Evening thread.
I have wine. What have you got?
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 19:42, 135 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

One glass of Shiraz to last the evening
The rest went into a beef casserole for Sunday.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 19:46, Reply)

Ha!
I have buckets of wine.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 19:49, Reply)

Good stuff or plonk?
Not out of a box I hope.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 19:54, Reply)

*looks sheepish*
Maybe.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 19:57, Reply)

Them Stowels of Chelsea bastards have a lot to answer for.
Still if you enjoy it, drink on.

When you reach my great age and can afford more than £3.79 a bottle, you will look back on Today and wonder "How could I?"
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:01, Reply)

I'm 44 and old and solvent enough to know better.
I just like easy drinking wine.

It's Australian and has Kangaroos on the box. What's not to love.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:04, Reply)

Do you take the bag out of the box when nearly empty,
Inflate it by blowing up the spout and empty it very easily?

You can then re-inflate it and use it as a comfy silver cushion.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:26, Reply)

Haha!
One thing I don't need is style tips.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:36, Reply)

you can also
snip off the top corner to release the vacuum but you will then have to find another cushion......
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 22:57, Reply)

Roo Bros
FTW!

Evening. We has wine too. Out of a box, but with a zebra on it as it's nearly pay day and can't afford kangaroos.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:37, Reply)

I'm starting to think there's some kind of wine safari I'm missing out on.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:38, Reply)

Get with the hip crowd.

( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:40, Reply)

Indeed.
Oh, I has dinna. Chile con carne FTW also.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:41, Reply)

Booking my tickets this weekend.
Tell Tourettes I love her.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:44, Reply)

*LOVES BGB HARD*

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:10, Reply)

Nope! not hard enough.
Try harder.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:16, Reply)

It'll never be hard enough.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:22, Reply)

My cider bottle has a tree on it.
Does this count?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:44, Reply)

Foilage is sooooo last year.
It's all about the mammals this year.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:46, Reply)

Hooray for me
I've just found the remains of a bottle of Sloe Gin behind the weetabix.

Enough for the whole evening.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:46, Reply)

If it doesn't have a living thing on it, it doesn't count.
Preferably a mammal.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:46, Reply)

The Sloes are still in the bottle
Does that count?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:49, Reply)

On the packaging, damnit!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:50, Reply)

No, nothing at the moment.
But if I get really pissed, I may stick it up my arse.

Would that count?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:53, Reply)

Only if you have threadworm.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:55, Reply)

Probably not
Never mind.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:56, Reply)

SAFARI FAIL

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:57, Reply)

Yay! but what a silly place to put your alcohol.

( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:47, Reply)

Agreed
But it does lead to suprises though.

I know I put maddie somewhere too. If only I could remember where?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:51, Reply)

I don't like surprises.
Not when it comes to alcohol or penis size.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:52, Reply)

Tell the nice doctor about what is troubling you.
On the couch with you.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:55, Reply)

Only if you have that New Scientist magazine handy.

( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:57, Reply)

Oh yes
Do you want to hear about Anti-matter?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:07, Reply)

She wants this
fotozup.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/weird-creepy-ads-300-400x354.jpg
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:10, Reply)

She's due a good paddling

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:13, Reply)

*whimpers*

( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:13, Reply)

*ditto*
^ He said PADDLE up there too!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:16, Reply)

All I ever wanted in life is a roof over my head, a full belly and a sore bottom.
IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:18, Reply)

Me too.
Completely exactly.
God I wish we were still lezzas
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:22, Reply)

Ben Dover must be foaming right now.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:24, Reply)

I KNOW!!!! : (
Still it's nice to have a kindred spirit.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:29, Reply)

It'll hurt me more than you.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:17, Reply)

Not if your doing it right.

( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:19, Reply)

A mug of tea
and a tin of Mushroom soup.
(kitescreech still here, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 19:46, Reply)

A brand new toaster

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 19:48, Reply)

You crazy mofo.

( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 19:49, Reply)

But this one's got six buttons.

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:07, Reply)

how many slices?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:12, Reply)

4
with 2 sets of independent controls.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:20, Reply)

the most aspirational of all toasters

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:30, Reply)

One of these days
I plan to invent a toaster with 56 buttons. Have not yet thought of what they'll all do, but I'd just love a toaster with lots of controls.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:34, Reply)

would anybody like any...
...toast?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:39, Reply)

Would you like a cheese and ham Breville?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:48, Reply)

I had to get rid of my Breville.
Or else I would have been the size of a house and severely lacking in vitamins other than those you find in cheese and bread.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:50, Reply)

Story of my life.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:52, Reply)

Funnily enough, the make of my new toaster is Breville
I tried to find a link to it on the Breville homepage, won't actually let me navigate anywhere, so here's a link to it's Amazon page.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:01, Reply)

Perhaps
one of the buttons could be the "Insert a dramatic pause in the toast-marketing mode".
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:49, Reply)

What the effing buggery does a toaster need with six buttons.
It's design gone mad.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:13, Reply)

It's a dual-control toaster.
(almost like those dual control cars that driving instructors have).
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:20, Reply)

so it's a training toaster?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:31, Reply)

Not quite
More like a 'competition toaster'.

Although one use for a multi-control toaster is to teach kids people with too much impatience who are overly fond of pressing buttons the virtues of patience. You could build a multi-slot toaster with multiple eject-buttons and get all of the impatient button-pushers to hover a finger over their buttons. If just one person presses the button before the toasting-cycle is complete, everyone's toast will be undercooked, and the button-pusher will be scorned by the rest of the group for doing this.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:41, Reply)

*mind blows*
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:42, Reply)

Clickah.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:54, Reply)

RIBS and CIDER
and latterly MALTESERS.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 19:53, Reply)

I'd have your babies if it weren't for your meat eating ways.

( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 19:54, Reply)

I find this incredibly comforting.
Does it count that I was vegetarian for twenty-eight whole years?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 19:55, Reply)

To be honest I don't even know why I made that statement.
I've never been naked with a vegetarian yet. They're all too skinny.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 19:59, Reply)

I had a fair paunch as a vegetarian
thanks to an obsession with cheese and crisps. Now I've added meat to the mix it's only my crazed country walking that's keeping me from blobdom.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:08, Reply)

Me too.
Even vegetarianism never got rid of my jelly belly.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:12, Reply)

Don't even talk to me about nachos.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:37, Reply)

*Makes conversation about nachos*

I like cheesy ones.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:40, Reply)

Oh God!
With melted cheese?
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:42, Reply)

Is there any other kind?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:49, Reply)

and chilli and sour cream or cheesy sauce

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:58, Reply)

Is there any other kind?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:02, Reply)

Actually
Fuck cheesy sauce, rubbish Yank wank. Proper cheese melted, green chilis, sour cream, salsa and guacamole. Salt, pepper and Heinz chili sauce.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:04, Reply)

Overload
And you canhave melted cheese AND cheesy sauce.
I prefer sour cream though. Ooh and chilli jam!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:06, Reply)

I made my own chili jam last year.
Maybe I am getting old. Also, that is © Hard Rock Cafe and there are no better nachos.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:17, Reply)

I have no money!
But I have beer vouchers, so pub in a bit
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 19:56, Reply)

Your Mum

(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 19:59, Reply)

Yay! She likes the cheeky ones.

( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:00, Reply)

I'm cooking biscuits
and I have a house that smells of burnt sausage
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:07, Reply)

Why do your biscuits smell of burnt sausage?

( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:09, Reply)

i put the cooker on
and the house filled with sausagey smoke

I think sausages dripped their meaty juices last time they were in there
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:11, Reply)

Clean your cooker silly girl.

( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:14, Reply)

but i prefer biscuits to
cleaning cookers
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:16, Reply)

Nobody likes cleaning cookers.
In fact I don't think I've cleaned mine since I moved in two years ago.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:19, Reply)

I've only been here
3 months. I need less messy sausages

edit: and now it smells of burnt biscuits :(
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:22, Reply)

*Inserts joke about less messy sausages*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:42, Reply)

*inserts joke about sausages dripping meaty juices*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:39, Reply)

hu huh
'inserts'
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:40, Reply)

The best kind of sausage.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:10, Reply)

I beg to differ.

( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:22, Reply)

Cumberland or traditional?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:26, Reply)

I quite like the curly ones.
They tend to reach the spots other sausages cannot reach.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:37, Reply)

I quite like squeezing them out of their skins into balls and tossing them in hot olive oil.
Hmmmm, I think my euphamism is broken.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:42, Reply)

I was getting all exited till now.

( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:43, Reply)

them in hot oil

/obvious
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:44, Reply)

At least 6.4% of my posts are about hand-shandy.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:57, Reply)

A foreboding sense of doom.
And a cold beer.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:29, Reply)

What a cracking combination.
I'd hate to face doom without a drink in my hand.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:36, Reply)

sounds like
and action hero line
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:37, Reply)

How on earth can you sense doom when married to Flimflam?

( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:38, Reply)

Cheer up, chuckles!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:57, Reply)

Fizzy wine, mashed potato with the skins, a desire to sack the vacuuming and do it in the morning.
RAH!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:56, Reply)

Potatoes with skins FTW.
It's where all the goodness is.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:58, Reply)

Innit
and makes me feel less guilty about putting a knob of butter in
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:59, Reply)

Oh come on,
Not the knob of butter routine.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:00, Reply)

Seriously

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:04, Reply)

You said "KNOB"
*snickers behind hand*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:04, Reply)

I think you'll find it's a Marathon
and its melting :)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:05, Reply)

At least its not out of a box

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:59, Reply)

Can I come to yours?
I'll even vacuum for you.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 20:59, Reply)

Oh my God, would you?
Yeah, no probs dude.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:03, Reply)

Can I come as well?
I'll make the toast for you.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:04, Reply)

Yeah!
You'll have to share the spare bed with Noel.
It's a kingsize so you'll be fine.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:05, Reply)

I have healthy pasta & vegetables
I have Mock The Week on
I have a hankering for Weißbier and ice-cream
And I have a detailed electronic communication to write
( djtrialprice, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:12, Reply)

I'm just admiring your eszett there.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:16, Reply)

I'm admiring his gorgeous face

(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:17, Reply)

And the way he's bumming you

(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:18, Reply)

Yeah he's doing well.
Better than you. You bum me with maize snacks.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:19, Reply)

He bums well
He's going to bum me in a tent this summer. At least I hope he is.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:20, Reply)

*sighs*
You're a lucky girl
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:21, Reply)

note to self
bring my own tent and padlocks
( djtrialprice, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:21, Reply)

Nearly at Billy Mill roundabout...

( djtrialprice, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:21, Reply)

I had to look that up

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:23, Reply)

I am an educator

( djtrialprice, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:23, Reply)

You are
We call it 'getting off at Edge Hill'.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:26, Reply)

you're only human

( djtrialprice, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:20, Reply)

Ooh! Nearly forgot!
I has new car!

Granted it's not a very exciting car but it's a new car all the same, as in made this year. I've never had a new car before, I think I may go and do it up the exhaust pipe.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:34, Reply)

Brand new?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:38, Reply)

Yeah.
Only a Peugeot 107 BUT IT'S NEW! AND SHINY!

And fun to drive; it's like a bloody dodgem car with gears.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 22:36, Reply)

I'm jealous.
I'm about to inherit an old Toyota Avensis for the business which I'm quite excited about. I can't imagine actually owning a brand new motor.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:38, Reply)

I've got Goslings rum.
It's got a big black seal balancing a cask. Safari? Circus? Bit tricky.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 21:55, Reply)

I've got a hangover
and work
(knackerz is skinning up, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 0:38, Reply)