b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Off Topic » Post 2503612 | Search
This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 833, 832, 831, 830, 829, ... 1

« Go Back | Popular

Bank Holiday Thread
Barbecue? Picnic? Dull National Trust visit? Cocaine and hookers? A vain attempt to slice off some winter flab?

Or just three solid days of wanking?
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:37, 213 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
I plan to spend as much of it as possible drinking beer and getting stoned in the sun.
Although the weather and the irritating people I live with may put some obstacles in my way.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:40, Reply)
A weekend in York.
I won't be going to the Jorvik Museum.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:44, Reply)
you should go to that place full of illiterate peasants, violent rapists, and the smell of old piss
what's it called?

York.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:45, Reply)
York is lovely.
For a weekend.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:47, Reply)
it's going to be rammed
You should go to Fossgate on Saturday.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:52, Reply)
just going to listen to this on repeat I think
vimeo.com/28951322
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:50, Reply)
That episode is brilliant.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:55, Reply)
Larry David isn't funny.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:01, Reply)
He's a bald speccy Jew though, I thought you of all people would show some solidarity

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:03, Reply)
No. He's just an unfunny cunt.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:03, Reply)
Well I never

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:05, Reply)
Can't argue with this.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:58, Reply)
I thought the same, but I was really ill one weekend and watched nearly every episode of Seinfeld
and I was converted
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:05, Reply)
i'VE NEVER WATCH sEINFELD AS IT SEEMS TOO MUCH LIKE AMERICAN HUMOUR WHICH i HATE BUT cURB IS GOOD.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:10, Reply)
CAPSLOL

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:11, Reply)
I still haven't fully got over the 'We don't watch American television programmes' I was brought up with.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:14, Reply)
American television hadn't been invented when I was growing up
because America hadn't been discovered
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:17, Reply)
I was bought up with that but they seem to have upped their comedy game in the last decade.
As a general rule if it's a studio-multi camera sitcom it'll be shit. If it's single-camera it might be alright.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:34, Reply)
Seinfeld isn't funny.
Do you like Everybody Loves Raymond too? It's based on the comedy of Ray Romano.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:16, Reply)
no it's shit

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:21, Reply)
the kid is amazing in it

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:01, Reply)
I like the way he describes a swastika

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:02, Reply)
yes! found the whole hitler bit
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYVK_OqyUzk
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:04, Reply)
Association football and shopping.
I two minds about watching the boxing on Saturday, at that time it might well bollox Sunday.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:51, Reply)
Then again, it is two ethnics beating the shit out of each other.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:53, Reply)
I am going to watch it at 1pm with aldi 28 day dry aged steak and bitter.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:09, Reply)
Its due to piss it down on Sunday innit?
Flogging some shite on eBay which ends tomorrow night. Mrs Cow out for her mates 40th birthday tonight so I'll be watching a terrible film or something. ParkRun in the morning, followed by staying out of the house as builders are working all weekend.

There's a farm open day thingy on Monday that was good last year so might pop along to that.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:55, Reply)
A farm thing?
It's rock and fucking roll Chez Sporters innit?
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:56, Reply)
Kids innit?
Fucking ruin EVERYTHING
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:57, Reply)
little cunts.
which I prefer.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:58, Reply)
^penis like a shoelace^

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:02, Reply)
Seriously, some of the shit I've had to endure because someone thinks the kids will enjoy it.
I know for a fact that both of my kids love charging around in the pub and eating crisps, yet that is hardly ever considered.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:00, Reply)
I'm extensively training mine for this

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:02, Reply)
It's your fault for having kids in the first place.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:02, Reply)
I didn't know did I

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:06, Reply)
so YOU'RE the prick that brings his children to the pub.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:02, Reply)
They can pretty much do as they please while they're there.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:05, Reply)
This seems to be most people's parenting strategy these days.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:06, Reply)
the punters really like it when mine help them on the gambler or with their tricky pool shots

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:08, Reply)
or beat them at table football

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:11, Reply)
try locking them in the car with a bottle of coke and a paper straw each
they really like that
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:02, Reply)
*has flash back to 70's childhood*

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:28, Reply)
^remembering being worn like a glove puppet by his dad

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:41, Reply)
Altogether now.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:09, Reply)
Why does this website have two "general chit-chat" boards?
www.b3ta.com/talk/7816296
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:58, Reply)
because people on talk get upset about food chat

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:59, Reply)
Not without reason, though.
Instagram is where food chat belongs.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:01, Reply)
So, Lunch?

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:01, Reply)
we're going to the pie pub
not the one we went to with you, but the same chain
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:04, Reply)
Upset

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:02, Reply)
because originally /talk looked down on it
but now there's hardly anybody left on /talk so the few skeletal survivors have crawled their way over here to crank their chains and oh i don't know
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:02, Reply)
Gentlemen, you can't talk on here, this is the /talk board!
:/
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:04, Reply)
now if there's one thing that has never been seen on b3ta
from its slow beginnings to its glory days to its current painful wheezing demise...

it's a gentleman.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:05, Reply)
Tsk, women!

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:08, Reply)
Everyone on /talk thinks offtopic is shit and in the days when there were still people who wanted to chat on qotw, they were all too scared of /talk for some reason

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:03, Reply)
aren't you 50% of /talk?

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:03, Reply)
that place would be dead on its arse if I stopped posting

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:07, Reply)
It's almost like there's no one running this site, anymore.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:07, Reply)
I'm confident that with McChinaman at the helm this place will turn its fortunes around and go on to bigger and better things

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:08, Reply)
than some horny tricks

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:09, Reply)
he's surged above 60 posts for the last qftw

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:10, Reply)
It's fairer now as every single reply gets onto the best answers page.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:12, Reply)
he's a useless and vainglorious nobneck but at least he's even handed

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:16, Reply)
QOTW is better now he feels the need to post shit lame jokes as a bit of filler to cover the horrendous job he's doing in trying to revive it a bit.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:12, Reply)
to be fair
people got sick of it and left because of the shit flinging that followed 50% of the posts, so he's fighting a losing battle there
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:14, Reply)
Yes, but I derive pleasure from failure, he clearly feels responsibility for it now he's TOP MOD.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:16, Reply)
Conversely I got sick of it, then stayed because of the shit flinging that followed 50% of the posts
Bet you're glad that happened, eh?
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:16, Reply)
it has certainly increased the traffic and the number of posts on this thriving little corner of the internet

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:17, Reply)
the shit flinging is the best bit

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:20, Reply)
it was absolutely the only reason any adult would ever wander onto qftw

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:21, Reply)
carpe cyprinidae is the best poster ever

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:23, Reply)
is he still around?
he was dazzlingly shit
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:25, Reply)
i miss spankyhanky, he was hilarious and not a nob

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:25, Reply)
bring back Redacted Fedacted

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:26, Reply)
bring back legless, he run ting

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:29, Reply)
good shit flinging is and there were some brilliant threads of weeping outrage
but mostly it wasn't good, it was just the same tedious old criticisms
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:22, Reply)
you had psychochimp's cock up your arse

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:23, Reply)
I heard he only made it as far as one of the lower folds before nausea got the better of him

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:26, Reply)
the guntstench put him off his fingering technique

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:27, Reply)
it was like scraping out the u-bend in a boys school dormitory

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:30, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2503798
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:31, Reply)
poor mrs old man dullard
no wonder you prefer men's arses if that's what you're used to
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:27, Reply)
stop trying to pass your hamster bum fun off on everyone else

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:26, Reply)
your hamstering obsession is just creepy

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:27, Reply)
well, you would know

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:28, Reply)
yes, I would know it's creepy, because you creep me out by banging on about it at every opportunity

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:30, Reply)
yes
banging on and on and on about another poster having sex WOULD be rather creepy, no??
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:31, Reply)
as I understand it, your liaison with chimpy was like Eleanor Rigby's funeral.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:32, Reply)
Ha!

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:33, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2503808
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:38, Reply)
^ upset and outlolled by the dozemeister

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:39, Reply)
just because thinking about other people is as close as you get to sex

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:40, Reply)

also, did you just refer to yourself as "the dozemeister" ?????

oh.

oh dear.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:42, Reply)
alright fatso, calm down

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:44, Reply)
she's cranky because of the sweat rash under the gunt

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:46, Reply)
chompy's dna still embedded in the sweaty lardass folds

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:47, Reply)
bless
are you missing rory so much that you have to try and crawl up someone else's arsehole, even old man dullard's??
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:49, Reply)
nobody's doing any crawling, treacs
We're just a couple of forum users who share a sense of humour.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:50, Reply)
you are a bit of a brown noser m8

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:51, Reply)
you're a bit of a white knighter m8

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:52, Reply)
Haha upset

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:52, Reply)
you are a fucking idiot

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:53, Reply)
you have a monobrow

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:54, Reply)
and?

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:55, Reply)
i don't find it attractive

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:57, Reply)
he's alright
it can't be easy watching old mother blubber whinging and moaning every day of the weak
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:53, Reply)
well you'd know all about that
given that you spend your holidays posting on here rather than talking to your old mother
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:55, Reply)
i like reading your silly arguments when they're funny, when it's
U R FAT
U R UGLY
U R CREEPY
NO U R

it's pretty boring reading
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:57, Reply)
sure thing "treacs"

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:54, Reply)
upset.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:56, Reply)
i know
i'm so upset i'm off to the pub.

don't spunk over wp's new thread will you?
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:57, Reply)
easy now
this is like congratulating yourself on beating a chimp at chess
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:40, Reply)
it's marginally less dull and creepy than when she bangs on about my kids' haircuts

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:33, Reply)
ugly man produces ugly kids shocker

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:38, Reply)
see? creepy

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:38, Reply)
I could mention when you posted pics of Ringos kids on the internet if we're talking creepy but that seems to upset you and you deny or delete it so i wont

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:40, Reply)
never happened, pumpkin
but if you think it's the only way to distract attention from your girlfriend making a fool of herself in yet another attempt to impress other men on the internet
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:42, Reply)
see, upset denial, how boring

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:43, Reply)
It was when the spastics started trying to recreate the funny threads in reply to every story posted it went to shit, like when I do a really wicked thread on here and everyone has a good time then the next thread is done by Jason.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:30, Reply)
I'm sure it is purely coincidental that hardly any of the people who used to post here stuck around after I joined in.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:22, Reply)
Much of what sits in the archives of QOTW is just crying out to be mocked.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:20, Reply)
yeah, and some of the mocking is genius, much better than any of the shit stories
but a lot of it was just the same few dullards flinging the same bit of shit and that got really really boring. it's a shame because there were some proper lol posts back in the day.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:21, Reply)
The best bits of QOTW are preserved in AB's archive.
Most of the rest is either failed attempts to be funny, sexual fantasies, or 4000 word essays about going for a poo.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:25, Reply)
he stopped banging on about the archive when monty and meaty pointed out that it was a bit weird
that was lol
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:25, Reply)
And now he's gone forever.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:26, Reply)
you're next if you don't buck your ideas up

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:27, Reply)
Your threats of mod-sanctioned bullying don't scare me.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:30, Reply)
look pal, i'm just saying that when i want someone gone, they go. watch yourself eh

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:31, Reply)
Not always, occasionally they lurk like some weird phantom of the offtopica, flinging abuse and poo pics late at night then delolting in hungover shame the following day.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:34, Reply)
Sometimes they try to join in but no one replies and it looks a bit sad until you remember you don't care

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:36, Reply)
it has been a while

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:28, Reply)
...by pooflake

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:26, Reply)
the only real difference is that mongy is banned from posting here
and the most delicate flowers over here still don't dare post over there
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:09, Reply)
No one's ever explained why mongy is banned from here.
Would it be fair to assume that the moderator for this section is an idiot, or did he actually manage to do something spectacularly awful (which I'd find hard to believe)?
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:18, Reply)
he upset some of the feeble regulars by making exactly the same kind of off-colour remarks that people have made on /board and /talk for the last decade

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:19, Reply)
What a monster.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:22, Reply)
seriously

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:23, Reply)
I've not made plans so I'll probably go with the wanking

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:01, Reply)
a sound choice

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:10, Reply)
bit of TTT and upset here
www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/campden-hill-conservatives-stroke-poster-5565121
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:18, Reply)
Yeh mocking Stroke victims is well lol, emvee made that I reckon

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:21, Reply)
it'll have been 'hacked' or be blamed on some lowly intern or summat

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:22, Reply)
you don't know whether to believe that they posted it or they got hacked or they posted it and said they got hacked

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:23, Reply)
something about Rory RIP

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:21, Reply)
Garden work - building a barbecue area and getting rid of some prickly bastard trees
Other than that, masturbation and drink will be the order of the day.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:29, Reply)
just burn the cunts down

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:31, Reply)
Kidnap them, tie them to a chair, and threaten them.
Show them that no one messes with your garden.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:35, Reply)
This is precisely the sort of shit-flinging that killed qotw.
Good work.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:35, Reply)
It's precisely timed hate chat, and no mistake.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:49, Reply)
In other news...
...I've just ordered some chilli plug plants. One each of the five hottest in the world including the Carolina Reaper - just crowned the hottest ever - and a Turkish star, just because it looks weird.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:36, Reply)
plant those hot chillies

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:39, Reply)
I will grow them in a greenhouse and then, when the crop comes in I'll....
...Prepare the hot chutney, preferably trying hygienic cookery.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:50, Reply)
We could have been anything that we wanted to be,
With all the talent we had!
No doubt about it, we whine and we pout it
We're the very best at being bad guys

We're rotten to the core
And my congratulations no one likes you any more
Bad guys, we're the very worst
Each of us contemptible, we're criticised and cursed
We made the big time, malicious and mad
We're the very best at being bad!

Doododododoo doododododoo
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:42, Reply)
so bored
might write some John Major erotic fan fiction
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:44, Reply)
YES!!

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:45, Reply)
It's all any of us really want.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:46, Reply)
NEWCASTLE!
friends, family, drinking, eating, partying, slut dropping
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:46, Reply)
drop it like it's hot

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:47, Reply)


(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:47, Reply)
jaysum doesn't even have four :'(

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:48, Reply)
I have 10 ACKSHULLY

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 13:02, Reply)
It's started again up there ^, so I think we're about ready for one of your multiple question threads that Frog dunnos any answers.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:48, Reply)
200

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:55, Reply)
well, you win this one.

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:55, Reply)
we win together

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:58, Reply)
200

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:55, Reply)
I'm not even deleting
How'd you like them apples?
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 13:10, Reply)
typical cowardly jew

(, Fri 1 May 2015, 13:11, Reply)

« Go Back | Reply To This »

Pages: Latest, 833, 832, 831, 830, 829, ... 1