Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Well at least that thread didn't descend into another FASCINATING discussion of the London housing market.Who's the best telly gay? I like that one with the shit teeth. I bet he goes like a train.
Alt: summat about stamp duty or fucking tube stations
(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:15, 193 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
HAHAHAHA MY JOB IS ACE YOURS IS 'DREARY' lolboring
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:16,
Reply)
lol easy there Ballbo BagginsYour lack of self awareness is showing
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Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:21,
Reply)
this might be the most unknowingly ironic thing ever typed into the internet(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:22, Reply)
she's pretty boring when it comes to dull repetitive arguing with you too cheers(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:22,
Reply)
Maybe you should close your eyes and shag her more often ... she seems more than a little bit up tight and frustrated.(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:23, Reply)
she isn't really, i think she just thinks you're a bit of a prick.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:26,
Reply)
I've got a creative writing degree. It's from a Welsh ex mining college.This is not a proper degree, qualifies me for fucking nothing and is absolutely no basis for attempting to lord it over other people.
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Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:18,
Reply)
And yet you're still one of the best ones here.It's almost as if academic success has no useful correlation with internet lolity.
(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:20, Reply)
Yeah, speaking as somebody in possession of oneI'm pretty sure I'd never class a creative writing degree as anything approaching "academic success".
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Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:26,
Reply)
Hey my degree is in the Performing ArtsPossibly the least useful of all degrees, you don't even have to be able to write
(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:33, Reply)
Only part timeit happily coincided with there being a lot of fit dancer ladies on the course
(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:38, Reply)
Preaching to the converted here mate, i start by bustin' a move, by the end of the night i'm bustin' a nut.IN A LADY SUCH AS YOU ARE MUM IS FACE!!!
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:46,
Reply)
I'm SO glad everybody's brushing my relatively minor grammatical boo boo under the carpet.(
Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:47,
Reply)
my mate did dentistry because it had the highest level of women of any science or medicine coursethen switched because Ewwwww ... sticking your hand in stinky rotten gobs for the love of God what sort of a life is that!??!
(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:42, Reply)
Doesnt it also have one of the highest suicide rates of any "medical" profession(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:44, Reply)
I think so.If you ever read about somebody gassing themselves in a Porsche in their double garage, 4 to 1 says it's a dentist.
(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:47, Reply)
I did that at A level Bongo.You're like my Jock life double.
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Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:36,
Reply)
One of the girls on my masters course already had a masters degree In modern poetry. I thought that was probably the biggest waste of academic space ever.
She's training to be a circus gymnast now, 2 masters degrees later. Her parents must be proud.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:41,
Reply)
I know someone else here with a creative writing degreeIt is not a proper degree, qualifies them for fucking nothing and is absolutely no basis for attempting to lord it over other people.
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Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:41,
Reply)
So do I.Though you'll need to thank Lighty. It was his Facebook commentary that inspired it.
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Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:48,
Reply)
Woah, hang on, it qualifies you for loads of depressing graduate employment schemes in dull offices on dreary industrial estates. Be part of the new working class.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:41,
Reply)
I'll have you know that I'm a New Tradesman.Doesn't stop my company from wanting to put an entirely fallacious "Engineer" in my job title, though.
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Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:42,
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My badge says engineer. I'd say I was more of a technician.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:47,
Reply)
If I was an engineer, my degree wouldn't be a pointless arts course from a third rate poly.(
Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:49,
Reply)
I dropped out 6 months in to a history degree. I wish I hadn't.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:53,
Reply)
Whereas I wish I hadn't taken the degree I did.Give it a few years of experience and I might decide to do a sound engineering degree to justify the job title a little.
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Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:56,
Reply)
Is "fucking tube stations" a slack minge euphemismlike "opening the window and fucking the night"?
(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:20, Reply)
A gay friend of mine hates the scene, and absolutely despises the rise of telly queens.He puts the blame pretty squarely at Larry Grayson's feet, I think.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:22,
Reply)
I bet that isn't the only thing that was laid at Grayson's feet ... if you know what I mean.(I have no idea what I mean)
(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:24, Reply)
Him with the teeth I find annoying.I liked the Irish one when he was in Father Ted, but generally I find camp quite irritating.
Mrs V is a right gay-hag. She watches that new Changing-Rooms-Poshed-Up "interior design" programme, and there's loads on there.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:32,
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Best of all the Forever Alone activities.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:36,
Reply)
Richard Attenborough is the best Gay. I reckon it's him that started aids.
Alt: I think encouraging people to believe they are entitled to buy their own property is a mistake. More regulation of rent and let the rich get on with it.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:34,
Reply)
I just want to be able to bang a nail into a wall without asking somebody's permission first.(
Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:35,
Reply)
And you shall, I'm not saying don't buy a house, I'm just saying the system is stupid, and landlords ought to allow tenants to make improvements in their homes.
Like, 1st year, do nothing. 2nd year, minor works, 3rd year decoration control. 4th year, go ahead, take a wall down. And then if they do damage, there should be legal means to recoup any loss of value or cost of repair on a property.
Although, this wouldn't count for those on benefits, because they not people
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:45,
Reply)
I had a dude at my old firm who had been renting the house since the 80's. He insisted he owned it. Because the landlord was from Pakistan, and "only Brits can own british property".
I was sad that one never went to court. I'd have loved to see him run that argument, the racist old fuckwit.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:48,
Reply)
So how did he explain paying rent? (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:52,
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"The social chose to do it"It was one of those bonkers old rent act tenancies so he's probably still there paying an absolute fraction of market value. He'd done millions of "repairs" without permission and whilst some of them were ok, some of them were frankly horrendous, eg replacing an entire lovely lawn with 80's crazy paving... Hence claiming it was his house to do what he wanted with, when the landlord inspected and went spare...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:55,
Reply)
Fantastic. He sounds like a hoot.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:04,
Reply)
he'll have barricaded himself in and be threatening the police with a defused WW2 grenade by now(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:21, Reply)
WhyIOughta!The frogs and krauts and vikings have managed it much better.
But they all drink shit lager.
A coincidence?
Yes.
(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:36, Reply)
Hang on, i quite like lager(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:42,
Reply)
and have you managed your economy such that affordable housing is readily available and isn't comprised of awful little boxes on soulless identikit developments aimed purely to squeeze the maximum amount of bedrooms into the smallest amount of land?(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:44, Reply)
My personal economy has me living in a nice period terrace in the heart of one of England's prettiest and richest cities. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:45,
Reply)
The North? God no. Christ man I'm no animal. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:56,
Reply)
Well I didnt think Chelmsford was that wealthy so I went further afield (, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:01, Reply)
It's nice there. I don't live there. It's very expensive there
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:14,
Reply)
When I kicked around that there Oxford it was one of the cheaper areas to buyLot of artist houses etc. there were constant plans to knock the whole area down and redevelop which would rile the locals
(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:21, Reply)
Hi mate!I live in a lovely period terrace house in a desirable Victorian suburb mere minutes away from the centre of one of Europe's most beautiful medieval cities with a rich cultural, political and ecclesiastical heritage!
It's dull as fuck though, it's stuck in the 90s or sutin.
(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:11, Reply)
but high levels of property ownership is one of the reasons the basic state pension is so lowIf you take action on rents then you need to address state pension provision as well.
Then again, anyone without private pension savings is an irresponsible tossed and deserves to be homeless as an OAP.
(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:37, Reply)
I don't need to do anything. Fucko(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:42,
Reply)
Gandalfalt. I don't care I bought the biggest house I will ever need for my first house. 4 bed is more than enough for a family of 4. Mind you, I'm going to get fucked over in the divorce so maybe I should care. Whats the stamp duty going to be on a bedsit? Don't start me on the tube though. Fucking packed at Redruth Tube this morning, took me over 40 minutes to get to Penzance and I had to change at Helston because the old Dolcoath line wasn't running.
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Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:44,
Reply)
This is a bit long for me to bother reading, but everyone else seems to like it so I'm clicking 'I like this!' assuming it's at least mildly amusing(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:51,
Reply)
What about "oh cornwall"?I've seen people put that before although i dunno what it means soz
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:53,
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It's almost a country, and it's full of farmers. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:55,
Reply)
I like Cornwall, I'd happily live there.DEAL WITH IT.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:57,
Reply)
I'm a north Devon fan myself. Maybe we should join forces, invade the South West and declare ourselves kings. We could have jousting tournaments and all sorts of fun.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:59,
Reply)
i'm up for it, maybe in the new year though, and after my birthday (8th jan btw) as i'm busy until then(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:01,
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What is going down for your birthday? (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:03,
Reply)
Ummmm I'm king here and you are welcome here but if you try and take my throne i'll throw carrots at you(
Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:06,
Reply)
Okay I'm not prepared to chance it, I'll just visit and maybe buy a holiday home so I can come and see you but have somewhere more private to do big poos and wees (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:07,
Reply)
Awwwww, you'd be welcome to do even massive poo's at my house. we would even all go out for a n hour to give you privacy.(
Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:15,
Reply)
Look, Joe, can I call you Joe? You don't have a leg to stand on. Me and Paul are going to invade, Joe, and if you stand in the way, you gonna get hurt.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:08,
Reply)
You need a pretend name like me and Joe.Imma call you WARK
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:16,
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As a resident of ZummerzetI think I might stage an uprising.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:11,
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"The Cornish Tube was thrown into chaos at peak commuter time this Tuesday morning"when Old Dalziel's donkey died leaving the 07:32 cart to Leominster stranded"
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Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:51,
Reply)
The thing is That you're a cyclist and therefore worse than hitler bbq-ing a kitten whilst singing steps songs
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:52,
Reply)
I've not ridden my bike even for fun since I passed my testI hate myself for it.
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Peej, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:57,
Reply)
IMMA GONNA STEAL YOUR CHILDRENoh hang on that sounds a bit bad dunnit
(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:02, Reply)
It's fine, I don't have any, so at worst you sound like you're going to nick swipes womb and all the other required attachments and wank me off into a suitable storage recepticle all of which is perfectly normal and you shouldn't be ashamed of it(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:04,
Reply)
Well, who hasn't thought of doing *that* at some time or other?(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:06,
Reply)
I think about it about twice a day usually when I'm having some me time(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:08,
Reply)
Alright b3th.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:58,
Reply)
Pretty good yeah. Hiding in the van for a bit.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:06,
Reply)
Naturally. How's brizzle.?
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:08,
Reply)
Not been since the last Jeffstock.I'm venturing out there two days before xmas to go shopping with my mum, which should be 'fun'.
Weston, on the other hand, is cold, dreary, and full of pikeys.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:11,
Reply)
Of course, Soz, I have fond memories of the pier at westoon There was a game that was only 20p and I won twice and got a teddy
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:13,
Reply)
I went to Weston when I was 14 and some girl I'd just met wanked me off in the public toilets on the sea frontexcellent place
(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:13, Reply)
in my extensive experience of three Bristol houses, they all have far too many stairs(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:12, Reply)
I like her. I also like Toksvig. I can't think of a single male that I like.I'm some sort of reverse homo racist.
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Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 11:58,
Reply)
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:00,
Reply)
Not all dykes drink beeryou horrible homophobe.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:12,
Reply)
yes ... but I drink beer and would happily do so in the company of Sue PerkinsI would also happily buy her a Manhattan or a Babycham or whatever celebrity television gays drink these days.
(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:15, Reply)
HIYA!!!Ive just done a load of online shopping. Christmas presents almost done.
Just need to buy for this new guy im dating then that's it.
Garish outfit for the Christmas do done. I feel motivated!
Im going to go for Stephen Fry. not literally though.
alt. Who sends letters anymore? I quite like Covent Garden
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:12,
Reply)
Dating? Guy? DATING A GUY? WHAT THE FUCK!!! How can a guy date another guy???(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:15,
Reply)
You want a diagram?Usually with cocktails, followed by rough sex.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:18,
Reply)
Are you a girl? I thought Jason was a mans name(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:18,
Reply)
Oooh, good call on Stephen Fry.Bit needy, mind.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:16,
Reply)
Yeah Iw as gonna add when he wasn't bloo blooing(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:17,
Reply)
I get to send off a huuuuuuge invoice today for a project a client pulled out of 95% of the way through. He's accepted it with no issues what so ever, it's his issue that it went down, not mine.... gutted that a great project is being pulled, but well pleased that i'm getting paid anyway.
YAY I GET TO DO CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:13,
Reply)
Hah, gotta go cyprus in jan, it'll all go on that.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:27,
Reply)
Hah, i've been thinking about getting a dog again, and going work-from-home properly.I'd want that more than anythign in the world.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:43,
Reply)
You know you'd have to walk it twice a day? As in leave the flat and walk several miles everyday?that or tie it to a bus
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:48,
Reply)
not if he gets one of those ridiculous little short-legged mutant onesthey'd be knackered just walking to the corner shop for a bag of tangfastics
(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:51, Reply)
I'm not sure a girlfriend is on the cards at this point(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:55,
Reply)
My friend just got a baby pugIt's pretty cute in a ridiculous way
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:53,
Reply)
Hanukah m8 I wouldnt want to tell you how to Jew but I think this is a big distinction (, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:28, Reply)
Graham Chapman for a dead telly gay. Stephen Fry for a live one. Mornington Crescent is my least favourite tube station after being forced to play the Mornington Crescent game with stoned people for nearly 20 minutes. I didn't get it.
(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:16, Reply)
"I can't print to letterhead paper, it's ok when printing to plain, though"Fucking printer was turned off. I'm so glad I'm leaving.
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Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:21,
Reply)
The other week in my NON IT JOBI was called with the printer doesn't work. I asked them if the PAT testing guys were still there and if they could possibly have unplugged the printer
(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:27, Reply)
I worked at a place where only pat tested kit was allowed to be plugged in.I soon sorted that by spending a quid on ebay for a roll of stickers.
cool story, etc.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:31,
Reply)
I fail to see what qualifications mulleted 80s reject has to test electrical equipment(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:38,
Reply)
Aren't they all gay on the telly? - I thought it was a prerequisiteThe changes to stamp duty appear to be one way of making it fairer. I don't use tube stations.
HTH
(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:21, Reply)
Michael Barrymore was a pretty good gay. as long as he's kept away from water. Like potassium. Or a gremlin.
(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:28, Reply)
I suppose harters has very little to live for anyway(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:42,
Reply)
he better live another couple of weeksI don't like hare that's hung for more than a couple of days ... smells like somebody has shat out a liver
(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:46, Reply)
"Salzella shrugged. "We've got to do this properly. Did you know Dr Undershaft was strangled before he was hung?"
"Hanged", said Bucket, without thinking. "Men are hanged. It's dead meat that's hung".
"Indeed?" said Salzella. "I appreciate the information. Well, poor old Undershaft was strangled, apparently. And then he was hung."
(, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:54, Reply)
A better joke would a grown man in a comedy t-shirt rocking a pleather bumbag(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:59,
Reply)
I made a mong goose joke on here many years agoso what's happening at 12:30 on Sunday?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:04,
Reply)
I land back in the uk after going to Benidorm for a work Xmas booze up I could happily not attend(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:05,
Reply)
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