This is likely to be of scant import to most
but as of next weekend I am allowed to take my little girl out on my own.

As a self-styled reveller in this fine language we call 'English (UK)' it gives me great pleasure to state that I can find no words whatsoever to amply convey the elation and great joy I am feeling right now.

Without (hopefully) coming across like an emotional (and tedious) Oscar winner, there are so many people on B3ta who have been so supportive and helpful in their advice during my horrible journey: I cannot possibly thank you all enough. I genuinely couldn't have done it alone.

(Yes, I have been drinking)

(and no, I don't have a question)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:33, 163 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Congratulations Monty.
I am absolutely delighted for you.

What made the ex change her mind?

To mark this happy occasion, I'm going to go and get a curry.

EDIT: A QUESTION: 'Where should Monty take his daughter next Saturday?'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:35, Reply)

I was able to counter her every objection conclusively, I think.
As to why she chose to listen this time - fuck knows.

Enjoy your curry. Don't order a korma or I'm afraid you shall be dead to me.

EDIT first person to say 'up the shitter' wins a black eye at Davvo's bash.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:44, Reply)

What's wrong with korma?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:44, Reply)

It's gay.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:45, Reply)

Nothing, providing you don't claim to be in possession of a pair of testicles.

(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:46, Reply)

Or functioning tastebuds.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:47, Reply)

well I have tastebuds
not having had them burnt off from obscenely spicy curries
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:49, Reply)

korma is basically Malibu with lumps.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:51, Reply)

Think of it as a perverse form of natural selection
If you besiege your tongue with a seemingly endless supply of Madras* then only the strongest and most refined tastebuds will survive, allowing you to discern the finest tastes. And then you'll be knocking back stout and chowing down pork-scratching-vindaloos with the best of us.

*_{Yes, I am still technically a student and can therefore justify cooking like one}
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:52, Reply)

I've ordered the Bengal chicken
And the king prawn Ceylon with the special fried rice some onion bhajis and veg dhal.

And yes, this is, as far as I care. A meal for one.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:47, Reply)

Nice order.
Or, as my old mate Ali at Tayyab's used to say, 'good selection'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:59, Reply)

Up the shitter.
I win.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:18, Reply)

For making me laugh.
Yes. You win.

Sniggers.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:19, Reply)

I am officially funnier than Michael McIntyre.
Or Jim Davidson. You choose.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:21, Reply)

Davidson isn't funny. Neither is McIntyre.
Therefore you, and just about everyone else will be funnier than those two.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:22, Reply)

My point exactly.
"nick nick"
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:42, Reply)

Hi Monty
This is great news. Enjoy matey!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:35, Reply)

Thank you Boss*
*now I know what it feels like to be a Turkish shop assistant
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:55, Reply)

It's nice to be able to offer new experiences :)

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:01, Reply)

No worries, glad to help

( broadsword now that's fresh, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:36, Reply)

I like unsupervised access.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:48, Reply)

Great news
Meeting went well then
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:36, Reply)

This is possibly the most uplifting piece of news I've heard all week.
Congratulations, old chap. If this isn't the textbook definition of "a step in the right direction" then I don't know what is. Perhaps when you're sober enough to type it up, I shall look forward to the exciting story of how you used the lunchtime rendez-vous to outwit your dastardly nemesis.

(I'm tempted to crack open a drink in celebration although it might confuse my housemates if I try to explain what the occasion is.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:43, Reply)

Go on, open up a flagon of 'Chateau Pondwater' for me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:47, Reply)

Flagon?
We age our 2008 Vintage in nothing but the finest recycled 2L Fanta bottles in this Chateau, Monsieur!
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:49, Reply)

Sorry, Mr. Of Aramithea,
I did not intend to besmirch your doubtless impeccable bottling strategy.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:02, Reply)

It is not so much a strategy
as finding a material which is not instantly corroded by the fluid we pour into it.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:04, Reply)

I use a similar criteria to pick a girlfriend

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 0:13, Reply)

How fortunate that I chose this moment to have a gander at B3ta!
I'm very happy for you and Len.
Please remember to play the game with your ex, no matter what crazy shit she spouts, and continue to keep your guard up. She is still bonkers.

Enjoy enjoy enjoy, and get planning the day-trips with packed lunches :)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:46, Reply)

I've already been onto TGB's mum for tips.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:48, Reply)

I hope to hear news reports of a bizarre father-daughter Poo Dance on the Cutty Sark very soon.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:50, Reply)

Just keep an eye on YouTube.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:52, Reply)

I shall.
Also, what is your icon? It looks to me like a judo teacher with a quiff.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:54, Reply)

I have no idea, I'm afraid.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:58, Reply)

It's a lemming I think

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:02, Reply)

What???

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:03, Reply)

From the game Lemmings.
The icon I think is a lemming selected to be a blocker so the the other lemmings can't get passed and fall off cliffs/ into traps etc.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:05, Reply)

Ah, ok.
I haven't a clue about games.
I like the idea of it being a teddy-boy judo man.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:07, Reply)

That would be better admittedly!

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:08, Reply)

^ you speak for me on both counts, here.
(speaking as a fifth dan flick knife practitioner and mod-botherer)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:12, Reply)

That is a Lemming
Of 'Lemmings' fame. For shame!
( multijoy, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:08, Reply)

Take her on a camping holiday
Up in Northumbria, re-tracing "Raoul's Route."

Fun and educational.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:55, Reply)

"MONTY! IT'S ME, GAZZA!"

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:56, Reply)

"GAZZA! Perfect timing, you degenerate northern pillock. We were just about to have some dinner by the campfire."
"Why aye, Monty, alreet if I join yuz, like?"
"Well, we'll struggle to get rid of you either way. We were just getting for our little pre-dinner ritual. Perhaps as our guest, you'd like to lead?"
"So, is yuz, like saying Grace or summat?"
"Sort of...well, how well do you remember The Lord's Prayer?"
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:00, Reply)

Gazza would be boss at that.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:02, Reply)

The crying aspect, certainly.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:13, Reply)

A tour of Rothbury's storm drains would be just the ticket.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:57, Reply)

I might come with you
Gather a bit more home-brew while I'm there
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:04, Reply)

I even got a pile of records and a guitar back
that my ex had been holding hostage.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:15, Reply)

Is she dying?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:16, Reply)

You have to wonder....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:18, Reply)

Oh, if you'll allow me Monty...
POTD
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:20, Reply)

Well I certainly 'like this'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:22, Reply)

So where will you be taking her next weekend?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:26, Reply)

One of my oldest and best friends has a daughter
three months older than mine, so I'm hoping she can make a friend and have fun playing with her. Nothing spectacular to start with, but when you have a two year old who's never once met any of your friends this is a major event.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:30, Reply)

PLAY-DATE!
That'll be tops mate. Have you got her overnight? Or is this a 'one-step-at-a-time' thing?

Either way, well done.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:32, Reply)

Not yet, but we'll get there.
And thank you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:33, Reply)

Mate, thats fantastic
I'm over the moon for you!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:37, Reply)

Cheers, old boy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:48, Reply)

Congratulations, Monty!
I've been following your posts on this, and I can genuinely say I'm very happy for you!
xx
(nolongernuts, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:49, Reply)

Monty congratulated you when you got engaged to Crystal.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 21:04, Reply)

Play nicely

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 21:11, Reply)

Get over it, Roota.
Seriously. It's getting to be as dull as me.
(nolongernuts, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 21:14, Reply)

Hare krishna

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 21:22, Reply)

Hare Ramsden.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 21:24, Reply)

Hare of the dog

(nolongernuts, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 21:25, Reply)

Hare H Corbett

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 21:25, Reply)

DC Hare Batt.
Nae body move.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 21:29, Reply)

FUCK!
IS TMI back on tv??
Or was he on Dick n' Dom?
EDIT: Bungalow, I just checked. He's funny as fuck.
TMI is back on though and some of their characters are almost as funny as Harry.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 21:33, Reply)

Pretty sure it was Dick n Dom.
I've no idea if Harry Batt is on telly any more, on account of me not watching kids TV.

The exception was made for that Bungalow program as it was funny as fuck.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 21:37, Reply)

Give TMI a chance.
Also, Ed and Oucho. Ed is a man, Oucho is a talking cactus with a mono-brow.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 21:48, Reply)

My neice absolutely loves Hacker The Dog
Based on this, Hackers Sue Barker song, I can see why.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxMeMPvH3EU&feature=related

I like the sound of Oycho.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 21:59, Reply)

Haha, he is boss!
I think Oucho is made by the same peeps.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:07, Reply)

hahahaha
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsPfN7Egkdw

A tripping cactus.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:14, Reply)

DA WAY
DA WAAA
*thwack*

DA WAY
DA WAAA
*thwack*

DA WAY
DA WAAA
*thwack*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:25, Reply)

I'm really old enough to know better than it find this sort of thing funny.
But I do find it funny.

Is there something wrong with me?

Nae body move.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:26, Reply)

*goes and finds some Harry vids*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:32, Reply)

The series looked brilliant. I'm gutted to have missed it.
A synopsis of occurings can be found on Harry'w Wiki entry.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Batt
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:36, Reply)

Hooray! *big hugs*
I shall let my mother know the good news as I had told her of your troubles with your ex and access to your daughter. She is of the opinion that you should cunt your ex in the fuck.
( girlinthehole, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 20:57, Reply)

Thank you, my dear!
I am utterly pissed now.

Bedtime for Monty

x
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 21:24, Reply)

may I offer
sincerest yays to you
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 21:29, Reply)

Hiyaaa

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 21:33, Reply)

hey up, stranger
how's things with you?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 21:38, Reply)

Things are supa dupa flyyy thanks.
Busy with new job and not here as much now, but thought I'd pop in while making rocky road bars, doing a bit of work and painting the ol' nails.

How's life, Camel?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 21:49, Reply)

ah, good to hear
I'm in a similar boat with my job - turns out september is crazy hard work - especially when everyone keeps giving you extra things to do

You have just made me want chocolate. Badly
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:03, Reply)

I apologise.
Have toast instead.

September is bonkers here, and I have gazillions to do, but it's making my days go nice and fast.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:06, Reply)

i went with hot chocolate

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:26, Reply)

You Sexy Thing

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:30, Reply)

Spectacular news bbz.
I hope you have an excellent time. And may the ex continue to become more balanced.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 21:37, Reply)

I personally think she's been abducted by aliens

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 21:53, Reply)

Hello Ms Lovely Roota
Hope all is well with you!

Maybe she's been replaced with an automaton, and once she's gained Monty's trust, she'll do a Delilah and chop his hair off, depriving him of his powers.

Or maybe not.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 21:56, Reply)

I think you're onto something...
And I trust you are well this heevening?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:06, Reply)

I'm not too bad at all
My flatmate is making me watch the Magical Mystery Tour. It's rather weird. I'm not quite sure I like it.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:13, Reply)

You should try going on the ones run by the Liverpool Tourist Board.
They are far more weird.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:17, Reply)

It's making me want to go to the beach more than anything.
I've not been in too long.

It's also been a while since I went to Liverpool- possibly about 6 years.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:18, Reply)

Blimey, six years.
It's a lot less shit now.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:19, Reply)

Capital of culture innit?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:23, Reply)

It was.
We've put the culture back in the loft with the Christmas tree and the baby clothes now.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:26, Reply)

Back to fiddlin' the 'leccy eh, lar?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:27, Reply)

How do you think we afforded to host the frigging thing?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:29, Reply)

Bristol was in contention when your town won it.
We had absolutely no chance whatsoever of winning it, but our council still thought of throwing several million at the bid.

I've only been to Liverpool once, January 1994.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:31, Reply)

That was an ok January
I had a nice dressing gown.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:33, Reply)

I was pleased with my visit
As my team knocked Liverpool out of the FA Cup.

What was so nice about the dressing gown?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:37, Reply)

It had a hood

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:56, Reply)

cosy
i would like a nice warm dressing gown with a hood. instead i have a black satin kimono which always makes me slip off the sofa/bed and land on my arse. elegant!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:58, Reply)

These people...
www.towels.co.uk/bathrobes.htm

Will do you personalised dressing gowns. I know, as I've bought several of them*. It's the gift that keeps on giving. Especially if you get something stupid embroidered on it.

*Not for me I hasten to add, as gifts for others.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:02, Reply)

Haha, I have one of those.
Good for when you're in a Marilyn Monroe mood or want to impress.
DOES make you slide of the bed. DOES NOT stay closed.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:04, Reply)

exactly right
also nowhere near as comfortable as a nice towelly hoody.

the one i have always wanted is the lovely pale blue and white checked one that monica has in the early episodes of "friends". i'd never leave my flat if i had one of those bad boys.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:22, Reply)

I was going to say that I've missed my opportunity to visit the Pool for football this season
but then I remembered they've got another team - Ever-something? - so all is not lost.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 0:31, Reply)

I went to an exhibition of psychedelica at the Tate with my father
I've never really explored it- maybe as a Manc I didn't want to go into ENEMY TERRITORY
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:23, Reply)

The Biennial's just opened.
You should have a mooch.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:25, Reply)

Nice work dudington
Well played on the access front old boy.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:29, Reply)

yay
has she been to kew gardens with you at all? they have all sorts of things that my nieces love, including a tree skywalk thing, and a creeper climber section for kids...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:43, Reply)

Still working or are you still shopping for a new exercise ball?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:46, Reply)

just got in
from curry with friends in richmond. now i am watching a programme about a 76 stone man and thinking that i should have bought two swiss balls...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:48, Reply)

Or had fewer poppadoms?
Did you manage to find a suitable pink ball today?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:50, Reply)

that was not an option
as i had an hour's boxing this morning and only monster munch for lunch because i was stuck at work!

no, i am stuck with the silly blue ball that doesn't match. but my exercise area is the big bay window bit in my flat and the blinds are blue. so i am consoling myself with that.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:53, Reply)

Far be it for me to labour the point about your excessive exercise regime....
But...

Hours boxing followed by Monster Munch*? Who do you think you are? Ricky Hatton?

*What flavour?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 22:58, Reply)

it's a fairly new regime
i used to be a gym obsessive then didn't go for a few years. now i am loving getting back into it - i have a particular outfit i need to get back into. once i manage that, i'll settle into a more manageable routine! i'm just really stubborn once i decide on something.

edit - the original yellow roast beef ones of course.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:01, Reply)

Good choice of flavour.
Although based on some of your previous posts, I'm amazed you'd allow something as 'working class' as Monster Munch in your flat.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:05, Reply)

oh good lord darling
they weren't in my flat. strictly scoffed in the safety of my office.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:08, Reply)

Washed down 'with a can of pop, duck?'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:11, Reply)

pesto topped houmous
hec-tually.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:21, Reply)

pesto topped houmous
hec-tually.
Panda Pops Cola.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:24, Reply)

cherryade
ftw
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:25, Reply)

I've not had cherryade in years.
Ice-Cream Soda was horrible. I was alergic to Kia-ora.

The drinks of yester-year...
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:28, Reply)

She's fucking northern, man!
She's only on the Monster Munch because they don't make Tudor crisps anymore.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:09, Reply)

Do they still make Fish 'n Chips?
They were lovely.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:10, Reply)

Alas, I haven't seen them for yonks.
The newspaper wrapping bags were a nice touch though.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:12, Reply)

I'm sure there was Chicken 'n Chip as well.
I can't say I've seen them since my youth either.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:15, Reply)

Late to the party as always...
But big woops to Monty. When I say woops, I mean hoorays. When I say hoorays, I mean congratulations.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:08, Reply)

so where
does your penis fit into all those second meanings? giggety.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:08, Reply)

My penis fits snugly into my boxers, Ms Swipe.
When I say boxers, I mean wife.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:10, Reply)

you mean smugly
not snugly!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:20, Reply)

I cannot comment as to the smugness factor.
Suffice to say I am coming to London Village in October and I shall call every Londoner I meet a soft, southern, shandy drinking her-mer-sechshewal.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:23, Reply)

i feel safe
as i am a northerner
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:24, Reply)

No Northerner is safe.
Have you seen the plight of Liverpool FC, for Christ's sake?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:45, Reply)

You can do that easily by saying 'Good Morning' to any random in the street.
They'll be so thrown by a friendly gesture, they'll splutter and stutter like the shandy-drinking London mongs they are.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:26, Reply)

Hugest congratulations that man
I have no idea what fun things there are to do around where you are, but I'm sure you'll find something to do, mostly something that involves you both being happy.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:39, Reply)

They'll both do MASSIVE DRUGS

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:40, Reply)

Maybe she'll start hallucinating after she takes her calpol.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:44, Reply)

That's a given.
But either way, it's good news for Monty.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 23:47, Reply)

Top top news
Try not to drop her down a well first time out.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 0:05, Reply)

Well done Monty
Will we start seeing a cheerier disposition? time will tell!!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 0:23, Reply)

Alright Bob.
Feeling better now?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 0:28, Reply)

yeah I had a bit of a rotter yesterday
too hungover to function. Resolved it with massive drugs and plotting my revenge on Rosicky. City are doing well eh!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 0:30, Reply)

Don't start.
City are shocking at the moment.

That would probably explain my 24 hour binge post-match. I had a big snooze during the BTCC this afternoon and am restless now, meaning i need a few cans of Stella to get me sleepy.

Where did you go Friday?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 0:35, Reply)

It's quite funny how you were on for a great season and already it's buggered.
Went to the Robins Hood Retreat for a few then back to a house party. Smoked far too much weed and greened out for the first time in years. Worst thing was the party was a friend of the new guy in our band and I spent most of the night sat outside feeling sick.

24 Hour binge eh? savage. I can't do that anymore.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 0:39, Reply)

We'll get relegated this season.
Unless things improve rapidly.

I thought you were well into your weed. Throwing a whitey is bad form.

What is your band called?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 0:42, Reply)

I think it's cause I got drunk then started smoking
It was out of character for sure but fuck it nice to be humbled every now and again, as I'm sure you're aware, League One ha ha ha.

No name yet, can't decide. Suggestions welcome. I'm off to bed as I just saw the time .
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 0:49, Reply)

Fair enough.
What sort of stuff do you play?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 0:50, Reply)

Electronica type stuff mainly
like LCD Soundsystem etc
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 10:10, Reply)

this is fantastic!
congratulations Monty, I'm really happy for you. Glad to see that you're beginning to win her over.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 0:35, Reply)

I think you'll find that 'winning her over' was the start of his problems!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 0:37, Reply)

yeah yeah, pedant.
give me a break, I only got up 10 minutes ago. I'm not fully functional yet.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 0:39, Reply)

Sorry Poppet.
Good morning! Get some coffee and some cornflakes!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 0:44, Reply)

just had orange juice and toast.
and now I can greet the day and go about my business. talk later!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 0:50, Reply)

Have a nice daaaaaaaay!
That was said in a rubbish American accent.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 0:50, Reply)

Congratulations Monters Old Chap.
And your first outing is obviously The Zoo (It's the law).
Usual rule applies.
No going home until the pair of you have either:
a) Seen two animals shagging or,
b) Seen a monkey masturbating (Homo Sapiens does NOT count) or,
c) Seen an animal having the most humongous of poos.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 8:15, Reply)

Now that the ex has said yes...
...can I stop shagging her?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 9:49, Reply)

By all means.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 12:04, Reply)

That's fantastic news, Monty
I hope you have a lovely day with her, and long may psychoex keep her newfound equanimity.
(berk, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Good news.
Start as you mean to go on. Take her to see the Jimi Hendrix blue heritage plaque and then get her started with chords C, F & G.
( Cave Duck, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 10:03, Reply)