Right, fuck sweets, yeah?
What we all want to know is, what're you wearing, and does my bum look big in this?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 10:51, 118 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

pyjamas and fluffy socks, and no your bum does not look big in that.
Incidentally, what *is* that?
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 12 Mar 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Awwww man you Australians are lazy
it's nearly lunchtime and you're still in your PJs.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 10:53, Reply)

nah you're the weird ones.
it's nearly 10 pm here.

although to be fair when I'm on holidays I'm usually still asleep at 10 in the morning.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 12 Mar 2010, 10:54, Reply)

bloody students

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 10:58, Reply)

yeah yeah, like I've never heard that before.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 12 Mar 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Are you still coming to Eng-er-land this autumn?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:07, Reply)

sure am
I have to go up to melbourne on the 31st to lodge my visa papers in person but everything's in place. Got mah moneys and all.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Do you have to give a practical demonstration of your skillz
before they give you a visa?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:10, Reply)

nope.
Just gotta show that I've got no criminal record and that I have money. Which is easily enough done.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Watch out for dogs in your path.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Dogs are scary :(

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 12 Mar 2010, 12:01, Reply)

I'm wearing some rather faded jeans.
They are getting a bit too faded for my liking. People might think I'm german.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Bad news Al:
they already do, liebchen.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Let me guess
it's the way I support long term economic stability and my love of winkle pickers isn't it.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 10:56, Reply)

And your tan leather anorak

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 10:57, Reply)

It's your Scorpions mullet with birdshit streaks,
your pisswash jeans and Hi-Tec hi-tops. And the faint aroma of Zyklon B that you just can't shake.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 10:59, Reply)

HERE I AM!
ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:01, Reply)

No you're not.
You're wearing a ruffle collar and a big hat with a feather in it.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:17, Reply)

I am wearing a big smock pinafore
with patch pockets and big bottons holding the straps.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Bollocks
This is you.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Not on a Friday
I'm not on the deli counter on a Friday
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Aw!!!
I'm wearing jeans and a sweatshirt : (
( girlinthehole, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 10:57, Reply)

I look like a giant toddler
Or a farmer
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:01, Reply)

They must have funny looking farmers down your way
Around here they wear boiler suits and wellies. Not pinafores.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:02, Reply)

I mean like a bumpkin

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Damn you and your pinafores
Now I'm singing songs in my head with words like "What never? No, never! What, never? Well, hardly ever"
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:04, Reply)

When I was young and called to the bar ....

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I polished up the handle of the big front door

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:07, Reply)

*deep breaths*
Iamtheverymodelofamodernmajorgeneral...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Awww, I love the fact that all the manliest men on b3ta also love a bit of G&S

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:09, Reply)

All that shit scares me

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:10, Reply)

which shit?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:13, Reply)

The one she did this morning
It scared her too much to flush, so it's just lying there waiting for her to get home.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I recommend she gets a cigar cutter to deal with that bad boy

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:16, Reply)

oh ew
that's gross.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Fucking twee, smug, twaddle...
'Culture' for the sort of cunts who think because it's performed live in a theatre it must somehow be highbrow entertainment - like the coachloads of mongs from Blackpool that plague the West End.

They're also beloved of 'am-dram' types who as we all know are the worst people in the British Isles.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:17, Reply)

I'm about to...
agree...
with...
Monty!
But I wouldn't have expressed it in such a caustic manner.
And it also scares me, whereas it seems to merely annoy you.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Pish
G&S is not highbrow. It's just a bit of fun.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:18, Reply)

I. Know. It's. Not. Highbrow.
That's. My. Fucking. Point.


Sorry, I appear to have turned into Andy. Parsons.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Yes
But I'm saying that I like it, and I don't think it's highbrow.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:23, Reply)

It's 'mono-brow'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:25, Reply)

*furrows brow*

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:25, Reply)

*ploughs*


*sows seeds*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:27, Reply)

you are ploughing and sowing your seed on his forehead....
you have reached new lows of benderism
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Vertigo record label t shirt and black jeans
and yes Noel, it looks fucking enormous.


Your arse has its own postcode.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 10:58, Reply)

I'm not wearing anything
It's a bit warm in my office today.

May not be entirely true
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 10:59, Reply)

brown cord flares
black shirt, dark brown v neck jumper

yes, I work in the 70s
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Aw man
Is your office beige brown and mustard?
Do the seats smell biscuity?
Is there a table made of carpet with a glass top? Like a regional chat-show set?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:02, Reply)

I wish
I also wish we could smoke in the office.

my office is mostly light blue and magnolia and glass
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I have in my possession
a Marshall Ward catalogue from about 1976. My mum found it when she was clearing out a cupboard and gave it to me as she thought I might find it funny.

I did, so I've kept it as a reminder of how hideous the fashions of my childhood years were.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:03, Reply)

it was my mrs's dad's 60th last year
at the bash they had some photos of him in his youth.

some 30 years ago he dressed pretty much as I do now, had a beard and similar sideburns.

I'm glad my mrs hadn't seen those pics before, otherwise I'd be worried as to why she had selected me.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Funnily enough
I've got some old photos of my GF from the 70s, and there's one of her and her gran, who looks exactly like her mum looks now.

And my GF looks like her mum (but younger and prettier, obviously!) And I've seen her future. Twice.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:09, Reply)

fortunately my gf looks nothing like her mum
her mum was adopted, so I have no other reference. it's going to be a surprise
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:10, Reply)

find it funny enjoy a nostalgia wank, seeing as it still falls open at the underwear pages.

the fashions masturbation fantasies
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:08, Reply)

No
You're mistaking it for the 1980s catalogues.

I wasn't into my teens in the 1970s. But the Kays 1984 catalogue was a particular favourite, because it had proper topless ladies on the sunbeds. With their tits out and everything.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Cor!

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Excellent -
pop out and grab me a Texan bar, will ya?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:05, Reply)

no matter how you phrase it
I'm not going to get you a cowboy cock
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Oh go on.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:18, Reply)

*capitulates*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:26, Reply)

I'M WEARING A CARDIGAN

(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:00, Reply)

BREAKING NEWS
I have taken my cardigan off due to warmth.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Faded levis and a nice black shirt.
Does your bum look big in that? No, it's big anyway.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:02, Reply)

I'm still in bed
So screw you all. I do have work in front of me, but it still beats being dressed for being in an office.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Everyone in my office has commented on my attire this morning

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:05, Reply)

No-one in my bedroom has commented on my attire this morning

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:07, Reply)

That's cos you're in your crackers and a funny t-shirt and there's only you there

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:10, Reply)

In effect we're ALL in his bedroom this morning
which means we can all see what he's doing when he flicks to the other windows.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Ctrl+tab

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:12, Reply)

it's alt+tab

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:12, Reply)

ctrl+tab goes to the next tab within your window

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Thank you Albert
I know I'm a mong right, but I just got something computery right, and I wasn't even allowed it!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:15, Reply)

he did say between windows though
which is alt+tab ;-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Shurrup right

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:19, Reply)

well, shut my mouth, so it does
I tend to use mouse gestures for that sort of stuff
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:15, Reply)

You gesture to your mouse?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:15, Reply)

it's like using the force

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:16, Reply)

It's not

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Results:
Roota and Al win the tab-changing debate.
Vipros loses everything, cos I'm on my Mac, so it's Command+Tab to change program.

Have you enjoyed reading my dissertation while perving on me this morning, al?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:17, Reply)

It's still Ctrl-Tab
to switch between browser tabs on the Mac though. And I just learned that from the above discussion.

Thank you b3tards.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:20, Reply)

You can also use Command+Shift+ [ or ]

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:21, Reply)

*tries*
Oh, so you can!

I know all the keyboard shortcuts for my music programs and so on, but never bothered to learn them for browsing the interweb.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:24, Reply)

worka laptop full of porn
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I'm wearing my lady skin suit


in which my arse, which is in someone else's arse looks pert and pretty.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Can I borrow it?

( girlinthehole, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Sure, but it is hand wash only which is a pain

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Jeans that go up to my tits.
My bump looks big in them.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I want jeans that go up to MY tits!
Pregnancy jeans are ever so popular in Riga.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I've got tits that go down to my jeans.

( girlinthehole, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:22, Reply)

*chortle*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Have you ever tried to put your nipple through the buttonhole?

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Only once, when I had them pierced.

( girlinthehole, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Are your norks getting really big yet?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:31, Reply)

No :(

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:38, Reply)

I am wearing
Red Hair Gel
A Black long sleeved t shirt with an IT Services and university logo.
Baggy but smart black trousers
black boxers
black socks
Black converse
3 rings
1 earing
1 lipring

Despite the blackness I'm not a goth and I hate Morrissey.
( Peej, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Simpsons tie?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:19, Reply)

I already told you I don't wear a tie
in fact I don't own a tie. And I don't like the Simpsons, I'm more of a South Park geek.
( Peej, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Simpsons tie?



This will go on until you say 'ta - I'm parched. Milk and two sugars please'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:23, Reply)

I really like this

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:27, Reply)

I'm RISing at this
*sad face*
( Peej, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:34, Reply)

The Noddy Holder Joke:
It's set in 1974: Noddy is shopping in a trendy boutique. He tries on a pair of gold lame loon pants, and is admiring them in the mirror when the assistant asks if he'd like to try on a silver shirt too, which he does, and that looks fantastic too.

The outfit's really taking shape. Then the assistant says "would sir like a kipper tie?"

"Not 'alf, I'm parched. Milk and two sugars, please"
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Ok, fully unRISed now
I knew the joke just wasn't tying it to the simspons tie.

Now get me a fucking cup of earl grey and no fucking sugar.
( Peej, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:54, Reply)

How is hair gel red?

Also I didn't think people used hair gel anymore, not since Peter Andre first sachayed onto our screens.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:25, Reply)

I usually use Fructis Manga hair goo stuff
But this morning I was out and all I could find was neon red hair gel. I think its a clubbing thing but I nicked it and used it. Now I have red hair that glows under UV.
( Peej, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:34, Reply)

I didn't find that Manga Hair stuff any good
as queer a topic of conversation as this may turn out to be: I tend to ues V05 Matt Clay, which works well, but my hair always kind of flops after a couple of hours, regardless of what I put in it. Ever had that?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Hey!
Are you guys 'metrosexual'?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:42, Reply)

no
my hair isn't asymmetrical enough
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:44, Reply)

No, I'm a raging shirter

( Peej, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:49, Reply)

I use the Manga because its rock hard and doesn't deteriorate through the day

( Peej, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:50, Reply)

your ass is so big
smaller asses orbit around it.

I'm wearing a black shirt and some grey trousers which say Sticky Fingers on the label, which I find a bit distasteful.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:24, Reply)

When you jump in the ocean
The whales sing We Are Family
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:26, Reply)

When you step on the bathroom scales
it says "to be continued"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Hahah, that's a new one!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:37, Reply)

are they rolling stones trousers?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Yes.
They're only 12x5, so they barely fit.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Your arse is so big you burn it on the light bulb during intimacy.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:34, Reply)

your ass is so big
people exercise by jogging around it
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Leather trousers, 'Fetish' T-shirt...
...extra bangles and black mascara.

(Meeting with the NHS today.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:51, Reply)