Right the popular page is looking shit
So we'll have a joke thread, post short jokes in this thread and if any make you smile then you have to click them.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 11:34, 50 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What's Irish and comes out in the spring?
Paddy O'Furniture
(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 11:35, Reply)

But how do you get to them?
Through the Paddy O'Daws.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 7 Apr 2010, 13:14, Reply)

whats the difference between
a blowjob and anal sex?

One makes your day, the other makes your whole week
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 11:36, Reply)

I never know how to type those sort of jokes.
Should you type it as "whole week" or "hole weak"
(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 11:38, Reply)

I think it's best to type it as the clean meaning
and leave the innuendo meaning for the reader to get. Not many wordplay jokes work written down though.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Whats got 4 heads
and doesnt bleed?

The cast of "loose Women".
(kitescreech still here, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 11:38, Reply)

That's good.
What do you call four dogs and a black bird?

The spice girls.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 11:39, Reply)

What do you call
a dog with 5 cunts?

Lulu with Take That.
(kitescreech still here, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 11:39, Reply)

What has six legs and a cunt halfway up it's back?

A police horse.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Wed 7 Apr 2010, 13:47, Reply)

What do vegetarian maggots eat?
Linda McCartney.

Of course the joke doesn't work if you know Linda McCarntey was cremated...well, I say cremated, she was left in the oven too long.
( Holly Would long wheel based tranny, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 11:44, Reply)

What kind of cheese can you hide a horse in?
Mascarpone
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 11:45, Reply)

How do you eat dangerous cheese?
Caerfilly.

wormulus joke
(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 11:50, Reply)

what sort of cheese isn't yours?
nacho cheese
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Which cheese is made backwards?
Edam
(TheColonel, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 11:57, Reply)

it took me years to get that when I was a kid
that and the 'when is a door not a door? when it's ajar'
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 14:04, Reply)

Haha

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 11:52, Reply)

what's ET short for?
because he's got little legs
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 11:54, Reply)

But what does ET stand for?

Because he has a sore arse.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Wed 7 Apr 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Still only six posts on popular page...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 7 Apr 2010, 12:04, Reply)

What do you call a fat girl with a yeast infection?
A whopper with cheese.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 12:04, Reply)

I like this

the joke that is, not fat birds
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Two monkeys in a bath

One screeches, 'OOOOH OOOH OOHH AH AH AHA AH!'

To which the other replies, 'If it's too hot Colin put some cold water in.'
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Why do 'ickle kittens walk softly?

-because 'ickle kittens can't walk hardly.

That's me done.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 7 Apr 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Hang on - here's another -
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

'Dam'

Suit yerselves.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 7 Apr 2010, 12:30, Reply)

What did the goldfish in a tank say?
How the fuck do you drive this thing?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 14:05, Reply)

What do you call a gay dinosaur?
Mega-saur-ass.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 12:11, Reply)

^Because he gets bummed by other dinosaurs, see.
Because he's gay and that.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 12:11, Reply)

I still don't get it.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 12:12, Reply)

That's what I heard.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 12:17, Reply)

:(

(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Mega Sore Arse.
Spelling it out doesn't make it better.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 7 Apr 2010, 13:13, Reply)

You shut your whore mouth.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 13:27, Reply)

Pfft
That's not what you said last night etc.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 7 Apr 2010, 14:08, Reply)

This thread is awesome, I think you need some sort of award for making an awesome thread.
Maybe 15 minutes on BGB with a chocolate catapilla cake.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 12:48, Reply)

BGB is MINE.
I have staked my claim.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 12:56, Reply)

There is enough of me to go around.

( girlinthehole, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 13:00, Reply)

A man walks into a bar
"OUCH!" he exclaims...



..."£5 for a pint of beer, are you shitting me?"
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 12:56, Reply)

A horse walks into the bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?"

"I've got horse AIDS", the horse replies...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 12:59, Reply)

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar
the barman asks "why the long face?"

sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeahorse.com/
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 13:16, Reply)

Hahaha
Man that's tickled my funny bone.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 13:30, Reply)

The Beach Boys walk into a bar
"Round?"
"Round?"
"Get a round"
"I get a round?"
And so on.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 13:00, Reply)

Erectile Dysfunction? Not my problem.
Touch wood.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 7 Apr 2010, 13:08, Reply)

I had a third of a Mars bar the other day.
All I wanted to do was rest.
( Holly Would long wheel based tranny, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 13:20, Reply)

3 men walked into a bar
and the whole thing unfolded with a tedious inevitability...

steals from Bill Bailey
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 13:22, Reply)

I went to Amsterdam for my stag do
and my two best men chipped in together and got me a sweater.

I would have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but I shouldn't complain.
( Holly Would long wheel based tranny, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 13:24, Reply)

Haha West Bank

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 13:34, Reply)

keep up!
;)
( Holly Would long wheel based tranny, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 14:03, Reply)

An Englishman, an Irishman & a Scotsman walk into a bar
and the barman says
"What is this, some kind of a fucking joke?"
(bill, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 13:38, Reply)

Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It turned into a field
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 14:08, Reply)

A French man, an Italian and a Geordie are bragging about their skills in the sack.
French man says, "Sacre bleu, when I take my beautiful wife dans la chambre, I kees her in all her special places teel she can take no more - then when I geev her orgasm she eez 10 centimetres from ze bed."

Italian says, "!Que cosa, that eez nathing! My woman - she can't get enough of me. You see. I take-a-ma time, caress her in the secret parts..... When she reach orgasm, she leap 30 centimetres from the bed."

Geordie goes, "Heh heh, that's nowt man! Ah gi' wor lass a reyt good skuddin', she murns ah bit like ye knaa. Then Ah howk aal awer 'er chebs, wipe me cock on the cortains 'n' she hits the fookin roof!"
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 14:54, Reply)