during a pull off

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 10:59, Reply)

I'm game if she is.
Dangerwank!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:00, Reply)

I thought you'd be more of a Tom Daley fan

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:00, Reply)

I'd bounce on his board!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:06, Reply)

Minimal splash

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:07, Reply)

No girlfriend^^

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 10:54, Reply)

I take great pleasure from the simple things in life
A cold beer, a warm fire - so I'm happy often

Alt:
I'd flipper

AltAlt:
Turkey with roast pork too
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 10:54, Reply)

Altalt: Liking the combo. Do you cook the chrimbo dinner?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 10:55, Reply)

Yep, always
A bit of roast pork with turkey is excellent. CRACKLING!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 10:58, Reply)

True enough. Crackling is the dinner accompaniment of the discerning gentleman.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:01, Reply)

See also:
Pigs in blankets
Stuffing
Sausagemeat
Proper cranberry sauce
Roasties done in proper fat
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:02, Reply)

Get out of my head, man.
Bread sauce
Chestnut and cornbread stuffing.
Roast ham.
Red cabbage.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:04, Reply)

I've never had bread sauce
TRUFAX

I'll make some this year
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:08, Reply)

I'd never had it until 2 years ago. Now it's a MUST.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:08, Reply)

How can you have gone 39 years on this planet & not had bread sauce?
It is ace.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:10, Reply)

Just never been offered
I promise to make some this Christmas
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:15, Reply)

i wouldn't bother
it looks disgusting. like you dunked a roll in onion soup and left it there for 4 hours.

www.deliaonline.com/recipes/type-of-dish/savoury/traditional-bread-sauce.html
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:29, Reply)

You are a fucking idiot.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:32, Reply)

that does NOT look like tasty food
it looks, as the frogular one has said, like vom.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:37, Reply)

Ssshh.
The men are talking.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:33, Reply)

I read "breakfast milk" as "breast milk"
That would make a creamy sauce.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:35, Reply)

Bread sauce looks like cat sick.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:35, Reply)

So do a lot of curries, but they still taste good.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:59, Reply)

bread MAN
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:18, Reply)

And
Proper gravy
Roasted parsnips
Mashed swede
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:06, Reply)

Roasted parsnips are lovely with everything

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:30, Reply)

no
nononononoononononoooooooooooooo

parsnips are a massive disappointment. roasted they look like chips. they aren't. mashed they look like mash. they aren't. nasty sweet things. urgh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:37, Reply)

grain mustard and honey = win

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:39, Reply)

discerning gentleman heart attack victim
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:13, Reply)

I was rather happy on Sunday
Ate good food, saw friends, went to the cinema, chilled in the pub. Not a bad day at all.

Alt: Lovely.

AltAlt: Never had goose.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 10:59, Reply)

You should take a gander at goose

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:01, Reply)

It's like duck. Sort of.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:01, Reply)

I fucked this chick of B3ta once
Anyone want to see the sex tape?
( Peej, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:01, Reply)

Is that what you tied her to the bed with?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:02, Reply)

i told you to delete it

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:14, Reply)

He said chick, not ranga.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:16, Reply)

Fuck no
who wants to see a 20 toed inbreed weeble away on a land whale
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:15, Reply)

you

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:16, Reply)

Well yeah
I meant apart from me... DUH
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:18, Reply)

Last weekend being horribly non-PC with my Brum friends
Alt: Lovely lady.
Altalt: Birds Eye Frozen Roast Turkey Dinner For One
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:04, Reply)

And a single Fruitini for dessert?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:07, Reply)

Well, I suppose, it IS christmas after all

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:31, Reply)

The first time I took ecstasy was absolutely awesome.
I must have been (was) dancing like a right tit, because I had people coming up to me saying kindy/patronisingly "First time?"

Alt: nah. Seems nice enough, but ... nah.

Altalt: Oi dunno what the BLUDDY ELL YOR TALKIN ABOWT!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:05, Reply)

It's that or go around shaking everyone's hand saying "Hello, mate. Dave, North London" or wherever you're from.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:13, Reply)

Yes.
I was doing the most enthusiastic version of "Big fish, little fish, cardboard box" in all of Christendom, while grinning like a rapist in a nunnery and grinding my teeth into dust.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:28, Reply)

The first time you took E was the last time you were truly happy?
Or are you just telling the group your LOLWAKI drugs tales?

*whispers* We all do it...
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:34, Reply)

Yes I was wondering when this reply would come up.
That and "I'd take drugs too/dark graph novels/north London bedsit".

It's nearly Thursday!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:36, Reply)

You must have had more recent happier moments though?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:38, Reply)

I met a man who had lost his house, wife, son and daughter in Hurricane Katrina, while he was working on an oil rig.
As he said, "You've just got to get on, and know that every day above ground is a blessing."
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:53, Reply)

Wise words.
Still, you'd be a bit pissed off though. I bet his wife was a right bitch and he was cashing it in with the insurance.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:58, Reply)

Clean slate for him innit
Big insurance payout and no dependants he will have himself a dolly bird in no time
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:00, Reply)

I settled with simply prodding him in the chest and saying
"You know what you are, Sir? You're CARELESS, that's what!"

I then finished my drink, and walked away. People like that don't deserve company.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:03, Reply)

*Tips Hat*
Genuine office chuckle, well played
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:05, Reply)

i have mini chocolate orange segments that someone kindly bought for me
they are making me happy
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:13, Reply)

STOP STICKING THEM UP YOUR FLUME

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:15, Reply)

STOP JUDGING ME BY YOUR OWN STANDARDS

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:16, Reply)

YOU FUCKING WANKER

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:15, Reply)

what??

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:16, Reply)

Bought for you???????

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:16, Reply)

some desperado trying to bribe me into putting out, then

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:17, Reply)

It's mini-jaffa-cake-gate all over again

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:18, Reply)

a chocolatey orangey theme

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:27, Reply)

LESSON LEARNT

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:29, Reply)

mmmm so good

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:30, Reply)

>:(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:30, Reply)

THEY WERE A GIFT

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:34, Reply)

I'M NOT SO SURE ABOUT THAT

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:34, Reply)

I AM THE LAW

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:36, Reply)

+C

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:37, Reply)

LAW conveyancer
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:41, Reply)

i wish
then I wouldn't be dealing with the shite on my desk
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:46, Reply)

Green eeeeeeyes. Burning like fiiiiireeee

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:38, Reply)

I was taught to share.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:40, Reply)

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:17, Reply)

Dunno. Bound to have been single and on drugs at the time.
Altalt: I always take goose out of the oven too quickly and smash it on the oven door /starwars

Someone on maternity just came into the office with their crotchfruit. There is much gurgling and greeting, and that's just the fuckers who're bumping off work for ten minutes to make cum faces in public at a portable shit vendor. Other peoples kids are up there with other peoples dreams in the "things I don't give a flying fuck about stop talking and get away from me now" category.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:19, Reply)

But I like new mommy breasts.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:22, Reply)

New mommy breasts dont compensate
for the ruined foof
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:24, Reply)

I'm in that category also.
You got spunked up. Well done.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:36, Reply)

Alt: massively insecure about herself, anyone know her username?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:21, Reply)

Yesterday playing with my youngest grand-piglet

She's OK but if she's determined to be in the spotlight she'll have to accept the flak. Could be worse for her, imagine her coming on here.

Beef beef beef beef beef.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:27, Reply)

That's a terrible thing to say about your grand-piglet

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:32, Reply)

What is?
Oh yeah. She's not got a big hooter right?
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:33, Reply)

Probably in Paris this year. I realised I have a good job, stable life and lovely partner.
Still waiting for something to go tits up but I had a bad year in 2012 so this is my just desserts.

alt. Dolphin faced whiny slag who moans about being ugly, yet flashes her face everywhere.

Alt. Beef.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:29, Reply)

ALT: So women should cover their faces should they?
CREEPING SHARIA! MUSLIMIC FUNDAMENTALIST!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:31, Reply)

BUMDAMENTALIST MORE LIKE

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:36, Reply)

It's not shariah law. It's MY law.
Cover up, uglies!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:36, Reply)

Oh, GAYLAW
+ D
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:38, Reply)

Oh LAWDY!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:42, Reply)

Nice one! On all counts.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 11:34, Reply)

I'm happy now im off to buy a suit after noms.
Goose iz nice, best Crimbo bird had recently was wood pigeon.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:07, Reply)

Wood pigeon?
Small portion of meat for Chrimblemas.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:11, Reply)

That's what YD said!!!!!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:35, Reply)

Alt: Having met her on numerous occassions
I can confirm that she's a prize cunt.
( Muns, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:50, Reply)