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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Yeah it's not links wha wa wa fuck off.
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1294297/Girl-15-rejected-hairdressing-apprenticeship--short-cut-hair.html

Clearly mother knows best, about how to fuck over her daughter's career before its even started.

Alt Q: What's the most disgusting thing you've ever seen?
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:08, 294 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
Well, the heiffer in that picture was hardly one of the most pleasant sights I've witnessed.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:10, Reply)
I don't know about too short
but most hairdressers I've seen aren't that fat and ugly
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:11, Reply)
They probably decided it was easier to say "she's too short and might be at risk stretching over the top of those chairs"
than having to explain, "sorry, your daughter looks like a deformed Friesian with Down's and our customers will probably leap out of the chair in terror and run a fucking mile if they see that lurching toward them with a pair of scissors."
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)
^ winner ^

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:18, Reply)
She is 15 and has been studying hairdressing for 2 years?
I didn't know there was a hairdressing GCSE {Insert rant about having to do proper subjects like mathematics in my day}
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)
They've watered the whole syllabus down by calling it "Hairdressing."
It's far too specific. At least in my day they taught me the full scope and breadth of Barbarism.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:26, Reply)
"Ba-Ba-Ba, Ba-Ba-Barism"
I prefer "Surin' Safari"
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:34, Reply)
they can do the 14-19 pathways thing, now instead of something like 4 GCSEs
NVQ health and social care, hairdressing or car stuff.

/more info than you wanted
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:29, Reply)
Sounds like a right load of cock-dribble to me

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:35, Reply)
keeps the chavs off the proper subjects
its also nice that they've made effectively pink and blue subjects - one for girls and one for boys :(
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:36, Reply)
It would have been a brave lad at my school that choose hairdressing

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:43, Reply)
Or a BUMDER.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:45, Reply)
Still brave though

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:51, Reply)
Alt Q
This

Credit goes to TGB for this
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:10, Reply)
I can't think of the most disgusting thing
but recently I did witness a lady sharing her cornetto ice cream with her scotty dog... it made me do a bit of sick in my mouth.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:11, Reply)
I mean wasting Ice cream, disgusting.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:13, Reply)
Exactly
A dog is hardly going to appreciate the complexities of chocolate chip, mint ice cream, chocolate swirl and chopped up nuts… bloody bastard. Plus it was a scotty dog… worst of all the dogs.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:15, Reply)
They've got nothing on rat russells. Mightiest of all the anklebiters

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:16, Reply)
This is also true
but at least they have tiny trampolines sewn into each foot for comedy.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)
Just makes them harder to kick

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)
I hate jack russells
they just cry out "kick me!"
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)
I saw someone
kick a Jack Russell or similar small dog once. It flew.
I felt bad for laughing but it was incredibly funny
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)
I couldn't actually do it
but I'd think hard about it
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:26, Reply)
I wouldn't do it myself
but it didn't hurt the dog. No running kick or something, just lifted up on a booted foot and hurled
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:28, Reply)
this reminds me of a shit joke

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)
tell us then

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:38, Reply)
man is walk along, eating fish and chips
woman walks past with an annoying yappy dog
man says "mind if I throw your dog a bit?"
woman says "not at all"
so he picks up the dog and hurls it over a wall.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:50, Reply)
I guffawed at that

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:37, Reply)
I don't know whether that's more or less alarming
than the woman I saw wiping her dog's bum in full view of anybody who happened to be passing through that part of Hyde Park one morning
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:15, Reply)
Hahaha
Aww the worst thing is when they eat grass and then can't poo it out properly so you actually have to pull it out... our old german shep used to do that all the time because he was a knob. I was too horrified to do what needed to be done so took him home and got my dad to sort it out! Haha
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)
Good god.
I think I actually felt my stomach turn slightly as I read that.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)
Think how I felt when it happened
He looked at me as if to say 'Ha ha sort that out'... I refused.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:34, Reply)
My cat did that once with a long bit of tinsel

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:38, Reply)
gah!
nasty
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)
Hahaha
At least it was festive! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)
That was the first year we had them, they destroyed the christmas tree by jumping in it and swiping at anyone who walked past - they were about 4 months old at this point, so small enough
Then she ate this giant bit of tinsel and I could see something red and shiny coming out of her bum. I took hold of it and just let her go mental pulling it out herself. I'd just been doing work experience at a vets and had seen a cat who swallowed a needle and thread and it punctured almost every major organ, so I was a bit scared of pulling out her intestines at the same time. There wasn't even any poo on it :)
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:44, Reply)
do I want a pet ferret?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)
I dunno. Do you?

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:48, Reply)
i thought a vet person would know better if it was a good idea
they are pretty cute
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:51, Reply)
Depends, do you have the time and money to commit to it? Have you owned pets before and managed to not kill them when they bite you?
Do you want to smell of ferret?
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:53, Reply)
I had hamsters
but I suppose they are more an entry level pet

i had heard they smell. Perhaps a guinea pig or rabbit would be better
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:58, Reply)
Guinea pigs urine is unscented. They are shitting machines though. I'd only get one again if I had time to devote to it and I'd get two of them so they're not left alone to get bored.
I've seen too many rabbits with various diseases over the last year to even contemplate getting one. They die far too easily.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:08, Reply)
I used to have rabbits and guinea pigs when I was a kid
they're awesome. Sure wish rodenty pets didn't live such short lives :(
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:12, Reply)
6-8 years is pretty good going for a guinea pig

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:16, Reply)
my sister has a ferret and loves it.
however, they do have to be let out every day for a couple of hours. Plus they smell. Not horrifically, but it's noticeable. You'll get used to it but you'll notice it when you go out and come back again. Other people will also notice it. Having said that, it's probably no worse than dog smell.

They're a really fun pet though, they're like kittens, they just play all the time.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:56, Reply)
man, there should be a place you can go to
to get your fix of playing with ferrets (not a euphemism)
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:59, Reply)
you can look after my sister's any time she asks me to
just don't tell her.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:12, Reply)
ooh we should pitch it to Noel as part of his Walking for Wellness thing
playing with cute little animals is very calming.

We just need a name.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:13, Reply)
fondling ferrets

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:14, Reply)
Hahaha
Amazing cat!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:49, Reply)
Haha!
Alt Q. with no original question, it's become commonplace now.

In response to it: No comment
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:12, Reply)
The first question was implied.

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:13, Reply)
just like our helter-skelter relationship, B

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)
Relationship?

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:15, Reply)
Oh dear.
*hides under desk*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:16, Reply)
Come out Blousie, I called a truce last week, just seeing if he can stick to it.

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)
we both know that we're meant to be together
stop fighting it
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:16, Reply)
We have a new contender for the most disgusting thing I've ever seen on here

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:18, Reply)
Methinks the lady doth protest too much
love and hate are very similar in many ways, B.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)
are you trying to mack on my girl?

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)
Go upside his head!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:34, Reply)
Woohoo my bitches be fightin' over me

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)
it's written in the stars, Beckyjsbx
we were meant to be together and you know it
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)
You can't fight destiny

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)
it would be pointless to fight destiny when I can just bust you in the mouth

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:42, Reply)
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:44, Reply)
it's all empty threats really
I only look well 'ard
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:54, Reply)
gutted

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:57, Reply)
Gets popcorn

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:45, Reply)
even hating each other is a relationship

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)
I've seen someone eat shit for money
It was not pleasant.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:12, Reply)
Alt q: I've been to bashes

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:12, Reply)
Didn't stop you though, did it?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)
zingety zing

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:15, Reply)
Don't we know it.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:16, Reply)
blah blah blah
we got on well and you know it you pikey bitch.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:16, Reply)
oooh saucy

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)
don't be so hard on yourself

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:18, Reply)
I wasn't actually refering to the last bash, I have been to others before

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)
He has
but he was massively outshon by Donkeygums and Wormulus
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)
I have no idea
what either of them look like. So the possibilities are frightening
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)
that could almost be a compliment

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)
if you look at it
in the right light.

And your standards are low
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)
ha!
Wormulus has a massive chin!
And Donkey gums didn't stay still long enough for me to see what he actually looked like
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:26, Reply)
so Donkeygums
is some sort of mosquito then?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)
Scarecrow rapist crossed with cher.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:28, Reply)
chercrow rapist?

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:59, Reply)
So he looks like you, only wearing a mankini and covered in straw?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:11, Reply)
but with a cockney accent

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:27, Reply)
you do realise who you are talking to right?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:26, Reply)
Haha, I forgot about that bash.

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)
A pigeon
with these, like, hard round things things growing on its claws, and they were going 'clack clack clack' on my parents' garden table and I was filled with repulsion, revulsion, pity and guilt in almost equal measures.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:13, Reply)
not ssure
what the most disgusting thing I've ever seen was. Probably some shock link or the other.

But the most disgusting thing I've ever read was only a few days ago, in The Wasp Factory
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)
that is a brilliant book

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)

brilliant shit
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)
you are wrong

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)
very very wrong
(just read Transitions - is very cool)
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)
Most of the rest of his stuff is great,
but that one is just properly fucking awful.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:48, Reply)
too close to home?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:53, Reply)

close to home shit
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:11, Reply)
Was it the bit with the maggots?

(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:49, Reply)
saw someone puke in to a glass & then drink the vomit

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)
pfft
everyone has seen that
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:16, Reply)
She was 83 though

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)
Probably something on here like tub girl etc
I've seen loads of short arse hairdressers.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)
haha tub girl
harsh

EDIT: Ok I thought you were talking about that ginger bird who was in her bath, but other people have mentioned it now. What is tubgirl?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:00, Reply)
not witnessed it myself
but (bear with me) a friend at work was out at the weekend and ended up talking to a friend of a friend. Apparently this friend of a friend is a real weirdo and is still breast-feeding her child long after most would have stopped.

This woman then went on to relate a tale where her cat brought her a mouse which was stunned. She then tried to breast-feed it back to health. But it died.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:16, Reply)
pft you don't have friends

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:18, Reply)
yours aren't friends
they are weary travellers seeking refuge from the weather in your cavernous vagina.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)
ha
nice
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)
;-)

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)
Only in Devon!!!
and Somerset
and Gloucestershire
and Wiltshire
and god knows what they get up to in Hampshire
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)
I know...
can you imagine being the woman's husband or something?

"are you planning to feed our child from the same tit you have been pressing against the mouth of that dead rodent?"
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)
I read a story about a woman who breastfeeds all her kids,
the eldest being 13, but also FEEDS THE DAD as well. GROSSSSSS
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:14, Reply)
quick question:
what are you supposed to be bearing in mind Vipros?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:00, Reply)
it was bear with me
because of all the friend of a friend stuff
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:47, Reply)
haha
I like how in the shop window they have smudged the models face so no one will recognise her.

I sense a mild degree of irony...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)
The worst thing I've actually seen
Was either a forward sent to me, which showed a young lad getting his arms run over by a truck as a punishment for stealing.

Either that, or the video of the guy who tried to dive off a dock, fucked up, landed face first on concrete about 20 feet below, and split his face in half. If you really want to know what I mean, it's here
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:18, Reply)
Your newspapers have some of the funniest stories.
Most disgusting thing I've ever seen? On the internet, tubgirl. In real life - they day I found my dog playing in a rotting cow carcass. (I rent a cottage on a farm.) Gross.
(nolongernuts, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:18, Reply)
Stop trying to be interesting
I still hate you, you're not going to change that now
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)
Don't be mean Bert.
At least give the lad a chance til he loses his L-plates.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:36, Reply)
you have to be horrible to the new ones
it's the only way they'll learn to survive
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:37, Reply)
No one was horrible to me when I was a noob.
And look at me now. Flourishing!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:41, Reply)
cunt

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:41, Reply)
It's too late now.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:44, Reply)
FESTERINGWHORECUNTATTENTIONSEEKINGCOCKMUNCHER
Better dear?
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:45, Reply)
Much! Ta love.
I feel so hated, it's wonderful.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:47, Reply)
Mission accomplished :)

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:49, Reply)
yeah they were
www.b3ta.com/questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post140821
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:47, Reply)
That doesn't quite work when I can see the time and date of that.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:49, Reply)
That doesn't quite work when you SHUT THE HELL UP

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:50, Reply)
FAIL

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:53, Reply)
Yeah, that totally told her.

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:54, Reply)
Yeah, I am so told.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:57, Reply)
excellent

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:04, Reply)
And I thought I was special, you disappointing cunt you.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 16:00, Reply)
I'm really not offended.
It's well known that Bert is a cunt and I wouldn't expect anything less of him.

And on that note, I got to get to a meeting.
(nolongernuts, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:50, Reply)
Shhhh, I'm being nice.
It rarely happens. Don't spoil it.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:54, Reply)
I fucking hate maggots. They make me gag. Once on telly I saw some video of a fly shitting out larvae, I about puked all over myself

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)
I ate a maggot once for a dare
nom nom nom
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)
that made me gag IRL

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)
You are my hero.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)
PUKE

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)
I hate maggots too.
Hence my worshiping TGB.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:28, Reply)
I would fucking puke on my shoes if I saw someone do that
once when I was 13 I got one on me and I cried and ran in my house and showered. My friend was all "they just eat dead skin" and I was all bleurggghhhhh. It's fucking ming.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)
they used to be used (and maybe still are)
to clean out wounds. useful little blighters.

also, do not read The Wasp Factory. The bit in it turned Amberl's stomach, it would probably actually make you hurl.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)
I've read things
that a lot of people would consider worse. But my stomach is pretty much cast-iron. However I have a slight phobia of flies
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:35, Reply)
I know, they are, but even just talking about them turns my stomach
*bokes*
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:36, Reply)
Poor [ex boyfriend], but poorer tgb=(

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:38, Reply)
Actually the most awful things I see are on the news.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)
this

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)
Myself in the morning.
The mass of wet, matted hair, fluff and god-knows-what that got pulled out of my flatmates shower drain. Wet hair in general that's not attached to anything makes me wretch something awful.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)
Yeah, I also find Elton John quite repulsive

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)
I'm unsure as to which thing in that post you're calling Elton John.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:28, Reply)
hair that's not attached to anything I think

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:29, Reply)
Indeed, I was going for the strange rodent he's had stitched into his scalp
A little far-fetched that one, I admit
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:29, Reply)
Ahhh, I see.
I did wonder if you meant me in the morning. I was about to be highly offended.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:33, Reply)
And that would never do.
(I'd have to fight off Chompy's white-knighting for a start)

No, it would be remiss of me to make such a speculation as I've no idea what you look like first thing in the morning ,just in the middle of the night.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:35, Reply)
Nah, he doesn't like me anymore. So you're safe.
Damnit! I've changed the locks on my bedroom windows, how are you still getting in?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:43, Reply)
You assume I was ever let out in the first place...
Seriously, if you find me can you bring me some food, please? I've been surviving off the dead insects that gather in whichever corner of your room I've been trapped in...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:44, Reply)
Where the hell are you then?
I'm afraid to look under my bed. I'm just going to turn off my music for a bit and listen carefully for the clacking of keys being pressed, and a soft fwapping noise.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)
I'm now so dehydrated
(and so raw and leathery) that it sounds less like a soft 'fwap' of moist flesh, and more like two crocodiles having sex in a packet of cornflakes.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:51, Reply)
I thought that noise was my sister was eating cereal in bed. :/

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:52, Reply)
You must have wondered why your sister was eating so much cereal
Endlessly, all day and often all night?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:53, Reply)
And when she wasn't even here...

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:55, Reply)
I must apologise to her
for the times you came back and accused her of spilling some of the milk on your floor.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:58, Reply)
so Crow
what were the spoons for?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:01, Reply)
Why, flicking it at you while you slept, of course.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:02, Reply)
that's some distance
to flick a spoon
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:04, Reply)
this whole subthread is making me feel ill
stoppit.

and tidyup.*

*you won't get this. Crow might.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:54, Reply)
I SAID NO!

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:54, Reply)
BeeHave
and Bee Good
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:56, Reply)
I do.
I think we'd all better stop for a sitdown before we all get naughty-pox.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:55, Reply)
Splain please?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:55, Reply)
Have a gander
at any of these. Children's TV at its most bizarre, and narrated by lovable Oirish Piss-Artist Terry Wogan to boot!
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:57, Reply)
He used to wear a wig.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:29, Reply)
me too, I have no idea why!
When I have to clean the drain out it makes me gag, even though it doesn't smell or anything. I have to use rubber gloves and a tissue and not look at it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:53, Reply)
Probably the victim of a shotgun accident
I was in A&E due to a drunken fight with a bollard, when they wheeled in a screaming woman with the back of her thigh hanging off after being shot by a dropped shotgun.
(I helped save b3ta! M o D, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:36, Reply)
I know this isn't relevent, but I don't care
I need to sort out this stupid "...related incident" thing. I need a proper awesome name. Ideas, suggestions?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:43, Reply)
I like the "related incident" bit

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:44, Reply)
I like it too
the ever-changiness of it, like the Simpsons credits.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:47, Reply)
Me too.
And the fact that everytime you change it, it takes me a minute to work out who you are.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:50, Reply)
I originally started changing it
gradually so I would eventually have a good name. This failed.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:55, Reply)
awesome name-related incident

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:17, Reply)
'Internet Gaylord'?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)
...with tits
I won't regret that one

(didn't make it to that place you were playing music at, but I did see a man in a t shirt with Bowie's face on it in Camden)
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:49, Reply)
That wasn't me.
Shame you couldn't make it...
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:50, Reply)
breast related incident is sexy enough

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:50, Reply)
No, we'll confuse her with Foxtrot

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:52, Reply)
*snigger*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:54, Reply)
what was your first related incident?

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:47, Reply)
camel

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:49, Reply)
camel toe
camelhaveagoifyouthinkyourehardenough

I'm out.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:18, Reply)
something to do with camels...
Woo points to me!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:49, Reply)

*Points at you*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:51, Reply)
In a nice way?

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:51, Reply)
Absolutely.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:52, Reply)
Thanks :o)
I'll refrain from using the "B" word for a whole week!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:54, Reply)
Marvellous.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:55, Reply)
Non-rape related incident
Gives you the added benifit that no one will ever confuse you with chompy
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:47, Reply)
'Raoul Moat'?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:51, Reply)
^ "I like this"

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:53, Reply)
I love this reply:
"Get over it, love. I'm too short to be a super model. And too fat. And too ugly."
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:44, Reply)
I liked the one saying it is just like racism
"sorry love, you are too black to get close enough to this person's head to cut their hair"
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:52, Reply)
In real life?
a post mortem. However there is weirder shit on the internet than pictures of peoples innards - I tend to retreat squealing 'ew no, I don't want to!' whenever people tell me they need to show me a link etc.
(berk, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:47, Reply)
does real life not make it worse?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:50, Reply)
Yes and no
I nearly lost my breakfast in the first few minutes, but after that I was concentrating too hard on being interested. It was fascinating, but it must be said I didn't feel like eating for some considerable time afterwards...
(berk, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:58, Reply)
And nine times out of ten the link is just going to be "I love horses."
But it's the one time in ten you've got to watch out for...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:52, Reply)
Always, always
mouseover. I think blue waffle was the last one that caught me out - I nearly had to pick chunks out of my laptop keyboard :(
(berk, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:56, Reply)
Blue waffle?
I would ask, but given the tone of this thread, I'm not sure I want to know.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:59, Reply)
don't google it :(

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:01, Reply)
^ this
Trust me.
(berk, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:03, Reply)
It's just as well I'm at work.
As hopefully I'll have forgotten all about this conversation by the time I get home and curiosity will not get the better of me.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:06, Reply)
I remember blue waffle.
Not too bad. I've licked worse.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:11, Reply)
taste of blueberry

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:16, Reply)
I just Googled 'Blue Waffle' out of curiosity.

It was fairly unpleasant.
(Hooty ....away and shite!!, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:27, Reply)
ooo mouseover text
that was a shortlived craze. Wish I could remember how to do it now. Just imagine it says "You're all cunts" when you roll over this
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:01, Reply)

Like this?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:23, Reply)
Could be one of two.
One of our local rail stations has nets to keep pigeons from nesting. Unfortunately some get stuck. One morning a dead one started to leak maggots and they dropped into a girl's long curly hair. They were writhing away and getting themselves all wrapped up. Then she noticed. She tried to get them out and only succeeded in squashing them into her lustrous locks. Then she saw the squashed maggots on her hands and puked all over. I think she went home then.

OR

A really old well filthy tramp once flashed me when I was young. That was pretty disgusting. All scabby and oozing. I can still remember it.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:52, Reply)
Are we playing who can make Kristine vomit first?

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:53, Reply)
Sorry.
It was quite horrid though.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:58, Reply)
I hate that game :(

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:01, Reply)
...and it still turns you on?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:53, Reply)
Maggots.....
Best of all the lubes.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:58, Reply)
it made you
the man you are today
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:59, Reply)
Hurf Hurf.
Hello little girl.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:00, Reply)
Yeah I thought you looked shocked.
Kept me in wanks in my bus shelter home for weeks, that did.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:53, Reply)
I'm pleased I had standards though.
"Go on, touch it."
"Fuck off."
"Go on I'll give you a sweety."
"Fuck off."
"Five sweeties."
"No haggling. Fuck off Monty."
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:57, Reply)
Did you help the young woman
by shouting "THEY'RE IN YOUR HAIR THEY'RE IN YOUR HAIR OH GOD THEY'RE ALL IN YOUR HAIR!"
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:57, Reply)
No.
I went for the silently pointed finger a big smile.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:59, Reply)
Alt Q: 30 seconds of 'Glee'

EDIT: I just spoke to a 'Mrs McCluskey'. Disappointingly a giant fork with an even-more-giant sausage on it did not appear in the air.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:58, Reply)
Wow! That's quick!

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 14:59, Reply)
yet he felt filthy and alone afterwards

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:00, Reply)
Did you ask her about the death of Danny Kendal?
Bronsons got to pay (toupee geddit?)
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:05, Reply)
He was hounded out of his job
and ended up on the Death Star, so in a sense Justice For Danny was served.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:09, Reply)
So he was...
"A long long time ago, when the gays weren't all in your face about it"
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:12, Reply)
Alt Q: Far far far too many images
But I think THE most disgusting thing I've seen would have to be the defendant in a case where I was called to give evidence. He didn't know who I was, and sat next to me in a corridor and tried to strike up a conversation. I sat there, quietly raging, as I knew exactly who he was, and what he'd done to cause him to be there.
I didn't know whether I wanted to stave his face in, or vomit into his eyes, but managed to keep composure enough to get up and walk away.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:14, Reply)
Bollocks is that girl 15
she looks about 24. Weight really ages the face. Apparently James Corden is younger than me. I find the very notion of that absolutely appalling
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:15, Reply)
Alright, there's no need to get your knickers in a twist

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:16, Reply)
you have the haggard face of the habitual bumder

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:20, Reply)
Most habitual bumders have excellent skin
as spaff is known to be a natural moisturiser

And you blatantly look older than me despite being three years younger on account of your serial killer chinflange
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:21, Reply)
no amount of man-goo can prevent you having wrinkles old man
and I blatantly don't look older than you.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:23, Reply)
Well, you do
Not that you look old per se, but I don't look my age, and beards age people too. You might have a cherubic, angelic young person's face under that thing for all I know.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:26, Reply)
it depends on the beard to some extent
it is kind of cherubic. by which I mean round.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:29, Reply)
ooh I was just telling Darth
about a bizarre dream I had about Sonisphere, and both of you were there
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:30, Reply)
do tell....
I had a weird dream last night. weirdest one for a while.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:32, Reply)
we were sitting there having a drink
and Darth was being all adult and refusing to drink in case he got drunk, while I think both of us were drinking a lot (which is odd given that you're not a big drinker, and more of a weed smoker). Then the entire festival was taken backwards in time, and all sorts of bizarre monsters etc began to appear. Eventually we all went food shopping and bought cereal bars.

What was weird, is it is probably the most normal dream I've had in months compared to my others
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:34, Reply)
Vipros - I was also disappointed
at the lack of Eiffel Tower in this dream
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:35, Reply)
that sounds like the sort of ridiculous ending that my dreams often have

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:37, Reply)
my dreams seldom maintain full intensity
I either wake up at the worst bit, or it tails off into insignificance
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:39, Reply)
mine last night ended up with my picking two padlocks on a window of a massive yacht
and having to squeeze through a room completely packed with cushions
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:45, Reply)
that sounds quite claustrophobic

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:50, Reply)
it was better than the alternatives

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:56, Reply)
Granted
Obviously the full Gandalf will age you more than a sculpted effort like yours. A Blessed, for example, will obviously put 10 years on a man
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:31, Reply)
because mine is pointy and I have the sideburns it doesn't age me so much
in fact, it probably places me at about the age I am.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:32, Reply)
Nah mate

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:35, Reply)
you are clearly some kind of idiot

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:39, Reply)
Must...resist...painfully...obvious...retort...
So's your face!

willpower fail
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:42, Reply)
I like you now that you've resigned yourself to the fact that you'll never be even remotely amusing

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:44, Reply)
You like me anyway
We've established this
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:44, Reply)
right, see, I've got a fat face
well, a fat everything really, but I'm contantly told I look about 19 and I'm 27
so, stfu gayface
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:23, Reply)
a) pictures or it didn't happen
b) a "fat face" probably doesn't make you look older, it's when you're an all-over monster like Corden that it ages you. Go back to that pic in the link at the top and tell me that girl looks her age
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:28, Reply)
SIR
I AM AN ALL-OVER FAT MONSTER
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 16:12, Reply)
weight actually makes you look younger
when you get older. Fills out the wrinkles
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:24, Reply)
I very much regret googling tubgirl.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:21, Reply)
she regrets googling you too

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:24, Reply)
I'm very good at the internet
as yet I've managed to avoid seeing Tubgirl, Goatse and two girls, one cup.

It's just a matter of having the sense not to click certain links
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:26, Reply)
Although, that cunt Mongychops has made me see
that picture of a man shitting into a woman's mouth 3 fucking times. But he's a loveable bastard, so it's ok
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:27, Reply)
skillz
I seen goatse enough times to be immune to it but haven't seen the other two.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:27, Reply)
that is good going
goatse and tubgirl aren't all that grim, and I've avoided seeing two girls one cup.

I decided shortly after watching the video of that guy getting his head cut off, and then one of a tortoise fucking a ball, that I'd seen enough disgusting things, and I'm not going to watch any more
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:28, Reply)
I've seen some pretty nasty things
back when rotten.com was a new and exciting website, so I think I've had my quota
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:29, Reply)
do you remember goregallery.com?
that was pretty grim.

and I've just remembered, I've seen a video of a guy nailing his bollocks to a table...
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:30, Reply)
Never heard of it
but now I'm remembering all the details from a video my step dad showed me when I was 12, I think I might sit down and have a cry
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:33, Reply)
I saw the monkey fucking the frog one
that wasn't pleasant
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:29, Reply)
I never watched any of the execution videos that went around
I get upset enough at torture scenes in films, to know it's real would be too much.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:30, Reply)
to be honest
it's worse than you imagine. far from a clean death.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:31, Reply)
I think it would upset me for quite a long time

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:35, Reply)
I think it probably would

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:38, Reply)
when I was about 12 my step dad made me watch a video showing a variety of different executions
I was off sick from school at the time, I really ought to thank him for that.
Watching people being stoned and shot in the face is about as grim as it gets
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:32, Reply)
I used to watch Hook when I was off sick from school

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:35, Reply)
I like the bit when the fat kid rolls down the steps and knocks over all the pirates
and then your dad shows you somebody being electric chaired and a voiceover tells you that the person's blood is beginning to boil and green smoke rises from the hairs on their arms
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:37, Reply)
I like it when they're all chanting Rufio!
and skateboarding around and stuff. I love that film.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:37, Reply)
I don't like the way that Rufio goes all gay for Robin Williams in the end

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:39, Reply)
it wasn't the worst thing I've seen
I've seen photos from murder scenes that are pretty grizzly.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:29, Reply)
*some joke about Yogi Bear's girlfriend being a pretty Grizzly*

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:45, Reply)
Hey you!
Where's that 2 girls 1 cupcake video? I want to see almost as much as I want you.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:29, Reply)
haha it's still a work in progress
by which I mean we haven't done anything.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:31, Reply)
I know we haven't done anything hon
we should really change that soon
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 15:39, Reply)
you're gonna get me fired from the
Kitty & Roota Are Awesome Committee!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 16:30, Reply)
Nah, the committee will go on
but with more tears and, "Does he ever mention me? It's just that, you know, I miss him sooooo much *sob sob*"
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 16:38, Reply)
You're such a stirrer!
I'm gonna buy you a spoon for your birthday
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 16:46, Reply)
You're still awesome Kitzo
And he's still a stalky weirdo ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 17:10, Reply)
Well
I have to say this is certainly one of the most unpleasant mental images I've had in the last few years...
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 19:57, Reply)
Hahahahaha
Look, just stop reading my posts. It's for the best.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 22:12, Reply)

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