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(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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Favourite song lyrics, but replace one crucial lyric with the word cock
Go
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:03, 236 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

hi my name is
my name is, my name is, cock shady
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:04, Reply)

You're the cock that I want, ooh ooh ooh honey.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:04, Reply)

All you need is cock

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:05, Reply)

It's been a hard cock night.

(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 16:19, Reply)

Strawberry Cock for ever.

(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 16:20, Reply)

Sgt Pepper's Lonely Cock Club Band

(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 16:21, Reply)

A Hard Cock's Night

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:28, Reply)

8 Cocks a Week

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:28, Reply)

She cocks you (yeah yeah yeah)

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:29, Reply)

She's got a cock to ride (and she don't care)

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:31, Reply)

that song actually goes
she's got a chicken to ride
she's got a chicken to ride
she's got a chicken to ride and she don't care
my baby donkey
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:35, Reply)

I love that version
I sing it in the pub when someone puts it on the jukebox
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:35, Reply)

While my cock gently weeps.

(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 16:36, Reply)

Winnerrrrr

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:38, Reply)

Thank you - you can have
Eight cocks a week.
(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Lucy in the Sky With A Pearl Necklace

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:32, Reply)

With a little help from my cock
or just for Darth -
With a little cock from my friends.
(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 16:38, Reply)

The long and winding cock

(Cave Duck, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:47, Reply)

You're My First,
My Last
My cock.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:05, Reply)

God gave rock and cock to you

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:05, Reply)

I'm on the highway to cock

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:06, Reply)

Here I cock again on my own

(Halfy By light alone, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:06, Reply)

If I could save cock in a bottle

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 20 May 2010, 16:06, Reply)

Every cock you take, I'll be watching you.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:07, Reply)

We will
We will
COCK YOU
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:08, Reply)

I'm an
Englishcock in New York.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:09, Reply)

I like to cock it cock it
I like to cock it cock it, I like to cock it cock it, I like to cock it
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:09, Reply)

Elton: Don't go breaking my cock
Kiki: I couldn't if I tried
(

djtrialprice, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:12, Reply)

*psychochomps*
It's funny you see, 'cos she's a lesbian and doesn't know what to do with one
(

djtrialprice, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:12, Reply)

POTT
Post of the thread. There have been better today. But not many.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:14, Reply)

Ohh-woah-woah
Sweet cock of mine!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:13, Reply)

I can't be bothered to type it out
But try replacing every use of the word "It" in Faith No More's "Epic" with "cock"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:13, Reply)

sealed
with a cock
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:13, Reply)

God cock our gracious queen.

(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 16:14, Reply)

Bibbitty Bobbitty Cock.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 20 May 2010, 16:15, Reply)

one cock makes you larger,
and one cock makes you small,
and the ones that mother gives you,
don't do anything at all...
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:15, Reply)

I only just saw this.
bedroomlolz
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:26, Reply)

i'm not ready to make cock
i'm in the mood for cock

oh what a cock, late december back in '63, what a very special cock for me

i'll be there for cock

my my my cock, why why why cock
i felt the cock in my hand and she laughed no more

red red cock

i can't help falling in love with cock

in fact, elvis works very well at this game...

everybody do the jailhouse cock
we can't go on together with suspicious cocks
a little less conversation, a little more cock please
you were always on my cock
don't step on my blue suede cock
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:15, Reply)

Corazón, corazón oscuro
Corazón, corazón con cocks

No, it doesn't work the same, sorry.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 20 May 2010, 16:16, Reply)

and if you say polla?

(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:29, Reply)

I'm a cock in a bottle
You gotta rub me the right way.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:16, Reply)

For all we know we may never meet again
Before you go make this moment sweet again
We won't say "Good night" until the last minute
I'll hold out my hand and my cock will be in it
(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 16:17, Reply)

pfft

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:18, Reply)

A cock in a manger
(not quite right. Hmph)
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:18, Reply)

The cock is a good place to think of the future
OR The sea is a good place to think of the cock
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:19, Reply)

While shepherds watched their cocks by night.
(I'd never envisaged that as a sausage fest before!)
(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 16:24, Reply)

We Three Cocks of Orient Are
Oh little cock of Bethlehem
Cock! The Herald Angels Sing
(glory to the new born minge)
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:25, Reply)

It is a thing most wonderful,
almost too wonderful to be,
that God's own Son should come from heaven,
and die to cock a child like me.
(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 16:28, Reply)

What should I give him?
Poor as I am.
If I were a shepherd, I would give a lamb
something something something
What should I give him? Give him my cock.
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:29, Reply)

We plough the fields and scatter
The good seed on the land,
But it is fed and watered
By God's almighty cock
(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 16:30, Reply)

The best one. By far

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:33, Reply)

so let's talk about you for a minute
with the cock at your gullet
(and now for someone completely different, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Everything I do, I do it for cock.

(Cave Duck, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:20, Reply)

Just when every day seemed to great me with a cock
I fell on black cocks.

Cocks are for shaking, not tying.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:22, Reply)

ace
soundcock
(

djtrialprice, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:28, Reply)

hahaha, just thought of another from that song
I [Applebite] sure don't mind a cock
(

djtrialprice, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:38, Reply)

Cock in my hand
And you're standing there with your Jesus Christ Cock
Arms held out like its the cumming of the lord.

She likes Cocks
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:40, Reply)

Soon I discovered
that this cock thing was true, jerry lee lewis was the devil & jesus was an architect previous to his career as a prophet
all of a sudden, I found myself in love with the world
so there was only one thing that I could do
was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:23, Reply)

nice
I don't care for them much, but that part of that song is fucking great
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:26, Reply)

its one of the all time great intros
I would claim that if you judged music entirely on the first 10 seconds Napalm Death would be the greatest band ever, they have some mighty mighty intro riffs!!

yea-ah aha aha, aha aha, ye-ah aha aha, we're cockproof
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:29, Reply)

Wuthering, Wuthering, Wuthering cock.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:24, Reply)

~~Wuthering~~ Withering
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:29, Reply)

This thread is making me laugh a little too much

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:30, Reply)

just take away the words I said
cause I know that you don't feel the same
just go and say what's in your head
and I won't try to cock you
(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:25, Reply)

whitesnake (haha) - here i go again on my cock
how about tv themes?

why do only cocks and horses work? lalalalala
coooooocks should be there for one another... that's when good cocks become good friends
cocks on fire, rolling down the road, just notify my next of kin, this cock shall explode
one cock in the grave
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:25, Reply)

ahem
You don't need money, don't take fame
Don't need no credit card to ride this train
It's strong and it's sudden and it's cruel sometimes
but it might just save your life
That's the power of cock
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:25, Reply)

I'm replying to my own one because I don't think the Power of Cock has had the recognition it deserves

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Tougher than diamonds, rich like cream
Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream
Makea bad one good make a wrong one right
Power of cock that keeps you home at night
(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 16:42, Reply)

I think my one below should be on the popular page.
just saying like
(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:42, Reply)

clickerwhore

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:43, Reply)

CLICK IT BITCH

(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:46, Reply)

You're not very nice to me.
I don't see why I should.
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:47, Reply)

because I told you to in CAPS
you can't say no to caps.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:49, Reply)

NO
:D
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:50, Reply)

surely you can't beat
it's strong and it's sudden and it's cruel sometimes
but it might just save your life

just think about it. I'm still laughing
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:44, Reply)

I wear my cock on my sleeve

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:26, Reply)

Is it in his eyes?
Oh no that's not the way,
you're not listening to all I say,
If you wanna know, if he loves you so
it's in his cock
that's where it is.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:27, Reply)

Winna?

(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 16:31, Reply)

It's got the song in my head now
so it's actually a loss.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:33, Reply)

what are you running from?
cock?
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:28, Reply)

I've got the cock and I'm giving it to you
I've got the cock and I'm giving it to you
I've got the cock and I'm giving it to you
who's got the cock? I do! I do!
(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:29, Reply)

Iron Maiden!
Run to the cock
2 minutes to cock
Powercock
Cock of the ancient mariner
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:30, Reply)

Fear of the cock
Fear of the cock
I have a constant fear that something's always near
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:33, Reply)

excellent

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:34, Reply)

Pretty much the whole song works,
especially if you consider the cock in question to be Monty's.

Also, Powercock? Surely Cockslave.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:37, Reply)

in the context of the lyrics you are right
tell me why I had to be a cockslave...
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:39, Reply)

The first cock is the deepest.

Take that cock off your face
(Cave Duck, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:31, Reply)

i am on the phone to counsel re: next week's hearing
he already thinks i am barking mad because i can't stop coughing.

this made me laugh so much that it has only enhanced his opinion. there is nothing funny about lease renewal proceedings!
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:38, Reply)

~~lease~~ cock
(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 16:43, Reply)

those would be so much more fun
the cock & tenant act 1954
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Security of Cock for Residential Tenants.

(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 17:02, Reply)

oh holy cock
the stars are brightly shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiining
(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Elvis sang it best when he sang:
Oh, I just can't help believin'
When she slips her hand on my cock
And it feels so small and helpless
As her fingers fold around it like a glove
(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Oh mamma, I'm in fear of my life from the long cock of the law

I will swallow
If it will make my cock go down,
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:32, Reply)

I fought the cock
and the cock won :-(
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:33, Reply)

"Breaking cocks in the hot sun"

(Cave Duck, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:08, Reply)

The man with the cock in his eyes

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:33, Reply)

There is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising cock...
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:34, Reply)

NIN!
Some cock I can never have
The day the cock went away
Happiness in cock
Cock me I am in hell
I do not want cock
Every cock is exactly the same
The cock that feeds
The cock begins to blur
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:34, Reply)

Metallica!
The cock that never comes
Master of Cocks
Don't Cock on Me
Enter Cockman
Disposable Cocks
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:34, Reply)

back to the meaning of cock
and man
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:36, Reply)

Ride the cock

(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:36, Reply)

Flash before my eyes
Now it's time to die
Burning in my brain
I can feel the cock
(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:39, Reply)

Is she really going out with him?
Well, there she is. Let's ask her.
Betty, is that Jimmy's cock you're wearing?
(Cave Duck, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:35, Reply)

the next line has a whole new meaning

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:36, Reply)

Had to listen to check what that was
hahahahahahahaha.

I love that song
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:39, Reply)

that's why the lady is a cock

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:35, Reply)

Metallica
Master of Cock
Harvester of Cock
The Cock Horsemen
For Whom The Cock Tolls
Ride the Cock
The Cock That Should Not Be
Enter Cock
The Cock That Failed

As everyone knows Metallica broke up in 1991 and never recorded any more music at all
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:35, Reply)

you're an idiot
there are some good tunes on load and reload

garage inc. is excellent. a couple of the versions of stuff on S&M are better than the original (leper messiah I think) and death magnetic is fucking awesome.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:37, Reply)

^ this

(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:37, Reply)

I'll have to dig out S&M when I get home and have a listen to Minus human and No leaf clover
not heard them in years
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:38, Reply)

minus human never really stuck with me
but i love no leaf clover
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:39, Reply)

same here
I wrote minus human while stalling while I remembered what no leaf clover was called
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:40, Reply)

ashamedly
i only own one metallica album, as my brother bought them all while we were still living at home and i never got round to buying my own copies...
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:42, Reply)

I've been a massive fan for years
only one I don't have an original of is st anger because it is fucking awful.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:43, Reply)

I own that one. :(
I didn't buy it though, it was given to me by an ex. He didn't want it any more cos he thought it was so shit.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:46, Reply)

funnily enough
when i saw them live last year, they only played one song off said album...
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:48, Reply)

it really is
I downloaded it and then deleted it because was so shit

I saw them twice last year and they didn't play any

I took that to be a great victory
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:49, Reply)

I Disappear is my favourite Metallica song ever
only good one they ever did
(

djtrialprice, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:39, Reply)

GET OUT

(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:39, Reply)

SECONDED
*grabs pitchfork*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:45, Reply)

*sigh*
The only tools bigger than Metallica... their fans :P
(

djtrialprice, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:50, Reply)

you take that back young man
i don't mind that song
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Yay
I got called young.
(

djtrialprice, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:00, Reply)

it's an expression..
;)
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:06, Reply)

GTFO
Actually don't, your love of Soundgarden just outweighs this. JUST.

Tread carefully.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:53, Reply)

right, I've been meaning to post a video on facebook for ages
that I think discerning music fans will ~~enjoy~~ endure. Definitely going to do it tonight.
(

djtrialprice, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:00, Reply)

controversial.
it's ok
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:39, Reply)

Dang, forgot S&M
But the best bits are reworkings of their older stuff, like the awesome orchestral intro to Master. Garage Inc doesn't count cos they didn't write it. Yes there are good songs on Load and one (ONE) on Reload but they can't overcome the crushing sense of disappointment. Haven't listened to Death Magnetic because St Anger was so bad that I disowned them. I'm sure they're gutted
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:50, Reply)

I personally think Death Magnetic was also disappointing
But everyone else here seems to disagree.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:52, Reply)

that's because you are wrong
I basically disowned them after St Anger as well, but pre-ordered Death Magnetic to give them the benefit of the doubt.

It is great. heavy as fuck, and some excellent arrangements. almost prog metal in places.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:55, Reply)

No no
I agree with you

Im also of the mind that their output has been ok to poor since "And justice for all"
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:01, Reply)

ERROR

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:01, Reply)

shut
your facking raaah!
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:23, Reply)

you should give death magnetic a go
it's no master of puppets, or even black album, but it's pretty good.

even if it's becoming increasingly obvious that lars can't hack it any more.
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:53, Reply)

I concur
lars was struggling when I saw them

makes me laugh because he's a shitcunt
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:56, Reply)

I don't cock (woah no)
I love it, ah, yeah
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:36, Reply)

black cock and that little boy smile
black cock with that slow southern style
a new religion that'll bring you to your knees
black cock, if you please
(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:38, Reply)

that is fucking great
nice work
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:39, Reply)

Love it.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:42, Reply)

Cock the monkey

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:40, Reply)

ozzy and coal chamber did a good version of that
I recommend checking it out
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:40, Reply)

I'm quite surprised no-one's mentioned
I like big cocks and I cannot lie...
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:41, Reply)

I thought it
then got distracted.

possibly by your fear of the cock
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:41, Reply)

It's all over the front page
you give me cock rage
racing to the best stage...
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:41, Reply)

this cock ain't big enough for the both of us!

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:42, Reply)

nursery rhymes
twinkle twinkle little cock
humpty dumpty sat on a cock
little miss muffet sat on a tuffet eating her curds and cock
mary mary quite contrary how does your cock grow (with silver bellends, presumably)
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:44, Reply)

The magical innocence of childhood, destroyed right there.

This little cock went wee wee wee, all the way home.
(Cave Duck, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:55, Reply)

superb

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:08, Reply)

For a long time, I was in love
Not only in love, I was obsessed
With a cock that no one else could touch
It didn't work out, I'm covered in sores.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:45, Reply)

taaaaaake the long cock
and walk it, yeah
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Thundercocks are go!
(yes, I'm listening to Busted. Go fuck yourself)
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:46, Reply)

pretty cock, walking down the street
pretty cock, the kind I'd like to meet
(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:47, Reply)

And I would walk 500 miles
and I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walk a thousand miles
to turn up at your cock
(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:47, Reply)

18 and Cock
COck on the Bayou
Cock Business
Cock it til' it bleeds
Cock Gone Wild
I was made for cockin' you
Down with the Cockness
All Along the Cocktower
Fucking Cocktile
Cock Bird
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:48, Reply)

So posting lyrics isn't gay if it's all about cocks?

(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 16:48, Reply)

^ this

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:03, Reply)

she seems to have an invisible cock yeah
it takes control and slowly tears you apart
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:48, Reply)

Don't stop, never give up,
Hold your head high and reach the cock
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:48, Reply)

I would do anything for cock, but I wont do that.

(Cave Duck, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:50, Reply)

You look in his eyes, don't be surprised
If you don't know what's going on behind his disguise
Nobody knows where Buster goes
He'll steal your woman out from under your nose

Does anyone know the way, did we hear someone say
We just haven't got a clue what to do
Does anyone know the way, there's got to be a way
To Cock Buster!
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Excellent effort, but may I suggest
~~woman~~ cock
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:56, Reply)

No real point in changing "You can't push Willy where Willy won't go" is there?

(Cave Duck, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:57, Reply)

I'll tell you what I want what I really really want
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
I wanna, I wanna,
I really really really want a
cock
(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:51, Reply)

That's EXACTLY what I was going to do next

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:52, Reply)

I don't think it really counts
because that's exactly what they meant while singing.
slags.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:52, Reply)

Have you LISTENED to 2 Become 1?!

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Not willingly

(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Cock me in the morning
then just walk away
we don't have tomorrow
but we had yesterday
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:51, Reply)

now you're cocking.
oops.
(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 16:56, Reply)

You're here, there's nothing I fear
And I know that my cock will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my cock and
My cock will go on and on
(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Every time I put The Doors on
my flatmate walks into the room and sings over the top:
"This is my end,
Beautiful friend,
This is my end,
My only friend, bell-end..."
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Now here you go again,
You say you want your cock
Now who am I to keep you down?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Beautiful

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:55, Reply)

So I'm back, to the velvet underground
Back to the cock that I love.
To a room with some chains and paper dildos
Back to the hooker that I was.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:58, Reply)

well let's face it,
that's what she meant...
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:59, Reply)

Haha, probably.
I'm in danger of ruining one of my favourite songs here so I'll stop.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:04, Reply)

Snap

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:07, Reply)

Cocks, they will come and they will go
When the cock washes you clean you'll know
(

djtrialprice, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Don't stop
Thinking about cock
Don't stop
Cock will soon be here.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:08, Reply)

you make cocking fun

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:08, Reply)

Speak a little louder, or even shout.
You know that I'm proud and I can't get the cock out.
Ooo ahhhh, I wanna cock with you everywhere.

Coma along baby, we better make a start
We better make it soon before you break my cock.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:11, Reply)

back off golddust cock
take your silver cock and dig your grave

tell me cocks, tell me sweet little cocks

i got a black magic cock

let me tell you about my life, they say i'm a cock of the world
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:09, Reply)

Takes to the sky like a cock in flight

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:10, Reply)

Rhiannon rings like a cock through the night
And wouldn't you love to cock her.

All you're life you've never seen a woman taken by the cock
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:13, Reply)

oh i, i wanna cock with you everywhere
one thing i think you should know
i ain't gonna cock you when you go...
won't you lay me down in the tall cocks and let me do my stuff, yeah
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:20, Reply)

one two three o'cock for o' cock rock
five six seven o'cock eight o'cock rock
nine ten eleven o'cock twelve o'cock rock
we're gonna rock around the cock tonight
(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:55, Reply)

There's a porn site with the tag line
"rock out with your cock out"
which made me laugh, not that I've ever seen it of course.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:57, Reply)

oh yer
it's on American Pie too, "It's on like donkey kong, I'm gonna rock out with my cock out"
(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:59, Reply)

see also:
"hang out with my wang out"
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:02, Reply)

and hang out with my wang out!
edit - damn you vipros and all your kind
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:03, Reply)

bwahahahhaha

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 18:21, Reply)

And now it's SOLID...
Solid as a cock
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Cock cock
Cock cock cock cock
Cock cock cock cock
Cock cock THERE'S NO LIMIT!
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 16:59, Reply)

Cock! Hammer Time

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:00, Reply)

I was trying to think of one concerning that when we were doing Sir Mix-a-Lot.
The two are connected in my mind, for some reason.
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Cock and Sir Mix-a-Lot?
Someone's got a crush...
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:04, Reply)

I cannot lie

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:08, Reply)

cock will tear us apart
again
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:04, Reply)

Finished with my woman
'Cos she wouldn't help me with my cock

I want to hold your cock.

And when I get that feeling, I want sexual healing,
Sexual healing is something that's good for cock
(I Was a Teenage Spaceship, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:04, Reply)

Something inside so cock

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:05, Reply)

80s soft cock, i mean rock
how do i get you acock

these cocks go on when i close my eyes

is this burning an eternal cock
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:11, Reply)

here I go again on my cock

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:12, Reply)

i really wish we hadn't been beaten to sweet cock o'mine
cock me up before you gogo

baby i'm your cock (if you gotta do it, do it right now, do it with cock)

don't leave cock this way

never can say goodcock
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:17, Reply)

We cock a lot
woodcock from mars?

never rub another mans cock, heh heh heeheheheee (one for Davros to get only methinks)
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:17, Reply)

Your cock is lifting me higher, than I've ever been lifted before.

(Cave Duck, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:11, Reply)

I cocked the sheriff
But I did not cock the deputy

This was a triumph,
I'm making a note here, huge cock.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Anyway, this cock is great, it's so delicious and moist.
(

Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Thu 20 May 2010, 17:12, Reply)

solid boned skeleton cock
opens the most intricate locks
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:21, Reply)

This is all desperately poor.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:22, Reply)

~~poor~~ cock
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:24, Reply)

Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his cock, killing me softly with his cock
(Cave Duck, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:22, Reply)

I would do anything for love
but I wont do cock
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:26, Reply)

why aren't we married again?
remind me!
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:27, Reply)

Well, you live in London
and i'm a boring accountant
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:29, Reply)

how can anyone with their own chicken
be dull?!?
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:31, Reply)

I seem to have collected a menagerie of animals because of my chicken
At any one time in the chicken run, I can have a squirrel, a pheasant, 2 homing pigeons and the other day a deer walked into my garden and peered at Charlie.
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:38, Reply)

you are just making the reality of us not being married
even harder to bear. as you say, i live in london. the only evidence of wildlife are the pigeons that seek out my car to host their scat parties every time i have it washed and the tramp that pissed against my electric gates the other night.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:41, Reply)

Ha! i've always wondered what would happen if you pee on an electric fence
not enough to try.

So who did you catch the lurgy from? Anyone you can blame? My brother always decides to visit when he has a stinking cold, "It's ok, it's not catching" he says. I then remind him that he's an IT consultant, not a frickin' doctor.
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:47, Reply)

the tramp survived, sadly
as he often feels it is his place to comment on my tits in public. well, not just my tits. anyone's tits. that tramp is all about teh breasts.

i don't actually think it is a cold as it is mostly a horrendous gasping choking cough that makes me sound like i smoke 150 reds a day. how does your brother react to having his medical skills dissed so categorically??
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:53, Reply)

That doesn't sound good Miss Swipe
get thee to a doctor.

My brother is immune to criticism, especially from his punk-ass younger brother (he's 38, i'm 33).

Right, i'm off home. Hope you feel better soon.
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:56, Reply)

aye
if it hasn't cleared up by sat, i am going to the doctor.

have a nice night!
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:58, Reply)

Don't tell my cock
My achy-breaky cock
I just don't think it's understand
And if you tell my cock
My achy-breaky cock
It might blow up and kill this man

I'm a fucking genius.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 20 May 2010, 17:34, Reply)

why?
because you have some kind of medical condition with your cock that might lead to it rupturing and killing you?
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 18:20, Reply)

Nelly the Cockephant

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 20 May 2010, 18:31, Reply)

You owe me
one non-coffee-stained keyboard, you swine.
(

admiral crunch holds the newsreader's nose squarely, Thu 20 May 2010, 21:57, Reply)

Black Hole Cock
Won't you come,
and take away the pain
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 20 May 2010, 18:35, Reply)

Supermassive black cock
Boulevard of broken cocks
Without cock I'm nothing. Or maybe Without you I'm cock.
Cock me on a Sunday
(Biscuit Burlesque wants to be Dita von Teas, Thu 20 May 2010, 21:53, Reply)

showtunes time!
All I want is a room somewhere
Far away from the cold night air
With one enormous cock
Oh wouldn't it be loverly

-

Gonna wash that man right outta my cock
And send him on his way

-

The phantom of the opera is there,
Inside my cock

-

Oh well I never!
Was there ever
A cat so clever as
Magical Mr Cock.
(

admiral crunch holds the newsreader's nose squarely, Thu 20 May 2010, 21:56, Reply)

What about cocks?
Send in the cocks
They're already here

-

Always look on the bright side of cock

-

And I said to myself sit down
Sit down you're rocking the cock
(

admiral crunch holds the newsreader's nose squarely, Thu 20 May 2010, 22:02, Reply)

and from Rent:
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred cocks

(from the song 'Seasons of Cock')
(

admiral crunch holds the newsreader's nose squarely, Thu 20 May 2010, 22:03, Reply)

On a similar (purple throbbing) vein...
Avenue Q:

Every cock's a little bit racist

The internet is really really great... for cock
-
Mary Poppins:

Just a spoonful of sugar makes the cock go down
-
Wicked:

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me cock!
(Outraged_of_Reading tfs-sfw.com, Fri 21 May 2010, 10:21, Reply)

i can't believe nobody has thought of
With or Without Cock
The Sweetest Cock
Where the streets have no cock

all of course, sung by the world's biggest Cock
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 20 May 2010, 22:38, Reply)

We're no strangers to cock
We're no strangers to cock
You know the cock and so do I
A full cock's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this cock from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how my cock's feeling
Cock'll make you understand

Yes, you've been cock-rolled.
(Outraged_of_Reading tfs-sfw.com, Thu 20 May 2010, 22:47, Reply)

And then I saw this
www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1669

What is it, Cock Day?
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 20 May 2010, 23:01, Reply)

It could be Cock Friday.
Let's see what Google says:

"Cock Monday" - 5810 results
"Cock Tuesday" - 12300 results
"Cock Wednesday" - 6130 results
"Cock Thursday" - 14400 results
"Cock Friday" - 8780 results
"Cock Saturday" - 10100 results
"Cock Sunday" - 10200 results

Cock Friday is the third least likely possible answer for this phenomenon.
(

admiral crunch holds the newsreader's nose squarely, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Ladies and Gentlemen, the late Edwin Starr !
C0ck !
Heurgh!
God God !
What is it good for ?
Absolutely nothing.
Say it again, y'all !
(joe is troubled Got all married and teh stuffs, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:00, Reply)

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