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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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Is it Friday yet? :(

(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 8:00, 414 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yes, I believe it is...
Oh, no...wait.

*checks calendar*

Buggeration.

Morning, lustful one.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 8:16, Reply)

Good morning :)
I'm so ready for the weekend. I've actually had real proper work to do this week. Lord knows what they're playing at! It's been a bit of a shock to the system.

You ok today?
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 8:19, Reply)

Yes, me too
I've actually been in the lab this week, with my white coat and all. I actually quite enjoy that, and if I could get over my b3ta addiction I'd enjoy it more.

But I now get irritated when my boss starts talking because I'm missing the chat thread, and when I'm in the lab I'm always needing to get back to the office to sit at my computer.

"Hi, my name's K2k6, and I'm a b3taholic..."
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 8:22, Reply)

The temp yesterday asked me
What website I was on and why I was typing so much. I moved my screen out of her eyeline and lied and said I was writing a report up.
Then I pretended to look through notes etc and kept glancing at them to make it look like I was actually doing work instead of pissing about on here.
I think I need help.
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 8:27, Reply)

I was convinced it was Friday while I was asleep
had another b3ta dream too. not looking good.

they seem to have had the same theme of me trying to get to a party (of b3tards) and having strange things happen on the way. then getting to the party and it being strange.

I need to stop looking at photos of bashes then people won't be in my dreams.

This one had me and Pooflake performing the Green Day song Dominated Love Slave....

then a couple of my friends and I got arrested on drugs charges but blagged our way out of it with only a token loss from our stash.

it's left me weary

how are you all? (or you two perhaps)
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 8:30, Reply)

I keep
Powerpoint open with some sort of presentation up, so I can quickly Cmd-Tab to switch programs. My boss doesn't say anything, but I know he has his suspicions!

Not that it matters. He's a decent sort and so long as I get my work done he doesn't give a stuff about what else I get up to, so long as it's legal.

Edit - Morning Vipros.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 8:31, Reply)

Morning vipros
I had my first b3ta dream the other night. It wasn't anything rude though!
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 8:42, Reply)

Morning all!
In a similar vein to everyone else, so long as my work is done and to a decent standard, they don't mind what you go on.

I get dreams where I'm playing Call of Duty 4 in my head :( They're very odd.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 8:42, Reply)

Wouldn't it be good
if we could have a sort of collective consciousness b3tadream?

It would save money travelling to bashes, and would mean that we could do lots of stuff which we wouldn't do (or wouldn't have the nerve to try!) in the real world.

And good morning, himjim.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 8:46, Reply)

K2k6
I'm sure there was a cartoon where a group of kids did that. They'd all meet up in there dreams and one of them had a dog that could talk, but only in the dream world. Does anyone else remember that? I can't remember what it was called.

Edit: Yes I can! It was called Potsworth and Co.
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 8:49, Reply)

morning all
I hope you are all feeling splendid today. I am yet to decide whether today is going to be a chipper day or a rubbish one.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 8:51, Reply)

Gooooooooooood Morning
*hugs for all*

I don't do any work. Damn you B3ta! And my boss isn't in today *grins*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 8:53, Reply)

Nings all
Can't be arsed with work today but has to be done. I'm not sure my boss realises quite how much of my day I spend wasting time. Wouldn't surprise me if he has his suspicions though.
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 8:55, Reply)

Potsworth & Co
Can't say I remember that but I'll have a google for it later.

Your sig isn't very flattering, wanderlust, except to paedos.

Hello, recent arrivers.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 8:59, Reply)

I remember Potsworth and co.
Good show!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:03, Reply)

I shall hereby declare
the Leamington Spa Mini-bash a complete and utter success. Awkward introductions were made then much beer was imbibed. I can confirm that TGB is a real, official woman person :D
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:04, Reply)

'ning all!
Yo!...How's it hanging with the homies?...kickin' it in the house...WORD! and so forth...

*feels all 'hip' and 'in-with-the-kids'*

Hmmm so Vipros...you dream about me eh...?

*raises eyebrow*

Edit: Leamington bash? - When was this? I soooo would have gone to that! *frowns* Let me know when the next one is.
(

Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:04, Reply)

K2k6
better?
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:06, Reply)

I was quite drunk by the time I met you!
Awkward no... "Hi I'm that random person off the internet" is never awkward :p

Aww Pooflake it was fairly impromptu! Just went to the pound a pint night :) Be cool to meet you though shall I get my people to call your people and sort out diaries?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:07, Reply)

not only do I dream about you Pooflake
but about us performing a duet of a song about S&M....
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:09, Reply)

Gud moaning!
Two and a half weeks till my week off....and counting.

I skimmed last night's thread and missed the booby jiggling again. Bugger!
(

girlinthehole, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:10, Reply)

Sorry Mr Flake
It was fairly impromptu! We were discussing having a Leamington Bash with more people and organisation in the future. We thought of at least two other b3tans from Cov/Leam area (FoldsFive and Bluestar).
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:11, Reply)

@TGB...

Unfortunately I don't have any 'people'...but I have an army of 'oompa lumpa' like folk who do my bidding in matters of global domination whislt satisfying my bizarre sexual whims...

But when they're not doing that, they also look after my Outlook calendar...so yeah - give 'em a call

Edit: @himjim...I hope you're not forgetting the illustrious, industrious Captain Placid. He'd be there like a shot...just try stopping him! - (I tried once - it wasn't pretty...I still walk with a slight limp)

@BGB - Boobie Jiggling? Where? TO THE FLAKEMOBILE!
(

Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:12, Reply)

@Wanderlust
Er, yes, OK. :)

@BGB et al - feel free to jiggle at will...
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:12, Reply)

*jiggles*
Oh, you didn't mean me did you?

*pulls up trousers*
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:14, Reply)

@K2K6
I thought you'd never ask.

*jiggles*

*jiggles some more*

Edit - Captain V - pull them trousers back down and jiggle for me : )
(

girlinthehole, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:14, Reply)

*watches*
*splurges*

to my lasting regret, jiggling is not for me any more...it lost all it's glamour when I started doing it all the time...unintentionally.

:(
(

Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:15, Reply)

K2k6
Or???
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:16, Reply)

Can I jiggle later?
I have a teeeeeeny hangover.

Pooflake when is good for you? My diary is empty *cries*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:17, Reply)

*removes trousers*
*jiggles*
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:17, Reply)

Morning all
So we got Mr Bin's computer back last night.

And the fucker still doesn't work, so I'm going to have to phone them.

How do those of you who work manage to spend so much time here?
I can't keep up with you and I'm dole scum who sits around in my pants watching Jeremy Kyle all day.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:17, Reply)

@TGB...

I'm easy...(yes, the rumours are true)

Don't forget to wear something ~~slutty~~ feminine to dispell the myths once and for all...

*rubs thighs*
(

Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:20, Reply)

@Mrs Bin
We ~~work~~ sit and play in front of a computer all the time.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:20, Reply)

Mrs Liveinabin
I can multitask like a Octopic power business lady.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:21, Reply)

hmmurumph.
Mooornin

Ergh.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:21, Reply)

@lusty
That's more like it!

I like all this jiggling. Keeps me alert.

@Mrs L - it's because we're at work, but not actually working. And so we all sit at our desks pretending to work. Whereas you have the distraction of daytime telly. And the fact that you're in your pants...
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:23, Reply)

@ Mrs Liab...

What kind of pants...?

I'm asking only in the interest of research...

*imagines*

and I'm in a inexplicably frisky mood today...which is also a minor miracle considering my current 'level 7 hangover' status
(

Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:24, Reply)

This is true
the distractions of Jezza are great.

You know, it's like when the Victorians used to pay tuppence to watch the idiots in bedlam.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:26, Reply)

Pooflake
Maybe that's why you're frisky?
In my own humble experience, men who have drunk a skinful the night before are much more likely to wake up with their very own personal joystick.
Just a suggestion!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:28, Reply)

Pooflake
I'll do my best...

How about next Wednesday for the pound a pint goodness! I am a b3tan on a budget
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:29, Reply)

This is possibly TMI
but I wake up every morning in life with my own personal joystick (as LvP would put it).

It happens on aeroplanes too, on the rare occasions I manage to get some kip. Which is why I always have a blanket over myself when trying to sleep.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:32, Reply)

Never TMI
I know that most men do, but (and here I may well be providing you with a little too much of my lovely other halfs personal details) when he's been drinking, Mr VP is much more insistent on morning sex.
Normally it takes him hours to wake up unless he's been drinking. Sometimes after drinking, he wakes me up, has his wicked way then goes back to sleep.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:34, Reply)

LVP
I can relate to that very much except for having my wicked way with you before going back to sleep. As far as I'm aware that has not happened.
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:35, Reply)

This is a pubic information announcement on behalf of all the B3tans who are feeling very randy.
Can we not talk about sex in any form at all today.

Is this feasable?
(

girlinthehole, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:35, Reply)

LvP
Sounds a good plan.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:35, Reply)

@TGB...

Wednesdays...erm...in fact weekdays in general are pretty sucky for me. I'll see what I can do.

@LVP - I don't know what was going on with my 'joystick' this morning, but something sure made me want to activate the 'rapid fire' function...

Edit: @BGB - do you mean hot, sticky, sweaty, noisy, rampant, lovely, sweet, shoulder-biting, thrunging sex...?

oh you do?...well I won't talk about that then...

:)
(

Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:36, Reply)

BGB - sorry
Captain V - Not that I'm aware of either :s

Edit - ha. I'm loving the widespread use of the phrase "joystick" today. I'm not allowed to call it that on account of I may have once pretended that Mr VPs nether regions were in fact, a joystick.
complete with sound effects.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:36, Reply)

@BGB
I'm not sure how feasible that is but I'm kinda with you on the "not really wanting to talk about sexehtime" at the moment.

:edit: @LVP I think it's probably safe to say that it hasn't happened then. Would have to have been one insane bender if it had...
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:37, Reply)

Pooflake
Is the "Turbo" button stuck?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:37, Reply)

What Captain V said
Hands up all those of us who have had our way with LvP of a morning.

*notes absence of hands*

See. That's not normal at all!

@BGB - not a bloody chance! Sex FTW.

*lowers tone*

a bit moist this morning, are we?
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:38, Reply)

@LVP
That's fantesticle!
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:39, Reply)

Mornin'
Mrs Bin, The answer to that is easy.
I'm so damn clever that my job takes me, at most, a couple of hours a day.

And I can multi-task.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:40, Reply)

I don't know about just drinking
I regularly wake up with a raging stonk on.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:40, Reply)

@ Ethel...

My 'Turbo button' snapped off in the mid 90's I'm afraid.

nowadays I can only frantcally waggle it backwards and forwards like you had to do on the old athletics games.

Daley Thompson Decathlon FTW!
(

Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:41, Reply)

@K2K6
I'm wetter than a British Summer : (
(

girlinthehole, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:42, Reply)

Cap'n V
I thought so. It made me laugh anyway. I don't have bits that look like joysticks so it amused me. And he's always doing comedy noises with my boobs and jiggling them or honking them.
How come I can't play?
However I got a stern look and was told not to do that again.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:42, Reply)

Pooflake
Lets hope you don't fall at the first hurdle, eh? ;)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:43, Reply)

Right then
I must proceed to my laboratory.

With luck my white lab coat will hide any protuberances...

Edit@BGB - are you sitting over a bucket to catch the drips? :)
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:44, Reply)

@ LvP
You're welcome to use mine, but only if you play Pacman.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:52, Reply)

Morning Folks
I'm of a similar randy mood.
Lady K just sent me a fairly explicit text so I'm hiding behind my desk for the time being.
(

Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:53, Reply)

B3ta orgy anyone?
Nopes?

I'll just carry on on my own then.
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:56, Reply)

Ethelred
Thanks for the offer but
A)I'm rubbish at Pacman and
B)I think I'll stick with Mr VPs. He has to learn to let me play every now and again.

It's like day of the randy b3tans today isn't it?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:57, Reply)

Lusty
If there ever was one, nows the time as everyone is in the mood today it seems!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:57, Reply)

It seems to be.
I'm pawing the ground like a rampant bull here.
I do get to see her tomorrow though so, *Moooo!*

*edit* Wheelbarrow races anyone?
(

Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:59, Reply)

I'll just create the video evidence
Not really in the mood for sexehtime. Something is obviously very wrong.
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:59, Reply)

Nowt wrong with randy action...

If this carries on I'm going to have to 'spread the lurve' somewhere...
(

Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 9:59, Reply)

Singin' Potsworth...
And com-pa-ny, that's adventure, for you and me!

Good morning everyone! I hope the rain hasn't made it where you are yet (it's looking quite grey here!)
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:00, Reply)

Capn V
We all get those periods of embaressment around beautiful people.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:00, Reply)

Hmmm...
I think I'm broken too.
I have absolutely no sexual motivation today.

EDIT: Happy b3taday Mr. Devil!
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:00, Reply)

Happy B3taday DiT!!!

Woo!

Yay!

Woo, and quite indubitably yay in fact!
(

Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:01, Reply)

Poof
What about this or next weekend then?

(sorry delayed reply I had to do work! Shocking I know)

Edit: Happy B3taday DiT! I got you a cake but I ate it. Nom nom nom
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:01, Reply)

Nooo!
Don't do it this weekend! I am catering for a party!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:03, Reply)

^^Looks like...

Next weekend it is then!
(

Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:03, Reply)

I feel old
with all these younguns B3tadays
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:04, Reply)

The day of the randy b3tans
would be a good title for a low budget ~~horror~~feelgood movie.

I'm back, by the way, because we've had a power failure in the lab and I can't do much.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:04, Reply)

@K2k6
Would your pendulous scrotum be making an appearance in this film?

*edit* and Happy B3taday to DiT.
(

Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:05, Reply)

Ooh getting to meet Pooflake and Captain Placid
How exciting! (I am actually quite excited!)
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:06, Reply)

Happy b3taday Dit
@Ethelred I wish that were the reason. Ah well. I'll find my horn again soon enough I hope.
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:06, Reply)

@BK
My scrotum may or may not be pendulous, depending on temperature and other factors.

Happy b3taday, DiT!
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:07, Reply)

@TGB...

Well, everybody else has had their (already low) expectations disappointed by finally meeting us...you may as well join the club...
(

Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:07, Reply)

Poof
Meating you was a fleshy pleasure.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:10, Reply)

Awwww

right back atcha baby!

hang on...'fleshy pleasure'?...by that do you mean I was the fleshy part and CP was the pleasure?
(

Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:14, Reply)

Thank you, everyone...
For your messages on this, my second B3taday...

Now, I've prepared a little speech - settle down at the back there! - the first chapter of which is entitled 'Bastards':

People that start posting 'last'. Show them the naughty step. It's boring. Please make it stop. This is my wish for my third year of B3ta'ing.

/Talkers who constantly say how much they hate QOTW, and yet can't stop themselves from posting on it with something that they imagine to be devastatingly witty and devisive. They also claim that nothing here is humorous - just when did they become the guardians of wit on the internet? (I hasten to add, it's not all of /talk. Just a select band of socially inept gits.)

Thus concludes chapter one! :)

(Bonus points if you get the telly reference!)
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:14, Reply)

Buy me a beer pooflake
And you will exceed all expectations :p

A way to a badgers heart is through cider :)

Oh and: Hear! Hear! DiT!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:15, Reply)

Blimey
Mr VP has just emailed me to say he's considering applying for a job in Bristol.
:S
I know I haven't found anything in London yet but the idea of going to Bristol? I don't know what to think of that really.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:19, Reply)

Happy birfday DiT.
You don't look a day over 1.

@LvP - shouldn't he be discussing that with you first?
(

girlinthehole, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:22, Reply)

morning all
happy b3taday DiT!

@k2k6 - I skim-read all of the above and alas, the post that caught my eye was the one about your pendulous scrotum. lovely.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:22, Reply)

Well it's near Cardiff
But that's the only redeeming feature I've ever been able to come up with. Hated the place from the moment I first got there for some reason. Never had the inclination to find things about it that'd make me feel differently either.

/is stubborn
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:24, Reply)

BGB
I think the email was a warning that it will be discussed this weekend. I know he wouldn't consider leaving London if I were there, the fact we're apart a lot is making things difficult.
Oh bloody hell, someone hurry up and employ me!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:25, Reply)

Good morning b3tans
and happy b3taday El Diabolo in Tights.

To re-cap, I'm still waiting for a response from my third company. They e-mailed me yesterday to say they couldn't contact my second reference on my CV. At least if they're contacting references, I must have done something good. They also told me they successfully got a reply from my first reference.

Meanwhile, I did not have time to write the story I wanted to write for this QOTW, so instead, here's a sub-plot of the story, and here's a similar story.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:25, Reply)

Cap'n V
I hate Bristol too. We are both from a town near to it and I've never liked it. If we're going to move anywhere, Cardiff would be better as I went to uni there and have friends and know my way around.
I think he's just having a bad day and sulking a bit.
I hope so.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:27, Reply)

Because I only have one interview-result to wait for and the other two companies have rejected me
I'm starting to dread that 'new mail' sound. Fortunately, the last one was just a Spam (I hardly get spam), but it made me nervous for a bit.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:29, Reply)

@ spakka
that's a good sign!
edit: I mean, that they're checking references, not that you got spam.

*keeps all appendages crossed*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:30, Reply)

@LVP
What course did you do at Cardiff?

I'd be wondering why I recognise you in your profile; I must've seen you in Cardiff when I was (briefly) at uni there.
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:32, Reply)

Is it wrong
that I fancy Philip Scofield?

I think I must be spending too much time at home.

I am visiting schools every day next week! Hurrah. I'll miss b3ta though.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:34, Reply)

Cap'n V
Spanish and Italian so would have been floating around the humanities and School Of European studies buildings.
When were you there then?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:35, Reply)

MrsBin
It is not wrong at all! Philip Scofield is a silver fox!!!!
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:35, Reply)

Mrs LiaB
Not wrong at all. Lusty is right, a silver fox indeed.
And I'm slowly learning from B3ta, there is no such thing as a wrong crush.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:37, Reply)

I was doing Chemistry
From 2006 - 2007 then was at UWIC for 2007 - early 2008 when I realised that I'm not really capable of doing uni at the moment.

I hope to go back to Cardiff uni to do Chemistry as a mature student. Perhaps late twenties early thirties.
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:38, Reply)

@Mrs Bin
Yes! it is very wrong to fancy Philip Schofield.

Does that answer your question.

Edit - are you all mad!
(

girlinthehole, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:38, Reply)

@ LVP
Is that really true?

Is it all right that I fancy the chap who plays Oliver Wood in the Harry Potter films, then?

he is so delicious and scottish
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:39, Reply)

HLT
Welcome to the club dear lady. He is very commanding of that broomstick isn't he?
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
BGB - You'll come around eventually.
Capn V - hmm, so out paths may well have crossed. Where did you go out?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:41, Reply)

@TGB...

MMM..the 'C' word...and not THAT one...or the other one...I was talking about cider...

*drools*

So how may folk are we talking about for 'Leam-bash 2: The sequel?' It's so centrally located that there can be NO EXCUSES!

P.S. Please forgive the lateness of my reply...I went for a particularly disturbing chod release and my farmers are a bastard to wipe at the moment. My cack-chute feels as if it's been stung by a swarm of killer bees

EDIT: Philip Schofield has a dark and murky past you know...does that make him more attractive to you?

As for crushes...I have a quite sizable one (fnarr) one for Katherine Jenkins the opera singer.

*feels randy again*
(

Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:41, Reply)

Phil Schofield doesn't do it for me, I must say.
But Fern Britton? Cor! You just know she'd make you a fry up afterwards!
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:43, Reply)

Oh but BGB
He looks like he could make a nice dinner for you.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:43, Reply)

Late twenties, early thirties?
Chemistry was exciting back then!
Haber and Bosch were given the Nobel Prize for their work on Ammonia fixing.
And some... Other... Stuff.... Might have happened.

*shrugs*
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:43, Reply)

*spangs kaol*
@LVP Mainly went out to Metros, Squares and when friends insisted...Bounce.
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:47, Reply)

Well
There's 4 so far! Pooflake, TGB, Capt Placid, Himjim.

There must be more.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:47, Reply)

Mr Schofield is far too chirpy for my tastes.
I like em mean and moody......and funny.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:51, Reply)

if we're talking crushes...
James May, anyone?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:54, Reply)

@BGB...

I'm mean...

woo! - one out of three!

Edit: @HLT - James May? You'd have to keep him miserable...he looks like a berk when he laughs...
(

Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:54, Reply)

BGB
You only had to ask :p
Too late now.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:55, Reply)

BGB
And I'm moody.
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:55, Reply)

@ HLT
James May - Mr Bin. Separated at birth. (although not so much now Mr Bin's hair is shorter)
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:57, Reply)

I'm not moody
I'm permanently miserable.

(not true at all)

The sparky is here fixing my power. Apparently a circuit breaker has blown. Not just tripped, actually gone pop. So he's off to get a new one.

@HLT - sorry, but BK mentioned my scrotum first. I wasn't going to say anything about it.

@Queerloch - Katherine Jenkins. Hmm, yes!
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:58, Reply)

Aah metros
The only club I know of that gives toast out at the end of the night. Ace. I went there a few times but was more of a Barfly girl. Or Que Pasa on thursdays for BoGoF cocktails.
Maybe our paths haven't crossed then. Maybe I just look familiar cos...Oooh I don't know why!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:59, Reply)

I must admit
If I were that way inclined I'd drop my keks for Mr J May in a heartbeat.
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 10:59, Reply)

If I had James May to myself
I assure you I wouldn't be trying to make him laugh.

edit @ Mrs Bin - ooh, you lucky lady!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:01, Reply)

4 people is still
twice as many as the last one :p

My housemate still doesn't count.

*falls asleep at desk*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:03, Reply)

Yes!
I went to Norwich a while back to see a mate, and we ended up in "Que Pasa on thursday for BoGoF cocktails"...

I fear I over-indulged in Long Island Iced Teas, and may have ended up singing "Rock The Casbah" on stage with the in-house covers band.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:04, Reply)

Now his hair is short though
he looks exactly like a young George Harrison.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:04, Reply)

@LVP
Ah the toast. I'd forgotten about that! I'd also forgotten about the barfly; went there from time to time too.

I don't think we've ever crossed paths in the sense of stopping and talking. I'm good with faces (and crap with names) so must've just seen you about somewhere and thought "That's a nice face; I think I've seen it before" and as such recognised you.

I have a lot of akward moments in pubs/bars where I approach people thinking I've met them before where it turns out that actually I've just seem them once, some place, some time ago.

I'm concerned that I now sound like a stalker so I'll shut up.

:edit: Remembered another bar but I can't remember the name. Near Tiger Tiger and did cheap drinks on a Monday. Usually drank there before moving on to Tiger Tiger.
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:05, Reply)

Cap'n V
Thank you for the facial compliment. I shall treasure it.
I quite often say hello to people and then realise it's only because I've seen them on a regular basis, like customers where I've worked or something.
It's even worse when I'm drunk because I feel compelled to stop and explain why I'm speaking to them.

Edit - Tiger Tiger - now there's a club. They would have bowls of sweets! In a club! Now that's clever. Put free sweets anywhere and I'm guaranteed to turn up.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:06, Reply)

Hmm, George Harrison, not so much
I also fancy Monty Don. Am I weird?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:11, Reply)

It's weird isn't it
I've never had one of those situations turn into a decent conversation either. Usually results in my sheepishly going back to whoever I'm out with.

:edit: All this talk of Cardiff is making me miss it a lot. Wish I could bring myself to move out there but it'd mean leaving behind too much. Perhaps I should just kill all my friends so I've no reason not to move to Cardiff. Perhaps not.
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:11, Reply)

Monty Don
No, he looks like an Easter Island head.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:11, Reply)

Wasn't Monty Don on the same programme as
Kate Humble?

(and so the cycle continues)
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:13, Reply)

Monty Don?
He had a stroke, didn't he?

A wonderful switch from gardener to vegetable.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:13, Reply)

Mrs LiaB
Easter Island Head = possible the all time greatest description of someone ever. Congratulations.

Cap'n V - I miss Cardiff too. Booo.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:14, Reply)

@LvP
Put free sweets anywhere and I'm guaranteed to turn up.

Bet you're glad Gary Glitter didn't live near you when you were a kid!
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:14, Reply)

Kaol
You're sick.

*so am I for literally laughing out loud :(
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:14, Reply)

K2K6
Good point. Although I was a feisty little shit when I was little. I would have probably taken the sweets, kicked him and ran off.
mmm sweets.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:16, Reply)

Thanks 'Red
I'm feeling on good form today.
I need more attention though, dammit!

*frowns*
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:17, Reply)

*has idea*
*offers free sweets*

Adults only please. Female adults, at that.

And why am I on Pizza Hut's e-mail spam list? Can't even remember being in the place for years.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:19, Reply)

*lavishes kaol with attention*
Better? :D
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:20, Reply)

*flutters at Kaol*
There - will that do?

*is distracted by free sweeties*
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:21, Reply)

I got a 50% voucher off from pizza hut the other day
Pondering whether to use it; I love pizza, but it's naughty. What's the most random Spam mail anyone's ever got?

EDIT: TGB, fancy a half price pizza?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:22, Reply)

Hello Kaol
Feel better now? We were talking about you yesterday and the pronunciation of your name
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:23, Reply)

*grins*
Far better!

Mr. K, I'm actually banned from a pizza hut in a town near me.
A mate of mine worked there and said that there was a picture of me from the CCTV on the "banned list".
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:23, Reply)

I hate viagra spam emails
I don't even have a penis!!!
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:23, Reply)

@ Kaol
why, what shiny knives you have!

@k2k6 - what kind of sweets? and what do I have to do to get some? will you bring some on Monday?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:24, Reply)

HLT
Not today, I've got the rusty one with me.
If the insertion doesn't kill 'em, the tetanus will.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:25, Reply)

himjim
I regularly get Ann Summers emails, telling me that dressing up as miss massage will get my man going.

Either that or the one from Durex confirming my "official tester" status. But I did get a box of goodies from them, so all good.

*Just wish I hadn't just blurted out my secret.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:25, Reply)

Did someone say free sweets?
*checks sign*

Damn. Just for ladies. This is discrimination, sir! To the Yooropeen Kort of Hyooman Ryghts!

EDIT: @Ethel, I get spam from Ann Summers too. Strange, as I have never brought anything from them.
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:26, Reply)

@ kaol
oh.

I must have been looking at something else.

here, have a cake in the shape of a kitten instead.

*offers*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:26, Reply)

And now for something completely different
www.b3ta.com/questions/gooutwithme/post235231
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:27, Reply)

The free sweeties
are chocolate based.

Swap you some for a kitten cake, HLT.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:31, Reply)

oh, ok
*swaps*

*noms*

mm, yummy, thanks!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:33, Reply)

Chocolate based?
Bollocks to that then. Chocolate comes third on my list after sweeties and crisps.
I can live without chocolate.
*sulks*
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:33, Reply)

Grammar Badger, Are you still here?
I just had a school phone me up asking if I can come and visit next week so I had a look at their website.
I copied and pasted the following for your enjoyment:

"Ladie's Driving Challenge
On Sunday some of the mum's took part in the driving challenge. They raised around £800 for the school. Well done everyone and thank you!"
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:35, Reply)

I think today I shall play the not stopping for lunch game
So that I can go home an hour early.
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:35, Reply)

Mrs L
That made me sad :(

But has explained why children nowadays have appalling spelling if that is the example they are set!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:38, Reply)

@ GB
This school achieved an Outstanding from Ofsted.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:39, Reply)

I have
4 digestives and a cup-a-soup for lunch :(
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:41, Reply)

.
Re Leamington Bash:
If it’s between the 20th September Southampton bash and the London bash the following week, I might just be able to make it but I make no promises.

Re celebrity crushes:
When I was a kid, I had a crush on Carole Hersee.

@Kaol re being banned from Pizza Hut:
Any idea how that happened?

Re Spam:
If there’s anything worse than spam, it’s spam-filters that give false positives.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:45, Reply)

0_o
What! I am tempted to find said school and send email!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:46, Reply)

@ Mrs Bin
I would be very tempted to correct the errors in red pen, award it a mark out of 10, and then send it to the Head with a stern note.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:48, Reply)

@ HLT
Not a good idea when I'm going there begging for a job.

www.kersey.suffolk.sch.uk/2008/07/03/Ladies-Driving-Challenge
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:50, Reply)

Can I still send an email?
:p

Spakka I am sure we can get the "locals" together at short notice so we can have a bash just for you if you are around :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:53, Reply)

maybe not the stern note then
a bribe?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:53, Reply)

Gah!
Noah and the Whale.

No No No!

Jonah was the one with the whale. Not only that, but the song sits in your head all day *cries*
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:53, Reply)

Thanks for that ethel
now it's stuck in my head too :(
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:55, Reply)

@ Grammar Badger
So long as you don't mention my name, which you don't know anyway, I can't see why not.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:55, Reply)

my brother has talked me into going to see Noah and the whale
in November or something

apparently the album is very good....
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:55, Reply)

I'll have to go
IT services are shutting us down for an hour from 12pm to 1pm to correct a fault.

Buggers.

At least I've no excuse not to go swimming now!
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:56, Reply)

Getting banned from Pizza Hut
Er...
I was very drunk, and I'd taken a quantity of pills.
Cheap and nasty Speed, if I remember correctly.

My mate said that I started shouting "You're trying to fucking poison me, you cunts!".
Because they'd got my order wrong, and given me a pizza with tuna on it.

If I eat fish I'll puke myself inside-out.

So yeah, I was "asked to leave".

I'm told that my response was "I'm not leaving without putting up a fight."

My mates took me away.

Don't do drugs, kids.

EDIT: This was a lunchtime too :(
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:57, Reply)

@ Vipros
That's the only song of theirs I know, it is lovely and chirpy but I was quite enjoying the song I had in my head already.
*goes back to singing Sammy Hagar*
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:58, Reply)

@TGB
I'll be mostly visiting London and Southhampton that time, but if I don't manage to find enough interviews (or I actually get a job-offer), I might just be able to squeeze in Leamington too.

@Ethlered: When I read "4 digestives" it somehow made me think of "4 digestive systems" and made me think of a cow.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:58, Reply)

@ spakka
If I had a cow to eat, I'd be set.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:00, Reply)

@Spakka...
Carole Hersee? The girl from the testcard?

Lorks. I used to be scared of that when I was a kid.

My childhood crush was on Glynis Barber...who was 'Makepeace' from 'Dempsey & Makepeace' fame.

Actually, I saw her on telly quite recently..and she is still absolutely stunning.

*horns*
(

Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:00, Reply)

hehe
"Dear School

Mrs Liveinabin, who is applying for a job within your establishment, has pointed out your complete and utter lack of understanding regarding apostrophes."

:p

obviously I didn't send that or indeed anything yet.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:02, Reply)

gah
I'm
so
BORED.

I might go and make some fairy cakes. I'm visiting a pregnant friend later, do you think fairy cakes would go down well? She already has a 2 year old I could bribe with them.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:04, Reply)

@LvP
Yes, fairy cakes! Yes!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:05, Reply)

If they don't go down well
You could send them to me. I'd eat them.
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:06, Reply)

Right
I'm off cake baking. I shall return though.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:06, Reply)

@ LVP

Everyone likes fairy cakes.

I've got 8p noodles for lunch!
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:06, Reply)

@al
Mature? I'm not quite sure I know what you mean.
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:12, Reply)

Al, you're never in charge
When I'm not here then DiT is in charge.
When him and me aren't here, K2k6 is in charge.
When he's not here, BGB is in charge.
When she's not here Wanderlust is in charge.
When she's not here HLT's in charge.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:12, Reply)

@ Wanderlust
I think he means our cheddar.

Kaol, I'm the oldest B3tan in the thread according b3tadays, so I'm assuming control.

On yer bike, yer spotty little oik!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:12, Reply)

@ethel
our cheddar?
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:14, Reply)

Hold on Kaol
I thought it was decided the mums out rank everyone.
Chickenlady and WeeWitch should be on that list.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:14, Reply)

Oh, I forgot PoD from
The list.
He's after HLT.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:14, Reply)

Hi Al
@Kaol:
My sympathies. I’m not into fish myself.

@Pooflake:
Yes. That was test-card girl. But I was only 7 at the time. I lived abroad then and only saw her whenever my family visited the UK.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:15, Reply)

Look, no point arguing
It was all decided at the meeting.

If you weren't there, it's your fault.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:15, Reply)

The powers that be
still haven't turned off my interweb! Woo.

I'm amazed and pleased to see I'm so far up the hierarchy of in-charge-ness.

And Ethelred - I'm older than you, in terms of b3ta time.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:16, Reply)

hmm
how is the list sorted, exactly?

al, why do you want to be in charge?

ooh, it's al! *does a yayitsaldance*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:17, Reply)

*shakes fist*
at Kaol and K2K6, its a conspiracy!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:18, Reply)

The order of the list
Was decided at the meeting.

Did you not get the memo?

K2k6, you're a well-respected man, it couldn't be any other way.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:18, Reply)

Ok how many people have to go
before I am in charge? :P
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:20, Reply)

*nods at Kaol*
I'm coming up for my 5th b3taday. Actually, clendrix is a very similar b3ta age to me. Maybe she should be on your list somewhere Kaol?
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:20, Reply)

Hullo!
Are there any financial wizards about? As I'm off to 'merica on my hols next month, the pound has decided to take a massive swan-dive against the dollar (currently sitting at $1.72 to the pound.)

Should I exchange my currency now, or should I wait and see what happens, risking a less beneficial rate of exchange.

(I was thinking about setting a stop-loss, but the comission was insane)

And now, normal service resumes!

Er... BUMS!
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:22, Reply)

According to the chancellor
it's only going to get worse. So buy your dollars now.

Right, I'm off to the swimming pool. See you all later.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:23, Reply)

Yeah, but she wasn't about
When I had the meeting.

Out of sight, out of mind, I'm afraid.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:24, Reply)

what?
I disappear to make delicious cakey wakey goodness and come back to find a whole hierarchy has been determined!
Where am I on the list Kaol? I'll give you a fairy cake, I'm going to ice them and put hundreds and thousands and dolly mixture on top and everyfing!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:29, Reply)

I miss clendrix
When's she coming back?
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:29, Reply)

$1.72
WTF? Did I miss owt?
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:30, Reply)

You're not on the list
Sorry.

Once none of the people on the list are here, it's a law-less state.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:30, Reply)

@ Kaol
I missed this meeting. I want to know what the criteria are for being on the list.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:31, Reply)

I'm sorry
Only two people turned up to the meeting.
One was me.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:32, Reply)

The other was me.
*shrugs*
(Kaol - Scourge of Wales, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:32, Reply)

Wow.
That's harsh to hear.
*sniffs*
I'll just mentally regress to a list free world where I was so much happier...
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:33, Reply)

LvP
I think we should plot an uprising, fancy it?

(if you pardon the expression)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:34, Reply)

FINE
I'm going to make my own list.

And why isn't Ancrenne on it? Hmm? Well?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:34, Reply)

I was here
and did I get on the list?

Did I buffalo.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:35, Reply)

leave Kaol alone!
I think he has excellent list making abilities.
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:36, Reply)

Ancrenne?
Because she's not often here now, she's busy!

Anyway, in the fair spirit of Democracy, I can't have favourites.

*winks at wanderlust*
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:36, Reply)

Yeah!
Let's have an uprising, al, hlt, mrs LiaB, ethelred and everyone else!
We can eat cakes and al can wear tiny little shorts and we can all jiggle!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:37, Reply)

yes!
*grabs al and lucy by the hand*

*runs away into beautiful land of no lists*

*bakes cakes and wears shorts*

*happies*

edit: *runs back to collect ethel, lusty and Mrs Bin*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:38, Reply)

@ al
al, why are you wearing my shorts?

*inspects shorts*

you've put boy bumps in them!

*cries*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:40, Reply)

HLT...
This is what happens in a world without lists.

Man-lumps ruin your garments.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:42, Reply)

Kaol
Are you telling us all to get naked?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:43, Reply)

boy bumps!
oh what a nice image.
have a cake hlt.
*pats hlt on the back in a reassuring manner*
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:43, Reply)

*stops crying*
o list-free comrades! let us not be deterred by ruined shorts and no man bumps.

*wipes al's tears away*

al, you HAVE got man lumps, look!

lucy, if I had a list, you would be on it.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:46, Reply)

aah thanks!
You'd be on mine too.
*smiles*
I need to go and ice my cakes in a minute. Shall I make some butterfly cakes or just keep em as iced fairy wonders? hmm.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:48, Reply)

Afternoon all
I had my day nicely planned out - I was going to do a whole list of things for work, then I was going to clean out my car, check the oil, pack my rucksack and get all ready for going off to Wales tomorrow safe in the knowledge that I'd done everything.

And I have achieved almost nothing.

I can't get my head to go around a string of words that need to be sorted and emailed off today.

Gah!

Time to talk about food I suspect.
What's everyone having for lunch?
(

chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:48, Reply)

@Spakka
The OECD forcasting that the economy will contract in the current quarter and the next, triggering a full-blown recession. The chancellor openly stating that the conditions facing the UK economy are 'arguably the worst in 60 years'.

Ergo: Money markets take the first hit. No-one's buying pounds any more!

Anyway, that's enough of that, eh?

EDIT: Noon, chickenlady! I shall be having a Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato ciabatta!
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:51, Reply)

Lunch
I've already eaten mine. Got hungry mid morning so had my lunch for elevenses. Got a banana to eat still and whatever I decided to get in the canteen. Perhaps another sausage sarnie.
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:51, Reply)

@ Chickenlady
8p noodles, left over salad and homegrown tomatoes.

Now Chickenlady, as you can see there had been much discussion about who is in charge when there aren't any b3ta mummies about. As you are here and therefore in charge, what is the chain of command?
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:51, Reply)

hello miss chicken
I have just nommed a chocolate muffin. does that help?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:52, Reply)

extra thick vegetable soup
and granary bread

and skips
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:52, Reply)

ummm excuse me all....
I set up the thread. I have the power to delete it!
Enough of all this who's in charge business or the thread goes.
I have spoken.

actually I probably couldn't do that as I'd be very mean and I don't like being mean
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:57, Reply)

Damn canteen
No hot food today so it's a can of coke, cheese and onion crisps and a banana.

Elevenses was much nicer.
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:57, Reply)

The Chain of Command?
Erm......

Well.....

Ah.....

*thinks*

I suppose it simply comes down to those who prefer to be In Charge and those who prefer to be told what to do.....

For example...

If I put on my high heels, glasses and short skirt and wave a ruler (not a whip...)around, then I'm sure there'll be plenty of b3tans prepared to do as they're told by me.

;-)
(

chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:58, Reply)

I got Space Raiders.
The "spicy" ones.
They're awesome.

Thinking I'll go to town for lunch though, need coffee.

And it's magazine day.
New Scientist ftw.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:58, Reply)

I had
chicken sweetcorn mayo sarnie, a mini babybel and some french fries (the crisp kind),

Mmm healthy.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 12:59, Reply)

@Chickenlady
If you told me what to do in your storytelling voice, I think I'd obey.

Lunch is cheesy pasta. Yums!

*edit* @al
Darling isn't even in charge of his own eyebrows. Then again, it never bothered Dennis Healey.
(

Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:04, Reply)

.
Oh can I join your little rebellion too? I promise to wear shorts that fit snugly.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:07, Reply)

@ al
yes. they all need to go.

them and the CEOs of all the banks. they'll be first against the wall when the revolution comes.

@BK - hello!

I have teh hunger now. I might have to go to teh bury of sains and nom fishy parcels of fun.

edit@spakka, yes, but the shorts are optional.

*points at al*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:08, Reply)

Yay, it's tulip!
*ensnoggles*

How be you, deary?
(

Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:11, Reply)

.
Lunch: Buttered crumpets for me.
Can’t fid crumpets round here so brought some back when I visited England last week. Also had an English KitKat (which are so much better than the local KitKats).

@DiT:
In that case, I’m glad I’ve got my money in Euros. Oh well, I’m glad my friend visited the States before the pound collapsed.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:13, Reply)

* takes off shorts *
* realises I'm wearing underpants under my shorts *

So are underpants optional too?
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:15, Reply)

Pumpkin ryvita with low fat emmental cheese.
And a fruit and nut yogurt covered snack bar.

I do eat crap.....just now and then.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:18, Reply)

I've just remembered
That I had a dream last night where Kimi Raikonen had left Ferrari to join Toyota and he'd won a grand prix.

I think he went on to win the 2008 world championship.
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:18, Reply)

@ BK
I'm tops ta, but I'm a bit chilly.

*ensnoggles back*

"lovely innocent girl"?

*sniggers*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:18, Reply)

It's been 26 hours since I last slept
but I couldn't just fly in and go to bed without saying howdy y'all.

My holiday was fecking well FTW, but oh, I've missed you all.

*stretches arms wide enough to hug everyone*
(

thealternativefact, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:22, Reply)

Clendrix!
*snogs*

welcome back!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:23, Reply)

Clendrix! yay!
*jumps on clendrix*
*covers in cuddles and kisses*
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:23, Reply)

I'm back from
my kilometre of aquatic self-locomotion, and I'm all hot and exercised.

*glows*

Woo - clendrix is back too. Hello, we were just talking about you this morning.

Good holiday?
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:23, Reply)

Yay! clendrix is back!
* drops down to knees *

Hail Clendertron.
Hail Clendertron.
Hail Clendertron.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:26, Reply)

I'VE GOT THREE DAYS WORK!
*does little dance*
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:28, Reply)

Yay, clendrix
This is for you.

*uber flex*
*does back in*
(

Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:32, Reply)

*squeals at all the love*
I had a fabulous time in Merkin Land! Love it there, and love the Merkins, esp The Loon.

K2k6 - ahh, I see me mentioned above. Not on Kaol's list, eh? I don't know...buy a guy lunch and that's the thanks you get.

Edit: BK - I needed that!
(

thealternativefact, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:34, Reply)

Hello Clendrix.
Get signed up on the calender and you can get some more merkin hugs in a couple of weeks.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:39, Reply)

@spakka
I just read your latest QOTW effort.

*shakes head*

Oh dear.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:40, Reply)

@K2k6
Sorry. Couldn't reist. :-P

* removes underpants *

* remembers I'm wearing another pair of underpats nder my underpants *
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:41, Reply)

welcome back Clendrix
you've been missed!

*worries that he will leave someone out but...*

now all we need is to have Bert back, and get Ancrenne on more often and we will be back to full awesomeness
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:44, Reply)

The thing is spakka
[deleted to avoid spoilers]
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:44, Reply)

100
Woo!

@K2k6: Don't spoil it for those who haven't read it.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:44, Reply)

Thank you V!
That's a nice thing to say.

BGB - all signed up and ready to go!
(

thealternativefact, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:45, Reply)

@BGB
Are the 'merkins meeting solely in London or are they making an appearance in West Yorkshire at any point?
(

Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:46, Reply)

@Vipros
Bert is on holiday, allegedly.

But no-one's heard anything of him for weeks. Kaol assures us he's just away temporarily though.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:49, Reply)

@BK
Were off to Cumbria for a few days and then the day after we get back it's London. We don't really have the time to jet off anywhere else : ) We'll see what happens and if anything changes.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:52, Reply)

humph
no-one ever comes north.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:53, Reply)

.
@HLT:
Maybe that's because the Scotland bash was so far in the future.

Bert as been conspicuously quiet ever since that photostory of the toy monkey and the dog.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:55, Reply)

@BGB
Nae bother.

*ninja edit*
I keep addressing replies to myself. Numbfuck.
(

Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:56, Reply)

However, al
If one has the ability to lick the top of one's own head, it does seem to attract the attention of the ladies for some reason...
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:57, Reply)

Hail Clenderton!
It's been quiet without you!

Also, spakka: It's not a collapse. Well, not yet, anyway... We've a while to go til 1992 levels of nastiness (like being kicked out of the European Exchange Rate Mechanism. Still, it doesn't look good!

EDIT: I now have my dollars in my hand. It's weird money, it doesn't look real. Ah well, it's all about the green!
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:59, Reply)

@K2
I think he meant licking the top of someone else's head, but that would indeed be impressive.
(

Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:59, Reply)

@BK
He did. Maybe I should have italicised the 'own'.

*goes off to ninja edit*

@DiT - 1992 was nothing. I remember the winter of discontent in 1978-79. Now that was grim.

*shows age*
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:01, Reply)

Damn this ninja edit
I look like I don't understand italics now.
(

Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:02, Reply)

Dammit
My horn has come back. Now I'm sexually frustrated. Fucksocks.

*looks around for something to hump*
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:03, Reply)

Clendrix?
Fuck yes!

*grins*
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:03, Reply)

right
if k2k6 licks his own head, and I jiggle about in my shorts, will you all come north then?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:11, Reply)

Has brilliant idea!
There should be a little place somewhere in B3ta where sexually frustrated B3tans can go to talk dirty anonymously with other sexually frustrated Btans, without the worry of the other person thinking that you want to take it further.

Like those dark rooms that gays go to in clubs for anonymous blowjobs.

Good idea?
(

girlinthehole, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:12, Reply)

I go off to eat some lunch and then come back to find
BGB suggesting cybersex for b3tans in little dark rooms and Spakka prancing around in his underpants.

People!

Will you think of ~~the children~~ Al?!
(

chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:14, Reply)

@ BGB
You can use the b3ta chat I made up the other day if you so wish.

No need to use regular usernames, and no need for passwords...

url.webspaceforhosting.com/1
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:14, Reply)

@Al
If you just want an anonymous blowjob then go to a gay club. The room is so dark you can't see anyway and you could pretend it's a women.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:15, Reply)

Al
Just go to one of the gay ones.
If you can't see, it might not be a man.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:16, Reply)

A hetro version of that
Sounds amazing.

The b3ta version sounds good too. It'd be like AA but...not.
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:16, Reply)

It may
be a Phillipino boy.
(

Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:16, Reply)

Did no-one hear me?
I've got some work.
I am very excited.

Can someone else be excited too?
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:20, Reply)

Ooh!
Get those F5 fingers ready! New QOTW on the way!
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:20, Reply)

@al
I've been to a club like that.
I was walking around all night with a man on a lead and if he misbehaved he got a spanked bottom.
Ahhh memories.

Edit: YAY for MrsBin! :D
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:21, Reply)

@Mrs Bin
Very sorry! I got carried away with the sex thing there for a minute.

Woo! Mrs Bins got work.....

*hugs*
(

girlinthehole, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:21, Reply)

I can't be bothered with
All of that first post nonsense any more.

Bit too much work.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:22, Reply)

Gah!
I was just 9 posts away from getting my post onto the "best of" this week.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:22, Reply)

Al!
That was no insult - I'm simply thinking about your moral fibre here.

@Mrs Bin - CONGRATULATIONS! It may only be a few days (supply?) but it all helps and it'll get you known so they'll ask you back! Hooray!
(

chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:22, Reply)

@al
nothing planned so far
*winks*
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:24, Reply)

Al, you are a bastard...
Congratulations Mrs Bin!

Good work!
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:25, Reply)

Well I never
I managed to get multiple entries onto the best page.

Woo!

Go me!
(

chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:25, Reply)

!
best of!

*faints*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:25, Reply)

I didn't actually post
A story this week.
Hmm...
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:26, Reply)

Well it is only 3 days
of supply work but it is a school I had an interview at last term.
Also it is just over the road.

Hurrah.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:27, Reply)

@ Chickenlady...

You certainly did...in more ways than one perchance???

*raises eyebrow*

*suspects*
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:27, Reply)

best replies to questions...
eh?
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:27, Reply)

nice darts Mrs L
bah, I've only have one story on the best of, and that is the best story from my life....

I'm doomed to remain a failure
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:28, Reply)

I still love you
Mr. V, even if you are a dismal failure:)
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:29, Reply)

@ Mrs bin
that is ace. well done. i am excited but I'm holding a cup of tea and I don't want to spill it, so...

*puts tea down*

*does excited dance*

*falls over al, who is on the floor*

hi al! fancy seeing you down here!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:30, Reply)

Congratulations Mrs. Bin
@Kaol: But I was looking forward to reading your story.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:30, Reply)

Oi, TwistyCheeky!
We'll have none of that or I'll blow ~~you~~ your cover!
(

chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:31, Reply)

great, not only am I a failure
I'm an object of desire for ~~someone with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery~~ Kaol
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:31, Reply)

Woo Hoo!
Nice work, Mrs.L! *smoosh*

Congrats to all 'Best Of'ers... I feel honoured that I got on there too, and on my B3taday as well!
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:32, Reply)

Vipros
You love it!
(

chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:32, Reply)

it's nice to be loved
even if it is by Kaol ;-)

doesn't help me in the not-having-as-many-interesting-stories-as-the-rest-of-you stakes though

there's a lesson here kids: if you get stoned all the time, it might be fun, but nothing interesting or amusing ever happens to you, at least nothing worth retelling
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:34, Reply)

Narcolepsy?
Er... Not as far as I know. Kleptomania, pyromania and insomnia, maybe.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:35, Reply)

I don't think I'll ever get a best of : (
And I got a B in 'O'level English as well.

*buys photoshop software*
(

girlinthehole, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:35, Reply)

Kaol
that's a shame, narcolepsy is hilarious

second only to Tourette's in terms of funny syndromes in my view
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:36, Reply)

Vipros
It's not always about what you tell, more often than not it's about how you tell it.

More importantly how many knob/fart/poo jokes you can get in.

And I have it on good authority that not all the tales are 100% honest.

Sometimes the truth gets in the way of a good story.

Not mine, obviously.
(

chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:37, Reply)

BGB
I've got a ~~cracked~~ spare totally legal version of ~~PS CS2~~ Photoshop CS2 that you're welcome to.

EDIT: Vipros, in that case oro-faecal-vomiting comes a close third.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:37, Reply)

@Kaol
What's that?

Edit - Ooo! thanks Kaol. I'll pick it up the next time we meet, which should be soon. Hint hint!
(

girlinthehole, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:38, Reply)

Aww...BGB...don't feel down...
You're always the 'best' in my book.

...and it's quite a rude book let me tell you...

(where was that sex-chat thing again?)

*stonks*

EDIT: @Vipros...what chickenlady said. Every.word.
(

Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:40, Reply)

if I were to make something up
it'd at least have to have a basis in reality

I think it's just that there hasn't been a question that's prompted a story to emerge from the depths of my memory for a while.

this one was an epic repost for example.

fingers crossed for the next one!
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:41, Reply)

Por vous
Pooey

url.webspaceforhosting.com/5
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:42, Reply)

Ethelred
you fucking swine
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:44, Reply)

^I dread to click on that...
Never know what I might see!

(Or, worse, you won't know who you're sexy chatting with. ;) )
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:44, Reply)

Vippy
Touché for past linkies.

Mwah x x
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:44, Reply)

Nice one 'Red!
Reel 'em in, fuck 'em up!
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:45, Reply)

I know I deserve it
but I didn't even consider that it could be....

more annoyed at myself!
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:45, Reply)

@DiT
That's the point.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:45, Reply)

@ Vipros
I have the same problem, none of the QOTW have really applied to any of my stories. Shame really, as I've got some corkers. Maybe we should just a story thread going, where people can post what they want.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:46, Reply)

ethel
Do that again and I won't do that thing I know you like!
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:46, Reply)

@ Ethel...
So I clicked on it...and something started happening...woo! I thought, thinking that this was somehow getting round my works proxy...

then...well, you know.

I haven't called anybody a cunt in quite a while. Enjoy it.

*goes back in time to sit on 'gullible' QotW*
(

Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:46, Reply)

himjim
trouble with that is that I would need to have my memory jogged to recall the story
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:48, Reply)

@BGB
I know, but what if I was chatting to a boy?
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:49, Reply)

I love having my own webserver.
I can get lots of people.

url.webspaceforhosting.com/1 is the chat.

url.webspaceforhosting.com/4 is Mr Astley himself

url.webspaceforhosting.com/5 is, well, you know ;)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:49, Reply)

*hugs ethel*
Nice one.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:49, Reply)

Just wish I had posted my story eralier
It was rising in rank quite fast but jsut didn't make it.

Re Stories to tell.
Everyone's got a story in them, but everyone's story fits a different QOTW. There's no "One size fits all" QOTW.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:49, Reply)

Himjim and Vipros
Sometimes a little 'creative' thinking is required to shoe-horn an anecdote into a qotw.

Remember you can also tell other people's stories - one of my best ones was a story of my dad's!

And also remember that often the truth needs editing or improving...

for example...my farting story of this week was all true except the fart bit.

*hangs head in shame*
(

chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:50, Reply)

@al
Only if I get to use my 'telephone voice'.
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:51, Reply)

@Al
Is that AOL tech support?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:55, Reply)

Hey! DiT
Boys, girls, goats....it's all good : )
(

girlinthehole, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:58, Reply)

my mate carl has any number of hilarious stories
and while he would hate me for posting them on the internet I'm going to do it anyway.

he's had me crying with laughter on many occasions.

I have no trouble artistically embelishing my tales, but it's the actual remembering in the first place that is the difficulty!
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:59, Reply)

OHMYGODCANTHATHAPPEN?
I'm not sharing toilet seats or my bike saddle with anyone now.

EDIT: You do mean bad AIDS, I assume?

EDIT: You have a fair point, BGB. But I prefers the lady bits. They're nicer. Boys - not designed to be aesthetically pleasing.
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:59, Reply)

I feel good today
I have made bread.

Made appointments to visit lots of schools.

Taken up the hem on a pair of jeans without making a pigs ear of it.

And got three days work.

w00t for today.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:59, Reply)

My top-rated story
Was told to me, wasn't actually me.
It's all about how you tell it.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:01, Reply)

DiT
Sorry, but you're wrong.

Lady parts are not aesthetically pleasing - they're all tucked away and frilly.

Men parts however are very pleasing, very pleasing indeed.

*wanders off to consider men parts*

and edited from boy parts to men parts as it just sounded WRONG!
(

chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:04, Reply)

No Chickenlady
You are wrong.
Men bits just look plain silly.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:05, Reply)

*woo*
Enjoys ladies arguing over manbits.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:06, Reply)

It's not about the winning...
It's about the taking part.

Well, it's not about the taking part, it's about the futile sense of despair. ;)

Seriously, it's not all about FP's and Best Of's, is it? I mean, that's nice and all, but I quite like reading the storied and enjoying the week.

Having a best-of is just the icing on the B3ta Cake. ;)

@Al: That's a bloody good plan.

EDIT: @Chickenlady: Haha, I suppose it's a matter of perspective, eh? I just think that there is nothing more ridiculous than a naked man. Naked women are much better. Smoother. More tactile. Lovely.

Er. I may have to.. Um. I'll be back in a minute...
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:06, Reply)

I dunno
I don't think you could tell a story about filling someone's wardrobe with expanding foam in a way that wouldn't get votes :-D

not that I'm blaming this on my lack of best of, but do you reckon there is a time window in which you can garner the most votes?

@DiT: I get a great deal of pleasure from reading people's stories too, far more than from a fleeting sense of smugness that people are enjoying mine.

I got quite emotional this week!
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:07, Reply)

Silly?
Okay, I'll give you that...men do seem come prepared for comedy in their pants.

But I'd rather a good laugh than a set of curtains.

Ahem...
(

chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:09, Reply)

I see the new QotW is out already…

“Gullible: part 2”

What the hell are they thinking???
(

Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:09, Reply)

I had two stories on the 'Blood' best-of
and the one that had been on there the shorter time was the higher.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:11, Reply)

nice try pooflake
it's actually
www.b3ta.com/questions/whyilovehorses
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:11, Reply)

Men's bits
Is that the best design they could come up with? Are you seriously telling me there were choices and someone said, ahh, there, that’s it, that’s the shape we’re looking for! The last chicken in the shop look. Shakespeare had one, Einstein had one, Perry Como sang ‘Memories are made with this’ with one of these stashed in his slacks!?
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:11, Reply)

Vipros
Generally Monday mid-morning to Tuesday afternoon.

Thursday/Friday are rush-days on posting.
Weekends are quiet.

Monday morning is a bit of a flurry, but once it dies down it's prime posting time.

Tuesday evening onwards doesn't give enough time.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:11, Reply)

Have I missed anything exciting?
Or are we all killing time before the new QOTW. Which I have been informed is

Marker Pens.
Bob writes: I once passed out and upon waking discovered some wag had written "Bob is gay" on my head! What hijinks.
What is the craziest thing you have ever written in marker pen?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:12, Reply)

I'd suspected
that thursday and friday were no good

I need to hold back from posting on those days I think

Marker pen: I once wrote "Ian = bladder" on my mate's exercise book!

how we laughed
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:13, Reply)

One of my mates
Once had a massive CDC drawn on his German folder at school...

With a swastika on it and the caption "Salute this!" underneath.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:16, Reply)

@Vipros
Best time to post is not just a few hours before the QOTW closes (although the #2 story on my profile was posted just a few hours before that QOTW closed).
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:17, Reply)

Marker pens.
I once corrected someone's spelling. They didn't appreciate it and shoved the pen up my arse. On the plus side, I discovered prostrate stimulation.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:19, Reply)

I think Chickenlady should set another written test.
WHY I LOVE HORSES

500 words only.

Edit - spakkaman...that was funny *laughs*
(

girlinthehole, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:19, Reply)

@TGB
I hope you're right. I've a story for that which I think is rather good.
(

Captain V, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:19, Reply)

Vipros
Isn't it I want to hurt you just to hear you screaming my name? Was that too long?

Alice Cooper rocks :)
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:20, Reply)

Why horses don't love me
I'm overweight.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:21, Reply)

@Al
Yeah right!

*doesn't click link*
(

girlinthehole, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:22, Reply)

TGB
you are correct, but I couldn't fit the last e on, and leaving out just was the only way to do it

I'm going to have to change it now....
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:23, Reply)

@ Vipros…

I wish I knew what made a good QotW post.

Sometimes I’ll do one that I am certain will do well…and it proceeds to suck green guffs, yet sometimes I bang out a quickie and it shoots up the charts like shit through a goose.

I’ve also posted at many different times. It doesn’t seem to make much difference to my clicks.

It’s a cliché but my rule is ‘no rules’. I’ve done posts that are short, long, fucking long, 100% true, 100% bollocks, somewhere in between, or just a shit joke / pun…if you think it’s valid to slap on the board, then people will be kind enough to read it.

B3tans are a fantastic but fickle bunch – so post what you want, and do your best job with the time you have. If you think it’s worth pressing the ‘post’ button, than that’s enough.

*takes off ‘wise old sage / patronising git’ hat*

*starts early drinking*
(

Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:24, Reply)

@BGB
Oddly, Al's link is actually geniune. It's his Sophie Titwank story!
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:24, Reply)

Alice Cooper
great live

fucking terrible breakfast show DJ

seriously, he's a boring idiot. you can tell he's a republican by how annoyingly dull he is.

Sage words indeed Pooflake

I shall bear all of your comments in mind and be unable to think of a decent story for the next QOTW whatever that may be.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:26, Reply)

.
@al:
Rick scale? Is that Rick as in Rickroll?

Re what makes a good QOTW post:
Bear in mind that the trolls get to vote too.

BTW: If it's on this week's QOTW topic, I try and go for the "no holds barred open-ness" approach. Everyone else seems to be doing it.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:28, Reply)

10 shiny points
go to the person who first correctly identifies the song in my sig without resorting to google...
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:31, Reply)

Incubus
Isn't it?
Can't remember the song.

Edit: Pink Floyd, sorry. From Echoes.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:32, Reply)

@K2K6
Don't believe you.

Your in cahoots with Al.

I noes it.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:32, Reply)

ooo
-5 points from Kaol there.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:33, Reply)

@BGB
Well, don't believe me then.

*sulks*
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:40, Reply)

Ok...sweepstake time...

A shiny new kitteh-flavoured cake for anybody who correctly guesses (to the nearest 5 minutes) when the next QotW will kick off...

Roll up! Roll up!

(bagsy 5:47pm)
(

Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:43, Reply)

16:01

(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:45, Reply)

4:01
*shrugs*

EDIT: DAME YOU!

Fine.
5:01
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:45, Reply)

I'll guess
16:03

That's 3 minutes past 4, or about 20 minutes from now.

At least I'll know quickly if I'm right or not.

Edit - How come the first three guesses are all within minutes of each other? Scary.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:45, Reply)

4:44pm
!

Kaol: how does one dame someone?

not sure I want kitteh-flavoured cake

I'll happily eat kitteh or cake, but one flavoured with the other?
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:45, Reply)

^^^Hmm^^^

@Ethel & Kaol...are you the same person?

or twins?

or pyschic mentalists?
(

Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:46, Reply)

QOTW change at
4:00
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:48, Reply)

Er...
You "dame" someone by cutting off their man-parts.

Also, I may be a physic mentalist.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:53, Reply)

I thought it might be something like that
nasty

what is everyone up to tonight?

I have band practice. we are all replete with grass, so it might go down hill swiftly.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:54, Reply)

Tonight...

I will mostly be spending lots of money given to me by the lovely people from Betfred.

It's been burning a hole in my account for yonks but I've been busy doing wiring / networking jobs.

Now they're all finished and my house is rigged up like the veritable non-explosive version of the space shuttle.
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:57, Reply)

My mate got a new
Car at the weekend.
An old 3-series BMW, with cream leather seats.

We're having a song-writing session tonight, he's picking me up at half five, so I'm gonna dress as a pimp. Cream leather interiors FTW.

The fact that he has long blonde hair is even better.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:57, Reply)

@Kaol
You know when I said my car had cream leather seats.....I was mistaken.

They're light grey leather *laughs*

I haven't had the car long and I got confused.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:59, Reply)

Nice
do you own a suit made of purple velvet and leopard skin?

if not then you should get one.

a mate of mine made himself a pimp suit as described above by buying the appropriate material and dismantling a charity shop suit to use as a template.

he had an enormous purple top hat and a pimp stick to go with it too

edit: only just noticed you redeeming your lost 5 points above Kaol...did you google it?
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:00, Reply)

Tonight
I have all the fun of unpacking my suitcase, packing a bag for my weekend in Cornwall, eating pizza with Luis and, the highlight, sleeping!

I wonder what delights jetlag will bring...
(

thealternativefact, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:01, Reply)

I've got
A beige suede-leather jacket with sheep-skin cuffs and collar.

Sunglasses. A trilby. Copious gold chain.
A red Hawaiian shirt.

It'll do.

EDIT: Vipros, nope, I didn't google, my brain just stopped being retarded. Incubus "a certain shade of green" threw me.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:04, Reply)

Favourite outfit
is my Western outfit. Very "Doc". Just need to get me a decent hat now.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:05, Reply)

that will do indeed
might look a bit more like Johnny Depp from Fear and Loathing though...

edit: a certain shade of green is a good song
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:05, Reply)

Jetlag....
I've never had it. I am not looking forward to October 27th, when I shall be having a big fat dose of it myself!

*wishes Clenders well*
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:06, Reply)

oooo
I might have to listen to some incubus on my way home. I used to love them, saw them live and went off them. They were wank!
I think I'll be just about ready for them again now though :)
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:08, Reply)

I know,
But it'll be fine, whatever!
It's not like we're going to a party or anything.
He's just expecting me to be in my usual black jeans, black leather jacket combo.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:08, Reply)

DiT
Best thing with jetlag is to roll with it at first, because it feels more like being drugged than being sleepy. Apart from a half-hour nap a while ago, I've had no sleep for about 29 hours now.

Chances are, on Saturday, when my friend is making her wedding vows, I shall be snoring gently in one of the pews.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:10, Reply)

looks like I'm the only one left with a chance
at the new QOTW time sweepstake!
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:12, Reply)

I'm still in
5:01 baby!
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:15, Reply)

*ahem*...

I said 5:47pm...
(

Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:15, Reply)

40 minutes
'til I can go home.

Boredboredboredboredboredbored
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:19, Reply)

As the event organiser...

I hereby disqualify Kaol for rampant abuse of editing his replies to suit the sweepstake.

In a defiant final act of protest at Kaol's actions, I have eaten said 'kitteh-flavoured cake', and sicked it up over my bass guitar.

*curses not 'thinking it through'*

*starts scrubbing bass*
(

Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:19, Reply)

*saunters in*
I'M FINISHED WORK FOR THE SUMMER!!!! OH YEAH!!

ahem.

How are we all today?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:20, Reply)

well, I completely failed to read all of your responses
except Kaol's cheating one

you can't blame me for that!

therefore I win by default
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:21, Reply)

It's not cheating.
It's "Taking A Creative Advantage".
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:25, Reply)

@Lusty...
I've seen Incubus twice now. Like you, I really liked them, and they were fucking awful the first time I saw them.

Then I saw them again at Reading 2005. I went, reasoning that it may have just been an 'off' day the first time.

Nope, they were still just as wank. The only time the crowd made any noise was when Brandon took his top off, and that was a bunch of teeny-bopper girls swooning.

Incubus - great albums, shite live.

EDIT: Can I have 18:01:06? (sixty six seconds past six - 666)
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:25, Reply)

DiT
I saw them at reading too.
I was bitterly disappointed. There last album was a bit shit aswell! I was so gutted with Brandon Boyd afterwards I took down his poster from my wall. He has now been replaced by Zac Efron.
What a dream boat.
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:28, Reply)

^Zac Efron?
Google informs me he is in something called 'High School Musical'. Are you cradle snatching?

If you want a poster on the wall, I can supply you with a limited edition DiT poster... ;)
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:29, Reply)

*saunters back in after working for a bit*
Bollocks. QOTW hasn't changed yet.

Maybe I could cheat....damn, Kaol's tried that.

Ah well.

Edit @DiT: 66 minutes past 6 would be 7:06 - I assume you meant seconds?
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:31, Reply)

that's pants
I'd assumed Incubus would be awesome live

I stopped listening to Reef after I saw them live, but that was because they were so good live that the studio stuff didn't compare.

and then they released a series of shit albums
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:31, Reply)

DiT poster?
Pffft, why have iron when you could have carbon steel?

*emails Kaol poster*

The edge'll keep for longer.

I love you really Mr. DiT.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:32, Reply)

DiT
he's legal! That's good enough for me!
I'll have a DiT poster aswell though .
*winks*
Yay! Home time! Night all!
(

wanderlust, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:32, Reply)

G'night Lusters!
I'm bored of unpacking. Where's that Q?
(

thealternativefact, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:33, Reply)

Yo yo Clenny
Keep me entertained.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:35, Reply)

@K2k6
Dunno what you're talking about *whistles*

@K-dizzle: Oi!
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:35, Reply)

Night 'lusty
I have really very few posters on the wall. Think I might pass on DiT or Kaol posters though.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:36, Reply)

@DiT
Ninja bastard! Still, I did the same to Boss K today, so I can't complain.

I'm off home. Bye all.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:38, Reply)

Ethel
I'm just back from Detroit, where I drank so much that I was sick. Really sick. There's now something wrong with my eye cos I was so sick. It's all bloodshot.

At my age. The shame.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:39, Reply)

I agree.
If I had a Kaol poster, I think I'd have nightmares.

I've got a Radiohead poster, and a few printouts of pictures I've done.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:39, Reply)

I have a massive wall hanging
of Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:42, Reply)

It would be strange having a poster of yourself
I wanna buy an slr and take pretty pictures and get them printed. Or something like that.

Hi Clendrix, good to see you back.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:44, Reply)

I've got one of those!
Well, kinda...
It's two homeless men stapled together...
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:44, Reply)

@ Clenny
Almost entertaining, continue with the details
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:44, Reply)

Posters
I have Sharon van Adel from Within Temptation, Marta Petersen from Bleeding Through, and Christina Scabbia from Lacuna Coil.

Really want one of Dominique Persi from Stolen Babies. She yummy.
(

Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:46, Reply)

I've got
Slash, Nikki Sixx and Louis Comfort Tiffany prints.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:48, Reply)

Just found this post
Thought I'd pop in and chat whilst waiting for the magic time of 17:30.

Hope y'all are well!

Edit: As for posters, at work we have a bunch of movie posters, which were a huge step up from the Motivational ones!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:49, Reply)

LM
are you also known as Mick Jagger?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:49, Reply)

Mick Jagger
Erm, nope, I'm only myself on this forum, and not Mick Jagger anywhere on the internet.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:52, Reply)

Hello PoD!
Ethel - I can't remember much more than that. I went to visit my friend Doug. He introduced me to his 'new' gf and it was into her toilet I puked. I puked the next morning too and what came out was the previous day's lunch.

We then all got in the car and drove an hour to watch the Michigan v Utah football game. We had to sit in the direct sunlight and it was 90 degrees.

Clendrix did not fare well, even with a medicinal mimosa.

Still, watching the Merkins raise the flag, sing the anthem and watch three jets do a loud fly-past just as they were finished was very fun!
(

thealternativefact, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:54, Reply)

Roit...
Ahm gahin' 'ome.

Catch you lot tomorrow.
(

Cawl, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 17:02, Reply)

@ Clenny
First impressions are always good. Especially involving sick!

Hope you don't do that on the 18th.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 17:08, Reply)

I haven't had any posters for years...
Since Uni in fact. But what I did have:

A Reservoir Dogs poster, a Counting Crows tour poster, and then Pamela Anderson (in various guises over the years), Faye Tozer, Britney Spears, Caprice and Carmen Electra. To name but a few.

This insight in to my mind delivered by DiT Neurological, Inc.

Bye Kaol!

EDIT: That sounds horrible, Clenderton! I feel a bit ill now myself.

I don't want tomorrow to come. I shall miss my little red candle. :(
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 17:09, Reply)

I'm ashamed of myself.
I truly am. I haven't been drunk like that in years and I don't like it.

I shall be almost perfectly behaved on the 18th!

Oh Tightly, I forgot to wish you Happy Birthday! Sorry, my lovely - hope it's been fun!
(

thealternativefact, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 17:18, Reply)

This QOTW
was made for me.

I have worked in so many 'customer facing' jobs it's not even funny.
(

Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 17:38, Reply)

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