Nothing like a bit of casual racism to get the afternoon going.
As Thursday draws to a close, do you have anything to look forward to this weekend?
Why not? Do you not have any friends? Someone to share life's joys with?

Alt. Workmates. Do you like the people where you work? Any annoying traits? Vent them here.
I sit in the vicinity of one of the most negative people ever. Always moaning about the temperature, the data she works off, smells of people's food. She needs a good kick in the cunt really.

AltAlt. Yo Momma.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:27, 115 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I have ordered a laptop today and sorted out some Lego for the kids
I'm off for a run tonight. This weekend will consist of chiropractors visit, football with calf 2, swimming lessons for both of them, curry and wine. I may also do some non-uphill gardening

Alt:
Our office is cool. We have a right laugh in here, yeah, etc.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:38, Reply)

Read Simon Singh before going to a chiropractor

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:40, Reply)

I've gone for years
It seems to help me
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:41, Reply)

He accused them of being quacks
who make outrageous claims that cannot be backed up, the BCA tried to sue, Judge said claim was justified, they dropped lawsuit.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:48, Reply)

Fair do
All I know is my neck/back pain is helped A LOT by going. I've been in fucking agony before going
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:49, Reply)

just get a nice massage
(happy finish optional)
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:50, Reply)

I'll ask him
Actually, my original chiro was a fucking hot woman
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:51, Reply)

Dont forget to take your homeopathic pills afterwards
:)
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:54, Reply)

The reason arseholery like homeopathy sometimes shows positive results
although, obviously, never in trials - is that you pay to visit a homeopathic doctor. So they can give you more time, listen to your whining, and offer symapthy. For a lot of conditions that works to a degree. But the idiots that take that course don't realise the same effect would be achieved by seeing an actual doctor privately, with the added bonus that he/she would also be able to treat you.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:15, Reply)

Homeopathy is a useful adjunct to 'conventional' medecine which has proven effects on otherwise intractable conditions
No, wait. The other thing.
It's unadulterated horse bollocks and those that believe in it are cretins who should just kill themselves to donate their organs
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:24, Reply)

Yes, yes it is. As in the other thing
But the reasons it "works" are the ones given above.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:26, Reply)

I know someone who had chronic acne, they had pills and steroids and creams. Nothing cleared it.
After a couple of months of homeopathy he looked ten times better, you can't tell me the doctor "talked" his spots away?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:32, Reply)

Dancing skyclad thrice widdershins round a turnip on Tuesday. ay well have shown results.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:38, Reply)

I'm just reporting the facts as I saw them
That course of homeopathy changed his life
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:42, Reply)

My mate's girlfriend's homeopathist comitted suicide
Took a massive underdose.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:44, Reply)

Was that a joke?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:04, Reply)

Keep going,
Just accept that they are simply good masseurs.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:13, Reply)

Aye we do normally. This bitch pisses me off on occasion.,
She's just had three days off for the birth of a grandchild too. You'd think she would be full of the joys
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:41, Reply)

Are you kidding?
She'll be on babysitting duty now
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:43, Reply)

I never knew you could give birth to a grandchild.
Cut out the middle woman ay?
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:43, Reply)

I'm assuming she fucked her son.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:44, Reply)

My brain now hurts
Is she her own auntie now?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:47, Reply)

she's a sick bastard is all I know.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:55, Reply)

I'm declaring war on my garden.
Got some gloves and shears. next is a hand saw.
I have these horrible weed/tree things with purple flowers on that I'm herbiciding before renting a strimmer and doing YM.

Never done anything other than sunbathe in a garden before so that should be fun.

Then Decorating the flat.

and that's my 2014. With a wedding thrown in for good measure.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:44, Reply)

I bought a hand saw a few weeks ago
It could cut diamond. My hands now bear even more scars than before
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:48, Reply)

I found out that years of being a soft office worker
meant that my hands were unsuited to garden work this summer after buying our gaff. Ripped to fucking shreds
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:50, Reply)

If I dont have scabs on my hands at all times, I've not been doing enough DIY/gardening

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:50, Reply)

*makes whip cracky noise*

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:52, Reply)

hands cock
+ YM
DIY/gardening
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:07, Reply)

yeah this is going to be a pain in the arse. I've left it for over a year now.
Once the tree killer has got to work it will be easier mind.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:57, Reply)

What laptop did you go for?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:47, Reply)

HP 250 G1
6Gb RAM, Celeron, 750GB disk, 15.6" screen

£279
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:48, Reply)

Shame about the Celeron.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:50, Reply)

meh
Two core is fine for browsing the internet and using Office
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:51, Reply)

i7 FTW.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:53, Reply)

feed the witch

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:55, Reply)

Yeah, but you use your laptop for work stuff
My work one is an i7
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:55, Reply)

No, you must pay stupid money for the newest and shiniest otherwise you've failed

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:36, Reply)

Had mine two years, will have it for another three.
My computers last longer than my marriage did.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:51, Reply)

So do my farts after a night of curry and guiness

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:28, Reply)

Cool, what resolution is the screen?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 19:00, Reply)

Beers tomorrow night.
Working Saturday & Sunday.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:47, Reply)

I'd actually forgotten about Saturday's curryfest

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:52, Reply)

Yes I do have things to look forward to this weekend.
Alt: The people I work with are friends, not colleagues.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 16:54, Reply)

But they all hate you! You and your fucked toe.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:03, Reply)

There's a bromance bristling here and no mistake

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:24, Reply)

Stop looking for a drama, you stereotypical old queen.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:26, Reply)

OI! Less of the old!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:04, Reply)

Everyone likes me.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:26, Reply)

Really? Weird. I've never had a proper friend from work
But I am epically antisocial
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:35, Reply)

Yeah, but it's only a very small company, we have good fun and choose to socialise together a bit too! Weird innit.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:37, Reply)

My best mate and I met through work, also met my ex wife that way.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:37, Reply)

Does your best mate owe you £53k

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:40, Reply)

Nope. Neither does my ex.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:51, Reply)

what?
I have made loads of my best friends at work.

although one of the cunts has not made me a bridesmaid, despite 6 years of listening to her complain about not being engaged. instead I have to do a SPEECH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am NOT A BEST MAN!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:37, Reply)

Despite your vestidual penis, you are in fact a shit man

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:41, Reply)

i like being a girl

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:41, Reply)

e n a s
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:46, Reply)

que??

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:51, Reply)

Sorry sweetie, you're probably a bit too old for the bridesmaid gig now.
And you need to be married to be a matron of honour.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:41, Reply)

the other bridesmaids are about 5 years older than i am!
feck orf.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:41, Reply)

Fucking hell. Are they going for a world record of oldest wedding party or saink?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:42, Reply)

Is there anyone left here under 30?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:43, Reply)

\o/
Inside leg yeah?
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:43, Reply)

That's a 34 mate

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:45, Reply)

penis length in cm yeah?
no, sorry.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:53, Reply)

AA was here earlier
and poppet pops in
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:51, Reply)

I missed some AA raconteur lessons?! FUCK MY LIFE

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:22, Reply)

have a look on the popular page!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:50, Reply)

Clearly broken.
I posted a couple of corking jokes yesterday.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:51, Reply)

I'm 28

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:29, Reply)

Perhaps she's just scared you'll upstage her on the attractiveness stakes.
Have you noticed her being entirely mental before?

love you really *mwah*
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:45, Reply)

i AM extraordinarily pretty
thanks badge
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:50, Reply)

Drinkies tomorrow evening, we have a baby sitter.
Saturday daughter's off to a 'friend's' b.day party and I have got the short straw. An afternoon of tantrum kids, mess and trifle. And being asked loads of medical shit by the mothers. Sunday, absolutely nothing!
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:01, Reply)

Meh, they might ask you sexy gynae* shit


*I know there is no such thing. Same "flapjack" guy when cornered in the pub after that 6 months was pushed on "surely that was brilliant, 6 months on fannies?" .. to turn on his best haunted 'nam look and point out, rightly, that lovely young attractive fannies rarely turn up in hospital and he had in fact spent 6 months looking at burst badgers and nan's cloppers.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:19, Reply)

On the flip side, when they're all pussey you don't have to bother with foreplay

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:35, Reply)

Spews.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:40, Reply)

spoken like a true gent.
Oh, wait, no. That other thing.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:42, Reply)

Psychochomp?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:42, Reply)

I was thinking baldmonkey.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:44, Reply)

Fat ballbag

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:45, Reply)

Tha kfully the practice nurse does most of the indepth close up work on manky minges.
A lot of women prefer to see the same sex. On the flipside, a lot of blokes prefer to see me, with their diseased genitals, which is always fun...
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:50, Reply)

I went to go and get the balls checked, as you do
Got a young very attractive female locum rather than my usual grumpy ex-army medic bloke.

Oops. It's almost as if I'd checked when he was on holiday.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:54, Reply)

A lot of guys feel uncomfortable with this.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:57, Reply)

I feel uncomfortable when your mum asks me to shit on her chest
But a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:10, Reply)

Coming from someone who's had more tubes go in'n'out of him than a train line, and hasn't gotten any action in about [blah blah], I gotta say man, that's pretty el desperado

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 19:02, Reply)

this place is sooooooooo much more brillianter without his creepy shite

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:50, Reply)

Don't know that one.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:54, Reply)

Good god, do not her started!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:01, Reply)

too late

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:02, Reply)

This weekend will be awesome - as usual.
There will be some nice food (courtesy of my new-found love of all things slow cookerish), good company, music and alcohol with friends.
Alt: I get on famously with my colleagues as one should in a sales team.
Altalt: Still dead
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:01, Reply)

I wouldn't mind having a quiet weekend just pottering about.
alt: Not really, but there's only a couple who I actively dislike. Most of them fall in to the ambivalent category.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 17:06, Reply)

I love a good potter.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:00, Reply)

er ing
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:02, Reply)

shouldn't that be 'botting'?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:04, Reply)

I just saw a bloke wearing Uggs.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:02, Reply)

Was it you?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:03, Reply)

No.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:04, Reply)

Yeah I suppose the chlorinated water would ruin the suede

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:22, Reply)

:(
Was he Oriental?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:05, Reply)

no. fat.
Fatter than you, so 'obese'.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:06, Reply)

Morbidly?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:21, Reply)

I'm not fat.
You pierced skate-life crisis!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:27, Reply)

I thought you had that chubby gay thing going on?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:28, Reply)

he's a classic 'fat poof' innit

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:34, Reply)

I'm not thin. But I'm certainly not fat.
I still wear a medium top thanks.

and no, it's not busting at the seams.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:40, Reply)

^ fat poof ^

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:45, Reply)

Hilarious.
I bet you're the funniest kid at the half-pipe.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:49, Reply)

I bet you're the fattest poof down the sauna

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:53, Reply)

I would never go to one of those disease-ridden haunts.
I'm a respectable gay!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:55, Reply)

Melvin and Kim's less successful. ....

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 19:00, Reply)

there is nothing respectable about sodomising other men

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 19:00, Reply)

damn good fun though

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 19:01, Reply)

I didn't choose the ugg life, the ugg life chose me

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:23, Reply)

Ha!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 18:24, Reply)