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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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It is British Cheese Week.
I do hope you're all doing your bit. I know I am.

I was appalled to read this morning that almost 25% of 16-24 year olds in this country do not know that the principal ingredient of cheese is MILK.

These are the cunts with 25 A* GSCEs each.

What makes you despair for the future of humanity?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 8:52, 244 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
You, mainly.
Although I feel the need to state the best cheese I've ever had. It was Garlic & Nettle cheese, I bought it from a farm in Ireland. Fooking fantastic.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 8:54, Reply)
Humans, mostly.

(Cave Duck, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 8:55, Reply)
The fact that chavs breed much more readily than intelligent people
oh and I had a client on the phone yesterday who asked where our office was. I said Manchester. He said "is that in London?"
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 8:57, Reply)
to be fair, I had no idea of that, until I looked it up.
I thought it was just a part of London.

Unless this guy is british, in which case he's a bit of a bellend.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 28 Sep 2010, 8:58, Reply)
They have maps in the prison library, he should get reading.
To be fair, he sounded African.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:03, Reply)
Hmmm well that's no excuse if there's a library and there's not much else to do.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:04, Reply)
they tend to go to the gym and become super buff
so they can hand out vengeance later.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:12, Reply)
Strike a light. It must be your strong Cockernee accent.
Mind you, if the breeding ratios were reversed. I'd be officially an idiot. We all need someone to feel superior to.
(Cave Duck, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:00, Reply)
The general ignorance of most people you meet.
Best not talk about anything important when you have a conversation, just stick to the weather and sport.

Fuck me, most people can't even talk about cheese in a sensible manner for more than 15 seconds.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 8:58, Reply)
I FUCKING LOVE CHEEZES!!!!!111

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:03, Reply)
So do I.
Right now, I'm hankering after some Yarg.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:06, Reply)
I haven't even heard of that
I feel so uneducated.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:08, Reply)
A hard cheese from Cornwall, wrapped in nettles.
AA mentioning nettles above, made me think of it.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:11, Reply)
Hmmm, you're hankering after cheese at 9 am.
How many units of cheese do you consume in a week?
Have you ever missed work due to excessive cheese consumption?
Have you ever stolen to fund your cheese habit?
(Cave Duck, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:15, Reply)
do you hide cheese around the house?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:21, Reply)
I'm sure that I saw traces of Wensleydale on his nostrils earlier.

(Cave Duck, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:26, Reply)
That was organic Feta.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:30, Reply)
Well,
A, Too many.
B, No.
C, Only Dairylea.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:23, Reply)
Em's mum bought us some goat's cheese
Locally made, food fair blah de blah. It fucking stinks, but tastes lovely.
Had it on a pizza last night with chili anchovies.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:11, Reply)
chilli anchovies?
WHAT THE SHIT?!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:12, Reply)
Anchovies stored in chili oil
Fucking NOM.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:18, Reply)
you're sick.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:31, Reply)
You don't eat marmite, you have no opinion.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:32, Reply)
It's perfectly acceptable to hate marmite
they base their entire advertising campaign around that fact!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:35, Reply)
Which do you not like
Anchovies or chili oil? Or both?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:37, Reply)
It's the chilli
I can't hack anything hot. Anchovies are the sex.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:39, Reply)
Hmmm
I'll let you off because you like anchovies, but you lose points for not liking spicy food.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:42, Reply)
I want to like it!
I really do. I just can't.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:24, Reply)
That sounds splendid.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:13, Reply)
goats cheese is fucking rank

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:21, Reply)
WRONG

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:22, Reply)
yes you are

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:22, Reply)
It seems you and I
Are at an impasse.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:23, Reply)
you're an imp-ass

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:25, Reply)
Your face is an imp ass

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:27, Reply)
your mother is an imp ass

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:27, Reply)
your mum's face is an imp ass

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:34, Reply)
*narrows eyes*

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:35, Reply)
It's from Cornwall.
Sounds like you have some work to do, this week.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:12, Reply)
yeah I'm going to spend my week reading about cheese.
I can't wait.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:13, Reply)
GSCEs make me despair.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 28 Sep 2010, 8:58, Reply)
Why, are your mocks coming up?

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 8:59, Reply)
I see what you did there.
*trigger fingers*
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:29, Reply)
Take it as a compliment,
I don't expect you get mistaken for a 15 year old everyday.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:33, Reply)
I don't get your high school system.
It just doesn't make sense to me. Here we'e just got six years of primary, six years of highschool, the last two are what are graded for your university entrance rank.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:00, Reply)
Here, it's 7 years primary, 5 years secondary, then 2 for Sixth form (which is when we're judged for Uni)

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:01, Reply)
ahh I think our last two are maybe the equivalent of your Sixth form.
I tell you what though, our last year of school is equivalent to the first year of uni in America apparently. There was an american exchange student last year - he was about a year behind us in classwork, despite being in the same level.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:06, Reply)
Crazy

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:08, Reply)

stupid
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:16, Reply)
N-Dubz

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 8:59, Reply)
The blank
appalled look when you say your TV isn't hooked up for watching TV channels.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:03, Reply)
It's a similar look
When I say "Oh, I don't support any football team, can't stand the sport.". Once someone replied "Yeah, but, if you DID support a team, who would it be?". I had to say "The one which shot that African team as they were getting off the plane."
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:10, Reply)
First 'lol' of the day, and it's a hearty one from me.
Plus, I share your sentiments entirely.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:13, Reply)
traffic wardens
Made a painfully hungover rush to car. Two minutes late. Same smug twat who ticketed me yesterday - there is no worse start to the day - despite a valid ticket was gearing up to do it again.

I said loudly into my phone "maybe if he got a real job he could have a nice car himself instead of just touching the wipers of other people's".

Then felt horribly ashamed but fortunately he had fucked off and hadn't heard me!

But seriously. To do the rounds and make a note of when people's permits expire to the minute... No. The point is to stop people parking somewhere obstructive, not to harass innocent driverd with valid permits!

And breathe..... God I feel like shit today, hope everyone else is doing better....
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:04, Reply)
Maybe leave a note for him next to your valid permit?
telling him that you're a Very Important Lawyer type.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:08, Reply)
Most of the traffic wardens are from Nigeria.
and if you give them any information about yourself, they empty your bank account.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:09, Reply)
Hahaha
Very pleased to see it is also British Racism Week.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:14, Reply)
I thought every week
Was British Racism Week?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:15, Reply)
It fucking is in my house.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:25, Reply)
I accidentaly sat on a Daliy Mail, and absorbed it.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:15, Reply)
The car park behind my old flat was permit only and the little card permit they gave us
had to be displayed next to the tax disc, but twice mine fell off the dash and landed on the passenger seat. It was still clearly visible, but they clamped me anyway and it cost £80 each time plus the £3 processing fee for my payment! *seethe*
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:11, Reply)
Traffic warden cocks
I saw a couple of them standing subjecting a row of cars in my old street each to incredibly close scrutiny one day; they spend about 5 minutes looking at each car, then moved on to the next. Good use of there time that was, about 45 minutes to do one street.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:15, Reply)
they patrol the street outside my office religiously
and they hang around until people are 1 minute past their ticket and immediately put it into the machine even if the person is running back to their car.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:17, Reply)
They can be utterly unreasonable
To the point of utter cockdom. Mind you, I'll never forget the look on one warden's face as he went down a line of expensive cars (two ferraris, two porsches and a bentley) and ticketed each one.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:20, Reply)
I do enjoy it when they ticket people who take the piss
for example last year there was a brand new Ferrari parked on double yellows outside the entrance to a club on a Saturday night. It had a disabled badge in the window, but it was blocking an entrance and it was dangerous so they ticketed it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:24, Reply)
last time I got a parking ticket
it was because my pay and display one had blown over when I shut the door and I hadn't noticed. The traffic warden walked past and looked at it when I was walking away (had got about 5 metres from my car) and he didn't say anything, he waited for me to leave then ticketed me.

The fucking cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:16, Reply)
I have received two parking tickets.
The first was my own fault, as I forgot to display my temporary permit. The buggers are quick in Ealing.

The second time, I went on holiday and they changed the parking restrictions around my car, which they then ticketed. My on-time appeal was mysteriously lost in the post.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)
How does one find a job as a traffic warden?
Sounds like fun!
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:32, Reply)
Harry Redknapp

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:05, Reply)
At least he knows the value of a decent goalie.

(Cave Duck, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:06, Reply)
This, unfortunately, is true.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:39, Reply)
Where to start?
The ongoing greed of bankers (high-end, not the high-street tellers)
Celeb gossip media whoredom
Everything to do with Premiership football
X-Factor (and all the others)
The overgrown sense of entitlement displayed by many greedy arseholes
Gang culture
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:17, Reply)
The fact that some TV company thought that we'd be interested in a load of twerps who live in Notting Hill.
WTF!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:17, Reply)
have you watched it?
is it as shit as it looks from the adverts?

in other news I watched an episode of the Inbetweeners last night. It wasn't completely shit as I expected in the way that Gavin and Stacey and the IT Crowd are
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:20, Reply)
No I haven't watched it.
I love watching documentaries about other peoples lives or other cultures but watching a programme about a load of vacant wannabees is not my idea of ideal TV. I do realise there are some ethnic groups in there but I get the idea that it's mostly about the posh lot.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:24, Reply)
This is why I don't dare watch programmes like Young, Dumb and Living Off Mum
or the Fairy Jobmother. I just know I'll get really angry and end up shouting at the TV like a northerner.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:26, Reply)
Then Wiggy says
"They can't hear you, y'know..."
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:27, Reply)
and that's when he gets a slap for talking back to me

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:30, Reply)
I have nothing to say to this

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:39, Reply)
*lowers backhand*

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:40, Reply)
Kitty's gotta keep her pimp hand strong

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:42, Reply)
haha
bitches know.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:46, Reply)
You should send him to get you some more Mackeson's.

(Cave Duck, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:42, Reply)
I don't know what this is

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:46, Reply)
Mackeson's stout - the northern matriach's drink of choice.

(Cave Duck, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:48, Reply)
ahh I see

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:51, Reply)
I love the Inbetweeners
although the new girl in it was in Hollyoaks and she's utterly shit so that's a shame.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:25, Reply)
I was really expecting it to be fucking shit
like a lot of really popular comedy stuff
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:26, Reply)
yeah I thought it looked shit from the ads when it first came out so I ignored it
but then one of my friends had it on so I had to watch it and it was surprisingly entertaining. I've never watched Gavin and Stacey though. I don't usually like British comedy which is terribly unpatriotic but it's usually shit. Father Ted, Little Britain, they just suck. There are some exceptions; I love Spaced.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:29, Reply)
don't watch Gavin and Stacey
it is seriously fucking awful.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:31, Reply)
Did you just say Father Ted sucked?
Cos if you don't like Father Ted then you can just git out!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:32, Reply)

git out feck off!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:34, Reply)
Be careful now.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:36, Reply)
I hate it
go on go on go on go on go on and fuck right off and die you unfunny cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:35, Reply)
I think you are on to a loser here Kitty.
Father Ted was one of the best sitcoms ever.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:37, Reply)
I disagree entirely
but I accept that other people may enjoy it because I don't have Montyitis, which results in your opinion being the only one allowed.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:42, Reply)
Don't you find strongly-held viewpoints more interesting?
Particularly if you disagree with them?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:45, Reply)
Strong opinion and interesting debate; yes,
inability to concede that others may have a differing and no less valid opinion; no.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:52, Reply)
You are wrong.
*folds arms*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:59, Reply)
At the risk of stooping to the level of Labs and Vipros
your face is wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:04, Reply)
You're at our level now
It's warm down here.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:07, Reply)
WE ALL FLOAT DOWN HERE

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:14, Reply)
Down with this sort of thing.

(Cave Duck, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:46, Reply)
Careful now.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:47, Reply)
THAT WOULD BE AN ECUMENICAL MATTER!

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:02, Reply)
Father Ted is fantastic. Agree about Gavin and Stacey though it;s toss
I really enjoyed the first two series of Inbetweeners but am not enjoying this one as much. Can't quite work out why either. The new girl is shit but very hot.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:36, Reply)
I've only seen the episode of this season where they try and score weed
and it was funny but it also annoyed me, I don't know anyone who calls it 'puff' so that was irritating, plus the whole thing with the shit bird reading the NME was annoying as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:45, Reply)
Completely agree, plus the whole spastic arm movements from eating a tiny block of hash
just annoyed me. Drug and sex jokes are funnier when they are real rather than hammed up cliche bollocks.

Apart from in Bottom where the stupider the better.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:50, Reply)
Yeah that was just stupid
I thought he was doing ok with the 'I feel weird' bit, but then the spasms were just lame.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:53, Reply)
I retort with
Black Books, The Day Today, Brass Eye and anything with Alan Partridge.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:40, Reply)
I was watching the 2nd series of Partridge last night.
Total and utter genius.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:43, Reply)
Did you ever catch any Saxondale?
Another Steve Coogan sitcom, which I found hilarious.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:50, Reply)
I never gave it a fair chance, I think.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:59, Reply)
I forgot about Black Books, that is brilliant.
But I don't really like Alan Partridge. I can't say I've really given it a fair shot, but the bits I've seen haven't been funny.

Brass Eye is ok, I never saw The Day Today.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:44, Reply)
The Day Today is a little dated
But still utterly brilliant.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:46, Reply)
It really is superb.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:48, Reply)
Black Books, bar season 3 was amazing

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:45, Reply)
'Father Ted' was excellent.
'Spaced', conversely, was really, really shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:42, Reply)
I love the unnecessary inverted commas
I can see you doing them. I can see it Monty.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:43, Reply)
*switches off webcam*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:50, Reply)
I thought Spaced was very good but not as amazing as it was lauded to be.
Best sitcom ever for me was Bottom.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:43, Reply)
Hahahahahahahahah!
I am genuinely shaking my head and laughing in disbelief.

I would rate 'Bottom' below Terry and June. It was so, so bad.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:46, Reply)
I don't even know what Terry and June is.
Bottom is superb. So so so funny.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:48, Reply)
'Terry and June'
was the apotheosis of shit-coms. Like a less-funny 'My Family'.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:51, Reply)
Even less funny than Keeping Up Appearances?
I find that hard to believe
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:56, Reply)
'Bottom' was less funny than 'Keeping Up Appearances'.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:00, Reply)
I don't know what that is either?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:00, Reply)
Keeping Up Appearances would be something your parents might have had on when you were younger
based on a woman trying to be more posh than she really is. Her name was Bucket but she made people pronounce it bouquet. I thought it was quite amusing when I was younger.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:03, Reply)
I remember that
That was shit. Monty you mental old fool, Bottom was much better than that. You'll be telling me you think Lord Flashheart was a shit addition to Black Adder next.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:08, Reply)
Yes, I will.
Worst character in Blackadder by nearly 850,000%
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:32, Reply)
agreed

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:35, Reply)
At least she's attractive
Unlike the giantess.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:27, Reply)
the giantess?
who's that?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:29, Reply)
Did you not see it last night then?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:32, Reply)
No, I was poledancing and wearing a hat and stuff

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:33, Reply)
Well, it's entirely understandable that you missed it then
What with wearing a hat and stuff. You'll understand after you see it.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:35, Reply)
As soon as I've watched it I'm going to leap onto b3ta and shout
OMG PENGUIN YOU WERE RIGHT I TOTALLY GET WHAT YOU MEAN NOW
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:42, Reply)
Caps lock sarcasm: it's the worst type of sarcasm
And it makes me sad.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:45, Reply)
Sorry
I wasn't being mean sarcastic like TGB, I was going for overly-excited.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:55, Reply)
In that case
I feel it's entirely ok to be excited about the InBetweeners.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:59, Reply)

mean sarcastic
a massive massive bastard
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:00, Reply)
do you want to join LAK?
We could be BLAK hehe
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:01, Reply)
BLAK is the new Black.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:05, Reply)
Religious people
of any sort.

Oh and those people that think they are vampires.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:21, Reply)
^This

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:24, Reply)
Happy Candleday.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:24, Reply)
You just don't understand us.
*sweeps cloak over head*.

Happle Candyday :D
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:26, Reply)
Oooooo!
Its my candle day! Which means its 6 years since I last did any work.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:31, Reply)
Happy candlez to you.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:02, Reply)
I'm also a Colonel
so there
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:32, Reply)
There is a lovely cheese shop/deli in Didsbury, Manchester.
I used to get a fantastic cheese with cumin seeds in.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:31, Reply)
There's a joke in there somewhere

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:33, Reply)
Ooh I drove past that the other night and remarked on all the cheeses!
It's called The Cheese Shop or something silly isn't it?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:34, Reply)
OH THE CHEESE SHOP! *slaps forehead* I know it...
The one that sells all the cheeses, it's on cheese street in the cheese district
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:37, Reply)
That's the one
it's two doors down from World Of Cheese, opposite Cheese-r-us.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:52, Reply)
*scowls*

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:55, Reply)
Is it anywhere near Cheeses of
Sorry. Couldn't bring myself to finish that one.
A wedge too far one thinks.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:15, Reply)
Nazareth?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:30, Reply)
That Dan McCafferty, he fucking loves a bit of haloumi.

(Cave Duck, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:51, Reply)
The cheese hamlet I think
I've only ever driven past it though.
(berk, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:44, Reply)
I have Bavarian cheese today. Hmmmmm smoked plasticy cheese.
Nom Nom
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:37, Reply)
I like this!
That and St Agur
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:43, Reply)
I know not of St Agur?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:46, Reply)
Its a blue cheese and its fucking nyom!
Try some NOW!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:46, Reply)
blue cheese you say
never has that stuff passed these lips. I think I may give it a miss.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:48, Reply)
You are missing out!
Still, squeaky smoked Bavarian cheese is still good
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:50, Reply)
I can't make myself excited about eating stale mouldy milk.
Flavoured rubbery stale milk, yeah happy days!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:51, Reply)
hahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:52, Reply)
blue cheese is ming.
It's blue because it's off.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:56, Reply)
All cheese and yoghurt is off!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:03, Reply)
So are all fermented drinks, for fuck's sake.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:10, Reply)
Indeed

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:13, Reply)
but the blue is concentrated offness.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:25, Reply)
Oh Kitty. Kitty, Kitty, Kitty....
It is better to stay silent and be thought a fool*, than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.


*oops! Needs MOAR cheese.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:04, Reply)
thought a food?
How hungry are you Monty?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:04, Reply)
A food?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:05, Reply)
Humans, mainly
Especially as it's freshers week and the place is swarming with pretentious little shits in skinny jeans and ugg boots. Honestly, it makes you want to do a Columbine, it really does.
(berk, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:43, Reply)
I hate skinny jeans
Unless they're on skinny girls. It is odd how some girls wear leggings when their top doesn't cover their bum, especially when they then wear white pants under, so you can see them. Very odd.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:45, Reply)
I have no problem with skinny jeans
or leggings, as long as I can't see the outline of your foof. Or indeed, as long as you aren't a fucking heifer. I really don't see why you would buy either form of trouserwear if you were above a certain size as it just looks nasty.
(berk, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:52, Reply)
This ^
Outlines FTW! But not on fat birds
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:53, Reply)
fat legs in skinny jeans looks like carrots.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:57, Reply)
.
carrots jelly in condoms
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:02, Reply)
I tried a pair of cords in Blue Banana on once
Not knowing they were 'skinny fit'. I couldn't get my manly, muscular legs in the size I'd picked, and when the serving girl gave me another pair to try, they were tight on my legs but massive around the waist.
I told her they were stupid trousers for people without legs.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:09, Reply)
Every time I see a bloke in skinny jeans I get that "My life as a dickhead" song playing in my brain.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:13, Reply)
I've only seen one guy wear them and look cool
And that's a guy Em works with. Applebite would be overcome by a powerful need to destroy him with her vagina.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:15, Reply)
They suit me, I think.
But then I am a dickhead.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:14, Reply)
That's because you're a spindly crackhead.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:15, Reply)
You're a malformed gnome but you don't catch me saying it in public.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:27, Reply)
Hmm, what icon of glory and hope can I have Monty shitting on today?

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:15, Reply)
Surely Bowie's due a 'log-flume' or two.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:28, Reply)
"Badly made sausage legs" as my son once described them.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:17, Reply)
I've got that to look forward to next week
And I will want to kill every last one of them.

I think I may have some of my homebrew left in a cupboard somewhere...and Freshers will drink just about anything, won't they?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:46, Reply)
Can I come with you?
I don't like students.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:48, Reply)
Unless they're 19 years old with perfect, hairless arses, of course.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:52, Reply)
That's beside the point
so long as they've done their GCSEs I'm ok.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:53, Reply)
*winks*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:05, Reply)
What about the girls?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:54, Reply)
I don't know, we're not allowed girls at my university

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:55, Reply)
Hard to bear

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:57, Reply)
(c) Bernard Bresslaw 1962


'But Sid....'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:05, Reply)
*likes*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:07, Reply)
Just put it in a Jaegermeister bottle
You might even be able to sell shots of it, then.
(berk, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:49, Reply)
I can envision the cunts now
Laughing through their buck teeth, fashion glasses and coiffured hairstyles that "God, I'm so drunk, I've had, like four shots of that stuff *horse noises*"
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:54, Reply)
Yep
*loads shotgun*
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:57, Reply)
*hands bandolier*

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:58, Reply)
*Trigger fingers*
OOPS!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:00, Reply)
I get the sense you may have actually seen this in real life...

(berk, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:59, Reply)
I had already grown to loathe undergraduates
even before I finished my degree. Mainly for these reasons.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:01, Reply)
I had already grown to loathe undergraduates
before I finished secondary school.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:11, Reply)
I had already grown to loathe undergraduates
Before I punched my way out of my mother's womb.
The doctors had to write it up as 'Cesarean', because 'Fucking awesome' wasn't an option in the NHS database back in the day.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:17, Reply)
Same here
but there are less hipsters than last year which is a good thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:47, Reply)
Much to my endless amusement
there is a Cheesemonger in Edinburgh, across from the Liquid Rooms, never been in though.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:47, Reply)
Cheese week?
I must admit I was completely oblivious to this news. Well, I was going to celebrate surviving tomorrow's meeting by buying a guitar on Thursday, but now I think I might just buy the equivalent weight in Stilton instead.

As for despair...well, just look at passes for 'cheese' in the States.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:52, Reply)
Spray on cheese...
it's just not right, is it?
(berk, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:56, Reply)
that bright yellow liquid nacho cheese is just wrong as well.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:00, Reply)
If you're talking about Queso
it has it's place in Texmex.

Spray Nacho cheese is sinful.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:06, Reply)
Cheese in America?
All one texture in multiple hues, just with a different name on each packet.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:57, Reply)

texture taste, and that is of cardboard.
(berk, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:00, Reply)
Not so.
www.artisanalcheese.com/prodinfo.asp?number=16055

They do make the schoolboy error of calling it 'artisanal' though.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:19, Reply)
Even some of those cheeses
can be magically woeful - best cheese I ever had in America was in New York. It was from France.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:24, Reply)
Haha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:25, Reply)
I had some awesome Amish cheese in Georgia
their cheesecake was the best I've ever had as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:27, Reply)
"Art is Anal Cheese"?
That sounds unpleasant.

I imagine their URL has similar problems to "therapist.com"
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:24, Reply)
There are some great artisan cheesemakers in the US.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:08, Reply)
This is true, and similar for beer and no doubt various other things,
the trouble is that the general populace in the States is even more collectively retarded than ours, so the good stuff can be tricky to find.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:12, Reply)
True enough,
It's just that the 'Americans are all cunts' stance that is so popular in this country is as lazy, ignorant and stupid as the lowest-common-denominator Americans it is supposed to be deriding.

It does annoy me.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:17, Reply)
I drank so many fantastic American beers at the beer festival this year, it saddens me that I shall never be able to purchase them here.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:23, Reply)
This is one thing I will defend vigorously
and I do know a place in Borough where you can buy them - I get some every now and again.

Day trip HOOOOOOOOO
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:24, Reply)
You don't mean Utobeer by any chance, do you?
He does have a good selection there.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:26, Reply)
It is indeed.
Only place I've ever found Flying Dog outside the US.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:28, Reply)
Well, the Rake, round the corner from there, does tend to have the stuff in the fridge
I believe that's where I first tried Flying Dog's IPA. Of course, they will charge you a horrifically inflated price for the privelige.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:29, Reply)
Lab's got it covered in Stratford,
there's a Paxton and Whitfield in town. That's a lovely cheese shop.

Here I've got Greensmiths and Neals Yard Dairy, two places that conspire to make me fat.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 9:53, Reply)
Damn right!
One work Christmas do, the MD bought a P&W hamper thing and gave it away for whoever won the quiz. Me and my mate cheated our arses off and won it, on the proviso that Christmas evening we go 'round hers(with some mates) and eat it all.

It was pure decadent bliss!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:12, Reply)
I've been cutting the cheese all morning.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:03, Reply)
wahey!

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:06, Reply)
The correct response was, I'm afraid, 'pfffft'.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:10, Reply)
boooo!

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:13, Reply)
Get out.
Just... just get out.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:16, Reply)
You're doing your best.
It's not your fault he doesn't get it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:18, Reply)
wocka wocka

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:20, Reply)
You're just making stupid noises now.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:21, Reply)
You have resorted to TYPING OUT lolwacky noises.
I recommend a swift course of suicide.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:22, Reply)
nee naw nee naw

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:26, Reply)
Before the stench reams your nostrils.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:21, Reply)

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