If you could learn any skill, be it a language, sword swallowing, rodent brain surgery etc... what would it be
and why haven't you done it yet?

Alt Q: Is it admitting defeat to apply for a job at a place where you used to work in a different department because you just cannot face going back to work where you used to work because you hated the people there?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:05, 187 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I wish I was a better programmer,
but not enough to actually learn a language.
And no admitting defeat would not be applying.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:07, Reply)

oh and in job related news I didn't get that job I interviewed for before glastonbury.
Please reply sympathetically.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:10, Reply)

Job application fail
Ha.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:11, Reply)

It was more like an interview fail.
The application got me an interview.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:13, Reply)

So not a complete loser then?

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:14, Reply)

HAHA
you come across as a creepy rapist in interviews so no-one will hire you.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:14, Reply)

Unless you wanted to be a lorry driver of course

(Bazongaloid, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:14, Reply)

Haha
I like this.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:14, Reply)

I wish I could play the guitar and sing

Depends on the job, is it better than the old one?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:08, Reply)

I don't currently have one, so it'd be a step up in that sense.
Probably better than the old one in the sense that I'd be doing stuff instead of mindlessly bored and on here all the time.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:16, Reply)

I'd love to be able to play the drums extremely well
However, I tried for a bit and was shit, so gave up and sold them.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:09, Reply)

you sold them?
massive loooooooooooooser
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:15, Reply)

Needed the cash

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Booo.
I'm refusing to sell mine no matter how long I don't get a job for.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Skint? sorry.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:18, Reply)

looooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooser

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:19, Reply)

Where's your Marina?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:20, Reply)

I think the real question here is: you owned a marina?
loooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOser!!!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Under a stuffed rhinocerous in the Top Gear car park.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:25, Reply)

It's gone ooop norf
where crazy people live and love Marinas.
And for the record my mechanic skillz are awesome I just didn't have time as I work far away
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:26, Reply)

up until this point I thought everyone was talking about the kind of marina where you keep a boat
and I was confused as to why owning a marina would make you a loser instead of some kind of awesome millionaire.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:40, Reply)

I want to learn to swordfight
Pointless I know, but it may come in useful at some point in the future.

It depends on how different the department is, and if you'd have to work with the other people still.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:11, Reply)

I would like to be able to play the guitar well
I learned at school but I don't enjoy practicing enough to become really good at it, so I gave up. I want to be instantly awesome without having to put the effort in.

But that's true of most things.

I'd like to learn to sail and scuba dive, both of which should be happening shortly.

I want to make a 100 things to do before I die list, but I worry that it will depress me when I haven't done most of them.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:11, Reply)

Currently learning myself some Mandarin
and easing myself into a bit of programming, on top of all the stuff I'm cramming into my head for work.

I developed a thirst for knowledge years ago, but have only recently found the time for it.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:13, Reply)

Do oranges have their own language?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:14, Reply)

I dunno
ask a Clementine
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:15, Reply)

You taking the pith?

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:20, Reply)

Why are Mandarins orange,
but Chinese people aren't?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:21, Reply)

Without a doubt, I would love to be able to play any musical instrument
I can't hold a tune in a bucket, and was the kid who played the triangle badly at school. In other ways, I'm mostly awesome, so I don't feel I've wasted my life.

Alt Q: There is nothing defeatist in a payslip.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:15, Reply)

I'd like to build a world a home
and furnish it with love
Grow apple trees and honey bees
and snow white turtle doves
( broadsword, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:15, Reply)

I am loving your signature. Very much.
Yup, totally lovin' it.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:17, Reply)

That's nice Vips.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:17, Reply)

I still don't think this will work as a meme
because I'm not at all like a hippy and it doesn't bother me that you erroneously think I am. You may question why I keep replying to it, and it is to try and save you some effort.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:20, Reply)

I can smell patchouli

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:26, Reply)

Not even a little bit hippy?
Flares - right on.
Pot - skin up man.
Acoustic guitar - Far out.
ah come on Vips, be b3ta's very own hippy.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:28, Reply)

there are far hippier people on there than I
if you feel we need one then there are other more suitable candidates
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:00, Reply)

Com'on - go with the flow man

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Juggling. Sometimes I can - sometimes I can't. Mostly can't.
Alt a/ No. Unless you pretend to like those people when you meet.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:16, Reply)

I'd like to be able to play piano
and have no excuse given that there is one in my kitchen.

not admitting defeat. apply for the job.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:17, Reply)

I'm thinking about re-training so I can be something with a name to it.
I dunno what yet.
And I haven't done it because I got stuck in a rut in a not-bad-paying job 5 mins away from my house in my old uni.
I've previously considered something to do with diversity training, counselling, linguistics, events management, star of burlesque, and National Treasure.

Deafeat in what way? We all need a bloody job, luv!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:21, Reply)

I'm like this
I've ended up in a total rut doing boring admin shite. I'm doing my interior design degree though in the hope that I can one day be the next Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:23, Reply)

A change is gonna come
but first I have to tie all the loose ends up here so they don't know I'm a mental unmotivated liar.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:24, Reply)

hahaha
I'm covering maternity leave here and the mother is back at the end of this month, I'm realy worried she's going to come back and realise I've made a total hash of everything for the last year.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:31, Reply)

oh sounds like the end is nigh for both of us!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:32, Reply)

aye
when we both get fired we can open a lemonade stall together. You bring the lemonade, I'll work on the cute backwards lettering for the sign.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:38, Reply)

Sorted!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:39, Reply)

Muh-ha-ha-ha-ha
I'm making you leave Liverpool!
( djtrialprice, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:05, Reply)

get ta fuck!!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:06, Reply)

It's all scary outwith Mersyside
No-one speaks to anyone else and there's law and order.
btw - if you're going to use a Scots insult, it's "tae" not "ta".
( djtrialprice, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:10, Reply)

I was using Scouse,
which, granted, does shared some letters and nasal problems with Scots
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:11, Reply)

I've worked out how to say
"Shocking" in that way scousers do like they're about to spit on you
( djtrialprice, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Well done
We'll stick with that word family and teach you 'chicken' next.

By George, I think he's got it!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:16, Reply)

You are 'enry 'iggins
AICMFP
( djtrialprice, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:22, Reply)

*hands it over*
He also said:
How poignant it will be on that inevitable night, when she shows up on my door in tears and rags! Miserable and lonely, repentant and contrite! Shall I take her in, or hurl her to the wolves? Give her kindness, or the treatment she deserves? Will I take her back, or THROW THE BAGGAGE OUT?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:24, Reply)

She was too good for him

( djtrialprice, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:29, Reply)

Yeah!
Or 'No!'
I've forgotten where this is going.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:31, Reply)

I saw something yesterday and thought 'Kitty could make money with that'.
(Now I don't shop much so forgive me if you know about these).
In a frock shop there were the usual taylor's dummies, wearing rather nice retro/sixties dresses, however - in front the window was just one mini-manniquin. About 12"-15" tall, not a doll, it was a dressmaker's dummy style, so just torso on a stand. But it was wearing a similar retro dress made to fit that unlikely hour glass figure. Someone would need to make those 1/6th scale frocks.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:39, Reply)

That's pretty cool
I was considering making little corsets for dolls to match my big corsets. I'll see how hard it is, I'm not very good with fiddly shit, I'm too impatient!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:59, Reply)

you know,
I've an idea men would feel less like perves buying underwear modelled on minitures. Or less intimidated, shy, whatever. Looking at full size dummies in their knickers can feel wrong somehow. I'd feel less embarrassed for the dummy if was only doll size.
If you like I'll ask about these dummies in the shop on Thursday (next day over that way).
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:11, Reply)

Not sure it counts, but I really wanted to be a vet as a kid
but I wasn't clever enough to go to vet school. I did graduate with a biology degree which I suppose is an achievement in...oh who the fuck am I kidding WHY AM I SUCH A FAILURE??!! *sobs*

So just to recap: Skill wanted: Vet.
Not achieved because: Shit for brains.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:23, Reply)

I wanted to be a vet
but I wasn't very good at maths or science so I gave up before I made my A-Level subject choices. I have since developed allergies to most animals so it's probably a good thing.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:25, Reply)

yeah, science and maths is a bitch

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:31, Reply)

I was all creative and shit
so I never had a chance at understanding maths.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:33, Reply)

So you want to chop up little kitties and puppies? Nice.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:27, Reply)

No, I wanted to help all the fluffy aminawls
when I was 15 I did my work experience at Langford Veterinary School. Which was nice.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:29, Reply)

You just want to play with the squirty blue juice ,)
If you want to get into it, there's other pathways open now, especially if you already have a biology degree.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:31, Reply)

It's a lovely idea
but I spent most of my 20's sitting exams to become an accountant. I physically dont have it in me to go through the revise/exam cycle again.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:34, Reply)

Do you really want to be an accountant for the next 40 years though?
Show a little fucking backbone. A friend of mine qualified as a vet when he was 38 because he spent so long mithering about exams. Passed first time.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:35, Reply)

I'm reasonably happy where I am

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:41, Reply)

my sister's an accountant
She did the harder one so I didn't see her for a few months whilst she was revising. It was nice.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:36, Reply)

Harder one? I thought she was ACCA?
I'm ACCA
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:37, Reply)

I got it wrong
she's the other one. ACA?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Yeah, ACA is a bit mad
a much tighter timeframe for passing the exams, and if you dont you're fired.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:42, Reply)

yeah that was what made her go a bit mental
the other trainee before her had failed his so he was fired. No pressure!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:45, Reply)

I hated my work experience
it's what first made me question whether or not I really wanted to do it. I just watched dog after cat after dog after cat getting neutered, it was so boring. There was an interesting one where a kitty had been hit by a car, but it's eye was all mangled, which made me nearly vom, so I realised I was probably not cut out for it. Plus there was a total bitch nurse there who made me do all her cleaning jobs for her while she sat in the staff room reading magazines.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:35, Reply)

That's what work experience are for. When they're not there we have to do all the cleaning ourselves.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:36, Reply)

I know, it just embittered me
mostly because the woman was a total bitch.

I did get a whippet out of it though, she was abandoned at the beginning of my week there so I took her home with me at the end.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:41, Reply)

That's not bad going, whippets are awesome :)
Our last work experience guy was fucking useless. He wanted to be a vet and thought that cleaning cages was beneath him. He'd mop one handed which pisses me off anyway and make endless cups of coffee for himself and no one else. A cat came in seizuring when he was there and he vomited all over himself because the cat shit itself.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:48, Reply)

haha that's a bit lame
I nearly vommed over the cat that had its eye hanging out of the socket, but other than that I was pretty brave.

I've since turned so squeamish I had to leave the cinema during hostel to reverse the direction of my slushee.

I thought I did a good job of the cleaning but the nurse bitch always made me do it twice when the other nurses were happy with my work. I think she was bitter because the vet didn't fancy her.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:55, Reply)

She sounds like a cunt. Probably is.
I only get queasy when there's maggots present. Hate the bastards.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:59, Reply)

I can look at most things
It's smells that do for me
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:03, Reply)

Ahh but I used to work for Lush, I have pretty much no sense of smell now. Comes in handy sometimes.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:07, Reply)

Really?
I can smell a Lush from blocks away.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:10, Reply)

Yeah, it was boring in the small animal unit (or whatever it was)
but I managed to go out with the farm vet which was ace (apart from dropping her pen in ankle deep cow shit)
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:39, Reply)

I did get to go on a farm for a bit
while the vet vaccinated all the coos. I liked helping the vet, I hated it when the nurse used to 'borrow' me, taking me away from watching the vet to clean up her shit.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:42, Reply)

self fellatio, search engine optimisation (snore), play the banjo, quantitative research techniques (so I can expand my own business in to additional services), bake bread, manage money better and probably a lot more.

I haven't done these due to laziness & memory problems caused by being an epi.

Not defeat to apply for the job if you think you'll enjoy the work & be happy with the people & the pay.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:23, Reply)

baking bread is easy.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:26, Reply)

easier than rape?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:27, Reply)

He rapes the yeast into submission.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:36, Reply)

Start easy - set aside an afternoon and learn to play the banjo.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:56, Reply)

I've been looking online for a tutor
in London there aren't very many & none near me, might try & find a book and teach myself
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:59, Reply)

Try this chap
Patrick Costello, type 'frailing banjo' into youtube, its all free and its fucking brilliant.
(Gertcha_cowson NAH MATE, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:57, Reply)

I'd like to be able to play guitar.
But every time I pick one up to try and learn, I get annoyed that I'm not a natural, so I just leave it.

Still, it made Staus Quo a career, eh?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:24, Reply)

They've made a career out of 3 chords.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:26, Reply)

It's five actually

(Bazongaloid, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:27, Reply)

Yes, but
two of them are very rarely used.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:31, Reply)

Ooooooo
I'll have you know Status Quo are fucking great.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:27, Reply)

Yes
But what I'm saying is that they give me, a talentless, claw handed hack, hope.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:30, Reply)

I only like things I'm instantly good at
I'll hone and tweak exisitng skills and talents but I cannot stand being a complete novice.
Hence, a lot of things actually...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:27, Reply)

Absolutely the same here
It's why I gave up drumming, I was not instantly as good as the drummers in NIN, QOTSA, Tool etc...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:29, Reply)

Skills are over rated.
In other news, Portsmouth MP Penny Mordaunt came out with the classic quote:
"Although I cannot claim to have seen the final picture - as I understand, these things are no longer claimable on parliamentary expenses - it was a big-budget affair and generated substantial income for the hospital."
In regards to a porno being filmed in a hospital
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:25, Reply)

That is AWESOME

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:27, Reply)

I'd like to get into restoring classic cars
and one day I'm sure I will.

Currently only a few things are holding me up. I don't have the cash to go on any courses, buy any decent tools or buy even a knacker to practice on. I don't have a decent garage to keep the car in as my house is rented, the garage is used for storage and the drive up to it is on a nasty camber.

But otherwise I'm bang on course.
( Kroney, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:47, Reply)

I would like to understand the magic that is mathmatics.
And I wish I was a natural runner. A couple of times it's felt so easy and I can zone out and really get into the rythem of it. it's almost Zen like.
( girlinthehole, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 12:56, Reply)

Buddhists call running "flying on land."
Apparently.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:07, Reply)

I can understand why.

( girlinthehole, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:33, Reply)

I'd feel quite rubbish about all the things I can't do
but as I'm a decent guitarist and I'm better than loads of b3tans so it's not all bad.

Mind you, I think the "Paralympics medalist" rule is applicable in this case :(
( djtrialprice, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:04, Reply)

BEHOLD!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:05, Reply)

I've a lot of things I started but never finished
(Probably could have drawn out a lengthy answer for that Unfinished Projects qotw a while back but there's not really anything amusing among them)
- Over one ambitious summer I tried to learn Mandarin Chinese and to program in Java, but then my finals got in the way and I haven't picked either of them up since.
- Since about the age of 18 I've been trying to teach myself the alto sax. And now it must be two or three years since I got the thing out of the case.
- Would like to learn German properly as well. I have a vendetta to fulfil, you see. I just haven't found the time to do it yet.
- Finally get a bloody driving licence. Again, it's a lack of time, but maybe once I'm on full-time writing-up mode I'll have more time to take a few lessons and another test. Fifth (6th?) time lucky, we can but hope...
- Most of all, though, I'd like to be able to sing properly. It's not as if I can't hit notes, but it doesn't come naturally. That, and having a stupidly low bass range and a huge degree of self-consciousness about the tone of my voice, makes it a bit of challenge to front a band. Not that this has stopped me trying.

Alt Q: A job's a job. Go for it, and cross your fingers that they don't mention your stint in the previous department at interview. Or, better yet, find one of those positive-and-professional-sounding-reasons-that-we-all-know-is-bullshit ways of explaining why you quit the other department.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:21, Reply)

Je-sus
I'm a former phd student who left it until I was 26 to pass my driving test. I used to play the Eb Alto Sax at school but had to return it when I moved and give it up. Used to wish I could sing better as I'm self-concious about my very low, bassy voice. I fronted a band for most of this year and we had a few gigs but I wasn't enjoying trying to hit such high notes for my range so left. And I'd love to learn German as well. But I can program in Java (or at least I could 10 years ago, now I primarily use C#).

You are me, AICMFP.
( djtrialprice, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:28, Reply)

Holy crap
I did an MSc (a PhD for thick people) I learnt both alto and tenor sax at school and really wish I could sing properly as I love recording my own music. I also harbour ambitions to learn German (bought books and everything but then never read them) but have never learnt to program anything. I'm a fucking awesome driver though.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:39, Reply)

I'm an awesome driver now
Did Liverpool to Cambridge yesterday morning in rush hour in 3 hours. But I always knew there was a special, deep bond, some sort of special connection between us al.
( djtrialprice, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

How YOU doin!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:29, Reply)

haha!
You got one. Leave him for someone else to nab.
( girlinthehole, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:32, Reply)

yeah but he's after Kitty
I need a djtp Nano as back-up
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:33, Reply)

Is Kitty's bf aware of this?

( girlinthehole, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:35, Reply)

He's always stoned and finds her too high maintenance anyway I'll bet

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:36, Reply)

you have to bear in mind that kitty is madly in love with me

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Shit!
So am I, tbh.
This is becoming a right saga.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:40, Reply)

works out alright for me though
with all these hotties clamouring around.

where were you all when I was single eh?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:41, Reply)

They were getting restraining orders on you.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:43, Reply)

That's ok
I never bother looking into the eyes to see the feeling of deep emptiness and longing to be with someone else.
( djtrialprice, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:42, Reply)

then you'll be fine :-)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:48, Reply)

trudat.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

he says I'm very high maintenance but he's happy being the maintenance guy.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

hey there cute stuff
;)
( djtrialprice, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:48, Reply)

ooh you'll get me in all sorts of trouble
and possible scupper my chances of getting a boat called The Smug Croissant to sail off into the sunset with Vipros
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:52, Reply)

Hahahahha

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Le Croissant Smug

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)

it's ok
we'll elope on a yacht to somewhere exotic leaving a trail of devastation to all and sundry behind us
( djtrialprice, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)

oh I like this
fuck Vipros, you're my new favourite.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)

I'll Vipros you vigorously
( djtrialprice, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

all it takes to sway you is a trail of devastation?
remember also that I can sail.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Haha, yeah', haha, so what about that Gonz fella, he's such a dreamboat, oh man, I sure hope nobody takes that hunk-a-luv off the market, haha.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Well that's a given
you're the offtopic dreamboat. It would be too obvious to say out loud.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 14:18, Reply)

To true, but I like the attention anyway =)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Aahahaha
He's the younger version of me. Ok lets break up and you can have Crow and I can start *ahem* continue pestering kitty.
( djtrialprice, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:32, Reply)

Where does he live?
CROW WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:34, Reply)

That London
Yeah, I must admit the overlap between djtp and me is somewhat remarkable. Trialprice, you're not an ale drinker as well, are you?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:37, Reply)

Well hello there...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:37, Reply)

Good afternoon, madam

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:38, Reply)

And you're how old?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:41, Reply)

24.
At least for a couple more weeks. 25 at the end of the month.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:43, Reply)

but as Lampito said a few days ago
I look the same age as him. I attribute it to hiding from the sun for 30 years :D
( djtrialprice, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:45, Reply)

Yes, Al was convinced I was nearly 30 until she corrected him
Though part of this may be linked to my friend's accusation that I "tan like a Spaniard."
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

I was convinced of the same

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:48, Reply)

The difference is that Al had met me before this revelation.
Twice.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Yeah but the thing is, you're a lot taller than me
and I tend to assume anyone taller than me is my age or a bit older.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Never got over all the years at school, looking up at all the bigger boys, did you al?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)

I wasn't looking up
when I found out they were bigger boys
(Bazongaloid, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Ah, just staring at the floor just in front of you,
hoping the feel of the gravel digging into your knees would distract you from the strange sensation in your rectum and the ghastly feeling of sweaty, lustful shame?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:58, Reply)

You're safe
He is tanned.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:50, Reply)

I love Deuchars and JHB and St Edmunds and loads of others

( djtrialprice, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:40, Reply)

Yeah, we are scarily similar. I just wonder how many of these traits are common to all of the /OT male demographic

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:42, Reply)

There was some standard set of /OT characteristics
many of which applied to me. I don't own a griddle pan though.
( djtrialprice, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:43, Reply)

I inherited one a little while ago, though I don't use it as often as I probably should.
I've also got the ale drinking, guitar playing and flappy-hair-sporting boxes well ticked. Trying to think what the others were now...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:45, Reply)

A fondness for Half Man Half Biscuit, marijuana and self-abuse.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Oh, well I've got the third one sorted...

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

You should get one of those mother fuckers
it'll make your girlfriend wetter than Crowsephine.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:45, Reply)

Crowsephine?

( djtrialprice, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Crowsephine
is what we call Crow when making him out to be more limp wristed than he really is. Which is very.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Alles klar
Danke
( djtrialprice, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:53, Reply)

OH FUCKING HELL, NOT YOU AS WELL NOW.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Ja
mich auch. Es tut mir leid.
( djtrialprice, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 14:00, Reply)

I've created a monster!
-cackles-
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

I should be indignant
But I quite like the name. If any woman is ever daft enough to agree to bear my children, I'll be arguing in favour of calling any female offspring Crowsephine...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)

You could be the piece of cheese in a geek sandwich.

( girlinthehole, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:37, Reply)

Oooh
*ponders*
Actually, that would be awfully tiring.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:38, Reply)

But in a good way.

( girlinthehole, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:42, Reply)

stop pimping us out!

( djtrialprice, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Ignore him!

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Hi five mid-way through?

( djtrialprice, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

and change ends?

( djtrialprice, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

And then play a game of cards on her back?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Oi!
The pair o' yez!
Pack it in!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Sounds like they already are.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:52, Reply)

WAHEY!
Fnar fnar
Fnar fnar
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Aw shut it you

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Don't talk with your mouth full!

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Hang on
which ends are you talking about?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:52, Reply)

I'd assumed "bow" and "stern"

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:53, Reply)

not front and back?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Starboard and....
....the other one.

Edit - Port - that's the one.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)

I prefer to use nautical terms
That way I can cheekily refer to a jaunt up to the poop deck.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)

*snigger*
I think you'll find her poop deck is out of bounds.
( girlinthehole, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 14:00, Reply)

I'll be on the lookout for signs denoting
"No unauthorised entry."
Or possibly any that read
"Staff entry only"
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 14:04, Reply)

'Staff' as in 'employee' or 'long pole'?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 14:38, Reply)