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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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FUCKING COW CUNTS.Fucking methane emitting farty cunts, so they are.
Use this thread to insult our bovine enemies. Or any other animal, for that matter.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:02,
128 replies,
latest was 16 years ago)
Giraffes are insincereAnd elephants are friendly, but they're dumb.
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K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:07,
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Giraffes are best of all the animals.TRUFACT.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:27,
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I like it when cows die and get made into tasty food stuffs like pasties(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:04, Reply)
Otters.Bunch of lazy cuntrags, the lot of 'em. Except for that one that savaged Nutkins, he's alright.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:05, Reply)
otters are awesomethey're like underwater weasels, what's not to love?!
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:15,
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Otters are greatI love how they go otting around saying "Ooh hello! We're otters! We ot dontcha know. Ooh look! There are some more people we've not greeeted *chirp* Ooh hello! We're otters! We ot dontcha know. Pleased to meet... Ooh loook!" etc etc
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:18,
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That's a good point actuallyPresumably otters can ot...can llamas llam?
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:27, Reply)
reminds me of Bill Bailey'sI've got ham but I'm not a hamster
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:50,
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Otters are shit for the following reasons:They always look like they're in a good mood.
They appear to be having fun all the time.
They are quite similar to beavers but haven't bothered having a suggestive name.
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otters are secretly pretty hate filledand I watched feeding time at the Blue Planet a while ago, otters are less cute when you see one the size of a dog going to town on some whole dead fish, crunching them up and whatnot.
But this always wins any otter argument (which are obviously frequent occurrances):
www.youtube.com/watch?v=epUk3T2Kfno&feature=fvst
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:34,
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I knew that was going to be those two*loves*
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:52,
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Otters bit off Terry Nutkins' fingers(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 16:55,
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Animals Of Farthing Wood, you bastards!I'm sure your program was very happy when I was younger, but recently I looked it up on youtube, and am now gutted.
Argh!
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:09,
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I recently discovered that red meat is indirectly associated with Macular Deterioration, from which I suffer at an unusually early ageSo now cows serve no purpose whatsoever. Useless mooing shit machines
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:09, Reply)
Awwwww, that sucks,If your mrs suffered from it then she could imagine you were getting less and less ugly as her vision went. Sadly she doesn't. So she'll be reminded of your face every single day.
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Have you put any new records on your Wedding list, Al?Cos this one badly needs changing... bad-oom-tish
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:20, Reply)
No it really doesn'tI'm afraid you have been designated as an ugly person going out with a hottie. It doesn't mean we can't be friends you know, I'm responsible for everyone being aware of TGB gigantic genitals, but she still likes me.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:24, Reply)
Irrespective of my diagnosisIf we're to get along it might help if you talked about anything else other than how irredeemably hideous I am. TGB's gigantic genitals, of which I was previously unaware, might be a good start
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:28, Reply)
TGBs massive vaginawhen viewed in all it's hideous quivering glory, is like a fucking van gogh sunflower painting when compared to your mush.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:32, Reply)
I never liked Sunflowers. The painting or the actual flowerSo I choose to take that as a compliment.
Thank you
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I've just planted black sunflower seedsbecause I is a big goff
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:51,
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I skim read that and determined that in fact you saidI am TGB's gigantic genitals, of which I was previously unaware.
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fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 15:23,
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Are there any threads that mostly consist of answers to the question?Or are they all essentially look at us having ace cutting banter with our smashing internet mates?
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*obligatory joke about the perceived versus actual size of my penis*(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:17, Reply)
Yeah, 'cause you have underpants made of glass,the curvature of which acts as a magnifying glass making it appear of a normal size, only upon removal of said underpants the razor sharp edges sever your femoral artery leading to a rapid and undignified death, after which the paramedics laugh at your small penis.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:23, Reply)
I was about to come back with an indignant rebuttalbut the very last clause in your post make me snigger in a childish fashion, so my point, if I had one in the first place, is now a little on the blunt side. Hey ho.
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Oinking bastard pigssometimes I wish a lorry load of them would just fuck off and crash on the M4
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:09,
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Careful what you wish for, now...(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:10,
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Bacon everywherethe most delicious RTA evah
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:14,
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Leather jackets in waiting, the lorra them.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:10,
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I know this isn't links, blah blah blahbut this is really funny
www.cracked.com/funny-163-australia/
Although the boyfriend and I are arguing over which country to emigrate to, Australia or Canada, and this didn't help my side.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:13,
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And they've got those evil fucking Cane toads(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:15,
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Here.animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/amphibians/cane-toad/
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ahh I see.Unpleasant toad is unpleasant.
However, this toad is awesome:
animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/amphibians/amazon-horned-frog/
HYPNOTOAD!!
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:22,
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Hahah do you remember the Trash Heap from Fraggle Rock??(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:24,
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Bufo marinusA mean nasty poisonous cunt with a horrid expression and no consideration for anyone or anything.
The fucking gangsters of the natural world. Except they're not 'natural' because they're not indiginous to Australia. They were introduced to the place by settlers or whatever they were.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:21,
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No not themThe ones in charge.
The convicts were probably all related to me.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:24,
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They were introduced by the governmentto try and control the cane beetle. It was one of the biggest incidents of environmental mismanagement ever done.
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And now they poison everythingAnd they stand on each other's shoulders to get at bees and they're being stung while they chew said bees, but they just laugh it off. Nay, they smirk and sneer.
I hate them Al.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:29,
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It's not fair to making sweeping generalisations about all Scousers being crimsIt gives the rest of us nowt to say about the place, unless you're a) a football fan and b) a red
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Being criminals or being Liverpool fans?Not sure which is worse at the minute
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:36, Reply)
Well done on the first bitDoes this mean you're an Evertonian or someone who has no time for football?
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The two go hand in hand ;)I'm a blue but I'm not a big red-hater either.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:45,
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FUCKING AUSTRALIA WANTS TO KILL US ALL, THE XXXX DRINKING, SKIN CANCER GIVING CUNT.(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:28,
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That's my favourite line in the articleYou've just entered Mother Nature's Thunderdome
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:53,
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I used to love meerkats.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:16,
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are you saying you don't love them now that they all have Russian accents?(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:19,
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They used to be all cute and worried.Now they've been anthropomorphised it's not the same.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:20,
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I love Alexandr Orlovhe almost makes up for the Go Compare advert.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:23,
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I'm afraid that because of thisit is over between us
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:38,
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Fucking sell-outs.Meerkat Manor to Meerkat Library in two months. Cunts.
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Nah, he's a cunt.All the other meerkats hate him and that's why he kicks about with a farty warthog.
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I didn't see any other meerkatshe probably killed them all. But he's got a lion on his side, the king lion, so don't fuck with him.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:54,
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You just reminded me of this:Sophisticated meerkat.
He was just sat there watching everyone watch him, and then he crossed his legs! made my day.
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Fucking pidgeons.They're too stupid to live and why do loads of them only have one leg? They're taking the piss out of our brave boys in Iraq, that's why.
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girlinthehole, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:22,
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You'll be pleased to hear I saw one pecked to death and eaten by seagulls this morning.(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:24, Reply)
I hate large aquatic birds.Swanning about like they own the place.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:22, Reply)
Badum-TISH(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:40,
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Fucking cows.Breaking into my garden and leaving your fucking shits all over the place. Hurry up and die so I can have a new leather jacket.
And cats as well. You're gonna get kidnapped and shaved one day. Shittest of all the felines, thats you.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:23, Reply)
I think she's using "cat" as a shorthand for domestic catsas opposed to things like Lions and Cheetahs.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:29, Reply)
your PANDAringstopped being funny years ago too and yet you continue
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djtrialprice, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:33,
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Not particularlyBut I'm back in Manchester now, so everything is good again. You?
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Yeah it was ok,poetry night was interesting and my mate won poet of the night. Which was good for him.
Are you all tatooed up now?
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:55, Reply)
I just stalked you, it's quite nice, it's healed quickly.Did it hurt.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 15:23, Reply)
ThanksThat was straight after I'd had it done, so it's not healed yet. It's yet to peel though.
Like a bitch! Much more than the last one. But it only took about half an hour.
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My mother has taken to looking out of the window in the small hours so she can chase cats off her lawn.I said she's lucky they don't charge her for the fertilizer they leave in her flower beds.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:25,
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She has actually enquired about thisShe is obsessed
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:34,
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it's not fertilisingit's horrible stuff, chock full of toxoplasmosis.
I hate cats. the fucking cunts.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:39,
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There's one that I keep encouragingI sit in my mum's gazebo and call him pudd'n and give him ham.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:49,
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We have to stop one of my flatmates from stealing and shaving catsWhen she gets drunk. I'm all up for it but some freaks actually like them.
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Not yet, but she's determined to do it by the end of the year.I personally, am going to help. If she does, there will be pictures.
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You have a garden in Manchesterwhich cows broke into? That's astounding!
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:28, Reply)
I have a garden in Cheshire.I haven't always lived in Manchester.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:32, Reply)
I'm still impressed that you have a garden that cows can break intoeven if it's in Cheshire. Sheep broke into my mum and dads back garden. I have seen two cats in my back garden. And a squirrel. Once I thought I saw a rat.
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I live out in the middle of nowhere,So our garden backs onto fields. Cows in the garden are a regular occurence.
We get foxes and badgers and everything.
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oldskoolFrom 3 years ago: b3ta.com/questions/petstories/post81914
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djtrialprice, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:27,
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I love itnearly as much as I love you ya big softie. Congrats btw
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djtrialprice, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:31,
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Failed to correctly use the postal serviceYour mum must be so proud
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djtrialprice, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:44,
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GRRRRR Don't make me come up to Cambridge and whip your assWe know how to use the postal service, it's those cunts who work for it who don't know who to do their own fucking jobs. Wankers. Next time I see a postman I'm going to kick him in the crotch.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:48, Reply)
you'd probably get thrown off the trainfor not having enough for the fare
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djtrialprice, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 15:01,
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I want to see JasperI'm not gazzing you because that is a dangerous activity.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:37,
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ShitHe's dead now isn't he?
He's byootiful :(
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:46,
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Was beautiful, then was tasty, now is poo(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:48,
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Haha cheersHis beautiful eyes.
I'm sorry for calling cows cunts earlier.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 14:50,
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