Advice please.
What's an acceptable amount to spend on your own child's 2nd birthday present these days? As a family we don't spend much on each other so my personal experience is perhaps a bit distorted.

I don't know whether I've gone massively over the top, have pitched it about right or I am in fact a stingy cunt and don't even know it.

Sorry for such a super-dull question but it's really bothering me and my ex will slaughter me if I've got it really wrong.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:34, 117 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

As long as it comes in a box big enough for them to play in
who cares?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Forget the ex.
It's my experience that if you buy her a cardboard box she'll be happy.
( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:36, Reply)

I work in a box factory
I can get a massive box made with windows and a door if you like for a make shift den*

*warning exposure to rain will destroy the den
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Aw man I love dens.
We used to make them for my nephew with the clothes horse and a big sheet.
( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Can I have one of these
for my, er, child...
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:15, Reply)

A second birthday
is not memorable. A few cuddly toys, picture books, etc would be more than enough and that is what is generally done in our family until people get old enough to actually enjoy the presents more than the wrapping
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

At that age it isn't how much you spend
It is what have you bought. Remember you aren't buying to impress, you are buying to give your lovely daughter a present
which will please her and continue to do so for at least two weeks.
So really that MyFirst Vibrator is probably just the thing.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

How much do cuddly toys
cost these days? Thirty, forty quid? The child's two years old and won't care. The more pertinant question is "how much will it take to appease the mother" and there I can't help you.
( Kroney, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:39, Reply)

This is actually the correct answer.
The kid will be more impressed with jelly and ice cream.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Unfortunately
as I only get to see her 10am to 1pm on one day of the weekend it will be impossible for me to give her a party. Or indeed to attend the one she's having on Thursday afternoon.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

I think you should watch Falling Down twice a day until Thursday.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:45, Reply)

What I actually mean is this is the worst possible thing you can do.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:47, Reply)

that is a brilliant movie..

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:47, Reply)

That really blows
using a child as a weapon in a disagreement is pretty low. You should get an invite, at least :(
( Kroney, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:49, Reply)

It's ridiculous the amount of money parents are expected to spend on their kids nowadays
especially at such a young age. Get her something that she'll enjoy playing with for as long as possible and try and make it something relevant to what few interests she has developed so far (I know nothing about kids, sorry).

I saw an advert for My First Laptop the other day, not whilst watching Nickelodeon of course.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Get her a teddy bear. I still have my first one from when I was 2.
I still love it and it's a bit worn, but it's one thing I absolutely love. Doesn't matter how much you spend, s'long as it's soft and cuddly and cute.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Gotta be this ^
I don't even remember being 2, let alone what I got for my birthday. Something the right size for little hands to grab onto and suitably soft and fluffy will do nicely.

If you're worried about impressing the ex/mother, spend £15 on it but no more.
( Bats, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:15, Reply)

i always spend
waaaay too much on presents, so i won't give a figure. but i will say that so long as she likes it who gives a flying f*ck what your ex thinks, presents are just between you and your daughter.

get used to it, because you are going to spend the next 16 years sneaking her clothes and haircuts to spoil her rotten that the ex won't like!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:46, Reply)

One exclamation mark is enough thanks.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:47, Reply)

IS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:49, Reply)

multiple exclamation marks are a sign of a diseased mind

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:50, Reply)

when i want your opinion
on my punctuation or anything else i'll ask for it, thank you very much.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Someone got out of bed the wrong side this morning.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:53, Reply)

oh
go and gaz yourself to amorous badger you epic fail you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Quick call your army of sweaty fans to give you an idea for a better comeback

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:56, Reply)

sure
what's your phone number?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:56, Reply)

0800 F-U-C-K-O-F-F

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

stop being American

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Yeah, and using the wrong number of digits,
generally quite a shit post.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Woh', what's with all the bullying?
I don't understand it, why would someone be so mean? I don't know what's wrong with you these days, but you've turned mean.

It's a cold, cold, COLD, day on /offtopic when one person can bully another with such harsh worlds =(
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

gonzo to the rescue
that was swoon-tastic
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Oh Rachel, when are we going to do a Eachel and Joey and go out, only to realise we're not right for eachother and then I move to Florida and get my own show and you end up with Owen Wilson?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:41, Reply)

because
basically you have just dumped me before it even started, and i can't take that kind of rejection.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 12:01, Reply)

But I can still mark it down as a relationship in my books, yeah'?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 12:24, Reply)

I'm sorry gonz,
I've let you down, I've let offtopic down but most of all I've let myself down.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I don't know how you can sleep at night, it's rather stuffy.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:39, Reply)

I'm not getting enough sleep at the moment gonz :(

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 12:01, Reply)

I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW IT'S A GLANDULAR PROBLEM YOU INSENSITIVE SHIT!

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

i do love the fact
that you tacitly admitted to being a fan though.

/lawyer
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Ha! Got me with your legal mumbo-jumbo

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:09, Reply)

don't worry
you would win on any amount of number crunching scenarios
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

She will slaughter you no matter what
Get the little gal whatever you want her to open on her birthday, because you know she'll like it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:48, Reply)

My vote goes for cuddly toy
My mates child is 1 y/o at the end of this month and they are having a big party and sending out proper invitations. His wife is in competition with her sister and her friends over this sort of thing.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:48, Reply)

This
alturl.com/jrim9
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:50, Reply)

well
if the kid is living with the 'woman' I suggest you tuckle off down to the Early Learning Centre and buy cymbals, a triangle, and basically anything that can be banged together to make a noise, lots of noise.

Alternatively one of those pull along duck toys that quacks as it trundles along went down an absolute storm with my nephew and it was about a fiver
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Ha! Fisher Price "My First Air-Horn"
a bit young for a vuvuzela
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:52, Reply)

my 9 month old made his own vuvzela
so 2 is not too young for it.
( ascorbate, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:54, Reply)

He sounds like an evil genius in the making
you'd better start saving for that underground lair he's gonna need.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

yup
definitely evil, not so sure about the genius aspect.
( ascorbate, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Ha!
I've already bought her a recorder, harmonica, tambourine and a xylophone, and bless her she loves them. I've seen a toddler's drumkit and she'll have it for Xmas....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:55, Reply)

excellent work!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:59, Reply)

The recorder was a particularly spiteful choice, I thought.
I shall be encouraging her to take up the violin as soon as she is old enough, too. And the fucking bagpipes.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

get her a mellotron
they can make ears bleed
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Good man
surprisingly enough you can get them just about anything and they will love it, if its plastic, makes a noise and has things to press, pull, poke and fiddle with then its a great toy.

Just wait until she is about 9 then it starts getting difficult. Unless you buy her a pony
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Then what about when she's 10?

( Bats, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:17, Reply)

condoms and makeup
kids are starting earlier and earlier
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:21, Reply)

that is incredibly bleak.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:41, Reply)

Roota's right,
sounds like whatever you do you're gonna get in the shit from the ex. Get the kid something you want it to have for a long time and connects the two of you. or if you want to piss off the ex get the kid a goat or a pig?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Nothing says "I love you"
like a bag of shaved weasels
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Spending shitloads is for the grandparents
Parents who spend a fortune on birthdays and christmas usually have to let them go without elsewhere. I know you don't get to spend as much time with your halfling as you would like which must be fucking awful. My wife always wants to spend loads but my daughter is two and I can assure you she was more interested in the wrapping paper than the presents. Its just fun for them. They have no concept of cost. Fuck the ex's opinions right in the face.
( Peej, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:55, Reply)

I've bought her a Ybike
www.ybike.com.au/

Also some DVDs and a hardback edition of Arthur Rackham's Fairy Book. I always get her something that she might have for life. To me that seems OK but I really appreciate getting all your opinions on board.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

that sounds good
and the bike will probably have a big box as well.

I like the Rackham fairy book as well. Kids absolutely love that
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:02, Reply)

the bike looks good
can't beat a good book as well.

I strongly suspect I wouldn't be the person I am today without Kipling's Just So Stories.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:03, Reply)

they were brilliant
edit: I think the books you read at a formative age have an effect on you for life
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I think so
my dad used to read them to me, when he wasn't making up stories about Beowolf and such.

My grandfather was Sussex county librarian, and as such had a lot of wonderful early editions of books. His copy of the Just So Stories was the best smelling book I've ever encountered.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:09, Reply)

I didn't like people reading to me
but some of the books I read when I was little probably still shape my actions now.

My dad is an inveterate book buyer. They numbered in the thousands, and I accidentally ruined his first edition Hobbit. I also accidentally stole a first edition Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:14, Reply)

it was when I was really young
I'd forgotten about it completely until fairly recently when I suddenly recalled that my dad was really good at making up stories to tell me.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:17, Reply)

that's my role in the family
I told stories to get siblings to sleep. The other day my mother ordered me to tell her a story/read from a book to send her to sleep since my voice has soporific qualities
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:19, Reply)

I loved Just So stories
The Cat That Walked Alone was my favourite.

I also loved Aesop's fables, we had a really awesome teacher at primary school who used to tell us Aesop's fables at story time. She would also tell us Shakespeare stories, without reading them, in ways that we would understand, she was brilliant.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:19, Reply)

:(
I got exiled during story time
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:24, Reply)

did you wee on the mat?
there was always one kid who weed on the mat.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:36, Reply)

haha
I wasn't that bad. Just a know it all who hated inconsistencies
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:40, Reply)

I couldn't choose my favourite
The Crab that Played with the Sea or How the Elephant got his trunk possibly.

sounds like a great teacher :-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:24, Reply)

I love how the rhino got his wrinkly skin
by eating the cake and getting all the crumbs everywhere.

She was a great teacher, I have no idea what happened to her. She was pretty old when I knew her so she's probably not around anymore.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:37, Reply)

*adds to list*
I adored them too.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

It might be a good idea to get her a book that you'd need to read to her
and then whenever she's at yours you can read her a story from the book and then it'll be something that she looks forward to and will hopefully pester her mother with.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:38, Reply)

nice idea
if you can find a book called Time and Again Tales then get that. I loved it as a kid and still have it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:46, Reply)

She's never at mine.
It's not allowed.

:(((((
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 12:00, Reply)

That sucks
Why not?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Her mother's a cunt.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 12:10, Reply)

stand up to her
fight for what you know is right, it'll be worth it
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 12:16, Reply)

I WANT A YBIKE!
SHOUTING!
( Peej, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I have a book like that, that I can read when I'm sad or feeling nostalgic.
It's the Faber Book of Nursery Verse. My father has a supply of about 15 that he constantly replenishes, and gives out to newborns in our family and friend circle. It's great to read aloud from.

I read "Jim" by Hilaire Belloc last night to myself before I went to sleep last night.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:22, Reply)

I love Hilaire Belloc
I recited his pomes two years running for my English Speaking Board exams at school.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 12:08, Reply)

HaHaHaHaHaHaHa(breath)HaHaHaHa!

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 12 Jul 2010, 12:11, Reply)

'morning all
The Ybike looks awesome. If she's as lively as you've described in the past then I can imagine it becoming her principal mode of transport.

The Rackham book is an excellent idea as, even if she doesn't fully appreciate the stories in it now, she'll look back on it fondly when she's about 20 and starting to get nostalgic about her childhood. (And, of course, a limp-wristed individual like myself is always going to like a book full of fairies...)
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:56, Reply)

£39.99, not a penny more, not a penny less.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Cost doesn't matter.
If it lives with the ex get it something that makes shitloads of loud noises.
If it lives with you, something cuddly that it'll hold and go to sleep.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Drums!
It's never too early for drums. Or for the extra loud effect, drums with dogs inside. I think the dogs would object to the hitting and make even more noise.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:22, Reply)

a carrier bag full of shit and broken glass

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:15, Reply)

When my little girl turned 2
I got her a little kitchen set, a trike and lots of little presents, but I like to spoil my daughter in the hope that it will make her a better person than I am.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Yeah spoilt kids always turn out awesome.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:20, Reply)

and you just know that she's going to be grateful, right?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:23, Reply)

a better person than I am love me
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:20, Reply)

somebody has to

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:24, Reply)

They don't HAVE to,
But it would be nice, wouldn't it?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:31, Reply)

My daughter properly loves me
I'm like totally the best dad in the world and shit
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:33, Reply)

has she got you a mug to that effect?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:39, Reply)

I've got THREE 'Best Dad in the World' mugs
one of them even has a baby photo of her on it, plus I have t shirts and pants with the same slogan on them.

When you have a pair of ill-fitting boxer shorts with 'best dad in the world' on them, you know you've made it.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:42, Reply)

A carrier bag from which shop?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Tesco's
we don't want her thinking she's special
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Tescos??!! *vomits into hat*
you really are twisted
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Just 'Tesco' will suffice
We don't need to talk about the non-existent mr Tesco and get me all cross.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:23, Reply)

I like to imagine Mr Tesco being an 'Uncle Scrooge' type billionaire

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Sir Terry Leahy is a scouser
How dare you
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:28, Reply)

*cackles like Donald Duck*
*sexually abuses Huey, Duey and Louie*

*films and sells under the title 'Fuck Tales'*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:29, Reply)

There is a Mr Tesco
every christmas he finds a hard-up family and gives them half a bag of out-of-date turkey twizzlers.

Gawd bless 'im.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Ideal Toy, two options...
Option one: If she hasn't got one alread, go for a nice cuddly teddy bear that will last and as stated above will be loved for many years.

Option two: Something electronic that makes an annoying noise for a set preiod of time and has no off switch. For a mates young son in the US I bought an English police "tit" with a blue light and siren on top (prob not appropriate for your daughter, but you get the idea). It was made perfect by no off switch and the batteries were inside and phillips screwed in (which I was able shred) so the parents were driven nuts for 6 months till the batteries died. Little 'un loved it and parents frequently emailed me with directions to hell.

Option two might be the better option to reflect your lack of invite to the party this week.
( b3tz, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 12:07, Reply)

I think
all you can do is get her a puppy and an air rifle.I can help you out with the rifle...
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:01, Reply)