not posting in a baggy thread.
I just hit myself in the crotch with a ring spanner. What's the stupidest work mistake you've made recently?

Alt: Valentine's? Are you alone? I'm cooking and doing romantically orientated stuff.

Altalt: Who is the best one here?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:27, 133 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

urghh and when I just made all that effort to post in the other thread.
I am alone, I have no plans hopefully I will be well by then and can at least leave the house.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:30, Reply)

you still dying then? maybe it's your body telling you you're allergic to romance.
Hence the missed date abd the proximity to valentines.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:35, Reply)

That must be it.
I think it'll make sense to postpone any "date" until after valentines anyway. I say date we were only going to meet for a coffee/drink.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:40, Reply)

gotta start somewhere.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:50, Reply)

I might start by blaming her for my tonsilitis.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:54, Reply)

I rarely make mistakes at work, if one happens it's probably a failure of the system.
Alt: Going to upset my wife by surprising her with some of her friends.
Altalt: Frog, Windy Pig, possibly others.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:30, Reply)

upsetting your wife is a great valentines tradition.
I think I might go for food poisoning this year, really spice up the morning after.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:35, Reply)

Obvious 'ring spanner' joke goes here.

( Muns, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:31, Reply)

What sort of spanner do you give your other half on valentines day?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:32, Reply)

A good torquing to?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:37, Reply)

It's heartwrenching stuff

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:38, Reply)

I just go finger tight, then nuts deep.

( Muns, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:37, Reply)

I don't make mistakes, I just correct everyone elses round here m8.
Alt: That's private, soz.
Altalt: Tangles/Windy Pig
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:32, Reply)

i had a client who asked me to "lick" the landlord's arse instead of "kick" it
that amused me.

alt: not really bothered for valentines, so long as i get pretty flowers, the rest of it can meh off.

altalt: should ask who's the worst one here, that'll cause moar UPSET.

we saw a horrible man yanking a gay windydog along the street because it tried to sniff things yesterday, i wanted to swerve the car and run him over.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:36, Reply)

any cruelty to little gay dogs should be met with over the top cartoon violence.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:38, Reply)

You must really hate Windys dog

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:38, Reply)

haha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:39, Reply)

andithankyou

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:40, Reply)

lol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:44, Reply)

She's definitely retained the right solicitor.
Is there pizza in it for you?
( Muns, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:38, Reply)

It's ok to say me, I'm sure Frog won't mind.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:38, Reply)

I'd agree

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:39, Reply)

Turning up Weepee...just turning up :(
Alt: I really need to plan ahead and take her somewhere nice

Alt:alt: Mince unfortunately I have to admit, unless he's in a slagging match with Emvee.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:37, Reply)

Turning up
Alt: Good excuse for lunch and cinema with the missus, other than that valentines day can fuck right off.

Altalt: Wet Ham Man
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:41, Reply)

Last real work mistake was disabling a trigger on a table so I could manually update some rows and forgetting to enable it again afterwards
I only noticed when two months worth of auditing was mysteriously missing. Felt like a right cotton-headed ninnymuggins so I did! /sqllols
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:45, Reply)

oh boy ... you and psychodweeb should put together an anthology of work anecdotes

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:14, Reply)

tr

N
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:15, Reply)

Altalt: BigRammifiactions

(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:44, Reply)

Valentine's is a load of nonsense.
We're going 'round to a friend's house to party.

the best one here is Dozer. Or McBeef.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:51, Reply)

Your wife is having an affair with your friend.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:55, Reply)

FRIEND

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:56, Reply)

He could be in for an Old Man River FRIEND show,

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:02, Reply)

I don't know what this is but it sounds splendid.

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:06, Reply)

needs more desperate references to DRUGZ
and stolen flowers
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:13, Reply)

I hope so - I've asked them to several times, and if I can watch.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:11, Reply)

why not just subscribe to her webcam like the rest of us?

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:17, Reply)

Silly - I'd be paying myself!

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:34, Reply)

do it through HSBC Switzerland and you're laughing

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:35, Reply)

^ An accountant

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:49, Reply)

that's it ... I don't have to stand for this kind of offensive bullying
I'M LEAVING FIVEVER
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:52, Reply)

^ upset

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:57, Reply)

I dropped my Big Issues in a puddle because I'd drunk too much white cider.
Alt: food and drink and dancing and shagging
Altalt: prolly dozer ... he's shit but he causes most upset with the least apparent effort

Edit: shut up, you prick, it's clearly Drimble
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 15:55, Reply)

I recently falsified safety certification for a critical component of an aging nuclear reactor.
Everything seems to be working out OK, but I misplaced my favourite pen in the process.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:10, Reply)

falsified safety certification for a critical component of an aging nuclear reactor.
Everything seems to be working out OK, but I misplaced my favourite pen in the process. attempted suicide because of an uncontrollable sexual fascination with young children
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:11, Reply)

top stuff

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:15, Reply)

Trying to free up some space on a unix box
I attempted to delete a directory way down a chain of archive directories called "home" but instead of typing "rm -rf home" I typed "rm -rf /home". How the boss laughed! I say laughed, it was more "threatened me with the sack".

Alt: Hadn't really thought about it, as I assumed we were too worldly wise to fall for that marketing guff. But I discovered earlier that I am very much in the minority of our relationship on that one, so need to figure something out pronto.

AltAlt: bollocks parrot
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:11, Reply)

send her flowers at work
easy, effective, done.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:12, Reply)

But then the colleagues of Mrs Lighty will know she has a boyfriend.
She might not have mentioned it. Lighty has been pretty coy about things.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:14, Reply)

she can tell them it's a secret admirer

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:14, Reply)

relationship? I didn't realise etc etc never mentioned etc etc

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:12, Reply)

Just get some candles and some food from M&S or waitrose (the romantic supermarkets)
have a shower and be nice to her.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:18, Reply)

<s>most of that</s>, golden, etc etc
zzzzz
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:20, Reply)

I don't think even the people who are into golden showers consider it something particularly romantic.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:21, Reply)

mmmm yeah ... the romance of the ready meal and basic personal hygiene
bow chikka bow!
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:21, Reply)

They can smell your wife in Holland

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:22, Reply)

a surprisingly popular service

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:24, Reply)

and this is why you're the best one here

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:25, Reply)

thanx hun

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:32, Reply)

Sometimes just spending time alone with your partner is enough.
LOL
(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:23, Reply)

if you don't regularly spend time alone with them then they don't count as your partner
that's just somebody you're stalking
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:24, Reply)

you wally.
I upset our unix box by turning on autoextends on a database without realising the drive had fuck all space left on it.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 17:25, Reply)

alt alt: me

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:24, Reply)

My work doesn't really give me cause to make a massive mistake.
When I started working in the bars many moons ago, I fucked up a keg change and almost a whole keg erupted on the ceiling.
I was alone so managed to contain it after a few attempts. I was stinking of beer for the day but there's nothing new there.

alt. Obvs Im all bloo bloo alone now but I'll probably wrangle a date out of some poor unsuspecting victim this week. Im chatting to a good few guys ;)

altalt. Why YOU of course.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:27, Reply)

why can't you homos get your own holidays instead of hijacking decent Christian holidays

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:33, Reply)

it's hardly a holiday, dear.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:36, Reply)

Everyday is a holiday if you don't have a job

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:37, Reply)

it really is, petal
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine%27s_Day
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:39, Reply)

"It is celebrated in many countries around the world, although it is not a holiday in most of them"
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:56, Reply)

LIKE THIS ONE

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:57, Reply)

This'll cheer you all up.
youtu.be/f0315xbv5Gk
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:30, Reply)

I'll only cheer up when one of you lot dies in a car accident

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:33, Reply)

ch ch

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:33, Reply)

check it out
W w w w what's it all about?
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:45, Reply)

Worst mistake: deciding to work with an agency that underpaid me, is staffed entirely by incompetent arseholes and is continuing to try to waste my time on a daily basis.

Alt: answered this one in the other thread earlier.

Altalt: dunno, let's fight for it.
( .Yeti., Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:35, Reply)

Maybe if you had tried harder at school

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:37, Reply)

you could have got a decent job

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:40, Reply)

if you have to try hard at school then you've already failed

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:45, Reply)

You all sound like Homer Simpson or something.
"You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is: never try."
( .Yeti., Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:47, Reply)

and look where that philosophy got you

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:48, Reply)

straight As and a doctorate

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:48, Reply)

nobody cares

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:50, Reply)

you and Dimbo Foodfail are obsessed with it

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:51, Reply)

Dunno about that.
What is curious is that you seem to think that a mediocre academic record turns you into some kind of superhero.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:53, Reply)

do I?

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:59, Reply)

How else do you explain the tights?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 17:00, Reply)

THEY KEEP MY LEGS WARM, OK!?

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 17:01, Reply)

Russel Group Man!

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 17:01, Reply)

I mean ... granted, it makes me an intellectual giant compared to Chubby and her creative writing
but you and her are the only people who ever mention it
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 17:01, Reply)

^ had to move to cambridge so people think it's from a good university ^

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:56, Reply)

see? obsessed

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:59, Reply)

But he got an offer from Cambridge!!
He turned it down and went to Birmingham cos they are better for maths ACTUALLY!!!
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 17:04, Reply)

Genuinely obsessed and upset.

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 17:06, Reply)

This guys letter is well lol
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-31305813
(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 16:58, Reply)

Do you recon he used to post on QOTW?

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 9 Feb 2015, 17:00, Reply)