Bringing ......... Back
I saw that a house on my street had its windows egged today. How very retro. This led to tales of paint stripper over cars etc.

What's the last retro thing you saw?

Alt. Worst tales of revenge tactics.

altalt. After Movember etc, some of my friends re trying a "Dryathlon", staying sober for a month (I don't know what that means either), Let's think of some b3ta charity events

Or not, I dunno. AT LEAST IM TRYING!!!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:22, 225 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

I for one am getting heartily fed up of trying to hi-jack months like Movember has, and also stupid bloody national/world "days" doing lolwaki shit for charity
It's Wear A Christmas Jumper Day!

It's Wear A Hat Day!

It's ZOMG GROUP HUG Day!

FFS.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:26, Reply)

Some folk obviously need sub activities to fill their life with meaning.
Fanuary is by far the worst.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:27, Reply)

as a gay man I thought you would approve of sub activities

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:30, Reply)

had it is windows egged?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:27, Reply)

Fuck off Grammar Nazi, the house is alive, OK?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:28, Reply)

window's? window is?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:28, Reply)

the 'egged today' owned by the window.
Duh.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:31, Reply)

you don't need to use apostrophes on plurals either.
HTH xx
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:29, Reply)

Yes, I know. I was just typing quickly.
Thank you Mr English, writer of the Dictionary and general lord of the world.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:31, Reply)

it's primary school level stuff

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:32, Reply)

and I care just as much too!
xx
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:33, Reply)

you cared enough to correct it

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:35, Reply)

I knew how upset you were

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:36, Reply)

^ upset ^

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:37, Reply)

Mr.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:32, Reply)

I like how typing quickly makes you add in extra punctuation, which in theory would mean you were typing marginally slower thanks to the superfluous apostrophes.
Sorry, apostrophe's
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:33, Reply)

he's over on dictionary.com looking up 'superfluous'
It's alright though, he copied and pasted it.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:36, Reply)

Why don't the pair of you just fuck on a pile of dictionaries and get it out your system?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:37, Reply)

I like how you get irate about things which are taught in primary school.
Also 'out of'.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:40, Reply)

I like how you read my posts in an irate voice.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:48, Reply)

^ upset ^

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:51, Reply)

Just because we use language correctly doesn't mean we want to sex each other.
Obviously we do, but that's another story.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:46, Reply)

is it my turn to go bottom?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:53, Reply)

+in the

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:59, Reply)

no, other way round

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:00, Reply)

YM.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:31, Reply)

YMs minge
It looked like she was giving birth to Kevin Keegan
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:32, Reply)

Despite having a perceptible degree of stubble for the majority of the last two years
I keep getting asked if I'm doing Movember. Pissed me off so much last month that I went clean shaven.
( Kroney, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:34, Reply)

You really are stroppy prick sometimes.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:35, Reply)

Takes one to know one, I guess.

( Kroney, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:53, Reply)

I just can't be arsed to shave more than once every 4-5 days

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:36, Reply)

nor me

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:37, Reply)

Really?
I thought you'd be an every day chap
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:38, Reply)

nah
I ent that hirsute isn't it thankyoupleasecomeagain.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:39, Reply)

bumfluff

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:42, Reply)

nah, I grow proper facial hair, just relatively slowly.
I can get away with shaving twice a week.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:42, Reply)

I'm guessing football moustache
11 a side
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:54, Reply)

Mine grows pretty slowly, too. Not that I ever go beyond the realm of stubble.
One of the guys at work gets an 11am shadow instead of a 5pm one and busted out a full handlebar inside of a week. Talk about your feelings of inadequacies.
( Kroney, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:56, Reply)

I think I could get a full on Dali in Movember

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:58, Reply)

yeah a guy here needs to shave twice a day
It's just showing off really.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:59, Reply)

He is probably a shaved gorrilla
As humanity has evolved from apes I always point out that the process of evolution meant we lost the need for hair so anyone who grows it that quickly needs to evolve a bit more.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:23, Reply)

Paedo's love that month, they can be integrated back into society.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:38, Reply)

Paedos

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:48, Reply)

:( Why am I sticking extra apostophes everywhere?
WHY???!!!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:51, Reply)

because you're a bit thick and you 'work' in a call centre

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:52, Reply)

J'a'y'

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:53, Reply)

Because you're typing quickly, apparently.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:56, Reply)

Does Mariokart count as retro these days?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:43, Reply)

only the SNES and N64 versions.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:44, Reply)

Oh man
Wii
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:44, Reply)

it wasn't a very good iteration

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:45, Reply)

My 4 year old is stupidly good at it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:46, Reply)

WOAH

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:50, Reply)

Retro beheadings that the police don't care about should be the order of the day.
I saw a pair of Kickers the other day - that was pretty retro.

Dryathlons are for quitters.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:53, Reply)

Dryathlon?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:54, Reply)

yer, like sober october innit

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:55, Reply)

Fuck that shit
I had a lovely bottle of Rioja last night
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:55, Reply)

I drank about five bottles of Rioja on Saturday. I WIN.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:02, Reply)

ouch

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:02, Reply)

That was just the start mate. Woo! Drinking loads!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:03, Reply)

\o/

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:06, Reply)

We had a bottle of champagne and managed to sink almost a litre of vodka despite only having 2 drinks each.
Geordie measures.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:24, Reply)

I had a mojito that was pretty much a pint of booze with some ice in.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:25, Reply)

and some mint leaves!
Winning. I love a good Mojito.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:34, Reply)

I saw a man wearing Ugg boots and Beats headphones.
I'm not joking.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:55, Reply)

I'm starting with the man in the mirror

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:55, Reply)

nah, this dude is grossly fat
Srsly, a man wearing Uggs? What fuckery is this?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:56, Reply)

Uggs are shit
They look like special needs slippers
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:58, Reply)

so does your face

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:59, Reply)

This is true
I am a monumentally ugly cunt
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 12:59, Reply)

^ upset ^

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:00, Reply)

No, this really is what I look like

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:02, Reply)

I've got some Uggs.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:15, Reply)

You have a major case of 'The Uggs', the worst I have seen in a long time.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:16, Reply)

Thanks very much!
*prouds*
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:17, Reply)

i liked it so i put a click on it

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:22, Reply)

The worst since you, obviously.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:24, Reply)

too late was the cry
when the man with the clicks has passed you by
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:27, Reply)

Why?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:18, Reply)

Dole office fashion innit

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:25, Reply)

Present from Australia.
They don't tend to wear them outside. I neither would I. They're indoor footwear.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:27, Reply)

please tell me that you put the cat in them from time to time

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:28, Reply)

The cat can get its own fucking Uggs.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:29, Reply)

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1200494/Puss-Ugg-boots-The-shaved-cat-looks-like-shes-following-latest-trands.html
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:31, Reply)

You shouldn't google 'shaven pussy' at work.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:32, Reply)

I never got how those are from Australia.
Apparently they use them after coming out of the surf.

What's wrong with towels?
I bet they fucking stink!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:20, Reply)

Their boots will also stink

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:25, Reply)

Sheepskin from Australia?
Do they have a lot of massive sheep ranches?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:30, Reply)

That's New Zealand, innit.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:35, Reply)

No.
Australia is one of the world's leading producers of lamb and mutton, the largest exporter of mutton and live sheep, and second largest exporter of lamb. The Australian public are among the biggest consumers of lamb in the world. The off-farm meat value of the Australian sheepmeat industry is $3.9 billion. There are 75 million sheep in Australia.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:49, Reply)

OIC
I meant more, why do Australians, who live in very hot climates, need sheep lined boots.

I then answered my own question, but thanks for your input.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:51, Reply)

You are most welcome.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:54, Reply)

Do you prefer a) warm wine b) hot cider c) I don't care? (This is a mull tipple choice question)
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:14, Reply)

Boo!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:15, Reply)

Mulled wine is better than mulled cider.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:20, Reply)

Mulled cider isn't even a thing.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:26, Reply)

Yes it is. Silly.
Have a googlenose.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:28, Reply)

It's really not.
It's one of those stupid Hoxton made-up things, like iPad quilts and wearing socks ironically.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:35, Reply)

It's a total thing. They used to drink it in the olden days innit.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:36, Reply)

Westons and Aspalls make it as do Sainers and Waitrose.
I would suggest you are confusing it not being a thing and existing with being "recently invented".
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:39, Reply)

Wassail is mulled cider, which has been around for centuries.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:42, Reply)

like YM's punani

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:43, Reply)

Dont be such a fool
The Wassail (as in the song) also refers to the drink of hot mulled cider, topped with toasted bread. This dates back to the middle ages.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:42, Reply)

Checks them.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:43, Reply)

WOAH>>>

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:43, Reply)

Here we come a-wassailing among the leaves so green

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:47, Reply)

Calm down, carrotcruncher.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:54, Reply)

I do love a good wassail

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:58, Reply)

Drinkhail

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:00, Reply)

whilst the clever pun made me smile
ALL hot drinks are the devil's own spunk shot straight from his angry glistening gristle. and should be illegal.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:43, Reply)

Have you tried mulled wine?
It's lovely on a cold winters night. Makes your house smell nice too.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:47, Reply)

the girls were all drinking it in the pub yesterday
I had a nice icy cold vodka and a diet coke that was so beautifully cold the glass bottle hurt to touch it.

that is what drinks should be like!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:48, Reply)

I wouldn't drink it out. Unless I was at a special market.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:50, Reply)

we know all about your "special markets"...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:50, Reply)

Wipe clean is the future. Just you wait.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:53, Reply)

TIL that the technical term for pigeon shit is "guano"

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:30, Reply)

Like: I'm guano shite all over your windscreen?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:32, Reply)

Bat shit.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:32, Reply)

Mental

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:32, Reply)

Imma guano shit my pants.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:39, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2164344
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:56, Reply)

Yes well I knew this so am not impressed in the slightest.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:33, Reply)

just because you're a shit shoveller

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:42, Reply)

Someone's got to move all your bullshit

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:52, Reply)

until recently
one of the most expensive fertilisers you could get...

In the same way that Ambergris was hugely expensive (it still is to a certain extent) but has been surpassed by modern chemicals
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:37, Reply)

I saw a documentary recently for a special type of coffee that is made from shit-out coffee beans.
They had actual Civet farms where the animals were force fed coffee beans due to high demand :(
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:49, Reply)

It's supposed to be delicious.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:49, Reply)

The Honda Civet shits the best coffee beans

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:50, Reply)

:(((
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-24034029
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:52, Reply)

That's them. Poor buggers.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:53, Reply)

LOL

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:54, Reply)

They've never civet so good!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:56, Reply)

It's never bean better!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:57, Reply)

dont mock them they will be bitter
but with a smooth aftertaste
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:59, Reply)

Dont mocha them?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:54, Reply)

I'm sorry, but if you buy that kind of coffee you deserve exactly everything you get
morally and otherwise.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:20, Reply)

coffee is gross
and the animals are fluffy.

this story upsets me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:21, Reply)

Civets are cunts.
Given half a chance they would piss in your knicker drawer.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:24, Reply)

they wouldn't be the first

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:25, Reply)

You can get those tena lady pads now love
No more sneeze pissing worries
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:26, Reply)

But what you get
is a nice cup of coffee, so surely that's ok?
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:24, Reply)

I really don't care.
I just can't believe that the BBC has written a hand-wringing editorial about a kind of coffee almost exclusively purchased by the some of the worst fucking people on the face of the earth. As if they care.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:27, Reply)

And Stephen Fry.
I'm just assuming he bought it ironically.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:31, Reply)

If I recall an interview
He bought some for Prince Charles, as a gift for the man that has everything.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:33, Reply)

Just to be a difficult cunt
actually, it isn't. Guano "techincally" refers to the shit of seabirds* and pigeons aren't seabirds.

It's used to mean any birdshit in colloquial English but that's technically incorrect.

*yes, I know, also bat shit, for some reason, before someone googles it to correct me
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:23, Reply)

I just shouted at Foxtons
It was completely pointless and will make no difference to their cuntish ways , but I feel a bit better at least
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:55, Reply)

Buying or selling?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:55, Reply)

Resident of flat they are trying to rent
I would never employ them
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:02, Reply)

What they doing, Nakers?
Want us to call them cunts too?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:04, Reply)

if you're the outgoing tenant
and they are trying to let it at this time of year, when no fucker wants to move around Christmas time, you are worth less to them than glittery donkey shite.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:11, Reply)

So far I've let them do 1 viewing out of about 10 requests
As they are unable to give decent notice or work around our lives
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:16, Reply)

I hope they throw you out on the streets on Christmas eve

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:20, Reply)

THERE'S THE SPIRIT!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:22, Reply)

you know they're going in whilst you're at work, right?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:21, Reply)

you know I'm going in your wife whilst you're at work, right?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:22, Reply)

9.79/10

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:25, Reply)

You know the world doesn't revolve around you, right?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:22, Reply)

You know I'm just joining in, right?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:23, Reply)

you know the way to San Jose, right?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:25, Reply)

You know Jesus is the reason for the season, right?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:26, Reply)

I imagine he lets the power of Jesus into his life on a daily basis.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:28, Reply)

I think he likes feeling his love deep inside.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:31, Reply)

your bible bashing does worry me
badger, sort him out. he's a Believer.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:29, Reply)

v b
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:29, Reply)

Then I saw his face...

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:29, Reply)

it looked like a plasterer's radio.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:30, Reply)

I believe in Jesus as much as I believe in your silly phonecall story being a 'sign' or whatever nonsense you go on about.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:31, Reply)

Women, eh?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:32, Reply)

Can't live with them
Can't kill them and leave them in a shallow unmarked grave.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:33, Reply)

Well, you can........

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:33, Reply)

If you're going to follow that argument
you also "can" live with them.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:34, Reply)

Well, you can......

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:34, Reply)

*finger-guns*
Now you get it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:35, Reply)

They are IDIOTS Jason, you've got the right idea

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:34, Reply)

No-strings casual sex with men is just SO much less hassle.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:34, Reply)

and yet for some reason, one's boyfriends always complain about it

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:35, Reply)

that's becuase they aren't getting the sex.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:38, Reply)

No, nope, nah.
I'm a rare breed.

A monogamous gay.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:37, Reply)

ogamous

umental
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:39, Reply)

TOP

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:46, Reply)

wasn't suggesting otherwise, old fruit.
I was just espousing the lovely theory that, if one were in the market for no-strings sex, mano-e-mano would result in less of the needy texts afterwards.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:40, Reply)

NOTCH

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:46, Reply)

Monogaymy.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:40, Reply)

REPLIES

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:47, Reply)

no sign
you need to work out a LOGICAL reason as to why someone was in a locked school at 5.30am and calling me. no spiritual bollocks, no "ooh coincidence, they happen love" laziness. WE WANT FACTS.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:35, Reply)

It's a FACT that coincidences happen dickhead.
You are such a twat sometimes.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:37, Reply)

Janitor
security... or even PBX failure.
Rerouting call
Someone scribbling down the "good time" number from the local dogging spot and inputting it into an autodial
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:38, Reply)

the last one is the closest anyone has come to a reasonable suggestion

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:41, Reply)

Good time?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:43, Reply)

Well, no. RAther, you need to prove how a ghost worked a phone.
In the same way I don't have to prove there ISN'T a God, the burden of proof lies on the person making up the fairy tale.

That's SCIENCE, sweetie xx
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:38, Reply)

nononononononooooooooooooooooooooooo
i'm not saying there was a ghost. there are no ghosts. but "a wrong number" is too great a stretch when the other facts are taken into account. "coincidence" is a lazy word to explain what we can't be arsed to work out.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:40, Reply)

There are no other facts that are relevant, so nothing needs to be taken into account.
You are attaching an emotional meaning to something in which emotion has no relevance.

That number was stastically no less likely to wrong dial you than any other number. Do you think there's some deeper meaning to every wrong number you get? because any of them are equally as likely as that one.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:45, Reply)

Y'know, I had a premonition you would say something like that.
Weird, eh?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:47, Reply)

THAT CAN'T BE A COINCIDENCE

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:47, Reply)

It's almost like you're psychic, eh?
On which note, Derek Acorah has been charged after crashing his car at the weekend. I really, really, hope that, as well as the drink driving, they charge him for "not seeing it coming"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:51, Reply)

I love how Most Haunted televised when they caught him out.
They fed him a name 'Creed Kafer' which was an anagram of Derek Faker. Not only did he come up with the name but he hilariously said it when he was "possessed" and yelled it out. CREEEEEEEEEEEED KAAAAAFERRRRRRR!

ilol'd
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:54, Reply)

No it isn't.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:58, Reply)

It is if you read it on the internet and took it as fact.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:03, Reply)

Tell that to Yvette.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:05, Reply)

*Kreed Kafer*

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:08, Reply)

His real name is Derek Johnson anyway. The whole thing is fake.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:15, Reply)

surely the likelihood of getting a wrong number from a building that you know
has to be statistically smaller than all the other buildings in the world.

never mind the fact that nobody is in a non-boarding school at 5am...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:01, Reply)

The odds go up dramatically if there is a ghost mum roaming the corridors though

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:04, Reply)

Erm, no. Not in the slightest.
OK, I'm not being patronising here, I swear, because this part of probability tends to confuse a lot of people, but the subset of phone numbers or buildings you do know (very small) vs the subset of phone numbers of buildings you don't (very large) has no bearing at all on those phone numbers calling you. It's just statistically irrelevant, assuming you assume that the call isn't meant for you. It simply comes down to the number, and each number has an equal chance of calling you. Same as each lottery ball has an equal chance of being drawn.

If the call WAS for you, of course, then the opposite of what you think is actually true, it's much more likely to come from a number of a building you do know, but that's not a straight probability question.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:11, Reply)

I think the WE section of that pathetic outburst has somewhat backfired, love.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:39, Reply)

IT'S THE ROYAL WE

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:01, Reply)

What happened, in a nutshell?
I will get Sally Morgan on it.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:48, Reply)

i dreamed my mum was trying to speak to me and i couldn't understand what she was saying
woke up, bad dream, gah, back to sleep.

found mobile in morning with missed call from unknown number at 5am, when I was waking up. dialled it back. was my mother's school. where nobody should have been at 5am, and certainly where nobody had my private mobile number.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:04, Reply)

That is a bit strange mind.
Ever had a call from the school before?
You hadn't dialled it either?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:08, Reply)

Please Jay, let's not go through it all again eh?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:09, Reply)

:( I MISSED IT FIRST TIME ROUND :(
Just gaz me, yeah?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:14, Reply)

HTH XXXX
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2093330
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:17, Reply)

Thx bbz xx

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:24, Reply)

Let it go

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:56, Reply)

Bad pack of biscuits eh ?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 13:59, Reply)

I like Bruce.
Powerful bassist.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:03, Reply)

Forsyth?
Hornsby?
Dickinson?
Banner?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:29, Reply)

Revenge is a dish best served cold.
Like pizza.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:02, Reply)

yeah yeah, tell it to your lunch thread.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 14:05, Reply)

which I won

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:28, Reply)

i just discovered that radium-age sci fi exists
I'd been overlooking it all these years. Luckily there's a bunch for free on the gutenberg project
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:21, Reply)

STEVE!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:29, Reply)

JUST COMING!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:29, Reply)

*waggles eyebrows*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:36, Reply)

*waggles penis*
wait...
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:45, Reply)

You can waggle mine

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:47, Reply)

cost yer 15p

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:52, Reply)

10p an inch?
Deal
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 16:06, Reply)

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:44, Reply)

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOONNNNNNNEYYYYYYYYYYYYY

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 15:47, Reply)

Technically you didn't win the lunch thread.
As my beans on toast was still breakfast. I haven't had my lunch yet. Actually.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 16:04, Reply)

Still wins

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 16:06, Reply)