Happy Monday everyone
Are you a bound out of bed and face the week ahead type? Or do you get depressed about Monday from halfway through Sunday?

Alt: so Rory has fecked off to France this week to annoy some Russians with his inept skiing. Whom will you be annoying this week and how?

Altalt: who is the best person you know?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 7:59, 71 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Whoa

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:05, Reply)

Well this is rude
It's almost like you don't care about my tyre woes
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:06, Reply)

Oh I see, stomp my thread then fuck off
How rude
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:08, Reply)

I was just thinking of a really witty comeback

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:09, Reply)

I don't need to hear about your mucky weekend away with frog
How's things this fine sunny morning?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:12, Reply)

Feeling fat after a weekend away, got to run tonight
Frog is coming over then, doubtless he will laugh at me being all pink and sweaty.

Where's that baby???
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:20, Reply)

Stuck inside my wife
Got a couple of weeks left technically, first mini ape would be a week old by now
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:21, Reply)

I grudgingly face the week ahwad
Alt: off topic

Alt alt: localboy
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:12, Reply)

Enjoying your new job then?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:14, Reply)

yes thanks
Mainly working on UCIS complaints. The Ombudsman is a fucking inept tosser who lacks basic understanding of investment principles.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:17, Reply)

as are solicitors who don't understand very simple time barring rules and risk profiling

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:18, Reply)

Right, so everyone else is wrong and you are right?
Interesting.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:20, Reply)

there is a three year window to complain, from when the complainant ought to reasonably known they had cause
Complaining when the value has dropped by 90% when it had dropped 95% three and a half years ago means it's too late.

Some people just get all teary eyed about it xx
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:24, Reply)

Sounds great...
Did you get the sunshine over the weekend up in the blasted north?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:18, Reply)

why yes, yes we did

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:19, Reply)

It was awesome, I got to sit in my garden

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:20, Reply)

Mondays are OK, I don't worry about them at all.
Alt: The people of the lake district as I will be making two business trips up that way this week.
Altalt: My G/F
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:17, Reply)

I've been training myself to be a Morning Person, always wanted to be one.
Got up at 5:30 today, natrally, did a SSS with my awesome new bathroom, took some tablets, had some lucky charms and went through my emails and code.

Being a morning person rawks, i'm not there yet, but I will be.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:18, Reply)

SSS? Super sonic shit?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:21, Reply)

Shit Shower Shave

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:22, Reply)

Train lols

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:22, Reply)

Don't you hate it when you have a bit of a cold, then You're in public and cough, naturally covering your mouth
Buy OH NO, you've coughed up a big lump of phlegm into your hand! You don't have a tissue! What do you do? Wipe it? Flick it? No someone would see...so you quietly raise your hand back to your mouth...and eat it.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:24, Reply)

And delicious it is too.
Re the tyres, unless you want the hit of buying 4 at once think you'll be better just getting 2 new fronts and keep the winters on the back, accept they'll wear out quicker than normal though as they're softer compound.
Depends if car is front or rear drive and if you have a heavy right foot though.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:50, Reply)

Front drive, heavy foot

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:57, Reply)

If you rotated your tyres on a regular basis,
You wouldn't have this problem.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:12, Reply)

Surely tyres rotate whenever the car moves?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:13, Reply)

Well, you're right in one sense,
But also an idiot.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:15, Reply)

Or just being irritatingly facetious
Lot of modern tyres are unidirectional so can only be swapped front/rear anyway on same side.
Advice I've seen is to put new pair on rear so any problems with the old ones result in understeer rather than oversteer, but for me on a front drive car I'd rather have the best tyres on the wheels doing 80+% of the work, ie the front.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:27, Reply)

This is possibly your dullest post ever
Well done
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:29, Reply)

Youn must be dull to expect excitement from a tyre subthread.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:34, Reply)

oh god, no car chat
car chat is maybe the worst of all teh chats
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:35, Reply)

It's not often that you are right, but you are spot on here.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:38, Reply)

The very never owned a modern car,
I didn't know this.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:30, Reply)

Dear Winders
As surprising as it may seem, you can put modern tyres onto old cars.
HTHs
Bonz
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:52, Reply)

surely it's better just to get 4 new tyres, or not drive it until you can?
he's got v young apes in the car, why risk it skidding?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:32, Reply)

you're assuming they're threadbare
if you don't do high speeds then legal is fine, if you do motorway/fast A road legal limit may not be enough in rain and better replace at 3mm left rather than 1.6
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:38, Reply)

Morning
I was pretty good this morning, managed to shower, get breakfast and some Vimto before leaving the house.

Alt: Hopefully no-one, but I doubt that'll ever be the case.

AltAlt: Sportscow.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:29, Reply)

Vimto? In the morning?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:30, Reply)

He's only twelve

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:41, Reply)

\o/

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:40, Reply)

The Happy Mondays have been booked to headline this year's Godiva Festival here in the cultural centre that is Cov
I suspect this will attract a most unsavoury crowd.

I neither bound out of bed, nor do I get depressed about a day of the week.

Alt: I'll have a go at annoying some of you. My wife and kids will no doubt get annoyed with me over the course of the week, I'm such an unbearable prick.

Altalt: Best in what sense?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:44, Reply)

best looking

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:48, Reply)

I only know ugly people

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:58, Reply)

Poor mrs tangles, thick and ugly

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:03, Reply)

and married to a prick

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:26, Reply)

Good morning.
We had an ace weekend, and this week is looking ok. As you were.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:51, Reply)

This is the best news I've heard all day.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:05, Reply)

I'm so glad :)

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:06, Reply)

Depends. Am having a bit of a shit time at work - am having to decide whether to get all zen about it, or look for something else.
Either way, I've used up my moaning credits.

Alt: I will mostly be annoying the self-important people at work who don't know how to do things properly.

^ jobsworth

Altalt: got to be Mrs Vagabond, innit. And my dad. And my mate Little Mikey. And my mate Keith. Quite a few of Mrs V's mates, too, and our collective shared friends.

And Hitler.

Altaltalt: usual wrap - a luncheon surprise, made for me by Mrs V last night.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:57, Reply)

Mondays are fine,
Fuck Wednesday I can't stand.

Alt: I will annoy countless customers I imagine, working in an office block all week so upsetting office types with noise.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Mar 2014, 8:58, Reply)

Do you miss your pub?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:01, Reply)

A bit.
I miss the social aspects of it, but I'm happier and healthier and my relationship is better and I see my family more than once a year.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:05, Reply)

I've alway fancied running a pub.
I can imagine myself in the mein host role.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:07, Reply)

Yeah, it's not like that and you'd be broke and drunk within a year

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:20, Reply)

so come on
where has this missing plane gone??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:24, Reply)

Under the South China Sea

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:25, Reply)

YEAH BUT WHY?
did it get nicked and crashed by these people with stolen passports and were they terrorists?

or were they just petty thieves looking to get out and picked the wrong plane, as something, probably pilot error like the air france one, took them down with it?

EH?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:30, Reply)

I dunno, I still find it difficult to believe that planes can fly at all

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:34, Reply)

it's not like they're bumble bees

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:35, Reply)

Oh, I'm sure they can fly
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bumblebee#Misconceptions
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:39, Reply)

I like that they can detach their flight muscles
to rev the engine
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:55, Reply)

This is genuinely a puzzle.
If a bomb had gone off it would explain the sudden loss of contact, but there would be surface debris scattered far and wide.

However, if there had been engine failure etc the crew would have had a chance to get a mayday out - but this didn't happen either.

I'm thinking aliens.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:56, Reply)

Small bomb in the cockpit
Flight controls fucked, comms fucked, nobody flying the plane. Not much debris from that!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 10:33, Reply)

The US Navy reckon they can find debris the size of a basketball
Are you telling me that a plane falling out of the sky and hitting the water created no debris?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 10 Mar 2014, 11:29, Reply)

There may not be much that floats

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 11:33, Reply)

North Korean missile test

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 10:34, Reply)

Good morning all
I am normally OK in the morning, better once I've had coffee. I'm at work today for a rest as I've been beasting it all weekend in the garden, the garage and the loft

Alt:
I'll most likely annoy many customers and probably no-one on here

AltAlt:
My mate Paul Daniels. Been through leukemia twice and yet still is always happy
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:43, Reply)

Perhaps they should prescribe leukemia to depressed people

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:45, Reply)

Seems like a good idea
Nothing like a good old dose of blood cancer to cheer you up
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:52, Reply)

I bet he nevers tires of
Not a Lot jokes
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 9:54, Reply)

I find it such a shame his Mrs is called Denise, not Debbie

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 10:16, Reply)