Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Bank Holiday ThreadBarbecue? Picnic? Dull National Trust visit? Cocaine and hookers? A vain attempt to slice off some winter flab?
Or just three solid days of wanking?
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:37, 213 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
I plan to spend as much of it as possible drinking beer and getting stoned in the sun.Although the weather and the irritating people I live with may put some obstacles in my way.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:40,
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you should go to that place full of illiterate peasants, violent rapists, and the smell of old pisswhat's it called?
York.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:45, Reply)
just going to listen to this on repeat I thinkvimeo.com/28951322
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$$ ✅, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:50,
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He's a bald speccy Jew though, I thought you of all people would show some solidarity (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:03,
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Can't argue with this.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:58,
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I thought the same, but I was really ill one weekend and watched nearly every episode of Seinfeld and I was converted
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$$ ✅, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:05,
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i'VE NEVER WATCH sEINFELD AS IT SEEMS TOO MUCH LIKE AMERICAN HUMOUR WHICH i HATE BUT cURB IS GOOD.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:10,
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I still haven't fully got over the 'We don't watch American television programmes' I was brought up with.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:14,
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American television hadn't been invented when I was growing upbecause America hadn't been discovered
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:17, Reply)
I was bought up with that but they seem to have upped their comedy game in the last decade.As a general rule if it's a studio-multi camera sitcom it'll be shit. If it's single-camera it might be alright.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:34,
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Seinfeld isn't funny. Do you like Everybody Loves Raymond too? It's based on the comedy of Ray Romano.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:16, Reply)
yes! found the whole hitler bitwww.youtube.com/watch?v=qYVK_OqyUzk
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$$ ✅, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:04,
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Association football and shopping.I two minds about watching the boxing on Saturday, at that time it might well bollox Sunday.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:51,
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I am going to watch it at 1pm with aldi 28 day dry aged steak and bitter.(
d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:09,
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Its due to piss it down on Sunday innit?Flogging some shite on eBay which ends tomorrow night. Mrs Cow out for her mates 40th birthday tonight so I'll be watching a terrible film or something. ParkRun in the morning, followed by staying out of the house as builders are working all weekend.
There's a farm open day thingy on Monday that was good last year so might pop along to that.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:55,
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Kids innit?Fucking ruin EVERYTHING
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:57,
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Seriously, some of the shit I've had to endure because someone thinks the kids will enjoy it.I know for a fact that both of my kids love charging around in the pub and eating crisps, yet that is hardly ever considered.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:00,
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I'm extensively training mine for this(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:02,
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It's your fault for having kids in the first place.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 May 2015, 12:02,
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They can pretty much do as they please while they're there.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:05,
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This seems to be most people's parenting strategy these days.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 1 May 2015, 12:06,
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the punters really like it when mine help them on the gambler or with their tricky pool shots(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:08, Reply)
try locking them in the car with a bottle of coke and a paper straw eachthey really like that
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:02,
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^remembering being worn like a glove puppet by his dad(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:41,
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Why does this website have two "general chit-chat" boards?www.b3ta.com/talk/7816296
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:58,
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because people on talk get upset about food chat(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 1 May 2015, 11:59,
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Not without reason, though.Instagram is where food chat belongs.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:01,
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we're going to the pie pubnot the one we went to with you, but the same chain
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:04,
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because originally /talk looked down on itbut now there's hardly anybody left on /talk so the few skeletal survivors have crawled their way over here to crank their chains and oh i don't know
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:02,
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Gentlemen, you can't talk on here, this is the /talk board!:/
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:04,
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now if there's one thing that has never been seen on b3tafrom its slow beginnings to its glory days to its current painful wheezing demise...
it's a gentleman.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:05,
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Everyone on /talk thinks offtopic is shit and in the days when there were still people who wanted to chat on qotw, they were all too scared of /talk for some reason(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:03,
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that place would be dead on its arse if I stopped posting(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:07,
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It's almost like there's no one running this site, anymore.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:07,
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I'm confident that with McChinaman at the helm this place will turn its fortunes around and go on to bigger and better things(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:08,
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It's fairer now as every single reply gets onto the best answers page.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:12,
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he's a useless and vainglorious nobneck but at least he's even handed(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:16, Reply)
QOTW is better now he feels the need to post shit lame jokes as a bit of filler to cover the horrendous job he's doing in trying to revive it a bit.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:12,
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to be fairpeople got sick of it and left because of the shit flinging that followed 50% of the posts, so he's fighting a losing battle there
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:14,
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Yes, but I derive pleasure from failure, he clearly feels responsibility for it now he's TOP MOD.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:16,
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Conversely I got sick of it, then stayed because of the shit flinging that followed 50% of the postsBet you're glad that happened, eh?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:16,
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it has certainly increased the traffic and the number of posts on this thriving little corner of the internet(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:17,
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it was absolutely the only reason any adult would ever wander onto qftw(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:21, Reply)
good shit flinging is and there were some brilliant threads of weeping outragebut mostly it wasn't good, it was just the same tedious old criticisms
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:22,
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I heard he only made it as far as one of the lower folds before nausea got the better of him(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:26, Reply)
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2503798
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:31,
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poor mrs old man dullardno wonder you prefer men's arses if that's what you're used to
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:27,
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stop trying to pass your hamster bum fun off on everyone else(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:26,
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yes, I would know it's creepy, because you creep me out by banging on about it at every opportunity(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:30, Reply)
yesbanging on and on and on about another poster having sex WOULD be rather creepy, no??
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:31,
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as I understand it, your liaison with chimpy was like Eleanor Rigby's funeral.(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:32, Reply)
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2503808
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:38,
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just because thinking about other people is as close as you get to sex(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:40,
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also, did you just refer to yourself as "the dozemeister" ?????
oh.
oh dear.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:42,
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blessare you missing rory so much that you have to try and crawl up someone else's arsehole, even old man dullard's??
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:49,
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nobody's doing any crawling, treacsWe're just a couple of forum users who share a sense of humour.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:50, Reply)
he's alrightit can't be easy watching old mother blubber whinging and moaning every day of the weak
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:53, Reply)
well you'd know all about thatgiven that you spend your holidays posting on here rather than talking to your old mother
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:55,
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i like reading your silly arguments when they're funny, when it'sU R FAT
U R UGLY
U R CREEPY
NO U R
it's pretty boring reading
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:57,
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i knowi'm so upset i'm off to the pub.
don't spunk over wp's new thread will you?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:57,
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easy nowthis is like congratulating yourself on beating a chimp at chess
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:40, Reply)
it's marginally less dull and creepy than when she bangs on about my kids' haircuts(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:33, Reply)
I could mention when you posted pics of Ringos kids on the internet if we're talking creepy but that seems to upset you and you deny or delete it so i wont(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:40,
Reply)
never happened, pumpkinbut if you think it's the only way to distract attention from your girlfriend making a fool of herself in yet another attempt to impress other men on the internet
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:42, Reply)
It was when the spastics started trying to recreate the funny threads in reply to every story posted it went to shit, like when I do a really wicked thread on here and everyone has a good time then the next thread is done by Jason. (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:30,
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I'm sure it is purely coincidental that hardly any of the people who used to post here stuck around after I joined in.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:22,
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Much of what sits in the archives of QOTW is just crying out to be mocked.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:20,
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yeah, and some of the mocking is genius, much better than any of the shit storiesbut a lot of it was just the same few dullards flinging the same bit of shit and that got really really boring. it's a shame because there were some proper lol posts back in the day.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:21,
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The best bits of QOTW are preserved in AB's archive.Most of the rest is either failed attempts to be funny, sexual fantasies, or 4000 word essays about going for a poo.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:25,
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he stopped banging on about the archive when monty and meaty pointed out that it was a bit weirdthat was lol
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:25,
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And now he's gone forever.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:26,
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you're next if you don't buck your ideas up (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:27,
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Your threats of mod-sanctioned bullying don't scare me.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:30,
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look pal, i'm just saying that when i want someone gone, they go. watch yourself eh(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:31,
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Not always, occasionally they lurk like some weird phantom of the offtopica, flinging abuse and poo pics late at night then delolting in hungover shame the following day.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:34,
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Sometimes they try to join in but no one replies and it looks a bit sad until you remember you don't care(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:36,
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the only real difference is that mongy is banned from posting hereand the most delicate flowers over here still don't dare post over there
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:09, Reply)
No one's ever explained why mongy is banned from here.Would it be fair to assume that the moderator for this section is an idiot, or did he actually manage to do something spectacularly awful (which I'd find hard to believe)?
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:18,
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he upset some of the feeble regulars by making exactly the same kind of off-colour remarks that people have made on /board and /talk for the last decade(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:19, Reply)
bit of TTT and upset herewww.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/campden-hill-conservatives-stroke-poster-5565121
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:18,
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Yeh mocking Stroke victims is well lol, emvee made that I reckon(
Peej, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:21,
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it'll have been 'hacked' or be blamed on some lowly intern or summat(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:22, Reply)
you don't know whether to believe that they posted it or they got hacked or they posted it and said they got hacked(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:23,
Reply)
Garden work - building a barbecue area and getting rid of some prickly bastard treesOther than that, masturbation and drink will be the order of the day.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:29, Reply)
Kidnap them, tie them to a chair, and threaten them.Show them that no one messes with your garden.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:35,
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This is precisely the sort of shit-flinging that killed qotw.Good work.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:35,
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It's precisely timed hate chat, and no mistake.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:49,
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In other news......I've just ordered some chilli plug plants. One each of the five hottest in the world including the Carolina Reaper - just crowned the hottest ever - and a Turkish star, just because it looks weird.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:36, Reply)
I will grow them in a greenhouse and then, when the crop comes in I'll.......Prepare the hot chutney, preferably trying hygienic cookery.
(, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:50, Reply)
We could have been anything that we wanted to be, With all the talent we had!
No doubt about it, we whine and we pout it
We're the very best at being bad guys
We're rotten to the core
And my congratulations no one likes you any more
Bad guys, we're the very worst
Each of us contemptible, we're criticised and cursed
We made the big time, malicious and mad
We're the very best at being bad!
Doododododoo doododododoo
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 1 May 2015, 12:42,
Reply)
It's all any of us really want.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:46,
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NEWCASTLE!friends, family, drinking, eating, partying, slut dropping
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:46,
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It's started again up there ^, so I think we're about ready for one of your multiple question threads that Frog dunnos any answers.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 May 2015, 12:48,
Reply)
well, you win this one.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 1 May 2015, 12:55,
Reply)
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