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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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My site is closing in JanuaryThere's going to be an "individual consultation period" in which the options of relocation (nearest site: Newark, the only town in Britain to be an anagram of wanker with a population to match, also a fair trot from Norwich), working from home or redundancy.
Somehow I doubt I'm top of their "keep at all costs" list.
Anyone want a blowjob? £100 a pop.
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 15:47, 147 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
OuchFucking hell. Would it be possible to work from home or are you going to take redundancy and fuck off to somewhere new?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 May 2014, 15:48,
Reply)
I bet he's still got his car allowance though. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 7 May 2014, 15:55,
Reply)
I seriously doubt that medhead muggins here is to be trusted with WFHIf redundancy is offered I'll tear their arm off
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 15:55, Reply)
How many years have you worked there?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 7 May 2014, 15:57,
Reply)
Statutory is only one week's pay for each year you've worked there.However whatever you get is tax free up to £30k in redundancy pay.
So you'd better hope they're happy to pay out more than statutory.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:02,
Reply)
Hang onA month's salary after four years? That's basically gardening leave
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:03, Reply)
Also, you might not be entitled to anything if they've offered to transfer youhttp:// www.gov.uk/redundant-your-rights/redundancy-pay
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:06,
Reply)
This was raised at the "session"Basically, if they say "we want to relocate you, Newark's only a 200 mile round trip" and we tell them to get bent, can we then opt for redundancy?
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:14, Reply)
you should be holding out for cash for an initial consultation with an employment lawyerthey will be able to tell you whether it's a fair deal or not
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:19,
Reply)
I think he's entitled to up to £200 to have their proposal reviewed. I think. I haven't made anyone redundant since last September.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:25,
Reply)
Newark is so easy to get to from Norwich tooNo, wait, the other one. Getting into or out of East Anglia is a fucking nightmare
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:19,
Reply)
If that sort of commute is unreasonable then you would qualify for redundancy. (, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:19, Reply)
Quick google says two and a half hours drive and three and a half hours train(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:21,
Reply)
The work from home option could disqualify him though. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:23,
Reply)
I'm sure his employers have already worked out who they wish to keep, who they wish to pay off and who they wish to fuck off(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:25,
Reply)
ExactlyI somehow doubt that someone who had a work-induced nervous breakdown last year and spent 7 months off is top of their list
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:29, Reply)
Depends on if an employment trib' would consider 200 miles too far or not. They probably would, but the option to work from home would mean they wouldn't have to pay out if you rejected it.I think. Seek proper legal advice.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:20,
Reply)
Genuinely appreciate the input everyone, thank you :-)My feeling is that they'll know that relocating a hundred odd people with that sort of commute is unfeasible. I just imagine they have a "keep" list because there are plenty of people in this building who are valuable to the company, and I'm bound to be right at the fucking bottom of it
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:25, Reply)
Its not very good is it?I've just worked mine out and although its tax free it ain't much to be going on with
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:04,
Reply)
Pro tip:Don't get made redundant
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:09,
Reply)
Could you work from home? I'd love to work from home.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 7 May 2014, 15:49,
Reply)
Working from home is good for occasional times, but I'd hate to do it permanently(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 May 2014, 15:50,
Reply)
I would be quite happy not having to bother getting dressed.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 7 May 2014, 15:52,
Reply)
A friend of mine works for Panasonic. 5 days a week from home. I don't know how he does it. I'd do no work at all.
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 15:54, Reply)
Working from home would be brilliant, except I wouldn't really do much work(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 7 May 2014, 15:50,
Reply)
There are four houses between mine and the local.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 7 May 2014, 15:53,
Reply)
I reckon I'd drink, smoke and wank more(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 7 May 2014, 15:52,
Reply)
My productivity is shit enough when I only have you lot to distract meThrow in an Xbox and some porn...
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 15:56, Reply)
That'd be a nice sweetener in a redundancy package(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 7 May 2014, 15:58,
Reply)
it's tough to stay motivatedsays the man who has just got home seen a 100 emails from this morning and chosen B3ta instead
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 May 2014, 15:59,
Reply)
I genuinely think I'd be fine with it as I work on my own most of the time anyway (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:00,
Reply)
yer...days and days I find*wanders off to raid the fridge AGAIN*
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:01,
Reply)
You realise that by the terms of our agreement I have to text Ms Foxtrot and tell her she lost the gameYou might not be afraid of me...
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 15:59, Reply)
No thanks the gentleman outside Monty's old flat is far cheaper and has less teeth.(
Peej, Wed 7 May 2014, 15:52,
Reply)
Working from home is ok, it can get a bit boring sometimes.At least you could take that option whilst you look for another job.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 7 May 2014, 15:54,
Reply)
Well yeah I won't be throwing the proverbial baby out with the bathwaterBut I honestly hope they offer me redundancy. I don't want this job but am not in a great state to be prostituting myself for another one. The timing is the only problem, I could really do without the extra stress
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 15:57, Reply)
course you are! you are a WONDERFUL BENT SWAN!(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:00,
Reply)
Depends - does the price include me getting to kick your teeth out first?(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 7 May 2014, 15:56,
Reply)
Pffft.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:08,
Reply)
And I'd enjoy itI'd get a sufficient boner to skull-fuck your comatose cunt head with.
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:13, Reply)
I assure you I am both very, very impressed, and very, very frightened.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:39,
Reply)
Well, these things happen, Might be an opportunity to go on to bigger and better things!
Or you'll be in the dole house by August.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 May 2014, 16:08,
Reply)
Those southern rates are much better.Mind the cost of living is more down there.
Chin up pet. What field of work are you in? How is the market?
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:09,
Reply)
b3ta.com/search/answers?q=martin+32+telecommunications
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:10,
Reply)
Ah I'll be reet mateI don't actually like the job, it just pays well for what it is. Maybe I'll actually find a job I like, I've heard some people manage that.
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:10, Reply)
I do sweet FA at mine and get paid well.Im about to start the dialler manager thing though so will be at stress factor 10.
Good news for you lot, I might be on here less.
Your job takes up most of your time. You can't keep doing one that makes you do a sad. It's not worth it.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:15,
Reply)
This is very trueThank you mate. I just have no idea what I want to do and I'm not actually any good at anything except dancing and flirting
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:21, Reply)
Become a dance instructor for retired ladies.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:22,
Reply)
start a dance club for old ladiesthen you work for yourself
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:23,
Reply)
Haha yeahYou might as well suggest Liam Gallagher become a musician
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:31, Reply)
boring jobs are life drainingtake chances and do fun things
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:22,
Reply)
Sorry to hear that mate.I've been working from home for the last 18 months or so and I heartily recommend it.
Maybe worth taking the option while you find something else? 4 weeks redundancy is fuck all.
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:10, Reply)
I'll be looking tonight mate believe meJust having a bit of a wobble. Not that I really wanted to come back at all but SSP forced my hand. Might have placed a bit too much on the idea of stability that a job and its routine presents, to have that taken away now is a bit of a suckerpunch.
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:12, Reply)
There's never a good time for that kind of news, but the timing of this is pretty shit.(, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:15, Reply)
I wank on de feet all the time, mon(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:22,
Reply)
Vegan barbecue and picnic update.Not too grim, although my daughter Didn't understand the vegan bit and continually requested sausages.Good girl.
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:26, Reply)
what are they bbq-ing?Carrots?
Veg kebabs?
They make me sick.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:29,
Reply)
Veggie kebabs are only made nice by the presence of HalloumiWhich they deny themselves because they're wrong and stupid.
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:31, Reply)
haloumi is fucking awesometesco do one with flecks of chilli in it. om nom nom.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:32,
Reply)
Yes they fucking doMs Foxtrot hates spicy food, I take great delight in buying it for myself
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:35, Reply)
I love Mexicana cbeese. Oh boy do I love it.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:44,
Reply)
Bring Quorn sausagesThey're not Vegan but pretend you didn't understand that there was a difference between veggie and full headwrong. They love that.
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:30, Reply)
what on earth do vegans bbq?linda mccartney crap sausages and bits of rubber instead of haloumi? heathens.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:31,
Reply)
Loudly say to her 'DON'T WORRY DARLING I'LL BUY YOU A NICE BIG JUICY BURGER ON THE WAY HOME, YOU CAN HAVE SOME KEBAB MEAT ON IT AS A SPECIAL TREAT'.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:31,
Reply)
A mate of mine replaced his brothers quorn burgers with beefburgers. He didn't notice. Maybe you could do the same?
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Muns, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:37,
Reply)
What are her reasons for veganism? Asides from attention seeking? Most of the time they're fucking ridiculous anyway.
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Muns, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:41,
Reply)
For fucks sake. Tell her that it's the reason we cut the faces off!
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Muns, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:45,
Reply)
Half bled. I like it when you can see the fear in its eyes as the realisation of what is happening dawns on it.
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:49, Reply)
Try sucking the eyeball out of the socket, so it can watch its own lips being gnawed off. Absolutely wonderful.
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Muns, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:53,
Reply)
Are you fucking kidding?Those must have been some fucking shit beefburgers
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:40, Reply)
Yeah, Co-op own brand. We got the munchies after a night on the piss, and raided his food, forgetting he was a non-meat eating food-wrong.
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Muns, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:43,
Reply)
MARTIN 38 UNEMPLOYED TELECOMMUNICATIONS ANALYST FROM NORWICH(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:36,
Reply)
I mean this with all the respect that we all agree is due to youBut please do FUCKING FUCK OFF
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:40, Reply)
I suppose I shouldn't say something about 'you are the weakest link in the office. Goodbye'.So I won't.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:41,
Reply)
I've got two whole days work this week and a one hour telephone consultancy to do for a company in China.That one hour = £300.00
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:43,
Reply)
I'm more bored than anything else. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:45,
Reply)
I imagine you are. I just sat around smoking dope when I was out of work.
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:45, Reply)
I've got some rather nice Thai at the moment. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:46,
Reply)
-40% income tax- 10% NI
- Maintenance
=
£3.45
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:46,
Reply)
Nah, I get enough for a couple of pints and a go on YM. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:46,
Reply)
Plus, I get paid via Cyprus, so I only pay 8% income tax(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:47,
Reply)
worse tahn Jimmy Carr^you are literally stealing food from children's mouths and medicines from their hospitals
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:55,
Reply)
i dunno how she keeps justifying these above inflation price rises(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:55,
Reply)
It's closing in January Oh no only 7 fucking months to find another job. Come on man in that time you can just abuse your curren comps internet hunting round etc.
(, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:42, Reply)
You are entitled to use all that stuff once consultation starts anyway. (, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:43, Reply)
Officially up to 40% of your standard contracted hours. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 7 May 2014, 16:44,
Reply)
THE WORLS NEEDS TELECOMMUNICATION ANALYSTS(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 May 2014, 17:00,
Reply)
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