If you didn't procrastinate so much, what do you think you'd have achieved by now?
In terms of life, education and sexytimes?

Alt Q: what warning sign would be attached to you when drunk?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:36, 182 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Better academic results
Better physical and mental health, and maybe with the latter better relationships.

Alt Q: May attempt to kiss you; punch you; may cry, vomit or any combination of things mentioned previously.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:38, Reply)

I didn't think your academic results could get any better tbh

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:49, Reply)

They really could have done.
They were far from perfect.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Still bloody impressive, don't see why you get yourself down
Could be worse, I've only got 1 A Level, haha.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:56, Reply)

I frequently think that if I didn't procrastinate, I would have finished this godforsaken PhD by now
But then I remind myself that this is ridiculous and simply me getting ideas above my station.

Alt Q: "Warning: Liable to find a comfortable seat and fall asleep."
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:39, Reply)

I'd be completely different
I'd have a first class degree, be more attractive and more energetic.But part of being a procrastinator is you don't really care about that, and to be honest though I'd love better grades, I'm pretty happy being me

Alt Q: danger, may turn pugnacious and/or fall asleep.

Or just 'danger'
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Been to uni at 18 rather than 28
However I learnt a lot in the 9 years of work I did after school. And made a little money.

Alt Q: Caution may start singing Queen songs very loudly or Reef's Place Your Hands in a much louder voice.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:42, Reply)

I'd probably be earning double what I am now.
Alt a: I don't just "idiot" could work.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:42, Reply)

You are syntax error aicmfp

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:46, Reply)

There was meant to be a know in there but I was too lazy to put it in.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:49, Reply)

I'd make a lampito/chompy joke, but I really can't be bothered

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Hard to say, I've achieved everything I've set out to more or less
I might have had other ideas of what I'd like to do though I suppose.


Warning: Liable to talk enthusiastically and at length on subjects not of general interest to anyone willing to listen.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:45, Reply)

I'm 35
and I still dont know what I want to do!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:01, Reply)

I don't know what I'd like to do
so I'm going to carry on being a civil engineer until it occurs to me.

well, actually what I'd really like is to not have to work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week for the next 40-50 years.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:05, Reply)

This ^
If only I could figure out some way of doing that!!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:10, Reply)

if you do, let me know

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:13, Reply)

Will do

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Im 45 and still don't know what I want to do.

( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:10, Reply)

Jeff Bridges?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:11, Reply)

Well besides him : )
He'll be past it soon anyway and then I will have missed the boat.
( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:13, Reply)

<reply deleted>
Reason: Dead to me.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:14, Reply)

If I didn't procrastinate and wasn't Ill, I seriously honestly believe I would be soooo much further in life than what I am now.
I don't mean that in the way every loser down the pub or betting office says "I have an idea for this thinggy that'll make millions; it'll be like having the copywrite of a bottle cap... you know some guy owns billions 'cus he invented the little tags that go on top of hangers with the size written on them? My idea is even better than that, every person on the planet will use it. I swear, I'm going to be so rich one day"..... way.
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:45, Reply)

Alt:
Warning! This man thinks he is very funny. He isn't.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:45, Reply)

thinks he is very funny will fuck your dog
Isn't will
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Child abuser.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:50, Reply)

child drug
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:52, Reply)

I procrastinate, therefore I am.
It's the best thing about me.
(Cave Duck, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:47, Reply)

A driving license
Alt Q: Liable to abruptly engage auto-pilot and fuck off out of the pub without saying a word to anyone.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:48, Reply)

I used to do that. *laughs*
All of a sudden I would want to go to bed and leave everyone without a word.
( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:50, Reply)

God I hate that.
My friend does that shit, one time she left with my jacket, had my keys in it, had to call my parents house at 3am to let me in. *rages*

Ignoring that, do your friends not worry about you? I worry sick when someone just fucking disappears.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:05, Reply)

My mate Dave did that at V festival
with £30 worth of beer tokens on the last night and didnt appear until the bars were shut - the cunt
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:06, Reply)

I think the problem was I couldn't be arsed trawling round the pub finding everyone to say goodbye to.
Then I would get the half hour of whinging because I was leaving early. People knew I could look after myself.
( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:12, Reply)

Exactly

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:22, Reply)

I've done that
I disappeared once to use the loo, saw my bed and thought ooh that looks comfortable, lay down and had a little nap. Went back two hours later
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:12, Reply)

Haha, awesome
I have fallen asleep on someone elses toilet before, rendering the entire bathroom out of bounds for the rest of the party. I didn't make many friends that night, I wonder why?
(berk, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:35, Reply)

I would have passed my Ba hons but still end up doing office work.
Recently I would have sorted out the jobs in my house that need doing. Procrastination has never really affected my life and sexytimes. Self-esteem is more of a problem in that area.

Sign would be - Do not take home.
( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Your answers recently have mad me do a sad :O(

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:52, Reply)

Aw! don't do a sad.
I get by.
( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Getting by is poo

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:54, Reply)

I have a good job, a nice home and some wonderful friends.
I'm healthy, fit and have all my own teeth.

I can't have everything.
( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:57, Reply)

OK, fair enough!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:58, Reply)

: )

( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Sign should be "Take home, then evacuate the area'

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:58, Reply)

Oh boy, an associates degree at least, 3 novels, probably a lovely job.
"Warning: Will likely text you until you turn off your phone in annoyance, makes statements in numerical order [i.e. for one thing, and secondly, etc], will try to put her tongue in your mouth and will make lude suggestions."
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Probably running my own business or something
for life. Education, dunno. Not really bothered about any grades I've earned as they will do. Sexy times, probably more!


Alt Q: WILL TALK LOUD WHEN DRUNK!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:51, Reply)

It's likely I'd have gone to Uni
But I just fell out with academia at about age 14, it just bored me. Year 9, was top of the year for most stuff, year 10, barely above average.

I'd also like to be earning more than I do now, with a degree, I'd be on at least £5,000 p.a. more. I'd also have shifted the weight I gained when I left McDonalds, it's been 3 1/2 years so far!

Warning: Likely to offend. Do not point this out until sober, as he'll just laugh.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:51, Reply)

What a terrible question.
I would be ruler of all the universes if I had not procrastinated so much. I now feel really bad, thank you very much.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:54, Reply)

life - published books/screenplay made into film
and not have to wear a suit until 2am.

education - i am pretty happy with, provided i pass my masters.

sexytimes - hopefully you only regret what you DON'T do. (i try to stick to this because otherwise i might kill myself.) which means only bradley cooper and the hot guy from insolvency - the one who borrows my car - at this particular moment in time.

warning sign - "caution. will forcefeed you vodka shots. doubles."
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 13:58, Reply)

You're like a whirlwind in a trouser suit
remind me to stay clear of you at any bashes we may be attending in the future. Vodka makes me vomit.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:07, Reply)

So does weed.
You are River Phoenix.

AICMFP.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:08, Reply)

Heroin doofus.
Takes back the 5er and buys a couple of smokes.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:08, Reply)

actually
it's a skirt suit today. with stockings with seams down the back that made one of the partners tut at me in the lift. meh!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:20, Reply)

I used to wear trousers with a shirt, tie and waistcoat to work in one of my past jobs.
The men used to go crazy for it. Go figure!
( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Did you have anything green coloured in your handbag?
Oh man, I fucking love it when a lady shows me her hand bag, and I ask her what the space is like inside it, she shows me and there is something green in there. Any sort of green will do, but I like olive green the best. It drives me crazy, it could be anything, from a packet of softmints to a voucher at M&S. Christ, I once saw this girl, who showed me her hand bag, and it had some wriggly's extra, I went fucking crazy, instant stiffy, I wanted to take her there and then.
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:35, Reply)

i have a green and leopard print thong
in mine RIGHT NOW*


*may contain lies, how rank would green leopard print look?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:36, Reply)

It would look as though the leopard had gone off
Probably time to pick up a fresh leopard next time you're going past the cornershop.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Bizarrely
I saw a lass wearing a green leopard print dress as I was walking through new street station today. It might have looked okay on someone half her size, but as it was it just looked like she'd escaped from a menagerie.
(berk, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:45, Reply)

for the avoidance of doubt
THIS WAS NOT ME. i do not actually own anything green and leopardy.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:47, Reply)

You got anything in crocodile skin ? Not aligator though.

( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:53, Reply)

how about this crocodile?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:18, Reply)

*Spaffs*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:22, Reply)

I have on flip flops, a t shirt with an oil stain on it, and ripped trousers
made my boss tut for very different reasons.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:23, Reply)

POIDH

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:38, Reply)

It's proctrastination that has stopped me from getting an injuction from Jeff Bridges lawyers to stay at leat 50 feet away from him at all times.

( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Possibly slightly busier
But likely doing what I am now.

Warning: will get bored and try to find new people or have an adventure. Will buy everyone shots with no warning.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Might have had more sex, would definitely be thinner
AltQ: "Sorry if I stand on you, or if you think I'm glaring, my eyes are rebelling"
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Aww you're all huggly

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:32, Reply)

and snuggly.

( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:33, Reply)

Two nice ways
Of calling me chubby.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:39, Reply)

fatty

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:42, Reply)

*cuts himself
another slice of cake*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Cut two then whilst you're eating one
you can rub the other one over your body whilst weeping softly*

*may or may not be from personal experience.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:44, Reply)

You're wrong you are

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:47, Reply)

In so many ways Labs, in so many ways.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:51, Reply)

I'm probably more of a lolfatty than you
probably
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Maybe
But at least we didn't bail.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:15, Reply)

I would, in theory
have gotten a 2:1 and be halfway through my PhD now. It irks me that I was a ludicrous 1% off the grade boundary. But c'est la vie. Plus, if I'd gone straight in to another 3 or 4 years of study my head might have exploded.
I have decided forthwith that I shall seize the fucking day. Especially when it comes to potential sexytimes. I'm sick of being shy.

Alt Q - is likely to fall asleep and/or take clothes off. If nudity is imminent, for Gods sake put me somewhere where you can't see me.
(berk, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:32, Reply)

have you seen
the irish guy who is suing queens because he got a 2:2?

there has got to be a floodgates argument there, every student in the country who doesn't get a first could sue!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:35, Reply)

So his case is
"I deserve compensation because I was too bone idle to work for a 2.1 or first"?

Is there the foggiest chance of that standing up in court?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:37, Reply)

short answer, no
long answer, fuck no.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:43, Reply)

It seems to be that the possible outcomes are:
Win case, receive compensation for inadequate tuition: ~15,000:1
Lose case, be legally recognised as a bone idle whinger: ~3:1
Lose case, and on the grounds that several other people managed to get 2.1s or firsts on the same course, be legally recognised as a bit of a thicky: Dead cert.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:45, Reply)

It's a long-term worry, though.
We're looking at putting in place "learning agreements" which state the student and lecturer's respective responsibilities. Fucked-up times.

But, yeah, he's doing more harm to his future employment by doing this then his 2:2 has done. Who the fuck would employ that much of a cunt?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:48, Reply)

Just how bad is a 2:2?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:49, Reply)

I got a 2:2
and I got a job doing exactly what I wanted to do within 8 weeks of graduation. I did apply all over the country though, and I had a lot more on my CV than most of my peers.
(berk, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:50, Reply)

Oh dear

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:52, Reply)

depends on the degree and the university
but in Berk's case, the issue is you can't get funding for a science or engineering PhD unless you get a 2:1.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Not without a masters, anyway
and even they can be a bugger to get if you only have a 2:2
(berk, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:05, Reply)

I let people on my MSc course with a 2:2 ....
but, yeah, usually I'd look for something else in the CV to convince me they won't balls it up.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Much as the term "learning agreement" sounds like some irritating management fuckwit buzzword
I appreciate that the lecturers have a responsibility to teach an adequate course and set a fair exam thereupon. I can, however, also see why you need to make the complementary responsibilities clear to the students, as there are some who will just piss three years' education up the wall if you don't keep them in line.

Aside from which, if a lecturer's really that inadequate, surely the students will complain? I was quite reassured to see my own undergraduate department took such complaints quite seriously if enough noise was made at the time.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:53, Reply)

Oh fuck, yeah
If we were shit we'd be out on our ear. But, that doesn't apply to all unis (Oxbridge/Russell group are traditionally the worst as they regard teaching as an irritating distraction a lot of the time)

then again, we just came first in the NSS survey this year in my teaching subject so I would say that ;)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Also, to your earlier point
that's what accreditation is about. Decent courses are accredited by the respective professional institutes, and they check teaching, exams, course content, delivery etc. So that covers the lecturer's responsibility mostly.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:58, Reply)

Good point, I'd forgotten about that!

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:59, Reply)

Oddly enough it was an ex-Oxford guy who attracted the most complaints on my undergrad course
Apparently it broke records...

(Though to be fair, in the end he did respond to certain requests from the department and actually set a very reasonable exam at the end of the year)
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:58, Reply)

most of them want to do research
though in fairness bar one person I have had exceptional teaching and committment from my tutors, including one who if you were at all into Classics/Ancient History you'd know the name of, so technically she should be the worst
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:03, Reply)

I moved from UCL to a "less old School" Uni 4 years ago, to start my own research group
Although I'm mostly employed to do research, that's the exception rather than the norm here, so I still had to do the equivalent of a PGCE for lecturers part-time over 2 years, and there are movements to make that a requirement, same as schoolteachers. But, again, Russell group are blocking it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:05, Reply)

Of course they are.
Whilst it does give me a wonderful veneer of smug to be able to tell people I'm based at a Russell Group uni (another croissant, please, dear boy), the people who run them frequently come across a bunch of phenomenally arrogant cunts.

On that note, is it Queen's Belfast this cunt's suing? I notice they're also Russell Group...
"CUNTS VS CUNT: Whoever wins...they're still a cunt."
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:08, Reply)

It's like arguing on the internet
..whoever wins, everyone loses ....

*passes croissant*

I'm not against Russell Group - hell, UCL made my research career - but they currently seem to think they can control a lot of things by going "ah, but we're good, so what we says goes"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:12, Reply)

Yes, so am I
it surprised me just how massively cliquey and pompous academics are.
(berk, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:13, Reply)

I know, it's like /OT in real life...

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:16, Reply)

he is arguing that he did not get proper supervision
unless he can prove that he worked his arse off for 3 years but was taught the wrong stuff i should have thought that he would have difficulty succeeding!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Surely the first counter-argument is going to be all the people who got 2.1s and firsts,
in spite of the lack of "proper supervision"?

This guy has clearly not thought it through and is just trying it on. I've had students whinge about their marks before, but usually they draw the line at just whinging to you rather than taking it to court for all the country to laugh at them.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:49, Reply)

^ this
surely he received the same tuition as everyone else on his course, so unless they all failed too, he hasn't got a leg to stand on.
(berk, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:49, Reply)

he's arguing supervision rather than teaching
as presumably others on the course achieved better results making the teaching argument flawed. But poor personal supervision could only be used as an argument if he could prove his tutor had ignored a personal issue such as health or welfare, which affected his performance.

If he could have proved that, he would have succeeded in internal appeal at the Uni. Assuming he has appealed internally, of course, because if not, that means he doesn't actually want a higher grade but just wants money, which would make him even more of an utter cunt.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:52, Reply)

The most important point you raise with this
is that, whichever way you spin it, however hard you try to argue it from his perspective, the guy comes across as an utter cunt.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:56, Reply)

true.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:59, Reply)

Fucking stupid padraigs.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:59, Reply)

i wanna know what love is
and i want you to show me...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:01, Reply)

Nope, don't get it
or are you just straight up propositioning Montague?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:20, Reply)

i was just singing
if he wants to take it as a proposition, i am open to offers.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:25, Reply)

I'm going to start preparing already
I seriously doubt I'll even get a 2:1
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:37, Reply)

I've bet my brother a grand I'll get a first.
I have just thrown a grand away.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:42, Reply)

I'll bet you my house against your kidneys
you don't even get a 2:1
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:00, Reply)

I only have one kidney but I'll take that bet. I will get a 2:1. Or a 1st.
How much or what do you want to wager?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:02, Reply)

He's got no chance
Or, at least, unless his Uni are idiots. We have way too much protection in place to ensure that our marking is backed up.

If his case is that he was not taught well enough then he's not got a legal leg to stand on.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:42, Reply)

I have
and he should have pulled his fucking finger out. If he'd put as much effort in to doing that as he currently is doing in to whining about it, he'd have got a 2:1 with ease. I sincerely hope he doesn't win.
(berk, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:43, Reply)

oh yeah, I totally would've been there by now, L0Lb@4h1ng and shit

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:35, Reply)

I really should be married with children by now
i'll do it tomorrow...
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:37, Reply)

oh hai colonel
have you seen my ringless left hand recently?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:49, Reply)

You'll have to accept that his chickens always come first in his life.

( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:50, Reply)

She got off the wrong side of the perch this morning
she really had the hump. That's right, I have a chicken with mood swings.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:54, Reply)

Haha!
A hormonal chicken.
( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:57, Reply)

I think she's going through "the change"
I am going to end up with a pet chicken that doesn't lay eggs, which will make me just that little bit more mental in the eyes of my neighbours.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:03, Reply)

People talk about mad cat people but I think mad chicken people are taking over that mantle.
Having met chickenladies ladies and being surrounded by them where I was staying in Kos, I'm getting quite a soft spot for them.
( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:05, Reply)

I didn't expect them to be so entertaining
(or such a pain) When my last one carks it I think i'll take a break from pets for another decade or so.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:09, Reply)

not if you DO actually get married and have children
you won't
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:15, Reply)

my brother's budgie is the same
how anything with only 2 eyes and a beak, both of which are immobile, can look SO stroppy.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:58, Reply)

I think Charlie is still a bit pissed off at me for leaving her for a few days.
I had better not tell her that I have been invited skiing in February...
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:05, Reply)

just buy her something sparkly
she'll get over it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:11, Reply)

That's really made my day, especially when you consider what you know about me;
Somerset
Accountant
Chicken
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:53, Reply)

but that's all i need to know...
-away from the ratrace
-can balance out my number dyslexia and fear of maths
-free omelettes for life

see!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:56, Reply)

And plenty of cider in the west country!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:01, Reply)

I was never christened, and I believe you're catholic?
I guess it's going to have to be the little white chapel...VEGAS BABY! (Just Like Brittney Spears)
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:01, Reply)

Not another bloody catholic.
They're everywhere.
( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:02, Reply)

under the carpet
and under the stair
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:05, Reply)

SEE WHAT I MEAN!!
*dons tinfoil hat*
( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:06, Reply)

we're watching you
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:07, Reply)

That's ok.
I only masturbate with the lights off.
( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:09, Reply)

Is this
about a little mouse with clogs on?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:10, Reply)

^ most bizarre post of the day
It's about Catholics and their noted ability to hide anywhere in your house. One could be watching you right NOW Monty
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:11, Reply)

Well I declare.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Is this about Ann Frank?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Oh I declare!
Going clip clippity clop on the stairs.
( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:14, Reply)

Is this first sign of
mass hypnosis?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:15, Reply)

www.poppyfields.net/poppy/songs/windmill.html
( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:17, Reply)

It begins to make sense
thanks BGB
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:18, Reply)

I'll be singing this in the car all the way home now.

( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:21, Reply)

They're breeding like rabbits!
/Paisley
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:06, Reply)

wow, attention to detail
well remembered, yes i am.

we could always just live in sin and have a massive party instead.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:04, Reply)

What WOULD the Pope say!?
"Achtung schweinhund!" probably
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:07, Reply)

i'm over 6
so well off his radar.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:11, Reply)

You are also female
so I am confident you can relax. You are in no danger.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:17, Reply)

id be athletic, smarter and better qualified..
However I think drink is more to blame than procrastination...

The warning would be 'lousy'
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Thinking about the main question
is so utterly depressing my mind won't actually let me consider it in any detail as I would probably top myself.

Alt: 'Beware: SEX MACHINE'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:55, Reply)

+ " - CURRENTLY RE-LOADING"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:56, Reply)

"Critical Error"
Corruption detected in Heterosexuality.dll

Retry Ignore Cancel
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:01, Reply)

Ye cheeky feckin cont, ye.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:03, Reply)

Forgive me

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:04, Reply)

With pleasure.
Feeling energised after your break?

Or merely 'a bit ill'?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:05, Reply)

Well I was off yesterday ill
Managed to hold the lurgy back at the weekend, and had a ruddy lovely time! Clendrix makes the best cheese scones and bread rolls.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:06, Reply)

You had Clendrix's cheese scones? Oh man I'm jealous. They're aces

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:08, Reply)

I had FOUR
And drank lots of white russians.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:08, Reply)

Skiver

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:20, Reply)

I just saw your fabulous news and am most chuffed for you :)

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:06, Reply)

Any of you london cunts been to one of these?
www.belleepoqueparty.com/next-event.html
(PsychoChomp, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:57, Reply)

I have no desire to 'dance with the green fairy'
and I am rather surprised to discover that you do.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:58, Reply)

Not me, I'm not going
for a mates birthday who wants to do something in london.
I'm surprised you don't want to go though, it's right up your "heavy drinking/looking like a ponce" street.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 14:59, Reply)

It'd be full of fucking imbeciles trying to be 'decadent'*.
I can hardly imagine anything worse.


*and failing miserably, coming across instead like Lawrence Llewellyn-Bowen
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:01, Reply)

Yeah that's what I thought
but there'll be 6 or so good friends there so they don't need to talk to randoms all night.
Plus bonus chicks in corsets.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:04, Reply)

OK - I will come after all. Thanks for the invite.
I'll wear my most ludicrous 'steampunk' (belm) outfit. I guarantee not to embarrass you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:07, Reply)

I actually like the steam punk thing.
I think it's quite innavative and clever with some of the clothing and items being produced.
( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:12, Reply)

I think it's fucking retarded.
The whole thing smells suspiciously of 'LARPing' to me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:13, Reply)

I also like cybergoths.
I think they brighten the place up.
( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:18, Reply)

They brighten the place up
in the same way that vomiting red wine all over a white carpet 'brightens the place up'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:19, Reply)

*laughs*
*ruffles Monty's hair*
( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:20, Reply)

smile indulgently as well

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:28, Reply)

what
so your friend just asked you for your opinion on a venue but then didn't invite you to the party. what sort of a friend does that?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:02, Reply)

A sensible one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:03, Reply)

I was invited but I can't afford it.
Moving and shit has taken his toll.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:03, Reply)

now i feel bad
for asking.

(still laughing at monty's riposte though.)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:05, Reply)

No you don't

(PsychoChomp, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:05, Reply)

you're right
nobody who refers to "chicks" deserves my guilt.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 15:10, Reply)

I was taught the word 'procrastinate' in about Primary Three. It was aimed specifically at me.
Presumably the teacher was trying to scare me. It didn't work. If I didn't procrastinate...I expect I would have achieved some other stuff, I don't fucking know. Probably have graduated on time, certainly.

Alt Q: "Friendly Warning! This man will almost certainly attach himself to somebody during the course of the night, and refuse to leave them alone. Reduce the chances of it happening to you: know your risks!
-Do not let him know you have cigarettes.
-Do not talk to him about philosophy or literature.
-Do not talk to him about sex.
-Do not talk to him about personal drama issues, especially ones involving philosophy, lit or sex.
-Do not talk to him about anything much at all.
-Do not *not* talk to him! He will take this is a sign you need to be 'brought out of your shell' and try to be your fucking social worker or some shit.
-DO NOT LET HIM KNOW YOU HAVE CIGARETTES. He would ignore a fresh 20deck in his pocket to cadge as many as humanly possible.
-Do not be soberer...erer...er than him. He has literally poured drinks over people's faces to get them drunk before now.
-Finally, do not encourage him to get off with other men for your sick female amusement. He won't do it and you can't prove he did because you forgot to take photos.

_{Other risks may include licking, dancing, moshing, shotting, coughing, fondling and punching}"
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 21:37, Reply)