Following directly on from Purpledoris
you've now had your delicious last meal and been horribly executed.

What song(s) do you want playing at your funeral?

I want Blue Oyster Cult's Don't Fear the Reaper, because no matter how many people joke that they want that at their funeral, I still think it's funny. My equally humour-retarded friend wants The Jam's Going Underground.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:32, 110 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

U2
Coldplay
Sarah McGlauklan
5ive
(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:34, Reply)

ooh
which 5ive song?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:34, Reply)

Slam dunk da funk.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:36, Reply)

Ahhh
a classic!

A popular theme nowadays is to insist on your friends wearing bright colours and party clothes to your funeral rather than black so no one is morbid, etc. If you can do that I think I'll insist they all pair up and wear horse costumes.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:37, Reply)

Hmmm
Ella Fitzgerald - "At last"

Or

Scott Walker - "Funeral Tango"
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:36, Reply)

Top Gun theme tune

naa naa naa na na na na na naaaa nana naa nana naa nana naa naa etc
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:36, Reply)

I can only sing your na na nas
in the tune to 5ive's If You've Got the Feeling. Blame Chomp
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:39, Reply)

it turned into
the hitchiker's theme for me
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:44, Reply)

I have
sung murdered that on karaoke. *ashamed*
( djtrialprice, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:48, Reply)

Already got it agreed with my parents
That should I meet my untimely demise saving a baby's life/choking on a Pot Noodle, that I'm having the Mario theme tune at my funeral. And then when I'm lowered down into the ground or to where you get cremated, the sound when Mario goes down a green pipe is to be played.

I want it to be as stupid as possible, funerals depress me beyond belief (funny that) and I don't want people to have to go through that for mine.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:37, Reply)

that amused me
and I've never heard anyone suggest that before, even my Nintendo obsessed friends. 2 points to you sir!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:38, Reply)

Greenday - Time of Your Life
Robbie Williams - Angels
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:39, Reply)

I hope this is said with some irony

if only there was a character to denote irony...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:51, Reply)

I think that's only the
second OT post I've ever clicked.

Give yourself a pat on the back
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:52, Reply)

I'm glad you spotted it
because it is a worryingly common funeral setup. They'd play that shit over my dead body!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:43, Reply)

hur hur!

(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:20, Reply)

oh, just some sad old country songs and bluegrass
'Sing Me Back Home' Merle Haggard [since I've been executed]
'I Hear a Sweet Voice Calling' Osborne Brothers
and a grave side hymn should be 'Swing Low Sweet Chariot'
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:40, Reply)

*yawn*
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post352346
( djtrialprice, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:41, Reply)

That was a whole year ago
I wasn't posting here then, and I bet a lot of others weren't either.
Don't be mean-spirited.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:48, Reply)

what evs roota clearly we are all boring sods

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:50, Reply)

I will mash him up yeah
He should stop running his mouth in this hood. He don't own it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:52, Reply)

he's being a trick ass bitch

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:56, Reply)

Yeah
whatever one of those is
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Run your mouth, with your chest out
Go get you a wreck check, dealt with real quick
All that fake tough guy shit, rough guy shit
All that rah rah shit, go get your neck slit

Playa.
( djtrialprice, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:02, Reply)

And it's not my fault
you're not awesome enough to be here on time :P
( djtrialprice, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:02, Reply)

On time for what?
I'm right on time for the Annual Funeral Song Festival 2010
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:07, Reply)

Yeah, but it's totally commercial this year
It's all about the sponsorship and VIP passes. Last year it was real, last year it was hardcore. For the fans like.

But you don't understand. You had to be there!
( djtrialprice, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:11, Reply)

I'm going to dunk your head down a portaloo hole in a minute

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:12, Reply)

Roota and I are just going into
the privacy booth for a few minutes. Remember: if it's rocking, don't come a-knockin'
( djtrialprice, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:14, Reply)

and if it's pongin'
don't come a mongin'
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:15, Reply)

POTD

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:17, Reply)

Ta la

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:21, Reply)

I'm quite impressed
that I asked it almost a year to the day, it's almost a tradition now.

Also, who memorises the off topic questions? Jebus
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:11, Reply)

Iron Man
by Black Sabbath

I hope for the music to be timed so that, as my cardboard box is pushed into the oven with a broom*, all that can be heard is Ozzy Osbourne dementedly declaring
"I am IRON MAN!"

*_{I expect I'll be broke by then, so I'm envisioning a Co-op funeral...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:43, Reply)

In that case...
...Bruce Springsteen - "I'm on Fire" would be quite fun.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:48, Reply)

"Can't start a fire,
Can't start a fire without a spark..."

Just as someone's trying to strike a soggy match on the pyre
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:49, Reply)

You're having Richard Reid at your funeral?
You A-List muthafuckah!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:04, Reply)

In that case play Prodigy...
...'Firestarter'
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:26, Reply)

or 'All light up' by The Pretty Things

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:32, Reply)

Highway to Hell
or 'Fire' by the Crazy World of Arthur Brown if I'm cremated.

Or 'Voodoo Child: Slight Return' by Jimi Hendrix:

'If I don't see you no more in this world, I'll meet you in the next one, and don't be late...DON'T BE LATE!'


or if it's a burial, perhaps 'Down down, deeper and down' by the wonderful Status Quo.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:43, Reply)

I'm having a disco wake, and I want them weeping, I tell you!
There won't be enough time at the funeral to have all my choices.

The Tigger Song, by Tigger (I fucking mean it, right. Read the words.)
It's Not Easy Being Green, by Kermit The Frog

There is a Light that Never Goes Out, by the Smiths
Take Me to the Mardi Gras, by Paul Simon
Claire, by Gilbert O'Sullivan (it's about paedos AND incest)
A Whiter Shade of Pale, but I'll have the Annie Lennox version because it's twinklier and people will listen to the lyrics and cry more if it's not the familiar version.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:47, Reply)

(and because Procul Harum were fucking SHIT)
I'd rather listen to a rectal fucking prolapse...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:00, Reply)

I've only heard Whiter Shade of Pale and the b side
But I can't remember the b side. I have it though, because I stole my dad's vinyl.

Annie Lennox's version is pure Mothers' Day compilation gear, but I don't care because I love her voice and it's more twinkly and lovely, and it sounds more like she's singing about me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Psychedelia for those that think The Beatles invented it.
You should check out Bob James' version of Take Me To The Mardi Gras.

It is approximately 85 trillion times better than old Gaylord's version. Don't just take my word for it: ASK RUN-DMC!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:05, Reply)

Oh I couldn't care who invented what
You know I couldn't.
Music does things to me. It's a chemical reaction. I hear something, it affects me, despite myself.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:10, Reply)

Monty, I've just listened to that Bob James version
1) It's got no words (how am I gonna make them cry if they don't hear about me laying my fucking burdens down and resting my head upon that shore and wearing my starry fucking crown??? eh???)

2) It's quite alright for a little boogie but it DOES sound a little like a rejected themetune for a 70s sitcom or an 80s quiz show. I can just see Tom O'Connor welcoming the celebrity guests as this fades out.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:18, Reply)

It's been sampled by more people that you could shake a stick at
'The first four measures of "Take Me to the Mardi Gras" (a Paul Simon original) includes a bell and drum groove that is one of hip hop's fundamental breakbeats. Run-D.M.C.'s "Peter Piper", LL Cool J's "Rock the Bells", the Beastie Boys' "Hold it Now, Hit it", Missy Elliott's "Work It," Will.i.am's "I Got it from my Mama,", "I Want You" from Common's Finding Forever, and most recently "Take It Back" from Wu-Tang Clan's 8 Diagrams.'

AND it doesn't have that ghastly gnome singing on it.

*does headspin*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:31, Reply)

Thank you for the info (not being sarcastic)
Which version is sampled on Work It?

And sorry dude, but all that talk of wearing your summer clothes and not wanting any more, that is as important to me as the music.
And the New Orleans jazz at the end, ah, that's what gives me the bumps mate.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:34, Reply)

He did the theme tune to Taxi, so your theme tune observation is most salient.
Missy samples Bob James' bells from the start of the tune (or first few minutes at any rate), but they're given some kind of weird filter I think.


When I used to DJ I used to cut up two copies of this for the b-boys. Ah, THE GOOD OLD DAYS.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:50, Reply)

Aw man, how ace am I
I knew something without knowing it.

Well, for gorgeous Taxi alone, Bob goes up there with Gary Portnoy and John Sullivan.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Procul Harum
'A Salty Dog' is quite a good album.

Annie Lennox is a shit bag and so far up her own arse she needs a pit helmet.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:06, Reply)

I don't care what she is.
I like the sound of her voice and a lot of her songs. I know this makes me a garage forecourt kind of person but I care not. I have far worse musical skeletons in my closet.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:09, Reply)

Want to swap skeletons?
I own an All Saints CD.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:12, Reply)

i own All Saints Karaoke Cd
By Nice and Spicy (who had previously performed on Spice Girls Karaoke)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:14, Reply)

I own more than one Marc Almond CD...
...which is where I first heard A Salty Dog. (Funny title considering the rumours about Marc Almond having his stomach pumped.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:34, Reply)

One of the best bullshit stories ever, that one.
I have been passing it on as fact for over 20 years now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:45, Reply)

I dunno mate...
10cc of it was mine and I was number 145 in the line.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:52, Reply)

I'm not in looooooove, so dooon't forget iiiiit

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:53, Reply)

Careful dear....
...or you might get 10cc.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:12, Reply)

I'm Mandeeeeeeeeee
Flyyyy meeeeeeee
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:15, Reply)

'I don't like semen - oh no! I love it!'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:14, Reply)

Load up, load up, load up
yer ruuuubber bullets!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:15, Reply)

Bugger.
I can not think of any more 10cc songs hence no more puns.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:28, Reply)

Why can't you???
heathen
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:34, Reply)

I didn't like it at all, I'm afraid.
Though the b-side of the title track's 45 is acceptable hard rock, if I remember correctly.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:14, Reply)

The Final Countdown
preformed by that crazy ukele kid

dodododo dooooloododo dodododo doooo dodododo doooo dooooo dooooooooo ooooOOooooOOooo
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:50, Reply)

i want a link for this
NOW!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:51, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAg5KjnAhuU
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:53, Reply)

brilliant
until he sings
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:55, Reply)

But he does his own echo!
VENUS venus venus
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:00, Reply)

greatest comment on the Rock version of this:
"we can see the reflection of the lyrics on your computer through your glasses"
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:59, Reply)

I'm pretty sure that it turns into the theme of zelda at one point in that video.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:57, Reply)

for some reason on my computer
I have a piano version of that done by the guy from disturbed

it's brilliant

edit: ooh an orchestra version www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gx_GossODwg
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:59, Reply)

I quite like those, there was some occrasture that went doing loads of themes of video games live, that would have been quite good to see.
Check out this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRv8gnBMiWM&feature=related
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:05, Reply)

will bookmark for later
turns out I'm almost late for work

toodle pip
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:09, Reply)

Toodles noodles.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:17, Reply)

.....DOOOOO
Oh man, that's the best 30 second song ever made.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:54, Reply)

i plan
to be immortal

saves the hassle
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:51, Reply)

so far
so good, eh?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:12, Reply)

Wagner's 'The Ring Cycle"

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:51, Reply)

all of it?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:52, Reply)

Yes.
You find out who cares.

(or rather you don't which makes it all the more pointless.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:57, Reply)

Have you read "Penetrating Wagner's ring"?


www.amazon.co.uk/Penetrating-Wagners-Ring-Capo-Paperback/dp/0306804379/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1263909250&sr=8-1
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Hahaha!
I am ordering that!
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:57, Reply)

I've got my own copy.
but then, one of the modules in my MMus was Wagner...
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 16:02, Reply)

Hot and Cold by that Ukranian band
would be awesomne, i think it would really compliment the burning viking buriel ship floating down the Thames
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:53, Reply)

You couldn't have asked me this before you killed me, could you?
Christ, this place is horrible.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Cheer Up Evergreen

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:55, Reply)

damn frog!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:56, Reply)

Evergreen
Will Young
( djtrialprice, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:03, Reply)

A friend of mine was sent off to the sounds of...
..The Pogues - 'Sick Bed of Cuchulainn' much to the disdain of the priest.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:09, Reply)

That is an AWESOME way to go

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:44, Reply)

Life in a northern town
by dream academy

or run by snow patrol
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:14, Reply)

So What
by the Anti-nowhere league

"you boring little cunt"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:16, Reply)

TUNE

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:31, Reply)

other brands of
decongestant in sweet form are also available
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:33, Reply)

i'll probably donate my body to science
so med students can laugh at my pale flabby body and play with my willy
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:18, Reply)

as I burn
it'll be 'teardrop' by massive attack, and as everyone gets up to file out they will exit to the tune of 'I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts' and any cunt who doesn't sing will get thrown out of the wake
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I know what I'd have on constant repeat
Brutal Truth - Collateral Damage.

That'd get annoying pretty quickly.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Drawing Flies by Soundgarden.
And I'll haunt anyone who doesn't headbang.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:48, Reply)

Go with "She Was a Teenage Zombie"
By Murderdolls. Cracking tune.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:01, Reply)

Aw i went to see them and got a plectrum

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:02, Reply)

Tune.
And marvellously appropriate.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:01, Reply)

How hideously boring.
/Not a Soundgarden fan
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:11, Reply)

LATE ENTRY
How could I forget?
Prop Me Up Beside the Jukebox If I Die by Joe Diffie
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Punk Rocker
The Teddy Bears, feat. Iggy Pop


EDIT: or the Laughing Gnome, by Bowie
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 16:00, Reply)

Lady Godiva's Operation - Velvet Underground
Digeridoo - Aphex Twin
Fuck A Stranger In The Ass - Venetian Snares
Atmosphere - Russ Abbott
Fan-Dabi-Dozi - The Krankies

and of course

Cunts - Butthole Surfers
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Must admit...
...there is something for all the family in that selection.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 16:14, Reply)

It's a mini rave
The pall bearers will be dishing out the ecto's, and there will be a DMT/Salvia smoking room at the back.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 16:20, Reply)

the perfect song if I'm old
The Stranglers: Let me down easy

www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2nCf_IjRTM&feature=related
(knackerz is skinning up, Wed 20 Jan 2010, 2:11, Reply)