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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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sally nugent y/n
Alt: best way for DBT to kill his family
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 15:53, 175 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
No idea who she is.
He should probably not do that, I doubt it's particularly easy to get away with the murder of your family members.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 15:59, Reply)
he should definitely do it, then burn down his pub

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:00, Reply)
They always seem to catch arsonists pretty quickly.
Maybe he should just be a bit lazy with the health and saftey and cross his fingers.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:05, Reply)
As a doctor, he could make it look like an accident.
As an idiot, he'd probably think stabbing them and then sewing the wound shut with dental floss would hide the cause of death.
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:10, Reply)
The old floss trick?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:11, Reply)
That's like day one in medical school isn't it?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:16, Reply)
Day one was finding the toilets, canteen and class a suppliers.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:18, Reply)
What you should do is swallow a reel of dental floss, keeping about three feet of floss hanging out of your mouth.
When you poo the other end out, tie both ends together around the handrail on a bridge, then throw yourself off.
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:20, Reply)
Yes, that would definitely work...

(PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:22, Reply)
I've seen that Columbo. Nimoy was in that one.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:50, Reply)
the best columbo had Johnny Cash as the muderer

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:53, Reply)
The shatner ones were alright as well.
The one where he uses a video machine as an alibi was the better one imo.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:02, Reply)
'Accidentally' venting CO2 throughout the pub, causing them all to suffocate.
All so he can claim on the insurance to avoid bankruptcy. Guilt takes over and he kills himself by loosening a kegs spear by hand, whilst standing over it. The blood and piss weak lager mix is later sold by brewdog as a craft beer.
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:03, Reply)
an early contender

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:06, Reply)
<s>sally</s> SHITPANTS
HE SHIT HIMSELF HERE AT HOME
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:04, Reply)
Never heard of her
Alt: An evening listening to you should push them over the edge
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:04, Reply)
#internetpals4eva

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:05, Reply)
Does anyone remember when that lady took her cat, rammed pennies down it's throat....
.... and then threw it against a window repeatably until all was left was a bloody furry mess?

That was well lol.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:08, Reply)
oh god i forgot about rogerthestarfish and his girlfriend
www.b3ta.com/questions/bestandworstfood/post1217376#answers-post-1217466
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:10, Reply)
I miss Al :(

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:14, Reply)
Oh god, I just did some googling on b3ta
She also beat up 3 school kids for not supporting The Cougers.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:14, Reply)
There's a great love-in thread there too. Gosh, how did I got get lucky out of one of 'em lot.
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post563957?highlight=answers-post-563961
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:15, Reply)
YES ! She paid for his mortgage because he showed her his bumhole over webcam.
Oh god, that was a highlight of this place.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:16, Reply)
ot was soooooo much better back then
sigh
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:21, Reply)
I did say don't ban the mentals =(

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:21, Reply)
i enjoyed bert's spell as thecathater
and his inevitable breakdown
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:23, Reply)
We need a recruitment drive, I'm on a few FB groups that might be good to post here.
Does the registration even still work anymore? does it still have that stupid "newbie tuesday" thing?
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:26, Reply)
i presume so
but you'd need someone with a lot of socks to confirm. i have no socks.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:28, Reply)
Don't tell dozer that, he'll be whacking off on bare feet forums.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:30, Reply)
we can skip all that bollix ... I'll just stick all the passwords on 4chan

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:32, Reply)
'Bert is harmless'. Boy did someone ever call THAT one wrong.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 21:47, Reply)
Hahaha, I loved the Gonz answer to death and Caramacs, hats off to Double P

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:51, Reply)
No idea who she is
alt: in a catwring helicooter accident
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:09, Reply)
necklacing

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:10, Reply)
beheading

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:12, Reply)
Scaphism

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:13, Reply)
scalping

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:15, Reply)
bored to death by pooflake

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:12, Reply)
Who?
Alt: who?

Fascinating contribution from monster munch, here.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:21, Reply)
who is that?
alt: roll in superglue. roll in millet. pecked to death by budgies.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:21, Reply)
Sexy.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:23, Reply)
i dunno lol
¯\(°_o)/¯
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:24, Reply)
n
Something slightly wrong with her face, which puts me off my stroke.

Overmedication of prescription drugs. And bar snacks.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:25, Reply)
hahahaha
like your micropenis has such a thing as a stroke.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:32, Reply)
like a tiny game of desktop golf

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:41, Reply)
whilst feeling under par.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:45, Reply)
and getting a hole in one (inch)

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:49, Reply)
wood

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:52, Reply)
putts from the rough

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:04, Reply)
Lol dead relatives. How did your mother apparently kark it again?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:37, Reply)
*throws popcorn*

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:43, Reply)
'apparently' ? Why would someone lie about that? what would they possibly hope to achieve?

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:45, Reply)
He's a bit spesh, apparently :(

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:47, Reply)
No, wait, be serious, who's due an inhertiance that I can worm myself into their lives and then exploit them for?

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:01, Reply)
DBT is 'doing a Cranley', not understanding the difference between messing about on the internet and joking about traumatic real life events.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:52, Reply)
Oh man, what's the latest with Cranley?
Has he ******* his funds in to ******'s ******* to avoid ******* regulations, again?
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:04, Reply)
He's got a job at ours.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:09, Reply)
Oh shit, I think I supposed to obfuscate the word 'wife' there, but I didn't.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:15, Reply)
Oh, I did, that was close.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:15, Reply)
^upset^

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:46, Reply)
Very.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:52, Reply)
probably because you are looking to lower your overheads and take less responsibility by franchising your pub after it beginning to nosedive after less than a year of trading. Still, you gave it a go eh??!! well done

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:54, Reply)
^upset^

(PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:57, Reply)
He comes across a bit that way, although he has given us some constructive advice on our website and menu. Thanks for that !

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:02, Reply)
Have you tried hiring more attractive bar staff?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:03, Reply)
Know anyone?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:05, Reply)
I'm very charming and witty.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:06, Reply)
Do you have big tits, and a slutty grin?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:08, Reply)
No I have a beard, glasses and I will look down on the beer choices of everyone in your pub.
I'll give it that Hoxton vibe.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:10, Reply)
You sound like a camra member.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:19, Reply)
Nope, too mainstream for me.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:35, Reply)
It's because I don't mean it and this is just a silly website you fat ninnyhammer.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:05, Reply)
I've gone to the foot of my stairs.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:07, Reply)
It's the top you need for a sneaky break from work.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:10, Reply)
im going to say 'n'
After some desk based research.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:52, Reply)
I had an amazing swim a couple of hours ago.
Pool half empty, only shared the lane with one woman who let me pass if I needed to. Swimming class going on but they were toddlers and basically silent. The changing rooms were clean. It was so sunny that they were cooling the pool so every couple of lengths you swam into the cool water coming in. 10/10 best swim all year.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:54, Reply)
Something, something when you jumped in the water jumped out

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:56, Reply)
Well yes I displaced the water equal to the volume of my body.
Pools are designed for that nowadays.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:57, Reply)
I do hope you shouted "Eureka" as you jumped in?

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:01, Reply)
let you pass?
what was she, Gandalf?
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:57, Reply)
No, just someone who knew proper lane manners. Very very rare.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 16:58, Reply)
Did you do a wee in the pool?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:04, Reply)
Nope, I usually make a point of going for a long piss before I shower.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:04, Reply)
You should use a toilet.
Unless you are trying to be French.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:09, Reply)
Clarkson's been suspended after getting in a "fracas" with a producer.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-31824040
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick &#8207;, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:03, Reply)
And on that bombshell.....

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:04, Reply)
I just upset someone by suggesting it's filmed in a 'moron storage facility'.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick &#8207;, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:06, Reply)
Or 'Dozer Towers' as the Post Office like it to be known.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:08, Reply)
ecstasy is legal in Ireland until midnight tomorrow

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:03, Reply)
alright yer I remember being off my nut on bumbles with weatherall playing at the Giants causeway in 97 fannybaws etc

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:06, Reply)
no wai man, me too!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:11, Reply)
lol, Clarkson just got sacked

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:06, Reply)
suspended

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:09, Reply)
Oooooh kinky!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:09, Reply)
Oh, fair dos.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:09, Reply)
so far, if he hit a co worker they'll sack him.
He causes the higher ups a lot of shit I wouldn't be surprised if they get rid of him.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:12, Reply)
is there any subject that you don't have an informed and well-considered opinion on?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:14, Reply)
I still haven't quite diagnosed your personality disorder.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:17, Reply)
go on, put that 2.2 in psychology to the only use it'll ever have

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:19, Reply)
Yeah, but without Clarkson top gear may tank.
He causes them grief but it's one of the most profitable and exportable shows going.

Personally I think it's bollocks, but there you go.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick &#8207;, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:14, Reply)
it's low brow ITV wank that should be on ITV where adults aren't exposed to it

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:18, Reply)
^tggi
But I suppose said 'lowbrow wank' brings in more money than it costs and therefore allows the bbc to make other proper programs for adults and take risks etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick &#8207;, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:23, Reply)
that's not how it's supposed to work though
they're a state funded public service oh god I'm already boring myself let's talk about Ireland's free drug zone
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:24, Reply)
If the "fracas" involved him punching a coworker they'd have no choice would they?
They got rid of Jonathan Ross when he had one of their highest rated shows.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:19, Reply)
yah', but if the BBC doesn't make a stand against assault agmonst your staff...
... then they very well would risk losing the rights to being publicly funded - politicians are already questioning it, and this'll give them every reason to make the push come to shove
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:19, Reply)
he'll be back on the telly when he replaces farage as the leader of ukip after the election

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:21, Reply)
I used to like Killroy Silk's show =(

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:21, Reply)
he looked a bit punchy too

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:22, Reply)
punch and judea

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:28, Reply)
Shafted?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:25, Reply)
Well they haven't been historically very good at making a stand against their staff carrying out assaults have they?

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick &#8207;, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:22, Reply)
Donno, but clarkson is high profile

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:25, Reply)
you're still allowed to say "tall" double-P

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:26, Reply)
They won't boothim, it'll be another Johnathan Ross bollocks, told off for whatever, he makes a sniggering apology, then back to usual.
Like getting banhammered from here.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:22, Reply)
What so he'll be back the next week with a different name?

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick &#8207;, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:24, Reply)
Yeah, with an owl mask and tracksuitbottoms.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:34, Reply)
He's a moon faced cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:28, Reply)
enough about el chompo, what about Clarkson?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:47, Reply)
I think he was referring to Clarkson there.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:54, Reply)
I'll be honest, I have nothng much to add to this thread
but I want to join in anyway.







Please be my friend.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:38, Reply)
Hi beff. how you been?

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:51, Reply)
My shit old lady arthritis is playing up something rotten at the moment.
I've spent the last week either in agony or stoned out of my gourd.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:54, Reply)
:(
bad times.
weather's warming up though so that will help!
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:55, Reply)
can't you Mod everybody into being your b3ta fans?

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:54, Reply)
Maybe if I had any real mod powers.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:55, Reply)
Hi b3th, how's the modding going?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:55, Reply)
I read that as modelling.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:59, Reply)
Ha ha yeah.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 10 Mar 2015, 17:59, Reply)
Yeah ha ha

(PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 18:10, Reply)
I'm gonna apply to be a mod, I'd be fucking the bollocks at it.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 18:02, Reply)
off target by a couple of inches?

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 18:04, Reply)
Hanging around with pricks
occasionally getting tight.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 10 Mar 2015, 18:07, Reply)
I heard you're an alcoholic haggis.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 18:39, Reply)

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