Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Alright?Now we are deep into January, how is your week/month/year panning out so far?
Alt:
Is that a new blouse? Have you lost weight? You look great!
SHIT CHAT UP LINES
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:07,
247 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
I expect good things from you in this thread(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:11,
Reply)
Steal someone's coat. You've just pulled.(
edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:10,
Reply)
If you scream or struggle I will kill your baby(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:10,
Reply)
Remember my name, you'll be screaming it later....
...
NO!! JASON!! GET AWAY!! NO!!!
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:11,
Reply)
I'm riding the brown pony!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:11,
Reply)
and my year is looking super, thanks for asking!(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:12,
Reply)
Can you remind her to take the kids to school in the morning please?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:17,
Reply)
I had been tempted to go with that but common decency prevented me.(, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:26, Reply)
WOWthere really is a first time for everything
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:28,
Reply)
Hello, I'm Just A Vagabond.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:15,
Reply)
Can we also talk about Dave Lee Travis assaulting someone on telly, to the sounds of The Smurfs.www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-25726928
This must be on the internet.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:15,
Reply)
Your clothes would look great on my bedroom floor!Covered in blood and spunk.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:15,
Reply)
ARGH!ONE AT A TIME PLEASE!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:20,
Reply)
Yeah, like you went halves(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:21,
Reply)
i'll let you know after skiing later in the week, doooooomalt: no, a very old one, but thanks.
altalt: is your dad a thief*?
* pikeyrory, we already know the answer from you
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:21,
Reply)
Allegedly genuine"Bet you £1 I can get your tits to jiggle without touching them"
*scream as gropes breasts*
"No, soz, can't do it. Here's your quid!"
(, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:22, Reply)
That did the rounds in school(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:23,
Reply)
I imagine that ol Breadhead was inflated for most of his school days(, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:29, Reply)
see also"have you ever had your breasts weighed?"
"no"
*juggles*
"WAHEY!"
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:28,
Reply)
hahahahahahaha!Stairway to heaven
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:28,
Reply)
i fucking hate laddered tightsit always seems that the expensive ones get laddered beyond repair, whereas the m&s 3 for a fiver are like the bloody Duracell bunny
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:29,
Reply)
No please, tell us some more of your *wonderful* anecdotes (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:32,
Reply)
ok fineI like wolford tights best, and they do last really well, in that they don't ladder through old age. however, if you catch them on something, or put a drunken finger through them when pulling them up, it's game over. at £30+ a pair, that's really annoying.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:34,
Reply)
I like to put a drunken finger through them(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:37,
Reply)
If it goes in without the tights tearing then you are in for a whole world of trouble
(, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:45, Reply)
oh manI thought she was applauding my technique
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:58,
Reply)
All I read of this is"put a drunken finger through them"
I want you to think about what you have done young lady
(, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:38, Reply)
If you liked it, then you should've put a finger through itOh oh ohhhh
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:39,
Reply)
THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE YOUNG LADYDon't make me send you to the naughty step
(, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:46, Reply)
the idea of having my tights ladderedin the name of lurve or otherwise is punishment enough
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:47,
Reply)
Fancy a dance? Good, fuck off and dance then while I chat up your better looking friend.
(, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:29, Reply)
If I buy you a bottle of ThunderbirdCan I finger you behind the bikesheds...
(, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:29, Reply)
Excuse me love could you help me move something?About 10cc approximately 6"
(, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:33, Reply)
My wife doesn't understand me...(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:44,
Reply)
That's because you are off your face on drugs and you talk shit for most of the time. Hth xx(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:46,
Reply)
Do birds not like that then?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:49,
Reply)
speaking as a "chick"I can confirm that we do not "dig it"
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:50,
Reply)
Speaking as a "bloke"I can confirm that we do not "care"
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:56,
Reply)
Speaking as a "Black"I can confirm the we cannot "swim"
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:58,
Reply)
I bet swipey loves it when you roll up to meet her outside work, having been in the pub since four.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:00,
Reply)
Maybe you're pregnant then?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:03,
Reply)
surely that would make me late?once at least
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:13,
Reply)
I have one pint at 4Then generally I wait around for hours as she has absolutely no sense of timekeeping, by which time I complain as soon as I meet her and she takes me for another pint to shut me up and keep me happy.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:03,
Reply)
Aw you kids are so sweet(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:06,
Reply)
It's that and the fact your wife is too thick to understand your witterings x(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:50,
Reply)
Bless her, I didn't marry her for her brains.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:55,
Reply)
Did you begin the thick wife thing or is that a roryism?(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:56,
Reply)
i don't think she's thickjust blind, deaf and lacking in taste, smell or touch.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:57,
Reply)
How do you think I was able to pull her in the first place?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:57,
Reply)
What's that? There's a boy trapped down a well?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:25,
Reply)
I sayIt was a slow toss, but he's put that clean through the field for four
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:35,
Reply)
Pretty much all of my memes were started by either Rory or Monty (RIP)(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:57,
Reply)
Rory will never leave.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:59,
Reply)
He is currently 'naked ape'Another hilarious name change to make up for his lack of own personality.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:03,
Reply)
You've single handedly killed that now.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:05,
Reply)
See, I am helping you(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:06,
Reply)
No, that would be because you are upset again(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:13,
Reply)
Oh Jason! Naked is Rory, Baked is Nakers. Easy really.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:04,
Reply)
I changed that while you were ranting.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:05,
Reply)
And by the fact you're a yurt prick with a retard missus(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:59,
Reply)
All I need is to embrace the yurt side of things now(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:02,
Reply)
I know. You already make me eat NO MEAT sometimes(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:08,
Reply)
How can you even eat NO MEAT?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:20,
Reply)
I don't understand how it works.All I'm saying it that sometimes things look like a normal meal, but it's literally FULL of NO MEAT, and I eat it.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:22,
Reply)
eat it?you lie on your back and beg me to shovel it in
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:23,
Reply)
Last Tango in Peckham(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:26,
Reply)
I've never been to Peckham(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:27,
Reply)
I'm very in touch with my emotions(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:28,
Reply)
\o/Meatza is a good shout. Steak pie for this cow tomorrow then out on Thursday for a meal
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:37,
Reply)
I was going to go to the supermarket and buy real food, but when there's a dominos between my house and the train station it seems silly not to pop in(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:38,
Reply)
You do have your figure to maintain, after all.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:40,
Reply)
I need to put on weight as I am too thin now(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:47,
Reply)
i will allow thisprovided you get the extra thin crust and half fat cheese.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:48,
Reply)
*gets extra thin crust and half fat cheese*(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:53,
Reply)
It appears it is you he beat to it dickhead(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:59,
Reply)
but it's literally FULL of NO MEATBit like swipey during your fumbling's...
YEAH SISTER
(, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:25, Reply)
Fat birds are a great fuck(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:54,
Reply)
Like mopedsA great ride but you don't tell your mates about it.
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Peej, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:22,
Reply)
You're a lot slimmer than my last victim... *cough* boyfriend.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:57,
Reply)
*speak really fast* rapevictimsayswut(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 14:55,
Reply)
So far? No-one has died. I'm not prepared to speculate past that."fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Gretchen?"*
*may backfire with women named Gretchen.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:19,
Reply)
it's more in the nuance of the line, dear boy.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:31,
Reply)
man those must be some depressing concrete rooms(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:29,
Reply)
they are deeply depressing; they are rooms in a unitary authority within Buckinghamshire(, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:31, Reply)
You weren't even the best looking guy in the womb(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:33,
Reply)
I nearly forgot to 'like' it, but don't worry, I have now(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:37,
Reply)
The . is now the chip on my shoulder(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:44,
Reply)
Whatever, it's all coal in the bath innit(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:57,
Reply)
You Mackem we takem I love calling mackems geordies and vice versa it just makes me laugh...
Bit like how I was called a cockney when I move to the barren wastelands up north
(, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:57, Reply)
South of Sheffield = COCKNEY(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 16:02,
Reply)
I gave your missus my Knee length cock last nightErm yeah I will stick with that
(, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 16:05, Reply)
What a ball, Athers.Full, fast, swinging, the batsman's played all round it and the timber is disturbed! Unplayable.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:53,
Reply)
if your balls are full, fast and swinging aroundI very much doubt your timber is "undisturbed".
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 15:54,
Reply)
I've only ever suggested I could beat a bear to death with my penis, on herenever that I could cut a tree down with it.
Mind you....
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 16:30,
Reply)
In other newsBill Roach, I like this mans style, to send a signed photo to your sexual abuse victim after the act...
(Lawyer disclaimer allegedly)
(, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 16:06, Reply)
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