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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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The weekend has been and gone.
Did you have a good one?
Come in and tell us all about it.


(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 7:54, 294 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
Morning Lusty
I had a busy weekend, but I'm back at work now for a rest!

How are you this windy morning?
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 8:15, Reply)
Morning Mr K
I'm fine. I don't have the heating on in the office, I actually have the door open!
I've also tuned the radio to radio 1. It's shit, but it's not magic so I am a very happy lady this morning!
Simple things for simple minds I guess.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 8:18, Reply)
Im back at work feeling shit
Red Wine, rosy wine, beer and something else I ate didnt mix too well. Im in one of those situations where im trying to decide whether i should make myself go throw up as I might feel better for it.
(Miggyman, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 8:19, Reply)
Hmm, must be warmer in London!
It's bloody freezing here. It was snowing a bit further north last night, and I'm surprised the rain here didn't turn white. But at least it's dry now.

And I have no radio on. I don't like music at work. It either distracts me, or irritates me, depending on whether it's music I like or not!

Edit - Morning Miggy. Go and have a fry up!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 8:21, Reply)
It's quite chilly here
but my office just tends to be like a sauna.
To be honest I'm just making the most of the overseer being away. If I was freezing I'd still refuse to put the heating on because I can.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 8:23, Reply)
A sauna, Lusty?
Does that mean you're all naked and sitting on towels?

And Finnish?

Sounds like a nice place to work.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 8:25, Reply)
I meant that it gets hot
I didn't mean I sit around naked, sweating slightly. I do that plenty enough at home.

Oh christ! Now you've given me a mental image of my boss naked.

I've just thrown up in my mouth a little bit.

*cries*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 8:28, Reply)
Oh, sorry!
You probably have a pretty accurate mental image of what your boss would look like in the buff, because of all of her graphic descriptions!

My apologies for any distress caused.

Are you imagining her beating herself with birch branches?
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 8:32, Reply)
That truly is a horrifying image.
Once I've finished scrubbing myself with dettol and wire wool I'm going to find that industrial size bottle of mind bleach I have hidden somewhere and use the lot.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 8:37, Reply)
Hmmm, yes Lusty
Perhaps the weapons grade mind bleach would be required.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 8:44, Reply)
Morning folks
My stomach hurts because it's empty and I'm cold. I think I might have to get a sausage sarnie from the canteen.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 8:47, Reply)
Morning all
I made some nomtastic biscuits yesterday with my special friend.

*passes one to Captain V*

Edit: *and Lusty*
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 8:49, Reply)
ning Captain.
Can you grab me one too? I left my breakfast at home and I can't get out til 1 now :(
*hungries*

Hello Ducky! You ok?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 8:51, Reply)
*noms biscuit*
Thanks ducky! *tosses sausage sarnie at lusty*

Hope that's ok for you.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 8:53, Reply)
Cheers captain V.
*noms*

This will be lovely with my real life cup of tea I have.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 8:58, Reply)
*tosses sausage at Capitan V*
Hope you don't mind that!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 8:58, Reply)
Hello Lusty
I'm in a very bouncy mood today, even though it's Monday. Just spending the day yesterday with my special friend cheered me up no end.

It was a nice contrast to Saturday, where I spent most of the day feeling quite down because my poor grandma is in a bad way in hospital due to a stroke and subsequent falling over and breaking her hip.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 8:58, Reply)
*catches sausage and noms*
mmmmmm....flying food.

:edit: Oh dear god I'm slow this morning. *gets the mind bleach*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:01, Reply)
*hugs ducky*
Sorry to hear about your Nan. That's really horrible.
I hope she gets better soon.

Yay for your special friend cheering you up though. :)
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:01, Reply)
Hello all :)
People at work have told me I look sexy so I am a happy badger today!

*hugs Duckie* Sorry bout your gran
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:04, Reply)
Capitan V
you love my sausage :D

Sorry to hear about that duck, how bad was the stroke?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:04, Reply)
Hullo!
I have had my porridge today and I'm ready for whatever life throws at me.


*goes off to conquer the world*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:05, Reply)
Hello TGB!
@BGB. You might regret saying that, himjim seems to be throwing his meat around a bit. He might hit you in the face with it!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:07, Reply)
Thanks for the hugs
I'm not sure how bad the stroke was, but it seemed pretty bad, and seemed to knock out a lot of her memory. It was a bit strange really - I visited her and she knew who I was, but she kept talking to me about things I was doing in the third person - 'Ooh that's lovely. My grandson rubberduck's doing that too' etc.

As a result of the stroke, she fell over and broke her arm and hip. That's what a couple of decades of osteopirosis has done for her bone strength. She'd only just started to recover from breaking her other hip back in Feb too...
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:11, Reply)
*Rings bell*
Here ye!

Here ye!

Ethelred in da house. Pow.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:14, Reply)
Hey Lusty *huggles*
I am hoping when I am older adamantium fused to skeletons is a common medical procedure as I am so accident prone....
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:17, Reply)
Fuckin' Dammit,
I hate Mondays.

*starts Monday job-search*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:22, Reply)
ooh Mr Happy is here
Hello Mr Happy! *tickles Kaol*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:23, Reply)
I have returned!
G'morning all.

Yes, I'm back from my week off, which I spent playing Fallout 3, Fable 2 and World of Warcraft. It was a joyous week, and gave me a much-needed break from work.

Sorry to hear about your nan Rubberduck :(
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:25, Reply)
Hello Kaol.
Nice to see you're happy this morning.

Welcome back Lab!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:26, Reply)
Have you returned
with presents for everyone Lab? If not I think you should go get some... ideally something chocolatey.

Or at the very least hugs
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:28, Reply)
*dons cape and flat cap*
*bounces in riding a big green space-hopper*

*showers everyone with a selection of bourbons, custard creams and jammy dodgers*

*dismounts*

*bows*

Good morning!
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:29, Reply)
Biscuits?
*shudders*

I appreciate the good intentions, but the only two things that can pass my lips within three hours of me waking up is a toothbrush or cigarette smoke.

Also, Mister-Thirty-One, is your sig a reference to necrophilia?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:32, Reply)
hehe
I reckon I'd let a few more things past my lips ;)

Noel that's a very fetching hat *noms biscuits*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:35, Reply)
*passes Kaol a Marlboro and some aquafresh*
My sig is a quote from The Princess Bride.

How was your weekend sir?
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:35, Reply)
Good morning everyone
Hello!

I had a really good weekend but I think I'm getting a cold and probably have to go to Poland later today.

How are you all?
(bill, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:35, Reply)
*waves madly at Bill*
Bill if you want you can sit here in my nice warm office and I will go to Poland *glees*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:37, Reply)
@TGB
Oh very well then.

*passes out cigarettes, chocolate and hugs to all*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:38, Reply)
Morning everybody
It's Monday again, but I'm feeling chipper!

How are you lot?

Oh and Badger. Yes! Yes you are!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:39, Reply)
*Waves Madly Back*
OK, if you come to my office and collect the optical to ethernet media converters that I'm delivering I'll have the flights booked by the time you get here!
(bill, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:40, Reply)
Dok!
*snuggles* Thanks :)

Ooh and cigarettes from Lab! woo *glees*

Bill I will be there in about 2 hours...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:41, Reply)
*tips hat to TGB*
And might I say that's a fancy haircut you're wearing right now? :)
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:43, Reply)
Thanks for the smokes Lab
Just what I needed.

Bill a cold, nasty, and could you make that 2 tickets?

*Badger snuggles* are the best! *snuggles snog*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:48, Reply)
My weekend was great thanks
Mister 31, went to the Natural History Museum to see the Wildlife Photographer Of The Year exhibition on Saturday, it was awesome!

How about you?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 9:49, Reply)
Natural History Museum? Ace!
I'd live in that place if they'd let me :)

I spent much of the weekend with a good friend and his wife and their two year old. Good food, great company and slightly messy weed :)

Time for another six-month abstinence I think!
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:00, Reply)
Sounds fun!
I strongly recommend the exhibition if you can get to it, the photos are beautiful!

Went for a bit of a wander around the museum too, I was determined to show my friend the Megatherium skeleton, as I was telling her about them last week.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:03, Reply)
Sounds fun Kaol
I had a weekend of doing nothing...

My bed is too comfy it's hard to get motivated when you are as snug as a bug in a rug.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:05, Reply)
I remember the first time
I went, I was about six and was completely awed by the place. Took my kiddo when she was six and she was exactly the same :)

Probably won't get a chance to go again til next summer, I'm putting all my mental and financial efforts into a big trip/book/charity launch idea for the time being.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:08, Reply)
Kaol
I was thinking of taking a trip to see it, glad you liked it, and gave it the thumbs up.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:09, Reply)
*jumps up and down*
ooh Dok take me take me!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:10, Reply)
Dammit TGB
Your mentioning of bugs that are snug in rugs has made me want to go back to be but I have to wait 9 hours before I'll be back at home ='[
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:10, Reply)
No3l
It's sad that you won't get to go till next summer :( Then again I don't go as often as I'd like, it's not nearly as much fun on your own, and my nephews and neices have no interest in that sort of thing!

Badger, of course I'll take you. When would you like to go?

EDIT Captain, I was ignoring that one for the same reasons!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:13, Reply)
Hmm
I'd need to go when I was sober to fully appreciate things... *looks in diary* this could be difficult...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:16, Reply)
Morning
*so tired*

I trust everyone enjoyed their weekends.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:21, Reply)
My company held our last annual dinner dance
in the Natural History Museum

it was ace :-)

how are you all this morning?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:22, Reply)
Badger
I've always found museums to be a good place to get over a hangover in, so peaceful.

Scarpe, good weekend then? Mine was great, except Sunday, bloody football and wind and rain!

Hi Vipros, I'm still cold from yesterday.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:24, Reply)
I love museums, galleries etc
But travelling by conventional means is expensive, so it's always an investment for a day out.

I'd hitch-hike, but I don't think I'd get close to central London that way :(
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:24, Reply)
Ooh
I went to a party at the museum once too. My exes uncle used to manage events there.

But then she dumped me and moved to Canada so now I wish I hadn't remembered that.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:25, Reply)
TGB
A most peleasant weekend thank you.

Although yesterday was a struggle after too much drinky-poo on Saturday.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:25, Reply)
Scarpe
I know it's Monday morning, but why are you calling me TGB?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:28, Reply)
My weekend
Was more a continuation of my week off, so was thoroughly enjoyable!

This week is looking increasingly shit though, as I'm in Small Claims Court tomorrow to sort out ex-landlord stuff (he's being a money grabbing cunt), and then proper Big Boy (Crown) court on Friday in Kingston for work.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:29, Reply)
Oops Dok.
because its Monday morning and I am far from awake.

Sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:30, Reply)
haha
maybe the blister is on his eye and he can't see very well and has to guess things!

As you have answered it, I may as well ask it :p
So good weekend scarpe?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:30, Reply)
Ooh Lab
Did you lose your username? :(
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:31, Reply)
Lab
Sorry to hear your week will be shitty. :(

Scarpe, well they do say that eyesight is one of the things to go when you get older. ;)
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:32, Reply)
Eyesight
Hearing, sense of direction, ability to drink

It's all gone wrong in my 30's.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:34, Reply)
Morning ALL
Boy oh boy I was drunk on Saturday. Still feeling shit today. At least the office is cosy....

Everyone feeling fantastic that it's Monday I assume?
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:34, Reply)
No3l
Oops, no I didn't, I was just lazy when changing it back from my shit Halloween name :p
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:36, Reply)
It was a shit hallowe'en name...
:p

Hey TDW I am feeling quite fantastic it's Monday *is strange and weird*

There there scarpe it will be ok *hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:38, Reply)

*jealous*. Mondays should be banned forever. Roll on half 5! How come you're feeling so well?? :D
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:41, Reply)
Scarpe
Things will get better, well at least you'll stop caring about them as much.

TDW, I'm still cold from yesterday, but other than that all is good.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:41, Reply)
More likely
I will just forget that I care.

*accepts hug gratefully*
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:42, Reply)
Well TDW
I had a mini makeover at the weekend - new hair and I have ditched the glasses for contacts - and frankly my ego is loving all the comments I am getting today.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:44, Reply)
NNNIIINNNGGG!
I feel fab! I saw wonderful friends at the weekend and even the rain of Monday cannot wash away the joy.

*hugs all round*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:44, Reply)
Hi Drixy
You are chipper this morning aren't you. *hugs*

I'm still cold!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:46, Reply)
ooh yay
A very happy Clendrix *hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:47, Reply)
Hurrah!
I'm happy. I'm a whorebag.

Oh, but I have a boring meeting soon.

Dok, put some clothes on.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:48, Reply)
Hello Clendrix and Al!
Glad to hear you're in a fab mood Clendrix :D

Al, I haven't played Sim City in ages! There's an old Penny Arcade comic that recently reminded me of my times playing Sim City, in that they construct an entire town than resembles a gigantic wang.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:48, Reply)
Noes.
Al, put the keys down and step away from the bulldozer!

But Drixy, you know I don't like wearing clothes, I just don't tell people.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:49, Reply)
Labs!
No way! I want to live in that town.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:49, Reply)
I'm dangerously hooked on Fallout...
I got an awesome thing on it last night which is more-or-less a combination of a metal gauntlet and a hydraulic piston-ram.

You can punch people so hard in the head that it decapitates them :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:50, Reply)
Really Kaol?
I wonder why you're getting so hooked then.
You always seem so calm and peaceful.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:52, Reply)
I know...
*sighs*
I'm discovering a violent side that I didn't know I had :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:53, Reply)
Aww I love simcity
I had a massive one on my dads computer called Consamtinople which is frankly the best name for a town ever.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:54, Reply)
Jimbuktu.
Best name for a town, ever.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:55, Reply)
Kaol
Take a break, go back to it in a couple of weeks. :) Not.

Simcity is a great game, it's still the oldest game I play regularly. Margaritaville for me.

I often just play it to kill everybody in my town. A bit like Lemmings really.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:57, Reply)
My brother
named his town on Animal Crossing 'Jizztown' when he was drunk.

Then was too embarassed to play it.


Edit: Thinking about it, it may have been cut to 'Jizzto' by the limit on characters.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:57, Reply)
pft
That, Jim, is the suckiest name for a town ever
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 10:57, Reply)
Billton-On-Sea
Remember, a harbour will help stmulate early city growth until an airport becomes financially viable
(bill, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:03, Reply)
Morning all
Talking of addicting games, the new Football Manager is out on Friday.

I wonder how many of the game-killing bugs they had in the demo they will be able to fix before the release.....
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:04, Reply)
I didn't like the newer
Simcites. 2000 FTW! I used to have a version on my phone as well which was awesome. Until the power plant blew up and I almost threw my phone across the room...


hahah - Bill that made me officelol!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:04, Reply)

Sim City was amazing. Had the first game on the SNES and I can remember the endlessly looping music to this day!

Cityname: Brown Piss Megalopolis


Oh and @ Pirate Monkey - I've taken a week off work starting the 24th of November for that very game. There will be TEA. There will be endless pirated music to listen to. And there will be Nottingham Forest winning the Premiership.
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:05, Reply)
Clendrix
If you could, which part of Wangsville would you live in? Your choices are:

a) The upmarket Purple Crest, with it's penthouse apartments and stunning views of the River Splooge.

b) The bustling city centre, with it's mainstreet Long Shaft. Plenty of entertainment to be found in it's throbbing nightclubs.

c) The peaceful twin cul-de-sacks situated in the well-kept forest that borders the town.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:06, Reply)
Labs
Very nice options indeed. But I think I'm more likely to be the kind of girl who hangs out in the cavernosa, sipping on the corona.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:10, Reply)

D) Watch out for the whiffy white slums on the outskirts of the Purple Crest area. Often neglected by the government suffering from a real litter problem and is rarely cleaned.
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:10, Reply)
Simcity 4
I've not played any after 2000 UK edition. It's the dogs bollocks!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:12, Reply)
Dogs bollocks?
Wangsville?

If we've started this low on Monday, where will we be by Friday afternoon?
*looks forward to Friday afternoon even more*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:19, Reply)
If Monday is talking about dog-testes,
Then by Friday someone will have jerked off a load of dogs into shot glasses, and a game of "Guess The Breed Of Canine By The Taste Of The Semen" will be in full swing.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:20, Reply)
Drixy
Sheltering!

Me I'll be sitting at home playing world of warcraft!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:21, Reply)
Same here Herr Dok!
Expansion comes out Friday, although I'm in sodding court in sodding Kingston that day :(
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:22, Reply)
Sorry Al
I am all wrapped up today as it is cold
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:23, Reply)
Lab
It comes out Thurday. I've that day booked off as well! Gaz me with details, we may be on the same server.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:25, Reply)
Lucy!
Where's Lucy! She's an expert dog wanker; we need her so we can be tortured by Kaol play Kaol's game.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:26, Reply)
Reading this thread
made me realise how nerdy some of you are.

I love you guys.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:26, Reply)
Lusty!
I love our love of cheese, nerds and Alan.

And each other.

:)
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:27, Reply)
Badger
*snuggle*

That should help you get warmer.

*snuggles more*

EDIT Hi Lusty, yup we're just a bunch of nerds here.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:28, Reply)
I've never played Sim City :(
Or wanked a dog, come to that.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:29, Reply)
scarpe
I've never wanked off a dog either, but no one here needs to know!

*huggles clendrix*

I'm going to love you so hard next time I see you!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:31, Reply)
Nerdery
I am a fully-fledged nerd/geek, and somewhat proud of it! I like to think that I fall more on the 'cool geek' side, rather than the 'eternal virgin and social outcast' side.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:32, Reply)
How nerdy?
I love you guys sometimes. I don't play WoW but I do play CoD4 pretty much every night.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:33, Reply)
Well you get
cool points for knowing me and being allowed to hang out with me Lab :p

I am off to my eye appointment! Laters all :)
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:33, Reply)
Lusty!
Really?

*counts hours*

123! Yay!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:34, Reply)
*Stares at feet*
I once played Zelda for 8 hours solid then went to bed and dreamt about it.

Does that help?


Edit: @Al. You were a pleasure sir, and not half as scary as I'd imagined...
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:34, Reply)
Al's pretty normal.
All things considered.

Apart from the freakish lump on his knob.

His body.
*grabs coat*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:38, Reply)
al is lovely in real life.
I particularly enjoyed our conversation we had in the pub about me reading Mills & Boon while I fed my horse.

It was a beautiful moment.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:42, Reply)
Scarpe
when you start taking the game into real life that's when you know something's wrong.

Like walking down the street, finishing a can of drink and trying to press Y in your head to change weapon.

*sigh*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:43, Reply)
Himjim
Or walking down the street and being VERY aware of every CCTV camera, thanks to many hours spent playing Metal Gear Solid and Splinter Cell.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:44, Reply)
Jim
Or walking down the street thinking that demons are chasing you and you've run out of shotgun shells.

Aahh Doom, another great game!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:45, Reply)
Al's nob is pretty freakish too.
But I like it.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:46, Reply)
Or walking down a street
With a sword, slicing wildly at passers-by.
The trying to cast invisibility on yourself when the police turn up.

*sighs*

It never works :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:46, Reply)
There’s an improv game to help your mindset
Where you point at something and name it anything other than what it is.

It’s very embarrassing when you are on your way home from a show and you find yourself walking down the street pointing at a ‘lamp post’ and saying ‘Elephant’, then pointing at a postbox and saying ‘yacht’

I try to only do it in my head now.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:49, Reply)
Herr Doktor
If I was in that situation, I would press shift.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:51, Reply)
I was wandering around London
indulging in criminal activity and then I stumbled into a pub frequented by maniacs.

Great weekend.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:53, Reply)
A Hind D; Colonel, what's a Russian gunship doing here?
It'd be great if life worked like Metal Gear, twat someone round the head then run away for 90 seconds and they'll have forgotten all about it!
(bill, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:54, Reply)
I drank too much
and tried to set myself on fire.

Then spent yesterday prodding the massive blister on the palm of my left hand.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:56, Reply)
Prodding it with what,
Scarpe?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:58, Reply)
Anything I had to hand really.
In the end I gave into temptation and took a pin to it. It wasn’t my best idea.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:00, Reply)
Oh dear.
Bursting the body's defences rarely is.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:01, Reply)
Right
I'm off to lunch. Back later

@Clen: I could have done with that advice yesterday.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:03, Reply)
Friday I went to my local
had far too much to drink and boogied on down to 70s & 80s cheese music.

Saturday I was in a pub up in town and met up with some old friends as well as making some new ones.

Sunday I spent most of the day watching downloaded TV on the laptop in bed. I decided at about 4 that I should get up so went to the pub and played giant Jenga and had Sausage and Mash to eat.
(bill, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:04, Reply)
I drank too much
And then stood in the cold the next day!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:20, Reply)

Sausage & Mash ftw!!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:21, Reply)
I had fun
Went to the Museum, had some drinks, played some guitar and ate some blood.
A good weekend :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:23, Reply)
I'm back!
I still have eyes and apparently my new contacts give me super sight!

*adds to list of superpowers*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:24, Reply)
So, you've got
Super-Sight
Super-Marina-Fixing
Super... Er...
That's it, isn't it?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:25, Reply)
Welcome back Badger
So just how super is this supersight?

*hugs*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:26, Reply)
Herr Doktor
enough magnification to see your peen.

Rolf.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:27, Reply)
Hahaha!
Jim, you bastard, that made me laugh like a mong!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:28, Reply)
Damn you jim
I'm at this point trying not to laugh like a mong as well!

I may have to go and smoke just to let it out. The laugh, not my peen!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:31, Reply)
Al
Lusty's get Sky 1
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:34, Reply)
@al
You can pick up many a fine thing with my nipples if you twist them just right.

Edit: @ethel and the discovery channel!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:35, Reply)
Lusty
Would that not make you a Telly Tubby?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:38, Reply)
Kaol
You forget my main superpower... Complicating things!!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:41, Reply)
@Dok
Are you trying to say I'm fat and a funny colour?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:42, Reply)
Lusty
No, you're lovely, but with all this picking up TV with your nipples, where else would you display the pictures? Unless you get plugged in somehow!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:46, Reply)
I'm afraid I can't tell you dok
It's a secret.
*taps nose*

I might show you at the next bash if I get drunk enough and you ask me nicely...
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:48, Reply)
I always ask nicely.
That's were I think I go wrong!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:52, Reply)
anyway
enough about my nipples. I'm sure b3ta land has nicer things to think about.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:54, Reply)
The teletubbies
Was filmed about 5 miles from me. Some rabbits escaped from there onto a friend's land. His Dad shot them.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:55, Reply)
Like beards?
*goes to happy place*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:55, Reply)
Lab
That's great, I wish I could have seen the faces.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:56, Reply)
Yay, it's lunchtime!
Alcohol, cigarettes and meat.
*smiles*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 12:58, Reply)
*strokes beard*
Don't think I'm not still mad at you TGB. I'm all sleepy at work thinking about snuggly bugs =[

I'm also very bored. Time to play minesweeper me thinks.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:00, Reply)
*strokes V's beard*
I'm sorry will you forgive me *hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:01, Reply)
heh
you still playing that Al?

:p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:02, Reply)
Al
I have a risk clone on the iPhone ("Lux"), and it also cheats quite a bit :(
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:03, Reply)
Al
Gaz Wookie, he knows how to win it very quickly.

So just how do I bribe the beard judges?

EDIT Oh Captain, what are your best time?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:05, Reply)
You don't
bribes don't work when confronted by beardy goodness! I'm afraid you are just going to have to grow an awesome beard!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:06, Reply)
I will
But it never hurts having an unfair advantage! :)
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:08, Reply)
my Minesweeper times
On my work computer are
7
81
280
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:09, Reply)
Al
that makes me very sad :(
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:12, Reply)
*tempted*
by a child molestor tasche. Especially in the country I shall be visitng next week!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:13, Reply)
My Minesweeper times
here are

18
72
222

Poor, poor al sory to hear that!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:13, Reply)
Afternoon!
I have another interview.

This one is at a school I had an interview for earlier in the year.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:14, Reply)
Nice one Mrs Bin
I'll keep everything crossed for you.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:15, Reply)
Ooo well done Mrs Liab!
Congratulations, and all the best!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:16, Reply)
Mrs L!
Hello :) Ooh good luck with the interview, was it a good school?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:16, Reply)
I don't have any of my best times at work
Nor can I remember any of them.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:17, Reply)
Minesweeper
Mine:

31
9999
9999

Only played it once on this machine!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:22, Reply)
Thanks guys
It was a good school GB.

It was one that had been failing. So the Head Teacher was taken out and a new one put in. In the last Ofsted it was 'good'. (Which is better than it sounds).
The area a school is in doesn't matter nearly as much as the leadership.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:22, Reply)
Ooh
well keep us posted :)
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:24, Reply)
Mrs Liab
So, were you interviewed during the reign of the old head teacher?

It all sounds very promising!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:26, Reply)
'noon all
I have nothing interesting to say. My weekend involved packing, moving house and cleaning, with a brief interlude for not getting the internet to work and a much-needed trip to the pub.

Al - that online risk game is easy if you stop playing it like you would with people and think about how predictable the computer players are. My record so far is world domination in six turns.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:28, Reply)
Afternoon all!
I've been and signed on and been to college today, what a busy little bee.

How was the weekend for everyone?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:29, Reply)
No Lab
I was interviewed by the current head.
It came down to me and one other person. The reason I didn't get it was that the head at my training school gave me a really shitty reference. The content of this reference came to the attention of my mentor and it ended up with the head getting a bollocking.

The Head of this school said that if she had any more vacancies then she would let me know as she wanted me to join the school.
I am still going to give it everything I've got as I don't want to assume anything.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:32, Reply)
Hey Wookiee and Lucy
Sounds like a plan Mrs L *keeps fingers crossed*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:35, Reply)
Oh noes
The thread died!

In other news, I am quire pleased as I went to college (as I said) and met my mum for lunch afterwards as she works in the college. The pleased bit comes from the fact that there was homemade curry in the cafe for 2quid! Result!

So rather than having manky old sausage and chips or having to make something when I got home, I had a bonus curry meal today.

And we're having Toad in the Hole tonight.

It'll be a Good Food Day.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:42, Reply)

Whats this risk game everyones playing - used to LOVE playing that with the Uni pals. Nice cheap way to kill an evening. And the dastardly plots and allegiances were always hilarious. gimmegimmelinkylinkyplzplz
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:43, Reply)
Hello LvP!
Mmmm...toad in the hole....*drools*

Oh, sorry about that.

*blushes and wipes drool off LvP*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:44, Reply)
Dammit
I've been busy today, so unable to contribute to the tomfoolery happening hereabouts.

How is everyone today?
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:45, Reply)
Hi Lucy
Result with the cheap curry. I'm having chinese tonight, nice and quick as I have to go shopping.

Hi K2, How's sunny Scotland? Good weekend?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:46, Reply)
Hi Lab!
Thats ok, don't worry about the drool. I understand.
Some foods are just worth drooling over.

I love food. I honestly can't think of anything worse than not having much appetite. I think I'd rather die.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:46, Reply)
Afternoon all
I'm back at work after a horribly agonising few days off involving a rather embarrassing/comedy (depending on your point of view) medical complaint....!

How are we all this fine afternoon? I'm currently ordering more gadgets to play with because, er, we really NEED to upgrade the AV gear in the boardroom. Yes, honestly boss, we do.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:48, Reply)
Sam
I am thinking you put something in something or something up something with hilarious results! (For us, probably not for you...)
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:51, Reply)
Can't be arsed to read the whole thread
But scrolled up a few to find talk of toad in the hole...

Have you seen the Nigel Slater recipe Lucy? You take the skins off the sausages and wrap them in pancetta instead, and add wholegrain mustard and maybe a dash of cream to the batter. Makes a great dish even better!

*wants toad in the hole now*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:51, Reply)
Sunny Scotland
is not. It's dull, cold and windy :(

But I did have a fun weekend, so that's good. Et tu?
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:51, Reply)
Sadly not TGB
(although that can be arranged for a small fee)

It does involve my arse and rather more blood than I'm comfortable with coming out of that part of my body. And some bonus pus as well, there's a lovely image for you all. At least I can sit down now for the first time in days, despite eating ibuprofen like sweets!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:52, Reply)
Hmm
I think I was happier with the somethings ;p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:54, Reply)
K2k6
It's cold, wet and windy here as well. Half of a good weekend though, Saturday was great in the pub, Sunday was bad in the rain taking pictures of football.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:54, Reply)
oooh
Sam that sounds like a damned good recipe for Toad in the Hole. I'll try that one day. Probably not today though as I promised my dad I'd cook Toad in the Hole, baked beans and mash for him as he's on night shifts and it'll cheer him up before he goes.
And also cos I'm creeping a bit as he's helping me choose a new car. :)
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:54, Reply)
Sam
That does not sound nice at all.

*sympathy*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:56, Reply)
Ha
Thread killer!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:06, Reply)
*yawns*
Is it home time yet?

I dunno why I bother coming to work, I don't do anything. My day would be more productive staying at home and watching tv.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:07, Reply)
Al
I was thinking I need to update them as the pictures are so old but I thought I should ask you as you are so fond of them! :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:10, Reply)
Badger
I do not a lot at work myself, still I'd rather be here with you lot than at home with daytime TV!

But then again I do have a load of movies I could watch.

Al that's a great idea!

EDIT I'm laughing as I type this, I have to go smoke now!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:11, Reply)
I've been trying to negotiate some sort of 'working from home' arrangement
as I feel that the only thing better than sitting in work doing nothing all day and getting paid for it would be to do the same at home, where I wouldn't have to leave the house at 8, could sit in my pants and smoke as much weed as I wanted. And not have to listen to Radio 1!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:14, Reply)
*prods thread with a stick*
*prods it again*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:20, Reply)
*starts setting fire to things*

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:22, Reply)
*puts out fire*
*confiscates stick*

*gives clendrix a nice jigsaw to do instead*
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:23, Reply)
*puts fire out*
Drixy I was sitting in the corner having coffe and cake, want some?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:24, Reply)
People!
Dok, just had a tiny chocolatey biscuit thing at my meeting, so no ta. Waiting for boss to arrive for next meeting so I can finally have some lunch.

Boss tried to have meeting with me before, but I told him I was too busy and sent him away.

Boss is lovely.

Al, Lucy has kindly given me a jigsaw, so I shall behave.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:26, Reply)
Ok Al
As long as you don't come up with some kind of weird blowjob smilie....
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:27, Reply)
I love jigsaws
But unfortunately, a well trained ape would probably be better am them than I am. I have to stick with the kiddies ones that are nice and simple with big pieces.

Which is a shame.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:28, Reply)
*eats last piece of jigsaw*
*runs around screaming*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:28, Reply)
Clendrix
if you're not good I'll have to send you to the freshly shaven men room again *looks stern*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:30, Reply)
Whenever there's a screaming child,
I feel a sudden urge to lash out at them, hard in the face.

Little buggers.

EDIT: (Oh, and 'noon campers)
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:31, Reply)
Badger
It's OK. A sound birching from Al and I'll be sorted.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:31, Reply)
OK Drixy
I'll just eat it all myself then :p
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:32, Reply)
Jigsaws are easy.
You just need scissors to make it fit.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:32, Reply)
Random news today
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/7719369.stm - This reminds me of inspector gadget.
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/7402363.stm - A robot conductor?!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:32, Reply)
*adds to list*
ok I'll see what I can do...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:33, Reply)
All of a sudden
I'm thinking about a b3ta real life challenge - organise into teams each with a list of smilies to complete. Get pished then see which team does the best smilies.

It'd be like a scavenger hunt only...not.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:37, Reply)
*sighs*
I love a good birching, me.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:37, Reply)
Badger
I still like :p. Could you do :-* as well?

EDIT

Yes Drixy, and you need one as well!

Captain, that sounds like a great idea to do at a bash.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:37, Reply)
What does
:-* represent? Is it some kind of side whistling?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:38, Reply)
Badger
I thought you would know that one.

It's kiss. *hugs*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:40, Reply)
Ahhh *hugs*
yeah Al get your mind out the gutter!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:41, Reply)
I'd like to see
^_^ If you can get your eyes all pointy like that I'd be very impressed =p

Or perhaps ='[ with a nice square mouth.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:44, Reply)
Al
That's what we like about you, mind in the gutter

EDIT Also Badger do :-x or :x.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:47, Reply)
It'd be wrong of me
to suggest :-0C===8 wouldn't it?
(bill, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:51, Reply)
Aaargh!
I have to go to a stupid meeting, which means I have to do a lot of maths first. Rubbish.

I thought :-* represented some sort of rimming manouevre.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:51, Reply)
Bad Wookie
Have some cake.

Bill, what's that one then?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:52, Reply)
Hmm
It seems that there are going to be quite a lot of these pics at this rate..
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:53, Reply)
Thanks Bill
I now have a tea flavoured monitor.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:53, Reply)
Al
I don't believe you. Why would you tell me lies?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 14:59, Reply)
@Herr Dok
Al's correct, Kipper tie realisation is a growing problem amongst footballers and Stars In Their Eyes contestants.
(bill, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:04, Reply)
Mmmmmmm
Tea flavoured monitor. Yummeh!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:04, Reply)
Thanks bill
I now have to believe everything al tells me, as punishment for besmirching his good name.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:06, Reply)
Has Wookiee gone to his meeting yet
or is he doing his maths?

I have done feck all today. I'd better make a start on my essay.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:10, Reply)
Bill
I have questions about your blowjob smiley (:-0C===8)

1. Is the blower a dwarf, or is the blowee the owner of a gargantuan cock?

or

2. Is the blowee quite close, and the blower very far away?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:11, Reply)
Wanders in
Anyone still about?

*EDIT* obviously, yes...
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:11, Reply)
Hi DG
Good weekend?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:12, Reply)
Hi Dok
Splendid, yes. Ancrenne came to stay on Friday, and I dropped her at the station this morning. Our weekend has consisted of walking, cooking and drinking. 'Twas lully.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:13, Reply)
Lab
Are you just feeling inferior from that picture? :p

Hey DG
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:14, Reply)
Hey Badger
How goes it?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:15, Reply)
Hello DG!
And yes TGB, if that cock:face ratio is the norm, then I am feeling inadequate!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:16, Reply)
DG
That sounds like an AWESOME weekend.

Bill. Now I'll never believe you or al again!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:17, Reply)
Somebody say something sensible
I've been crying tears of laughter in the office @ www.b3ta.com/questions/eccentrics/post294208
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:18, Reply)
Income tax
is a necessary evil. Apparently.

Sensible enough for you, Cap?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:22, Reply)
It goes well thanks DG
Sounds like you had an awesome weekend too :)
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:23, Reply)
Not even close DG
I nearly started laughing at that. Help me somebody =[
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:25, Reply)
Hey V,
I was just reading that one whilst eating my lunch! How funny. It is good.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:26, Reply)
Sorry V
I am still surprised no one has explained the difference in scale of :-0C===8 as "because it is a child's face"
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:27, Reply)
Arse
Oh well - I tried!

Just posted a quick linky above this thread for anyone going to teh Edinburgh bash next year, if anyone's interested.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:28, Reply)
Hi again Drixy
I just thought while I was out smoking, and a Devon & Cornwall ambulance went past.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:28, Reply)
@ Lab
No, the proportions are about right, a proper Kipper Tie is about twice head length.

However if it was as it has been misinterperted as then maybe it'd need one less = sign.
(bill, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:28, Reply)
Dok
I'm surprised! Most Cornish drivers avoid leaving the homeland for fear of motorways and also the hatred they have for the foreigners they encounter.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:32, Reply)
DG
That's where I'm planning on staying.

Drixy, I know, I've met a few Cornish folks.

Badger, you are a very naughty lady.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:33, Reply)
Naughty? Me?
Noooo you have me confused with another badger.

*is innocents*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:38, Reply)
Ok Badger
I'll believe you. ;)

*snuggle*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 15:52, Reply)
*yawns*
I accidentally did a bit of my essay while everyone was gone.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:02, Reply)
That just won't do clendrix.
You'll have to make sure you have extra fun for the rest of the week to make up for it!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:03, Reply)
Grrrr
Meeting cancelled at the last minute again, so two hours of frantic work for nothing. Bah.

*goes back to winning Risk*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:04, Reply)
Wookiee?
You still there?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:06, Reply)
@ al
No. What happened to it?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:07, Reply)
Yeah al
I noticed it, bit strange if you ask me.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:07, Reply)
Quick poll:
I'm going to grow a moustache, either like:

A Mexican,
The guy from American Chopper
Tom Selleck.

Votes please
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:08, Reply)
Tom Selleck.
He is a dreamboat.

*swoons*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:09, Reply)
Selleck
it'll be nice as PI.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:09, Reply)
Mexican
gets my vote. Tom Selleck's just looks gay.

Not that there's anything wrong with being gay, I hasten to add. Some of my friends are very happy.

*EDIT* al, I just knew you were going to say that.

*sighs and shakes head*
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:10, Reply)
Red
Mexican, it'd look great.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:11, Reply)
@ himjim
I was going to groan, but I'll let you off as it made me smirk.

2 all to Mexican and Selleck

Keep 'em coming. (as they say in several of my film collection)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:11, Reply)
It was spaztastic
Although I wasn't sure if it was my shitty work internet connection or not
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:12, Reply)
Folks
I'm about to go home so I'll see whoever is here later tonight.

Gud Byeeeee
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:16, Reply)
Al
I don't think I will be able to find an actual erect phallus at such short notice.. will a CDC suffice?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:17, Reply)
It spazzed out for me too
it was like *Spaz*!
(bill, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:19, Reply)
Another thread-spazzy victim here
This day has now been soured by the Officer in my current case not being able to spell certain keywords properly. Therefore a day of script-running and analysing has been in vain.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:22, Reply)
I'm still here,
although I'm horrified at how busy things have got all of a sudden.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:23, Reply)
Ok
I'll try find a purple pen
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:24, Reply)
Good.
I am now having a crisis because of incompetent nobbery by brainless mongs.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:24, Reply)
hmm
*wonders what competent nobbery is like*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:29, Reply)
I'm really busy this afternnon :(
I don't like it.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:32, Reply)
Competent nobbery
is very pleasant, so I'm told.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:32, Reply)
Cures for headaches
Does anybody have a suggestion for a cure to my headache* that I could try in THE NAME OF SCIENCE!

*other than drilling a hole in my skull
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:34, Reply)
Well Al
I guess I will just lament the fact I won't be getting any competent nobbery off you.

I had to bite my lip really hard to stop myself laughing whilst typing that
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:39, Reply)
I'd love to see a moustache
That were capable of molesting children.

If I owned such a moustache and it got convicted would I be forced to go to prison even though I'm only landlord to said moustache and as such an innocent party?

:edit: TGB was your lip biting supposed to be so suggestive?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:39, Reply)
If I wasn't
Secretly in love with Mrs Al, things would be so much easier.

Also, V, have you tried drinking a bunch of water?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:40, Reply)
*waggles eyebrows at V*
Me suggestive? Noooooo
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:41, Reply)
Well,
Headaches are caused by inflammation of the membranes surrounding the brain, thus raising the intracranial pressure. The most effective thing I can think of would be to remove a section of skull overlying the painful area (I would recommend using an oscillating saw such as one of the Stryker bonesaws), thus relieving the pressure. Application of a topical anti-inflammatory cream such as Hydrocortisone directly onto the meninges should treat the swelling, allowing you to glue your skull back together after a couple of hours.

EDIT - V, you'd be going to prison I'm afraid. If they separated your moustache from your face in order to incarcerate it alone, it would surely count as an execution.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:42, Reply)
@Kaol
I must admit I've not drunk as much today as I normally would. Still, 1.5l of water and a couple of cans of something* should be enough to stop me from being dehydrated**

*I don't know the name of the drink I was drinking.

**I'm assuming this is where you're coming from.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:44, Reply)
Strange SMS
I just got the following SMS from my boss:

"If I said 420 to you would you know of What I speak?"

I'm not sure if I should admit that I do know what he means or not!
(bill, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:45, Reply)
Bill...
That's lost on me, is it a techy thing?

V, yep, you got my meaning.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:47, Reply)
Reply back
It means your watch is broken it's 445

edit: Kaol it is a druggie thing :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:47, Reply)
Not exactly a tech thing
Although it has helped along a few server installs in my time:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/420_(cannabis_culture)
(bill, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:50, Reply)
It's a drug thing and I failed to recognise it?
*ties noose*

I've failed at life.

EDIT: Oh, that drug. *shrugs* I can understand not getting it now.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:51, Reply)
@Kaol
I love your sig!
(bill, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:58, Reply)
I love competent nobbery.
Rare though :(

Crisis isn't my fault, but I'm going to get the blame.

:(
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 16:59, Reply)
@ clendrix
That's not fair, do you at least get to glass the person who's really at fault?
(bill, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 17:01, Reply)
*grins*
Thank you Bill!

*hugs Clendrix*

EDIT: I'm off to pick my brother up from school now, 'cos he's crippled and can't drive.
Catch you folks later (Fallout-dependant).
Bye!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 17:02, Reply)
*sighs*
What a wonderful hug.

Bill, the person who caused the fuck up is one of the prickliest people I've ever met. A glassing might be the only option I have.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 17:04, Reply)
I've just finally found out
that I'm not off to Poland so I'm going to go home and have Lemsip instead!

Night All!

Edit: Yay, Glassing! Fight! Fight! Fight!
(bill, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 17:04, Reply)
Bye y'all
I'm off now too WOO!

Catch you later :)
*huggles*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 17:12, Reply)
Tally ho!
I am off also. Until tomorrow, chaps. Have yourselves a lovely evening.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 17:39, Reply)
OK groovers...
I've started an evening thread.
*turns out lights*
*closes door*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 17:55, Reply)

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