It's a new week!
So come inside and discuss your woes, joys or whatever else.

I've pinched clendrix's sign, because I like it.



( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 8:21, 259 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

morning
I'm knackered today, despite having had quite a lot of sleep over the weekend...

also, woke up this morning suddenly remembering that I was supposed to set some stuff running on friday so it would be done by this morning.

I forgot. and it's 6 models that take 6-7 hours each...

arse
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 8:30, Reply)

Morning, Vipros
Arse indeed. I hate it when that sort of thing happens.

I had the pleasant experience of awakening yesterday morning about 7am, then realising it was Sunday and turning over to sleep for another 3 hours.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 8:33, Reply)

morning all
Didn't sleep very well last night so I'm very tired today.

Had a very unproductive weekend too. Going to have to get my arse in gear this week.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 8:36, Reply)

that must have been nice k2k6
I've not managed a proper lie in for a while. I tried yesterday though...

Laid my bathroom floor yesterday though, so it was pretty productive.

got a bloody presentation from one of the board of management at 9. can't think of a worse way to start my week.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 8:43, Reply)

Indeed it was nice
Although I didn't get to bed until nearly 2am, so it wasn't really a huge lie in. And I had a lot to do yesterday, but (even allowing for a couple of hours watching the Spa GP) I still got it all done.

Glad you've got your bathroom finished at last.

And morning, Cap'n V.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 8:50, Reply)

it's still not finished
but it has a floor

still got the finish stripping the door, put up architrave round door and window, put skirting board on, make a bath panel and box in some pipes....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 8:55, Reply)

Ah, didn't realise
I thought the floor was the final part. At least it's usable though, and the remaining bits are primarily cosmetic. Bet you'll be glad to see it finished :)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 8:56, Reply)

I'll be incredibly glad
it is fully functioning now though, and its gratifying to find that my new shower is better than every shower that I've used while mine has been out of action!

need to figure out the controls though. think I've been turning the temperature control the wrong way...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 8:58, Reply)

Morning my dear, loyal subjects
It's Monday.
Mondays are terrible.

This Monday in particular has got me craving a cigarette, an ice-cold vodka and a maple and pecan Danish pastry.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:02, Reply)

I'd like those things
preferably served in bed where I can then remain for the rest of the day!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:03, Reply)

Eeeeeeeeew!
You can't have a Danish in bed, you'll get crumbs everywhere.

*twitches*
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:05, Reply)

I've been craving a pasty for some time now
Fancy one of those sausage/bean/cheese jobbies from Greggs right now.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:07, Reply)

I'd use a big plate
and suction.

edit: Nothing from Greggs can be called a pasty. it's an abomination.

plus, I know someone who has worked in one of their central bakeries. the unhygenic practices are worse than McDonalds.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:07, Reply)

Hmmm...
There's a chain of local bakers around here who are really good.

Capt'n V, you might've heard of 'em, Dorringtons?
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:10, Reply)

However
there are things available from Greggs which could be described accurately as 'jobbies', using the Scottish meaning of the word!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:10, Reply)

That's very true k2k6
That's the only thing I ever eat from there. As far as their hygiene is concerned: I just don't think about it.

@kaol

The name rings a bell. I'll have to look into em.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:15, Reply)

Capt'n V,
As far as I know, they've got shops in Stortford, Sawbridgeworth, Old Harlow, Newport, Saffron Walden and Great Dunmow.

Their sandwiches are awesome, as are their cakes.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:17, Reply)

Good Morning from the start of leg 2
of my Epic Road Trip!

I'm sitting in Fishguard waiting for the ferry to Ireland to load, then its on to Dublin via Wicklow and Bray, woo!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:25, Reply)

Fucking F1 bullshit
And I am still sick and my boss is sick and it's all rubbish :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:26, Reply)

You're sick, TGB?
At-work-ill, or vomiting-sick?
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:28, Reply)

Touch wood
not the vomiting kind anymore!

But I am at work. Because I'm stupid and feel guilty taking sick days.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:30, Reply)

Ah...
I can't take fake-sick days here, what with living with my parents and working for my Dad at the moment...
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:32, Reply)

@kaol
That means special trips will be required to test the baked goodness.

At risk of being stoned to death I'll admit that as a Ferrari fan I'm not at all bothered by Hamilton's penalty but it doesn't make me any less pissed off with Raikkonen for binning it. Stupid Finn.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:32, Reply)

'Ning all
I concur with this F1 fucking bullshit business. McLaren are going to appeal, but it's still a teethkicker.

There's a baker in Wiltshire called Reeves that sells the nicest wholemeal bread ever!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:32, Reply)

Well my housemate is at work
so I would be at home by myself if I wasn't here and then no one would give me sympathy and make me tea :(

Oh wait no one is doing that here :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:35, Reply)

*makes tea for TGB*
*holds out vomit-bowl*
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:39, Reply)

I'm no fan of Ferrari
but it still annoyed me that Kimi made such an arse of things.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:40, Reply)

Thanks :)
It looks like I am actually going to have to make the tea though. Luckily there is only 3 people in the office at the moment.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:41, Reply)

Aye
I'm suprised nobody came in for intermediates sooner. I'd have thought they could've predicted how wet the track was going to get once it had started raining.

I can see why they've given him the penalty but given that it didn't ultimately change the result I guess it seems a bit harsh.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:42, Reply)

I'm going to have a glass of water
And sacrifice a worker to the Machine Gods in the hope that this day passes quickly and without incident.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:47, Reply)

*seethes at F1 fixing*

*makes soup and provides huggles for TGB*

I hope you'll be fit and randy ready for the Leamington bash though.

You do know that cider cures all known ailments don't you? That's why I'm such a fine figure of an 'adonis-like' love god!

:)
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:48, Reply)

To echo what TGB said earlier...
Fucking F1 Bullshit. Looks like if you are pushed wide, use the escape route, back off, and then pass in a completely legal move, but have the word 'McLaren' somewhere on your car, you get a 25second penaltly.

I'm not Lewis' biggest fan, but come on!

Oh, and Ning all! The sun's out!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:50, Reply)

I still reckon that Bernie Eccleston has
it all fixed anyway - like last season where Lewis' engine cut out for 5 seconds randomly.

@ Kaol - do you work with big machines usually?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:51, Reply)

Morning Poof, DiT!
I'm actually feeling a bit hungover from cider today.

So it'd not be the wisest thing for me.

Himjim - I'm in the office, not the factory, but I kinda cover the Health and Safety of the saw-monkeys.
Edit: Unless you're hitting on me. In which case, Yes, I work with the biggest, most powerful machines you could imagine.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:51, Reply)

Grrr
*moistens*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:54, Reply)

Morning all
I'm just back from the opticians, and according to a qualified professional, my eyes work fine. But I could probably have told you that myself.

Now I have a fun day of waiting at home for my new router to arrive, at some point between 9 and 5. What fun this promises to be.

Boo to H&S Kaol. Boo many times.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:55, Reply)

Boredom
I'm currently sat in a waiting room in court, having been up since 5am (court's in London, I live in Stratford-upon-Avon). I just know that today will drag on, but at least there's free wifi.

Hope you feel better soon TGB!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:55, Reply)

@DiT
I think the issue is that if the escape route hadn't been there he'd either have

a) Crashed
b) Been much further behind Raikkonen and unable to make the pass at the first corner

Hamilton has had a lot of penalties this season but by and large they've been deserved. That's not to say that everybody else has received appropriate penalties all the time though.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:56, Reply)

I will make sure I am
fighting fit for Saturday Pooflake don't worry!
It may be as I haven't drank this weekend that I am ill...

Kaol you worry me.

Edit: Hi Labia *waves*
Ok himjim that comment disturbed me more 0_o
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:57, Reply)

Why do I worry you?
*grins*
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 9:58, Reply)

I think Kaol worries everybody
The idea of him being in charge of keeping other people safe sends a chill down my spine!

Not to mention he lives bloody near to me.

I don't think I'm safe. Fucksocks.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:00, Reply)

Well Kaol
It's mainly the knife obsession!

Labia I am nosey and straightforward: Why you in court?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:00, Reply)

Hmm.
But that's what an escape route is for, surely? Especially when you're being pushed wide and have nowhere else to go.

Anyway, I can't talk about it, I'll just get angry again. But what about Andy Murray, eh? Brilliant work from him last night!

Ah, joy! My boss is working from home today... who knows, another chapter may appear!

Is it today that the switch is thrown at the LHC? I know nothing catastrophic will happen, but just in case - I'll see on on the other side, B3ta!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:02, Reply)

LHC
Goes on Wednesday.

My knife collection is a beautiful thing.

I'm gonna make a display case some time.

Also, I just saw this, and had to leave the office as I was laughing so hard:
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7598674.stm
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:04, Reply)

@DiT
LHC? Switch? What?

And morning.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:05, Reply)

Not sure the rulebook sees it that way DiT but I'm not sure
Looking forward to watching the final tonight. Murray has actually got me interested in tennis which is a first.

The semi was the best match I've ever seen. Can't wait to watch the final tonight.

:edit: @kaol What a fucking idiot. I'm glad he didn't get killed, most people deserve a second change, but if that happened again quite frankly he'd deserve to be killed.

What sort of a twat jumps over a railing like that into moving traffic!
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:06, Reply)

To the point
TGB: I'm here because I'm an expert witness for the prosecution in a case. I analysed some computers, and now I have to be grilled about it!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:06, Reply)

LHC = Large Hadron Collider
Exciting machine that smacks protons together. Hard.

People are bitching and whining that it's gonna make black holes and destroy the earth. I hope it does, serve the stupid fuckers right.

EDIT: By people I didn't mean DiT *blushes*
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:07, Reply)

I started my knife collection
when I moved into my new flat thing. It's a bit shit at the moment, because I've only got one. It's very nice though.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:07, Reply)

Kaol
That's brilliant!

I just drove down that road this morning, but there were no kids lying about. Shame.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:07, Reply)

@PoD
LHC = Large Hadron Collider.

EDIT: @CappyV - Well, I guess we agree to disagree! ;)


DOUBLE EDIT: @Kaol: Those people are really beginning to fuck me off. "Won't somebody consider how this completely not dangerous experiment affects me personally! I have no understanding of particle physics at all which clearly means this machine will cause THE END OF THE WORLD. And what about the property prices? And how does this affect my taxes?."

Cunts.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:08, Reply)

So
Is the LHC the one that's going to simulate what it's like in a blackhole, and the news got it wrong and said they were going to make a blackhole?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:08, Reply)

Are there free tea and coffee making facilities Labia?
I think I could deal with hanging around somewhere if there were free tea and coffee making facilities.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:10, Reply)

@DiT
That's one of my favourite oxymorons although I politely request restraint in the use of oxymorons as they distract the fuck out of me. I just get stuck trying to make sense of them.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:11, Reply)

PoD,
As far as I'm aware, they're not trying to simulate anything to do with black holes.

They're trying to detect theoretical particles that are created when you smack two protons together at high energies.
The main one they're looking for is called the "Higgs Boson".

The previous collider-machines they've had aren't powerful enough to do this.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:11, Reply)

@PoD
They're trying to recreate the conditions just after the Big Bang, hoping to find the elusive Higgs-Boson particle.

Black holes are, apparently, very unlikely.

What we need is a scientist!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:12, Reply)

@Labia
An expert witness with a mohawk - That's got to be a first hasn't it?

:edit: @DiT Those people are exactly the people that make me, in general, despise humanity. I shant go on about this any further else I'll risk sounding like Hitler Mugabe George Bush.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:13, Reply)

DiT
I'm a scientist *frowns*

*waits for K2k6 or Vipros*
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:14, Reply)

TGB
Sadly not, although the nice witness services man did hint that he'd get me a hot tasty beverage (my words, not his).
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:15, Reply)

@Kaol
*respects your scientific opinion, obviously*

Talking of hysteria, isn't the world meant to end today or something, according to the Goat?

*gets tin foil hat*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:16, Reply)

Captain V
I believe it might be a first! I wear it flat for work, but I haven't had any unfavourable comments yet. They wear silly wigs anyway.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:17, Reply)

alright there you sexual faced people.
I'm not even bothering to pretend to do work. I no longer care.
Hurrah for not giving a shit!
( wanderlust, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:19, Reply)

You've been listening to Goat?!?
*slaps DiT*
Sorry but it's for your own good!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:20, Reply)

On the topic of "Those people"
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/7603257.stm

Agree 100%.

:edit: @lusty Hurrah for not caring. Why don't you wave it in the air jiggle for Britain like you just don't care?
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:20, Reply)

Nice link Capt'n V
"What if Tim Berners Lee had been working in a solar [power] laboratory? Perhaps he would have done it there as well."

Er... Yeah... That's like saying if you got Einstein to work in a Pizzaria then he'd've made the best damn pizzas ever...

What. The. Fuck?

EDIT: TGB, I'm shocked. Violence is never the answer.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:22, Reply)

@captain
I fear I may have jiggled myself out. I no longer care for it, I seem to have lost all motivation.
( wanderlust, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:22, Reply)

People who harp on about climate change piss me off too
so how did the world heat up after the last ice age? Oh yes I forgot the mammoths and cavemen were driving their cars around and putting the central heating on high.

hey lusty, tis a good attitude you have there!

Edit: Kaol I can hear you laughing while you typed that from here.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:23, Reply)

*scientist enters*
Right then, the Large Hadron* Collider is a big atom smasher which will collide beams of subatomic particles at previously unattainable energies, as Kaol correctly says. They are trying to investigate, by simulation, the high energy physics which took place very shortly after the Big Bang.

By doing this, there is a finite, if very small, chance that a micro black hole will be created. However, given that the total mass-energy of the particles is about the same as a mosquito flapping its wings (albeit the energy of the individual particles is immense, but they're very, very light) then the chances of that black hole doing anything other than just disappearing again are negligible.

In fact, the earth is bombarded by cosmic rays of even greater energy all the time, and last time I looked, we're still here.

*looks again to check*

So, in short, the world won't end on Wednesday because they're switching the LHC on. In any case, it's only going to be on reduced power, and it'll be about a year until meaningful high energy results are obtained.

*careful with the spelling!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:25, Reply)

Morning 'lusty
I'm up for doing nothing too, but that's mostly because I am going to be spending today doing nothing. If my router comes reasonably early, I might get out on my bike since it's dry.

@Kaol, how did you happen across the link of that stupid bus boy? And any idea what happened to him? Or his name?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:25, Reply)

*prods and pokes el lusty*
If not even prodding and poking will motivate you then all hope is lost clearly you are not feeling motivated.

@kaol

Yea that comment was a bit stupid but otherwise I agree. Who gives a fuck if we discover the Higgs boson if our inability to manage resources (ie our planet) properly causes us to die out?
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:28, Reply)

Ouch!
That slap was not needed! I was being sarcastic! :( *sulks*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:28, Reply)

Morning all
How's it going? Good weekends?

I watched a programme about that the other night (the LHC...not about your weekends) and it said there was something like a 1 in 50 million chance something could go wrong. And even then they had no idea what "wrong" could be.

Actually it was on Mock the Week and Frankie Boyle said it so it must be true.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:29, Reply)

Sorry DiT
Would you like me to kiss it better?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:29, Reply)

@PoD
It was outside Dumfries Academy, and his name is Rhease Denver.

See here.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:30, Reply)

Morning folks
*collapses in apathetic heap*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:31, Reply)

Oh...
Captain V, I think we're on other sides of the fence then.

Humans have fucked up, that's an in escapable fact. Something big and bad will happen soon enough, and billions will die.

I figure in the meantime if people want to build massive sci-fi looking machines, then go for it.

EDIT: K2k6... I heard that there're "cosmic rays" with billions of times more energy than the LHC protons will move at.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:32, Reply)

Morning Boss
Quality stories in the QOTW by the way!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:34, Reply)

Thanks k2k6
I don't know him.

I drove in front of that school this morning going to the opticians. The kids there are a right menace, just wander across the road in front of you, walk around the town at lunch shouting and swearing at anyone and everyone, and feeding the massive seagulls.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:34, Reply)

Hey himjim
Cheers,

I was hugely under the influence when I did the fruit one.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:35, Reply)

If I'm honest
I'm pretty much on the fence really. I love the kind of science that is going on at the LHC but wish we'd put more time into more "survival of the human race" orientated science too.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:36, Reply)

Fair enough!
I still say "Fuck humanity, might as well have fun while we can".
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:37, Reply)

@captain
Poke away dear fellow. I will just sit here and look at pictures of kittums.
( wanderlust, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:39, Reply)

I think it'd be a lot of fun
If we said fuck it lets stop being greedy and make humans super awesome in a bid to conquer space...or something.

Make Earth sustainable as long as the sun shines then bugger off and explore space.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:40, Reply)

@TGB
Yes please! *readies self*

@Captain V - I see what you're saying there, but there's a very strong school of thought that says that the work being done at the LHC could have a positive impact on the world as we know it. It's completely conceivable, for example, that something might be discovered which could be the key to providing cheap, clean energy for everyone. It's a dream, but it could happen.

All the stuff we have today, including this here internet, came as a result of people pushing the boundraries of human understanding. The further we push it, the more we can change the world around us.

That is why DiT Associates supports the work at the LHC. *thumbs up*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:40, Reply)

Cosmic rays
are indeed much more powerful than the LHC. Well, some of them are anyway. In order to do this sort of science properly, we need energies which are 10¹⁵ times greater than those in the LHC. So we won't be doing that for a while.

In a way, LHC experiments are helping human survival. The more we know about the cosmos, the more we can use this knowledge to our advantage.

For example, you may think relativity is so far removed from everyday experience that it doesn't matter. But if corrections for relativity weren't made in your GPS sat nav device, you wouldn't be able to tell which town you were in, let alone finding your position on the planet within ±2m.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:42, Reply)

Morning all
Afraid I'm suffering from Hurty Head Syndrome due to impressive amounts of lager consumed yesterday.

I concur with those who despair at the meatsacks who are running about shrieking "The sky is falling!"

I culled this off of another board: "great, back to cakking my pants now,
has anyone got any real infomation as to what is likely to happen on wednesday as i have scoured the internet and reading between the lines of the doomsayers and the scientists i am still no wiser.

doomsayers will always spead doom and gloom come what may and scientists will always lie about something to quell the national panic come what may,
so what do people like me beleive who are ready for the truth but ****ting themselves just the same.
this is affecting me that badly that i am reluctant to send the kiddies to school in wednesday just in case"

Spazmoid.
_________
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:45, Reply)

Yeah!
The more particle physics we do, the closer we are to having a teleporter.

(Yes, I know they've made one already, that sent one particle across a room, but to send and re-arrange every particle in a human body would take 800 billion years with the processing power we currently have)
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:45, Reply)

*gives DiT a big kiss*
Feel better now?

This conversation has reminded me of HHGTTG where they come across that spaceship with all middle management who have been sent to "the new planet".

teehee. I have tea and biscuits now I feel quite a lot better :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:46, Reply)

^Christ.
It burns us! It burns!

Ning vesta!

EDIT: Much better thank you, TGB. ;)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:47, Reply)

@Swan Vesta
I wouldn't worry. If by some unimaginably improbable chance the LHC did create a black hole big enough to swallow up the earth, you're not going to get any time to worry about it. You'd be over the event horizon and compressed to super density before you even knew it.

As would most of the solar system, then a while later, quite a chunk of the galaxy in our vicinity.

So there's not really any cause for concern. Seriously. It's not going to happen. You'd be better off worrying about the credit crunch, the possibility of war with the Russians, religious extremist terrorists and why Lewis Hamilton received a 25s penalty yesterday.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:54, Reply)

@LHC moving forward everything
I realise you're all completely right in what you're saying. I suppose what I'm really being bitter about is more to do with people in general not really giving a fuck about progress and bettering ourselves.

(Almost) All science is good science imo.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:54, Reply)

Morning all
Is everybody good this morning?

About the CERN LHC, well they have already passed a proton stream into the LHC, on Wednesday they are doing a test of a proton stream around the whole of the ring.

The first collision is not until the 21^st of next month.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:54, Reply)

Ning DiT
Truly fucking frightening no?

What disturbs me most is that this person can vote and and has unleashed it's unholy, wretched genes upon the rest of us.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:54, Reply)

Captain V
I agree!
Eugenics and Phrenology for the win!

EDIT: Morning Herr Dr! I'm always good... *winks*
Thanks for the LHC info, good stuff.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:55, Reply)

bah, that article with Sir David Whatsit
has made me boil with rage

what does he know about science? fuck all this was rage driven, and possibly not the case

the below still applies

particularly what does he and seemingly every other politician know about climate change? fuck all
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 10:58, Reply)

Ok...
Climate change.

My understanding is:

It's happening anyway. It'd happen anyway if we were here or not.
We might be making it a bit faster. Oh well.

All of the "bad things" that it'll do are only "bad" because they inconvenience/kill humans.
Oh well.


Am I right?
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:00, Reply)

@Kaol
That's the way I look at global warming as well. We know that it's happened before, and it'll happen again.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:02, Reply)

@Kaol
You are almost entirely correct regarding climate change. I say almost, because we are almost certainly making it happen faster. Just how much faster though is as yet undecided.

And it will also inconvenience polar bears. And possibly penguins.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:02, Reply)

Morning Vipros :)
I can think of at least 8 "argh the world is going to end" panics.

I've stopped caring now. There is so much stuff that could go wrong but as long as there is still alcohol, cigarettes, chocolate and puppies* I think I will get by :p

*not those crazy inbred puppies
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:03, Reply)

Kaol
exactly right

what really boils my blood is when they harp on about global climate models

I make computer models for a living. much simpler ones granted, but a smaller version of the same thing essentially.

because we have bugger all in the way of calibration data most of the time, the results can only be trusted so far. and this is with about 5 variables.

a global climate model has far more variables than we can concieve, with no data available for calibration, and with processes far too complex to accurately model mathematically.

so essentially, a bad representation with crap data and no way of verifying it

and they spout the results of these models to the public without a hint of a warning that they might not be accurate.

Climate models were built 20 years ago and run, predictions for now were made. these all turned out wrong.

edit: re: inconvenciencing polar bears and penguins. last fairly authoritative stuff I read was that while the edges of the ice caps might be melting, the interior is actually thickening for the first time in thousands of years...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:04, Reply)

@kaol
Either we have different understandings of the term Phrenology (I had to look it up on wikipedia -_-) or you're taking the piss...
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:04, Reply)

good morning everyone
How was the weekend for everyone?
I hope it was a good one.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:06, Reply)

Cool.
I'm glad that I'm not delusional on that then.

Also, I hate polar bears, so it's all good.
Just think, if it if was a fuckin' huge ice-age on the way, the bastards could end up here *panics*
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:09, Reply)

@Vipros
To be fair to the climate modellers, they have run their latest models with an earlier starting date, and they "predict" the current climate trends pretty well. But then, the models are calibrated using historical data, so you would expect this behaviour.

You can't predict the future. You can make reasonable guesses at it, but exact predictions are impossible. If Yellowstone were to blow tomorrow, we'd have global cooling on a massive scale for several years, crops would fail, and billions might suffer/die. We don't know if or when that might happen, or exactly how much cooling would result.

Kaol would be in a good position though, with all his knives....
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:10, Reply)

Vipros
Polar bears hunt on the sea ice, so interior ice isn't such a big deal to them.
Just a point of interest really :)

Captain V: Yeah, I was joking :p

K2k6: I'm ready for global collapse, bring it on.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:11, Reply)

All this talk of apocalypse
Is making me wish I owned more knives.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:16, Reply)

It's ok
Capt'n, you live within walking distance of me.

I'm honour-bound to protect my OT-underlings.
Or to eat them if the going gets tough...
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:18, Reply)

Well that's reassuring
Until the need for cannibalism sets in.

I'll have to poison you in your sleep and just steal your knives
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:22, Reply)

*grins*
I'm so, so glad of my insomnia now :D

The fact I can easily stay awake for nearly a hundred hours, with no ill effects is a bonus in certain situations.

On the subject of knives, I looked to see what I've got under my pillow, knife-wise, and there were rather more than I expected...

Five is perhaps a little excessive...
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:25, Reply)

Fucksocks
I'd forgotten about that.

Perhaps I can bore you to death? Or poison your wine!

*starts singing Tenacious D*
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:27, Reply)

*crosses out "e" adds "t"*
*hums*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:29, Reply)

@Cap'n V
Come on now, you need to poison his vodka.

I hate delivery people.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:30, Reply)

Dammit TGB
I spent a good minute anxiously searching for the error in my post only to realise it was Kaol's error ='[
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:31, Reply)

I like to install
fear of grammatical errors into people though :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:34, Reply)

Fair enough
To be fair my reaction was a bit over the top. Nobody should suffer from psychomotor agitation at the thought of having made a mistake.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:35, Reply)

PoD
Delivery people suck.

My sister was waiting for a passport to be delivered.
The guy in the van turned up.
She heard the van pull up on out gravel drive, she walked to the front door, and by the time she'd opened it, he'd driven off.

The cunt had been there all of 20 seconds, hadn't even got out his van, then drove off.

Then they charged her £20 for "re-delivery".
Cunts.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:36, Reply)

*fears grammatical errors*
*fears hard*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:36, Reply)

TGB
*cough* shouldn't that be instill?

I fucking hate delivery people. the royal mail are the same as well.

numerous occasions I've been at home, heard the letterbox go, and found that it was an attempted delivery card for a package.

didn't even try knocking

I bet the cunts don't even have the stuff on the van
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:36, Reply)

I just hate it
When they say that they will deliver between 9 and 5. You know full well that they will probably deliver AT 5, but fear going out for the rest of the day in case you miss them.

All this for a router. Mergh.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:38, Reply)

Yes, yes it should...
I am ill though *looks sad*

And.. erm.. I make mistakes so you guys can correct them and feel clever about yourselves because I am just that nice. Or something.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:39, Reply)

I now have the fear
Of TBG running round installing a small chip into me that will cause the fear of grammatical errors. *runs and screams*
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:42, Reply)

Morning all (just)
Now my 'wanked himself square and round again' story is slipping down the ratings. Hint Hint.
www.b3ta.com/questions/customersfromhell/post235945

I've been to visit a very nice school today who say they will put me on their supply list and consider me for any full time posts.

How are we all?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:43, Reply)

Good news Mrs L!
let's hope something comes up!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:44, Reply)

mwahahhaha
My plan is working then :)

Hey Mrs L, I'm feeling a lot better than I did so yay!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:45, Reply)

Grats Mrs L
And nice to hear you're feeling better TGB.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:48, Reply)

Yes I will be back to my full grammar
Nazi status soon!

Be afraid!

Ok I am going delirious I am going to have lunch :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:54, Reply)

I'm going to pop into town for the sake of having a walk
And I need some apples.

Anyone need anything while I'm there?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:55, Reply)

Mrs Bin
Could you get me a Milky Way please?
*smiles sweetly*
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:58, Reply)

Delivery drivers
have a shit job, which is why I'm usually nice to them. But I have been un-nice once, to the admin staff, when I once stayed off work for a day when waiting for a keyboard to be delivered. It didn't turn up. So I phoned the company and complained.

The woman sort of apologised and said it would be delivered the next day. I asked if it could be delivered first thing and she gave all sorts of reasons why it couldn't, and that she could only say it would be before 1pm. Not wanting to take another day's holiday, I let my feelings on the subject be known.

She still didn't say I could have an early delivery, but then phoned back half an hour later to say one of their drivers lived near me and he'd drop it off on his way home.

Polite but firm complaining works.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:58, Reply)

Ha ha ha
Raikonnen cocked it up and Hamilton lost his position as smug, tax-evading winner. I am happy about this, and it has nothing to do with Massa reaching the heady heights of 5'7'' once he'd climbed onto the podium.

/controversial
( thealternativefact, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:59, Reply)

hahah the Massa comment made me laugh!
Ooh can I have a Mars bar please Mrs L :D
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 12:02, Reply)

Mr. K
I tend to get stuff delivered to work, there's always someone on reception.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 12:03, Reply)

The bloke who
picks up our stuff for courier is amazing, it's just a shame their delivery service is crap.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 12:03, Reply)

And now it's all gone quiet
*slices orange*

*chews slowly*

Just read an amazing story on the QOTW!
www.b3ta.com/questions/customersfromhell/post236833
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 12:15, Reply)

Lunchtiem
Methinks. Or the Zombocalypse.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 12:18, Reply)

I'm going to eat some lunch soon
And consider how best to achieve retirement by the age of 30.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 12:19, Reply)

My lunch isn't 'til
One.

*shrugs*

Ah well.

Captain V: Industrial accident. I'll arrange it, but I want 30% of the pay-out.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 12:19, Reply)

My brain
seems to be not working proper today.
I'm trying to write two answers for QOTW but it's not happening.
*gives up for the moment*

I love that post btw Kaol!
( wanderlust, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 12:20, Reply)

I like your thinking Kaol
But avoiding permanent disability will be tough

*ponders*
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 12:22, Reply)

Woe is me
Woe # 1 : Slight to moderate hangover
Woe # 2 : One of the cats has pissed on the kitchen floor
Woe # 3 : Which I trod in
Woe # 4 : In bare feet
Woe # 5 : In the slithery, looking for kitchen roll manoevre, I also drop my book. Into the piss-puddle.
Woe # 6 : Being somewhat grumpy from the above, I slammed down my mug. My official 'Dad's Wiley Coyote touch this and DIE' Mug. And the handle has come off.

I hate Mondays.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 12:22, Reply)

I am still floating about
But I am reading through the QOTW :)

The director just walked in stated "Fucking salad sucks, if we were supposed to eat salad we would have long ears and buck teeth" then put his arms on his head and waved them aboutto demonstrate long floppy ears and did a very good buck tooth impression.

I laughed so much I almost fell off my chair :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 12:25, Reply)

Osok
*offers a finest K-tech man-hug*
I hate Mondays too.
At least the cat didn't piss in your mouth...

Wanderlust: I loved that story too! Whoever wrote it must be amazing.

Captain V: You'll lose blood, but not much flesh. A lot of blood. Like... Half.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 12:28, Reply)

I'll have to start growing my incisors then
So that I can suck your blood.

muahahahahaha
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 12:35, Reply)

Er...
How's that gonna help you retire by the time you're thirty?

Also, you don't want my blood, it's full of dodgy chemicals.
I'm not allowed to donate blood, so I don't think drinking it would be the best of ideas.

Also, does the V now stand for "Vampiristic"?
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 12:37, Reply)

I must take my leave
to attend a bloody meeting.

Back later.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 12:38, Reply)

Woe 2. The Sequel
AND one of the furry shit-machines has laid a nice fresh cat egg under the table in the garden, as I found out when I ventured out for some soothing tobacco borne vitamins.

If I could ID the guilty party I'd be sharpening my CRKT gutting/skinning blade as we speak.

Remember folks, EVERYTHING tastes like chicken if cooked properly.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 12:40, Reply)

The drinking of blood will ensure my survival after losing half of my own!
Perhaps I shall drink the blood of a hapless nearby (non Kaol) person.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 12:40, Reply)

I am starting to wonder
if you have already incurred a rather large blood loss Captain V :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 12:53, Reply)

Lunchtime!
I need to stop listening to sad songs, I'm feeling fragile.

Bloody Jeff Buckley!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:00, Reply)

@TGB
It must be said the thought of wearing a Dracula esque cape did get me rather excited.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:01, Reply)

noon al
I'm thinking of making biscuits for Wednesday night.

I'm excited!
( wanderlust, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:06, Reply)

I'll draw
as many willies as you like.
( wanderlust, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:08, Reply)

Oi, Lusty!
You said yesterday you don't know what they look like! I smell pork pies;)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:10, Reply)

I am also good as I think I have 6 coming to the Leam bash
And Pooflake will probably provide enough entertainment for all :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:12, Reply)

@Bk
I meant real life willys! I know what magenta cocks look like...but only because of b3ta!
( wanderlust, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:14, Reply)

It's me again!
Hey! There's a new chapter for your delectation:

Chapter Seven: Partically Perfect in Every Way

Go read! and leave me feedback/comments if you want to!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:14, Reply)

Of course..
Glad I went to pub last night. I was in fine fettle again by the end of the evening.
Bit rough today though:)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:15, Reply)

@al
It's true!
I must be the most innocent person on b3ta.

What?!
( wanderlust, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:24, Reply)

I'm almost believing it
The boobie jiggling is purely for fun, and she has no idea the effect it has on manly types.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:29, Reply)

Definitely not
The nipple tassles just looked so pretty.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:33, Reply)

She doesn't know what seeman is
And has definitely not consumed the alcoholic variety

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/7593852.stm
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:34, Reply)

@al and BK
You're a pair of naughty little scamps.
Careful now, or I may have to put you over my knee.
( wanderlust, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:35, Reply)

Hmmm
Do we have to queue up and take a delicatessen ticket or can we have a knee each?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:37, Reply)

You will wait your turn
and do as I say!
( wanderlust, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:38, Reply)

Good enough for me
*takes ticket*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:41, Reply)

I do hope
the lovely people of the internets don't think I'm some kind of loose woman.
( wanderlust, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:53, Reply)

Woo!
The delivery people actually turned up, so I can go out cycling now since it's not raining for once.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:00, Reply)

Woo!
I'm back.

I've had alcohol, my arsehole of a manager has possibly quit and we're listening to Mudvayne, loudly :D
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:01, Reply)

I am also back
from my meeting.

Which was crap.

What would improve matters? Hmm, perhaps some jiggling?

*waits for response*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:04, Reply)

*returns*
*hands out chocolate bars*

Now, I'm making a cake and one of the ingredients is Guinness. The problem is I've got some left over.
Can anyone help me out and drink the rest of it?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:05, Reply)

I don't drink
Guinness I'm afraid.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:05, Reply)

Ooh,
I was listening to Mudvayne earlier.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:07, Reply)

Ooh,
I will be listening to Mudvayne later!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:10, Reply)

Good work BK!
I went to the market on Saturday and the lovely "2 albums for a fiver man" was there.
I got some Monster Magnet, Mudvayne, Rob Zombie, Therapy?, Raging Speedhorn and Stone Temple Pilots.
£15 well spent.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:11, Reply)

*observes Al's jiggling*
That's my own fault for not being sufficiently specific, I suppose.

Thank you for your efforts Al. It didn't really do it for me, but it's the thought that counts!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:12, Reply)

Nice!
Monster Magnet FTW!
Used to love Raging Speedhorn, but then discovered Iron Monkey, who blow them out the water.

*edit* and it will be Converge and Meshuggah on the way home. Off to see meshuggah in Sheffield on Wednesday, which is going some way to taking ym mind of lady troubles. *W00t*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:19, Reply)

I am currently listening..
To Machine Head for the first time in years.

*rocks*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:22, Reply)

Nice!
I've not got any gigs lined up.
I'd like to get some tickets to AC/DC, Scars On Broadway and Slipknot.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:23, Reply)

I CAN HAS JOB OFFER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
_{Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo}
YAY!

The e-mail I got is a bit 'off the record' and more of a heads-up than anything, and they still need to do some formal discussions, but it looks very promising.

* dances like a wild thing *

* hugs everyone within hugging distance *

How is everyone today?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:23, Reply)

Excellent news, spakka
You obviously don't believe that the world will end on Wednesday, when the LHC is switched on.

That's good, because to back up my information further up this page, I just found this.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:25, Reply)

Hurray!
Nice one, Spakka!

(Good linky K2k6. *sends to all doom-mongering friends*)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:34, Reply)

Oooh I wanna see scars on broadway
I saw they were at B'ham soon.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:39, Reply)

.
Re LHC: It would be a pity for the world to collapse into a black-hole just when I've finally gotten a job offer, but on the other hand, it just gives us an excuse to party harder.

* Joins in the jiggling *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:42, Reply)

@TGB
Scars on Broadway are playing Leeds in a few weeks. I shall youtube them tonight and check them out.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:44, Reply)

They are still quite SOADesq
So if you like SOAD you will probably like Scars.

I also like Serj's solo work, think he is playing Bham not long after Scars.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:47, Reply)

I have a soft spot for SOAD
I shall deffo give them a listen.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:48, Reply)

Re: Bashes
I won't be coming to the one on the 10th and the two on the 13th, but I'll be around for the ones on the 18th, 20th and 25th, and a secret micro-bash that's taking place somewhere. Seeing that I no longer have to go to any job interviews on the days between the 20th and 25th, I'm free to roam the country for a bit.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:49, Reply)

Woah
I don't know how many of you like Hip-hop, but Necro's brother Ill Bill has done some amazing collaborations (Max Cavalera, Dragonforce). It's pretty impressive if you like this kind of thing. www.myspace.com/illbill
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:54, Reply)

"A bit like SOAD"?
It's the guitarist/backing singer from SOAD!
Darren Malcajin or however you spell it.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:55, Reply)

I think it's 'Daron Malakian'...
But could be wrong.

Also: Get you Spakka, talking about 'secret' micro bashes!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:59, Reply)

I said
"still quite SOADesq"

As it is effectively SOAD minus Serj, but they haven't changed the sound much :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:07, Reply)

Is a micro bash
Just a b3tan with small genitals knocking one out?
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:07, Reply)

*scans above thread*
I can't believe someone has admitted to liking Raging Craphorn!

I'm listening to an Australian metal band called Karnivool who are pretty good.

got a buttload of monster magnet on the ipod at last as well.

plus clutch, who are aceness incarnate
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:08, Reply)

*ahem*
That someone was me!
For the record, I remember listening to them ages ago, but I took a risk and forked out £2.50 for the album.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:11, Reply)

How much constitutes a
'buttload', V?

*is curious, and not in a sexual way, honest guv*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:12, Reply)

a buttload
is 1/100th of a metric fucktonne

in mp3 terms, God says no, powertrip, dopes to infinity, monolithic baby, and 4 way diablo
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:13, Reply)

We're listening to
Dopes right now :D
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:14, Reply)

.
A microbash usually involves no more than two b3tans and is not mentioned on the calendar. I'll reveal details when I'm at my next bash.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:16, Reply)

*grins*
So I have microbashes most weekends then?
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:16, Reply)

Technically TGB
has them every day, as she lives with another b3tard!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:18, Reply)

I love that album
in fact I just generally love monster magnet

but Look to your orb for the warning is amazing
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:20, Reply)

Only at weekends kaol?
I'm disappointed in you.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:20, Reply)

I also live with another b3tan
Does that mean that when we have tea or are doing the washing up we're actually having micro bashes?
( wanderlust, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:21, Reply)

YAY I win!
*smugness*

Edit: Damn the impossibly slow load time of my work internet.

Lusty you probably win I don't see my housemate very much and he doesn't come to QOTW or /OT so he probably count much..
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:21, Reply)

I live with another b3tan...
I guess.
He's clever, sophisticated and awesome.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:23, Reply)

Awh,
Thank you Mr. KtM!
(Kaol - Scourge of Wales, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:24, Reply)

Kaol
your reflection/split personality doesn't count
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:24, Reply)

You're welcome
Young Mr. Kaol.

Vipros! Split personalities are people too :(
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:24, Reply)

Kaol the Magnificent
Living with "regular" Kaol doesn't count!

Edit: Seriously my load time sucks :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:25, Reply)

@Kaol
So there's constantly a permanent b3ta bash going on inside your head. That probably explains a lot of things.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:25, Reply)

Dopes to Infinity
is fantastic.

Clutch are all of the awesome. They were amazing (yet again) live the other week.

Slightly more esoteric but I recommend *Shels and the Sea of the Dying Dhow album. Aceness.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:26, Reply)

@TGB
Mine tends to lurk a fair bit.
He's a very nice man though and I'm not just saying that incase he's actually reading this and will be mean to me when I get home.

Edit: I hope he's not reading this actually, what with all the willy talk going on earlier on in the thread.
( wanderlust, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:27, Reply)

A quick question about my job-offer.
Do you think I should reply to my 'heads-up' informal e-mail or wait until I get a formal job offer? If I reply, they might think I'm too keen and not offer me such a high salary (I still haven't told them I got rejected by the other two companies). On the other hand, if I don't respond, they may think I'm heading to one of the the other two comanies and may withdraw the job-offer.

* is excited but still thinks they might change their mind *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:36, Reply)

Aww would he been mean?
You need to make sure he is ever so slightly scared of you... and he needs you to fix his car so has to be nice *grins*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:36, Reply)

He wouldn't really be mean.
If he was I'd just tell his mum, who also happens to be mine.
( wanderlust, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:46, Reply)

Wanderlust...
Kinda kills the "Your Mum! Lol!!" jokes, doesn't it?
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:48, Reply)

@kaol
Kind of, it is harder to 'lol' at someone's mother when you remember that they're your mummy too and actually quite nice.
( wanderlust, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:52, Reply)

Good news Spakka
*is pleased to hear someone else use 'metric fucktonne'*
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:58, Reply)

The joys of being an only child
That and you get more money spent on you. And you don't have to share stuff.

:p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:06, Reply)

Haha!
See, I'm the oldest of 3.
I guess I was a mistake/test run.
Ah well...
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:08, Reply)

Hold on there GB
I'm an only child and Father spends all his money on fast cars.
I am doing this wrong.

*edit* Tricky one Spakka. You could just reply with something along the lines of thanking them for the information but will wait for the official offer.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:10, Reply)

I'm a member of the
"Oh Fuck, I'm not doing that again" club. It's me, and only me. And I have divorced parents too - bonus!

Truly I am a child of generation X.

EDIT: Spakka, it's considered good form to acknowledge the informal offer. Of course, you're under no obligation to accept! You don't have to mention anything about any other interviews/rejections - that's nothing to do with them really. If they want you, it'll be on the basis of your performance at their interview, not the interviews you've had at other places.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:13, Reply)

Well I suppose it's more when you're little
My dad spends most of his money on my cars *evil laughter*

He bought me an awesome socket set for Christmas (imperial of course) and a fantastic screwdriver set as well which is awesome. And recently he popped by with some industrial strength penetration giggles fluid to eat through the rust that is holding my bumpers on.

I get the feeling if I was in to ponies I wouldn't get as much...

Hey DiT Hi five for the only child and divorced parents club *hi fives*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:16, Reply)

Father claims
he rolled over in his sleep once.
Mother wouldn't let him do that again and after that has worn winceyette nighties that do up to the neck ever since.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:16, Reply)

TGB
I thought you had to have a penis to be "into ponies"...
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:21, Reply)

.
Re LHC:
Glad the world isn't going to end. Have just done my shopping and would hate to think it was a wasted trip.

Re climate change:
The end of the ice-age happened gradually. Man made change could be more sudden. Earth has had different temperatures in the past, but the problem is to do with the rate of temperature change. If it changes slowly enough, ecosystems have a reasonable chance of moving or adapting.

Re delivery people:
They seem to be unaware that most of us spend all day in an office and not at home. Once when having a new self-assembly computer-desk delivered, I was lucky enough to be living in the same set of flats as someone who was home all day, so they just stored it in the hallway area for me to collect when I came back.

@Mrs. L:
And congratulations to you for getting on the supply-list.
As for the advice, I was thinking along the same lines too.

@Kaol:
I'm the oldest of two and also consider myself a prototype.

EDIT: Thanks DiT for the advice. The other two companies have rejected me, so I'm going to accept.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:23, Reply)

Thanks literal meaning Kaol!
:(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:23, Reply)

Spak
"Comuter desk"? Does it have wheels and an Oyster card?
EDIT: *grins*

TGB: The pleasure was all mine.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:25, Reply)

I've just heard my manager
on the phone to her friend asking her if "her lips are still swollen and sore?"

I'm trying so very hard not to laugh.
( wanderlust, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:26, Reply)

@Kaol
Meant to say 'computer desk'. But it would be nice if my desk had powered wheels. I could just tie my chair to the desk and let my computer do the navigating.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:29, Reply)

@al
So does wanderlust's manager's friend have a set of labia on her face?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:31, Reply)

@al
I know, I think b3ta has ruined me and now I think nearly everything is naughty :(
( wanderlust, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:31, Reply)

Shame on you, Lusty.
Quimrot is no laughing matter.

Anyone have any suggestions for what to name the drink I invented at the weekend? It is an unholy combination of Pimms and Relentless, and it was surprisingly pleasant - not actually pleasant, of course, but far less horrendous than I was expecting it to be.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:33, Reply)

Hmmm...
Wookiee, what colour was it?

Kinda morning-piss-after-lots-of-real-ale brown?
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:34, Reply)

@WGW
Suprising Relentless Pimms?

or

Suprise me with a Relentless Pimms?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:36, Reply)

@wookie
Quimrot?! haha I think you have the name for your drink right there!
( wanderlust, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:37, Reply)

It looked rather like real ale, only with no head.
Bizarrely, it tasted a bit like Jagermeister.

Spakka - I fear your names are a little unweildy.

EDIT - Wanderlust, you might be on to something!
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:39, Reply)

@lust
If she'd said that her flaps were all swollen and sore, then you'd have even more cause to laugh, and with less ambiguity.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:40, Reply)

@WGW
Cocktail names are usually unwieldy. Maybe you could call it "Fool's Jagermeister".
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:40, Reply)

Hmmm...
I've got "Relent-piss" going round and round in my head.

However, that sounds like something that'd be an anti-diuretic.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:41, Reply)

@K2k6
But surely, the humour lies in the ambiguity.
But the word 'flaps' is inherently funny.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:42, Reply)

@BK
Yes, I know. But you do always laugh when you hear the word 'flaps'. Even in the aeroplane context!

Right, I'm off home.

See you all tomorrow.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:44, Reply)

@wookie
I can see it now. You're at a party, conversing with a young lady and she stops mid-sentence to say "ohhh excuse me, I'll be back in a minute. I've just got to get some ice for my Quimrot."
( wanderlust, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:45, Reply)

Kaol - the best I've come up with is "Pissed O'clock".
Lusty - a line like that would leave me putty in her hands.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:48, Reply)

@Kaol
I've just spent about five minutes pissing myself at Monkey Rapture, and now it's in your sig, which has set me off again.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:50, Reply)

My favorite "cocktail"
That I "invented" (I'm sure others have come up with the same thing, independently) is Red Diesel.

The original recipe was Snakebite and Black with three shots of vodka in the pint.

EDIT: Monkey Rapture for the win!
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:51, Reply)

Once
My ex bandmates and I came up with the 'Mother Slug' (another Monster Magnet reference I believe). It was a shot of tequila with a dash of coke and a blob of chocolate sauce that sat in the glass liek a slug. You had to swirl it before drinking so the slug didn't stick.
It didn't catch on, unsurprisingly.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:54, Reply)

I've learned that
If a drink is so good that you pass out after a night of drinking it, the recipe will be lost to the world forever.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 16:59, Reply)

@Bk
That made me feel like being sick just thinking about it.
I think the worst 'cocktail' I've ever had was greek communion wine and baileys. The only way I can think to describe it was it tasted like wrong.
( wanderlust, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 17:02, Reply)

Ah Kaol,
you've just reminded me of the Drunken Blonde. One of the finest drinks ever devised, but of the dozen or so of us who were making and drinking them not one has any clue what the ingredients were.

Lusty, I ordered a Squashed Frog in the pub 'round the corner from work, and all was going well as the grenadine, midori and baileys were carefully layered. Then the dozy barmaid stirred it.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 17:02, Reply)

Right
I'm off home.

Laters all.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 17:03, Reply)

I think the worst one I ever had was
Ouzo, white wine, Tabasco sauce and gin.

What the fuck was I thinking?
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 17:06, Reply)

Ouzo and orange juice
should never be mixed.
Trust me on that.
( wanderlust, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 17:09, Reply)

Oh...
I remember another one!
Satan-Juice.

Orange Juice.
Mint Cordial.
Pernod.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 17:11, Reply)

I had a really nice one
That involved pretty much everything this guy could find. And salt. It tasted horrible without the salt but really nice with!

I think coffee and gravy granules were also in the recipe..........
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 17:12, Reply)

@Kaol
Your quote about the recipe being lost forever inspired me to post this top tip.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 17:14, Reply)

Eeeew!
I'd still try it though...

Right, time to go to my studio* for some recording-type-fun.

Catch you loveable retards tomorrow!
*grins*

*may or may not be a shed in my mate's garden
( Cawl, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 17:16, Reply)

best cocktail
a screaming blue motherfucker
vodka, gin, triple sec, blue curacao, lots of ice
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 17:45, Reply)

Cheeky Vimto
Port and Blue WKD.

Sacrilege
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 18:22, Reply)